Original subtitles

He ran off and took our only chicken.

When I broke jail, the house was burnt and spared.

The Japs moved the plant back to Oaxaca.

Some days life just don't seem that fair.

I don't even care. I'm telling you, I just don't give a damn. Hey, man, let me

drive that thing. Come on. Cut the trim.

All right, listen up now. The sack race is about to commence.

On my mark. Can I dump out these rocks? No, no, son. That's ballast weights.

Momentum stone.

On my mark. Why ain't you got no sack, Daddy? Boy, I do without so you can have

the things that I can't have.

Yeah, by me. You save your breath with a race.

But I can't breathe.

Well, that's to decrease the wind resistance.

Hell, ain't you never learn nothing from watching American Chopper? Something

crawled on my face. Oh, yeah, them's the Motivatical Scorpions. Yeah, I'll put

in a couple for you. They're going to fastetize you. Jesus is going to guide

to victory anyway.

No help from Jesus. That's cheating.

All right.

Ready? Say it. Will you, Jesus, give me boots for putting rockets like a... No

help from Jesus.

Let's go.

Woo! Hell yeah!

That was a thinking man's victory there.

Dirt burgers are ready.

Come on, get them. The way I left you in the dust. You like that? Damn, it's

like y 'all weren't even racing me.

Where are they? It's family style.

Just scoop your hands together and help yourself.

Is that a win?

You ain't got no dirt right there. It's over there by the dirt balloons and the

dirt pony.

Dirt pony? Dirt pony? Woo!

This is better than last year. Are we done now? Can I go home?

It was nice seeing y 'all. See you in a few years.

Inside, later tonight.

Well, we made pretty good time. Just under four hours, I guess. Is that them?

Come on, Dusty, get on, Dusty, go!

I love you, Dusty.

Yeah. Parker, Posey, have a squirt of anti -vex cereal.

All over your body. Why? Everywhere.

Why do you have to be like that? Your daddy's home is very dirty. Honey,

programming them with fear. Well, look at them. They are literally eating dirt.

Fiona, this is my family. You were smart enough to get your GED and get the hell

out. You don't have to prove a thing to these people. We do every holiday with

your family. Those trips are fun.

Am I funny? loves you. Yeah.

Need a hand? No, I see you've got plenty.

Oh, and your mom always checking where I sat for ink. Always. You have to catch

it before the stain sets. It was one time. One time, Fiona.

It's a defense mechanism.

Daddy wasn't hunting you. He was offering you mashed potatoes.

Look. Can we just not fight?

We're here.

We're in nature.

Look, kids. A squirrel.

I told you they were real. You see it?

Kid?

Damn you're about to enjoy nature.

Chalky wagon at 12 o 'clock.

I've been smelling mayo for 15 minutes.

Damn meringues. They probably want a picnic table.

Hell, they probably reserved it with a creamy white sign -up sheet. Damn

I guess we best whip up some whippy cream. Whip, whip, whippy cream.

The chalky scourge is a ponkstess. Yeah.

We're about to look into this.

They're coming.

Kids, your relatives are coming. Remember what I said about good touch,

touch. Fiona.

Be very scared, kids. Well, now, look who come down from the city with a big

booze. He's kidding. Come on, let's get some hugs here. I have missed you.

You haven't missed?

Hmm, yeah.

Wasn't invited to the wedding.

I get it. It's a numbers game.

Come on, we're family. Give me some sugar. Come on. Honey, he's just kidding

with you. He jokes in a confrontational manner.

Yeah. I do use humor from time to time to mask my true desires about putting

wood to your wife.

I'm going to curl them toes in time, little gal. I'm going to curl them toes

time. Do you want to see some little mixed nuts back there in the back of

car? Come on out here, high breeze, and give your granny a little hug.

No, no. That was a figured speech, you little pistachios. Granny. What?

That's funny as hell, what you just said.

Pistachios. with a wasabi granny scam.

You're younger than just pistachios.

I see you're going for my wallet, you lazy pistachio. That's enough. Some of

work hard for what we have. Please, Granny.

Not like you and your chucky mama. Hey, that's enough. What?

The kids have enough trouble at school without having to hear it from family.

I'm sorry, Durwood.

I just said out loud what I'm going to say again when you leave.

Granny, now Fiona made some potato salad.

Where, um, where do you want to put it? How about up that yogurt -loving chalk

hole you call your ass? Granny. I'm sorry, but once you go white, you ain't

right. That's it. Kids, get in the car. Honey, please let me... Hey, let me get

in that car, too. I'm getting in the car. Hey, Daddy, look at me. I'm inside

car. I'll see you, son.

