Original subtitles

my dreams are all dead and buried

sometimes

the trim.

Come on back.

You got plenty.

Backer.

Forebacker. I think my wheels are spinning, damn it. Keep it coming. Come

You still got this, bud. Keep it coming. Keep it coming.

What the hell? I said you were close, damn lead foot. Get down. It's the

twister, everybody.

Go on. Do the horn.

The book says I'm supposed to secure the pocket, brother. Do the horn.

Come on. Come on, do the horn.

All right.

Yeah! Woo!

Yeah! Hell yeah!

Woo, baby, yeah!

Oh, man, this is my study truck. If I scratch this thing, I ain't gonna get me

my CDL.

CDL? Yeah, commercial driver's license.

Why ain't you gonna get him a damn CDL? You saying I ain't got what it takes to

beat one of them interstate truckers? Hell, look what you just done to the

house. You a damn menace.

Now, Daddy, I dream of getting the hell out of this town.

And then come back 18 hours later and pick up another load and then get in

out of this town again.

And then do that repeatedly for the rest of my life. Look around you, boy.

This is your home. Just why in the hell would you want to leave this sumbitching

garden of Eden?

Huh? Huh?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Tell me.

Trucking ain't nothing but a pipe dream. Hell, why don't you just grow yourself

a beard and join the ZZ Top?

What do you mean? Why don't you then?

What are you saying, Danny? Son, you need to choose a safe career path.

Like doing them weird mountain carvings of Jesus Christ, Lord Almighty.

We need to try that. We got a bus tour coming through.

Ain't no damn future in trucking. Now, what the hell you know about trucking in

the big rigs? Well, now, that there's a question for my CP handle.

The scrambler.

You were the scrambler? Oh, no. The secret is out. The safe scrambler who

the largest environmental disaster in modern trucking history? Ah, them

Washington hippies love to hammer my ass with that one.

Well, it seems like it was only a week ago, but it was actually nine days ago.

At the time, I was working over at the DHI. So, how did the brainstorm meeting

go? Did you and your thinking partner manage to figure out how to get rid of

this toxic waste?

Uh, yeah.

I thought we would do like a giveaway.

A giveaway of toxic waste. Yeah, I mean, people love free stuff. Stop talking.

Where is the other half of the brain truck?

He said he was going to work remotely or remote or something about remote.

Bam! There's something about your change channels right through the eye.

Woo! Get around the television, Mother Treader, because it's Treader Tuesday on

the Netflix network.

Treader Tuesday is all glad all the time.

You got the scrambler coming in loud and proud, baby. My ears is on.

Early, it's Dan.

Where is your proposal for the toxic waste removal?

I'm sick. I got...

10 -100 in progress.

Trucker slang for diarrhea.

You're watching the Trucker Tuesday Marathon, aren't you? That's a negative,

negatory. Tuesday's my day to deal with clients. I can't be there over.

Oh, really?

What are the names of these clients?

Well, there's, uh, the Snowman, uh, Sally Field.

Well, you've... Clearly got your hands full early. I guess this big rig cross

-country challenge will have to go to Glenn.

All right. Wait a minute. What big rig cross -country challenge?

Oh, only that you can't take a load of flash -frozen Freedom Fries to Paris,

France in 18 hours flat.

That can't be done. That's right, Glenn. They say it can't be done.

There ain't but one man I know that can pull that off.

The Scrambler.

18 hours to Paris, France.

Hell, ain't nothing can stop a scrambler.

Well, except for this large wet area here, which is showing up here on the

in blue. We really need to be going, but I'm pretty sure they fixed the bridge.

Well, we're wasting time jibber -jabbering our jaws there. Hell, I'm

Freedom Fry load straight up to the hammer lane, baby, all the way to Frog

Sure, whatever.

Just get it out of here. He's a France -bound clown with a hammer to the fur.

He's doing something they said he could never do.

Well,

you did it early. And to think they said it couldn't be done. Yeah.

I guess I did.

Nobody called from France, right? Are you up for a double or nothing,

Well, what's it gonna be this time, boss man? Ah, hell, I don't care.

Going to France?

Sure, sure, yes. France, yes.

Now go on with you.

You ain't said it can't be done yet. Yes, yes, yes. It can't be done and all

that. I ain't said it can't be done. Hell, I'll show them.

