Original subtitles

She run off and took our only chicken.

When I broke jail, the house was burnt and bare.

The Japs moved the plant back to Osaka.

Some days life just don't seem that fair.

I don't care.

Some days life just don't seem that fair.

Drive that thing, come on. Touch the trim.

Here we are, boy.

Woo, I'm at the fair. Don't you say I never don't do nothing for you. Even if

did, it's factual.

Sorry, daddy. Can I, can I ride something now? Yeah, you go on hopping

little blue rocket ship up there.

Woo, all right.

Off to the moon. Come on, take a picture of me. Woo, I'm going to space.

Woo, I'm an explorer.

All right. To the big ride.

Yippee.

We good here, right, Hulk? Aye.

I clearly meet the height requirements to tie that son of a bitch up, do I not?

You're standing on my eye.

Whatever, man.

It was so high, man.

You want me to sit on the safety bar or the cushy part?

Make it your own, bro.

Woo!

Woo! Woo!

Woo!

Hell yeah!

Granny, look here. Hold your hands up like this. It's fun.

I'm afraid.

Hold your hands up, you dumb bitch.

Woo! Now stand up like this. Woo!

I love it, baby!

scratch on me.

I mean, my neck, my back.

I'll never do job work again.

Oh, thank you, honey.

Granny!

Somebody get an ambulance!

Oh, no!

This was clearly propertated on somebody else's purposes.

Potential financial rainfall imminent.

Oh, jackpot!

All right, Earley.

Tell me what happened here.

Well, officer, last thing I remember was we was buckled in safely on the ride

with our hands and feet in the vehicle at all times in accordance with the

common sense and the park rules.

Well, your hat, your button, and your mug seemed to say different early.

And your baseball jersey and your poster and what I hope is a temporary tattoo.

You hang on, little gal.

I'll say when, okay?

Come on, Maddie. We need to go with her.

Yeah, we'll knock that out.

Well, then. They're leaving now.

You gonna meet us at the hospital?

Oh, is that where y 'all going?

Yeah, sure. We'll get there.

Okay. All right. Bye.

Catch you on the block now.

Is that a new earring there, Ernie? Yep.

Shiny things appeal to me.

It's my nature. You know, Early, that earring looks damn near as close to this

as it could be to the ride.

Sorry,

Boyd. Damn thing's got another investigation to do.

Early, you stick around here. Don't you leave town.

Hang on, hang on. Don't the law say I'm supposed to get me some monies on here?

Well, you might have a civil suit here, I think. Might, you know, be a

possibility.

Damn it.

Civil suit.

Yeah, he did mention Renton that blimp. Yes, that's where it has always been

extremely litigious.

I ain't getting off the toll ship in this mail.

I'm suing. I'm suing. And there ain't no damn lactation room

provided for breastfeeding mamas. I'm suing. There's no two -way mirror in the

lactation room provided for young mamas. Hell, I'm suing. There ain't no company

provided for breastfeeding mamas.

as required by OSHA. Let me guess, you're suing, right?

We have discussed this with our lawyer, and I'm prepared to make you an offer of

one Glug brand Boozy Susan Get the Party Started kit with hat attachments, of

course. So spanny.

So spanny shiny.

So, uh, what's the catch?

There's no catch, exactly. All we need is your signature on these forms

relinquishing us from all responsibility.

Hey, give me a pen there. How you be spelling that? No, Daddy, no, no. Now,

was actually thinking that this would be a good starting point. Right here.

700 American dollars.

No, you need them other pages. Hey, Daddy, get him a denim two through seven

the handout.

Here you go.

You just place them all together in a big old line.

Like a big old long money choo -choo. Money train, money train, money money

train.

Cashy, cashy train.

Hmm.

This is more along the lines of what I was thinking.

All right.

I'm going to write down a figure here, and you tell me if this will work.

Hmm. I call it truck -a -peed. I like to call it a truck -a -peller. Truck -a

-piller. Point is, I want it. You give it to me.

So, uh...

Think that'll settle this whole affair? No.

We'll see you in court.

You're lucky I'm paralyzed by grief.

I'm so damn sad on the count I lost my granny because of your ass.

