Original subtitles

For the past few years, I've been travelling the world, visiting unlikely

tourist destinations and making friends. Dad!

From Albania to... Dad!

Mate, I'm just... I'm filming something.

Dad! I'm filming something.

Can you give me five minutes?

For the past few years, I've been travelling the world, from Albania to

Zimbabwe... From the Arctic to the Sahara.

Now I'm getting in touch with the people I met from around the... Can somebody

get the doorbell, please?

Guys!

Visiting unlikely tourist destinations and making friends.

From Albania to Zimbabwe, from the Sahara to the... The doorbell!

Guys!

And making friends.

From the Sahara to the Arctic.

I'm not going to crap into a bin bag. I'm not a fox.

Now, I'm getting back in touch with the people I met around the world to find

out how they're getting on.

You, Rom. Hi, Rom.

Hey, mate.

Hey.

Showing lots of unseen bits.

I'm a fan. Yes, mate.

Sweet.

And checking to see how the countries have changed since my last visit.

Dad, there's someone at the door for you.

All right, OK, it's the best of. All right, loads of unseen material, loads

new bits.

It's the best of. Best of misadventures. All right, let's go.

It's definitely for me.

Are we actually calling this Misadventures for my sofa? Because we

actually use the sofa because of the kids.

Don't worry about it.

Who are you calling first?

Well, today I'm going to be calling Bobo from the Sahara and Skenda from Bosnia.

But we are going to start with Chipo from Zimbabwe.

One of my favourite people. A teacher in Harare. And also a great ego boost for

a comedian because she laughs maniacally.

at absolutely everything, including deep, deep tragedy.

So I'm looking forward to speaking to her.

Heading to Zimbabwe, almost everything I'd ever heard about the country had

negative.

Robert Mugabe, racial tension, Cecil Rhodes, white farmers being evicted.

And if that wasn't all horrific enough, you'll now have to watch me take my top

off.

To my mind, it was a no -go zone, a place where Brits hadn't been travelling

might not even be welcome.

My host, Chipo, was determined to set me straight.

I wanted to start at the country's prime tourist destination, Victoria Falls.

That was graceful, wasn't it?

See, but it's unbelievable.

Oh, my Lord.

Cheapo! Ron, hello!

Hello!

How are you?

I'm good, thanks. It's lovely to see you. Where are you right now? I mean, I

know you're in a house, but I assume that's your home.

This is, yes, this is our home. Is this a new thing, this home?

This home is, yeah, it's a new thing. And also my body is changing because I

six months along now.

Congratulations, man. This is amazing.

This is, I wish I had seen you. I'm not pregnant or anything.

I'm so sorry.

I've got nothing for you.

So, Chipo, did you, did you, and listen, don't feel you have to, you're under

any pressure here.

Did you watch the show?

I did.

I did.

Our first act.

upon arriving in Zimbabwe was to leave Zimbabwe immediately.

It's

a great,

it's a bold first move as tours of Zimbabwe go.

Yeah.

I mean, after that, we did go back to the Zimbabwe side and look from there

it does, fair play, have a great view of Victoria Falls.

So we're about to see the polls.

Okay.

So you want a reaction from me, don't you? Yes, I do.

Drink it in.

The view from Zimbabwe was equally impressive, but unfortunately, equally

TV programme just reads as repetitive.

So we didn't feature it in the original show.

If I wasn't looking at one of the natural wonders of the world, I'd have

the whole thing was a complete waste of time.

I know.

I know.

In all seriousness, though, it is shit.

No, I'm joking.

It's great, right?

It is incredible.

So where's the devil's pool?

Right there.

We'll see.

It looks really dangerous.

It really, like, from this angle, like, we looked crazy.

It's making me angry with the people that allowed us to do it earlier.

It looks so dangerous.

Does it piss you off when people just come to the pools and then go again?

Um, we have thousands of people that come, and they only come here, and then

they leave. No offense to the pool, but they're missing out on a whole lot more

that you'll get to see.

Okay, I'm in. Cool. Yeah.

Three high fives.

Feels too soon.

Okay. Good.

Loaded.

Were you happy with how Zimbabwe came across in that show?

I was. I was really happy. And I think what I was worried about was

it's amazing when you come from a certain part of the world and in a very

time you suddenly become an ambassador or the face of the place.

When the thing comes out, you're hoping, you're hoping and hoping that it came

out right. And I loved it. I especially appreciated the feedback from the people

that matter to me. And random people were like.

Oh, my gosh. I saw you on the show. Well done. Thank you so much.

Yeah, I got feedback as well. And I've got to be honest with you, I wasn't

with all of it. For example, a lot of the feedback was, Cheapo seems like

a better host than you, Ramesh.

I found Cheapo funnier than you.

