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Terrible Tudors, Gorgeous Georgians, Rhyme is too much, More Victorians,

Wars, Ferocious Fights, Stingy Castles, Daring Knives, Horrors that divide,

Description, Cut Pro -Cultural, Royal Ejection, Vicious Vikings, Cruel Crimes,

Partners and Framations, Dives, Romans, Rotten, Rankin, Ruthless, Cavemen,

Savage, Fierce and Tuberous, Groovy Greeks, Rainy Sapiens, Mean and Miserly

Middle Ages, Gory, Dory, we do that, And your host at Gawking Rap, The past is

no longer a mystery, Welcome to...

Horrible Histories.

The Tower of London.

Sorry, something's stuck in my throat.

Move over, Big Ben and Buckingham Palace. The OG icon of London is in

Packed so full of juicy history, it's running out of the poop shoots.

It's home to the priceless crown jewels.

And it's been everything from a royal palace to a prison that held celebrity

inmates. Including Guy Fawkes and Anne Boleyn.

And of course it's got ravens, ravens, ravens.

It's stood strong by the mighty River Tam for almost a thousand years.

But people have been living and working in the same spot for a thousand more.

It's big.

It's old.

It's a little bit scary.

It's the terrifying Tower of London.

And this is how it all started.

London founded by us Romans, you see.

Cos we conquered the Britons and forced them to flee.

London falling to Boondocker's hoard.

My Britons destroyed it with barrenness stored.

London growing, now back on track.

For hundreds of years, then Jerome, he went back.

London falling to the taxid invaders.

Our soldiers and sailors became farmers and traders.

The Vikings are coming, time to take up our spears. The Vikings take London, we

could be here for years.

The Saxons have Alfred, the capital of swing. The Vikings are crushed by the

greatest of kings.

Peace and love.

Nice place you've got here.

Oh, for goodness sake.

London falling. To the axis of Danes. The Saxons came back. Then the Danes

again.

London falling to the Saxons this time. But we don't need a battle with the Dave

of the Prime.

But London is falling. This time is the last.

William conquered Hound and the fighting is past.

A castle is coming.

Down by the river, my white town of London.

When will it fall?

Never.

Ah, that didn't crash that. Oh.

Woo -hoo!

Morning, Eric.

Morning, Mr. Gandalf. What do you think?

I hope he likes it. Who likes it? King William. He's coming to inspect our work

on the White Tower.

Oh. I thought you were dressed fancy for an architect.

What are you talking about?

I'm always dressed like this. Yes, I'm an architect, but I'm also the Bishop of

Rochester. Now, quickly, clean all of this up before King William arrives. You

know what he's like. He can lose his temper. I've got Bishop Gandalf. Your

Majesty.

This is it, is it? Your Majesty, it has taken almost 20 years to build, but this

is the White Tower.

It is made with the finest Kentish ragstone, giving it this nice, clean,

look. Its loose chutes are strategically positioned so that the bottom dirt only

pours down the north and east side walls, giving the front of the tower a

completely brown -free facade.

Do you want me to test it out, Your Majesty? You are making me...

I'm a bit nervous, so I do need to go.

Don't bother.

There's no need.

Where are you going?

We haven't even shown you the private suite on the top floor with an en suite

poo shoot.

Whatever.

Goodbye.

It's got a fountain that fires wine 20 foot into the sky!

Really? No, not really. I panicked. I don't care about your white tone or your

shoot of the poops.

I'm not staying.

But I designed it just like your castle in Normandy. And I love my castles in

Normandy. That's why I'm going back there.

Then why did you ask me to build this castle?

I just wanted a big, scary symbol of my power. That's why it's overlooking the

smelly Saxons who live in London. I don't want to actually live here.

It will not be my poop on the walls.

Au revoir.

Here, since he's not staying, can I go up and bounce on his bed? I'm tempted to

do something else on his bed!

Ha! Go stay.

Yes, the Tower of London began life as a fortress built by William the

Conqueror's invading Normans to guard against rebellions by the local Saxons.

And so who better to guide us around it than one of the guards who actually

works there now, real -life yeoman warder, AJ!

Hello, Rattus. Hello. Yes, we've been guarding the Tower and living there

Henry VII created the job in Tudor times.

Wow. The tower's now a tourist hotspot, but it used to be a prison, didn't it?

It must have been filled with some very naughty criminals.

