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1
00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:09,010
Get your Yankee ass off my property.
2
00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:14,050
Don't care if the bank gave you a deed.
3
00:00:15,730 --> 00:00:19,150
This farm's been kind of land for
generations.
4
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:24,230
Since we beat back them sneaky Japanese.
5
00:00:25,450 --> 00:00:31,370
In the war of 1812, bring our boys home.
Hey, man, let me drive that thing. Come
6
00:00:31,370 --> 00:00:32,549
on. Touch the tram.
7
00:00:35,630 --> 00:00:41,410
The tender, juicy, deep -fried pine
booby.
8
00:00:42,190 --> 00:00:45,510
There are only a precious few of them
left.
9
00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:52,530
And each day, their fragile habitat is
compromised by an exciting
10
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,970
new shopping experience.
11
00:00:55,339 --> 00:00:57,160
Pavement Plain Super Mall.
12
00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:02,480
A mall where we sell malls. That's how
big it is. Let's see where the booby
13
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,480
then.
14
00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:10,600
So, join the hunt, won't you?
15
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,560
Bag a booby and you will receive a
coupon for free zippy rings at the
16
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,600
Engorgerie. But remember, I must have
you alive.
17
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:21,840
Three zippy rings?
18
00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:23,220
Get the dynamite, son.
19
00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:24,700
May the best species win.
20
00:01:25,220 --> 00:01:27,760
Daddy, I think he said he wants him
alive.
21
00:01:28,060 --> 00:01:29,060
Oh, fine.
22
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,420
Back me my compound bow.
23
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:31,740
There you go, Daddy.
24
00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:34,520
Ain't no such a thing as a firefight.
25
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,080
The titanium quills. You trying to
cripple me here?
26
00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:40,920
She's beautiful.
27
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:44,880
Look at that golden, buttery plumage.
28
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,460
Created to perfection.
29
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,400
What a magnificent beast.
30
00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:03,130
Oh, my God. It's mating season.
31
00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:10,370
I'm sorry,
32
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,430
Daddy. She just seemed interested in it
all.
33
00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:25,570
We got to get her dancing. Get that
blood flowing to her sax parts.
34
00:02:27,290 --> 00:02:28,450
Now we're cooking the game.
35
00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:29,730
Go on, boy.
36
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,420
out there the maiden dance well that
must mean there's another oh hell hey
37
00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:39,540
here's your steak on the beach and a
butter nipple we say we pound these
38
00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:43,720
and see what happens a little gal get
back now don't push it on her she needs
39
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:48,220
feel like she had a choice in the matter
boom the jam's in your paint get to the
40
00:02:48,220 --> 00:02:52,160
middle and come take your taste of the
groove and we keep it a real smooth get
41
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,120
on the dance floor and make your ass
move
42
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,140
It's a boobie, all right.
43
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,690
Tom! 449, Daddy. Hell, yeah. Bring it.
44
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,290
Where are you going?
45
00:03:32,850 --> 00:03:37,130
Sorry, you just drove past my natural
habitat back there? She's right. This
46
00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,130
truck is not her natural habitat.
47
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:40,109
I know.
48
00:03:40,110 --> 00:03:42,770
I'm going to drop her off at old Dan
Halen's and get me some of them zippy
49
00:03:42,770 --> 00:03:45,610
rings. No, no. Stop the car. I got to
get out here.
50
00:03:49,590 --> 00:03:52,490
Settle down now. Settle down. Daddy,
she's crying.
51
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,680
That, too. But the market is what the
market is.
52
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,640
I'll do whatever you want. I'll suck
you.
53
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,460
You. How about you? I'll suck you. I'm a
down, now. I ain't no escape. Is it
54
00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:02,540
zippy rings you guys want?
55
00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:06,040
Because, I mean, I've got money. I'll
buy you all the zippy rings you want.
56
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:10,440
could, too. Says right here, the deep
-fried pine booby carries up to, but not
57
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,320
more, than $20 in cash.
58
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:13,840
Money?
59
00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:16,160
Leafy green is plenty money?
60
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,980
Hang on, son. Hang on.
61
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:32,520
Fireworks, baby! Woo!
62
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,660
Well, all right. There you go, son.
63
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:39,640
Woo!
64
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:42,840
Woo!
65
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,880
Come on, Early. Light it again. Light it
again, Daddy. Light it again. Nope.
66
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,420
It's a one -shot, Johnny.
67
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,560
But I do know where we can get some
more.
68
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,120
What? Don't look at me. I gave you guys
my money.
69
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,640
You bought that sparkler, remember?
