Original subtitles

Get your Yankee ass off my property.

Don't care if the bank gave you a deed.

This farm's been kind of land for generations.

Since we beat back them sneaky Japanese.

In the war of 1812, bring our boys home. Hey, man, let me drive that thing. Come

on. Touch the tram.

The tender, juicy, deep -fried pine booby.

There are only a precious few of them left.

And each day, their fragile habitat is compromised by an exciting

new shopping experience.

Pavement Plain Super Mall.

A mall where we sell malls. That's how big it is. Let's see where the booby

then.

So, join the hunt, won't you?

Bag a booby and you will receive a coupon for free zippy rings at the

Engorgerie. But remember, I must have you alive.

Three zippy rings?

Get the dynamite, son.

May the best species win.

Daddy, I think he said he wants him alive.

Oh, fine.

Back me my compound bow.

There you go, Daddy.

Ain't no such a thing as a firefight.

The titanium quills. You trying to cripple me here?

She's beautiful.

Look at that golden, buttery plumage.

Created to perfection.

What a magnificent beast.

Oh, my God. It's mating season.

I'm sorry,

Daddy. She just seemed interested in it all.

We got to get her dancing. Get that blood flowing to her sax parts.

Now we're cooking the game.

Go on, boy.

out there the maiden dance well that must mean there's another oh hell hey

here's your steak on the beach and a butter nipple we say we pound these

and see what happens a little gal get back now don't push it on her she needs

feel like she had a choice in the matter boom the jam's in your paint get to the

middle and come take your taste of the groove and we keep it a real smooth get

on the dance floor and make your ass move

It's a boobie, all right.

Tom! 449, Daddy. Hell, yeah. Bring it.

Where are you going?

Sorry, you just drove past my natural habitat back there? She's right. This

truck is not her natural habitat.

I know.

I'm going to drop her off at old Dan Halen's and get me some of them zippy

rings. No, no. Stop the car. I got to get out here.

Settle down now. Settle down. Daddy, she's crying.

That, too. But the market is what the market is.

I'll do whatever you want. I'll suck you.

You. How about you? I'll suck you. I'm a down, now. I ain't no escape. Is it

zippy rings you guys want?

Because, I mean, I've got money. I'll buy you all the zippy rings you want.

could, too. Says right here, the deep -fried pine booby carries up to, but not

more, than $20 in cash.

Money?

Leafy green is plenty money?

Hang on, son. Hang on.

Fireworks, baby! Woo!

Well, all right. There you go, son.

Woo!

Woo!

Come on, Early. Light it again. Light it again, Daddy. Light it again. Nope.

It's a one -shot, Johnny.

But I do know where we can get some more.

What? Don't look at me. I gave you guys my money.

You bought that sparkler, remember?

Sheriff? Well, I threw all my change in the fire. I got so excited. All right,

then. Wait!

Get me some sippy, Wayne.

Look, look, look! I can help you, son.

Look, I can help you, son.

I'm intrigued.

This better be good, boy. Okay, time is short, so I'm going to be frank.

Your, uh, your complexion is, shall we say, not what it could be. Well, you

know, neither is mine.

Acne? You talking about the acne? Yeah.

But I've got great news for you. I'm here to help. My daddy calls it the

disease. See, my personality has to rise above it. Not any longer. Look deep

into my ass.

That's my boy! Phantom of expulsion!

Daddy, my face! Look at my face, Daddy!

I suddenly feel more socially acceptable.

Like all the shame has drained from my body.

Like suddenly, dating.

It's an option. Ah, that's nothing. It's a revolutionary oxy -base secretion

from the anal glands in my tail. And it's changing the face of faces

Does that mean you a Jew?

I'm a... I'm a bird. Early. Uh, would you be interested in listening to some

my anti -Jew rhetoric?

It's pretty damn crazy, but sure holds a crowd.

Early. Wait.

Let me out of here.

Settle down, Granny. Settle down.

This is a country in the middle of Texas.

Three weekends, but then computers ain't included.

Then I got mad and we started yelling. Then I ripped his throat out, ripped my

teeth, and now he's got a hide in his body. Granny, that which you babble on

makes no damn sense to anybody. I'm scared.

