All language subtitles for We Interrupt This Broadcast s01e09

It's the festive season, and for some
partygoers, RBT might stand for Really

Blasted Today, which is why Officer
Smythe is in Quakers Gulch administering

RBT's, which, in this case, stands for
Random Breath Test.

Evening there, sir.

Hello. Have you had anything to drink
tonight? Yeah, just had a couple of

drinks. You have? Alright, I'm going to
get you to breathe into this.

Sure.

Thank you.

Everything all right then?

Listen, my concern here is that your
blood alcohol reading right now is 0

.058008.

If you turn that upside down there, sir,
what does that say?

It says boobs. It says boobs, doesn't
it? It says boobs. That's a very rude

mate. A very rude BAC indeed, okay?

I'm going to need you to stay in the
car, sir.

Please, we interrupt this broadcast.

So for last year's Met Gala, I wore
Marilyn Monroe's dress.

It was an iconic piece of history and it
was really well received. It had

absolutely no negative feedback
whatsoever.

But my sisters are always trying to
outdo me.

Okay, so for the Met Gala this year, I'm
thinking of wearing this.

Okay. It's literally the suit that JFK
was shot dead in.

I can't.

That's a sexy piece of history.

Literally dead.

So I'm going to wear this fur dress, but
it is made from Tasmanian tiger fur,

which is cute.

It's like a wild woman.

Well, I'm going to be wearing another
hat. And this one is literally made out

the Mona Lisa, like the actual Mona
Lisa.

So the Lou has let me destroy it for
just one night. Amazing, right?

I love Leonardo DiCaprio's work. Wow.
And of course, Kenny, looking perfect as

always.

Hey, Kim, what are you going to wear?

Oh, I think I'm just going to wear my
Yeezy. Oh, Leah.

Okay, but you said it was definitely our
turn to be tasteless and controversial,

so what? You literally cannot share, can
you?

I am literally screaming.

Yeah, after we lost the challenge, I
knew my name would be on the chopping

tonight and I knew that my number one
threat, Bradley, would be out there

to get everyone to put my name down.

So I did what I had to do. I went
looking for a hidden immunity idol and

wouldn't believe it. I found this rock,
which I killed Bradley with.

And I think it's really improved my
game.

Sorry. Any other questions?

This next game is simple, but as usual,
deadly.

Get ready to play Hopscotch!

Uh, sorry, we already played Hopscotch
yesterday.

Oh. Yes. Okay, alright, well let's play
Handball!

Uh, no, we've done that.

Yeah, because Jess died.

Yeah, Jess died. Oh, yeah, she did die.
Yeah.

Okay. Let us play Marble!

Yeah, we played marbles. That was
literally the first game we played.

first game. Really? Yeah.

Oh. Hmm.

Stop it. Let's play whoever's tallest
wins.

Oh, yeah. That's a good one. No. No,
that's a good game, actually. No, it is.

That's a fun game.

Just when you thought it was over, Peter
Jackson unearthed another thousand

hours of mind -numbing Beatles footage.

The Beatles.

Get back again.

Featuring Lennon's legendary lyric,
Coming to life. I know how to fix the

Woo -hoo!

Get that?

Great. That's my contribution to the
soul.

You finish it. What can I say? The man's
a genius.

And including arguments over 50 years
old. Don't even get me started.

That's what I was doing.

Where's John?

Hiding in the toilet.

You're quite scurvy. I knew it.

Yoko was dragging this pond apart.

Get back again.

While there's still a few quid in, can I
have my drumstick back, please?

As relationship experts, we know all
about compatibility.

Matchmaking couples is about science.
It's about chemistry.

But mostly, it's about having good
instincts.

Simply put, we know when things belong
together, which is why we always begin

every season with a quick word
association exercise.

Bacon and... Goblins.

Sauce and... Tissues. Fish and... Mount
Kosciuszko.

OK, we're ready. Let's make some
matches.

I'm thinking 25 -year -old party boy
and...

Woman in her late 30s desperate for
babies.

Nailed it. Here is to a great season.

Chin chin.

Cheerio.

Yeah, so this is my dad. He passed away
last year and I'm finally ready to part

with some of his stuff.