70
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:04,580
Sheriff? Well, I threw all my change in
the fire. I got so excited. All right,
71
00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:05,499
then. Wait!
72
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:06,880
Get me some sippy, Wayne.
73
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,100
Look, look, look! I can help you, son.
74
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,640
Look, I can help you, son.
75
00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:13,180
I'm intrigued.
76
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:17,160
This better be good, boy. Okay, time is
short, so I'm going to be frank.
77
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:22,840
Your, uh, your complexion is, shall we
say, not what it could be. Well, you
78
00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:23,900
know, neither is mine.
79
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,480
Acne? You talking about the acne? Yeah.
80
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:30,640
But I've got great news for you. I'm
here to help. My daddy calls it the
81
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:35,120
disease. See, my personality has to rise
above it. Not any longer. Look deep
82
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:36,640
into my ass.
83
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,800
That's my boy! Phantom of expulsion!
84
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,720
Daddy, my face! Look at my face, Daddy!
85
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:50,180
I suddenly feel more socially
acceptable.
86
00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,080
Like all the shame has drained from my
body.
87
00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:55,380
Like suddenly, dating.
88
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:59,640
It's an option. Ah, that's nothing. It's
a revolutionary oxy -base secretion
89
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:04,540
from the anal glands in my tail. And
it's changing the face of faces
90
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:05,960
Does that mean you a Jew?
91
00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:10,340
I'm a... I'm a bird. Early. Uh, would
you be interested in listening to some
92
00:06:10,340 --> 00:06:11,360
my anti -Jew rhetoric?
93
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,160
It's pretty damn crazy, but sure holds a
crowd.
94
00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:15,420
Early. Wait.
95
00:06:16,140 --> 00:06:17,360
Let me out of here.
96
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,960
Settle down, Granny. Settle down.
97
00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:20,980
This is a country in the middle of
Texas.
98
00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:23,830
Three weekends, but then computers ain't
included.
99
00:06:24,310 --> 00:06:27,950
Then I got mad and we started yelling.
Then I ripped his throat out, ripped my
100
00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:31,510
teeth, and now he's got a hide in his
body. Granny, that which you babble on
101
00:06:31,510 --> 00:06:34,110
makes no damn sense to anybody. I'm
scared.
102
00:06:34,470 --> 00:06:38,270
Well, I tell you, I done stabbed that
Ukrainian. We got to get her back in the
103
00:06:38,270 --> 00:06:40,690
hole. What if I go now? I'm going to
meet him on the other side of town. It
104
00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:42,710
tragedy when the body outlives the mind.
105
00:06:42,950 --> 00:06:44,630
Whoa, that's a serious tumor.
106
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:49,000
Thank you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe you
should let me take a lick of that.
107
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,740
Oh, I wish you would.
108
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:53,460
My cornrows just won't hang right.
109
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:57,600
Uh, how many cups of coffee do you drink
a day? Oh, I don't touch that stuff.
110
00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:02,520
I just pop a few Rattlers in the morning
and I got enough fuel to last all day.
111
00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:03,780
Trucker man.
112
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,120
Hillbilly health plan.
113
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,139
Oh, interesting.
114
00:07:06,140 --> 00:07:07,620
All right, let's just go ahead and open
your mouth.
115
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:11,740
They are... Feel my spray!
116
00:07:12,220 --> 00:07:14,060
Oh, you son of a bitch!
117
00:07:16,490 --> 00:07:17,490
Well, looky there.
118
00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:18,910
It's finally gone.
119
00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:21,790
Well,
120
00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:23,269
looky there.
121
00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:24,670
It's finally gone.
122
00:07:25,810 --> 00:07:32,330
Look, I should probably tell you guys
that I'm not a doctor, per se. Sure, I
123
00:07:32,330 --> 00:07:37,870
secrete a miracle ointment from my anus.
I'm not really licensed to distribute.
124
00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:38,809
What the?
125
00:07:38,810 --> 00:07:42,790
My Tony Stewart Nextel Cup Series
Collector Edition Beverage Coaster. I
126
00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:44,030
out a damn survey for that.
127
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:45,870
And now look at the table. Steady as a
rock.
128
00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:50,070
Nailed it. And if you ain't right, it's
level like Starbucks. This bird is
129
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,070
smart. This bird is dead.
130
00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:54,710
Oh, man. Will you look at that? I think
I fattened something.
131
00:07:54,990 --> 00:07:55,990
Oh, that's awful.
132
00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:59,350
A little club soda would take that. Be
buttled.
133
00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:00,890
Bamboozled.
134
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:03,090
Vision returning.
135
00:08:04,970 --> 00:08:06,030
Scout ping -a -lating.
