Original subtitles

Okay, cowboy.

Drop him!

Kevin, that smells amazing.

It's my secret spaghetti recipe.

You have a secret recipe?

That's so dope.

I mean, I found it on the internet, but I'll never tell anyone where.

What about us, your closest pals?

No way. If any of us could make secret spaghetti, then it would just become

regular spaghetti.

And then you two definitely wouldn't come to my dinner party.

What? Come to your dinner party? Every time I say I'm going to make dinner, you

guys want to go out instead.

Like the other day, I was like, I want to have a dinner party.

And Tanya was like, yeah, let's take shots and get sushi.

That is partying and having dinner. It's dinner and a party. You know that's not

the same thing.

It's a similar use of words.

Hey! Hey!

What up, turd? Not much, just turtle stuff mostly. I brought a bottle of

Wine!

Good afternoon, sir.

Hello. Um, hello.

My name is Travato. I come from a world of sentient robotic life forms. I am

damaged and require sustenance.

Sustenance? Affirmative. I smelled your delicious spaghetti sauce. Please, may I

have some? Oh, ow!

I'm sorry, this is actually more of a friends -only dinner party.

Please, I am dying.

Only this boss can save Roboto. I don't want to watch a robot die.

That would be a huge bummer on the night. Death is, like, the worst.

Okay.

Swallow.

Quite pleasing.

Please feed me all of it. The entire thing? Yes. I have kids.

Go, go, go.

Thank you. You have done me a great service.

I will never forget you, Ken.

It's Kevin, actually.

Goodbye, Ken.

Goodbye, Ken's companion.

Hey, who's going to pay for our wall? Bye.

Ken,

sleep. I am damaged and require... You already ate all my spaghetti, so... Did

you make garlic bread, too?

Yes, I did make garlic bread.

This ends the word. I am damaged and require sustenance.

Swallowed. Thank you. I feel my strength returning.

Hey, dude, who's that dragon?

My greatest rival.

The one known only as...

Excuse me, do you know him?

Um, no. Do you? Yes.

That is my greatest rival, okay?

Were you helping him?

Yo, he just asked for some food. You have food? What do you have?

We had incredible spaghetti sauce that I worked on for hours. But that robot ate

it all. And he thinks my name is Ken.

Oh, no.

Well, what's your real name?

Kevin. Much better than Ken.

Kevin, let's start over. My name is Lisandra. I'm from another dimension,

I'm about to be engaged in a pretty long battle here. If you could get another

pot of spaghetti sauce going, oh, I'd be deeply indebted to you. Mm -hmm. Yeah,

sure. That's what the robot says.

I'm very rich. Listen, I could pay you.

Here are 7 ,000 of your people's dollars.

Oh, boy, will that be enough to pay for a sauce?

Hmm.

You know, I... I think 9 ,000 would be closer, right? Yeah, I think it's nine.

Kev, you good with this? But what about my dinner party? We gotta postpone,

dude. We need the money. You think that robot's gonna pay for all the stuff he

messed up? Mm -mm. He won't. He broke. Only I can help replace your stuff.

Fine.

We'll get that started for you, Miss Lisandra. Ah, excellent!

I'm going to order sushi and watch my show.

Oh,

okay.

Welcome back to Words with Ike. Now, today's word is a beautiful marriage

between the letters A and H.

That word is ah.

Its definition?

An exclamation used to express a range of emotions, including surprise,

pleasure, sympathy, and realization.

How about we do a little role play to see just how much emotion Ah can

Person A. Hey there, slugger. I've got a surprise for you.

Person B.

Ah!

Person A.

The surprise is this.

There's a new ice cream shop down the street and I'd like to take you there.

Person B.

Ah.

Person A.

You're worried about the doctor's report.

Well, it came back in and yes, you are lactose intolerant. Person B.

Ah.

Person A.

Ah, ah, ah.

Don't fret. At this new ice cream shop, they have non -dairy offerings like

sorbet. Person B.

Ah.

So the next time you've got a feeling inside that you don't quite know how to

put into words, try opening your mouth and saying, Ah.

Ah.

But I want my booty on top of my head.

Come on, boy.

It's the Vito, not the Vito.

What are you, his doctor?

Hmm.

We should eat something. I'm starving.

Uh, I don't know if I... I'm sort of hard up for cash right now.

