Original subtitles

The Rit and the Ruthless brought to you by Trigger and Tramble and the WNB

Network, delivering truth, not fluff.

We keep you clinging to a cliff while inspiring you during commercials to keep

your laundry white and those chocolate cakes moist.

20 years of aspirational escapism from your own damn dirty problems.

I know this recovery's been hard for you, Daddy, but I hope I haven't let you

down. No, you've been a bright spot, sweetheart.

Max, I thought I told you in no uncertain terms were Randall and Allison

allowed back on my show.

All that matters is that you're back to the show full time, all right? And so

how are things on set today?

Rough.

It's all lit.

Never mind.

And you have to keep all of your doctor's appointments as scheduled.

About that, I don't like that Dr. Cooper. Every time she came to the

just got the willy that I think Daddy should get a second opinion. Okay, let's

change the subject.

Good idea.

Hey, Max, what happened to the one -take policy on the show, huh?

Folks are getting two and three takes a day.

Honey, I know we're in a tight budget, but where's the art in one take?

I mean, Kubrick, 60 takes. Fincher, 50 takes. And Clint Eastwood, one take. I'm

with Clint.

It's funny, Daddy.

Only vacation I ever got was on that damn hospital bed.

The ratings slip again this week?

Yeah, I keep telling her.

But, Daddy, I can't control the networks with a DC preemption.

Well, I said no excuses.

Which is why Mom put me in charge.

And, of course, Dad, I care about your well -being, too.

That's touching, son.

But no need to worry. I'm back in charge now.

And what's up with that crying kid storyline?

I wrote that stuff nearly 20 years ago. It also was retread. Max, what Daddy's

trying to say is that we need to make some fresh, new, original material.

Okay, Shonda Rhimes, I'll get right on it.

Look, you need to tell me that my CIA kidnap storyline with Calista and

ain't killing it. The fans love my amnesia storyline.

Thanks for writing that for Mommy, honey. Anytime. That's right. But, Mom,

got to stop telling Lyft drivers that you give them roles in the show.

All right.

Max, you're supposed to write the whole show.

Maeve's complaining she's been reduced to a glorified extra.

And then there's Willie and Phillip I have to worry about.

Kalista's the only one who's not calling me complaining.

Dad, what do you expect when I'm the only one right on the show?

Okay, I can't spill all my good ink on the soap anyway.

Have all the prospects.

Like what?

Like what?

Forget about it. Listen, Dad, why can't we just bring Kate Ball back in and

write? Because she sued me for reverse racism. That's why. Oh, God. I knew this

was a bad idea.

Okay, that's my cheat egg. I'm going to go run my line.

It'll be all right, Daddy.

I hope so, darling.

Hi, Gran.

Oh, hey, Sugar. I sure wish I was there to help you decorate your place.

Oh, baby, and I love this tablet you sent Grandma.

I know, but Ivy's been amazing.

Where you say she from again?

Gran, does it matter?

She reminds me of myself.

Did you get the money I sent?

Baby, I sure did.

But your trifling cousin Leroy been coming over my house to use my water

wash that hearse. You know, the one that he play off like a real limousine.

Yeah, Gran, I know the one. And you need to tell Leroy to stop running up your

water bill, especially when I'm the one paying for it.

I know, baby, and I'm going to take care of it.

Now, what's going on with my story?

I see they got you chained up in that old nasty dungeon.

Are they feeding my baby?

Gran, it's not real.

And don't ask me what's going to happen next.

Not even an itsy -bitsy sneak preview?

Sorry, Gran.

Well, you tell Mr. Barringer that I said that I am happy that he brought back my

original Willie.

Because that Jamaican fella, I couldn't understand him half the time.

Yeah, well, the fans really loved him, so they'll probably bring him back as

another character.

I don't know. We shall see.

Okay, Gran. Well, I gotta go.

I love you.

Love you too, precious.

Here he is, here he is.

Sir, I told Willie to come see you, but, um... But what? It's a delicate medical

matter, sir.

I've had experience with this sort of thing, and it took hours to resolve.