Not just criminals, Rattus. A lot of people ended up in the tower just for

upsetting the king or queen. The famous explorer Sir Walter Raleigh got sent to

the tower just for secretly marrying one of Elizabeth I's ladies -in -waiting.

Talk about a disastrous honeymoon.

Still, I hear he kept himself busy while he was inside.

They've got a guilty secret.

It's guilty cordial from Sir Walter Raleigh. So good, they should lock it

And they have, because it's made here in prison by me.

I'm Sir Walter Raleigh.

Elizabethan spy, flora, soldier, poet, and now soft rig maker.

My medicinal healthy cordials are all made here by my hand in the Tower of

London.

There's not much else to do.

Fancy a sip, bud?

He never says anything.

Guilty cordials are made with only the freshest of ingredients.

Many of them grown here during my exercise hours in the gardens of the

Oh, look!

Some rosemary.

Through that unlocked gate.

I was just going to close it.

Guilty cordial is made from rosemary...

Elf flower, thistles, clay, wood, that woodbark's got a bit of raven poo on it,

revolting, antlers, and the hearts and livers of deadly vipers.

But not their skin.

That's disgusting.

So why not try guilty cordial from me, Sir Walter Raleigh?

It's so good, they have to keep me locked up.

And also because I plotted to overthrow the new King James, and I attacked the

Spanish when I said I wouldn't, and a bunch of other stuff.

What can I say?

I'm as guilty as my own cordial.

Guilty cordial. Hurry while Stock's left.

Production will definitely cease on the 29th of October, 1618.

Oh, why? Are they letting me out?

Um, well, not exactly.

Here we go. Sorry I'm late, Your Majesty. I'm Berlin.

Right, I'm thinking we start with a banquet.

Lots of musicians.

Maybe some fun animal acts. Barges full of flowers. You do know the event is my

execution. Oh, sorry.

Clicking at the wrong list.

I'm alive.

That does explain that expert French swordsman they asked for, I suppose.

And the bucket for my severed head.

Oh, that's what I asked for.

You're a smart cookie, aren't you?

No, this other list was for the last party I threw you. The coronation.

Remember? You might hand me the head. Lovely day that was.

We'll till her a boat.

You'll be arriving on a boat this time as well, actually.

Lucky me.

Your last one was at the tower too, wasn't it? And that was funny.

You had your wedding party here, and you're going to have your deading party

here too.

I'm not finding it that funny.

All right, play to yourself.

God, was it only three years ago?

The last one was absolutely fabulous, and this one will be too. We're going to

send you off with a bang.

Well, more of a chop, I suppose, than a thud.

Lovely. I love that for us. Oh, you had cannons at your last one too.

Yeah, we'll have those again.

Announce your death.

Woo -hoo!

Everyone loves a public execution, don't they?

How many people are we expecting?

Between one and two thousand.

Ooh!

Someone's popular!

Oh, unpopular, I suppose.

Are we done?

No. Very busy day ahead. Well, not for you, obviously.

That head's not going to chop itself off, is it?

Oh, thanks very much. What's this?

Oh, message from the king.

Has he changed his mind? Am I saved?

No. He's asking me to organise an engagement party for him and Jane

tomorrow.

I love an engagement.

Yes. Oh.

Sorry, too soon.

Maybe. Mm -hm.

It's true. I did indeed announce my engagements to Jane Seymour just one day

after I had Anne Boleyn executed.

What can I say? I was in love. I lost my head.

Although obviously not in the same way Anne did.

Gosh, I love that sound, and I heard it a lot, because as well as putting people

in the Tower of London, I liked having them executed there too.

Chops away!

Hiya! I'm Henry VIII, monarch, serial husband, and massive fan of chopping

people's heads off. Sweet!

And what better place to make heads roll than here in the Tower of London? So,

in this fit, I'm going to give you my five faves. Welcome to Top of the Chop.

Ooh, lovely stuff, John. Off in one.

Thank you, Your Majesty.

Five.

At number five, it's my fifth wife, Catherine Howard.

Her head had to roll, because I found out that she'd had loads of boyfriends

before I married her, which I did not like.

It is top tip.

Don't marry a jealous king with his own wax man.

Been a beep, beepy?

I'm vegetarian.

And my second wife, my first love, and number four in my top jobs. I did my

redecorating the tower for her.

She didn't do her job in giving me a son. So it was choppity -chop -chop.

It was quite sad, though. She said some lovely things about me on the scaffold.