Come on now. Let's go.

I had old Johnny Law coming and going, baby. But I had the best blocker in the

business to run interference.

Hey, Mummy, what's the 10 -9 on the bars back there?

We got a city kitty on the six, Scrambler. You better drop her down. The

nickel's come back.

Hell, no. I got to hammer down now.

See if you can shake that smokey. I'm about to stand on it, over. I'd love to

help you, good buddy, but you tied me to the back of the truck.

Denny, I got eyes on the Scrambler. He's running with the mummy. Are you in

position, son?

What done to Pastor Coot, you little...

I get the car, Denny. We got a small tax base here in Dougal County.

Oh, Denny, you got to block the whole road, not just one lane. Rambler, I see

some daylight.

You just have to change lanes.

Negatory, Mommy. We're going to take this conveniently placed car transport

the ramp down. Oh, hell.

Denny, get that conveniently placed car transport with the ramp down out of

there, bud. Hang tight, Mommy. We'll see if he wants to dance to Dougal's O .C.

So crazy, side up!

We jumped over 27 flaming school buses and landed clean on 18 wheels.

I think we lost him. Over.

Uh -oh.

Uh, hey, Early.

Oh, that's where that went.

Thank you, Hoss.

License and registration, please.

Oh, oh, yeah, that.

Uh, just a minute.

Breaker, breaker, one, nine. I got me a full -grown bear in my ass. It acts like

a bumper sticker.

All you mothertuckers out there, I need me a convoy. Do you copy?

Early. Early.

Turn it off.

Look, I need to tell you something.

What? You remember Sheriff Buford T. Justice?

Son, I'm gonna go home and punch your mama in the mouth.

You remember when he said that?

Yeah.

I hope he didn't, though.

That'd be domestic violence and all.

Soon I fell into all the expensive trappings of the trucker lifestyle.

I got me a novelty belt buckle, classic Yosemite saw mud flaps.

Hell, I even held auditions to get myself an animal sidekick. Right turn,

Willie.

Go on, right turn, Willie.

Right turn, Dr. Fang.

Hey, kick up the A .C., bitch. I ain't getting nothing back here.

Right turn, chicken.

Hell, you're running with the Scrabbler now.

The mummy and me piled on the mound.

Mokies on my back, thick as bugs on a bunker. Hey, Scrabbler. What? You for

justice here?

I'm going to barbecue your ass in my lather, son.

Remember that early?

No, no!

I was hauling three loads a week, and not a single one reached its

But, hell, that didn't bother my boss none.

Yep, there was much respect for the scrambler.

Bend over.

Whoa, what's all this, man? Uh, airbags to protect your internal organs and anus

in the case of a wreck.

Oh, good. I thought that was a damn balloon full of drugs. Oh, no, no. Yeah,

don't know, man.

It can't be done.

Is that what they say?

All right, okay.

Oh, and wait, wait, wait, wait.

None of these can be done either.

I was hauling 16 tons back and forth from Motor City twice a week. But all

wanted was my fuck -hole airbags.

Come on, come on, come on. Hold on just a minute. I gotta think about this. Come

on, man. Let's go with that airbag.

Come on, easy.

Just... You can count it later, kid.

No, no, no.

It's all there. Really?

It feels a little bit light.

What do you know?

Can't put one over on you, can we?

And then the scrambler's run came to a close.

What are you hauling back there, son?

Two tons of the backer. Looks like you got 130 pounds of dead hooker, 40 -some

-odd Mexican illegals, and three keys of pure China white.

Well, hell, you know, I did hear some thumping. Okay, I'm going to have to ask

you to step out of the car, sir.

I demand a silo. What's that thing you got to say in a movie picture when they

don't get you in no trouble?

How do I know you ain't got what it takes, Rusty? Because I was the only man

the planet who had what it took.

Hell, you can't be me. You've read the hat.

Womans want to be with me.

Mans want to be me when I'm with the womans who I want to be with or with me.

Me.

I guess you're right. Who did inventory down here?

Now get on now and slap you some googly eyes on some pine cones.

We only got two Barabbas to see, Flab, but I can't find none of Jacob the

Doubter. All right. I'll get right on it.

Buck up, son.

It ain't like it's the end of the world.

Just the end of your dreams.

Stuck together.

change channels.