Lovely, lovely.

Now, the thing I love most of all about
antiques, above anything else, is just

what they can say about the person who
owned them.

Now, in this case, in your father's
case, I can tell from these small stains

here that he had a love of gardening.

Yeah, he...

Yes, I can see he was interested in DIY
and barracked for the Carlton Football

Club. Wow, that's true.

I believe he was quite rude to waiters
in restaurants and the type of neighbour

that would borrow something and just not
return it.

Often abusing young volunteer referees
at children's soccer games. I can't

believe what I'm hearing.

A loud talker, quite ignorant, noisy,
smelly. You don't know how could you

possibly... Never really wiped his bum
properly. Okay, well, you don't know

you're talking about. I tell you, it's
worth $30 ,000.

You, sir, are a genius.

That's good.

Well, here we are.

Welcome back to the block finale.

Now, Karen and Jim, we all got hit by
the old runaway inflation and

crippling supply chains and the whole
construction industry was basically

rooted. So with the market in the middle
of the old free fall and the house

unfinished, that put you, Jim, in a bit
of a...

sell one of your own kidneys on the
black market type of situations, didn't

mate? Yep, that's right.

But after the block's first ever kidney
sale, your team was back on track.

And the back alley surgery revealed a
previously undiagnosed illness for you,

didn't it? Yeah.

Then experimental treatments were
expensive.

Turnout based with eye -watering deaths
up to $2 .5 million.

as well as now being the proud owners of
three functioning kidneys.

The winners of this year's title of
Block Champions are...

Karen and Jim.

Congratulations. We hope you enjoyed
your time.

He doesn't look very good. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Do you want to have a water? Thank

you so much.

at the airport, where drinking a beer at
8am is acceptable for some reason.

It's Good Friday, but for one passenger,
it's a Bad Friday.

No, he's clean.

Can't find anything on him.

Alright, so you're free to go. Sorry for
the inconvenience.

Hang on.

Great Easter bonnet, champ.

Good on you, mate. Have a good Easter.
Cheers.

Well, this is a little embarrassing, but
I have...

No idea what this item is worth. I mean,
where was the picture made? Who was the

artist? What was the year? Without any
of these, it's impossible to put a

numerical value to the piece.

It's Leonardo da Vinci.

This is a very, very famous painter.
Well, this Leonardo del Winky, of whom

speak, I mean, perhaps if he were dead,
the price would appreciate, as sometimes

happens with art, but...

He is dead. He's long dead. He's
extremely dead. Sorry, has this guy got

manager or something I can talk to? What
I can say is this.

It is a very nice painting.

I mean, it's a little dark. She's not
really smiling properly, but I would say

you could be confident of $20.

$20?

For the Mona friggin' Lisa?

Yes, and I can see that you're thrilled.

Okay, next.

Now, what's this over here?

Dogs playing poker.

Well, that could be worth millions of
dollars.

When the medical system fails patients,
the patients turn to Dr. Seuss.

Oh, Dr. Seuss. What are you doing at
this hour? What are you doing with that

glower? I know I shouldn't be here. I
just, I can't figure out what's wrong

him.

He has not woken and he has not stirred.

He is not a fish and he's not a bird.

No, he's not.

He is not an egg and he's not a tree.

He looks just like you and me. Yeah,
Doctor, first listen. I know he's not an

egg or a tree, right? I'm just trying to
do my job and figure out what's wrong

with him.

Tell me something, Dr. Josie.

Have you ever heard of the jumping
grossie?

It's a kind of toxic bug.

You get it from a spotted glug.

Dr. Josie?

She's not here.

She's not there.

I cannot find her anywhere.

Chefs, you've shown us what you can do.

But tonight, one of you has to go home.

Could the time be up for you, Murray?

Or you, Buzzsaw?

Murray, duck was a risk.

But you knocked it out of the park,
mate.

Well done.

Now, Buzzsaw.

Yeah, what?

What do you call this?

Great possum.

Okay.

We haven't been able to test it.

But just on presentation alone, it looks
absolutely wonderful and very

moist. Great plaiting. Yeah, the possum
was really the hero.

Murray.

I'm sorry, but your journey is over.

Well done, mate.