Even asked the crowd to pray for me. Really quite moving.

Still guilty, though.

Power bullseye. Thomas Cromwell came a cropper when he met the chopper. He had

to go because he organized my fourth marriage to Anna Cleaves, and she was

nearly as pretty as he said she was.

Wasn't in a bunch of trees and stuff.

I stuck his head on a spike on London Bridge.

Well, I had to put it somewhere.

Had to.

Margaret Pole. She was a stubborn one. She made it.

Huge fuss, because she didn't want me to divorce my ex, Catherine of Aragon. She

even encouraged an invasion of England.

And her head was just as stubborn.

It took 11 shots to get it off.

Now, you dude.

And a number one!

Tell you what's not all fun and games, beheading someone who you really like.

Thomas More was a dear friend of mine. But, guys, you don't disagree with the

king on religion.

If people lose their head, people gonna lose their heads.

It was quite sad, though. The executioner even apologised to him. More

him and said, it's fine.

Maybe he was cool with it. Anyway, top leg, shame about that.

So, there you have it. My five top of the chops.

Don't forget to like, follow and subscribe to my religious reforms, or

watch out for next week's video, Top of the Pork Chops, where I count down my

three, five royal feats. No, no, no, no, no.

Great. Scream, John. Think they're puny. Do you want to join me for a round of

tennis? Say yes or I'll make you chop your own head off. Yeah, thought so.

lose the mask.

Ah!

Freaking me out.

Top tips for escaping the tower, number 18.

Hi, I'm the Earl of Winton.

Now, my top tip is to say that you want to put all your final affairs in order

before you die, and then get a family friend to take away all your important

documents in a nice big hamper. Hey!

Oh!

Bye,

Jeff. It's the worst thing I've ever seen.

So then just tuck the documents out, and then you can make your escape in the

hamper. Your friend won't mind carrying it.

Breathe in.

OK, let's bounce.

Sounds like you're straining.

Smells like it too. That is great.

It wasn't me.

It was... Yep, it was me.

I'm a big farty boy just carrying a hamper full of documents.

See you later then, buddy.

Sorry, I chew when I'm nervous.

That is horrible.

OK, Winton, time for your execution.

Winton?

Ah, he went with a fiery boy.

Quite a few people have escaped from the tower over the centuries. One guy even

tried to escape down the toilet.

Ha -ha -ha -ha!

Legend! But even back in history, there weren't that many escapees. Right, so

how did people get out of the tower?

Well, some were released. Great. But sadly...

A lot were taken off to be executed.

That's great. That's what happened to Scottish knight and freedom fighter

William Wallace in 1305. Only his execution wasn't the end of his journey.

Ah,

you all right? I'm Baron Seagrave. Sorry, are you one of them silent monks?

No. Just had my full potato scone. What can I do for you? I just wanted to check

that this is Stirling, Scotland, where the vicious rebel William Wallace

slaughtered 5 ,000 of the King's men?

No, this is where the Scottish freedom fighter William Wallace bravely repelled

the King's men before being betrayed and captured by the English oppressors.

You say potato scone, I say potato scone. Eh? I've got something of his. I

wonder if you could sign for it, please.

Well, he left her something. Yeah, he left you something it was very attached

to. But we're sure to that.

You're not one of those English ratbags, are you? Oh, yeah, yeah, I came from

the Tower of London. Where they tortured and executed a heroic William Wallace.

Oh, certainly not.

We did that at Smithfield. At the Tower, we kept him there captive, you know, so

he couldn't get out to any mischief. Get out of here. I want to see what's

inside it first. It's one of a kind.

Well... I should say two of a kind. Got the other leg in the cart, taking it to

Berwick. What kind of monsters would just slice the legs off a nation's hero?

Oh, certainly not us.

We still have to pop his arms as well.

Actual fact, yeah, I'm taking this one to Newcastle. I was wondering if you

could take the other one to Perth, you know.

Hand deliver it if you happen to be nearby.

The day I do anything for the English is the day I die.

You don't have to be like that.

For all you know, it's what William would have wanted. I think I know

What William would have wanted.

Oh, you said... Get out!

Get out!

I wish we'd trimmed his tongue out!

Top tip through escaping the tower, number 87.

I was in the army during the First World War, but I was imprisoned in the tower

for debt. My top tip for escaping the tower is to simply walk out through the

door with confidence.

Eddie?

And that's how I got out in 1916.

Have a good day, mate.