I can spot you. Oh, I don't want to be rude.

Actually, it's ruder to just watch us eat. Well, I'm stuck.

Everything's varying shades of rude now, and I... I have to go to the bathroom.

Hmm?

What are you doing, Rona?

You should return the money and walk into prison.

Just get it over with. Might as well spend it on yourself since you're so

selfish, which everybody already knows.

Iruna, my daughter, donated the money to the church.

She needed it. You're going to die of mercury poisoning on January 11th, 2041.

Oh, good dog.

A penny saved is a penny. You've been in here for more than two minutes. Your

friends think you're taking a shit.

You'll be so disappointed.

Christmas Junior, what do you call it?

Eater. Sorry I took so long. I don't know what to do. I'm in deep, guys. It's

too much. First I had no money, then I had money, but it was tainted. And my

was dressed like the Pope, which I know you guys weren't there for, but it's a

very loaded image for me. Why is everything so stressful?

Rhoda, what are you even talking about? What happened?

Okay, so you know how money... You're on move dilemma.

only hidden camera show where we force strangers into moral dilemmas and film

their reactions.

Congrats.

You're the first person to take the hundred dollars and then have a full on

panic attack.

Wait, you've been filming me this entire time?

Yeah.

Also, I have a son in middle school. I'm going to be on the internet.

are going to perceive me.

Well, you should have thought of that before you existed alongside us in

reality. You have to pull that video.

Never.

I can't take all of this responsibility.

All right, asshole, you're under arrest.

No, but why?

I did the right thing. I tried to get rid of my ill -gotten gain.

Littering. This pale blue dot is our shared responsibility.

I did everything right.

I did everything right. Now that's what I call footage.

Nice. Looks like we're going to have to go railroad now.

Come on, swan boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold up.

Ooh, money.

Early to bed, early to... Damn it, old man, or I'll break you into 20s.

I'm just so sick of it.

I'm just so sick of it.

I'm just so sick of it.

I'm just so sick of it.

I'm just so sick of it.

I'd like to get in the water soon.

The water?

The water, we've been here for days and that's all you ever talk about.

Why do you keep demanding that I get in the water?

You can't make me get in that water.

I love the water.

I've spent too much of my life on land.

Do whatever you want, but I'm getting wet.

But we're on vacation together.

Vacation doesn't mean you do everything together.

Then what's the point?

Oh, Bonnie.

The point is to rest and relax and discover the things you enjoy doing in

free time.

Oh, Joanne, I'm so sorry.

Maybe I would enjoy a solo alfresco luncheon on the lanai.

It's just, Roger never telephoned.

Oh, Joanne, I thought he was the one.

Specialist. Roger.

Hello, girls.

Specialist?

Chop, chop, chop.

Choppity chop. Kevin, thanks for telling us your secret recipe.

Well, it's not much of a secret anymore, is it? Maybe not, but we're making way

more sauce this way, right?

Huh. Trobata's doing well? Yeah, he's really coming back. At first I was like,

this dude is done.

But then he pulled out the sword of life and harnessed the power of the stars?

Sword of life!

Thank you. Oh, you beautiful creatures.

Aw. Not that beautiful.

No.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Excuse me. Do you pay for that?

Hey, but you are my earth friend.

I am Travato.

I am family and the choir.

Ernesto, do you know this rule? Nope.

Thank you. Is the bread complimentary?

Bread is extra.

Hmm. What to do?

What to do?

How much extra?

Hold on!

Alrighty, let's get back to it. Maybe we should wrap up early and get back to

the dinner party. I'm pretty hungry now.

Oh, we can order pizza. Yeah, we'll eat while we work. Super efficient.

So, you were the spy all along, Fernando.

Living in disguise.

No, Natalia.

Living in love.

Oh, Fernando.

Chef, we're running low on celery here. Running low on tomatoes, too. Someone

needs to do a supply run.

I'll go.

Hey, Mr. Tran.

Ah! Kevin!

What's wrong?

I've never seen you so upset about buying calories.

Well, you know those giant things that are fighting in the sky?

Oh, yes. The dragon and robot.

Sure, why? Well, I was throwing a dinner party for my friends, but instead we

ended up cooking a bunch of secret spaghetti sauce for the dragon because

paying us thousands of dollars. But then the robot started paying us, too. And I

guess it's because the secret spaghetti sauce is so good that it makes them

fight harder, but I just feel like I'm... not totally cool with all of it.

