Original subtitles

So you can see that Sheldon has a baby tooth that never fell out.

Is that a problem?

Well, it's going to keep the adult tooth from coming down, and it's going to

need to be extracted.

Oh, he is not going to be happy about that.

No, he is not.

Are you sure we can't just wait this thing out? Well, it's going to cause all

the other teeth around it to come in crooked, and, well, you know, braces can

expensive. Oh.

He is going to freak out about the pain and the needle and the blood.

Yeah, I wouldn't mention that stuff, would you, Tom?

Can't you tell him? I couldn't tell him.

But you're his doctor.

And you're his mommy. Which means that I have to deal with him all the time.

Help me out here?

No.

Okay. Can we tell him together?

No.

All right.

What if I put your business card free of charge in the next church newsletter?

So, Sheldon, a little bit of dental news.

You have a baby tooth that never fell out.

Neat. Even my teeth are stubborn.

Anyway, in order for your teeth to come in straight, Dr.

Bowers is going to need to pull it out.

Why didn't I hear this from him?

I have the same question.

But a tooth extraction is a major procedure.

Not necessarily.

Will there be blood?

A little.

Will there be a needle?

Maybe, but you won't feel it because he's going to put you under first. Put

under? With drugs?

That's even more dangerous.

Sheldon, lots of people get their teeth pulled. It's not a big deal.

Stop enjoying this.

Sorry. No, you're not.

No, I'm not.

This is not exactly the date night I'd envisioned when I was shaving my legs.

I'm almost done.

We're elderly, you know. If anything, dinner should be early.

Well, I tell you what, when I'm finished, I am going to whisk you off to

finest and the only Chinese food place in town.

Ying? Their nachos are weird.

I don't know. It's not a bad idea to maybe venture out of Medford once in a

while. Even better, why don't we go away for the weekend?

Oh, come on. You know how hard it is for me to get out of the store?

What's the point of being the boss if you can't get somebody else to do your

work for you?

I might be able to leave Georgie in charge.

My grandson?

That'd be the one.

I want to go, so I'm just going to say, good idea.

Awesome. What can I do for you? Do you have any books or videos on the Lamaze

technique? Uh -oh.

George, you get that girl pregnant?

It's for me. I need to have a tooth pulled, and I'd like to do it without

putting my brain on drugs.

Okay. I've seen that commercial with the egg in the frying pan.

Very effective.

Well, since this is a high school, we don't have material about giving birth

the shelves.

But... Since this is a high school, I keep a few things here under the

Excellent. And I'll let my brother know in case he gets himself in a pickle.

You're having a tooth pulled.

I'm not having a baby.

If it can work for getting an eight -pound human through a birth canal, it

work for a tiny tooth.

Eight pounds?

I'm never having kids.

Fun fact, she ended up having four.

And if I do, I'm taking any drugs they'll give me.

That part was true.

Hey, Georgie.

I'm thinking about taking your Meemaw away for this weekend.

Okay. You have my blessing.

Thank you.

And I was wondering maybe if you'd look after the store while I'm gone.

You saying I'm the manager?

Oh, I'm saying I want you to look after the store while I'm gone.

But in a managerial capacity.

You think you can handle it? Yes, sir. I will make you proud.

Great. Can I fire people?

No. Can I get paid more?

No. Can I at least change the music we play here?

What's wrong with the music we play here? Nothing.

It's just kind of grandpa music.

How is this grandpa music?

Do you listen to it?

Yeah. Do you have grandchildren?

Yeah.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Okay, Sheldon, you ready?

Not really.

Yeah, that makes two of us. Why don't you guys come on back?

You know what? I'm just going to stay here.

You don't need me getting in your way.

Well, it's no trouble at all. Come on.

I've got my crochet.

You're coming.

Fine.

Don't need to worry about needles, because we're going to put you under for

procedure. No, thank you. There are risks associated with anesthesia.