I am in this car. You hit the big time. Hey, man, where this cold breeze coming

from? Is that wintertime coming out there?

Refrigerate right there.

Paying for our... Well, they got you coming and going, boy. You're probably

paying for water, too.

You must be working you one of them worky jobs. Yeah, I've been an insurance

adjuster for about 14 years.

Nothing exciting, but it pays the bills.

Hell, I wish I could pay my bills.

Understand, I ain't looking for no handouts.

And I will talk about me not having no damn money for quite a while.

There will be some silent moments.

Whilst you ponder my monetatious situations,

I'll make it awkward. Well, I, you know, we don't bring a lot

of cash on trips.

We use, uh... Well, maybe, you know, I could, uh... I

could spot you a little something. No! No money!

Uh -uh. Hey, now, don't listen to her. Come on inside away from the bitch. I'll

give you the tour.

Here's that room I spoke of. Four walls.

This is our window.

And there's a roach.

And there's the roach's family, right there, right there. A bird in his skin.

Can I take a cold and go through it? No, that's okay.

You don't recycle, do you?

Motorcycle? Never mind. Motocross? I'll just keep it. Place it in the old cargo

shorts. All right, let's talk some business here.

Everybody says, you know, you gotta have money to make money, right?

My issue is I ain't got no damn money. I'm still paying off my college and butt

cheeks. Yeah, those pharmaceutical companies can really stick it to you. So

them turpentine companies.

$3 .99 for this?

And now it's gone.

This here is a legitimate business expense for me.

Oh, you started a business. Can I give you the pitch?

Now, that there is that unicorn from that Cheyenne Cinnamon movie, what the

Burger Lord been giving out. That's worth upwards of $3.

See, it ain't no game no more.

I don't think I remember this movie. Don't touch it.

Fingerprints congratulate the valuation of it. You put the whole operation in

jeopardy. Dumbass. Is there a business plan here? You bet.

Plan to make a fortune.

Back up.

Let it appreciify.

Wait. Watch.

Listen.

Coins. Monies.

Okay. Rusty, you're pretty quiet. How's school?

Look out for my kitchen. I've been trying to clean it.

Oh, look.

He's got a touch of the lockjaw again.

God forbid the things this boy's going to drag home when he's dating age. Did

not get any immunization?

Immigration.

He's legal to this country. He's American. No, no, no. Like medical

Oh. Medicine.

Well, his grandmama handles the medicines.

Bow our heads. You two do it.

Jesus, please place this boy in the magic bubble free from Satan's germs and

copay -provoking sneezes. Amen.

Amen. Immunitation updated.

Another well -baby visit complete.

Ah. Well, our jaw is pretty serious.

People usually get it from running around barefoot in animal feces.

Oh, I'd love to shoe the boy, but I'm an alcoholic.

We did order one of them shoe trees from the catalog.

But we had that drought, you know, and she bore no shoe fruit.

I bet we have an extra, what, six pairs at the house.

Well, you got some shoes in the city where you're from. Now, Durwood, you

how I feel about handouts.

Cash is much more flexible. For hell, cash is king.

Oh, yeah, I read the hat. Daddy, can I show Uncle Derwood my art project?

Must we do this?

I made this for you, Uncle Derwood.

Thank you, Rusty. I've had butt wipes that had more concept and design.

You do understand what I'm saying, Uncle Derwood. I made this for you. Derwood

don't want none of your gibbered babble that wouldn't make that talky words.

You know what? I have an idea.

What if we took Rusty off your hands for a couple days?

How long's a day? Give you a break. I'll bet it's tough being a single dad up

here. No, no, it's easy.

It's time to the shoe tree till the race is over. Well, maybe we could time to

our tree in the city where we could feed him and clothe him and educate him. And

come back gay.

Hell, I know that story.

I'll tell you what. I'll give you $20.

Now, if you have any problems or need to get a hold of us, here's our numbers.

Number. Number one.

Bulldog!

Hey,

can I plug this into my ears? You know, like I got, like a robot?

That, the garage drawer opener.

We'll figure it out.

We can clean out the garage. We can put a cot there. I'll talk to the principal.

We'll make this work.

Right?

Honey?

He has lockjaw, for Christ's sakes!

Well, then we'll leave this alabaster cousin and make some damn good tater

salad. Boy, I sure hope I don't never bring him back no more.

Well, then ain't the steak gonna stop giving us that buddy check?

Wait! Get on back here!

Bring him back here!

It's wrong the way they took you from your daddy!