Original subtitles

This is my deal, remember? Leave your token to me.

All right, Clark?

I said leave the talking to me.

All right, Clark?

Billy, Bobby, ready to stimulate the Welsh economy?

Cracking.

That, my boys, is Chateau Nerve DuPont.

Or as it's known in the wine world, the dog's bollocks.

Chateau Nerve.

Oh, yeah.

Know I well.

You don't drink wine, Billy.

You're forgetting Uncle Malcolm's engagement.

I was on it all night.

You were 15 and you ended up in A &E.

I was 15.

Anyway, this boot sells at Asda for £14 .99. I flog it to you for a fiver, you

flog it down for a tenner, you do the math, boys, it's win -win, nobody loses.

And 100 bottles are yours.

When? Who?

I'll need the cash up front to feel it. All 500.

500?

We're a catering company, you're not cowing odd bins. Let me check with the

office.

I'm busy.

Dad, clock says five for a bottle.

Clock's a petty thief with one hand bigger than the other. You're a tucker.

Haggle.

Let's haggle.

Five hundred, I'll piss off.

Fine, we're in.

Come on, get a shift on, you're late.

And remember, I've got a meeting with your headteacher after school.

I don't know what her problem is, I'm hardly there.

That's her problem.

Jack, wait up.

All right.

You know somebody put glue on this seat yesterday?

Yeah? Yeah.

Half hour I was stuck on it outside the post office.

In the end, I had to go and catch my Jerry with my pants.

I heard.

Yeah. I'm a tolerant man, all right? You know that. But I want some get strung

up and dried for this now.

My nerves are in bits now. Bits.

I'm late for school.

No, wait, hang on. Stop, please.

It's obviously a kid's prank, yeah? OK, so I need you to be my foot soldier,

yeah? Just help me, OK?

You can be my eyes, my ears, my nose to the ground, all right?

How much?

Eh? A tangle.

A tangle?

We're family. Jesus, we're family.

Tell me.

It's a quid. Get on with you.

Tenner. Tenner?

Three quid. Fiver.

Fiver. Oh.

All right, done. Just go.

Broken something, lads?

Having a recycling day, pal.

I thought your Italian stallion was supposed to move in yesterday.

Yeah, so did I. I know.

It must be hard for you.

Him not leaving his wife like he promised.

It's not that.

Constantly being his bit on the side.

I'm not his bit on the side.

Done up like a ham bone for him.

Trod on like a mat. Used and abused.

Laughing stock of the village.

Well, I'm in all day today, so if you want to pop over for a bit of cheering

you know what I am.

Yeah, thanks, Peg.

Roberto, it's me.

No, say nothing.

Just listen.

You left your watch here and some CDs.

I want my door key back.

Put it through my letterbox when you come and pick up your stuff.

It'll be in a little box outside with Dickhead written on it.

500 quid.

Do I look like Melania Trump's to you?

I say no.

It's too much money.

You should have had it, boy.

Watch me negotiate next, that loon from the master.

Trust me, I know this stuff will sell.

We all put 100 in each and I'll get you 200 back by the end of the day.

Oh, come on.

Clock's clock is ticking and we'll miss out if we don't get a waggle on.

Fine.

I'm in.

Go on, then.

My invalidity came in yesterday.

All right.

But that still leaves us under it short.

I'll go next door and ask Nat.

Oh, yeah, and your ex -wife is going to hand over a ton to you, is she? Wife?

Not ex -wife.

Not yet.

Not if I can help it.

Right, Nat?

I'm busy, Bobby.

I've come to ask you... Look at the state of that eye.

Props bare -knuckle boxing isn't for you, eh?

How the hell did you lose that one?

He was deceptive.

He was blind, Bob's.

Partially so I did.

You had to wear a bell so we'd know where you were.

You finished?

No, I need you to go and see Shakira's headteacher after school.

Why? Because it's your turn.

Fine, if it helps.

What would really help is this month's maintenance, Bob.

I'm all over that.

What's this?

A nectar card with 5 ,000 points on it.

