Original subtitles

Get your Yankee ass off my property.

Don't care if the bank gave you a deed.

This farm's been kind of land for generations.

Since we beat back them sneaky Japanese.

In the war of 1812, bring our boys home.

Hey, hold on. Hey, man, let me drive that thing. Come on.

Hey, man, cut the trim.

Hey, Early.

You're not up here to vandalize the water tower, are you?

Only the roof.

As per our agreement. The deal is deal, I guess.

Don't you worry about me. Now, you just hold up your end, and you tell the

people I said it says fart up here now.

I'm the one what done it. All right.

So, uh, you up here to jump? Commit you some suicide?

Yeah. Finally realize the futility of your tiny life?

No, I'm just performing a routine test as drinking water.

Pointless.

Isn't that Denny? He was supposed to come skim off the pigeon film.

Hey, what do you think if I add a Z to the end of fart? You know, farts.

Would that be fresh?

Hmm. Not too much fly feces. Not too little.

But, boy, that fluoride's just way off.

What's fluoride, Sheriff?

Basically, Rusty, it's steroids for your teeth.

Makes them strong and cocky.

Like an old -up muscle boy.

In your mouth, the go -go cave.

I don't think I get that.

Yeah, when you're older, son.

Sir?

Uh, Mr. Halen.

Mr. Halen, are you aware that state law requires you to add one part per million

of fluoride to the water supply? Yes, well, I'm sure your precious one ppm is

there somewhere. Check again.

I've checked and double -checked. Personally, ain't none in there at all.

the molecules.

Sometimes the fluoride gets jammed down between the spray paint particles.

Uh, Mr. Halen, come on.

All right, dammit. I'm going to tackle this issue head -on.

Barack Hussein!

Obama is sneaking fluoride into your drinking water.

What are you doing? What?

Fluoride? That's right, that's right. The chemical fluoride in your drinking

water. Why? Why?

To sterilize your testicles. We don't need no damn government.

You're too, ladies.

They want to abort your thinking, breathing sperm before you can even plan

afternoon of vigorous masturbation. This is not accessible to what that is. I

don't accept this. I say life begins at arousal. No blood!

I'll tell you what they better not think. They better not think. They also

they can whoop your ass.

Metal cave hole? Hell no.

You better get the hell on out right now.

Get his ass up here.

Are you down there?

Why be it ain't down there?

I don't know.

I'm sorry, Earley. I know you got all ginned up for it.

Well, ain't we got some water down by the lake?

around when the beat on it gets all crazy.

Oh, I know.

Let's freeze some and then we can smash it. Hell yeah, man. Hell yeah, we gonna

freeze it. Well, you know, I say that, but, you know, I ain't got in the

or nothing.

woman and your impact on the environment ain't supposed to be let's go up to the

convenience store and buy a bag of ice and then we can oh i lost the crowd

uh -oh daddy what is that counter -attack all

right boy

we're gonna have to detonate this damn water send it back to

Closer.

Ah, damn, too close. I told you not that damn close. And what'd you do? You put

it too close.

At it again.

You think maybe we ought to keep some of this drinking water?

You know, maybe for a hydra, hydratational. No, no, boy.

Just go down to the dollar and buy you some more of these Chronicles of Riddick

squishy laser energy balls.

Ah, ooh, chipped another.

Well, that of you, you're losing a lot of teeth then.

Small price to pay, as long as I can hold on to my principles.

This ain't water. Yeah.

Some kind of Chinese fluid sauce.

You know, good for the sax drive, I reckon.

Early, you do know the fluoride's already out of the water, don't you?

that might be true.

Yeah. But these here Van Diesel brains help my moods. Hey, Daddy, my teeth are

getting all loosey -loosey. They're moving around in my mouth and

Correct. At least, boy, we gonna go to Washington and send a message. And just

what would that message be?

That we gonna, that we don't gotta, that, well, that we, we ain't got no

damn teeth no more.

Ah, reverend, welcome.

Oh, oh.

Blended. Step right up and let me have a look at that.

shitlin' smeared armpit you call a mouth.

You,

sir, need a pair of our finest injection -molded canine -enhanced jawbone

snappers. You look like about a twelve, I think. Go ahead, try them. Well,

they're a little sharp. That's three hundred dollars, and I'll throw in

Flatterproof back and butt tarp for free. Wait. This is a vampire cave. Stop

banning Halloween and I won't have a surplus. Now get out. And tell your

if they ever want to chew again, they need to come to me.

Me.

Damn it, Daddy. Why'd you give them hard shell tacos?

Take it down, Tortellian. Shut up.

Well, these taco shards aren't gonna feel too damn good going down.

I know what I'm going through. Here we go.

Fine chips.

Good as teeth.

away the tiny food bits mixed with my spit and get all soft so I can swallow

them down my neck tube.

Hey,

Rustin, over here.

I smuggled this in for you, so brush up.

Me and the boys will keep a lookout for the gummies.

I'm going to take real good care of you.

You and me, we're going to be tuning for a real long time.

Aha! You sneaky devils.

Goons, search their lips.

No, no, no.

I will never be like you. I want to cheer.

I want to cheer. Why can't you just go along with the mob mentality?

Daddy, help me. I done told you a thousand times, boy.

Don't never exhale.

No, no, no. No, you're going to lynch me. You're going to lynch me. No, no.

This ain't so bad.

The prisoners will come with me, where I'll administer some torture they can

really sink their tooth into.

Please, you have to help me. What's the matter with you? You're saving money. Of

course I am, but several of my other divisions are suffocating. My once

line of knob or ham bone, my shoe leather pizza purses are rotting on the

shelves. My bubble gum on the cob? For God's sake, you have to help me.

Talk sense into them. I think I got an idea that'll help you out here, Mr.

Halen.

Now, my idea was to buy everybody a set of dentures.

Yeah, I like my plan better. Keep chewing.

Just make it half -mushed. I'll do the rest with my nuggets.

Here you go, Ernie.

You got a little left.

Right here. Let me get that.

Delicious.