Cheapo deserves her own show. You should continue doing the misadventures with

Cheapo. Just shit like that.

Do you know what I mean? And I'll be honest with you, what it did for me

slightly was it turned what felt like a positive experience at the time into

what felt to me a clear attempt by you to sabotage what I've worked so hard to

build, you know?

When I'm feeling low, I always go to Sylvester.

Sylvester, Sylvester, I mean, the cheater ambassador, what an

experience that was.

We had been taken to see Sylvester, the cheetah ambassador.

If you're wondering what a cheetah ambassador is, he's a cheetah who acts

ambassador for animal conservation.

His job was to strut around the national park looking regal and impressing

tourists. Think of him as a regular ambassador, but with four legs and no

Ferrero Rocher.

You notice he does the sound that he's just making briefly.

He does that when he's content and comfortable.

Hey, guys.

Ooh, that was crazy.

Sylvester, it turns out, moves very, very slowly unless I am anywhere near

Because as soon as Cheapo and I sat down to give him a stroke, he moved his head

very, very quickly, which caused the immediate arrival of a turtle head into

shorts.

That's... Just peed a little. That was unfortunate for my pants.

We're going to back away now.

Yeah.

I've got to be honest with you. Now, even if we get in the vehicle, he will

able to track me because I've shat myself.

So, oh, I'm sad that I brought up Suvis. He died, Ramesh.

He really did. Like, he was attacked.

It was awful.

What? What are you talking about?

Yeah, he got it. He was, um...

He was attacked.

I don't know, something came and he... Cheapo, Cheapo, can you just... Are you

being serious?

No, dude, I'm totally serious.

I'm serious. Who attacked Sylvester?

I don't, like... Was it a rival cheater who wanted... who was trying to become

the new ambassador or something? I actually don't know, because I remember

was a whole call -out for, please, can you, you know, send good vibes to

Sylvester? He got attacked, he's not doing too well.

and then it looked like he was going to pull through, and then, like, a few days

later, he was gone.

And I was like, oh, no!

I mean, oh, that's a shame, isn't it?

That's really, um... Well, that's really ruined a nice moment, that, hasn't it?

Sorry. Poor Sylvester.

Now, bearing in mind that you're representing Zim, how did your friends

about your attempt at making Mejia?

There was a couple of, so you couldn't just take him to a shop and get some

because, you know, they sell that, right?

And I said, yes.

Well, you suggested that we make that.

I don't know what it was supposed to taste like, but we made it in the

We did.

We did. We used what was available, Ramesh. Are you ready to partake of

our concoction?

Why are you saying all that?

It hasn't changed colour at all, has it? No.

No,

I think you should go first. You're a guest.

Knock it back.

So, yeah?

It tastes like somebody's already drank it.

You're right, that's difficult.

That was hard.

Horrible.

I did say, though, that some people add sugar, right?

Do you know what it tastes like? It tastes like yogurt made out of hate.

Can I show you that I still have it?

Wow.

You still got that?

Yeah. And it's still the gunk from that day.

Oh.

Haven't rinsed it out.

No, why would you? You want to keep that in case you want to brew some more of

that. You need to use that as a starter culture.

Yeah, I still have this.

And you know when you called it a sex toy, I didn't realise that until I

it up today.

And I was like, yes, it's awfully rude, isn't it?

Did I really? I don't remember. Did I say it was like a sex toy?

Yeah.

Okay, that doesn't...

That doesn't really sound like culture, does it?

I'm sorry about that.

Don't worry. I think we all successfully... And on the rock, when we

drink it, we were rude.

So don't worry.

The offence is like balance.

When I left Zimbabwe and when we finished doing the show with you, it

you were sort of saying to me, look...

We're in this post -Mugabe era, and everyone's feeling very, very positive,

it's been going on for a bit of time now, and people are starting to get

that this is just more of the same old, right? But you said that people in Zim

are positive, that they'll stay positive, and we're still hopeful.

And then, between us filming the show and the show coming out...

I've got to be honest with you. I started thinking to myself, I don't know

this show is even accurate at this stage.

So was that your experience or is that just my perception?

I think because we are Zimbabweans and because we've in a way grown accustomed

to the fact that some of these things are going to take forever to change, we

grab a hold of whatever is good.

especially if it's projected out to the world, which is what the show did. So

I'd love to say things have improved since you left, since I last saw you,

it really hasn't. So do you think if we'd have made the show now, you think

would have been a bit different, do you think? You think you would have been

less positive about it, or would you have still been trying to convey the

emotions that you were when we did the show?

If we did it now, it probably would be a lot less filtered.

And it's interesting that you think now, because there's so much going on in the

world, and I'm just trying to revisit that conversation in the truck.

