Original subtitles

Previously on Young Sheldon.

Dr. Linkletter, please meet my girlfriend, Connie Tucker.

Connie, did you grow up in Texas?

Took my first bath in a ten -gallon hat. Oh my goodness, you're as funny as you

are beautiful.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were sweet -talking my date right in

front of me.

Hello? Hi, Dr. Linkletter, it's Connie Tucker.

Connie, to what do I owe the pleasure?

I need a favor.

Of course. Should we discuss it over dinner? I'll take a rain check on that.

was hoping that my grandson could join in your physics class until John is, uh,

back. From the mental hospital?

Yes. The one he never told you he'd been in before?

Yes. A curious ethical choice on his part, if you ask me. Can he take the

or not?

Of course. I never taught a child before.

Is he potty trained?

Teachers have always been impressed by me.

And my new college professor was no exception.

You'd think it was my once -in -a -generation intellect, but it was more

that. There was my wicked sense of humor.

Entropy.

It isn't what it used to be.

Plus, when things got heavy, I was always ready with a fun fact to lighten

mood. Fun fact. Did you know that... the ancient Incas stored bureaucratic

records on knotted strings called quipu?

Q -U -I -P -U, quipu.

Whatever the reason, I was clearly his favorite student.

Connie, what a treat it is to see you.

Look at him smile.

He couldn't get enough of me.

Sheldon, if you're interested, an old friend of mine is giving a lecture next

week on the mathematics of robotic communication.

Really? Yes.

If your grandmother's willing to drive you, maybe we can all go. Make a night

it. Oh, we'll be there.

Wait, we don't even know what night it is. Thursday.

Oh, Thursday might be a problem for me. Thursday's perfect for you. Wonderful.

You don't know that.

Yes, I do.

Mondays you have bowling.

Tuesdays water aerobics. Wednesday salsa dancing.

Fridays you bring me here. Your Thursday was wide open, but not anymore.

We'll see you then.

Excellent. Should we plan on dinner beforehand?

Just hold on.

Can I speak to you for a moment?

The grown -ups need to talk. That wasn't made clear.

You're asking me out in front of my grandson, so I can't say no.

You saw through that.

You think you're pretty smart.

Well, I do have two PhDs and a date with you on Thursday.

You order something from the Mountain View Candy Company?

Oh yeah, thanks.

What the hell is it? A big old box of candy.

What's all this about candy?

That robotics lecture is going to be eye -opening. Get ready to forget

everything you know about robot communication.

Moonpie, I don't know if we're going to go to this thing.

Why not? We've established that you're free and I'm a child, so my schedule is

wide open.

It's complicated.

We're just sitting here and we have to talk about something.

Can you just let this one go?

I think we both know the answer to that question.

Fine.

There are certain grown -up dynamics taking place here that you might not be

aware of.

Well, I like quantum chromodynamics and thermodynamics.

Perhaps I'll like grown -up dynamics.

Tell me.

I'm just saying that Dr. Linkletter might be paying special attention to you

so he can become better friends with me.

Why? You're just going to have to trust me on this one.

Are you saying he doesn't really want me at this lecture? No, I'm just saying he

really wants me at this lecture.

But that's illogical. He knows you're in a relationship with Dr. Sturgis.

And now we're back to, it's complicated, so drop it.

I'll try, but dropping things is not where I shine.

Hey, what you buying?

M &Ms.

Cool. Be another plane.

Am I in trouble?

You sure are if you waste your money on that machine.

What?

I'm selling the same stuff for half the price.

Cool.

Oh, you got abba zabbas? Do I have abba zabbas?

Do you?

Yeah.

Tam, I need help navigating a social situation.

I'm meeting lunch with you. You think I have the answer?

Dr. Linkletter invited me to a lecture on robotics, but my meemaw said he's

doing it to spend time with her.

Are you asking if men do sketchy things to get dates?

Yes. Well, then I can help you.

Absolutely.

Last week, I told Jessica Geiger I was an extra in Karate Kid Part 2.

Did it work?

Again, I'm having lunch with you.

Grant Linkletter.

This is Sheldon Cooper. I'm speaking quietly because I'm calling from a

Hello, Sheldon.

Nice to hear from you.

Why are you whispering?

