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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:06,940 Tonight, celebrities are pushed to their physical and psychological limit by a 2 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:11,220 very shouty Englishman. This is FAS Australia. 3 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,300 Congratulations cadets! 4 00:00:17,540 --> 00:00:19,600 You have made it to the final round. 5 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:26,860 This next challenge is designed to push you to your limits, both mentally and 6 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:27,860 physically. 7 00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:31,380 Oh, my God. 8 00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:37,880 You have 20 minutes to assemble this modular Swedish furniture or you will be 9 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,560 eliminated. Can't you just tase us instead? 10 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:49,220 All right, hurry up, you grubs. This won't fit. Why won't it fit? 11 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:50,460 Who took my allergy? 12 00:00:53,230 --> 00:00:54,230 Don't make any sense. 13 00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:55,470 Three minutes left. 14 00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:56,610 We need more time. 15 00:00:56,870 --> 00:00:57,829 We don't have time. 16 00:00:57,830 --> 00:01:01,090 We'll let this done and delivered before my wife gets home. 17 00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:03,150 What? What did you say? 18 00:01:04,430 --> 00:01:06,990 I said get moving, you maggots. 19 00:01:09,530 --> 00:01:12,290 Rudy, we interrupt this board talk. 20 00:01:33,740 --> 00:01:38,780 People say being a politician and being in politics changes you, but I'm here to 21 00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:42,300 say that I'm ready for love. Hi, I'm Samantha. 22 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,280 Hello, Samantha. 23 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,680 Duncan Cobby, Member of Parliament. 24 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,640 So, Samantha, do you take Duncan to be your husband? 25 00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:54,660 I do. 26 00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:59,220 And Duncan, do you take Samantha to be your wife? 27 00:02:03,050 --> 00:02:08,470 Listen, it is an important issue that is currently in front of a parliamentary 28 00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:14,310 committee and as a result we'll be keeping our powder dry and not speaking 29 00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:15,269 that today. 30 00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:16,270 So next question. 31 00:02:16,430 --> 00:02:21,150 Well there's only one question really and that's do you take Samantha to be 32 00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:25,110 wife? Well, let me just say this. 33 00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:31,490 This is an important matter for our party and for all Australians. 34 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,580 And I'd rather give you a strong answer at the appropriate time. 35 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,300 It's just, like, I do. 36 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,360 Well, I'll take that as a comment and next question. 37 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,360 Thanks. 38 00:02:55,470 --> 00:02:59,090 He's on the move. He has left the pub. I repeat, he has left the pub. All right, 39 00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:02,530 have we hacked his phone yet? Yes, Chief, he appears to be texting his ex. 40 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:06,270 boy, this puppy is hammered. All right, I'm going to need surveillance on every 41 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:10,590 karaoke bar, tattoo parlour, 24 -hour convenience store within a 100 -metre 42 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:11,590 radius. 43 00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:13,150 Hunting people is hard. 44 00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,170 Hunting drunk people is impossible. 45 00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:19,430 To catch a munted, you've got to get inside the mind of a munted. 46 00:03:19,810 --> 00:03:20,810 Excuse me. 47 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,220 Let's catch this big dog. 48 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,300 What are you guys doing? 49 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,920 No credit card transactions. 50 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,440 Steve, it's completely dark. 51 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,360 Yeah, that's because he's trying to pay with his library card. Wait, 52 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:47,940 he's just spent $600 on his Amazon app. This is a drunken purchase of a bass 53 00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:51,540 guitar. It's meaningless. He's never going to learn it. Come on, people. This 54 00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:52,459 just noise. 55 00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:54,380 Ignore it. I've got him. I've got him. I've got him. 56 00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:55,580 He stopped moving. 57 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:57,559 What's he doing? 58 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:58,760 I think he's asleep 59 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,460 We're pretty big travellers, eh, babe? Yeah, I mean, babe, pretty big 60 00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:27,040 travellers. Yeah, we're, like, real prepared for anything life throws at us, 61 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,160 know? But, like, obviously, some countries are better than others. 62 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,780 Carissa and Sean, you were the last team to arrive by several hours. 63 00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:43,320 But I'm happy to say that you're not getting eliminated, as Phil had a heart 64 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:44,720 attack. Oh, brutal. 65 00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:48,400 Your next destination is Switzerland. 66 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:53,300 I was thinking, like, we'd go back to Bali. Yeah, I reckon Bali, eh? 67 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:57,240 It's cheap as. It's cheap as. And you've been cleared of all charges. Oh, I've 68 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,200 been cleared of the charges. So, actually, no, I can't officially go 69 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,400 would not have entered that DJ booth if we didn't think it was David Guetta. We 70 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,020 thought it was David Guetta. Like, you don't know who David Guetta is. No one 71 00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:09,920 knows. And, like, the 50 -cent beers. We drank heat. And you had that cocktail 72 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,320 with the blues. Because that's cultural. 