Gardening can be a great activity for
the whole family. Just ask Graham here.

G'day, Costa.

Yeah, a year ago, my wife and I didn't
know our roses from our rhododendrons.

Didn't we, Judy?

Not a green thumb between us, but we
watch your show every week for a year

we have copied the lot.

Beautiful, beautiful family, beautiful
kids, just sublime. The whole scene is a

knockout.

And they've even attracted some local
birds.

Squawk boys!

Good evening, ladies.

This week, we had the chance to take
Luke to your hometowns.

and introduce him to your nearest and
dearest.

Ladies, there are five of you remaining
on this journey.

Luke only has four.

So, what was that last bit?

He has four.

Did he say Luke's going to start a fire?

No, I think it's Luke's going to fly a
kite. No, Luke doesn't go out at night

because his pants are too tight.

Stand by.

Who left the hospital whisperious?

Hey, everyone. Wolf Target here with my
ungrateful son,

Banjo, with another survival video for
you. But let's get stuck into Wolf Mail.

Wolf Mail.

I've got a...

Comment here from DrillOps83, who says,
is it true that if you run out of water,

you can drink your own urine?

Yes, that is absolutely true. It's
obviously not an ideal situation, but if

things are dire... Yeah, so I've got the
fresh urine here.

Oh, and it doesn't taste good, to be
honest. I'll be honest with you, it

bad. So I've bought some stuff that make
it more palatable. I've got some sugar

syrup and some grenadine.

Lime juice and white rum. So, yeah, even
some maraschino cherries. So, yeah,

we'll hopefully make this urine taste a
bit better than what it does.

So there you have it, a Cosmopicitin.

How's it taste?

Oh, it tastes all right, actually.

Oh, my son's filming me too. He's
getting involved.

I'm the proudest dad in the world. I'm
on Bloody Cloud 9.

And on TikTok.

Oh, I've gone viral.

Please,

everyone, like and subscribe.

And no more downvotes, please. I'm
begging you.

Woof. Target.

the Royal Prince Albert, visiting
English doctor, Dr.

Doctor, is doing doctor -y things.

OK, patient is losing consciousness.
We're going to need a doctor in room

Stad. Hang in there, OK?

All right, I'm here. Give me an update.
Oh, sorry, who are you?

Dr. Joanne Doctor.

I'm a doctor -doctor on loan from the
doctor hospital in London.

Right, well, the patient... I'm so
sorry, it says here that the patient is

accountant. Yep. I can't help you.

Sorry, are you the doctor?

As I said before, a doctor doctor.

I'm Doctor Doctor, a doctor doctor, on
loan from the Doctor Hospital in London.

My job is to look after the doctors, and
if he's not a doctor, then I can't be

his doctor. I don't know how to be any
clearer with you.

I'm a doctor.

Real doctor or a fake academic doctor?

That's what I thought.

Welcome to Daybreak and good morning to
you wherever you are around Australia.

Tell you where I was this morning,
fairly early doors, getting in a few

kilometres down at the lovely Bayside
Park was just beautiful.

Great news. Dr Kumar will be in after
the news with the latest medical tips.

Hopefully she can give me a hand with
these pins because they're a little bit

stiff and sore. Okay. And to politics
later on, we have the Shadow Treasurer.

joining us to discuss all things...
Well, let me tell you, a run like that

easy for someone, anyone of my vintage,
but I think you'll agree that it was all

for a very good cause.

Are you just going to keep doing this
until I let you talk about your charity

marathon? I wasn't even going to mention
it, but... Take it away. Off you go.

Here we go.

Stingy penis syndrome is no laughing
matter, and that's why the organisers of

the Flesh Ribbon Foundation got in touch
with me to be an ambassador for their

upcoming Maradong.

event. Stingy penis. Do you know a lot
about that, Trent?

You know a bit about stingy penis
syndrome?

Finish. You're okay telling everyone
watching this morning that you have a

stingy penis.

You pay them. You do the crime. You do
the time.

Holidays sure are fun.

But did you ever forget to get everyone
back home gifts?

Why not get them from your holiday
rental?

It's quick, easy, and best of all, free.

I'm going to take this from my mum.

She can put it up in her bathroom next
to the toilet, like, welcome aboard.

