Original subtitles

My dreams are all dead and buried.

Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode.

Inside the magic box is a token of all that

we held and used to know.

My turn.

Hey, man, let me drive that thing. Come on. Touch the tram.

He come up and got all the money out of the register, and he give it back to me

and demanded I make change.

Hmm.

He wanted all the money in small unmarked coins.

Man, he sat down and rolled them coin rolls and said he wanted bills back for

it. He's laundering the money.

Go on, boy. Then he said, don't you call the police, that he'd be watching me.

And he pulled out a folding chair and sat down and started watching me.

I see. Well, two hours he was watching me.

And this is you waking him up on the tape here, right?

Yes, sir.

Then he asked me if he could stay here, and I said no. This was the place of

business. So he gave up all the money and left.

Hmm. Look here.

This is an M .O. we have seen before.

Are you saying? Yep.

We got us a wanted fugitive back in town.

Hey, son.

What you doing here? I thought I told you I don't never want to see you around

here no more.

I reckon we could talk.

You can talk all the hell you want, but I ain't listening, hell no. If you ain't

listening, I'm not talking.

Well, I guess we gonna be standing here for quite a while. What's that?

I didn't hear you. I ain't listening to you now.

Oh, trying to flip it on me now, huh?

Fine. Come on in.

So I can show you ass to exit door. Now get on out of here.

I guess I'll be on my way then. Well, that sounds gooder than hell to me. Let

this cancer I have run through my veins and take me out of your life for good.

Hell, I wish it could happen right now so I could watch it. But unfortunately,

I'm a busy man.

So if you'll excuse me. Go on and watch your stories and don't let me bother

you. Because I'm leaving.

Go on. Do what you said.

Because I'm busy as hell with my television set. Well, all right then.

going to leave this gift by the studio. Now, wait now. Don't be going so fast

for a second now.

What's that third gift you mentioning?

I always knew that you were having tooth problems, so I got you some braces.

I just hope it ain't too late.

Hell, grave robbing again.

You ain't changed a whit. I have changed, son.

I guess you just can't see it, because I shot your eyes up so bad with your BB

gun when you was real young.

Don't be bringing up good memories to try to get on with me.

I'm over it, what you've done. But you see that frail old woman out there?

I said the three -quarters socket, not the three -eighths.

She about broke her damn heart. Hell, she can't re -lube no emotions.

Not like she can re -lube my chassis.

I'm ready. Get on over here. I'm coming, I'm coming.

Oh, you.

You filthy rat.

You used me and left me to raise children on my own. And then you run out

some floozy and that's all in the past. I can change you.

Deal with the obvious physical attraction right now and sort out all

at a later date more convenient to you.

Oh, God.

Touchdown.

You think they've done that?

Oh, God.

They ain't done at all. Hell no. They far from done.

Now I'm done.

Now get off of me. I like how you're so comfortable expressing your needs. I

didn't tell you to speak.

Make eggs over there.

Come on, Rusty. Let's talk a while.

All right, then.

Hell, he ain't here to heal no wounds.

He's here for that money he stole 30 years back.

They don't think I note it, but I note it, and I said it, and I say it now, and

I think it, and I say it repeatedly, otherwise it damn disappears.

He bangs like a loaded freight train an hour late for the depot. Oh, God, that

sumbitch ain't nothing but a damn Trojan horse a -snaking in here.

But inside all that horsewood is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Well, that ain't nothing but a Halloween costume for a shark creature merged

with a gorilla.

The gorilla has, uh, that's how it breathes on land.

Gorillas know sign language.

And it's got a thousand legs like a millipede, all karate kicking your heart

two. Wait a minute.

Does that mean we're going to have babies every part millipede?

Hell, there ain't no eggs left in your hen house.

The snake of time doesn't seem to that. Well, some people find me attractive.

Yeah, I guess there are a couple people who like I'm a bald -ass purple dude.

Yeah. Something kind of strange about it.

You know, Far?

Uh -huh.

It's hot.

Don't touch that shit, no matter how shiny.

Okay. Ride on red don't mean you have to go ride on red. I drove around in

circles for years before I figured that out.