That's messed up. It totally screws up your dinner party.

Exactly. It's like my friends don't even care.

Well, Kelvin, if your friends are as cool as you always say they are, they'll

listen to you. And if they don't, then you cut them out of your life and you

never speak to them again.

And you hold that grudge forever.

Thank you, Mr. Tran.

You're so wise.

Have a good dinner party.

Good. Bye to you.

Watch out, jackass. I'm going to install the TV.

What are you talking about? It's already up.

Wait, really? You did it?

Uh -uh. I thought you did it.

What are you watching?

I'm eating hair.

Some weird show that's on every channel.

Watch where I move.

Unfamiliar cord.

Did you hear some familiar cord?

Stop messing with stuff.

Weird box.

Did you see this weird box?

Mm -hmm.

The box is so strange. The box looks like it's on a house. It doesn't belong

here.

Come on.

We want to fix it.

I'm going to fix it. I'm going to fix it.

There's a

guy

and he's just laying down on my

TV and I don't want to watch that.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

I should be wearing overalls for this.

What? Everyone hates you just because I get spit on by a bus driver?

Okay, all set.

What am I doing now?

Uh, it looks like you're tap dancing.

People like me.

Oh, my God.

The guy just fucking died.

What? I'm dead?

Are you sure I'm dead?

Yeah, dude.

He's bleeding and everything.

Gross.

I don't know. I guess I fixed it.

Yeah, I fixed it.

Hello. Welcome to a special Words with Ike pronunciation investigative report.

Today, we take a look at one of the greatest questions plaguing humankind

throughout its history. Is it tomato or tomato?

Our team of researchers has been working around the clock to bring you a

definitive answer. They're going to play that answer for me through a pair of

headphones, and I'll deliver their findings to you right now. Headphones,

please.

Okay, the headphones are on.

We can hit play.

Turn it up a touch.

Thank you.

All right, play it back.

Got it.

It's tomato.

I'm coming.

Hey, Kev. That was quick.

Super efficient.

Dump those veggies over here. I don't want to do this anymore.

What? Stand on the table?

No, not stand on the table. I don't want to cook for those futuristic monster

things anymore.

I want to have a dinner party with my friends. We can make it more of a party

here. Let's put some music on. No, no, no more creative uses of the words party

and dinner.

I'm out. If either of you want to attend an actual dinner party, you know where

to find me. Kevin, wait.

We can shut it down.

The dinner party sounds good. Really?

Yeah, I'm super hungry now, too. Listen, why don't we just finish making this

one last pot of sauce?

That dragon has given us over, like, $20 ,000, and I just kind of feel like we

owe it to her at this point. All right, that's fair.

Wait, what do you mean you're not going to make any more?

We're done.

This is the last batch, and we're taking some for ourselves.

Wait, did I not pay you enough?

It's got nothing to do with the money.

What's going on?

Why not? I paid you guys 20 bucks.

Wait, excuse me, how much? As I already made clear, this has nothing to do with

the money. We just have a prior commitment that we need to get to

that's all. And you two should stop fighting. You're clearly meant for each

other. Hey, Kevin, let's actually not upset the violent giants more than we

to. If they want to fight, that's on them.

So, we good here or what? If you won't make more sauce, then simply give us the

recipe. Affirmative. So we may replicate it. Alright. All right, fine. I'll send

you the link.

It's like the very first search we saw for spaghetti sauce. Then we will take

the remaining sauce and do battle elsewhere.

Perhaps another dimension.

Or another point in time.

Yeah, either of those are good.

Goodbye, Ken.

Goodbye, Earth friends of Ken.

Hmm. Well, that was fun. Yeah, they were nice.

Ish. And how much did we make for two hours of work? We made $21 ,020.

Man, we probably should have kept doing that for a while, huh?

What about all the stuff I said regarding friendship and dinner?

No, yeah, that stuff was probably right.

You know, no regrets.

Oh, man, you never know what's going to explode in that show or who's going to

make out.

But it's usually Natasha and Fernando.

They're nasty.

To dinner party.

Cheers.

Oh, my God, that's good.

Kevin, this is amazing.

Oh, I'm glad you all like it. I don't just like it. I love it. High kick.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye.