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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:04,730 You want to talk the greatest of all time. 2 00:00:05,450 --> 00:00:10,210 The fifth Land Before Time was the quintessential Land Before Time. You're 3 00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:10,989 an asshole. 4 00:00:10,990 --> 00:00:16,030 All right, it's the third film. Oh, everyone says the third. Yeah, because 5 00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:19,970 got the raptors in it and the pterodactyl in it. It's got kind of nice 6 00:00:19,990 --> 00:00:23,190 I'm just saying I've seen hundreds of kids' movies. I have sat through hours. 7 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:27,270 You don't even watch the movies. All right, you sit there. You stare at a 8 00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:28,550 butt. Sometimes they're ugly. 9 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:32,940 And you've got to sit through the whole film and wait for the next batch to come 10 00:00:32,940 --> 00:00:36,060 in. You know, my mom used to drop me off at the theater by myself all the time. 11 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,140 And I'm just really glad that I never ran into you. Wait a minute. Where did 12 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:41,280 grow up? Because I was crazy about redheads. 13 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,340 No, I would have remembered that. 14 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:46,460 Maybe you blocked it out. 15 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:52,420 The mind is very incredible when it comes to erasing traumatic memories. 16 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,420 Ask anyone I've ever made love to. Hey! 17 00:00:56,030 --> 00:00:59,070 Abbott and Fat Stella, quit grab -assing and get back to work. 18 00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:02,390 I can only gut the souls that are in front of me, Mr. Bossman. 19 00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:06,010 So rather than get a supervisor, you just shoot the shit for three hours? 20 00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:09,930 got a movie blog. I know he has a movie blog. You're right about Land Before 21 00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:10,930 Time 5. 22 00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:12,270 Excellent foot. 23 00:01:13,910 --> 00:01:15,310 Must be a blockage. 24 00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:16,870 Oh, God. 25 00:01:17,430 --> 00:01:22,190 Must be a couple of 660 -pound learning chattel fatties just gumming up the 26 00:01:22,190 --> 00:01:23,190 works. 27 00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:31,500 Well, here's your problem right there. 28 00:01:31,780 --> 00:01:35,720 Yeah, obviously. There's a huge beaver dam blocking the river Styx. 29 00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:39,520 Look at that. They're so cute. They've got like a little community. Just grab 30 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,060 the dynamite. Let's blow this shit up. Yeah, let's annihilate it. Wait! 31 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,000 I need those beavers. 32 00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:46,480 We must not hurt the beavers. 33 00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,660 What do you give a shit about beavers, Dr. Mengele? 34 00:01:49,660 --> 00:01:52,900 Carrie, look at this rag. 35 00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:55,320 I can't really see it because it's all... 36 00:02:01,759 --> 00:02:03,340 What have you done to me? 37 00:02:03,580 --> 00:02:04,479 Don't worry. 38 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,260 What have you done to me? Everything's fine. 39 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:09,680 I just sewed your head onto a beaver body. Oh, my God. 40 00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:14,560 What did you do to Claude, my best friend? What did you do? 41 00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:19,060 Nothing. I'm fine. I know not to look at a rag when a Nazi shoves it in my face. 42 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:20,360 You look sweaty, Claude. 43 00:02:20,810 --> 00:02:23,730 You sure you wouldn't like to take a shower? I have a shower. 44 00:02:23,990 --> 00:02:27,410 For the last time, Dr. Mengele, I'm not interested and I never will be. Oh, 45 00:02:27,410 --> 00:02:31,150 don't be like that. It feels so good. You sure you wouldn't like it? Not 46 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:35,810 interested. Oh, give it a go. No, thank you. It has one of those pulsating 47 00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:38,550 muscles. Ah, shit. You're being very polite about it, but no. 48 00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:43,050 The water is refreshing. No, it's not. You love it. Thank you, but no thanks. 49 00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:44,510 You're welcome, but please. 50 00:02:44,730 --> 00:02:48,690 No. I want a shower. You're not allowed to take a shower because I'm just 51 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:53,970 spraying you with some very potent beaver pheromone. That's beaver piss. 52 00:02:53,970 --> 00:02:56,770 want you to run into the beaver dam. 53 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:01,200 and shake it around a little bit. You know, the way the beavers like it. And 54 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:06,280 then you run out of there on your little beaver legs and you lure them into 55 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:07,280 these cages. 