73 00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:12,519 You have to drink that after that. 74 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,720 This is the amazing race. Yeah, they're amazing. 75 00:05:14,950 --> 00:05:18,690 Amazing. They are an amazing race, the Barleys. The Barleys, yeah, they're so 76 00:05:18,690 --> 00:05:20,650 good. They're so friendly. So nurturing, spiritual. 77 00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:23,930 Welcoming. 50 cent meals. 50 cent meals. 78 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:28,250 Massage. Massage. And it was just a massage, babe. 79 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,950 This is a TV show. It can't go back to the same spot. 80 00:05:32,590 --> 00:05:36,030 Alright, I hear you, dude. Like, what if we go to the Goldie? 81 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:48,340 As the cops will tell you, if you drink and drive, you're a bloody idiot. 82 00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:52,200 Mind you, it's not like the cops are all geniuses. 83 00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:56,880 No! Steady on, Hot Wheels. 84 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,420 Could you hold this while I blow into this? 85 00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:03,980 Sing the song. 86 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,460 Happy birthday to you. 87 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,540 Happy birthday to you. 88 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:12,260 Happy birthday, dear. 89 00:06:13,630 --> 00:06:14,970 Sergeant. Sergeant. 90 00:06:15,690 --> 00:06:17,630 Happy birthday to you. 91 00:06:18,650 --> 00:06:20,370 Hooray! Hooray! 92 00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:25,170 Lovely. 93 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:31,670 Well, everyone at the station forgot, so you've... That was really nice. Thank 94 00:06:31,670 --> 00:06:34,110 you very much. You can move on. Looks like good cake. 95 00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:36,510 Yeah. Bye now. 96 00:06:37,410 --> 00:06:38,530 Goodbye, Constable. 97 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:41,770 Coming soon. 98 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:47,080 The next electrifying chapter in the never -ending Underbelly franchise. 99 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:53,600 The shocking true story of Australia's most notorious bikey gang. 100 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,180 Underbelly Delivery Wars. 101 00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:58,100 Delivered it on time, did you? 102 00:06:58,340 --> 00:07:04,280 Yeah. Well, that is just... In 103 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:08,780 a world where reputation is key. 104 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,660 I'm the guy with the 4 .8 star rating, babe. 105 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,160 This is who I am. 106 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,760 Jake. That says Jake. 107 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,100 I don't know how to change it. 108 00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:23,520 A gang who live by a code of conduct. 109 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,700 You pick up the meal, you wait outside the shop for 10 minutes, then you drive 110 00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:30,560 around in circles. You go backwards if you have to. You go backwards, exactly. 111 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:35,620 Do you understand me? Kurt, I'll go a weirdly long way. And shut down their 112 00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:36,920 rival's customer. 113 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,740 Now repeat after me. I will never order from Grub Run ever again. 114 00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:41,950 I will never order from Grub Run ever again. 115 00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:48,170 Five -star drama from the people that keep on making the same damn song. 116 00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:50,570 Tonight, they'll be eating my bitch. 117 00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:00,070 Underbelly Delivery War. 118 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:04,310 Coming soon, but probably later than expected. 119 00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:13,920 Tell us, why did you decide to cook this risotto? 120 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:21,300 This dish was actually a tribute to my great -aunt Gretchen, who sadly died 121 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,300 year. 122 00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:23,780 Oh. 123 00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:29,360 It's got a woolly mouthfeel. 124 00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:34,860 I'm definitely very aware of the width of my throat right now. 125 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:38,179 It's a tasteful and tasty homage. 126 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,280 Your great aunt would be really proud. 127 00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,760 How did she die? 128 00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:46,140 She actually choked on undercooked asparagus. 129 00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:52,260 Sorry, 130 00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,040 that's triggering. 131 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,020 That's what happened. 132 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,320 Congratulations. 133 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:06,240 You're through to the final. 134 00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,010 I've got butterflies in my stomach. 135 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:40,370 I'm feeling nervous, but also really excited to see her. 136 00:09:40,970 --> 00:09:42,010 And then I see her. 137 00:09:42,590 --> 00:09:43,590 My new wife. 138 00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,030 And my current wife. 139 00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,310 Not happy, Craig. 140 00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:56,890 Can we talk about this at home? No, we will talk about this now. 141 00:09:57,350 --> 00:10:02,370 Listen to me. I forgave you. The farmer wants a wife. We are not doing this 142 00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:09,140 again. Come on. And now from the archives, it's Play School, 1958. 143 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:14,080 Oh, hello children, and welcome to Play School. 144 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:17,120 Today, we're talking about car safety. 145 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:22,120 When you're an adult, like Bert and I, you don't need to wear a seatbelt. 146 00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:27,380 They're mainly for beatniks and foreigners, but children must be 147 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,200 Off you pop, Peggy. 148 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:35,560 Simply ask your mummy and daddy to strap you to the front bumper. 