Original subtitles

My dreams were all dead and buried.

Sometimes a weird sun would just explode.

When God comes and calls me to his kingdom.

My name's all you sons of bitches. Right on.

You sons of bitches.

Hey, baby, you want to party?

Yeah, we are partying. In fact, this is my son's birthday party. If you'll

excuse me. I got some candy in this piñata.

Damn it! I said no way, no how, is no collar woman ever going to

herself at no young 'un's birthday party. Collar woman's hook at the truck

And don't move out of here. Forget it. Oh, those truck stop pros were uppity

trannies. Plus, the cost of diesel's drying up the trucker money. Yep.

It's a race to the bottom.

Don't y 'all be blaming this on no marketational forces.

Hey, where's that birthday boy?

You sure that's what you're looking for, sugar?

Uh -huh. How about you let me twist up that big old balloon here?

No, I'm just here for...

He was hot enough for a freebie. Ain't no carnival clown gonna touch a collar

without paying truck stop prices.

Oh, my God, Daddy. You did it. You did it, Daddy.

Oh, yeah.

I'm the best clowning now, boy.

Yeah, you are the best.

Yeah.

I am the best.

You did not raise this boy right.

How about taking it easy on that clown body, son?

Let's let the dead have their rest. This is awesome.

I ain't got to buy no clown makeup.

Not those yahoos. And what is a clowny freak?

Oh, it's some dumbass rap band that dresses like clowns.

Fans are mostly trailer park nerds. Hey, listen to me now, dadgummit. You're

stepping up to Satan's big time now.

Don't make me unleash the power of the clowny daggers. Lift up your shirt,

woman. Hell, she ain't wore a shirt since 89.

What'd you think he's wore?

A big old floppy chin?

I get that sometimes.

Well, looks like these clowny folks sure has helped your confidence.

Demanding a titty flash like you done.

Good for you, boy.

Thanks, Daddy.

Cloudy daggers, Daddy.

Yep, cloudy watts and such.

Corrupt yourselves. This weekend, it's the one and motherfucking only.

Festival of the Clowny Free. Come on down to the Dougal County Airfield for

competitive pig sucking, wrestling on tag, donkey rides, slapping at buzz. A

who makes puppets have sex. Yo mama.

An actual murderer.

Balloons for the kid.

17 stages of horror rap. Chopped up meat by products that look twisted. Tell us

a special surprise guest.

This Sunday, Clowny Daggers, y 'all. Clowny Daggers!

Oh, it's the devil. You got me pinned with your devil claws.

Hurry up and sodomize me.

Oh, I hate it.

Uh, Granny. I will bury your Satan baby on earth. And we're going to name him

Damien. Because I always thought I was such a pretty name. Granny. Is it true

what they say?

You got a goat horn on your donger? Granny. I can take it. I just want to

what I'm in for.

Oh, you dust farting half whip. It's just rusty.

These are them rapping clowns now.

They ain't just rapping clowns. They're traveling bottom into my teenage anger

and family structure I never had.

Isn't that crap?

Boy, what are you doing to my plug it up brown novelty joke court? What you give

to somebody who just ate the baked beans?

That's all I got left of my mama. I'm making me some grease paint.

So just chill your ass out, me and Ninja.

Clowny dagger. All right, that's it. Your happiness just walked all the hell

over my damn convenience.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, early.

Go easy on the boy. What the? He's a good soldier for the Clowny Empire.

Sheriff, you in the best mess, too?

You bet. At first, I was undercover trying to find out who kept stuff and

flaming dog poop in my mailbox.

But after a while, I realized the Clowny lifestyle appealed to me.

I saw what the fuss was about, and look at me now. Already three steps up on the

ziggurat of the Clowny Daggers. Ninja Hood is imminent. All right, Sheriff.

on, Clowny Daggers. Clowny Daggers, Russell.

Listen, Early, you might ought to try this, too. You know, they say the family

that plays together stays together.

It's time to get Clowny up in here, you heard?

Doc Gallifant's the marchin' in. Now trap yourself.

Well, the clowny freak philosophy does have a certain elegance to it. I'll give

it that. That's right, Early. This stuff proves it. Just because rap came from

black people don't mean it can't be every bit as white trash as you and me.