56 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,100 I hate to break it to you, Dr. Mengele, but nobody's going to want to have sex 57 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:14,020 with that, not even an animal. I'm sick of your criticisms, Claude. Benji said 58 00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:18,320 if I was 20 years younger, he'd have no problems molesting me. All right? 59 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,060 So put me in, coach. 60 00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:21,380 Yeah. 61 00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:27,810 You have to at least admit that Spielberg's a great director. 62 00:03:29,050 --> 00:03:31,770 Who? Oh, God, they're following me! Oh, God! 63 00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:37,570 Dr. 64 00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:49,090 Mengele? Are you cloning Hitler? 65 00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:50,450 What? 66 00:03:51,590 --> 00:03:52,590 You're crazy! 67 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,940 Just because I'm German, everything's Hitler, Hitler, Hitler. 68 00:03:56,260 --> 00:03:58,040 That's very hurtful. 69 00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,720 You're wearing the armband. 70 00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:03,040 That is heritage, not hate. 71 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:07,980 Look, everyone loves pure adrenaline thrill rides. 72 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,120 Why not pure racist men? 73 00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:16,100 People are so PC these days. Hitler wasn't like that. He would speak his 74 00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:17,760 He was a great man. 75 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,000 He deserves to be clothed. 76 00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:22,650 But I'm definitely not trying to clone Hitler. 77 00:04:27,090 --> 00:04:30,050 I knew it. You're cloning Hitler. 78 00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:34,430 No, no, no, no, no. Why would Hitler hire himself? 79 00:04:35,470 --> 00:04:42,330 I'm going to give you a T -shirt. I know you people love free gaudy 80 00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:44,650 trinkets. The Fourth Reich, Reich back. 81 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:50,460 We would be required to wear that if we were ever to take over hell, which we 82 00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:56,620 are definitely not doing. Right. Okay. I'm going to get and I actually left my 83 00:04:56,620 --> 00:05:00,320 fiddler on the roof. So adios. Have a good one. 84 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,160 What? 85 00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:12,360 Be sure to tell your Satan we are not cloning Hitler to take over hell with a 86 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,360 giant robot. 87 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,440 Okay, well, good luck not cloning Hitler. 88 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:17,280 Mangala is cloning Hitler. 89 00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:18,259 Oh, cool. 90 00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:22,520 That should be fun. He told me to tell you that he has no interest in invading 91 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:27,260 hell, which is exactly what they told Poland and Czechoslovakia and Russia. So 92 00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,660 you've come to Satan to stop the genocide. 93 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:32,660 When you put it that way, it sounds silly. 94 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:34,540 Hey, uh... 95 00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:38,830 Where's my body? Because I don't want to eat any more wood, and I don't want to 96 00:05:38,830 --> 00:05:42,230 be forcibly group -sexed by animals anymore. 97 00:05:42,570 --> 00:05:46,250 But how would you lead the army of Aryan beavers in the overthrow of hell? 98 00:05:46,490 --> 00:05:50,230 Well, that's something I'm not going to do, because that is something that we 99 00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:51,230 did not discuss. 100 00:05:51,270 --> 00:05:55,650 It may have escaped, because I attached the beaver's head to your body. 101 00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:59,210 You'll just sew any two goddamn things together, won't you? 102 00:05:59,770 --> 00:06:02,230 Gary, give me back my three -hole punch. 103 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:08,200 Hold it. Okay. You can just... No, you can add it to your home. 104 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:14,180 Mein Führer. Yeah, yeah. Would you like to make a rousing speech to inspire our 105 00:06:14,180 --> 00:06:17,580 loyalists to rise up against the demon oppressors? 106 00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:19,580 Yeah. 107 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:29,580 No, no, no, you talk into it. I know history, Bob, but Hitler's only supposed 108 00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:30,579 have two arms. 109 00:06:30,580 --> 00:06:36,080 I had some left over. I gave him ten testicles. Stop playing with your 110 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:42,340 testicles! Stop that now! Because you will pay for the shot! 111 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,020 Maybe you should be piloting the short -and -furter. 112 00:07:37,049 --> 00:07:38,049 Satan? Doc? 113 00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:42,210 Gary? I'm not part of this shit. We've come for your surrender. 