All right.

Getting girls pregnant feels good, but it's also real easy.

Okay. They spray treasure everywhere in the cemetery.

Eggs are full of cholesterol.

But some yellow things inside makes it taste good.

That's on mail.

Law is a conspiracy by the American Indians.

Okay. Now we're getting into my belief system.

Rate me once, shame on you.

Rate me twice, I must have did something to ask for it. That's what you believe?

Of course, that's prison talk.

Did I mention we was in prison?

We're not.

What? Why are you telling me all this, Gaga?

I ain't gonna be around forever, Russell.

When I go, I want you to bury me on this hill, under this shade tree, with this

hang glider. That way, when zombie times come, I'll be able to attack from

above. Oh, Gaga, you're gonna be around for a long time.

You want your healthy stick?

Thank you.

Ain't never too early to think about prevention.

This here is called mountain dancing. I wasted my life doing this. I'll rest

easy knowing that you made the same stupid choice as I do.

Okay. It's a simple step. Follow my lead.

1 and a 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and a 6 and a 7 and 8 and

9 and a 10 and 11 and a 12. 45 and 46 and 47 and

48.

And 49.

Now you try.

Okay, so is it a one and a two? No, no, that's not like it at all. To be a

dancing fool, you gotta be smart and a meat up here. Where the opinions get

repeated from.

You put your hat there for the money.

Make sure you flip it over now. The open part up.

That's a trade secret.

You say something about money? I knowed it. I spent that money long ago, son.

Then you won't mind if I do. Go on, see if I care.

Ain't no money down here.

Ain't no money down here neither.

Damn it to hell.

Ain't no money down here neither.

Hey, boy, speaking of digging, remember that time I took you fishing that time?

Them ain't got nothing to do with each other but yes.

I was but a young 'un. Give me all your worms and nightcrawlers. Now, now, now.

They'll solve trouble, hook you right in your belly button.

This is a bait raid.

Hey, hey, Daddy. You mean these? Are you out of your mind?

I said no witnesses.

This has gotten all out of hand.

Take them hostage.

Yeah, you made me kill one worm every hour.

Yeah, that was a long, confusing night.

Gaga, Gaga, you okay?

Gaga! Witchery!

Gumming up my lungs! Yes, the enemy's got this thing!

Light it! Light it up!

Thar, that's better.

Gaga! Gaga!

Gaga! No!

You won't never thar from me when I was young.

And you ain't cheering for me now.

Cause you dead.

The circle will be unbroken.

Bye and bye, Lord.

Bye and bye.

Elvira, oom -papa, oom -papa, oom -papa, mao -mao.

They're the only two songs you used to play, Gaga.

Now look at you, a fire in heaven, playing them on a Gentile's harp.

That's the only way you'd allow that kind of instrument in your band.

Yeah, he could be real picky about his races.

I'm just glad I could hit it before life quit it.

Come on, y 'all. He told me he wanted to be buried with his hang glider. So he

can rain death down from above during zombie times? Hell, not on my watch.

Early, I realize this is a delicate time.

But this isn't going to be another one of those dig and dash deals, is it?

they told me he spent the money a long time ago.

And right now, I guess I believe him.

Is that a bag of money down there? You say money? What money down there?

Look,

I got...

Hallelujah. Bring for us the money.

That must be why he picked this spot. He wanted us to find it.

Dear Ernie, I told you I'd spend all the money, but it was to buy these

collectible teeny weeny beeny wincies.

Nobity animals.

I got you again.

Gaga, Giga, Peep -Pop.

Whatever your dad.

A bunch of teeny weeny beeny wincies.

Get out of the hole, Gaga Peep -Pop.

You're under arrest.

Hey, Sheriff. Come on.

He's dead. Don't make me shoot you. You're talking to a dead man, Sheriff.

Sheriff! I'll do it to your other knee now. He's dead!

Oh, he's dead?

Oh, this is a funeral.

Uh, yeah.

Oh.

It's a tragedy any time you lose somebody, ain't it?

Not every time.

I just washed down the river.

I stayed at foot for many years.

A garden is a table for all seasons.

Those seasons bring me joy.