Original subtitles

Slash-and-Burn Lane

The doctors says it's incurable? Yes

They all agree

One week at the most. A matter of days

He provided for the funeral?

Nothing And there'll be no state funeral

Perhaps a TV network will buy exclusive rights

If not, City Hall or the Misericordia?

Why not sell the painting by Conrado Roza?

A tree, a friend

We need to take good care of

A devoted friend As faithful as friendship

That we can cultivate

You know a tree is a breath of.

Sancho, go outside

Leave his highness Prince Alfredo in peace

Have you no shame, Sancho?

Where are your manners?

Farting in front of his royal high nes

What will your great-uncle thin

Come on!

Sancho!

Now! Do not be republican!

Afonso.

A devoted friend

As faithful as friendship

That we can cultivate

My love...

A tree, a friend

We need to take good care of

A devoted friend

As faithful as friendship

That we can cultivate

Look, Alfredo

These are royal trees

Nothing like the dump that is a republican forest.

We have thought it over, Alfredo

and'there IS a clear ontological difference

between a royal tree and a common weeping willow

Look carefully Look

The intent,the discipline, I the order.

The verticality, the rectitude

Each royal pine is so self-aware,

so aware of those around it

and withstands benevolent pressure to be the best of the best.

Aware of its royal status, Alfredo

each one of them, from their roots to the very top,

knows that the world will always be vigilant,

watching for the tiniest slip-up

which might refute its natural superiority

We know the demands of this status, don't we my boy?

we are what we are and the showcase ot what we are.

Papa...

You'd do well to take inspiration from these trees, Alfredo.

See how they grow

how they rise to the sky

tumescent with sap

quaking with the heat of the resin in those broad trunks,

which i pull with their arms, all the better to perform their duty.

So that life runs through them from bottom to top.

and emanates the oxygenated gift to which we avidly aspire

Until the day when, exhausted,

they fall so that we might give them a second life.

A tree,a friend

We need to take good care of

A devoted trend

As faithful as friendship that we can cultivate

You know a tree is a breath of beauty

Which protects nature and purifies our air

It gives us wood and so many wonders

Cork and resin, as well as orchard fruits

Let's make-a forest, come

Plant friends and a feast

So rich and modest, let.us sow

A tree,a friend

We need to take good care of

A devoted friend

As faithful as friendship that we can cultivate

A tree, a friend

We need to take good care of

A devoted frien a

As faithful as friendship

That we can cultivate

You know a tree belongs to everybody

It doesn't damage the environment or pollute its earth

Let's go, go, go to defend our life

A forgotten tree can sometimes help us

Yes,let's make a forest, come

Plant friends and a feast

So rich and modest, let us sow

A tree, a friend

We need to take good care ol

A devoted frien a

As faithful as friendship

That we can cultivate

SOME YEARS LATER

Charred

On the worst day of the year

and last day for more than 30 victims of fires blazing in the midlands.

It's the story of those who lost their lives

while fleeing or trying to save their house or business

There are many impressive images of yesterday's fires,

but one of the most devastating is this one.

Gigantic columns of smoke

Socialist scum

While everything burns we are impotent!

The fire brigade let it burn?

Come on, Eduardo. Do not abdicate

People are watching

Today,you should not smoke

Given the circumstances,really.

Curious idea.

Until yesterday, it was a splash of green

Only hours later, it was this

80% of Leiria's historic pine forest had burned down.

35,000 acres in all.

Lighting candles with the country in flames.

Planted in the 13th century

the pine forest was intended to prevent the advance of the dunes,

and protect the town of Leiria

It played a providential role in discoveries,

supplying wood to the shipyards

t had become a place of leisure

It will take over ten-years to'grow back..

Poor be as

it also endured the flames of hell

Dear parents,due to global warming

Sorry.

The risk of wildfires will increase

in Portugal and worldwide.

Thank goodness for the Paris Agreement!

You think anyone will respect the Paris Agreement?

What world do you live in mama?

The state is accused of mismanaging the land...

And you feel sorry for the chicken?

Locally it's known as the toy alpine forest

Shut up!

Sebastiao,

do us a favour...

Walk the Maria-Pias and take Carlota with you

Good evening.

Since yesterday the country is in the grip

of the biggest wave of wildfires since 2006.

Yesterday, 523 fires broke out.