That's 25 quid, Bob.

Anything else?

Yeah.

I was wondering if you could lend me a hundred quid.

Out.

Ten, three -twenty, three -thirty, three -forty.

Well, that's it then. We can't do it.

What about Grandpa Murphy?

He may listen to you.

You'll get toffee from a turnip if we get coin from my brother, good boy.

You could do it, Dad.

Eh? You're the great negotiator, eh?

Well, yeah.

Yeah, I'll... I'll go and see Murphy.

Want me to come with you? No.

Learn from the master?

No. No, just... No.

I'll handle this by myself.

Murphy!

Murphy!

Murphy, do you want to come in on a deal?

Can you see what I'm doing here, Glenn?

Yeah, yeah, you read it, yeah. Wrong.

I'm studying.

Studying form.

Looking for a winner to help my Peggy.

And do you know why? There we go. Cos a lazy lumber lad can't provide for his

family. Well, come now. He's not out there looking for work.

Crafting for his kin.

That's why I'm here. Now, when I was young and strong and travelled the land,

man was meant,

I'd be out from dawn till dusk to put bread on the table.

Not riding around on a little bike like a sack of shit to fiddle the social.

Come to offer you 100 quid.

Go on.

Hiya.

Yeah, what time do you finish work this afternoon?

We'll try and knock off a bit early.

You up for a night on the lash?

Yeah? That's my girl.

Yeah, see you then.

Now you listen to me, and you listen to me, girl.

I don't get that 200 tonight.

I'm going to be shoving this somewhere that'll stop you riding your little bike

ever again.

Very slowly.

Get it?

Yeah, got it.

All right. Hold it around there. Hold him out.

50.

One pound.

50.

Two pound.

50.

Three pounds?

Are you taking the pay?

I've got money, innit?

I'm not running a sweet shop, Billy.

Not my problem, Eagle.

A deal's a deal.

A ten, you say?

That's a lot.

But this is Chateauneuf.

It could be Chateauneuf. I don't sell much wine, boys.

Think of the market, my Melvin.

You'll squeeze ten glasses out of that, two quid a pop, and you'll be putting a

tenner in your back door for every bottle you flog.

Go on and give us two. Atta boy!

Go get us two crates, Bobby. Whoa there, sugar.

Who said anything about crates? Two bottles, I'll take.

Bottles?

Christ, Mel, I was counting on you. Well, you can count off me and get me

bottles. Fine.

That good, eh? That good.

I could sleep on a chicken's lip.

You're hardly rushed off your feet.

Well, that's the point.

I'm so dead during the day, I've had to take on another job.

Stripping. Stripping?

Yeah. Joined an agency.

Ain't had a booking yet.

Apparently I'm very niche.

Right.

Here's two bottles.

Just 98 to go.

Mind if we use your car park, Mel?

Go on, then.

Glenn.

I'm busy.

Got a bit of news.

About my scooter?

About our costume?

I paid you this morning.

My eyes, my ears, my nose, remember?

Yeah, but you said nothing by your mouth.

That's another fiver.

Three quid. Five. Four.

Five, I'm saving.

Spill, spill.

I spoke with some of the older kids at the school.

And? And they know nothing.

See you, love. See you, Nan.

Take it.

Want to buy some wine? It's all from 12.

This is bloody ridiculous.

Well, instead of moping about, why don't you do as I ask and try and shift some

around the shops?

Fine.

Clock.

You've got to buy some of that stock back. I really did need 100.

What stock?

The wine you no bet.

What would I be wanting to buy wine for? Can't stand that stuff. I'm a beer man.

You know that.

But... Not my problem, ego.

A deal's a deal.

We just can't shift it, Dad.

There's only one thing for it.

I'll do a door -to -door.

No.

No, please don't. You promised you stopped all that.

I was peddling before you were born, good boy.

And I'll pedal again.

It's in my blood.

Yeah, so's half a bottle of gin. Just sit down now. Leave it now.

No.

Not the shawl. Please, not the bloody shawl. No.