136
00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:08,730
Confidence?
137
00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:12,300
Restoratized! Damn, son, you look ten
years younger.
138
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,820
Give me another squirt. All right, I can
put them over here. Do the back.
139
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,160
Sure, sure. I don't want to make it look
too heavy, though. I want it to feel
140
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,160
like it has body.
141
00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:25,720
Oh, no. There's no time. Don't forget
the crown area now. It's so close. Hide
142
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,960
me. I do like the business up front, but
we're going to need a little more party
143
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,280
in the back. Don't mess with it. I
didn't even need time to set up.
144
00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:34,220
Fly me in closer.
145
00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:36,490
Load the 15 millimeter.
146
00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:38,770
We're taking out the roof.
147
00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:48,090
I know he's here.
148
00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:50,490
He's mine and I want him.
149
00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:53,410
I don't know what you're talking about.
I do.
150
00:08:53,610 --> 00:08:56,970
You're talking about the bird, right? I
got the bird. Are we keeping it quiet
151
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:57,809
about the bird?
152
00:08:57,810 --> 00:09:01,690
I'm prepared to upsize your zippy rings
to mega largey.
153
00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:03,290
If the bird is alive.
154
00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:07,450
Megalurgy! My sweet bejesus! The bird's
down in the dungeon. Early!
155
00:09:07,730 --> 00:09:11,590
Well, I mean, there ain't no bird here,
so you best take him zippy reins and
156
00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:12,690
start a -walkin'. Enough.
157
00:09:12,930 --> 00:09:14,310
I know you're here, bird.
158
00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:18,330
Come take a taste of the groove, and we
keeping it real smooth.
159
00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:20,030
Get on the dance floor.
160
00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:21,330
Make your booty move.
161
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,050
Come on, everybody!
162
00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:24,890
Oh, God.
163
00:09:25,350 --> 00:09:26,530
Oh. Oh.
164
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:41,150
And match. Hail it.
165
00:09:41,390 --> 00:09:42,930
What about them zippy rings?
166
00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:44,470
A lie.
167
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,510
Do not spill a drop.
168
00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:51,110
Each one is precious.
169
00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:53,150
No one takes anything out of here.
170
00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:56,890
All right, here's the deal. I'm going to
double back from the east and cause a
171
00:09:56,890 --> 00:09:59,270
diversion. Now you two. Early collar.
172
00:10:00,370 --> 00:10:01,370
Oh, hell.
173
00:10:02,410 --> 00:10:05,130
Give it a burn. Or the bird dies.
174
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:06,469
Go ahead.
175
00:10:06,470 --> 00:10:07,470
Do it.
176
00:10:08,630 --> 00:10:09,630
But I want the bird.
177
00:10:10,939 --> 00:10:12,220
No. The bird is mine.
178
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:13,439
The bird is mine.
179
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,600
The bird is mine. The bird is mine.
180
00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:18,080
That bird is mine. The bird is mine.
181
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:24,000
Aw, come on now. Give me the bird. Nope.
Sorry. The bird is mine. Let him have
182
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,660
the bird. Yeah, let him have the bird.
Yeah, let me have the bird.
183
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,280
No. That bird is ours. The bird is mine.
The bird is mine. The bird is mine.
184
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,620
That bird is mine. The bird is mine. The
bird is mine. The bird is mine. The
185
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:34,700
bird is mine. No.
186
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,200
The bird is mine.
187
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:38,880
Shut down the decoy, Ray.
188
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:40,560
Oh, Ray.
189
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:44,580
Dude, thank God. Yeah, go ahead and shut
down that decoy.
190
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:51,520
Deep decoy. That's a word I've never...
The bird is a robot. I should have
191
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,140
known. They're highly intelligent, you
know. Thanks.
192
00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:57,460
We're not as smart as dolphins, but we
work our asses off.
193
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000
Linus, on time.
194
00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:00,700
Deal? Ignite the factory.
195
00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:03,000
Come on, grab the jam box.
196
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:07,900
There you go.
197
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,210
That track is hot.
198
00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:10,990
You'll never get away with this.
199
00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:13,530
Oh, yeah, we will.
200
00:11:15,110 --> 00:11:16,490
Damn it, they will.
201
00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:20,670
And we keep it real smooth. Get on the
dance floor and make your ass move.
202
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:24,830
Gonna shake that butt till it claps. I
wanna give it a slap, a clap in it,
203
00:11:24,910 --> 00:11:29,710
clap. Audience, what's this song about?
Is that fresh enough? You gotta get
204
00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:36,310
on the floor and shake that butt till it
claps.
16159
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