The race route, an incident which I believe may be a first for a light

comedic travelogue, came at the end of our trip to Motobo National Park.

I'd already taken an unneedlessly scary Jeep Rice.

And slalom through a frightening encounter with a rhino.

Oh, my God.

So when the debating section of the day began, it's fair to say I was already

slightly on edge.

It's stable.

Wow. The park is home to the grave of Cecil Rhodes, the highly controversial

colonialist after whom the country was once named. For years, there has been

debate about how and if we should mark Rhodes' legacy.

Since the show went out, the Black Lives Matter movement has made it the subject

of a global discussion.

So I've thought about this scene a lot in the last few months, about its

and the issues it raises.

Since I've been here, I've been talking a lot about Rhodes, Russell Rhodes.

Yes. And what is your take on him?

He's one of the most amazing men that ever lived.

Because? He did more in a shorter period of time than any other person dead or

alive.

Rhodes made his first million pounds in 1870 at the age of 18, dealing the

diamond stock exchange.

At 22, he founded De Beers Diamonds.

At 23, he created the British South Company.

At 27, he was Member of Parliament.

At 37, he was Prime Minister.

At 49, at his death, the richest man in the world owned six countries and two

named after him.

So why is your opinion on why in Britain the idea of celebrating Rhodes is

considered a tricky issue?

Because... No, because Britain's embarrassed about the historical legacy.

We can't look at it from today's mindset.

They try and push that he was racist.

Yeah. That's one thing Rhodes never was.

It's very interesting to listen to you talk about...

your admiration of Cecil John Rhodes, right? And walking through how you view

that. And I, as a black Zimbabwean woman,

I struggle with part of his legacy because, you know, one of the quotations

is attributed to him, and I'm not going to quote it correctly at all, but it was

referring... to natives as barbaric and to me i'm just like wow that's exactly

what and i hear what you're saying but that's exactly what why you've got to

take it in context of its time I think it's hard for me to not see it as a

racial thing, that someone comes and arrives and looks at my people and

to us as savages and barbaric and that I have to learn the Anglo -Saxon way

because it is superior to the way I'm living. You arrived and there was a way

life, but it's just the disrespect.

No, it's not disrespect.

It is disrespect.

It's not. To look at me and tell me the way you're doing things is wrong. Like,

I'm sorry, man. You just don't get it right and say that. Like, you can't just

say that.

don't feel like you're a superior being.

They weren't saying they were superior. They were, though. When you say the

Anglo -Saxon way of life is the way that people should do things because the way

my people are doing things is barbaric, I'm sorry, that is a superiority

complex. You are looking down on me.

A lot of people have said to me, one of the things that they disagreed with

about my actions is that I sat there silently while you two had this

right? And a lot of people said to me, you allowed that argument to play out.

You didn't stand up for cheapo and et cetera, et cetera. And my take on it at

the time was I am the person in that vehicle that knows by a long stretch.

the least about this situation, right? So to my mind, I just thought, well,

Chipo's got this covered, so I'm just going to sit out on this one.

Do you feel like you would have handled it exactly the same, or are you thinking

about, you're looking back on that thinking you would have done things

differently? I think had we had that same encounter now,

we probably would have had to pull the truck over.

and perhaps look for a new host.

Just looking at the world right now and where we're at as the world, I think I

would have been more impassioned and more angry today, angrier than I was

And I probably would have just cried on camera, which I did off camera, but I

think I would have just lost my ish.

I'm glad our back and forth with Ian.

ended the way it did and no one got punched out. He could have easily said,

out of my truck, I'm coming with you, which he didn't. But in terms of

getting to the nitty gritties of these conversations, I think, I don't know

we are going to have that conversation in Zim. And it's been interesting to

across the world and see how that conversation has been handled.

And, yeah, and wondering when we will tackle our own issues because they're

there and they've been long standing.

Yeah. You know, the truth of it is that we wanted to get the full experience of

Zimbabwe. I know, as well as you do, that if you wanted to, you could go to

Zimbabwe, you could pay a lot of money, and you could have a holiday where you

don't even have to engage if you didn't want to with all of those other things.

You just go and have a luxury time.

And, you know, one of the things that we did that we didn't end up showing in

the show was when we stayed at that luxury... Do you remember that luxury

that we stayed at just before the boat safari? Do you remember that

incredible... That incredible hotel, that place was unbelievable, right?

Amazing.

I mean, that was... Insane.

In the making of this show, I've had to camp on the frozen ocean, and in the

middle of a scorching hot desert, I've slept in sheep feces in a shepherd's

house, and in a yurt surrounded by Mongolian eagle hunters.

So when I finally got to stay somewhere luxurious towards the end of the

Zimbabwe trip... I was determined to make the most of it before the

announcement that I'd have to fight a hippo naked or something.