149 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:43,160 That way, you'll have a better view of any cows or horses that you might see 150 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:44,160 along the way. 151 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,720 There's one there. 152 00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,220 Hi. 153 00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:55,220 Oh dear, the nuclear siren. Children, when you hear that noise, it means the 154 00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:58,240 Ruskies are attacking and it's time to duck for cover. 155 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,180 There we go. We're safe from the hydrogen bomb now. 156 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:05,780 Goodbye, children. 157 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,600 Goodbye. 158 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:16,380 Today, the mysterious art of origami. No one knows where origami was invented. 159 00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:17,660 Japan. What? 160 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,460 Origami comes from Japan. 161 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,380 That's not a real... That's a made -up name. 162 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,780 Lord of the Rings book. 163 00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:30,640 Oh, I'm a hobbit. I live in Hobbitsville in Japan. 164 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,460 I used to live there. You used to live there? Oh, did you find the ring? 165 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:36,720 Don't worry about it. 166 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:44,580 This mysterious art form of unknown origin involves folding paper into 167 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:48,780 sculpture. So today, I'm going to be making the Sydney Opera House. 168 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,740 You take a piece of paper here. 169 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,260 You fold this edge here. 170 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,820 You take this coin? 171 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,820 How or how? 172 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,440 If you'd been to Japan, you'd know how to do it. No, no. 173 00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:22,180 Hey, I brought a little salad. 174 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:23,920 OMG. 175 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,860 Today it is Chloe's birthday. 176 00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:30,140 Oh, sorry. Can we bleep that? 177 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:36,700 Good. It is Chloe's 26th birthday, so the whole family is coming over for 178 00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:37,700 dinner. 179 00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:38,900 I'm dying. 180 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,180 Hey, you guys. 181 00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:48,440 I just brought a little salad, too. I'm literally dying. 182 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,560 Hey, you guys. 183 00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:54,180 Northy wanted to bring a little salad. 184 00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:55,740 Isn't that cute? 185 00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:57,260 Oh, cute. 186 00:12:58,660 --> 00:12:59,660 I'm dead. 187 00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:04,580 Flo, you spilled your salad. 188 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:06,040 Thank you. 189 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:07,880 Flo. 190 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,780 Flo. Marco. 191 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,260 Flo. Coco. 192 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,840 At least she died doing what she loved. Totally. 193 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,440 Choking on salad. 194 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,060 Do you know you lose weight when you die? 195 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:27,820 Some say it's a fault. 196 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,660 It's so simple, anyone can do it. 197 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:39,480 You take a piece of paper, and you make one simple fault, and you make a second 198 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,280 simple fault. 199 00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:46,260 Then... If you'd been to Japan, you'd... Shut up! All right. 200 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:49,180 Yeah! 201 00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:55,650 And there you have it. 202 00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:59,330 A simple origami Sydney Harbour Bridge. 203 00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,710 We could do a recycling one as well. 204 00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:19,290 Well, block it. 205 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:25,840 Our Fresco week has been and gone. You had $10 ,000 to create an outdoor 206 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:32,840 wonderland. So, let's start with... Babe and babe, how did you spend 207 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:33,619 your day? 208 00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:39,660 Oh, we were like, actually, we're just going to go to the Goldie. Yeah, it's 209 00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:41,640 sick, hey, it's so sick, yeah. 210 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,300 Three Park Superpass, brother. 211 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:47,620 Marilyn Monroe was there, she's like there, she's like in the museum, like 212 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,440 whack. She's dead, man, but waxed. 213 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,840 Sorry, how's Marilyn there? No, because she died in Pompeii and got frozen in 214 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,880 the wax, man. I don't believe that's 100 % accurate. 215 00:14:57,100 --> 00:15:01,320 It's so sick that you can shoot a gun in a shopping centre. There's actually a 216 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,980 full -on shopping centre where there's guns. Honestly, it's so sick. 217 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:10,100 And this place where you can go, it's like a room, man, and when you're in it, 218 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,480 it's like you're inside the mind of God. It's called Scooby -Doo Ride. 219 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:20,740 You can't ask that. Where viewers ask provocative questions to Australians 220 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:23,960 underrepresented groups, but all the good ones have been done. 221 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,300 Stage mothers and daughters. 222 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,340 Come on through into the space and take a seat. 223 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,380 You can just head on in normally, it's fine. That is normal. 224 00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:37,580 It's normal for us. 225 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,960 Step it up, darling. Don't be nervous. 