She loves toilet humour.

A remote for my Uncle George, because
look at him, a tech nerd.

Oh, my granny has always wanted a pet,
so that'll be good for her. Oh.

One thing to remember, it's always nice
to leave a little something for your

host to let them know you've enjoyed
your time here.

Oh,

I've got to get this for my niece. She's
annoying, but...

Hot deals!

Hot deals, man.

It's an absolute pleasure to be with you
here today.

To describe what is truly a hot bargain,
mate. Yeah, man, you've got to get in

quick because this one's going to be
going out the door, brother.

It's not one, but it is two cool items
in one, actually.

It is a full steering wheel with club
lock.

This one we need to move super quick
smart due to supply chain issues on our

side. But today it can be yours for a
song of 20 bucks.

Yeah, also, totally unrelated.

We're also selling a 98 lime green
Commodore with no steering wheel or

It looks sick and it runs all right, eh?

$100 for that one. Yeah, or we'll trade
yous for any kind of snake.

Thank you.

While others relax, the lifeguards have
to be ready to go at a moment's notice.

Bad situation developing, Nugget.

What is it, Chopper?

Oh, no, let's go, go, go!

Man, man, man, please!

Please don't shake sand! It's going to
get in someone's eyes!

I see a bit of sand in my eyes.

Calm down! You're in shock!

Nugget, I need something... flush out
his eyes. But there's nothing on hand. I

don't have any liquid.

Try that esky.

Okay,

there's a bottle of water or there's a
can of lemon fizzy drink. There's no

to pick one, man.

What did you do?

Pour that lemon fizzy drink directly
into his eyes. No, do not pour that

fizzy drink directly into my eyes.

Another cross is averted by the beach
rescue team.

All right, Sam.

All right.

The Beatles get back again.

Good news, lads.

I've written a new song about an
airplane in the sky.

Showcasing Ringo's role in the world's
greatest band.

You're the underwater guy.

Every band needs an underwater guy.

Octopus's Garden, Yellow Submarine,
underwater songs.

Ringo, I've got your contract. It says
it here. You agreed to sing underwater

songs only.

Do I have to play with these bullets
instead of drumsticks?

It's in your contract, Ringo. Let's go.

Okay. Fish one, fish two, fish three.

Get back again while there's still some
coin to be made out of it.

G'day, Wolf Target here with another
survival vid with my son Banjo.

Today we're just trying to start a fire.

Why don't you just use a lighter?

Well, I don't have a lighter.

Doing things the old -fashioned way.

Why don't you...

Why do you have that?

I don't know. Mum's boyfriend gave it to
me.

You don't need to specify gender when
you say friend. It's just mum's friend.

It doesn't matter that he's a guy. He's
just a friend.

This tips.

Okay, so the best way to light a fire is
to actually just use a lighter.

You get a lighter in there. It makes
things a lot easier. You don't have to

stuff around with the grinding of the
wood and everything.

Total fire ban day, idiot. That's your
third warning.

Please, everyone, like and subscribe.

Wolf target.

You can't ask that. Where viewers ask
provocative questions to Australians

underrepresented groups, but all the
good ones have been done.

Gullible people.

You're here because you self -identify
as...

Gullible people, yeah? Guilty as
charged.

We are both gullible.

Here comes your first question.

Gullible people can't remember their
internet banking passwords.

I find that a bit offensive. I remember
my password fine.

It's a password.

Your password is?

Password. Well, here comes another
question.

Oh,

no, no, no. This is serious. Can we
stop? There's a Nigerian prince who

help. No, he says he needs my bank
account details immediately.

Say hi to me. I hope he gets better
soon.

No, I have forgotten my password,
though.

Yeah, right. Try password.

People of Earth.

I am the supervillain, Dr.

Armageddon.

If you are watching this, then I am
dead.

Either the establishment finally found
my ideas too threatening and hired an

elite team of the Satans to take me out,
or I slipped getting out of the bath

because my non -stick bath mat never
arrived.

Thanks a lot, tourism.

Either way, I have one final demand for
the people of Earth. From beyond the

grave, you are to go to my island
fortress.

Inside my fortress is a little computer
room.

