Original subtitles

The Rit and the Ruthless, brought to you by Cricker and Cramble and the WNB

Network, delivering truth, not fluff.

We keep you clinging to a cliff while inspiring you during commercials to keep

your laundry white and those chocolate cakes moist.

20 years of aspirational escapism from your own damn dirty problems.

I am just getting warmed up. Hair, makeup, wardrobe, let's go.

Woo, I know that things are moving quicker in soap opera these days. I know

one take thing, but not with Kitty Berenger.

Oh no, we're talking about Blue Cilla here.

Yep, here we go. It's good, isn't it?

Okay, I'm ready.

Take two.

So what do you think of my return performance on the show?

I think I better get my ass out of this lumpy hospital bed before my show gets

canceled. Excuse me?

You should be sick after all that scenery chewing.

I will have you know that TV Guide magazine said my return on the show was

tour de force.

Yeah, it was a tour de something.

And by the way, Kitty, that was pretty low down the way you muscled your way

back on the show while I'm here fighting for my life. Oh, now who's chewing the

scenery? And bye -bye.

It took a lot to get your butt back on our jet in Jamaica and back to L .A.

Thank you, dear. You're a dutiful wife.

Yes, I am. Thank you.

You should also thank Veronica.

She's the one that found the studio space in Burbank where we've been

Now we don't have to shoot out of our house.

I mean, if you sneeze on the set, they'll blow over, but it'll do.

How long was I out before you started plotting your return to The Rich and the

Ruthless? You fully knew I was returning to the show. Quit it. Yes, and I

forbade it. Oh, okay, Henry VIII.

Clearly you forgot that it was my father who put up the money to save Richard

and Ruthless years ago. And then Daddy signed over his share, which instantly

made me 50 % partner.

Look at all these flowers you got from everyone. Who sent you this?

I think someone from the show.

Do they smell good?

They're artificial, Augustus, and they're from my funeral scene.

I'm worried about you. You need to eat something.

I'm not hungry. I wouldn't eat this crap if they paid me.

You should still eat something.

I'm worried about Veronica, too.

Poor thing.

She's really overwhelmed, trying to run the show. And then she's got the

American Ballet Theater Gala in New York. And then she's got the

Maxine Water Breakfast. And then the licensing deal in India.

She should keep her Berenger butt here in L .A. and concentrate on running our

show so we don't get canceled.

Oh, we're not getting canceled, honey. Not after my performances.

Mm -mm.

I actually saw a crew weep.

Bet I know why.

Mm -hmm. I worked my scenes to death, honey. I know you did.

I had no choice but to put myself back on full contract.

Told the writers, yes, I told the writers, get cracking. Because this

our next NAACP, our next Emmy, our next Fuzzy, ISAA. Oh, our next Nymph Award.

And Monte Carlo, can you see us standing next to Prince Albert and Monte Carlo?

I can.

You better hope they finish your storyline before the strike.

What strike?

You want to call yourself a partner and you don't even know what's going on in

the industry we do business in?

The right is strike, Kitty.

If our hack writers walk, there won't be anyone to write your next tour de

force.

Hey, Berenger.

It's your lucky day.

Someone posted Bond.

Oh, honey, no, I so appreciate the update.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

He's definitely... Yeah, he's definitely on the upswing.

Mm -hmm.

All right, honey, call me when you land in India.

Bye.

What did she say? She said that she loves you, not Tori, and this whole

-to -strike thingy is blown out of proportion.

Variety Hollywood reporter deadline. I'll say the strike could hit any

I love our daughter, but she's naive, and so are you.

Donnie, any vestige of naivete was ripped from me being married to you all

years. Knock, knock.

It's your friendly neighborhood network executive.

I just wanted to stop by and see how her star showrunner's doing.

What are you doing here?

I just told you, I heard the sad news and I rushed right over.

How are you? She could pass security.

Aren't I extended family?

Not blood, of course, but I was very concerned when I heard the news. Let's

let's go.

I don't want to... I can't concede you just show up here after that stunt you

pulled. I'll have you know that was all Randall's idea trying to force Augustus

to sell the soap to the network.

