Original subtitles

Mmm.

Right? Nope.

Oh, I'm dizzy.

Donya?

Um... Why would you carry your bike up three flights of stairs?

Did you not see the bike rack? It's right outside.

The red bike is there.

Every time I come here, this red bike is taking up the entire rack. Parked right

across it, blocking all the spots.

I mean, who would openly flout bike rack etiquette like that? I don't know. I've

never actually seen them. But I had an idea.

How about you guys just come to my place more?

That seems fair. Oh, I totally would. But I got this puzzle going on right

And, you know, puzzles don't travel well.

Like sushi.

Ernesto, I didn't want to get all serious about this.

holding up your end of the best pals contract. What? Whoa, whoa.

You invoked the best pals contract, Tanya? The unspoken agreement of loyalty

love among a group of best pals?

Yes, I do.

This is a serious accusation. You really think I would sacrifice our friendship

for a 24 -piece jigsaw puzzle?

Prove that you wouldn't. Fine.

I will help you track down the owner of the mysterious bike and teach them

proper bike rack etiquette. Even if it means staking out the bike rack for

hours. Even if it means bringing snacks.

Huh. That's not at all what I was going for, but it does sound fun.

Yeah, let's do it.

Turn!

Sorry, y 'all. Just decided to pull a little surprise.

I'm trying to be more impulsive.

But, Turt, I thought you feared the unknown. I did. But then yesterday, I

off the kitchen counter, and I thought I was going to die because it's 10 times

my body height.

But then I didn't die.

You lived?

Yeah. So now I'm not scared of stuff anymore.

Check this out.

Flip me over. Flip me over. Oh, my god, Turt.

See? I'm all good.

Whoa. Oh, I'm so happy that you conquered your fierce hurt. I mean, I've

been fearless, so I can't exactly relate.

Same. I know. You two are the coolest. I think it's because you're both tall.

That's my theory as well. So, should we go catch the mystery biker? Because I'm

down to clown.

Oh, we're doing that today?

I'm ready. You guys want me to bring the puzzle?

On a stakeout?

Right. Good point.

I'll bring it.

Hi, and welcome back to another edition of Words with Ike. The word I'd like to

talk to you about today is opportunity.

Opportunity can be defined as a good position, chance, or prospect for

advancement or success.

As an example, I'd like to offer my viewers a one -time opportunity to

my offshore future trading program, Ike's Mutual Fortunes Fund.

It yields a high and consistent return. No matter how much the market

fluctuates, we guarantee high performance on your investment.

While we're not yet registered with the Securities and Exchange Commission, the

longer you wait to invest, the longer it takes for you to see your return.

All it takes to get started is a base payment of $50 ,000.

There's no risk at all.

There's no risk at all other than missing out on this opportunity.

And if you've already invested, please stop calling.

Come

on,

boy.

Legs are numb and the phone is out. Who will earn my like today?

Dad!

I mean, they were only dating for a year.

Good for Liam.

Aren't you happy for your brother? No!

He's beating me now. He's engaged and I have nothing, all right? He's only four

months older than me. How is that possible?

God, I have nothing to show for myself.

Everybody hates me because I haven't accomplished anything.

Oh, Noel, that's not why people hate you.

That's it!

I should set up an online dating profile.

I'm attached after all, right?

Right? Which is nothing to be embarrassed about.

There, done.

Now to see all the hits I'm getting.

And now to see all the hits.

All right, third time's a charm.

Uh... Oh, hello.

Hello, my sexy man.

Okay. We are need credit card info to big time sex with you.

God damn it.

Otka, you fool. You come on too strong.

I thought he'd be my Mr. Right.

So you called me in to help spice up... Your dating profile, huh?

No, you broke into my apartment because the butterfly you were chasing flew in

through my window.

Challenge accepted. Let's see what I can do here. Oh, yeah, here's your problem.

Under job, you said you were the last honest man.

Women hate that. Hell, everybody hates that. It's what I am.

