Original subtitles

Get your Yankee ass off my property.

Don't care if the bank gave you a deed.

This farm's been kind of lame for generations.

Since we beat back them flaky Japanese.

In the war of 1812, bring our boys home.

Touch the trim.

Come on, boy. Push it. I ain't touching anything, boy. You got it now.

You said we got to bulk these chickens up, didn't you? No, no. That's going to

take six to eight weeks before we see any results, which are neither

nor typical for everyone.

My daddy... Ask your doctor before you begin any exercise regimen.

Round them up. We're going to waterboard them.

Daddy, he's almost got it right now. Damn it, Rusty.

Come on. Push that down, Wayne. Come on. Get off your chest, young lady.

Weightlifting bird is powerful and strong.

Hell, yeah. He's about to hit him some decline reps. Build up that brass meat.

Anky -danky. Oh.

Guess I should have made him wear a belt. That's all right. Hell, we got

ones. Jesse, hustle up. Come on, get chased.

Come on, give me some chase.

Jesse has been depressed, you know. Damn anxiety disorder.

Maybe you should feed them. Oh, yeah, yeah. We feed them. We fill them full of

love, nurturing.

Understanding. Feces.

Boy, they love their own feces.

It's a damn fact.

These specimens are not fit to be slathered in my sauce.

Oh, come on now, Mr. Hale. I mean, the meat's still good. If you don't buy

chickens, I'm going to lose my damn mobile home.

Oh, we'll be ready when Katrina gets up here.

Who is the deal? I am. You sack -ass bitch.

I am.

Come on now. I'll use some birds for me. Take your filth.

Your many, meaty, tender... You were born with all of these?

Yes, sir.

Say, who wants to travel back in time?

Behold, the Time Travel Matrix!

Well, who's this?

That's you, Hurley.

From the past.

Oh. Oh, I see.

Because by the time the light reflects from the time machine back to my eye, in

my brain process of the image, the future has become the now, just like a

stone.

Work quickly.

Ah, yes.

And, uh, what are, what are we, uh, what are we doing?

Merge the beast and fowl.

As one creature.

Okay.

I'll just, I think I, I think it, hmm.

I'll put this right here.

As usual, and, uh, we'll pull it all together over time.

Charlatan. Probably because of biology. You are lying!

Now step aside, God, as I upset the very balance of

creation!

Eight wings on a single,

single chicken.

Is that right?

No.

Double it!

No!

Too raw!

Double it!

This pig is taking up meat space. I thought he was going to vomit up ranch

dressing. From his other anus. Not his beak. His other anus.

Where is it? He, uh... Oh! Oh, there it is. I see. He flied the first anus.

Good work.

Double it.

Double it.

Double it!

At last.

The ultimate party platter.

Fifty flightless but delicious wings.

Crisp legs of celery.

Bowls bursting with blue cheese.

Now, sublime creature, defecate your own to go back. Okay, I

think that's too far. I could get this far for this. No, I mean, that's what

they do, right? They took my toothache there, doctor.

Science, you cheap whore.

What is this for again?

Well, technically, chickens don't have penises, sir. As you can...

Clearly see by the... Well,

we don't want that.

Here, let's just remove that.

And, oh, it's still coming.

There we go.

No, there's two more.

It ain't nothing but a wing.

And it's made its way into the slot.

You know, I can't help but feel like I didn't have as many tumors when I came

here. Look, we've been nothing but upfront about the tumors. You can't say

it wasn't clearly mentioned here on the maze on the back of the kids' menu.

Damn. I'm an officer's law.

If you want to keep this damn place open, you're going to have to make some

changes, buddy -ro.

Damn.

It's designed to blow out draft beer.

I thought word clots. Now, it doesn't work yet. Stay away from it.

It's good.

Oh, this one's too hot.

And this one's just not hot enough.

How can I find a sauce that's right for me?

A medium sauce?

Why, the very notion is just... You, go behind the dumpster. and make the tangy

with the mild.

Well, how do I go about doing that?

Tie tangy up, have a black chicken get in a fake rape scenario while mild

watches helpless because that would get them off.

Man, they ain't doing nothing.

Oh.

Not even Arnold?

Is that what they call first base?

It is for me.

Ready, what I'm gonna do?

He turned off the lights.

And that's how I met you, Grimpy.

Observe, son.

This is how a creature makes love.

Uh, Annie?

She's asleep.

Oh, she is.

Good.

I got far enough, and you won't always get arrested for it, neither.

Sometimes, though.

Yeah. What is this for, anyhow, Rusty?

Like a school project or something? School ain't the damn place to teach

Folded against that back in D .C. Get back. Where's my dinner at?

Bucky, you might put that right down up here in my mouth.

Your daddy don't like his broccoli.

You about to wear you some damn broccoli with my dinner at. Don't leave me dry.

to magnify each other. Oh, Rusty.

Mating is a delicate dance.

Just look at the birds.

And the bees.

And these oak slugs.

Check them out. They're completely great.

Is that how it works?

Oh, my God.

Constant anonymous three -way oak slug action.

Do I always do that?

I'm sorry, what?

Oh, my God. Yeah, don't look at the old slut.

Eh, we can watch for a little bit.

I had no idea that nature was so, uh, talky out here in nature. I mean, y 'all

carry on conversations like this all the time?

Dude, oh, man.

He ate some of the wings. That's crazy, man. Oh, come on. Did you eat those

wings, man? I don't even like fillers. You got the sauce on his hands. What?

You'll get through your cores, man. I'm serious.

Calm down, Rocky. Calm down. Calm down.

oh no no this ain't right this ain't right at all get on out of here fly back

nature where you belong

I love you.

my college, Daddy. Yeah, I was, Mom.

But now I'm not.