This is very nice, Chipper.

This is what I would call the life.

You have outdone yourself as a tour guide.

Thank you.

I mean, you're not a tour guide. You've been a partner.

You've been a co -host.

I wouldn't say friend.

But I very much enjoyed hanging out with you.

Thank you. And what a fantastic finale to the show.

Oh, you think this is the finale?

Well, this is the finale. We've got an hour's worth of stuff.

This is the end of the show. We get some cocktails.

We go cheers. And then I go, you know what?

In many ways, I really have taken Zimbabwe to my heart. And I hope that

has found a place in its heart.

For me.

This has been The Misadventures of Romeshwanganathan.

There is a houseboat upon which we will embark and

see the lake.

There is a hammock on which I will stay and not go onto the boat.

The most phenomenal

Sunsets happen out there. Is it more phenomenal than lying down? I don't

so.

Please, just this one, this last thing, that's all.

Then you can end the show.

That is the end of the show.

That is the end of the show.

Fine, I'll get on the houseboat, but not yet.

Welcome on board. Thank you.

And then we went on our safari, our boat safari, which was very exciting.

And during the boat safari, we did something that I've got to be honest

you, I was in two minds about, which was the Titanic sequence, where we recreate

some of the iconic moments of Titanic. I also think that when I shouted iceberg

ahead, I think it was too loud.

That was scary. And I think people think I was faking my reaction, but I was

just like, what the hell?

That's it. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.

Action.

You're getting to pull apart.

Can you just let me on? I need you to let go.

Cut.

I read one big social media personality

here, a social media personality, was like, I liked the show, but...

That Titanic bit, like, what was the point?

Look, I had a great time.

Well, Chipo, it has been absolutely lovely to catch up with you.

You too.

I'll be honest with you, I'm slightly gutted that you've had a lot more news

deliver to me than I have to you.

But I'll be honest with you, I'm not willing to have another child just to

a story for you on this Zoom chat. So I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, thank you so, so much. It's been good to see you too.

What? a pleasure.

Haven't you already had one of those?

No!

You take care of yourself and it's lovely to speak to you. Ciao.

So who are you calling next?

I'm going to call Skenda from Bosnia.

Skender lives in Sarajevo. He was keen to show me about how good the skiing is

there. I think it's fair to say that I was ungracious in my response. That's

something I want to talk to him about because the honest truth is I lost my

when we went skiing.

So I need to check in with him about that.

And also ask him about how the lockdown's affected him because

lockdown... is the Diet Coke equivalent of what he actually went through during

the conflict. I mean, they were confined to their homes in much more difficult

circumstances. So I imagine that he saw the lockdown as an absolute piece of

piss. So I want to ask him about that.

Before my visit, all I had ever known about Bosnia was war.

Some places you go to...

These preconceptions are completely confounded when you get there.

That wasn't the case in Bosnia, but while my amazing guide Skenda didn't shy

away from the country's past, he was keen to show me that they could laugh

it. Get yourself ready for a grim joke.

There were two friends.

The bomb explodes and there's a total mess in the city and there's a smoke and

there's a facade coming off and some people are wounded laying down on the

street. It's quite a dark joke so far.

Very dark, yeah. And it's going to get just darker.

And in the smoke, he looks down and he sees his friend on the ground and he

there's blood coming down his ear through his shoulder. And he looks

he sees there's a piece of his ear, like half of the ear is gone. Jesus.

And then he taps him on his shoulder and tells him, man, you have lost your ear.

You're bleeding so badly.

I don't know what you're looking for. Forget about whatever you're looking

Let's go to hospital. Let me stitch you up. And the man on the ground looks at

him and says, no, no, no, I'm not looking for my ear. I'm looking for a

cigarette. I had one behind my ear.

That's good.

There's a lot of pressure on that punchline because it's one of the most

setups to a joke I've ever heard in my life.

Hello, Skender. Hey, Ramesh. How are you? Yes, mate.

It is beautiful to see you, my man. Nice to see you too, my friend. So good to

see you. You look great.

You look good as well. Thank you. First question.

Whose house have you broken into?

Yeah. That's your place?

That's one of my places.

Okay. All right, Jay -Z.

Relax, mate. Yeah.

It looks very nice. How are you? Very well. Very well. Very good. Very good.

Did you feel like the show was a good representation of the country and what

did? Yeah, I think it was great. It was an unusual way of representing the

country a bit.

I wanted to ask you one question also.

So why didn't you use the bit of Sarajevo walking tour which we did

the shot, like in the show in the end? When you walked me around?

Yeah, when I walked you around and I showed you the history of Sarajevo, like

the walking tour around the city.

Listen, I loved the walking tour.

