Original subtitles

This isn't a Belgian waffle.

You need batter.

This is amateur hour. You're the batter. No, you're the batter. You got to lie

down in the thing, close the lid, your guts come out into tiny squares, and

makes the waffle.

No, I'm deflavoring.

You still need batter.

This should have been buttered or some type of nonstick, because you're never

going to get me out of here. No, you supposed to stick, so then when I pull

the lid, parts of you get stuck to both sides of it. Cleanup is a bitch with

these things. If you wanted to squish me and press me and burn me in a waffle

iron, that's one thing. But if you want to make what you were told, Belgian

waffles a la Troy, you need some batter. He's stalling. Just close the lid. By

the way, I should have been buried.

Hours ago.

Just go bury Eddie. I'll cook myself. I got this.

You're not supposed to do that. You are now a torture, okay?

Stop putting on air.

It's just a little slap on the wrist. I'm going to be red and running the show

before you know it. And when you see me walking around in my pleated khakis

again, Eddie boy, you are going to be at the top of my ass -kicking list. Can

you help me bury him and then we'll come back here and we can do the waffle

thing together?

You can't handle two tortures at once, can you? Hey, he's talking back. He's

supposed to do that.

Yeah, don't you talk back, Troy.

Because you talk back, I'm going to start kicking back. That's burial, Gary.

Two torches at once.

Talk about multitasking.

Oh, no, Eddie's suffocating. Hurry, Gary, save his life. Give him mouth to

mouth.

But he's still making noise. I don't think he needs to.

All right.

What's up with this waffle? There's no batter on it. I was just taking a little

break, Satan.

Gary said I could.

You lie!

You know, I came here to give you your horns back, Troy. Thank you so much,

You know, but on second thought, I think you haven't learned your lesson.

Eddie, I have no idea how you buried yourself alive and somehow added a

of dead flowers on top.

Well, Gary did all the work, sir. I did all the work, sir. No, you didn't shut

up, Gary.

I've been watching you since the late 70s, just walking around here with your

head up your ass. But today, you showed me you got what it takes to be a demon.

Eddie, these are yours.

Oh, thank you, sir. Those are my horns. I put my initials on them. Troy is

excelling in our torture program.

Which is why I'm giving you my Torture of the Month award.

Eddie, I want you to give Troy his trophy.

And I've got some lube and some instructions here on how to insert it.

that's not lube, that's sand.

Is this really happening?

Hey, Troy, you know I didn't ask for this.

You're going to Hollywood!

anything that's like animal free, cruelty free?

I'm a vegan.

I got raw hide.

Deer hide.

No, I... Horse hide.

These are all animals. I want something that isn't an animal.

I got suede back here. You know, that does come from an animal, I believe.

Cow hide.

Listen to the first part of that.

One shot is 12.

Try cracking that. See how that bad boy does.

Thank you so much.

There you go! you Wall Street scum, you predatory lending prick.

Terrific. Bye, Troy.

Ready for Eddie.

Wow,

this is my new cube?

Hi, Keith.

What's up, man?

I got your email set up, Eddie. Thank you, Keith.

Your password's trader dollar sign fell out.

This should be easy for you to remember, but I put it on a post -it. Don't do me

like this.

I'm still the same old Eddie.

Yeah, don't you tell yourself when you whip us? When you're sitting in your

fancy cube?

You're such an asshole since the promotion.

I'm just doing my job here. Don't bust my balls on this. Why not? You're going

to be busting ours with the gonad hammer down my ball -busting rock.

Yes, probably, but again, I'm just doing my job. I'm sorry.

Way to remember where you came from.

Damn. Eddie, my man.

What's up, man? I heard the good news.

Punch it in, baby.

Don't leave me hanging like this.

Come on, Eddie. Punch it in, man. Would you die for him, Eddie?

Would you die for him, Eddie?

Oh, there he is.

Welcome aboard, Eddie.

Give me some skin.

Give me some skin, Eddie.

Skin's the best part.

Just give it a minute. Yeah.

We look forward to working with you.

Eddie! Stop it! Eddie!

It's good to be aboard.

No, I know. I know you are. I'm happy to be part of the team.

All right, this next little bit's got nothing to do with our jobs. It's

hologram. It's good to be aboard.

I'm happy to be aboard.