And now you're a doctor.

I'm not a doctor.

Now you're a doctor in this, aren't you? How tall are you, 6 '5", 7 '3"? I'm 5

'11 at 3 quarters.

6 '5". And you're a veteran of, uh, what's a good one? What's a good war?

Oh. This is absurd, okay? Just take it down.

Okay, well, you already have 300 hits.

301, 302, 314. Jeez.

Can you make it say I fought ISIS? Buddy, I can make it say you beat them.

Oh,

and

I'm not permitted to be scared?

This is so typical of Americans.

Uh, aren't you American?

I'm a citizen of the world, baby.

Okay,

well, I have the fingers of a nine -pound ball user. It's the ball who

embarrassed, not me.

Because the spinning top, say it with me, represents reality.

Why, you left your parachute.

I no longer...

I should just throw in the towel.

Maybe get into the craft beers or something to keep my mind occupied while

circle the trade.

Jesus, Noel, you went on three dates. Maybe let Swanboy and me help you on the

next one.

That's rich. How could you two help me? I could sell you performance -enhancing

shoes. You don't have any of those.

Yeah, the magic was in you the whole time.

Pay up. No, I meant we could hide in the bushes and give you advice.

Like Cyrano de Bergerac?

Just lie.

This shit is not complicated.

Swanboy, the only thing you know how to do is end relationships.

Glad to see we're just laying it all out there.

Cyrano? Cyrano, yes, the version, let's go.

She's not coming.

Can I come out of the bushes now?

Ow. Why bother? Why do anything? It's hopeless.

Yeah, that's my default take. Ow.

Liam and Mariah.

Oh, my God. Are they okay?

No.

It's great. They broke the engagement off. Oh, no. Why?

Swan Boy, the only thing you know how to do is end relationships.

End relationships.

Swan Boy.

Swan Boy. Swan Boy. Swan Boy, did you break up Liam and

Mariah's engagement?

Who? My brother and his fiance.

You did, didn't you? You took it to heart when I told you all you know how

is end relationships, and so you ended theirs. Slow, buddy. Hold the phone.

is the nicest thing you've ever done for me. That is the only nice thing you've

ever done for me.

Yeah, our bar for you is so low.

Nice. Nice work.

All right, sure. What the hell? I broke them up.

Viewer, I have no idea what the hell they're talking about.

My best guess, two people fell out of love. Happens every day.

I wasn't really the protagonist of this one, so I tuned a lot of this episode

out. Glad to see I came out on top, though.

I guess what they say is true.

Certain butterflies are toxic and should not be eaten.

Her? I didn't know you, Scoo. I do now. I also started wearing this beret.

No fear!

Nice! You got thick air on that one. I know.

I felt it.

Anyone hungry?

Bring it, son.

Still nothing.

Maybe it's abandoned.

No, it moves sometimes.

It was parked in the other direction yesterday.

We're just gonna have to wait.

Yeah, we got enough cheese for the rest of the day.

I think.

Huh?

Oh, my God.

Everybody, look at this.

What the hell? Oh, yeah.

I should have known.

Ghost bike.

What's a ghost bike? It's the ghost of a dead bike.

Maybe it's just the wind. The wind is riding the bike?

I don't know, but there's no way it's a ghost bike.

Ernesto, are you scared of ghost bikes?

No. Because they're not real.

I don't believe in ghost bikes either, but this is definitely weird, right?

Let's follow it. On foot?

We won't stand a chance.

That's why we're going to use a bike's natural enemy.

Skateboard. I'll take my scoot.

So we're just not finishing the puzzle.

What if someone comes by and completes it?

We'll finish it later.

Come on!

Put me over.

Oh, my God.

We're surrounded by dead bodies.

Dead bike bodies.

Kevin, bikes can't die.

They're objects.

Maybe some bikes can die?

Ernesto, where are you going?

No, no, no way. I just got to go check on the puzzle.

I thought you were fearless, Ernesto. Well, I found new fears.