Actually, I heard she's doing a lot better. You what now?

Nine.

And ten.

What now?

Hey, hey. Are you out of your damn mind? Come on now.

Exercising like this. I'm about to do my super set.

You're going to ruin every damn thing. Granny. Granny, you okay? Hey, aren't

you? A new exercise and a good diet would lead you to a healthier lifestyle.

I ain't felt this good in all my 48 years. Crazy asshole bitch. Oh, Granny,

thought you was dead for sure. Me too.

I was lying under that twisted wreckage and I seen a light.

Oh, boy.

It's finally time.

I'm ready, Lloyd.

Did she just call me Lloyd?

I am.

See if you can push it back. Just schedule it after the holidays. She'll

Hey, what's all this?

What's going on?

Let me go now. Jesus is waiting for me.

I guess the Lord had a higher purpose. No, hell he don't. You've got to run. My

entire case relies on you. You know, your money, testimony.

You know, your damn public hockey.

All right, all right, Mr. Kyler. You may proceed.

Thank you, Judge.

I call Russell Kyler to the stand.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth,

told it to you to tell you with the exact verbiage I done told you to say

it? I do.

Early, you just swore he meant on the July issue of Sweater Mate.

Yeah, that.

All right, go ahead. Young man, do you remember the story we carefully made up

so that we could make this whole courtroom thing come out our way so it'd

gooder than hell at the top?

Yes, sir. No further questions.

Rusty, tell me how it's been for you these last few days.

Oh, it ain't been bad. I mean, Granny's actually been doing better.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a nightmare.

I can't eat. I can't sleep.

Thinking about how that terrible ride took my Granny from me. I mean, hell, I

ain't even able to drink and see whores like I normally do. That's my part.

Oh, yeah, right. I see you highlighted that. Anyway, I don't think I'll ever be

able to ride a...

Again? Mm -hmm. Nailed it. Yeah, interesting.

Well, tell me, is this a photograph of you?

I don't recall.

You don't recall if you were on the ride yesterday?

I do not have knowledge of that. Well, what about the day before that?

I do not recall. And the day before that? Well, I suppose... And again this

morning? I can't be expected to keep track of every time I've been able to

that kick -ass ride that got out there by the pig ride. Hold on, hold on,

Hold on now. Are you telling me... That this ride is still open?

Even after all the tragedy?

Woo! Free sale! Yeah, I told you! Of course, it don't quite seem as fast as

before. Can we ride it again? Well, this is the discovery phase.

I'll allow it.

I now call Ruby Jean Kyler to the stand.

Now, this year is going to have to be a closed coffin testimony, Judge.

What did you say?

She's ill and very dead and quite zombified.

Wait, what?

Granny Collar, if that's your real name.

Do what now?

Is it true that you're one of them zombies what died and come back to talk

on account of his ride fell and killed you dead?

No. A simple yes will do. Let the record state that yes was the word what come

out of the coffin. I'm getting claustrophobic.

We'll strike that from a record. Would it be accurate to say that my client

craves a brand new truck -a -peed?

On account of this whole deal here?

I guess so. And let the record state that he should have one. Could I please

just open the letters? Thank you, no further questions. No further questions,

zombie!

A zombie, eh?

Isn't this gelatinous organ something that the zombies of the world supposedly

crave? And yet, you sit idly by.

Oh. Oh, she is eating it.

Oh, good.

I ain't a zombie.

It's just we don't get much protein out here.

If you ain't no zombie, then you ain't dead. Wait, wait. And he ain't suffered

no loss. No. So he can't claim any cash reward from him. No. I hereby dismiss

this case. Wait, wait, no.

What are you doing? Come on, we can work it out.

I'm going to be the bigger man and put all this bitterness behind us. Don't

leave. Let's work it out.

Wait a minute.

This is. It's a drunken piece.

You ain't going to settle with me.

Give it to me. I want it. It's mine.

My damn foot. Damn it.

I'll never walk again.

I'm going to see you. I'm going to see you right now.

Okay, fine.

What do you want?

Joke's on him.

It won't my foot.

It's a damn second penis. I won't even use it.

A fool and his money.

Together again.

No.