Feel free to jump in.

Are there any other options?

Well, he can stay awake for it, but we'd have to give him Novocaine.

No needles. Just pull the tooth.

Okay.

Just so you know, I'm going to be using this.

Drugs, please.

Do you go to this casino often?

Kinda.

So don't be surprised if everybody knows my name. Now I take my whiskey in the

color of my lucky bra.

Purple. No, that's my get -lucky bra.

So what are you into?

Craps? Roulette?

No, not much of a gambler.

You just left Georgie in charge of your store, so... Disagree.

He's a lot smarter than you think.

Maybe you're not as smart as I think.

Well, if you like me just for my body, I'm okay with that.

There you go. I hope you enjoyed your shopping experience.

I did.

I'd let the manager know, but he already does. Because it's me.

I'll take it.

It's been a pleasure to serve you.

You might want to slow down. We don't have a license to sell guns in here.

Just kidding. It's Texas. We got them in the back.

Okay, Sheldon, we're going to put the mask on. Now you just breathe normally

count back from 100.

But counting back from 100 isn't complex enough to occupy my mind.

You're up again.

Why don't you think of something more science -y?

Like counting pi.

That's a thing, right? Pi?

I can't count pi. It's an irrational number. But I can embrace the spirit of

your proposal and calculate the matrix coefficients necessary for a unified

field theory. Do that. Hit it.

Of the four fundamental forces, the most difficult to unify is gravity

because... Oh, thank God.

Yep, right up.

Step right up for your chance to meet, ah, the Egyptian god

of knowledge.

He has all the answers.

No question too big or small.

Hello, young man.

Do you have a question you'd like to pose?

I do, but nobody in the history of science has ever been able to answer it.

Well, they haven't asked the great god, Bob.

Right this way.

Ask your question.

Do you really possess all knowledge?

You only get one question, kid.

You want that to be it?

Oh, no.

How can I unify the four fundamental forces of the universe?

Now we're talking.

In order to unify gravity, you must first understand that it is a distortion

space -time.

Gravity, of course.

Even talks in his sleep. Why am I not surprised?

Didn't feel it at all.

That's how good this helmet is.

Want to take a whack?

Try it on.

I'll be up front when you're ready to buy it.

Oh, no.

Damn it.

26 for the twins.

Birthday three for Georgie and...

Mary wouldn't like it if I used her birthday for gambling, so 13 for her.

All right, for my grandson's birthday, I'm going to go black because I don't

remember. No more bets.

26 black.

Hooray for the grandkids.

Wherever the hell they were born.

You want to go to the bar?

No, we've hit.

We've got to ride this out.

Double zero.

Ride's over.

To the bar.

Oh, you died. You're a ghost now.

Look who's awake.

How are you feeling?

I had a dream.

I solved a unified field theory.

Well, good for you.

But I can't remember it.

Well, you were mumbling something about gravity and forces.

You need to be more specific.

Shelly, you weren't making much sense.

Mother. A unified field theory is the holy grail of physics.

Solving it would be the greatest breakthrough in the history of science.

And you forgot it. That's funny.

Hello, Dr. Bowers. It's Sheldon Cooper.

I need you to administer more anesthesia to me.

No, I don't have a dental problem. I need to reenter a trance -like state so

can communicate with Thoth, the god of knowledge.

I would argue that the greatest discovery of physics is worth losing

license.

Well, it's not my fault you let them publish your home phone number.

Well, this is my favorite table here.

Well, sure.

Every time you put down money, you win.

Oh, this is nice.

You know, I really don't get away from the store enough.

How come you're still working at your age?

What do you mean, my age?

I mean, you're old.

I'm not old.

Well, I'm old, and you're older than me.

That's true.

Well, we make it look good, though.

You don't want to be that guy that just works till he drops dead.

I mean, maybe you should retire.

Having fun.

I'm here with you.

That's a good start.