Well, I tell you, I done stabbed that Ukrainian. We got to get her back in the

hole. What if I go now? I'm going to meet him on the other side of town. It

tragedy when the body outlives the mind.

Whoa, that's a serious tumor.

Thank you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe you should let me take a lick of that.

Oh, I wish you would.

My cornrows just won't hang right.

Uh, how many cups of coffee do you drink a day? Oh, I don't touch that stuff.

I just pop a few Rattlers in the morning and I got enough fuel to last all day.

Trucker man.

Hillbilly health plan.

Oh, interesting.

All right, let's just go ahead and open your mouth.

They are... Feel my spray!

Oh, you son of a bitch!

Well, looky there.

It's finally gone.

Well,

looky there.

It's finally gone.

Look, I should probably tell you guys that I'm not a doctor, per se. Sure, I

secrete a miracle ointment from my anus. I'm not really licensed to distribute.

What the?

My Tony Stewart Nextel Cup Series Collector Edition Beverage Coaster. I

out a damn survey for that.

And now look at the table. Steady as a rock.

Nailed it. And if you ain't right, it's level like Starbucks. This bird is

smart. This bird is dead.

Oh, man. Will you look at that? I think I fattened something.

Oh, that's awful.

A little club soda would take that. Be buttled.

Bamboozled.

Vision returning.

Scout ping -a -lating.

Confidence?

Restoratized! Damn, son, you look ten years younger.

Give me another squirt. All right, I can put them over here. Do the back.

Sure, sure. I don't want to make it look too heavy, though. I want it to feel

like it has body.

Oh, no. There's no time. Don't forget the crown area now. It's so close. Hide

me. I do like the business up front, but we're going to need a little more party

in the back. Don't mess with it. I didn't even need time to set up.

Fly me in closer.

Load the 15 millimeter.

We're taking out the roof.

I know he's here.

He's mine and I want him.

I don't know what you're talking about. I do.

You're talking about the bird, right? I got the bird. Are we keeping it quiet

about the bird?

I'm prepared to upsize your zippy rings to mega largey.

If the bird is alive.

Megalurgy! My sweet bejesus! The bird's down in the dungeon. Early!

Well, I mean, there ain't no bird here, so you best take him zippy reins and

start a -walkin'. Enough.

I know you're here, bird.

Come take a taste of the groove, and we keeping it real smooth.

Get on the dance floor.

Make your booty move.

Come on, everybody!

Oh, God.

Oh. Oh.

And match. Hail it.

What about them zippy rings?

A lie.

Do not spill a drop.

Each one is precious.

No one takes anything out of here.

All right, here's the deal. I'm going to double back from the east and cause a

diversion. Now you two. Early collar.

Oh, hell.

Give it a burn. Or the bird dies.

Go ahead.

Do it.

But I want the bird.

No. The bird is mine.

The bird is mine.

The bird is mine. The bird is mine.

That bird is mine. The bird is mine.

Aw, come on now. Give me the bird. Nope. Sorry. The bird is mine. Let him have

the bird. Yeah, let him have the bird. Yeah, let me have the bird.

No. That bird is ours. The bird is mine. The bird is mine. The bird is mine.

That bird is mine. The bird is mine. The bird is mine. The bird is mine. The

bird is mine. No.

The bird is mine.

Shut down the decoy, Ray.

Oh, Ray.

Dude, thank God. Yeah, go ahead and shut down that decoy.

Deep decoy. That's a word I've never... The bird is a robot. I should have

known. They're highly intelligent, you know. Thanks.

We're not as smart as dolphins, but we work our asses off.

Linus, on time.

Deal? Ignite the factory.

Come on, grab the jam box.

There you go.

That track is hot.

You'll never get away with this.

Oh, yeah, we will.

Damn it, they will.

And we keep it real smooth. Get on the dance floor and make your ass move.

Gonna shake that butt till it claps. I wanna give it a slap, a clap in it,

clap. Audience, what's this song about? Is that fresh enough? You gotta get

on the floor and shake that butt till it claps.