Open my computer and find a folder
labeled Just...

documents on the desktop.

Do not look inside the folder named just
documents, people of earth. Simply

delete the folder and also throw out a
box in my garage labeled fishing

magazines. They are merely magazines
about fishing, but do not open the box.

Welcome to Millionaire Hot Seat. Let's
meet the contestants competing for some

big bucks tonight.

Kathleen Donaldson has poor temperature
regulation and thinks this icy cold

studio is boiling hot.

Wow.

Flames on it.

Kristen Rogers hates being called
Kristen because her confusing name is

It's not that hard.

Also competing for a million bucks is
Roberta Hitler.

No relation.

Kevin Dixon once ate two meat pies for a
day and believes that's interesting.

And finally, this is Michael Jones.
Apart from being a keen trivia buff,

Jones works as a spy for ASIO. So we
probably should have pixelated his face

well. Good luck with your next
assignment, Michael.

Hey, Wolf Target here with another
survival vid. As I always say in the

wilderness, you need to survive with
three things. Wit, grit and your

kit. So I've got my bag here. Let's
itemise.

OK, Banjo, I told you to grab the bag
from near the door.

That was the bag near the door.

I have got my wife's paint and sip bag
here.

But, you know, that's actually better
because a survivalist knows how to

improvise. So let's take a look at what
we can use here to survive.

Paints.

We've got... Oh, here we go. Bottle of
wine.

Antiseptic. Alcohol.

Another bottle of wine.

Spider bite.

Packet of... I don't

know why you should have these.

I know, because I've had a vasectomy.

Please, everyone, like and subscribe.

And no more downvotes, please.

Wolf target.

All

right.

We've been at it back and forth a couple
of hours now. I've just got one

question left.

Looser says what?

Huh?

Looser says what?

I'm sorry.

What?

There you have it. We've got you, mate.

Dead set loser.

Now, hang on just a second. A loser says
what? And you, mate, just said what?

No, man, I didn't mean to say what. Oh,
you just said it again. Double loser.

She just said what?

How strange life is for you mortals.

Yesterday you were a humble
schoolteacher, Jenny.

And today you're joining me in the
struggle to save the Nine Realms.

Come. The Tesseract is the only way to
rebuild the Bifrost.

Sorry, that sounds really good and
everything, but you're just saying all

words like... But I don't understand.
It's like the Tesseract and everything.

Tesseract. You're saying it like I'm
meant to know it already, but I don't

the context.

Well, you've seen Thor 3, haven't you?

Yeah, I saw it, and it was really funny.
It was great, yeah.

Did you save for the post -credits
scene?

No, I just left after the movie like a
normal person. I mean, there was no

signs. Was it important?

I don't know. Was it important?

Important? Yeah. Every scene is another
piece of the puzzle.

How can you expect to enjoy yourself if
you haven't done your homework?

Okay, that seems like unfailing. Have
you even seen the Avengers?

I've seen two Avengers.

Do you even know who I am? Fabio.

No, but thank you.

We're best friends.

Hi, I'm Professor Blake Calla, and
welcome to The Mysteries of Space.

Now, space is really, really big.

So big, in fact, it's bigger than some
of the biggest animals, including

elephants and even a dog.

Here's a photo I took in my backyard.

And just look at all that space.

So where does it go during the day?

This has always puzzled me.

Hello, everyone.

Julie Phillips, where does space go
during the day?

Very good question. Space actually
doesn't go anywhere during the day. It's

actually just the light hitting the
atmosphere which changes its colour to

Unfortunately, even Professor Phillips,
one of our greatest scientific minds,

has no idea where space goes during the
day. No, I answered the question. Some

mysteries, it seems, must at least for
now remain mysteries.

I answered the question.

Join us after the break when I ask...
You know I answered.

Why do I have to go to the bathroom?

This

season we

have recruited a new expert and he is as
passionate about this experiment as we

are.

I have conducted a great many
experiments.

And I believe that Sandara and James'
relationship should be tested by

them within a pool of acid by which we
may extract their fluids. I was more

thinking like a horse riding date.

If you are interested in the effects of
equine exposure on relationships...