226 00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:41,180 Thank you. You're a professional. 227 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:45,660 Hello, my name is Kiki. I'm a dancer, singer, and actor, a .k .a. a triple 228 00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:51,580 threat. And my name is Amber Rose, and I'm Kiki's mother, and I also am an 229 00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:54,340 actress, dancer, and candle maker. 230 00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:56,420 So here comes our first question. 231 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,120 Thank you. There'll be some fan questions in here, I'm sure. 232 00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:00,719 Okay. Okay. 233 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:01,720 Oh, okay. 234 00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:06,560 It says, are you two sisters? 235 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,720 Everyone always says, are you sisters? 236 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,040 Are you sisters? 237 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,940 And I say, no, that's my daughter. 238 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,300 I'm not sure that was the question. 239 00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:20,080 Right. That's written. You sort of do the question. Oh, yeah. It says, why are 240 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,080 you two dressed the same? 241 00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:23,020 Right. Well, 242 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:27,140 I think, Kiki, that's a question that can only be answered through hip -hop. 243 00:16:49,579 --> 00:16:55,000 Out here in the leafy suburb of Plummers Crack, Officer Brady has pulled over a 244 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,580 motorist who is on his last warning. 245 00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:00,400 All right, sir, how are we doing tonight? 246 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:01,639 Yep. 247 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,420 Fantastic. Would you mind blowing into this? 248 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:19,700 What's that? 249 00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:22,780 High score. 250 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:23,960 High score. 251 00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:26,440 Yeah, that's high score. 252 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,760 Yeah, but unfortunately, on this occasion, mate, a high score is not 253 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,759 good at all. 254 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,400 Think of drink driving more like golf. 255 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,300 Oh, golf. 256 00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:37,620 Low score. 257 00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:39,980 High score. Yeah. 258 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:48,840 Okay, class. 259 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,140 Hello, everyone. My name is Mr. 260 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,500 Normie. Whatever. 261 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:53,839 Hi, Mr. 262 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,080 Bormie. I'm Lena. 263 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:56,280 Sir, I'm Lana. 264 00:17:56,540 --> 00:17:57,800 Hello, Lena and Lana. 265 00:17:58,020 --> 00:17:59,620 It's a pleasure to meet you. 266 00:17:59,940 --> 00:18:01,520 Do you know what happened to our last teacher, sir? 267 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,340 Mr. Riley was low -key cancelled. 268 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:04,640 Cancelled AF. 269 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:05,840 Someone found his old tweet. 270 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,140 They went nuts there. 271 00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:11,160 Okay, well, I'm sure that he didn't mean... Are you defending him, sir? Way 272 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,160 not say esche. 273 00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,040 You could be cancelled by association. 274 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,080 No, no, I didn't mean this. You should apologise. 275 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,180 I'm sorry. Fake apology, mate. If you don't film your apology in portrait mode 276 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,140 and live stream it immediately, it didn't even happen. 277 00:18:24,380 --> 00:18:26,080 There was no receipts, literally. 278 00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:27,420 Okay. 279 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,980 Let's just take out our books. 280 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:31,780 Books? Cringe. 281 00:18:32,140 --> 00:18:33,140 Yikes. 282 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,400 Maybe you should resign before you get cancelled. 283 00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:39,980 I'm not going to resign. I just literally started today. 284 00:18:40,639 --> 00:18:41,639 Yes, question. 285 00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:42,740 What's your favourite minion? 286 00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:45,340 I don't have a favourite minion. They all look the same. 287 00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:46,540 Oh, they all look the same? 288 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,240 Oh, they all look the same to you? 289 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,320 And finally, tonight on 60 Seconds, we cross to our war correspondent. 290 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,180 Angelique, what's it like on the front line? 291 00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:56,380 Well, it's not bad. 292 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,440 Really? Yes. Final thoughts? 293 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,320 Big yikes. That's a detailed breakdown from Angelique. That's all the time we 294 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,400 have for you tonight. Good night. 295 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:17,860 Coming soon, the unstoppable excitement of Underbelly Delivery Wars continues as 296 00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:24,220 we go inside to find a feed delivery crew and their terrifying 297 00:19:24,220 --> 00:19:25,240 tag deck. 298 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,559 Oh, tell me. 299 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:27,560 There he is. 300 00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:29,780 What have you got there, mate? Burrito. 301 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,460 How much do you make a day? What, four or five bucks? 302 00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:36,699 If I'm lucky. 303 00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,840 So how do you afford that? 304 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,660 Is your name Carol now, mate? Should I call you Carol? 305 00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:47,300 What is the number one rule about being a delivery driver? 306 00:19:47,540 --> 00:19:49,480 It's don't get high on your own supply. 307 00:19:49,820 --> 00:19:53,480 It's just a burrito, man, I like. We're pulling you from the Mexican joints. 308 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,760 It's your car. 309 00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:58,380 It's for your own good. Tommy's days are numbered. 310 00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,380 Street justice will be served. 311 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,000 Underbelly Delivery Wars. 312 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,860 It's just what you ordered. I can quit it! 313 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:53,760 Your squid. 314 00:20:56,580 --> 00:20:57,580 Sorry, 315 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,480 I thought the prize was the millions of dollars you've been collecting in the 316 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,680 giant globe in the ceiling. 317 00:21:02,980 --> 00:21:07,660 Ah, I see what you've done there. No, the money is the metaphor for the real 318 00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:10,600 prize. Which is this squid. 319 00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:13,480 I love the squid. 320 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,560 I also would have loved a million dollars. 321 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:21,480 Just because I did. Oh, I betrayed so many people. Two of them. 322 00:21:26,830 --> 00:21:27,830 She likes it. 323 00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:32,570 Stage mothers and daughters. 324 00:21:34,570 --> 00:21:36,970 Would you like a monologue? I could cry on command. 325 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,650 I just bring up her dad and she'll just start crying. 326 00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:41,630 What's wrong with her dad? No need to cry. 327 00:21:41,850 --> 00:21:43,650 Listen, he's not gone. 328 00:21:44,350 --> 00:21:47,310 He's just, you know, usually just like in the lounge. He's not really into 329 00:21:47,310 --> 00:21:50,350 dancing. You mentioned before you were raising your daughter as a feminist. 330 00:21:50,590 --> 00:21:55,050 I am. I'm raising young Kiki as a feminist. A beautiful feminist. I mean, 331 00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:57,400 get me wrong. We're shaving her underarms. A hot feminist. 332 00:21:57,740 --> 00:21:58,740 Actually, 333 00:21:59,180 --> 00:22:02,340 all the suffragettes were hot. That's why the vote was a thing. The 334 00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:04,260 were hot. We've got to dance about the suffragettes. We do. 335 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:05,500 Vote for women. 336 00:22:05,540 --> 00:22:06,540 Vote for women. 337 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,680 I want them to come and give me a vote, please. 338 00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:11,300 Oh, give me a vote, sir. 339 00:22:11,660 --> 00:22:15,760 Oh, sir, why don't you let me have a little say in what's going on in the 340 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,780 government, sir? This isn't working out. 341 00:22:18,260 --> 00:22:20,480 Wow, a man stopping the suffrage movement. 342 00:22:39,220 --> 00:22:41,160 G'day, bargain hunters. Bevan here. 343 00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:47,840 Check this out. It might not look like much, but this is a vase from the Ming 344 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:48,840 Dynasty. 345 00:22:49,460 --> 00:22:53,060 Now, the joker inside gave it to me for $200. 346 00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:54,960 I've died and gone to... 347 00:22:57,390 --> 00:22:58,410 Come on. Here we go. 348 00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:09,270 Hot deals. 349 00:23:09,610 --> 00:23:10,690 Welcome to Hot Deals. 350 00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:14,370 Today, consider us your technology super center. 351 00:23:14,570 --> 00:23:17,210 We have got a very sick deal for you today. 352 00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:18,689 Yeah, man. 353 00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:19,890 We're selling an iPhone. 354 00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:25,330 Cracked. Don't even worry about it, brother. It's cracked, but it still 355 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:26,570 No, no. 356 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,580 You pick us up second -hand for a deal and we're passing the bargains on to 357 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:31,499 the customer. 358 00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:35,600 Yeah, it's locked, Bart. Yeah, but the code has four numbers long, so you play 359 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,140 the game of crack the code. 360 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,380 One in four chance to get it right. 361 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:40,640 It's only 50 bucks. 362 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:47,260 You unlock it, you can call anyone you want. Call up, like, old mate or just a 363 00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:50,020 rando. Yeah, what time is it? 364 00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:51,700 You do your prank calls, funny. 365 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,200 Prank calls, man. Remember prank calls? 366 00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:56,680 Suffice to say, this is... 367 00:23:56,910 --> 00:24:00,830 A lifetime of entertainment that fits in your pocket. It's 50 bucks. 368 00:24:01,230 --> 00:24:05,450 Yeah, 50 bucks. And as we always say, don't turn the clock. 369 00:24:07,410 --> 00:24:08,410 It's... 370 00:24:24,670 --> 00:24:29,950 8am at triple zero HQ and operator Phil is quick on the phones. 371 00:24:30,270 --> 00:24:31,310 I wake up with today. 372 00:24:33,110 --> 00:24:35,470 Sorry, I'm waiting for another call. 373 00:24:37,390 --> 00:24:38,690 I wake up with today. 374 00:24:39,390 --> 00:24:45,970 I wake up with today. 375 00:24:50,290 --> 00:24:51,570 Can't pin this on me. 376 00:24:52,010 --> 00:24:53,270 I didn't do anything. 377 00:24:53,470 --> 00:24:54,429 Oh, really? 378 00:24:54,430 --> 00:24:57,730 Detective Gunn here can place you at the crime scene minutes before it happens. 379 00:24:57,910 --> 00:24:59,050 It's a stitch -up. 380 00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:00,910 You've had it in for me for years. 381 00:25:01,170 --> 00:25:02,170 How do you explain this? 382 00:25:03,470 --> 00:25:05,050 Lots of people carry knives. 383 00:25:05,250 --> 00:25:06,250 Oh, really? 384 00:25:06,330 --> 00:25:07,370 Knives that look like this? 385 00:25:08,270 --> 00:25:09,270 Could be anything. 386 00:25:09,470 --> 00:25:12,590 It's going to be a lot easier for you, mate, in the long run, if you just come 387 00:25:12,590 --> 00:25:13,590 clean. 388 00:25:14,990 --> 00:25:15,990 Right. 389 00:25:16,190 --> 00:25:18,190 I ate your stupid lasagna. 390 00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:19,590 You satisfied? 391 00:25:20,690 --> 00:25:22,030 There's a reason, Detective. 392 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:27,020 then we put our names on the food in the staff fridge. I was really looking 393 00:25:27,020 --> 00:25:28,320 forward to that, Martin. 394 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,680 I was really looking forward to it. I've even made a little side salad, Martin. 395 00:25:32,820 --> 00:25:34,920 What am I going to have a little side salad with now? 396 00:25:35,180 --> 00:25:37,320 Well, a side salad can be a meal in and of itself. 397 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,880 You just add some croutons. 398 00:25:41,700 --> 00:25:42,700 He's not wrong. 399 00:25:43,780 --> 00:25:46,480 Well, get me some croutons, Martin. I'll go to the shop and get you some 400 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,480 croutons. Do you want anything? 401 00:25:47,660 --> 00:25:48,379 Fizzy drink. 402 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,380 Fizzy drink. 403 00:26:04,010 --> 00:26:05,010 G'day, bargain hunters. 404 00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:08,430 Bevan here. What time is it? It's bargain o 'clock. 405 00:26:08,630 --> 00:26:10,630 Check out this beautiful piece. 406 00:26:10,930 --> 00:26:17,570 It's an exquisite clock made by artisanal clockmaker Franz Bachmann 407 00:26:17,570 --> 00:26:20,030 years ago. That's why we're wearing the gloves. 408 00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:24,150 Still tells beautiful time, though. I mean, check out my watch. 409 00:26:34,220 --> 00:26:37,920 Thank you, Kiki. And what have you cooked for us today? 410 00:26:38,820 --> 00:26:43,020 I have cooked shepherd's pie. 411 00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:51,680 It's a pie that shepherds eat, because even shepherds... 412 00:27:01,700 --> 00:27:04,700 Okay, can you tell us a little bit about what you've prepared? Smile, sweetie. 413 00:27:05,340 --> 00:27:06,440 Chest and chompers out. 414 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,840 Chest to the chompers. It's all about chest and chompers. 415 00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:12,260 This is quite a sloppy job. 416 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,800 Just tell us how you used your eight hours of preparation time, please. 417 00:27:16,540 --> 00:27:19,900 Well, I did 40 minutes of stretching and in pro to loosen up, I did a vocal 418 00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:22,600 intensive warm -up. Well, I don't think you used your time very effectively. I'm 419 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,180 sorry, what did you just say to my daughter? 420 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,680 At the end of the day, she's made a mess of this, which is why... 421 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,080 Kiki, I'm sorry, but it's time to go home. 422 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:39,300 Sad, sad. Wait in the car, sweetie. Wait in the car. That's sad. That is sad. 423 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,060 It's my time to shine. 424 00:27:42,740 --> 00:27:48,140 Who wants to see a shoulder from mommy? It's for free. Who wants a little treat 425 00:27:48,140 --> 00:27:51,260 from me? I can make you something sweet. 426 00:28:04,110 --> 00:28:05,110 Seal of Urgot. 427 00:28:05,530 --> 00:28:07,010 Oh, ancient stone. 428 00:28:08,570 --> 00:28:09,850 Reveal your message. 429 00:28:14,910 --> 00:28:16,650 D -17. 430 00:28:17,410 --> 00:28:18,610 What does that mean? 431 00:28:18,850 --> 00:28:22,590 D -17, D -17, that's my apple ticket. That's my apple one. 432 00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:27,250 Are you saying that parchment has the power to bestow its owner with a tray of 433 00:28:27,250 --> 00:28:28,610 delicacies? Yes. 434 00:28:28,850 --> 00:28:30,810 Where can I procure such a parchment? 435 00:28:31,010 --> 00:28:32,310 Ah, well, just ask Barry. 436 00:28:32,630 --> 00:28:34,110 Ten dollars. or three for five? 437 00:28:34,430 --> 00:28:37,790 Money goes towards fixing the club, doesn't it? I don't have my wallet. Will 438 00:28:37,790 --> 00:28:41,990 take this hammer? It's magic. The club could do with another tool around here. 439 00:28:42,070 --> 00:28:43,070 All right. 440 00:28:43,630 --> 00:28:45,370 Here you go. Time for another spin. 441 00:28:45,590 --> 00:28:46,590 All right. 442 00:28:47,270 --> 00:28:48,270 Don't hurt your back, Barry. 443 00:28:48,370 --> 00:28:50,970 Thank you, young man. 444 00:28:53,590 --> 00:28:55,490 F44. Ah, damn it! 445 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:04,380 Can I have, like, one of the chops? 446 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:06,880 You can have a chop. Come on, Paul. 447 00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:08,620 Thank you. I'll give you a chop. 448 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:11,720 People of Earth. 449 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,960 I am the supervillain, Dr. 450 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:17,480 Armageddon. 451 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,200 If you are not afraid, I suggest you... 452 00:29:38,030 --> 00:29:42,590 from the f***ing carousel when you're waiting for your bag. 453 00:29:42,830 --> 00:29:47,310 It won't make your bag come out any faster. It'll just stop everyone else 454 00:29:47,310 --> 00:29:52,630 spotting theirs because you're in the way like some sort of meat barricade. 455 00:29:52,630 --> 00:29:57,670 next time I see someone do this, I will destroy the entire country of Belgium. 456 00:30:12,170 --> 00:30:13,430 look like a doggy or something. 457 00:30:15,470 --> 00:30:16,470 That's cool. 458 00:30:32,670 --> 00:30:38,930 At triple zero HQ, operator Phil is the first port of call for emergency. 459 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:41,620 I'm at the services, Phil speaking. 460 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:46,480 Hello. Hello, I don't have a lot of time. Hi. I'm on a bus and... What? 461 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:52,220 Yeah, can you speak up? I can't speak up. I'm on a bus and someone has 462 00:30:52,220 --> 00:30:53,280 it. Oh, my God. 463 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,460 Yes. They've hijacked the bus and they're... You're in speed. 464 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,860 Have you seen speed? Because you are in a speed right now. 465 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,560 I guess it is just a bit like speed. Yeah. 466 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:06,740 You're in a speed, dude. 467 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,279 That's awesome. 468 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:09,920 Hey, can you say yippee -ki -yay? 469 00:31:11,590 --> 00:31:12,670 That's from Die Hard. 470 00:31:14,050 --> 00:31:18,690 No, Greg Speed says it to the bad guy before he kicks him off the bus in 471 00:31:18,790 --> 00:31:23,910 Whatever. Listen, there are two... Sorry, do you think the main character 472 00:31:23,910 --> 00:31:25,930 Speed is called Greg Speed? 473 00:31:26,670 --> 00:31:28,550 Yeah, that's why it's called Speed. 474 00:31:28,790 --> 00:31:29,790 Hello? 475 00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:45,270 It is from Die Hard. 476 00:31:47,330 --> 00:31:52,130 And that is how one plucky murderer thung his way out of jail. 477 00:31:52,430 --> 00:31:57,030 Amazing. Next, we're crossing live to Town Hall where Adam Spinks is about to 478 00:31:57,030 --> 00:31:58,730 address the media. Let's hear from Adam. 479 00:32:01,150 --> 00:32:04,730 OK, we might get started. I'm going to read a brief statement before opening up 480 00:32:04,730 --> 00:32:05,730 for questions. 481 00:32:06,700 --> 00:32:10,480 I wanted to address the rumour that has been circulating since Jack's sleepover 482 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:14,500 party last weekend that I allegedly said that my dad could beat up Tristan's 483 00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,740 dad. This has been wildly manipulated. 484 00:32:17,620 --> 00:32:21,760 I may have told Tristan that my dad was stronger than his dad, but at no time 485 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:25,580 did I say that he could or would beat him up. Is it true your dad is going to 486 00:32:25,580 --> 00:32:26,720 fight Tristan's dad? 487 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,600 There's nothing to suggest that this time, no. 488 00:32:29,940 --> 00:32:32,700 Do you believe your dad could beat up Tristan's dad? 489 00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:38,060 Definitely stronger than his. 490 00:32:38,260 --> 00:32:40,540 Would Jack agree with any of Jack's birthdays? 491 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,080 I'll let you decide that one. 492 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:47,540 Is it true that you also said your uncle, quote, works at Nintendo and is 493 00:32:47,540 --> 00:32:49,380 you a special Nintendo... OK. 494 00:32:50,100 --> 00:32:55,040 So, we've addressed this false remark multiple times. If you can't respect 495 00:32:55,180 --> 00:32:56,099 then we're done. 496 00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:57,100 Yeah, one more question. 497 00:32:57,540 --> 00:32:58,780 What's the strongest dinosaur? 498 00:33:06,889 --> 00:33:08,810 This is murder on the border. 499 00:33:10,970 --> 00:33:13,190 Detective, they found him an hour ago. 500 00:33:14,770 --> 00:33:16,290 Do we have a time of death? 501 00:33:16,730 --> 00:33:19,230 Judging by the smell, he's been here at least a week. 502 00:33:19,870 --> 00:33:20,890 God, the puncher. 503 00:33:21,390 --> 00:33:23,630 Sorry, detective, it's just my sister, I mean. 504 00:33:23,910 --> 00:33:25,130 Fermented fish delicacy. 505 00:33:25,530 --> 00:33:29,570 It smells like trash, it's true, but there was no time for a proper 506 00:33:29,570 --> 00:33:31,910 dinner on account of the Christian -Scandinavian murder. 507 00:33:32,630 --> 00:33:33,970 It's a nod from the killer. 508 00:33:34,250 --> 00:33:35,250 Is that sister, I mean? 509 00:33:35,660 --> 00:33:37,500 I will swap you some of my blitzkale. 510 00:33:37,820 --> 00:33:43,520 It is a lamb's head that has been left to fester in a cup of toilet for ten 511 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:44,820 weeks, as we all know. 512 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:50,720 Starving? Yes, as well. I bought this tendon urgent that gives us a 513 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:51,800 rancid decision. 514 00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:58,160 Please, officers, these delicious Scandinavian treats are getting in the 515 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,600 solving this grim slaying. How are we supposed to solve this murder with you 516 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:05,100 flashing these delicious Scandinavian delicacies in our face? Okay. 517 00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:06,500 Who wants a cheap sandwich? 518 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,860 Get this freak away from my crime scene. 519 00:34:14,679 --> 00:34:20,659 Of course, fire with my little eye. 520 00:34:20,980 --> 00:34:22,820 A great Aussie bargain. 521 00:34:23,420 --> 00:34:28,199 G'day, Bevan here. Check this out, hunters. Pick this little regal teapot 522 00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:31,199 50 bucks. I reckon I can flip it for 300. 523 00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:32,639 Now that... 524 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,280 is a success story. 525 00:34:34,659 --> 00:34:38,000 And... Check this out. 526 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:43,400 Marbles. Oldest trick in the book, but it's going to take a little bit more 527 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,600 that to get old Bevan down. 528 00:34:46,420 --> 00:34:49,820 Now, I'll be laughing all the way to the bank. 529 00:35:05,230 --> 00:35:08,630 This is old Prime Minister's home for four -year -olds. 530 00:35:11,010 --> 00:35:15,470 Our former PMs are painting self -portraits with the children. 531 00:35:15,870 --> 00:35:18,010 All right, let's check out everybody's portraits. 532 00:35:19,130 --> 00:35:23,050 Ah, beautiful, Skylar. And I love that you've included the yellow sun. 533 00:35:23,710 --> 00:35:26,170 That is really good, Kevin. 534 00:35:26,850 --> 00:35:30,250 Here I am as a typical Aussie bloke. 535 00:35:30,530 --> 00:35:33,590 Kevin suffers from delusions of grandeur. 536 00:35:36,140 --> 00:35:40,360 Tony, you know they're supposed to be self -portraits. I must have forgotten. 537 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,460 This isn't a painting of me. 538 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:47,620 Obviously, I am a human man. 539 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,660 And Malcolm hasn't even started. 540 00:35:53,020 --> 00:35:57,400 I was just about to commence my tasteful self -representation when I got 541 00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,540 involved in a fascinating conversation with this fine fellow in the window. 542 00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:03,440 You're quite right. 543 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,440 If only we could have another Renaissance. 544 00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:07,280 Wouldn't it be wonderful for humanity? 545 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,020 Oh, Scott, that is not a painting of you. 546 00:36:10,540 --> 00:36:12,360 Yes, it is. I did that. 547 00:36:12,580 --> 00:36:14,520 No, you just stole Scarlet's portrait. 548 00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:19,980 Well, I'm only just finding out about this now. And when I find out who's 549 00:36:19,980 --> 00:36:23,360 responsible, rest assured, Jenny and the girls will issue a full apology. 550 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:39,920 The beach attracts all comers. 551 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,340 Not all of them are prepared for the conditions. 552 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,220 Look there, Santa Claus, British backpacker. 553 00:36:48,300 --> 00:36:50,420 He's walking on the sand in socks and shoes. 554 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:51,840 It gets worse. 555 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,340 Rolled up chinos and a leather belt. That's inhuman. 556 00:36:56,940 --> 00:37:00,020 Hang about, he's going to take off his shirt. Hey, hey, don't look, don't... 557 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:24,340 Welcome to Millionaire Hot Feet. I'm Eddie McGuire and let's meet our 558 00:37:24,340 --> 00:37:28,820 contestants. Competing for a million dollars, we have Gary Barwell from 559 00:37:28,820 --> 00:37:33,940 Victoria. Gary is an engineer hoping to reinvent himself during this television 560 00:37:33,940 --> 00:37:36,300 appearance by wearing a fedora. 