So Ram, we are in Sarajevo. Yeah. In Sarajevo, old part of the city.

This is actually very pretty.

Yeah, this is the most beautiful part of the city. I never thought I'd have the

opportunity to walk through Sarajevo with a pimp.

But it's happened.

Somebody's got to show you around.

This often happens on our show.

Somebody gives you a really fascinating tour of their home city.

giving you thoughtful insights into the cultural, economic and geographical

influences that have created such a vibrant space.

Skender's tour was great, but if we had shown it, we wouldn't have been able to

spend as much time showing me dressed as Franz Ferdinand, jumping off a bridge

or getting smashed at a vineyard.

So in the end, we cut it.

Sorry, Skender.

So, Pigeon Square,

you guessed why it's called Pigeon Square. Pigeon Square, I get it. I

out for myself, actually.

In time of the war, people had to grow the food on their own in their own

gardens all around the city.

And me and my father would go on the top floor of this building and collect the

pigeon shit to fertilize our ground where we were cropping potatoes. You

collected pigeon shit? Yes. So I hate them ever since then.

You know, in Sri Lanka, my mom's house in Sri Lanka, behind the toilet, there

were mango trees.

Okay. And those mangoes were massive.

Like, they're not the biggest mangoes you've ever seen.

But my mum wouldn't let us eat them because she said they were poo mangoes.

Yeah. Because it's, like, human poo that's... Correct, correct, correct.

So she's evidence to my claims about... Yeah, but we didn't go and harvest human

shit. We had to do it, you know. We had to do it. I loved it.

You want me to be honest? For me, a highlight.

Absolute highlight.

Because, like, at the end of the shoots, we do, like, the sort of go, do you

want to just send in what...

What you really want to keep in the show and I said like absolutely Like 100 %

make sure you keep in that that walking so I don't know what happened Maybe you

could slap him few times for me, please. Yeah, I will do that. I mean if that's

what's required I'm happy to do that man. I I don't know why they decided not

include it.

It was it was crazy, but um Kenda Kenda

yeah, yeah Kenda Kenda Kenda

Skender. Skender.

He's gone.

Hey, Skender.

Hey, Ramesh. I'm sorry about yesterday.

Don't worry. It's not your fault. It is lovely to see you again.

Always nice to see you. How's life treating you?

It's been good. A little bit boring without too much business going on.

Life has slowed down a lot.

It's okay.

How did you find the lockdown?

Because I was sort of thinking about you when we were locking down here. Because

in the UK, everybody was sort of moaning about the restrictions and stuff like

that. And I just couldn't help thinking that for you and people in Sarajevo, it

just must have felt like the easiest thing ever, right? Just locking down for

little bit.

Yes, I mean, we were back to 1990s, you know. Many people here were reminded to

those days.

One of the most memorable things of our trip was...

when we decided to, well, when you took me to have an immersive experience at

Zero One Hotel.

I loved it. I mean, that was actually the first time for me to go through that

kind of experience, you know. It was really amazing.

Well, the thing was that I had never experienced anything like that before.

And he was very dedicated to making that a proper wartime experience.

What is this place? It's a recreation of what we survived.

Are these bullets?

Yes.

Welcome to 1992.

Thank you.

What is the first impression?

Um... It's difficult to sort of summarise, really.

This is, uh... It's interesting.

Is this the accommodation, is that? This is going to be the room.

And what's the deal with the sound effects? What's that? Where do you get

from? They're real sound.

And is that through the night, that place?

24 -7.

24 -7. We'll have to deal with it.

When we originally made the show, the plan was always to stay at the War Hotel

for the night, one of those keeping -it -real decisions that you make in the UK

and immediately regret when you're confronted with the stark reality of a

on Zero One's floor.

What we showed was as it happened.

Me turning up...

and almost immediately changing my mind about spending the night there.

What's going through your mind?

I don't know. Well, I mean, it's pretty horrific, to be honest.

It's set up to be what it's like to live during the Bosnian conflict, and that

is what you do. You have 01 instruct you through how to survive

through the night.

so that you know what it's like to live during Bosnian wartime.

Were you walking through that thinking it was reflecting exactly what it was

like in Sarajevo at that time?

OK, certain segments of the whole experience were really reproducing the

of the war. The wood chopping and the water carrying, more or less, he

things quite properly.

Yeah, the wood chopping, cool.

The getting your own water, totally on board with that. The soldier bunker.

that he had out the front that was that took it to another level right that was

too much smoke in the bunker i don't think you know there was that much smoke

the bunker usually but who knows yeah that was pretty full -on

now while the fire is burning we can prepare

the food it's very simple okay i'm gonna cook some more food we're gonna make

some war donut let's call them okay take four pinches of salt and just put them

in Just everything was war, do you know what I mean? Like, we're going to make

some war doughnuts, we need to get some war water, we need to get some war

firewood. And then you have to wash your hands, which you will do with some war

soap. It was an actual war soap. War soap?