You know, my friend Morty, um, he ended up in the emergency room.

What? You get him on set or else.

Yes, sir. No, no, not you, Cory. I need to talk to you.

Oh, OK. Go for it. Get him.

Go, go, go.

That last painting of yours killed it on the black market.

You sling paint like your daddy.

I can't say I'm proud of it, sir. No, no, look at it this way.

It's a skill you can always fall back on.

Well, tell that to my dad who's in prison for art forgery.

Or to my mom who had to raise me alone. Or, I mean, she lost the house.

She lost her proper practice.

She lives with me now, and she has to work at Jefferson General for lower pay.

Yes, well, I must say I was surprised when she showed up in my hospital room

months ago. It hasn't been easy, sir. Well, not to worry. Your mom is very

resourceful. She always lands on her feet.

I hope so.

Yeah.

I think she's been on edge lately because my dad's getting out of prison

What?

He's getting released early on good behavior.

Really? Yeah, but... Like my mom says, once a cucumber becomes pickle, can't go

back to being a cuke.

All right.

I'll go get Willie.

Yeah, yeah, do that.

No,

I'm going through a medical catastrophe.

Mr. Turner, my name is Ivy, and I was wondering if... Ooh, if it ain't Lil'

Rodney.

What was the script, Mr. Turner? Ooh, Mr. Turner.

I like that. I like that. You can drop by. I mean, you can drop off a script

anytime you want to. Also, Mr. Barringer wants to see you, Willie.

Nope. Last time he said that, cut my pay by 50%. Well, you got my boombox, man.

Yes, of course I do. Okay, you know, I got to have my music. I miss my music.

Well, I got to go do my thing right now. Nice meeting you, Ivy.

You too, Mr. Turner. Yeah.

Also, the batteries were $849.

That's Willie.

No,

Grant, I need to call you back, okay?

Okay, I love you. All right, bye. Sorry.

Wow, your place is amazing.

Yeah, thank you.

Come on in.

I just moved in not that long ago, so...

I'm loving it. Thank you so much for your help today, Ivy. No problem. You

I hope that I get a place like this one day. And you will. Hard work. You got

it. Where are you from?

Everywhere, actually.

What does that mean?

My dad was in the military, but he died in Afghanistan.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

So right before he died, we spent most of our time in Boston.

Yeah? What about your mom?

Hmm.

Yeah, I was raised by my grandma Jones in Mississippi.

Come on in here.

Have a seat.

So, when did you start on Rich and Ruthless?

About your age, probably.

Yeah. Yeah, about your age.

You know, Ivy, I need you to be really careful with the people out here in L

There are some very, very shady people, and I need you to be all right.

And if you need anything, call me. Okay. I mean that.

Okay? Thank you again for making the trek up to the house, Tamara. We really

appreciate it. No problem. I know we have to get this cast. Yes.

This is redundant.

I'm telling you, Leanna's a girl. Even when she aced her audition.

She was worse than Leanna. I watched the tape. She played cheap. And she had the

nerve to bring that little ankle biter to the audition. What?

Mm -hmm.

What's wrong with babies?

This role is very important to future storyline.

Most of Liliana's credits have been, how shall I say, performances of the

burlesque variety.

And now with a little ankle biter on her nipple.

I just don't see it.

Okay, listen, what's her name? Felicia Rashard. She didn't have any credits

she got on her first soap either.

Look, I'm telling you, Liliana is our girl.

Guess that last lap dance was a real doozy.

I don't need a lap dance.

What I want's within reach.

Ooh, do I know her? Enough!

Look, I don't have time for fantasy gossip, so let's settle this once and

all. You may think that you're the boss of me, Max, but make no mistake, I'm the

HVIC.

Meeting's over.

Later, Tamara.

Later, Tamara.

I need to call Gran back because she worries.

Lord, does the woman worry me. I can't.

While I'm doing that, if you don't mind, if you could just put the groceries

away. Sure. And then we can run lines for the show tomorrow.

Okay. And I'll give you a tour of the rest of the place later.