561 00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:43,260 We're also joined by Lisa Lisa Pumpkin Eater. Just kidding. Lisa hates pumpkin 562 00:37:43,260 --> 00:37:46,260 and specifically asked us not to bring it up. 563 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:54,210 Alex Rawlings. is completing a PhD on sarcasm, which we all think sounds 564 00:37:54,210 --> 00:37:55,210 amazing. 565 00:37:57,970 --> 00:38:03,250 Jim Kilroy is from Darwin and was told repeatedly to wee before the show 566 00:38:03,250 --> 00:38:04,250 started. 567 00:38:05,470 --> 00:38:08,050 Didn't I say, go before we start? 568 00:38:08,270 --> 00:38:14,530 And finally, Leon Rice is a CSIRO researcher who invented a cloak of 569 00:38:14,530 --> 00:38:16,750 invisibility. Give us a wave, Leon. 570 00:38:17,590 --> 00:38:18,710 It works. 571 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,160 There we go. 572 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,920 Okay, guys, the monster's nearly here. How are we going to defeat it? I think 573 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:35,920 home alone him. 574 00:38:36,380 --> 00:38:40,980 Yeah, I'm talking paint tins and thumbtacks on the stairs, the whole 575 00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:42,600 What if we goonies him? 576 00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:47,280 Distract him with a series of gadgets before we let greed be his undoing. 577 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:51,760 What about a combo? We hit him with the Home Alone, and then a double Goonies, 578 00:38:51,860 --> 00:38:56,200 and then Ghostbusters with a twist, followed by a reverse Karate Kid. 579 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,080 I think we back to the future him. 580 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:03,000 Back to future one, where we make out with our moms and our dad comes and 581 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,780 punches him. Or back to future three, where we punch him into manure and make 582 00:39:07,780 --> 00:39:10,800 out with our moms. I don't know any of these references. 583 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:13,640 Ghost Dad! 584 00:39:19,790 --> 00:39:24,470 And now for the weather with our new weatherman, Jeremy, who is already on 585 00:39:24,470 --> 00:39:25,448 last warning. 586 00:39:25,450 --> 00:39:26,450 Come on, Jez. 587 00:39:26,770 --> 00:39:27,770 Thanks, guys. 588 00:39:27,890 --> 00:39:31,950 Jeremy McGulligan here, and we are at the Carnival of Flowers. And let me tell 589 00:39:31,950 --> 00:39:33,190 you, it's exciting times. 590 00:39:33,470 --> 00:39:35,990 It's absolutely crazy down here. 591 00:39:37,550 --> 00:39:41,330 Admittedly, there's not a whole Carnival of Flowers. It's more of a small 592 00:39:41,330 --> 00:39:42,490 sprinkling of flowers. 593 00:39:43,530 --> 00:39:49,010 Okay, well, we do have it here that the Carnival of Flowers was last week. 594 00:39:49,580 --> 00:39:54,060 That explains why there was no sort of gates or official signage or hardly any 595 00:39:54,060 --> 00:39:55,360 punters or hardly any flowers. 596 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,120 Why don't we just read the weather? 597 00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:59,500 I've lost the piece of paper that it was on. 598 00:40:02,700 --> 00:40:08,600 All right. And coming up next, should four -year -olds be allowed to carry 599 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:09,660 hunting knives? 600 00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:13,020 We're going to speak to one expert who thinks they shouldn't. 601 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:28,000 Well, the thing is, Miss Mabel, this is one case we really think we need your 602 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,000 assistance with. 603 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:30,080 Oh? 604 00:40:30,420 --> 00:40:32,860 Miss Mabel, I'm afraid there's been a murder. 605 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:34,460 Good heavens, a murder? 606 00:40:34,700 --> 00:40:36,680 That's right, Miss Mabel, a murder. 607 00:40:37,300 --> 00:40:42,360 Here in sleepy old Stabbington. I can scarcely believe it. I grew up my whole 608 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:43,138 life here. 609 00:40:43,140 --> 00:40:45,400 Lived right around the corner on Homicide Lane. 610 00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:46,760 Never had a murder. 611 00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:49,920 Oh, indeed. I don't think there's ever been a murder here before. 612 00:40:50,670 --> 00:40:54,110 Except for just after the war, when poor old Father Croke was thrown from the 613 00:40:54,110 --> 00:40:55,990 roof of the church by his identical twin. 614 00:40:56,290 --> 00:40:57,970 Well, except for that murder, yes. 615 00:40:58,170 --> 00:41:01,930 Or last summer, when poor Mr Kickbucket was decapitated by this pudding bandit. 616 00:41:02,010 --> 00:41:06,290 Terrible business that, yeah, no good. But apart from that, it's hard to 617 00:41:06,290 --> 00:41:10,030 we'd have a murder here in Stabbington. Except for Butcher Johnson. 618 00:41:10,290 --> 00:41:12,370 Except for Butcher Johnson, obviously. 619 00:41:12,850 --> 00:41:16,850 I mean, he killed an entire rugby team with nothing but a branch. Really good 620 00:41:16,850 --> 00:41:21,180 murdering, he was. But listen, here in Stabbington, though. A murder, you know 621 00:41:21,180 --> 00:41:25,440 what I mean. Can you help us, Miss Mabel? Well, there's another murder 622 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,280 for half three, but I suppose I can squeeze you in. 623 00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:29,620 Thank you, Miss Mabel. 624 00:41:30,700 --> 00:41:31,700 Shivvy Pete. 625 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:33,740 Forgot about Shivvy Pete. 626 00:41:34,020 --> 00:41:35,020 Oh, yeah, we need Shivvy. 627 00:41:52,230 --> 00:41:55,410 Obviously very old. A little bit old. Not much use for these sort of things 628 00:41:55,410 --> 00:41:56,348 nowadays. 629 00:41:56,350 --> 00:41:59,350 I couldn't see you getting more than $100. 630 00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:00,788 Oh, well. 631 00:42:00,790 --> 00:42:04,490 A little disappointing, but much in line with what I was expecting. 632 00:42:05,090 --> 00:42:06,370 Now, shall we look at the bar? 633 00:42:06,810 --> 00:42:07,810 Yes. 634 00:42:08,450 --> 00:42:15,150 I think you'll be very... Yes, you will be. People of Earth! 635 00:42:17,170 --> 00:42:19,430 I am the supervillain, Dr. 636 00:42:19,850 --> 00:42:20,850 Armageddon! 637 00:42:24,230 --> 00:42:31,050 I demand that the thing, that thing with the bread type, what's it, Carol? 638 00:42:32,070 --> 00:42:33,750 What's that bread thing called? 639 00:42:34,030 --> 00:42:38,870 Nobody knows what it's called. But we need to get rid of it. It's too flimsy. 640 00:42:38,870 --> 00:42:42,850 don't want people just holding the bag over and then thinking that's fine. It's 641 00:42:42,850 --> 00:42:43,669 not fine. 642 00:42:43,670 --> 00:42:45,210 You have until midnight tonight. 643 00:42:45,530 --> 00:42:47,050 And I mean business, people. 644 00:42:48,790 --> 00:42:50,870 Did I just say people or people? 645 00:42:52,590 --> 00:42:53,950 We'll do one more. 646 00:42:54,670 --> 00:42:55,990 Now, this is live. 49380

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