Yeah. Jesus.

Which essentially the whole experience was just very war weird.

Have a great.

Listen, I love war doughnuts now.

Have you ever made them? I made them for the kids, but I decided not to call

them war doughnuts, I just call them doughnuts.

I felt like, you know, then they're going to ask questions and then it's

you know, let's just call them donuts and have a nice afternoon, you know?

yeah, yeah. Save yourself from too much questioning. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, one of the things that surprised me the most about my visit was the

quality of the skiing, you know, the ski facilities and everything you got

there.

Now, I wanted to ask you, because when I watched the show back, I feel like I

came across as a bit of a prick there.

Fucking hell.

Is anybody going to react? Did everyone else say that? Is anyone going to react

to what just happened?

This is serious slope now.

Because I saw you panicking here. So you cannot panic.

I can't control it. I'm going to panic.

You leave Bosnia with your knees in place or you leave Bosnia and your knees

in place?

Okay, why is he allowed to say stuff like that?

It looked like... I was going skiing with a very nice man, you, and was just

being a bit of a shithead about it. So I just want to apologize.

You were honest. You don't like it? Okay, let's quit it.

I was just so unbelievably crap at it.

Of course, we did lots of filming, you know, not everything fit in. But that

moment after the skiing, you know, after all that turbulence we had on the ski

track, I liked that moment.

What you're saying is, there's a lot of stuff we filmed that didn't make the

show. And you found it irritating. You're being polite about it, but it

me off as well.

This is very nice.

This is like what I was hoping for.

You know, fire, you, mountain of wall donuts.

Genuinely impressed that you got this level of facilities. I never would

Yes, yes. I told you, when we met like Bosnians like that, you don't expect.

It's not only cheap.

Like the standard of skiing is heavily high.

So I hope you enjoyed your day.

This is great.

The whole resort, you know, all of the...

Stuff is great.

It's just I was shit.

So there's that. You were good. You were good. Trust me. For a beginner, you're

focusing to extract the best of yourself.

And you did it.

Well, if that was the best of myself, I'm in deep shit. For the first time.

the first time. If that had been somebody else who was actually good at

think they would have appreciated it. I can still appreciate that that was good.

It's just I hated it. I know, I know. But I mean, I appreciate that it's a

facility.

But for me, it was...

Two hours of just pure shit. Just pure.

Yeah. Just white house shit. Agony. It was like an agony.

Yeah. I would rather punch myself repeatedly in the bollocks and never do

again. You understand the contrast where I'm coming from? It's a great ski

slope. But I would rather move in in a romantic relationship with Zero One than

spend another afternoon on the... You understand where I'm coming from?

I understand. Yeah, yeah. You and Zero One.

Rather than... Just him completely naked, except for the helmet, going to

I would rather eat war doughnuts off his nipples.

One of my favourite parts of the trip was when you and I tried a Herzegovinian

wine. Ah, yeah.

Everything I said I thought was hilarious.

It was so pathetic to watch.

Really good. Very good, yeah.

So Skender took me to a wine tasting, and I'm going to be straight up with

I am.

I am so smashed.

It's... I literally can't see. I cannot see.

So what are you looking for in a good wine?

Smell and taste.

That's the way to distinguish it.

I've got the interview.

Of the two things that I thought you could engage with sense -wise, I'd

taste and smell.

I didn't think I was supposed to fucking listen to it.

After we finished that wine tasting, you were absolutely fine and happy to carry

on with your evening.

Then I had to go straight to bed.

Yeah, I'm sorry that people didn't see how out of form you are, you know, how

out of drinking form you are.

That was bad.

That was bad.

Skender, look, man, it's been absolutely amazing to speak to you. It's so lovely

to see you.

Thank you once again for the time we spent together and being such a great

And thank you for catching up with me, man. It's been great to speak to you.

Don't worry. I mean, it's always a pleasure to see you, Romesh. Like,

always nice to see you and talk to you and see you smile and hear your jokes.

And I'm looking forward to seeing you in Bosnia maybe again. Who knows, in

Balkan somewhere. Mate, I'll be back because I tell you what, I want to do

bridge dive again.

Do you know what I mean? I feel like I could do that again with sort of better

form, you know, coming off the top of there.

God.

I've left home. We are, not permanently, we are in a local cafe so that I can

phone Bobo, who was my guide when I was in the Sahara.

My trip to the desert was essentially a wind -up. The year before, we had made a

Christmas special in the Arctic, and I had demanded that this time round we

somewhere warm. The Sahara in July was a scorching 50 degrees, and very, very,

very sandy.