Are you in a library?

Good point.

How can I help you?

My Meemaw doesn't want to take me to the lecture because she thinks that you're

just using me to spend time with her.

I see.

Well, you're an intelligent young man.

What do you think?

I think she's wrong and you invited me because you know I appreciate the

matter.

Exactly right.

You're even smarter than I thought.

I knew it.

My Meemaw couldn't be more wrong.

Oh, like you were reading a book anyway.

You sure you're only a freshman? Because you've got the sophisticated taste buds

of a junior. Easy.

Hey, Veronica.

What was that about?

Just conducting a little business.

Careful. My sister sold stuff at school. She ended up in juvie.

Nothing like that.

Just handy.

Very entrepreneurial.

I'm impressed.

Impressed. Impressed. Impressed.

What can I say? I'm entrepreneurialistic.

Is that a word?

I don't know. But if you got a lot of money, you get to make stuff up.

All right, well, good luck.

Hey, you look like a Kit Kat man.

Good news. You can take me to the lecture after all.

Why is that?

I told Dr. Linkletter everything... Stop.

Come inside.

Why?

Because there's kids in this neighborhood who don't need to hear the

I'm about to use.

What exactly did you say to Dr. Linkletter?

I said, hello, this is Sheldon Cooper. I'm speaking quietly because I'm calling

from a library.

And he said... Get to the point.

He's not using me to spend time with you. He said so. You're wrong.

You had no business calling him, Sheldon. You seem upset. Are you

because you were wrong?

No. Are you sure? I would be.

I'm not wrong.

He's lying to you, Sheldon.

Interesting. I don't know who to believe.

Really? You're going to believe some guy you barely know over your own

grandmother? Well, one of them said I'm really smart, and one of them is yelling

at me right now.

We're done talking about this, and I'm not taking you to that lecture.

But I really want to go. Too bad.

You are incredibly selfish.

Excuse me.

You just care about what you want. You don't care about what I want. You're

selfish.

How come your eyes stop blinking?

crazy. Let me call her.

Really? You don't want to thank her in person?

Pardon me.

I'm interested in getting some jewelry.

Well, sure. What's the occasion?

There's a young lady and I'd like to get her something special.

Well, aren't you sweet?

I like to think so.

So, what are you looking for? A necklace?

Ankle bracelet?

Uh, earrings?

Hmm. Tough to choose between her neck, ankles, and ears.

They're all smoking hot.

You were very rude to your grandmother.

Dad's rude to her all the time.

That is not the point.

Do you have anything to say for yourself?

Yes. I really wanted to go to this lecture, and I understand that I upset

very much.

So which one of you will be taking me?

No one's taking you. You're not going, Sheldon.

You two are even more selfish than Meemaw. I don't need to be grounded for

month. That sounds right.

Let me tell you the moon.

You mix a bag of these with a bag of these.

Heaven.

You just want me to buy two bags.

I just want you to be happy.

Fine.

And now I'm happy.

Veronica. Oh, hey.

Come here, I got something for you.

Ooh, is it candy?

No, but it is pretty sweet.

Georgie, what did you do?

Just open it.

This looks expensive.

It was. Check out the price tag.

A hundred dollars?

And that's without tax.

I can't accept this.

But I bought it for you. Well, you shouldn't have.

I don't get you.

I went out of my way to buy you something nice and you don't even want

Georgie, it's too much.

You're not going to impress me by throwing money around.

You sure?

Immaterial girl? Madonna loves it.

The world had stopped making sense.

A grown -up had lied to me.

My meemaw and I were at odds.

I was in trouble with my parents.

I had to find a way to restore balance.

I'm leaving.

Okay, bye.

Before I go, I need to give this to you.

You're interrupting television.

What? I should be back later tonight, but in case I'm not, this envelope

contains my whereabouts.

Do not open it unless you absolutely have to.

Is that it?

Yes. Okay, bye.

I knew you were going to open this the moment I left.

Slow you down. I've shrouded my destination in code.

Hello. Am I correct that the bus to Dallas has to stop in Rusk?

Yep. I'd like to buy one ticket, please.

You need an adult to buy it.

Oh, I didn't know.

That's the rules.

I'm just trying to visit my friend in the hospital.