Mama,

why do we name all our bitches Maria-Pia?

Because Maria-Pia is a bitch name!

Do not be Castilian, Sebastião.

ome on, don't bother your mother with your questions.

Carlota...

Maria-Pia!

If you don't mind.

ONE YEAR LATER

The Wedding of Negro Rosa.

So cute, those negro midgets in Maria da Gloria's zoo

Eduardo, times have changed

The Bridal Masquerade Please!

The other title is so outdated

Table, Carlota

Eat your porridge

would like your permission to

Quiet, Maria Pia

Let the prince speak

Noble parents

Such contemporary humour, Alfredo!

Mama, I want to be a fireman

To defend the royal forest Alfredo!

turn your back on Castille

What is this nonsense? Someone has to do it

I will hear no more of this, Alfredo

What has come over you

confusing the royal family and documentary cinema!

Very republican of you, Alfredo! Teresa, darling

Do not turn completely Antoinette

ee cool head and let us think

Alfredo,chief fireman won't be a chief

I'll start out like everyone else

Naturally. Ridiculous republican meritocracy!

we think this may be very royal gesture

Was not your cousin, the Duke of Lamego

honorary chief of Alcantara's firemen?

They nicknamed him "'Aside." Do you recall, Teresa?

Our cousin raced at top speed through the streets of Lisbon

Since the fire engine had no siren,

our cousin would shout "Stand aside! Stand aside!"

- So they'd let him through. - Eduardo we live in different times.

The royal forest comprises maritime pines and parasol pines.

Is the benevolence of our Alfredo

not why firemen are "generals of peace" ?

Soldier of peace,noble parents.

WILL-O'-THE-WISP

a musical fantasy by Joao Pedro Rodrigues

with

- Numbers! - One! Two! Three!

Survivor on upstairs floor. Recommended manoeuvre.

Go!

Go, go, go!

Let's go!

Close on his heels!

Open it up.

Up! Up!

No! It goes up! Now left!

Higher!

You've got it. C'mon!

Go!

Survivor on the ledge! Survivor out!

Throw!

Pick up the slack! - Jump!

Out!

Come on, too long

Too long to get out!

C'mon, go down!

My good lord Alfredo wants to be a fireman

Your royal highness wants to be a soldier of peace

Yes, ma'am, chief.

I was tempted by forest fire warden, too

But that's full-time. I want to be a volunteer.

You want to be a volunteer.

your royal highness my good lord Alfredo?

For one day

- To make the front pages - No, ma'am, chief.

O tilia!

Quit spying and go get Afonso.

Tell him he has a prince to train

Take a seat,good lord Alfredo

Yes, sir.

A fireman prince

See if you can stay at least until December

If we feature you lin this year's calendar

may be we'll make enough to fix the roof.

Come in

Ma'am, chief. - Come in!

Alfredo de Sao Benedito de Moga douro

Afonso

Afonso Collier.

Our Alfredo says he wants to be a fireman

Another jerk who thinks he's the Manneken Pis.

Putting out fires with his little hose!

Empties his bladder to be salvator mund?

not a chance, not a bit!

What again?

Art history

Another nutcase like you.

One studies sociology. The other, art history.

Where are the engineers?

See what you can make of him.

And get him clearing the flowerbeds out front.

he cant make a good fireman,

maybe he can be the brigade goat

Take the locker next to mine.

Thanks.

What the chief said about the calendar, is that true?

We do one every year.

This year, for our inspired photographer

we'll mime famous paintings

You study art history, right?

Let's test your knowledge

You have to name the artwork or painter

So, got it?

No.

Caravaggio, Fireman's Head.

Grand masters, not your thing?

Let's try something more basic

Go on, this one's a toss-up

Well?

I don't know.

The Fireman's Pump

By José Vilhena, ballpoint on paper napkin. No?

You cut classes?

Now another one, with more striking creative licence.

It's obvious

Picabia? No, stupid!

Francis Bacon Mr Fireman, Send Me A Dream

All right, one last chance

Back to the grandmasters

It couldn't get any easier

The Dwarf by Velazquez!

Not a single right answer. A disaster!

We have a major painting of midgets at home, by Conrado Roza.

But they're all black

Afonso is no midget

Go back to school, Bo Jo! - He's a prince!!!