Oh, hell yeah! I like me some of that! Come on.

Get your clown on, Ninja. Hell yeah! Woo!

Let's do it!

You want yourself a fruity soda drink?

Sure.

We were just having fun, Daddy. I'm about to show you some funny rap now.

You'd have adjusted for the wind, I guess. You better go check on that.

Yeah.

Cloudy, what's been put?

Oh, baby! Hell yeah!

There you go!

Ah,

damn it.

I'll tell you what, boys.

I've been in the KISS Army, and for a time I was a Travis trick -kicker. Trick

-kicking trooper, Travis.

But all that... It was just a warm -up for this right here.

I am home.

Daddy, you gonna cry? Leave me be.

I just got some clowny makeup in this here eye. That's all.

Well, ain't this beautiful?

A lot of sheriffs would frown on aiding and abetting a day -long crime spree in

the name of father -son harmony.

But you know what?

They're the real evil circus clowns.

Boy, you are a twist this year. Ain't I just a dick?

Clowny daggers, y 'all. Clowny daggers.

Finally. I thought that son of a bitch was going to tag along all night.

Touch up your face, boy. We're about to find out how many clowns we can cram

into a stolen car.

Well, I guess it's just two.

Where are we going, Daddy? To the natural stolen crown of the clown.

Okay, it's that time of night.

Anybody here from the freak show, line up.

Cash up, front monster. I don't do titty sex.

Look out now.

There's only room for one gang of freaks in this town, and they be crowded

freaks. We ain't exactly rival gangs now.

Look what we got here, boy.

We going surf and turf.

Easy, man.

I work in a freak show, and I'm the last in line to see a prostitute. Is that

not enough?

Daddy, being a clown freaks about outcasts pulling together and being a

and everything.

Hey, lay off early.

You ain't paid yet.

Listen to the name, punk.

Oh, is that how you want to play it? Huh? Is that it?

Uh, Daddy?

Daddy, what you doing? I'll burn this whole place to hell for I am the demon

himself! Woo!

Clowny daggers, baby!

That's how you know it was a success.

Clownic daggers. I don't know, Daddy. I mean, it's going to take a lot of clown

makeup to cover this.

It's all right.

I ain't got no more nerves up there to give me hassles.

Plus, me and you go to the park and set a fire to a homeless.

It's the way of the clown.

Maybe we ought to just hit the hay, Daddy. I mean, it's 4 .30 in the

What's on tap for tomorrow night? A couple of gestures of getting fucked

there in Satan's Big Top?

Actually, you know, I'm kind of thinking about maybe wiping off the makeup for a

day or two.

Clowny vacay, you know?

I see.

Surely you ain't forgetting what today is.

Festival of the Clowny Freak. You know you like you some puppets getting busy,

son. You know what?

You ought to go.

You take Sheriff with you. Oh, son, I'm sorry. My fault. I thought you had a

pair of clowny testicles on you. Don't go there, Daddy. Oh, son, you're the one

what done pulled up in a can of Fedora's Box wide -ass open. Now, listen there,

now. I'm really happy we're getting all activitational together, but I'm kind of

realizing clowning was just a phase.

New thing is reading.

Chapter books.

You ever read you some Super Fudge? Now that is wild.

Surely you have time for a quick fruity soda throwdown for old time's sake.

It's a natural part of any clowny schedule.

Daddy, I am sorry, but I just don't think I can get clowny no more, Daddy.

Bam! Bam!

Yourself!

Soldier, break it up. I don't need you.

I don't need you at all. No, Daddy, come back.

Oh, two devils.

Satan does like to pull him some chains, I suppose.

I just go to the festival myself.

I got a whole crown armor to rest my head on.

Cloudy diapers.

Old guy with a bat. What the hell? It's symbolism.

The bat is like my fractured youth.

Now get him the f*** out of here.

Hell no. I'm going to get me a damn belt buckle.

All right, all right. Dragon by the merch tent.

Louisville thugger to your capriole.

Oh, damn. They got a bat.

Those crazy motherf***ers. They got a bat.

What? Hey, we're getting a bat. Two crazy motherf***ers.

You came from the morning!