Not the regular kind of hospital, a psychiatric hospital.

He's actually a brilliant scientist in the field of theoretical physics.

Dr. John Sturgis. You may have heard of him. Anyway, he's a great guy.

We're almost the same height.

And then he and my Meemaw became a romantic item. Not that there haven't

bumps in the road. I actually helped them by writing up a relationship

agreement. I love drawing up contracts.

But I don't love drawing.

Interesting. Anyway, he doesn't drive. Maybe one day he'll take a bus and

get to meet him.

Anyway, even though I'm clearly her favorite grandchild, she swatted my

It didn't hurt that much physically, but emotionally it stung like the dickens.

There you go. One ticket to Dallas with a stop in Rusk.

But that's against the rules. I'm an adult. I bought it.

Ooh, a loophole. Thank you.

I'd tell you all about the etymology of the word loophole, but I have a bus to

catch.

Tarzan, I thought you were dead.

I'm home.

Hey. Hey, baby.

Where's Sheldon? I don't know. He left.

He left? Where'd he go?

He wouldn't tell me, but he wrote it in this weird letter.

He leave?

An hour ago. An hour?

I told him I could go.

Anyone sitting here?

No.

Aren't you a little young to be traveling alone?

Yes, but I'm quite a capable traveler.

I've memorized the entire bus schedule for the state of Texas. Ask me anything.

No thanks.

Okay. But if at any point you'd like to know what time the bus from Waco arrives

in Houston, ask away.

4 .15, except on Fridays when they make a local stop in Huntsville.

I wonder if this seat will empty.

See you tomorrow.

Oh, 4G.

Where do you get mad?

This only cost me ten cents.

I saw you smile.

Go away, Georgie.

You can eat it or wear it. It's up to you.

Dots and dashes.

Maybe it's Morse code.

Where is it?

We think this is Morse code. What does it say?

Gee, I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? You were in the army.

Yeah, so?

Can't do a push -up either.

Well, that's a separate problem.

Okay, so how do we read it?

I'd say ask Sheldon, but he laughed after I clearly said not to.

There must be a book on Morse code in here somewhere.

Okay, where do we look?

I don't know. I know how to use the card catalog.

Go, go!

You're just useless, aren't you?

Did you have tuna for lunch, or do you just smell like that all the time?

What? Did you have tuna for lunch, or do you still... I heard it.

I'm just wondering who raised you.

My mother and father. And I suppose my Meemaw.

Well, they don't seem like they're doing a great job.

Tell me about it.

It's been quite the week.

I'm sure I regret this, but how so?

Before I tell you the story, how much do you know about the mathematics of

robotic communication?

That's okay. I'll put it into terms a bus lady can understand.

There's a wide range of protocols used for interrobotics.

Dot, dot, dot.

S. Got it.

Dot. E. All right. Another dot, dot, dot.

S again.

Okay. What do we have so far?

I am taking a bus.

Fun fact about buses.

Oh, come on!

So how old is this professor friend of yours?

Seventy -three and a half.

And why are you going to see him? Because everything made sense before he

away, and now no one's on my side.

So you think only a person in a mental hospital can understand you?

Correct. That's the first thing you said that sounds right.

Do you really think these facts are fine? Not now.

I've got it.

He's headed to rest.

He's going to the hospital to see John. I'll call the police.

Hurry! Is Johnny going to jail?

No.

And then they grounded me. Can you believe it?

Yes. But I didn't do anything wrong.

You did everything wrong. You were nothing but rude and ungrateful.

You really think so?

The only selfish person in that story is you.

There's a Star Trek episode called The Devil in the Dark where the miners

thought the hoarder was the monster, but actually the miners were the monsters

because they were killing a snake.

Are you saying it's like that?

Sure.

State troopers?

I wonder what they want.

It turns out they wanted me.

Fun fact, this was one of seven times I was brought home by law enforcement.

Once on the back of a horse.

They're coming.

A kind stranger on a bus helped me see how I hurt my family

and that I owed them the best apology I knew how to give.

I think you all understand why I wanted to show you this.

No.

It's an apology.

I was the miners, you were the hoarder.

How about just saying I'm sorry?

Wow, you're really not getting this.

Let's watch it again.

But the eggs lived.