Original subtitles

Previously on Young Shelton. I love you.

Veronica. Hey, Georgie. What's up?

We're friends, right?

What do you mean?

I've asked you out a bunch, and you've made it pretty clear you weren't

interested. But before I asked out another girl, I just wanted to make sure

that... It's fine.

So, be around.

Yep.

You better wait. Don't go away now, darling. Wait. Of all my many skills,

the lesser known is my impressive ability to wait for things. I once stood

perfectly still for 38 minutes because a bee was on my shoulder.

I once waited four and a half hours to be released from a locker.

And one time, when Dr.

Sturgis was late for a lecture, I stayed longer than everyone.

Where are you all going?

Professor's not here.

I can teach the class.

I just need a box to stand on.

Dr.

Sturgis? Hello, Sheldon. What brings you here?

You never showed up to class.

Whoops. Time flies when you're having fun.

What could be more fun than giving a physics lecture?

Finishing a physics paper.

Ooh, I like where this is headed.

I'm exploring the notion that time itself is quantized.

Interesting. That sounds like a step towards a unified field theory.

Fingers crossed.

Although, I can't cross my fingers.

Arthritis.

Too dark back here. Do you have a flashlight?

In the glove box, I think.

Can you pass it back?

No, I'm driving.

All right, I'm coming up.

Don't crash while I'm unbuckled.

Really? You need to do this right now.

If Dr. Sturgis' first paper in years is worth risking head trauma, look.

Look at you climbing like a real boy.

Here we go.

A reconsideration of the role of time operators in quantum mechanics.

Grabby title.

I'll wait for the movie.

Ooh, he's opening with a critical examination of the Copenhagen

of quantum mechanics.

That reading in the car made you nauseous. That's in the back seat. Up

fine.

Oh, Sheldon. Sorry.

Well, don't just keep reading.

Nobody else is stronger than I am.

I am

running

over to Berks's for a little while.

Why? Team meeting with the other baseball moms.

You all right until Dad gets home?

Oh, yeah.

Charles is in charge.

Look at this. I'm talking to an egg.

I brought veggies and ranch.

That's nice.

But when I said snacks, I mean wine.

Oh, don't worry. I got plenty of emergency snacks.

All right, let's get to this. We are coming up on the end of the season.

Who wants to handle the team cookout?

Got it. Thank you, Meredith.

Team Pitcher Day. That's me. Carly, you're a gem.

Mary, that leaves you in charge of trophies. Any questions?

Actually, snack time.

There's also, uh, veggies.

This is nice.

I like to think of Chi -Chi's as a more romantic Taco Bell.

So, uh, what do you like to get here?

What? Oh, uh, it doesn't matter. I'll take the same.

Hi, welcome to... Oh, hey, Georgie.

Huh.

I didn't know you worked here.

Well, haven't seen you in a while.

Oh, you know Janet from school?

Yeah, yeah, of course. Hi.

Hi.

So, can I get you all started with some drink?

I'm good with water.

Water sounds great.

Refreshing.

I'm glad Dr. Sturgis let me read his paper before he published.

What is that?

He's getting numbers for the massive neutrinos that are in excess of 100 giga

electron volts.

Well, good for him.

No, it's embarrassing.

He had a 50 -50 shot.

I guess I need to call and let him know what a bonehead mistake he made.

There's probably a nicer way to say it.

Did you hear how massive his neutrinos were? We're well into bonehead

Sheldon, you don't need to be rude to him.

When am I rude?

Stay a child as long as you can.

Adulthood will not be kind to you.

Neat. The veins on your calf look like a road map of Texas.

Did you make this tape bat so Dad would lose weight?

Fine, I'll be polite.

But I still think we could go to San Antonio using Nemo's leg.

Hello? Dr.

Sturgis, it's Sheldon.

I hope you're well.

I am. I just had soup.

Anyway, I was just calling to let you know I read your paper.

Wonderful. What did you think?

I thought your typing was very tidy.

Your sentence structure was impressive.

And your theory was not without succeeding in avoiding success.

Well, Sheldon, you don't need to beat around the bush. We're men of science.