Just leave the shawl at the... Oh, dear God, I...

Still going to get my 200 tonight?

Yeah, of course. It's on the way up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Anyway,

what are you doing here?

You hate being inside.

No, I've come for a rag.

Going to oil my shotgun.

Never know when I'm going to need it next.

Amen.

Oh, God.

What are we going to do? I'm thinking now. Can you see me? I'm thinking here.

Thinking about you.

Oh, Jesus.

Hello, Len.

Jim Tucker.

Oh, a long time.

Oh, the boys.

Fancy a nice bottle of red?

Jesus Christ.

When you attend, eh?

I'm a vodka shot skill, you know that.

Oh, come on, man.

I only sold one bottle and I was the barrel of school secretary.

But she's in recovery.

Not anymore, she's not.

Oh, go on, then.

I'll open it for some pre -drinks with us.

Is that the one from work?

With the orange legs and the skirt up to her arse?

Yeah, that's her.

She looks like she can put it away.

Let's talk numbers.

Here we go. Here's the address.

And they bought the lot.

Like I said, boys.

Watch and learn, eh?

Watch and learn, eh?

Yeah.

So how many bottles are we talking here?

Ten? I'll have to win. We've got to show the men we united.

So let's say eight, is it?

One, I said. I tell you what, I'll do you a deal.

Four for 30 quid. Peg, it's one and it's for nothing.

Like you say, we're united, eh?

All girls together.

Hiya.

Oh.

Right.

I was lush.

She can't make it.

Under 90, under 90, 200. There we go. As promised.

Well, I must say, I'm surprised.

Why's that?

Everything your father touches turns to shit.

He's come good this time. Thanks to this Len O'Donnell bloke.

You're telling me you sold to Red Len?

Red who? Red Len O'Donnell.

Yeah, why?

There's a reason we haven't dealt with Red Len for years.

He's a dangerous man.

Relax, we're the Tuckers. We can handle things.

His sons enjoy violence.

You see, Billy?

Violence?

They hurt people for fun.

There was a bloke who was so viciously beaten.

He was six months in hospital because he sold them a microwave that didn't work.

A microwave?

Didn't have a ping on it.

A ping?

Never went ping.

Drove Len mad.

Six months?

No ping.

Right. Well, thanks for that.

Better get back to the party, like.

It's too late to move.

So I said to him, look, Roberto, you're using more bloody shampoo than I am.

His hair always smells nice, though. You've got to give him that.

It is lovely.

Lovely?

He does wonderful things with couscous, too.

He's a proper modern man.

You know, he's sensitive and... ..talented and gentle.

So you're doing the right thing, checking him out?

There we are. One bottle left.

Time to celebrate with a little drop of shat.

Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Down the hatch.

Up yours.

This is going to get a pit spot.

It's wet, isn't it?

Red Lynn, please don't tell me you've sold to that psycho.

Psycho? Yeah.

He had a bloke smashed up once because he didn't have a ping. Ping? You bought

this cat's free from Clark?

I've tried it out.

Are you telling me that rather than give me maintenance, you've given money to a

man in a lock -up with one hand bigger than the other?

Right.

I'm going to sort this now.

But you can't just... Shut it, wine boy.

Peg, you old defaulter.

You, with me, now.

You seen Clark?

Oh, I seen him, all right.

He had a belly full of beer, which he paid for with a load of 50p's, and

booking an holiday on his phone.

Happy as a pig in muck he was.

Billy?

Yeah.

Yeah, I understand.

Red Lens on his way up the valley.

Sit down!

He said he'd be here by five.

Can't we just give him the cash back?

This is Red Lens, Bobby.

It's not about the money. His pride has been damaged.

He thinks we're taking the mick. He's going to go total tonto, isn't he? When

rang, he said he wanted the two gormless gets that sold him the stuff.

And the fat, useless lump that put him up to it.

Does he know how ill I've been?

That's not fat.

Tension, that is. Tension!

Let's hide in the club for a bit.

That's the first place you look. Okay.

That'll be the second.

