Original subtitles

I gave all my best year to that woman.

All she gave me was mouths to feed.

A miracle straight from the launch of Jesus.

Since Charlie blew off both my territories.

1969, Cameron Bay.

Hey, man, don't drive that thing. Come on. Touch the trim.

All right.

Bar's closed.

Yes, ma 'am. You ain't got to go home. But you can't.

Actually, Early, I'm talking to you.

Oh, come on, now. The night is gone.

The night is gone.

Well, I guess I'll call it a night.

Just let me get me three of them frozen mojitos and the Kenny Chesney collector

boots for the road.

We don't do to -go order.

All right, then I'll have them here.

I'm just pulling your pud, Alice.

I gotta get on to work. How about just having somebody drop off them chastity

boots to me up at my office place?

Uh, hey, Earley. Huh? Huh? What do you say?

You got a ride home, ain't you? You bet your ass I do. I got the need for speed.

And Dickie sells that two counties over, so I got to get on the road here.

Sorry, son, but you ain't about to take that truck out of here.

Yeah, you're right. You're right.

I'll take the boat.

Irving. Now who wins?

Irving, come on, man.

Hey!

Fine, I get it. I got a problem.

Lookie here, Jingle Jackal! Irving, come on, quit it. You know I got that issue

with Mark, isn't it? Whoa!

Yo, get the hell away!

We got a 10 -51 outside the Jiggle Hut.

It's quite sad.

Inside the Jiggle Hut.

Officer in pursuit.

So you see, while rage may be momentarily

satisfying,

it is not necessarily the answer to every problem. It helped that OJ make

wife stop cheating on him.

Yeah, rage did kind of pretty much work out in that one instance there.

What about DUI?

Attempted vehicular homicide?

destruction of property.

Now, calm down, Ellis. You're gonna have to deal with your anger, too, here,

sport. I got hit by a truck inside my own bar.

He should be in jail.

And what's this guy doing here? He's not angry. He's a freak.

Now, I told y 'all, everybody's gonna be here in anger management until we

finish the jail renovation.

That's why the sales tax got jacked up? To renovate the jail? For that son of a

bitch? Well, he did make some requests, and...

We are at the service of our constituents, you know. I told you now,

breaking the law over in Cold Quick County where they got the TiVo and the

pillar -top mattresses. They should be in jail.

I'm about to catch up on my mad men. All right, everybody, just calm down now.

Let's get on track here.

I want everybody here to look over at your hug buddy. Look him right in the

Well, shoot, let's see. We got uneven numbers here. Early, so you're going to

have to work with the CPR doll.

Early. We working. Yeah.

We working.

Just... I don't give a damn if it was a doll, Early. No means no. Come on,

nothing but a back rub. Back rubs happen on the outside.

With hands. You got to pick everything apart.

I'm out here busting my hump trying to give back to those who helped me. Yeah,

you're giving back. But don't forget, you're also doing the community service

hours you were...

Sentenced to. The point is, I'm reinvesting in the community. Okay, that

true. But to be fair, Early... Helpless acts for the good of all. Well, let's

just be clear now. You're also giving back because you were told to.

By a cord of law. Don't lord it over me. All right. I'm sitting here paying it

forward, and you want to light a damn fire?

Where'd you get them shoes?

They're mine from home.

Wingtips, huh?

You bet.

Brand new, too.

Hell, I'm going to put my best foot forward while I'm serving the community

my own choice.

Where's your trash bag, Early? I felt it up.

Oh, come on. Ain't no damn way you counted the 400 yet.

This damn jail can't hold me, baby.

No jail can hold my ass.

Fernando and the boys, they needed a couple of weeks more, so it looks like

going to have to release you.

I'll get rid of this dear chapel, put a flat screen here, open up the whole

room. But I'm going to tell you this right now.

If you so much as raise a finger to anybody in this community, I'm going to

to bring you right back over here and release you all over again.

Are we clear on that?

Crystal. All right.

Mighty fine.

Crystal? Ain't that the name of his ex -wife?

Early. No. Me and you was about to have words, little gal.

Stop in the name of the law.

Oh, my baby bride.

She was so young, so fine.

What in the hell have I done?

What the hell did you do to my decoy?

Oh, Crystal, you're alive.

Oh, I use that to retain my squatter's rights while I go down to get my

milkshake on.

If I can't have you, nobody will. Get out of here. Hey, uh -oh. Early.

It's time to make a change.

I know better. That ain't all.

This here is an outrage.

Come on. Keep a pilot.

Who watches the watchman?

Really? A grenade launcher, huh? Self -defense.

I'm not afraid to do this now.

Oh, it's my 19th Amendment right.

That's for that win.

Where did that damn go?

Damn, you take all the guns, all the criminals will have guns. There it is.

Put that back. I'm using that to prop up my face.

Sorry.

That hat, too, early.

Whoa, now. This hat is licensed and registered with the state. Then why'd

mark out that serial number?

Ah, damn it.

No!

My anger is destroying both me and Charlie Daniels, both.

It's time to get on with the healing now, early.

Whoa, what happened here?

Get out.

Now, don't surprise me with all the damn beers and alcohol you serve. Get out.

Now, stay on message, early. Never mind.

Ice tea for me, barkeep. Get out.

Look, Ellis, I'm sorry for what I've done.

You are a victim.

And in a way, we all victims of your tendency to over -serve me. Get out. But

it's all right. I forgive you. Hey, let's celebrate.

Recognize any alcohol in these barnhouses? Early. Give me a second.

some out.

Get out.

All right, let's go, Early.

Healing takes time. Time won't heal my spine.

They said it's degenerative now.

Early!

Little gal, I'm sorry we had so much trouble communicating.

You know what they say.

Mans are from Mars, and womans are from the ribs of them mans.

But where's the cheating horrors come from?

I do not know.

I suppose I ought to ask your mama. Early! Oh, I'm sorry.

Darling? I ain't here to gloat.

I'm here to build a bridge.

Crystal.

Oh, damn decoy. Oh, that's me. I'm just ignoring you. Damn it. Early.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Darling, what can I do?

How can I make it right?

Well, you can run this camera.

What the?

We need cutaways for the money shot.

Is this the sumbitch that gave you the gonorrhea? Now, that ain't the one that

make you blind, is it? God, it ain't blinding me yet.

Mama likes what mama sees.

Well, let's get this done.

Hold on.

Let me quiet balance.

Now for my final apologies to those I've hurt the most and who mean the most

to me.

To you, possum.

It was about meat, my friend.

Nothing personal.

And you, whatever you are, I shouldn't have never hunted you with dynamite.

Hopefully your pieces will reassemble in heaven.

And finally to you, Terry Trout.

No apology necessary.

Never was a welfare check spent more wisely.

Daddy, uh, you gonna apologize to us, too? For what?

Well, there was that one time when I...

I don't remember none of that.

Random isolated answer dance. Hold on now. Some of them things took planning

consideration. Some of them things you even had this team for. Hold on now.

Yeah!

I love it. I love it.

Oh. Daddy?

See? Wind chime.

We've got an open door policy here now. We just ask that you keep it closed out

of respect for my authority.

What the hell? This ain't 2 HD.

It's an upgrade.

Looky here. I can see all kinds of digital noise in this compression.

I mean, come on.

I don't. It's supposed to be just as good. Well, you didn't get the damn Blu

-ray like I asked for, did he? A damn antique.

I'm gone.

I think I ain't Steve's pretty. Blu -ray, Denny. Damn it.