Might I suggest we inject their eyes
with a serum harvested from a horse's

sacs? Dr Armageddon, I like your
thinking, but our experiment is more

cheeseboards and massage oils and less
horse serums and bile sacs.

What about a nice trip to the
countryside?

Or get away in the mountains. It's cold.
It's romantic. You need someone to

snuggle up with. That's great. That is
exactly why I love this experiment.

And then we drug them and put them
inside the large hadron collider at the

facility by which we may dissect their
bodies on a subatomic level.

Gorgeous. Love it. Wonderful.

Team Dr. A.

Thank you.

The Beatles get back again, featuring
more footage of Paul making it all about

him. Once again.

Now, has anyone written any new songs? I
have.

Anyone? I've written dozens.

Well, if no one's written any new songs,
I guess I'll keep working on my one.

Bear witness to what inspired his
musical genius.

Afternoon, lads. Yoko and me have
decided to start wearing the same

Literally.

What do you reckon?

That's brilliant. That's so inspiring.
You've given me an idea for a song.

Oh, silly Mr.

Fumble had a giant pair of trousers.
That's bloody brilliant, Paul. It's a

metaphor for the end of the Vietnam War.
We've done it again.

Oh, silly Mr.

Fumble had a giant pair of trousers. A
giant pair of trousers. Why are they so

big? Silly Mr.

Fumble had a giant pair of trousers.
Well, there's one pair of trousers, but

there's two pairs of legs. Get back
again.

The ultimate documentary on that band
your dad liked.

Well, girls, I'm very excited to see the
science project you've got for us

today. No, sir, we couldn't in good
conscience do the presentation on the

we were given.

Why not?

It's just ants, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
And turns out ants are super probo.

Really? I thought you would have loved
ants. I mean, they're led by a queen,

know? It's like, um, yes, girl boy.

Okay, first of all, that's our word. You
can't use it. And secondly, yeah, when

we first heard that they were led by a
woman with a big butt who, like, sits

around all day getting looked after, we
were like, slay. Slay. But then we found

out that ants live in a colony, which is
like, mm, no thank you. And then also

we found out that, like, most of the
female workers are unpaid, which is

just can't leave them.

Yeah. It's like maybe a flex, but it's
not a mood. Mm -mm. Not a mood. It's not

even a vibe. Mm -mm. You feeling?

Did you at least identify the species of
ant I gave you? Okay.

We forgot to feed them all and they
died.

Rip that.

Rip that.

G'day, bargain hunters.

Bevan here.

Now, I have been having a field day at
the auction house like a pig in the

The winner, though...

is this vintage wine.

Now, I'm pretty sure I can get a
collector to pay at least double what I

and that is something to drink to.

Okay, cheers.

Have a good day, hunters, and I'll see
you next time.

See ya.

And cut.

Okay.

Well, I'm going to go home now.

Are you guys going to the pub at all?

evening approaches, so Banjo and I are
going to weave some of this spin effect

here into a comfortable two -man bed.

Yuck. There's nothing yuck about sharing
a bed with your old man.

Yuck. I'm sleeping in the Nissan Cube.

What are you talking about, mate?
There's no Nissan Cube here. We're out

wilderness.

Why are you wrecking this, Banjo? Like,
do you want your 50 bucks or not?

Please, everyone, like and subscribe.

And no more downvotes, please. I'm
begging you.

Oof, target.

Woo! Stop touching.

Hi, I'm Professor Blake Carlyle, and
welcome to The Mysteries of Space.

One of the fundamental forces of the
universe is magnetism. But how do

work? Some kind of glue?

Velcro?

Or is it a trick everyone's playing on
me, like the time they told me that a

lives in the television?

Magnets only attract ferromagnetic
material, like this.

Oh!

Interesting. Hmm?

It startled me.

Of course.

That was spooky.

It's okay, just breathe.

Of course, magnets don't work on any
other metal.

Let's give it a try.

Simply won't work.

I've actually done it. Wow.

That's not how magnetism works. He's not
done it.

That's just him stabbing the wire with
his magnet. That's not how it works. The

magnet powers have essentially passed on
to me, making me a big magneto from an

X -Man.

Join me later as I put on metal boots
and fly off the building.

That actually sounds like a really good
idea.