Bobo, an impossibly sweet man, was born in the desert and spends his life

showing people its beauty.

When surrounded by the majesty of the dunes, you do have to wonder why we went

with this angle.

Well, the camp's amazing.

And this is, I mean, obviously I had it in my mind's eye what this is going to

look like. But when you're actually here, it's pretty incredible.

Boo -boo, hello.

How are you, my brother?

I'm very good, man. How are you?

I am good, thank you very much.

You are properly in the middle of the desert, right?

I am in the middle of nowhere.

I think you remember this place from last year, no?

Yeah, I do. How hot is it there?

It's around like 45.

How's life been treating you?

It's good. Just resting in Sahara desert.

So after the show went out, a lot of people said to me that I was calling you

Boo Boo and your name is Bobo.

And then some people said they couldn't tell if I was calling you Bobo or Boo

Boo. So what actually...

Am I supposed to call you?

I am Berber. Call me Berber. The last thing we need is a third name thrown

this. I'm trying to still figure out between... Okay.

My nickname is Bobo.

Bobo? Yes.

Okay, great. All right, so I've been getting it wrong. But that's good. It's

good to get it clarified.

So, did you watch the show?

I watched it. I love it. People kind of fell in love with you, you know?

No, because actually I have a lot of phone calls from the people they want

to come to visit because they want to come to the desert because, you know,

you're very famous.

I know that.

Because you and I both got recognised when you came to London, right? Do you

remember that?

Yeah, yeah. Did you think that the show was like a good representation of what

your life is like?

Yeah, I feel...

Yeah, I don't know how to explain it. I feel very proud.

And you look amazing, by the way.

Thank you very much.

But it's a problem because you made me feel like I should get an outfit like

that and that I would look really good.

And so you and I went shopping together and I did buy an outfit like that,

bought myself a gondola, and I looked absolutely awful.

How do I look, to be honest with you? Very nice.

This

is

the turban.

Okay, are you taking the piss now?

Are you taking the piss?

No, no.

This is how the people were in the turban in the desert.

And do I look good?

Yeah.

Very nice.

How are you feeling? I feel like a Klan member with a head injury.

Shall we start the sparkling process then?

Yes, please don't make me wear this. That's my starting bid.

Was there anything that we didn't have in the show that you'd like to have? For

example, do you remember there's a couple of things that we did that didn't

it in?

Do you remember when we went to the gas station?

I remember that.

We made our little horror film.

Yeah.

From the toilet, right, okay.

Hello?

Bit creepy, this, isn't it?

Yeah, it's terrifying.

A bit creepy.

It's a bit weird, this place, isn't it?

Yeah, it's a sad from scary movie.

What scary movie?

The Hills Have Eyes.

The Hills Have Eyes?

Yeah.

Okay, that makes sense. Well, can we leave, please? Okay, please.

Worst toilet stop ever.

Yeah? Yeah.

The Hills Has Eyes.

The Hills Has Eyes, yeah.

Scary movie.

Getting you to say it's from a scary movie, The Hills Have Eyes, that was the

most difficult thing that's ever happened in the desert.

Now I get it.

Now I get it.

Now it has like, now it's one year, and then every day I... You've been

practicing? Yeah, yeah. Scary movie, The Hills Has Eyes.

It's perfect. It's absolutely perfect.

And then the other thing that we did, we went to 8 Ben Haddou. You know where we

checked out all the buildings there?

Yeah, you went to 8 Ben Haddou. It's like a very beautiful casbah there.

Looking back now, Bobo's long drive south to the desert was amongst the

time in the trip.

It was hot, but still just about bearable, and I didn't have half a

sandpit in my arse cracks.

We stopped at old Kasbah towns like 8 Bin Haddou.

It was amazing, but it wasn't the desert.

And in a show called The Sahara, we felt if we spent too long procrastinating,

people would think we were taking the piss.

I want to show you inside here.

Come in.

Well, this is quite spanky.

Can I ask a very ignorant question?

Yeah. What exactly do you mean by Kasbah? What does that mean?

Casbah is like a house. A house? Yeah. Because this is massive.

Yeah, this is because this is for big family, like 35 people.

35 people? Yeah, 35 people. Only one family.

Is that quite usual to have that many people in one casbah? Yeah.

Okay, this is nice. Yeah.

You see?

From that to there.

They have like three floors.

you don't really get a grasp of the scale of it until you're inside here

from a distance it just looks like very basic small places and then you come in

here this is like a proper structure right like i mean it's like a castle

basically the

difficulty i've got here is

that it looks like i'm on holiday but it is so so hot i mean it's pushing

40. and it's going to get 15 degrees hotter than this.

When I asked him how I'm supposed to deal with the heat, his advice was, try

to think about how hot it is.