Okay. But if you need anything, the bathroom's over there.

Sounds good. Okay. Thank you.

All right. See what's going on with Gran.

Hey, Gran.

Hey, I'm sorry I had to jump off earlier.

That's okay, baby.

I know how busy you Hollywood folks are.

Oh, Gran, I got a new assistant.

Part -time, of course, but, you know. Isn't that great?

Did you run a police check?

You can't be too careful.

Oh, Gran, you watch one too many cop shows.

How are you?

Well, to be honest, I've been very upset lately.

What's wrong, Gran?

Well, if my story keeps being preempted by them ignorant imps in Washington, D

.C., day after day, girl, I don't know what I'm going to do.

I look forward to seeing you on my program.

And when I miss it, it's like parts of me is missing something inside.

I guess that's because I've been watching the program so long. You know,

my day on the rich and the ruthless.

Sure enough.

Yeah, and it's like family.

You know, that's what keeps your grandma company, if that makes any sense.

I agree. It makes perfect sense, actually.

Hey, baby, how's that Derek?

Oh, he's good. Yeah, he sent me a beautiful, beautiful orchid.

I miss him. I miss him so much.

He's in Louisiana right now shooting a miniseries. Oh, I knew something had

happened because them aliens had snatched that boy up quick and in a

Now, baby, is he going to be back on my program?

He going to be back on there, right? Yeah, yeah, he's coming back, Gran. But,

you know, while he's gone, it's given me some time to work on me.

You know, shed some guilt, some regret.

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Oh, now, now, baby.

No, I'm serious, Gran.

I think maybe that's why I always try to find someone to hide behind, you know?

Shut on my real feelings.

I'm just tired of pretending like everything's okay, and it's not.

And Augustus... Then there's a lot of drama on set.

Our new network CEO, Larry Savinar, came by, which never happens. That was

completely weird, but I hope everything's okay.

Well, I'm going through drama here with my sugar again.

Gran, I thought the doctor told you you have to take your medicine.

I know what she said, but that don't mean the woman is right.

You know, I was reading in one of them magazines where cinnamon sticks will

regulate your blood sugar.

Child, I went over to Mr.

Patterson's grocery store and I got me some.

I wanted to get me one of them salmon steaks, though, but, well, I guess I got

to wait on that pension check.

Grand. Well, if Jesus could feed the multitudes off of two fish, I guess I

feed my little old self off of that measly check.

Grant, I'll send you some money through Western Union tomorrow, okay? Oh, thank

you, Jesus.

I appreciate it, baby. I just love you to pieces, pumpkin.

Grant, I love you more, but you got to hang up the phone first this time, okay?

Hang up the phone, Grant.

All right, baby.

Oh, Lord. Thank you, Jesus. That baby going to send me that money, and I'm

to be all right.

Are you serious?

Oh, my gosh. This is amazing.

Are you sure you haven't done this before?

No, ma 'am. Uh -huh. Oh, then I need to thank the rich and the ruthless for

giving me IV because this is everything.

Well, thank you. And I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to run you a hot

bubble bath, and it should be the perfect temperature by the time you

eating.

I'm a fat dog.

It's like you fell out of heaven in my life right when I needed you the most.

Oh, my gosh. No problem. And, um, if you want, maybe we can run lines before

tomorrow's show.

Yeah. Yeah. That would be perfect.

Hey, you're sure you haven't done this before?

No, ma 'am. Military dad, right?

Okay. Yeah. And, um... Oh, yeah. I just want you to be taken care of.

You have no idea what an impression you made on me.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

I heard you say, ma 'am, earlier. I thought you were from Boston.

Oh, my dad's family. They're from the South. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. It's a very

Southern thing. That I understand.

All right. Well, I'm going to consume the salad, drink every bit of this wine.

Do not judge me.

I have earned it.

And then I'm going to luxuriate in that bath that you're drawing for me, and

then we can run some lines.

Okay. Sounds good. Thank you. I'm going to run you back. Thanks, Ivy.

Every bit of this wine.

Every bit.

Oh, God.