It's so cold, Mama.

What will we eat to sustain ourselves, Mama?

What would you advise them to eat?

Think, Eddie. What poor defenseless thing in this scene is edible?

Congratulations! You chose the baby. No, no, no, no, no. The baby blank and not

the baby. The baby will be an excellent source of protein for these settlers

until they're brutally murdered by Indians.

Bring him down.

Good job picking the baby. Babies are good eaters. They're like the veal of

people, you know? For the record, I picked a blanket.

Did you write this email and send it to the entire department? I'm confused. It

came from your computer. It says, uh, I don't have what it takes to be a demon.

I'm weak and soft, not strong like Troy.

Troy should have his horns back.

Stupid Satan really blew it with this one.

Satan's a sad loser, almost as sad as Eddie, who is me.

Who is very weak. Why would I write that? I mean, I worship you, sir.

did write this, Eddie, has got spunk and grit. He's treacherous. He's not afraid

to speak his mind, you know?

Oh, you know I did write that. No, you didn't. You know who did write this?

Troy. Troy hacked into your account to purposely make you look bad. Because

got attitude, Eddie. And you need to get that attitude.

Have you shoved that trophy up his ass yet? Oh, no. We said we were going to

circle back and forth because that's what fits Troy's schedule. He doesn't

the schedule. You do.

Now you take this trophy and you shove it up his ass. You hear me?

Yes, right. Get out of here. No, I'll put it in his ass. Yeah, get in there.

Please don't do it, Eddie. Please. I'm begging you. I'm begging you. You don't

have to do this. It's too bad.

I can't hack it. I'm weak. I'm not strong like you. I'm not strong like

weak. My body's not made for that to happen to me. Please. I'm begging you.

Please. Take mercy on me, Eddie. Please.

All right.

All right. I won't do it. See, Satan? Eddie doesn't have what it takes to do

this job. Bottom line. No, I want to be a demon. I just don't like to butt

stuff. I need demons that can do the butt stuff, Eddie. I can do the butt

There it is.

I got one demon who doesn't do what he's told and another one who doesn't have

what it takes.

Fellas, I think there's only one way to decide this.

Gentlemen, behold.

The wall of the dam.

Yeah, I rented it. It's got to be back in a couple hours. So, listen, Troy,

Eddie, each one of you is going to attempt to get to the top using Troy's

horns as your only tool.

Now, whoever rings the bell in the shortest amount of time is going to wear

horns. Troy, you're going first.

All right.

Starting now.

You're going to fall.

Yes, sir. You'll never make it.

All right, let's shoot at him. Ben, pass out the guns. I want one pellet gun for

Demon. I got a bottle of water for whoever shoots Troy off the wall.

Oh, hey, what the...

How'd you top that, you son of a bitch?

Oh, hey!

That's two seconds. That's a new record.

He can't do that, can he?

Congratulations. Welcome to the Brotherhood of Demons!

never again okay don't paint me in this red shit no more

you know everybody has to do it you know henry matt yeah i'm a torture now and

i'm going to stay a torture for the rest of the season because i'm not putting

that red shit back can't we do the red digitally now Digital. There you go. And

then we wouldn't have to sit through it. Shane, I love what you do. I love you

guys' work, but we wouldn't have to do it. And these pants, these are fur. It's

hot as hell in there. I mean, we could digitize the pants.

We have two more weeks of shooting. Just two more weeks and you gut it out. I

can't rewrite it. All right, fine, fine.

You mean it? I'll do it. Yeah. All right, thank you. Thank you. Thank you

much. You're welcome. All right.

Today's agent is on the phone.

Hey, Spencer.

Dave. What's up? Hey, Joe. Eddie.

face uh he's all good i talked to him like two minutes ago he's kind of upset

but we're well he just texted me one minute ago and he said definitely

want to do the red paint so uh maybe make him a human demon that's flesh

i think that's funnier anyway they don't all need to be red bye -bye no way are

we doing we're not doing it it's too bad i had to forfeit my victory and now

You're red, and I'm not because you're a demon again.

Yeah, I won. I won. I'm the demon, and I'm so happy about it. Back to being a

tortured, not with the horns and red skin that you enjoy.

I guess being a demon just wasn't for me. Shut up, you son of a bitch.

Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow!

I like this.

Work. You look great.