My ass! He's a fireman.

The loser has to give his all to the fireman's guild

Absolutely.

Here he is in..

The Rape of Ganymede by Rubens

Let's go!

Move it!

simulation of a fire in an urban building

with casualty evacuation.

First responders, Afonso and Otilia.

Good lord Alfredo will be the princess in distress,

whom you will save from the flames

Ignition on the 2nd floor.

Evacuation of smoke inhalation casualty, our prince, on the 3rd floor.

Right turn!

Let's go!

There's nothing for you to do. In fact, don't do anything.

Lie down and hold still until we arrive

Dry ice upstairs will imitate the smoke

Don't get up until we get you downstairs

Or the exercise is void

You're here

Don't worry, usually it's fine

Ready?

Ignition!

Afonso,check all other floors

Chief, part of the simulator has collapsed

We can not proceed with ignition.

Access to 2nd floor blocked!

Oh hell! Oh hell!

Now it's combat against the flames!

Bring up fire engine ladder to evacuate the casualty

Oh hell!

Afonso, you beast

you didn't check the simulator?

O tilia,

can you make it out?

Negative, chief.

Bring up the damn ladder, fast!

Watch out the whole place might collapse.

Got a fright?

Play dead.

Well?

Did our prince realise

how good it is to see the fire brigade arrive?

Yes Now, you do it on me.

On the left, fascist.

- Forgot the leg - Sorry.

Well?

Less bad,

but a bit slow.

Go back over cardiac arrest?

Come on then.

Open the airways, evaluate breathing

chest compressions and ventilation

Try to be efficient without being clumsy

Want me to tell you a secret?

Your hands are cold

And my heart is hot

C'mon, little fireman

remove the clothing covering my chest

Mr Fireman,

there I was, enjoying my quiet little life

with my little heart pumping away

and this goes and happens

It's the first time everything's stopped

Mr Fireman, ignore the bra

I've been wearing all week

I'm very fastidious but with the price of water,

lighting and detergents

That's right, my little saint

Now put your hand between my nipples. Go on.

How soft those little royal hands are

Shoulders over hands

Yes

Compress me there, hard

One, two, three, four.

Ventilate me, you pig!

Ventilate all of me!

My little rascal, you gave your all

All right, one more.

Black on white

Sharpening me right now

Relieving

All the weight drained away

Black on white

Not as clear as I thought

Turned grey

Everything around me

And now?

My fine words got lost long ago

I no longer pay folks I sell myself to

If I'm worse I'm not there. I know why

Listening to No Love in SP

And I take my place with my talent

I no longer pay-the folks I sell myself to

Hit Ctrl-C Ctrl-V

Listening to No Love in SP

Stand aside!

If my sad groans could fly O dusky booby

They'd go a thousand miles an hour

Balibanda, libanda, it is Balibanda, O dusky booby

They'd go crashing into the chest, O dusky booby

Of who called me back now

Balibanda, libanda, it is Balibanda, O dusky booby

Come here, my dark so dark, O dusky booby

My sunburned little one

Balibanda, libanda, it is Balibanda, O dusky booby

Darker and firmer, O dusky booby

The firmer the better

Tapeworm.

Mangy sow.

Spear in Africa

Black arrow

White Russian

Black gold.

Balsa.

Holy wood

Pale face

Dark chocolate

Settler.

Rebel.

Slave driver.

Brachycephalic.

Imperialist.

Cannibal.

Scout in the bushes

Hottentot Venus

Black rook.

White king

Checkmate

You like it or not?

I'm a fan of small boobs

But pussies do nothing for me.

All that introverted flowering

the weight of palace gates..

You should be into it!

And there is no projection

With one guy keep going into another,

filling him until my dick invades..

inside with his dick projecting into infinity

And beyond

Our prince puts his hand on my little axe. Nasty!

Hands on the wheel!

Ah, ah, ah, my little axe! Ah, ah, ah, my little axe!

This little puppy,

empty symbol of nothing at all

think s he's a fireman but never read Hocquenghem

and believes revenge on his colonialist ancestors

comes from giving his ass to black kids

And you, my little poker, my little coal collier,

rootless native who dreams of being an academic,

to occupy a chair that always named him black,

and up there, determine what black is

while you dream of white butts

to feel you're out of slave quarters

knocking down the master's door.