Okay, so you just want to let the red bike take over the bike rack forever.

You just want to lead us into a rusty, haunted bike factory.

Well, maybe I do.

Yeah, Tanya, you're the coolest.

And Ernesto, I have one thing to say to you.

Best pals contract.

Oh.

Ah, damn.

All right, I'm in. Yes. Now let's send this demon bike back to hell.

From whence it came?

Ghost bike, Tanya? It might still be able to find peace in the eternal halls

Bike Hollow.

Do you just make this stuff up? I mean, it's a hypothesis.

I don't see anyone else offering theories except Ernesto's wind ideas,

ridiculous, by the way.

That way.

Oh, hey, Jess.

Can I borrow your camera again this weekend, please, if you're not using it?

the digital camera again.

What do you need it for?

I just wanted to get some professional photos of, like, my woodworking project.

Sure.

Can I borrow your camera again this weekend, please, if you're not using it?

Oh, the digital camera again.

Why do you need it for? I just wanted to get some professional photos of, like,

my woodworking project.

Sure.

Oh, I just wanted to get some, like, professional photos.

Right, okay then. So, Amy, it's my understanding that you were home all

on Thursday?

What? Yes, I think so.

Well, Amy, I put it to you that it was your brother's first solo exhibition in

New York that night, and you didn't call him or your parents to say

congratulations. Oh, God, I forgot, I forgot.

Oh, you forgot.

And Amy, did you also forget to pursue a fulfilling music career?

I... How many hours of guitar lessons your parents paid for for you? That your

job at the sound studio as a project manager doesn't actually involve

any instruments or doing anything creative yourself?

It's just the moment... Amy, I just have one more question for you. Yeah?

Boy, are you gonna tell the truth?

I know you got a thing for me.

Yeah.

You guys see anything?

I found a switch.

Uh, Kevin, are these dead bikes or regular bikes?

Hard to tell. I don't have my equipment.

What kind of equipment do you have for this?

Son of a gun. They are dead.

Okay, nobody move.

Oh, God.

Just be cool, Turt. Remember, you're not scared of anything now. You're cool.

This is a cool new experience.

It's coming to eat us. I just wanted to do a puzzle today.

Let us help you find peace, great ghost bike.

Tell us why you're haunting our bike ride.

Hell it is then, bitch.

My bell.

My two bell.

ghost bike at all. It's a magic bike.

So you just changed your theory just like that.

You've been saying it's a ghost bike all night.

I work with the evidence I have.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck this. You got this, Turt. It's okay. It's just like the

kitchen counter. No, it's not. This is much worse. This is like 10 ,000 times

body height. Whoa, I can see our apartment.

And there's your help, Tanya. Wait, is that a park?

It is a park right between our neighborhood.

We can hang out.

Bike, will you please take us to the park? Use your magic for good, Bike.

Oh, my beret.

You guys, I just realized I hate this. Bike, please. I think she's going to

throw up. Hey, this bike has a thorn in its ass.

It's just like the story with the mouse and the lion. You know where the lion

has a thorn in its ass? I believe the thorn was in its box. Really? Oh, God.

That changes the whole story for me.

it, Tanya. You redeemed its soul or whatever.

Okay, so are we cool now, bike? Will you give us a ride to the park?

Yay!

Shit. It's closed. Closed at sundown? Well, that's constantly changing, isn't

it? Unbelievable.

This city needs more accessible green spaces. Should we just hang out at my

place? Eh, I guess.

Hey, bike, uh, can you fly us back to my place by any chance?

Is that too much to ask? I don't want to be a bother, but, like, you did take us

on this adventure.

Guess we're walking. We can work on the puzzle. That sounds fun and safe.

You know what? You guys aren't so bad after all.

Wait, when did you start thinking we were bad?

When I almost fell from the sky to my death.

Oh.

I hear that. They would see my beret.

I don't know what you want and I won't do it with you.

right now i'm really looking at baby mom