Thank you, God, for our show.

Amen.

So,

no one said anything about my table.

It's beautiful, Mommy.

As I was saying, I got zero writing credit from those fools 25 years ago.

They had the nerve to pay me cash under the table and then ran up on stage and

took the awards off of my work.

Dad, we heard the story a million times.

Well, I'm going to keep telling it so you all don't forget it, especially you,

Mac. Nothing in this life is free.

All this splendor you live in took work. Right, Kitty?

Absolutely, darling.

Problem is, I don't know if you kids have what it takes to grab generational

wealth by the horns and build on it.

Daddy, how can you say that? I've been with the company from the minute I got

out of college. It isn't fair.

Just like it isn't fair that Mom gave Mac co -executive producer credit.

Darling, I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt, but I wanted all things to be fair

and equal with the both of you as producers. And darling, no, our children

not walked a country mile to get to school, but they're still very hard

all the same.

Exactly. Thanks, Mom.

Well, it's true. I think you kids are going to take the show to new and

heights. I mean, excite. And speaking of exciting, guess who I saw?

Bobby.

Who's that?

There are parents of Tricker and Tramble who are presenting sponsors.

That Bobby.

So I saw him at the network. He asked if you were in town. Of course I said yes,

and I volunteered you for an industry party tonight.

Mommy, how could you do that?

We've been talking about this for a long time, and you have to get married.

You're getting older, and I want you to marry someone in the business to support

you. How progressive of me, Mother.

I can't believe you two.

I think it'll be a good match for you, personally and professionally, Veronica.

The Tramble family are billionaires.

With a B.

Veronica Tramble?

Doesn't even have a good ring to it. Who asked you? Besides, I'm not attracted

to Bobby in that way, Danny.

Everyone doesn't marry for love, honey.

Do you hear yourselves?

The guy wants to take her to a party and y 'all have him walking down the aisle.

Hush, Matt.

Why do you always have to go against the grain, huh?

Because I'm not you.

I tried, remember?

And then you squashed every idea I presented to you. You mean all those get

-rich -quick schemes that failed miserably?

Take your meds.

I'm sorry, who flunked out of Morehouse with a paternity test over his head

costing us hundreds of thousands of dollars?

Damn lie.

Veronica. What? It's true.

Where were we? Oh, right.

An arranged marriage for the good of our company?

Right. So as I was saying, these types of marriages, they happen all the time.

Especially on this level.

Well, I'll think about it. In the meantime, I'll get ready for Bobby.

That girl.

Try not to be rude to him, honey. You know how you can get on your high horse.

I'll be nice, Daddy.

I promise.

Without Trigger and Tramble, we wouldn't be in this house.

The turgid game is dirty.

Oh, so now you have a conscience?

All I'm saying is, I'm going to do me, and this ain't it.

I'm trying to do me. Well, you better get to doing it, and quick.

Because you haven't inherited anything yet. I got this.

That would be nice, Barry.

Had to be done.

We're going upstairs.

Run lines.

And don't forget, tonight's our fucking Broadway night.

Can we take a rain check on that tonight?

Yeah, sure.

Also, did a crate arrive?

Mm -hmm. I had it put down in the basement. Don't be long. I'm going to

for you.

I'll be up a little later.

It's a masterpiece.

Corey exceeded expectations.

Now, you let me worry about that.

You just get this painting sold.

And one more thing.

Something has to happen to the boy's mother, Maya Cooper.

She's a problem. She wants to cut.

It sounds like a plan.

Tell your bidders the painting will be hanging in the bedroom set three weeks

from today.

All right, good.

All right,

Bobby. Let's do this.

Max!

I never asked you for a damn penny or promise. You're lucky your show wasn't

axed after the first half hour. I found your diary.

I'm not willing to sacrifice my life for yours.

Sorry. Cut.

It's sperm. For the last time, someone stole my sperm, not perm.

Cut. We're going to be back on top in no time.

There's something that I've been wanting to tell you for a while now. Yeah, me

too. You could be a big, big deal. I don't know if this is going to work.

Goodbye.