You have to survive.

That's his sort of ongoing mantra.

So I've got to be honest with you, I find completely useless as advice.

Do you know what I mean? I mean, it is hot.

It's not hot. Try and think it's not hot. Well, I can't try and think it's

hot because my balls are stuck to my thigh.

After we came back, just a few months ago, I watched Game of Thrones and then

suddenly I was thrown back to our trip because they used 8 -Band Hadou in

the show. So it totally reminded me of us going for our visit there.

You have to come back again.

Yeah, I will do.

I actually was very impressed with your desert survival training.

Yeah. You know the dog thing, was that true?

Yeah, it's true.

Bobo's health and safety training was reassuring, alarming and bizarre in

measure. It had begun with a detailed explanation as to how to survive in a

sandstorm before veering into tree climbing. And that's when he taught me

survive a snake bite.

The bit that's been bitten? Inside the dog? Yeah, inside the dog.

Otherwise, you have to go to the hospital, live, then three hours.

And at the hospital, they've what? They've got loads of dogs at the

have they?

Yeah. No, if you go to the hospital, they give you, like, injection.

Oh, OK, OK, OK. But in the desert, if you don't have a dog... Why?

Because they take all the poison out.

This is how it works. Yeah, he works.

Who's the first maniac that tried that?

There is very old man. They lived all his life in the desert. Yeah.

Even me before, I don't know that. And then he told me.

He said to me, Bobo, I've been bitten by snakes.

And then I do that. And then he works.

Otherwise, if he doesn't do that, he die.

Right.

Give me your... You

feel it?

Feel what?

I feel like my arm is out.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Please put your arm up.

One of the bleakest things I've ever been involved with.

There you go.

I'm so sorry.

There was one other thing that we did that didn't make it into the

show. And it was... Do you remember when we spent our day... It felt like

the whole day.

I don't know, it was about an hour or something.

trying to do the motorcycle where we were stood by the... Yeah, that.

That's the one.

It's warm in here, eh?

It is warm, but you know what? When you... When you stand here and look at

like this, it's amazing.

It's empty, eh?

I mean, you do feel properly... I like that here, don't you?

Yeah. Middle of nowhere.

But it's liberating.

Boo -boo?

Yeah.

What the hell is that?

I'd like to point out at this juncture that I was against this scene.

It was supposed to be a sort of parody of Lawrence of Arabia.

Filming it took almost an hour.

A whole hour standing in the middle of the desert in temperatures hitting 49

degrees. At one point, the guy on the bike missed his cue and rode 15 minutes

the wrong direction before we could tell him to come back and do another take.

I suspected that even he was trying to escape this shit idea.

At the end of the day, there's a reason why we don't do this sort of set -up

gag. The idea was half -baked, and now so was I.

Okay, what's next?

That for me, you know, it was so hot.

It was so windy.

That to me was the absolute, like everybody, you're losing your temper.

You're getting frustrated.

I mean, it's really difficult conditions, right?

For you, it's difficult, but for us, it's not.

You know, look, I am calling you right now. It's like...

40 45 degree I went to it because you if you stay like that, I think you

You got like quickly like kebab

And then you have to remember the experience, you know the last night you

like wild wild camping Just me and you in the middle of nowhere

that wild camping was

That it was man, I've not I've never experienced anything like that

What is the door okay, this is the door okay, yeah turn this around

Okay, thank you

This is inside man

I know Boo Boo's an expert, but I think he's underestimated my incompetence. I

think my incompetence might cancel out his expertise and we're just going to

out here.

I wouldn't trust that to sleep in my back garden at home, let alone the

Is there anything you're looking forward to?

Just a sweet embrace of death.

You come to my country, this is how I want to show you.

I know it's last night, but I want to show you something.

I have to give you like how the people, they stay just in the middle of nowhere.

No, it was great, but it was one of the toughest nights I've ever had. I mean,

you went straight to sleep pretty much. I, on the other hand, had a very

different experience.

How did you sleep?

I got up in the middle of the night and I went for a piss.

Then the wind changed and the piss went all over the gondola.

Morning.

Good morning.

I tried to go back to sleep but it was too cold to sleep out there without the

gondola on.

When I got into the car, as I was climbing in through this door, the wind

the door shut onto my finger.

I think it might be broken.

Which hand?

This one.

Bobo, I had such an amazing time with you, man.

Thank you so much for everything you did.

You know, for meeting you in London, you're the only one out of all of the co

-hosts that I've met since we did the show. So thank you so much for coming to

see me.

And then I'm very happy to meet you again.

Yeah, lovely to see you again, Baba. You take care.

Marhaba, brother.

You're going to be here much longer, mate.

Well, yeah, we've got six more countries to do.