I'll cover for you, but you'll have to find somewhere he doesn't know. Does he

know he's married?

Tell me you're joking me.

Bobby Kitchen!

What the hell do you think you're doing bringing trouble for this house?

Sorry.

I want you to know that I... It's all right, Dad. It's not your fault.

Totally owed you responsible for this mess we're in. Me?

Yep. What the hell were you doing buying from Clark?

He told me he got it from a reputable source.

Yes, who?

Harry Oneball.

Harry Oneball is a scaffolder with one ball.

What the hell does he know about fine wine?

One ball!

Jesus.

Harry Oneball.

You look nice, by the way.

Don't start, Bobby.

You're doing the right thing, Nats.

It's nothing to do with you.

But he'll never leave his wife for you.

You don't know him.

I know he's using you.

And it breaks my heart.

Anyway, how was the meeting with Shakira's headteacher?

Huh? The meeting?

You promised you'd go straight after school.

Oh, that.

Yeah, that.

That was fine.

And? What was that?

Just that, er... You know, it's all been sorted now.

What's been sorted?

You know, the thing that it was. It's been sorted.

Seems like a nice block.

Oh, that's interesting.

Yeah, because when I spoke to him at 8 o 'clock this morning, he seemed like a

nice woman.

Had a sex change, has he?

I didn't go.

One thing I asked you to do.

One thing.

You know, it must be me. I must speak funny. Because when I said go and see

Shakira's teacher, you obviously heard, go and flog some piss to a nutter.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Redlands next door.

You know it's nothing personal, Peg.

I know that, Len.

Come in.

I can't do it.

I can. Me too.

He's saying it's not with Nan. It's with us.

Especially the fat, thick and useless one.

The bloke's a disgrace.

He's talking about you now, Dad.

Well, I see, Len.

They're not here, and I don't know where they are. I saw you about a bit of a

wasted journey.

Oh, I don't know.

I saw Glyn's scooter's parked next door.

Well, I had to use it.

What if somebody shot me to the social?

Leg it.

Shit. Come

on,

boys. Let's face them.

Come on, Tucker. You've been asked to do it.

It's got nothing to do with it. Don't touch me. Move it.

Len.

Murphy.

You got a problem?

Looks that way.

Come inside.

Just me and you.

Too late for that.

My family's been taken for mugs.

My boys are going to take it out on those two and jabber the gut there.

If they lay a finger on any of them, I'll have the filthier so quick they'll

popping their roids in the big eggs for the next five years.

We're small, Frasier.

But I'm sure if they started to look into your dealings, who knows what

find, eh?

Like I said, Len, why do you never step inside?

We'd sort this all out.

Huh?

You're a good man, Len.

Billy, fetch Mr.

O'Donnell's money.

He's for him.

You'll be lucky, Jack.

Get the car.

We're going home.

See?

Nobody's getting hurt.

But the wine stays with them.

Why? It tastes like vinegar.

And apparently he's got a contact group by it. Takes any old shit.

Ari, someone.

Ari, one more.

That's it.

Ari.

Effie.

Thanks. Sorry about today, Nan.

What's that?

I feel like I let everyone down, like.

Hey, don't you ever talk yourself down.

You're a tucker.

You were trying to make some money for the family, that's all.

But I bought it up.

Aye, you did that.

But we're fine.

We live to fight another day, yeah?

Night, ma 'am.

Night, love.

Sorry about the meeting with your administrator.

Don't worry about it. Well, at least you were there.

Good kid.

Proud of you.

Ta, I'm off for a cheese.

It's going to snake.

Ma 'am, it's Roberto.

Thanks.

Bloody hell, Roberto's next door.

He's there to collect the stuff.

Natalie's talking with him.

See the way he handled that today?

Still cares about me, see?

He's old in his face now.

We've got a lot of history.

You can't just write that off.

They've gone inside.

The way he looked at me today.

There's still something between us.

I can feel it.

There's something there.

Roberto!

Roberto! Roberto!

Yeah.

There's something there, all right, Bob.