Isn't that why Augustus fired him?

Yes, and I thought they fired you too. Me?

Are you kidding me? The network loves me. Bigly.

I can't really talk about it right now, but I have a new show airing. Felony

Bachelorette. Primetime, baby. Oh, and the network decided to keep me on as

of daytime television.

Isn't that fantastic?

No, but it's typical.

Hi, Augustus. How are you? Good. You got my ribs, man? Yes, I sure do. Right

here. Mississippi. Mount Warren.

Georgia Juicy.

Delta Deep South Delicious Bama Barbecue. Bam, bam, bam, bam.

Spicy, just like you like them. Just give me the damn ribs, ma 'am. Listen,

Kitty, since we're going to be working together again, I think it's time we

buried the hatchet. I am only here because I am genuinely concerned about

Augustus' well -being. Sure you are.

Beef and pork. I paid $12 .99.

Yes, sir.

Now, let me set you up, Mr. Barringer, so you don't get one drop of this

spicy, red, gooey barbecue sauce all over your bedding.

If memory serves me correctly, Willie, you had a parole violation to handle,

you didn't want to take the pay cut anyway.

Oh, Mr.

B, now, that's cold blooded how you did that right there. I feel bad about that.

Now, I know. I acted a fool. I acted out when you cut. But look here, I need my

money, okay? I don't own none of this stuff. All this is rental, okay? And for

you to just slash my price and bring in a Jamaican? Come on.

Can't nobody act Willie Turner like Willie Turner to be or not.

You're going to keep running your mouth like a bell clapper or am I going to

starve to death here?

That's what I'm talking about.

I need it.

All too many times. How aging showrunners they implode after they

down, down, down the hill. You don't want to risk Augustus being seen in

diapers on oxygen on a hover round, do you? The show will suffer.

Audience will just tune out.

Maybe it's time Augustus retire.

Don't you worry about my husband. We'll be running the rich and the ruthless

long after you've pitched your last tired reality show.

We'll see about that, won't we?

Need a cup of coffee.

Oh, I made you some greens, Mr. B. But Willie wouldn't want to bring them.

Kale.

Don't worry, I took care of that. Now, we can talk about me getting my job,

but... Augustus, I'm the one that really needs your help. It's just been

unbearable to show without you. And the only right spot in my career was being

mistaken by Kellyanne Conway at the Berry Goldwater Chili Cook -Off and

Race in Arizona.

Ruer? Mm -hmm.

But Veronica still has not made the writers bring back my badass character,

Ciccatelli, out of her coma.

It's just a total waste of my talent. And I only worked twice last month. I

mean, how long... am I going to have to be punished for?

Until you admit it was you who spread those stupid rumors to TMZ about

and I having that damn affair.

For the bazillionth time, I swear it wasn't me.

You know, I think it was Allison.

That bitch hates Callista.

Seriously. Now, I don't necessarily like Callista, but I don't have a voodoo

doll likeness of her in my dressing room like Allison does.

What? Mm -hmm. Oh, you didn't know about that, boss? Oh, yeah. Allison's family

is deep, deep, deep, way deep south. I think like Louisiana.

They got the Geechies and the Bayou and Creoles and alligators. Oh, and let me

tell you something. She's deep into that black magic. Oh, I wouldn't cross her

if I were you.

Come think about it, I wouldn't be surprised if she put a little gitchy

you, give you this medical setback for firing my man.

Get out of here with that mess. You two are crazy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm

going to enjoy my ribs.

Oh, Pam, what is this Grand Central? How did you two get in here?

Well, you know, the nurses and security love the show. They watch it all the

time. Big fan. How did you get past security? Answer the question.

How you doing, Kitty?

Don't hide, Kitty. I know you're the leaker.

What?

OMG, I swear on my sign, make America great a t -shirt, I did not leak

to TMZ.

Why doesn't anyone believe me?

You all suck.

What's that smell?

Oh, that's just my cologne.

Ribs, Augustus, really?

Oh, how do I get in here?

Oh, calm down, kitty.

I haven't had anything but prunes and still oats. Little ribs won't hurt.

Come on, you know you want a bite with your bougie self.

Go and get something. It's be while they're all hot and juicy and succulent.

Okay, now, where were we?

Willie, get out and let me talk to my wife alone.

Yeah. But when are we going to talk about me getting back on the show? We'll

talk later.

Well, that sounds pretty, I don't know, unappreciative. I mean, you're not going

to say thank you for the ribs or maybe, you know, give me one of them or, you

know, damn, I'd spend a lot of money on them right there. Maybe two cards and

everything. People don't appreciate nothing around here.

Oh, my God.

Darling, I think we may need to think about hiring some scab writers.

A strike would be just the Trojan horse that either of them in the network could

gallop in on.

I already have that handled.

Oh.

Did somebody say they needed a writer?

My baby is home.

You look great.

Can't say the same for the old man.

What the hell is he doing here?

Lord, you too, Dad.

Don't call me that.

Now, honey, Max is here to help us. I sent for him.

You did what? You heard me. We needed an excellent writer. Why not our son?

No. You said yourself that Max was one of the best writers you'd ever read,

better than yourself.

That was before his unforgivable behavior.

Let it go.

We're moving on as a family and with Max.

I wouldn't trust him to write my grocery list, much less my soap opera. Well,

you're in no position to make any decisions right now, and I am, and I'm

an executive decision.

Is that a fact?

Yes, it is. Look, Mom, Mom, this is a bad idea.

He obviously hasn't changed.

I'm out.

You're not going anywhere.

Oh, no, you owe me.

You're going to pay me back every red cent. Who do you think got the attorney

and bailed you out of jail? No, you're going to stay here in Los Angeles, and

you're going to write the mess out of the rich and the ruthless until your

father can get back on his feet.

No more hot checks. Do you understand me?

Yes, ma 'am.

Hot checks?

I knew you were up to no good.

I guess your little production company ran out of steam making those little

cheap direct -to -DVD porn flicks.

Biggest disappointment of my life.

Well, I wasn't looking for any Father of the Year nominations from you either.

Don't think I won't get out of... Hey, bring it, old man! Stop it!

Listen to me.

This family was nearly ripped apart a decade ago over some stupid teenage

indiscretion. Is that what you're calling? That's what it was, right, Max?

Yeah. Look, we were just, I don't know, kids being kids.

It was a million years ago.

Yeah. How do you think Veronica's gonna feel when she learns her mother went

behind her back and asked her brother to come back home and run the show?

Veronica's a businesswoman, okay?

She knows her strengths. She knows that she's not a writer. That's where Max

comes in.

And don't go anywhere near my books.

Last thing I need is for you to pull something shady while I can't keep an

on you. Augustus, really.

Forget it, Mom.

You stopped me in his approval years ago.

You know what?

I'm starved. How about we go to the cafeteria and get something to eat so

your father can rest and think about things?

I love you.

Sounds good. I'm in.

I'm going to take your time.

I'm going to have the most rest of the damn day.

Hello, Augusta.

It's been a long time.

What's going on?

Wait, what's going on?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Berenger, you can't go in there right now. What do you mean I

can't go in right now? What's going on? What happened to my father? I don't

understand. That's an hour ago. I understand your shock, but your father

very sick man.

These many strokes that he's been suffering from have just been

major episode like the one he just experienced.

Oh, my God. It's weakening his heart.

Does that mean he's... No, Mrs. Berenger.

We are doing everything in our power to provide the best care to your husband,

to your father. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to fast -track his last test.

Thank you, Dr. Cooper.

Mrs. Berenger, you don't need to thank me.

I want to see that Mr. Berenger gets the treatment he deserves.

Excuse me.

I can't lose your father.

I can't lose him.

Don't worry, Mom.

You're not going to lose him, I promise.

Go to the chapel with me, son, please.

I did.

I made the appointment and everything.

But I couldn't destroy

what...

You're out there somewhere.

Please forgive me for keeping the secret from you.

I... I just needed to come clean so I could move on

before you...

You can feel it burning bright.

One together by the firelight in a

private shadow show.

Just as long as you see me to be my dear.