114 00:07:43,110 --> 00:07:46,190 Here are our terms. Okay. 115 00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:51,510 Bow down to the Fuhrer. 116 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:54,890 You got it? 117 00:07:55,010 --> 00:08:00,930 Yeah, and I'd also like some of those porno discs where the woman takes the 118 00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:01,930 on the man. 119 00:08:03,490 --> 00:08:04,550 Yeah, we got some of those. 120 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:06,840 Is that the Fuhrer? 121 00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:12,540 No, don't play with your buck! This goofy shit's been going on all 122 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,660 No, stay right there! 123 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,720 It's too high! No! 124 00:08:18,020 --> 00:08:19,020 No! 125 00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:28,600 Right into the acid fountain. I just had that 126 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:29,599 put in last night. 127 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,260 Oh, well. 128 00:08:35,370 --> 00:08:37,650 Buddy, you don't got to cry. You got the arm. 129 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:41,450 We can clone another Hitler. I don't know why you keep cloning Hitler anyway. 130 00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:42,489 You know he's here. 131 00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:43,830 What do you mean? 132 00:08:45,570 --> 00:08:47,370 Adolf Hitler is here. 133 00:08:47,650 --> 00:08:48,650 That's impossible. 134 00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:52,770 He would have reached out to me. We were good friends. 135 00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:54,130 Really? 136 00:08:57,510 --> 00:08:58,510 Joseph? 137 00:08:59,350 --> 00:09:00,350 Thank you. 138 00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:01,490 No, Joseph. 139 00:09:02,450 --> 00:09:03,930 I am no longer that man. 140 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,700 I changed my name to Cody St. 141 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:07,980 Clair. 142 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,800 It's an anagram for Adolf Hitler. 143 00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,300 No, it's not. I'm rebranding myself. 144 00:09:11,540 --> 00:09:14,460 You probably could start with shaving the mustache, so, I mean, that's where I 145 00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:18,580 would start. But I've been building the forthright in your name. What about... 146 00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:19,579 No, I know. 147 00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,420 I moved on, Joseph. People change. 148 00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:25,460 When they pour fire ants up your dick hole for 70 years, you have time to 149 00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:26,460 reflect. 150 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:29,580 I learned that we have to love one another. 151 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:31,560 Because... 152 00:09:36,490 --> 00:09:37,750 I think he's trying to save me. 153 00:09:37,950 --> 00:09:39,570 Claude! Claude, I'm okay. 154 00:09:40,970 --> 00:09:42,190 Claude, stop shooting. 155 00:09:42,910 --> 00:09:45,350 I'm telling him I'm okay and there's still bullets. 156 00:09:46,510 --> 00:09:47,870 Transform into Beaver Man. 157 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,810 Go, Gary, go. 158 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,590 Transform. 159 00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:52,910 This is not working. 160 00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:54,750 Let's see, next thing. 161 00:09:55,390 --> 00:10:00,190 Oh, yes. I am promoting beaver -headed Gary Body to senior vice president in 162 00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:03,430 charge of splinters, so you'll be reporting to him directly, Gary -headed 163 00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:05,070 Body. He's not management material. 164 00:10:06,030 --> 00:10:08,370 He's just dark shit all day. He doesn't talk back. 165 00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:10,090 He's showing his damn table. 166 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:17,330 Knock, knock. I just wanted to apologize again for cloning Hitler 167 00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:24,010 and putting him inside a giant alien robot and trying to take over 168 00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:25,010 hell. 169 00:10:26,650 --> 00:10:30,370 So I've made some gifts as a kind of apology. 170 00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:33,790 There's a candle made from talon. 171 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,780 No Jewish tallow, random tallow. 172 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:41,500 And there's some soap for the shower. 173 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,960 This is wonderful. Totally uncalled for. 174 00:10:45,180 --> 00:10:46,280 Now, shut up. Yeah, yeah. 175 00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:48,620 It's great. 176 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,420 I never noticed the shower heads in the ceiling before. 177 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,360 Door's locked. 178 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,100 And that's your clone? 179 00:11:06,180 --> 00:11:07,740 Satan! Satan! 180 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,200 Yes? 181 00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,980 What you talking about, Mandela? 13918