I know I will.

The last people to actually be held prisoner at the Tower were gangsters,

Grey Twins, in 1952.

But there's still jobs to be done here, AJ.

That's right, Racker.

The Tower is still where the Crown Jewels are kept.

The yeoman warders have to guard them, and we have to attend lots of official

ceremonies throughout the year. I guess that's why it's important that you live

here, too.

Yep, and we're not the only ones that live here. Are you talking about my

Dennis? He promised he'd stay in the sewer, but he is partial to a bit of

from your gift shop.

No, I'm not talking about your Uncle Dennis.

Oh. I'm talking about the constable of the tower.

There's been a constable living here and overseeing how it's run since the days

of William the Conqueror. And back in the day, the job had some very weird

perks. Ooh, a pot!

At last!

Something to cook my raw turnip in. I'll take that. Hey, what are you doing?

Reclaiming my pot.

The name's John Tick -Tock, constable of the tower.

I'm in charge while the king's not here, and my job entitles me to anything that

falls off carts into the tower most.

Well, have it then. At least you can't stop me taking these herbs.

Hopefully they'll take the taste of the raw turnip away.

I'll have them too. All herbs and plants growing in the area of Tower Hill also

belong to moi.

Stop looking at my swan. Oh, come on. You can't own the swans. Oh, my turnip.

constable, I am entitled to any swans under London Bridge.

Help! I was taking my pig over the bridge and it fell in the river.

Not your pig. My pig. What? As constable, I am entitled to all pigs,

oxen and sheep that fall from London Bridge into the Thames.

Oh, that's mine too.

I brought the pigs all the way from Norfolk in my boat. Wait, why are we

travelling by boat?

I'm on a pilgrimage to the shrine of St. James. I was dropping the pigs off on

the way.

Oh, excellent. You owe me two pence. What? As constable, I am entitled to

two pence off of every pilgrim to St. James that comes in by sea. Also, a

shilling from each herring boat, six shillings and eight pence for all

boats, and a portion of cargo from each boat more than how I walk. Don't see my

face for detail.

Oh, and a portion of your boat's cargo too, if you don't mind.

You're welcome to it. You can have the pig's will.

There's plenty more of that, King Fry.

Keep it. I'll let you off this time.

Rub some of your herbs in. It'll take the smell away.

Won't help with the flies, though.

These flies aren't mine.

Keep the flies.

Oh, gosh,

what a busy day I've had praying.

That's what us smickers do after all. Pray, pray, pray.

Not really. It's me, Colonel Thomas Blood. This is the disguise I used to

successfully steal Charles II's crown jewels from the Tower of London. I took

the master of the jewel house into taking me to feed him, pushed him out of

way, and grabbed the jewels and left it. But what did I do to the crown to get

it to fit under my coat?

Did I A, melt it on a candle, B, snap it in half, or C, bash it flat?

The answer is C.

I bashed it until it was fit neatly under my cup.

Some might say that this would ruin it, but I think flat crowned was rather

stupid. Actually, I could wear it as a rather fetching brooch.

Yet the robbery was a total success, apart from dropping some of the booty on

the way out and getting caught. You're not going to let any of that put me off,

though. Not while I've still got my brilliant disguise on. The ears are

Just in case that wasn't clear.

Am I allowed to touch the crown jewels, AJ?

No. Are you allowed to touch them? No one touches the crown jewels.

Right. Well, you'd better have this back then.

What? Don't worry, it'll glue back on.

Unbelievable. So, nowadays the Tower is a big tourist attraction and people can

come and see all the famous stuff like the Crown Jewels, Traitor's Gate, the

White Tower and, of course, the Ravens. I bet the tourists love it.

They do, but there was one constable of the Tower who didn't like the tourists

very much at all. The Duke of Wellington used to work here and he tried very

hard to put tourists off from visiting.

The Tower's constable has been the boss for a couple of years now, and he's

recently got himself another exciting job, which is causing quite a stir.

Our boss here at the Tower was already a bit of a big deal.

He's the Duke of Wellington.

As in, won the Battle of Waterloo, Duke of Wellington.

And now, he's been made the Prime Minister of the whole country.

Good morning, PM!

What are those?

Just the usual tourist, sir. How many times do I have to say, this is a

fortress? Oh my goodness, it's the new Prime Minister.

Oh!

I'm so sorry about that. The actual Prime Minister slammed a door in my

And we thought seeing Trader's Gate was cool!

This place is amazing.

We have got to bring everyone else next time. Oh, can you let him know we've got

some ideas for merchandise?

We're making a body with raven about ravens embroidered across it. Please

them go away, Yeoman Warder.

You're talking about what?

No. I am talking about them. Make them go away.

How about I show you a different part of the tower?

Oh, I'd love to. See you later.

Have you seen the crown jewels?

Oh, exciting.

Stop the knife.

hate the general public. It's just, this is a military post.

The Tower is here to defend against revolutionaries and the like. We can't

that with the general public just wandering around.

I mean, they don't even know how to march properly.

Even though he's splitting his attention between the Tower and being PM, the

Duke still finds time to explain to staff his new strategy to make the Tower

more military -focused. We must create a plan of battle against the enemy.

Do you mean the Tories?

Exactly.

The Duke wanted to raise the ticket prices to keep the riffraff out, but he

wasn't allowed to.

In fact, the ticket prices went down. So instead, he banned groups of larger

than 12 people. And then also to be extra safe, he brought in these.

He's worried about the tourists taking over the tower and starting a rebel

uprising.

In my experience, he should be more worried about his running out of cake.

I mean, that's when things really kick off.

I don't understand.

I mean, the cutesy of the crown jewels is twice as long as normal.

You should see how busy the armoury is, boss.

People really love what you've done with the place.

Those are functional military weapons to defend the castle.

And they're all so fun to sit on.

At least I was allowed to drain the moat.

I bet the tourists are furious about that one.

Turns out that the visitors hated the moat too.

It stank.

But they loved the new parade ground we replaced it with. They like watching the

soldiers. We're one of the top tourist attractions in the country.

It's ridiculous.

The most magnificent fortress in the country filled with giddy sightseers.

What?

We've run out of cake.

Caw!

Caw!

Victory! All in! Your lunch is ready!

Ah! Hello there. Winston Churchill here. I'm just laying out a spotted lunch for

the Tower of London Ravens. Come on, girls!

Scrubs up!

I hope they haven't disappeared.

There's a legend that something very bad will happen if there are no ravens in

the tower.

But what is it?

Is it A, it will rain for three years, B, the kingdom will fall, or C, Britain

will run out of chocolate?

The answer is B.

Yes, it's said that the kingdom will fall if the ravens leave the tower.

That's why I had more bought in after the Second World War blitz.

Girls, come on now. Don't tease Uncle Winnie.

I do hope they haven't left.

Ah, good. There they are.

Of course.

The ravens are probably the most famous residents of the tower nowadays, aren't

they, AJ?

No offence. None taken. We love the raven.

There's even a special yeoman warder called the Ravenmaster who looks after

them. Ravens are thought to have been at the Tower since the reign of Charles

the Second.

Rats will have been here even longer, of course.

Maybe, but we don't talk about your Uncle Dennis.

We're not big fans.

To be fair, neither's Auntie Edna. Well, thanks for showing us round, AJ. Keep

up the good work.

Now, how about singing us a song to finish up?

Thanks, but no. Good job we got this, then.

We got a tower.

We got a white tower in London.

A seat of power, yeah.

A place where anything can happen.

It's been a mental rose to our castle protecting you. It was wood when it was

new, now it's a museum.

For the craze and Rudolphess, William Wallace and Queen Bess, Walter Raleigh

the rest was a prison.

Here's a mystery for you.

The princes in the tower went missing, but people think a clue is

their uncle Richard McKay King. The tower's seen all of these terrible days,

like the death of Jane Grey.

Jane Grey. Jane Grey. Jane Grey. A teenager given the crown, must have

she was made.

Got played. She was queen for nine days.

Kept tigers there.

They're leopards, pampers and lions then.

Little polar bears.

They had one that swam in the Thames.

It's been a mint, a royal zoo, a castle protecting you. It was wood when it was

new, now it's a museum.

Paul Samuel Pepin, Anne Boleyn, Henry Fick, White Catherine, Guy Fawkes, and

more like him was a prison.

Here's a legend for you.

While the ravens say it'll stand proudly, they guard the tower for you.

But if the ravens leave, it'll end badly.

A tower full of all the historical things, like the death of Anne Boleyn.

Boleyn, Boleyn, Boleyn. Executed by the sword And the case was so thin

Yet no win Her accuser was the king We got a tower

We got a white tower In London

The past is no longer a mystery Hope you enjoyed Horrible History