Just give it to me straight.

The masses for your neutrinos are impossible.

Are you sure?

Yes. If they were that heavy, atoms could not be at a decay.

I don't know how I missed that. I'm such an idiot.

You're not an idiot.

You're just a bonehead.

So you're saying you have no feelings for her at all?

I wasn't at the restaurant with her. I was there with you.

That doesn't answer my question.

I was hoping you wouldn't pick up on that.

Did you take me there on purpose?

Hold on a second. Is this one of those spots where we end up making out in the

backseat? No.

That's too bad.

Howdy.

Morning. I need to order some baseball trophies.

Baseball over there.

So many choices.

Mm -hmm.

You should win a trophy for the most trophies.

Maybe not a trophy for customer service.

Is this everything you have?

Impressive, isn't it?

I noticed that there are no baseball trophies with girls on them. Girls don't

play baseball.

Actually, my daughter does.

Oh, good for her.

And some... Some of the girls might like a trophy with a girl on it. Well, then

they'll be very disappointed.

You know what?

I'm gonna take my business elsewhere.

Oh, no.

And you should win a trophy for being such a sourpuss.

Ta -ta.

Hello? Dr. Sturgis, it's Sheldon. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

No, just wondering what became of my career.

Should I call you back later?

Oh, no, I could be downtrodden and Chad at the same time. What's up?

I was thinking about the mass problem of your neutrinos, and I realized we might

be able to solve it if some of the particles have more spin.

Interesting. That would certainly get our neutrino mass to zero.

Although it does open up a problem with double beta decay.

Hmm, that is true.

Unless what it's actually predicting is a magnetic monopole.

might be difficult to control the infinities.

Although, if you consider adding faster -than -light particles like tachyons,

then I suppose you could... Quantize time!

Yes! Hang on.

If we're going to be thinking at this level, I should put on pants.

Can you believe this?

Boy trophy, boy trophy.

Boy trophy.

All I see is my trophy wife.

Nope. Okay.

Look, the only girl trophies are for cheerleading, soccer, and golf.

So buy Missy a golf trophy and tell her it's a skinny band.

George, that poor girl has been watching her brother win awards since he was

three years old.

I'd like for her first one to be special.

Because you think it may also be her last one?

I didn't say that.

But you thought it.

Yeah.

Hey, here you go.

What's this?

It's your tip from the other night. I wanted to give it to you then, but I

wanted to get out of there alive.

Don't worry about it.

You sure?

I'm sure.

So how long you been working there?

Couple weeks, trying to save money for college.

Well, now you have to take this, I insist.

Thank you.

How are things with Jana?

Honestly, I have no idea.

Should you even be talking to me right now?

Probably not.

But I'm glad I am.

Me too.

Bye.

I'd like to end today's lecture with a hilarious physics joke.

Why didn't the photon pack a suitcase?

He was traveling light.

Sheldon? Ha -ha. Thank you.

Class dismissed.

Well, our conversation about my paper resulted in a very

productive couple of days. I completely rewrote the whole thing from scratch.

Exciting. I know credits are usually listed alphabetically, but I'm

fine with my name going second.

Sheldon, I've worked on this paper for years. I'm not putting your name on it

all. But I helped you. You did, but you didn't co -write the paper with me.

Is that so?

Yes, it is.

Well, this is an outrage. After all the help I've given you and I don't even get

credit? Well, of course you are.

You're getting a special thanks in the footnotes. No one reads the footnotes. I

do. Well, I do too, but that doesn't mean I want to be in them.

Sheldon, that's where people get recognition for helping. Oh, you mean

of using my math to convert your hazy theories of meandering into a well

scientific thesis?

I think you're overstating your contribution.

Well, I think you should be wearing a black ski mask because you're trying to

rob me blind.

Well... If anyone should be wearing an odd piece of apparel, it should be you

wearing a baby bonnet, because that's how you're behaving.

Ready to go?

Very.

It's a good thing she showed up, because I do not have a comeback.

Darn it.

When he called me a baby, I should have said, then I guess you needed a baby's

help to fix your paper.

Very clever.

Turn the car around.

We're halfway home. It's not that clever.