Ah, ah, ah, my little axe! Ah, ah, ah, my little axe!

Who laid hands on you when you belong to me?

When you belong to me. I belong to you

Jump, my little axe, down the middle of the road..

It's important.

How can we defend the forest if it's not an object of desire?

It has to be intuitive and constantly present in you

You must see it in what you love most

Okay, let's recap

Tropical Garden.

Buca co Woods

I don't know.

Leiria pine forest

Sintra mountain?

Ma fra Estate

Edward VII Park

Benfica's eucalyptus forest

Forest of Lauris silva

Petrified forest

Sale of bagpipes.

Hello, mama?

No!

Papa is dead?

Of coronavirus?

How come, so suddenly?

What will you do?

I don't know.

What's expected of me, I guess

What does that mean?

I have no shadow anymore, Afonso

Now they'll be watching me.

As whom? As Alfredo?

As the fireman?

As putative king? -I don't know

I've no idea what I am

but it's me, the showcase of me

and of what I don't know

don't believe it

You'll play at being king

It's my duty, Afonso

It may be more stupid

but it's not so different from that of firemen.

And how can I avoid it?

Tell me. How?

Others define me, not me

Bullshit

They won't stop watching me

I'll be the new pretender or the pretender to nothing,

who takes himself for a pleb

or who doesn't want to be it

or who abdicates from his pretension.

Or the fag pretender or whatever

They won't let me be anything else.

remember the day my childhood ended

MB EIRO

It was after the first day of school

My mother was on the phone with my father,

recounting her conversation with the head teacher.

About me.

It was there.

Whatever they had told me about the family previously,

I realised that my " I "

was not the fruit of a direct relationship with others.

but a subject to be discussed in the third person.

A "he " about whom I could say nothing

So you hold your tongue?

Yes.

What about us?

I can't, Afonso. Because you can't

Sure

The sacrificial lamb goes to the slaughter in public,

so no one will be too unhappy.

May God's will be done

I'll be nearly nothing, Afonso

I'll be as little as possible

The empty symbol of nothing at all

who watches you whenever...

Sancho, leave the deceased

Come here.

Don't you understand?

I'm the sister-in-law

We even had to sell the painting of Negro Rosa.

The royal family decides

Chief, this is a foy al wish.

Royal, my ass!

Alfredo was one of us

Hell be buried as a fireman end of story.

Or would you like a horsedrawn hearse?

We take the body?

Wait. Chief..

Our Alfredo deserves a pieta

So few people

I was told he wanted a private ceremony.

More intimate, without public figures

Poor man...

With no wife or children.

He doesn't even have descendants

And his poor siblings - Poor them

They are both dead

Poor them

The girl went soon after her parents

All from Co vid

Prince Sebastiao

caught a disease in Africa

He worked there for Isabel dos Santos

He passed away before the birth of little Sancho

May God bless them

Your cousin is ready

Nobody minds if our cousin sings a song?

Sing whatever you want

Then the sister-in-law

With her husband's ashes still warm in the urn

And with a little boy. - So little

May God for give her

Frequented the Mour aria

And in many palaces there were

songs

and guitars

In olden times the nobility

Which dazzled in the bull rings

Frequented the Mour aria

And in many palaces there were songs

They say our prince gave all he had in his own lifetime

to institutions in the overseas territories.

I never saw him

My husband said

Yes

Maybe it wouldn't be any worse

With what we've got.now.

And the story I will tell you

Was told to me by a certain old lady

One day when I went to sing

In the salon of a gentleman

Near to the queen's palace

One day when I went to sing

In the salon of a gentie man

Near to the queen's palace

And in that gilded salon

Under its noble, serious aspect

For the singing of fado

A masked man was always present

A man of mystery

For the singing of fado

Am asked man was always present

A man of mystery

But one evening.

But one evening someone

said to him in a raised voice

" Masked man, consider that

"today nobody

"wears a mask in this room. "

" Masked man, consider that..

Sir, don't take this personally

but given that we're in a chapel, at awake

perhaps you could bare your head

The masked man bared his head

He was the King of Portugal

The President!

-Mister President! Afonso! Our Afonso!

Long live the President!

Long live Afonso!

Long live the President!

He was the King of Portugal

Royal lips kissed hands

And then...

And then we sang the phallus

THE END