Because I'm fun. Oh, man, you sure as hell are.

Hey,

you know what would be fun?

New Orleans, just an hour away from here.

Oh, I like where this is headed.

And they got themselves a 24 -hour wedding chapel.

What?

No.

What do you mean, no?

We're good together, and we're both old. That's what you said.

We haven't even said I love you yet.

All right, fine.

I love you.

You're not going to say anything back?

Not under these circumstances.

Dale!

I'd like to report a robbery.

Well, before I tell you my name, is there any way we can do this where the

of the store don't find out?

Because he left me in charge and I really screwed up.

At least $400.

I know it's a lot. That's why I said I screwed up.

I gotta think about this. I'll call you back.

If I was going to recapture my insight into a unified field theory, I needed to

find a way to put myself back into an altered state of consciousness.

Native Americans would sit in sweat lodges for hours to achieve this.

I lasted a minute and a half.

Self -hypnosis is another means of bringing stillness to the mind.

When it isn't giving you a heart attack.

The whirling dervishes of Central Asia employ a repetitive spinning technique

achieve a trance -like state.

You didn't have to storm off.

You're being childish.

So I don't want to get married. It's nothing personal.

Well, it feels personal.

I'm not rejecting you. I'm rejecting marriage.

If it helps. It's not the first proposal I've turned down.

How the hell does that help?

After everything that I've done for you and your family.

You give my grandson a job so I'm supposed to marry you?

Well, you can forget I even asked.

After my other attempts to return to the trance -like state of anesthesia

failed, I turned to something Nancy Reagan herself told me to just say no

My mind -altering substance of choice was chamomile tea.

But not your grandma's chamomile tea, a highly concentrated super chamomile of

my own making.

All the relaxing power of 30 cups of chamomile tea packed into a teaspoon of

calming sludge.

Sorry, Mrs. Reagan.

Okay, Grand Unified Field Derry.

Here I come.

This isn't working.

I disagree.

Seems to be working fine and dandy.

Mr. Einstein, I'm very excited to talk to you, but I was hoping to hear from

Thoth, the Egyptian god of knowledge, so he could teach me the Grand Unified

Field Theory again.

Oh, the Grand Unified Field Theory. Well, la -dee -da.

He told it to me in a dream, but I can't remember.

All right.

Hang on.

Where is the fun in finding things out if some joker with a bird head just

you the answer?

But a grand unified field theory would explain the universe.

Answers are all well and good, but a real scientist loves the thrill of the

chase. Am I right, Hawken?

I would agree.

I do also enjoy the thrill of rolling over bubble wrap with my chair.

It is fun to pop that stuff, isn't it? So fun.

But what if I never figure it out?

I never did, and my scientific career is nothing to sneer at.

Same here.

Agreed.

Don't look at me. I drive a Hugo.

So none of you can help me? I believe I can.

Sheldon, if I was offered a choice between all the knowledge of the

the endless pursuit of it, I would choose the pursuit.

That's very insightful.

Hold it, hold it. He didn't come up with that. He stole it from Godhold Lessing.

Who's Godhold Lessing? He's an 18th century German philosopher.

Now, do you mind?

We girls are trying to have some fun over here.

Apologies. Sorry, Cindy Lauper. Oh, we're bad.

I like fun.

While I made my peace with not having the solution to a unified field theory,

intestines did not make peace with concentrated chamomile syrup.

Oh, dear.

Bathroom emergency!

Bathroom emergency!

What the hell?

Unlock this.

Who's here?

I'll call the cops.

It's just me.

Why are you back so soon?

It's none of your business.

How'd it go yesterday?

It was good.

Until it wasn't.

What do you mean?

I was helping a customer, and I guess I forgot to close their register.

Because when I got back to it, all the money was gone.

Are you kidding me?

I screwed up.

Did you call the police?

I didn't want to get them involved.

But I was gonna make it right.

Here, take it.

So are we good?