Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Benji. And those of you who know me know I'm crazy about young boys. But

that doesn't impact my ability to sexually harass women in the workplace.

Hey, Becky, that's a dynamite pantsuit. Well, thank you.

Practice with me. Say, do you need a man's help, sugar boobs? Do you need a

man's help, sugar boobs?

Why don't you let me help you unfasten that bra so you can better see the

pornographic picture I just sent you?

I would like equal pay for equal work.

Jeez, is it that time of the month already?

Now fetch me some coffee, Becky.

I'm done with you sexually.

Okay.

Any, uh, any questions?

Why are we watching this video?

There's no women around here.

Times are changing, Gary.

Women are just as capable as men in the workplace.

So I'm bringing in some stupid bimbos to work with you guys.

Any other questions?

Yeah, William.

My tates are falling out.

That's more of a statement, William.

Hi. I'm Claude, Satan's number two.

Got you a welcome gift.

Leaves of grass?

It's a collection of poems by Walt Whitman. Walt's actually down here

he's gay.

If you ever want to meet him, I have an in.

These poems are so, uh, sensual, don't you think?

I also got you a bookmark.

Safety first.

Hey,

sweetheart. Are you looking for a chair?

Let me, uh, clear some space so you can sit down.

I'm Troy. You got a burger to go with that shake?

Boy,

you're right. She does, and I should go call her right now.

Who's been digging into the pork wall?

Hasim, I thought you guys were Muslims.

Do I get to smell people's breath?

You did.

I did this?

It's taken you many months, but this has almost told you.

I just want to motorboat it.

You guys are the luckiest group of people in this whole place.

Oh, man.

Hi. You must be one of the new girls.

It's lovely to meet you. I hope everything's settling in okay.

Well, righty -dooty. Let me know if you need anything.

Holy shit.

You walk this way. I'm going to walk that way.

All right.

We will fix this.

Mama Leone! I am not stalking you.

You go that way. I'm going to go this way.

Oh, man.

Leave me alone.

What shape are you going to be before my sweet birthday?

Oh, man.

You want some?

Please don't kill me. Please.

Wait wait wait wait.

enlightening and informative presentation on what everybody's mothers

doing down here in hell.

I got nothing out of that.

How are you ladies settling in?

Claude touched you. Wait, no.

She touched me first. She melted my hand. I was just helping her set up her

email. Oh,

Claude. Poetry and colored condoms? Gentlemen, I did a whole presentation on

this, and inter -office romance is strictly forbidden.

Well, I have a bomb. shell to drop.

Gary moved the copier in front of his cube so that he and Lee...

Gary, what's he talking about? I don't know. I don't know what he's talking

about, Satan. Now he's smoking, and I find it disgusting.

Gary's right, Claude. Please take the smoky down to the loading dock.

He thinks we're going to have inter -office romance? What the heck?

Say it again.

Say it again.

Say it.

Come on. Call her a thing again.

Call her a thing again.

Who wants it?

Here comes the food. We can all hear every word that's coming out of your

mouth. Mind your own business.

I'm in here.

I'm filing difficult stuff.

My coworker.

Filing your dick under the folder marked vagina? You're really distracting me in

a bad way, Troy.

I love you too. I really do.

But I think we're moving too fast.

You're moving too fast.

You are literally an unseeable blur.

That's so cool.

Is that where you live?

Yeah.

Whoa.

Whoa, I'm in the TV.

I'm a movie star.

I'm going to try something. I'm going to try something.

Am I doing it?

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Don't blame Lee. She's got nothing to do with it. I talked her into it, and I'm

just... I'm not sorry.

I'm your most valued employee, right?

I can't even, I cannot do this.

Lee and I are a platonic team together, and we, uh...

We're dating.

Go on and date her.

What? I don't give a shit.

You got some real balls on you, Gary.

Yes, they are very swollen. Yeah, they are.

I think I sat on a bee.

They do look bigger, right? Listen, I didn't care about you two hooking up. I

just said no inter -office romance because she's got that curse, you know.

What curse?

The curse where you get elephant -tited to the nut sack when you have sex with

her.

But we can be open about dating each other.

Oh, my gosh, of course. Send out the invitations.

Yes! We did it!

Love you, Mimi. Oh, okay, okay, all right. I got, like, accidentally hard,

it makes them hurt worse.

Having a barbecue this weekend, y 'all!

Lee and I are having a bit of a housewarming this weekend inside the TV

bone. I really hope you can stop by, Claude. Lee can pull you through the TV

she doesn't melt the rest of you first.

If I do come...

I'll take Troy's TV.

Troy has a TV? Yeah.

Go eat something.

Oh, wow, Troy.

It's a pretty big TV.

Is that a 50 -incher?

Yeah, something like that.

That's pretty big.

You going to come by the barbecue on Santa Ray?

Yeah, I think I'm going to be pretty busy that day, Gary. It's really weird.

never turn on a party.

And normally somebody turns around when somebody's talking to them.

I knew I thought you'd buy an Audi.

We were going to tell you after the barbecue.

Son of a bitch! Oh, you took it for granted! You don't know what I do!

Oh, mamma mia!

Oh,

honey, respect!

The point got in.

Everyone makes mistakes, Lee.

Can you ever forgive me for not satisfying you?

Thanks, Lee.

I can get better at it.

I can push more. I can...

Hey!

Where's the barbecue, boys?

Well, I guess it's been canceled.

Canceled? Why?

Take a look.

They're really trying to work it out there, aren't they?

And I had these prop balls made to mess with Gary.

Troy, do you mind?

I can probably get up. A toast.

To Gary and Lee.

So has anybody hit on that your mother sucks ding -dongs and hell chicken?

What time do we tell everybody to get here?

Ass and testicles are blocking the door.

Can you open a portal to another TV?

Not Troy's.

What did we talk about?

We're going to backtrack of all the work we did.

I'm not burning them. This is a char.

I'm releasing the natural sugars. I don't need you to backseat. Cook me,

It's really weird that nobody's wailing on my defenseless testicles right now.

Oh, here it comes.

Oh, God, sorry.

I'm a damn nut.

I am Bernie.