Why are you being more supportive of me?

Sheldon John is a lot of things, but he's not a thief.

So you're on his side.

I'm not.

So you're on my side.

For the sake of this car ride, sure.

Okay, here's the plan.

End your relationship with Coach Ballard, date Dr. Sturgis again, get him

love you more than ever, then when he least expects it, break his heart and

that's for Sheldon.

Great plan.

You think so? For the sake of this car ride, sure.

So shiny, aren't you now?

Hello. Remember me?

I thought you were going to take your business elsewhere.

Well, lucky for you, I believe in second chances.

Now, I know that you don't have girl baseball trophies in stock, but could

you have one made special?

Sure.

Great. A custom mold is 50 bucks, and it takes six weeks.

I'm not paying you $50 for a trophy, and I don't have six weeks.

Well, does your daughter look like a horse?

Maybe she'd like this.

I knew all that God talk was covering something really evil.

I am trying to make a special trophy for Miffy.

So I'm going to take this head and put it on that body.

Whatever you say, Dr. Frankenstein.

My daughter deserves to have a trophy that looks something like her.

So this is kind of a feminist gesture on your part.

I prefer to think of it as a maternal gesture.

Let's just split the difference and call it the stuff of nightmares.

It'll look better when I paint it. I don't think so.

Grant Linkletter.

Dr. Linkletter. Sheldon Cooper.

I need your help reporting an academic crime.

Sounds serious.

It is. That's why I'm using my serious voice.

Then I'll use mine as well.

What's going on?

Dr. Sturgis has stolen my work and is using it in his own paper.

Well, that's quite the allegation.

It's not an allegation. It's a fact.

He was getting enormous madness for his neutrinos, and I showed him how to fix

it. But now he's refusing to list me as a co -author.

Well, I think he has a point.

Is the he in that sentence me? Because that is a strange way to phrase it. No,

the he is him. I don't play games with sentence structure.

Look, I haven't done a forensic examination of this paper, but it's not

to show your work to a colleague to get their feedback.

But I fixed his paper.

This kind of accusation could have real consequences.

I consider my next steps very carefully.

You're no help. Put me through to your supervisor.

Please let me speak to John before you take this any further.

All right, but if he calls me a baby, feel free to say that I guess you needed

baby to fix your paper.

That's a good one, but I'm not going to say it.

I bet the guy who invented the spork is a millionaire.

I guess.

I wonder if his last name is Spork.

It comes from spoon and fork.

Spork.

Oh, my God, mind is blown.

You know what you should do? Cut your hair.

What? I think it'd look better.

Ooh, maybe a little beard like George Michael.

I wonder how tall he is.

I bet he's tall.

Hey, I have something to show you.

What's that?

I was going to give this to you at the end of the season party, but I was so

excited that I wanted you to see it now.

I couldn't find any girl baseball trophies, so I made you one.

Why is her head so big?

It's a Barbie head. I had to improvise. You chopped the head off one of my

Barbies? Don't be silly. I bought a new one.

I could have had a new Barbie.

The point is, you deserve to be recognized appropriately for everything

accomplished.

You can't give that to me in front of all the boys.

Why? It's embarrassing.

Well, we have plenty of time. I can make the head smaller or the body bigger or

a little bit more.

I just want the same trophy everyone else gets.

But I want you to feel special.

And I just want to feel regular.

Okay.

Well, I'll make sure you get a regular one at the party.

Thank you.

Mom, wait.

I get what you were trying to do.

Nice.

Nice.

Can I keep that one, too?

You really want it?

I do.

Despite her many flaws...

My sister did have a soft spot in her heart.

And a fondness for blowing things up.

Hello? How dare you accuse me of plagiarism? And to my colleague, no

This is my reputation you're jeopardizing.

Well, give me the credit I deserve and I'll stop.

We've been over this.

You made a helpful suggestion, and then you arrogantly assumed that it entitled

you to a co -author credit, which it doesn't. But I was the one who... I've

your friend and mentor.

The idea that I would steal from you is both personally and professionally

insulting.

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but... Sheldon, I don't want to see you

class anymore.