All language subtitles for We Interrupt This Broadcast s01e06
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Spanish (Latin American)
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:06,940
Tonight, celebrities are pushed to their
physical and psychological limit by a
2
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:11,220
very shouty Englishman. This is FAS
Australia.
3
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,300
Congratulations cadets!
4
00:00:17,540 --> 00:00:19,600
You have made it to the final round.
5
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:26,860
This next challenge is designed to push
you to your limits, both mentally and
6
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:27,860
physically.
7
00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:31,380
Oh, my God.
8
00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:37,880
You have 20 minutes to assemble this
modular Swedish furniture or you will be
9
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,560
eliminated. Can't you just tase us
instead?
10
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:49,220
All right, hurry up, you grubs. This
won't fit. Why won't it fit?
11
00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:50,460
Who took my allergy?
12
00:00:53,230 --> 00:00:54,230
Don't make any sense.
13
00:00:54,470 --> 00:00:55,470
Three minutes left.
14
00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:56,610
We need more time.
15
00:00:56,870 --> 00:00:57,829
We don't have time.
16
00:00:57,830 --> 00:01:01,090
We'll let this done and delivered before
my wife gets home.
17
00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:03,150
What? What did you say?
18
00:01:04,430 --> 00:01:06,990
I said get moving, you maggots.
19
00:01:09,530 --> 00:01:12,290
Rudy, we interrupt this board talk.
20
00:01:33,740 --> 00:01:38,780
People say being a politician and being
in politics changes you, but I'm here to
21
00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:42,300
say that I'm ready for love. Hi, I'm
Samantha.
22
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,280
Hello, Samantha.
23
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,680
Duncan Cobby, Member of Parliament.
24
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,640
So, Samantha, do you take Duncan to be
your husband?
25
00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:54,660
I do.
26
00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:59,220
And Duncan, do you take Samantha to be
your wife?
27
00:02:03,050 --> 00:02:08,470
Listen, it is an important issue that is
currently in front of a parliamentary
28
00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:14,310
committee and as a result we'll be
keeping our powder dry and not speaking
29
00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:15,269
that today.
30
00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:16,270
So next question.
31
00:02:16,430 --> 00:02:21,150
Well there's only one question really
and that's do you take Samantha to be
32
00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:25,110
wife? Well, let me just say this.
33
00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:31,490
This is an important matter for our
party and for all Australians.
34
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,580
And I'd rather give you a strong answer
at the appropriate time.
35
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,300
It's just, like, I do.
36
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,360
Well, I'll take that as a comment and
next question.
37
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,360
Thanks.
38
00:02:55,470 --> 00:02:59,090
He's on the move. He has left the pub. I
repeat, he has left the pub. All right,
39
00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:02,530
have we hacked his phone yet? Yes,
Chief, he appears to be texting his ex.
40
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:06,270
boy, this puppy is hammered. All right,
I'm going to need surveillance on every
41
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:10,590
karaoke bar, tattoo parlour, 24 -hour
convenience store within a 100 -metre
42
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:11,590
radius.
43
00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:13,150
Hunting people is hard.
44
00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,170
Hunting drunk people is impossible.
45
00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:19,430
To catch a munted, you've got to get
inside the mind of a munted.
46
00:03:19,810 --> 00:03:20,810
Excuse me.
47
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,220
Let's catch this big dog.
48
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,300
What are you guys doing?
49
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,920
No credit card transactions.
50
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,440
Steve, it's completely dark.
51
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,360
Yeah, that's because he's trying to pay
with his library card. Wait,
52
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:47,940
he's just spent $600 on his Amazon app.
This is a drunken purchase of a bass
53
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:51,540
guitar. It's meaningless. He's never
going to learn it. Come on, people. This
54
00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:52,459
just noise.
55
00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:54,380
Ignore it. I've got him. I've got him.
I've got him.
56
00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:55,580
He stopped moving.
57
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:57,559
What's he doing?
58
00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:58,760
I think he's asleep
59
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,460
We're pretty big travellers, eh, babe?
Yeah, I mean, babe, pretty big
60
00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:27,040
travellers. Yeah, we're, like, real
prepared for anything life throws at us,
61
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,160
know? But, like, obviously, some
countries are better than others.
62
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,780
Carissa and Sean, you were the last team
to arrive by several hours.
63
00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:43,320
But I'm happy to say that you're not
getting eliminated, as Phil had a heart
64
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:44,720
attack. Oh, brutal.
65
00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:48,400
Your next destination is Switzerland.
66
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:53,300
I was thinking, like, we'd go back to
Bali. Yeah, I reckon Bali, eh?
67
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:57,240
It's cheap as. It's cheap as. And you've
been cleared of all charges. Oh, I've
68
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,200
been cleared of the charges. So,
actually, no, I can't officially go
69
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,400
would not have entered that DJ booth if
we didn't think it was David Guetta. We
70
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,020
thought it was David Guetta. Like, you
don't know who David Guetta is. No one
71
00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:09,920
knows. And, like, the 50 -cent beers. We
drank heat. And you had that cocktail
72
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,320
with the blues. Because that's cultural.
73
00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:12,519
You have to drink that after that.
74
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,720
This is the amazing race. Yeah, they're
amazing.
75
00:05:14,950 --> 00:05:18,690
Amazing. They are an amazing race, the
Barleys. The Barleys, yeah, they're so
76
00:05:18,690 --> 00:05:20,650
good. They're so friendly. So nurturing,
spiritual.
77
00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:23,930
Welcoming. 50 cent meals. 50 cent meals.
78
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:28,250
Massage. Massage. And it was just a
massage, babe.
79
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,950
This is a TV show. It can't go back to
the same spot.
80
00:05:32,590 --> 00:05:36,030
Alright, I hear you, dude. Like, what if
we go to the Goldie?
81
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:48,340
As the cops will tell you, if you drink
and drive, you're a bloody idiot.
82
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:52,200
Mind you, it's not like the cops are all
geniuses.
83
00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:56,880
No! Steady on, Hot Wheels.
84
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,420
Could you hold this while I blow into
this?
85
00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:03,980
Sing the song.
86
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,460
Happy birthday to you.
87
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,540
Happy birthday to you.
88
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:12,260
Happy birthday, dear.
89
00:06:13,630 --> 00:06:14,970
Sergeant. Sergeant.
90
00:06:15,690 --> 00:06:17,630
Happy birthday to you.
91
00:06:18,650 --> 00:06:20,370
Hooray! Hooray!
92
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:25,170
Lovely.
93
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:31,670
Well, everyone at the station forgot, so
you've... That was really nice. Thank
94
00:06:31,670 --> 00:06:34,110
you very much. You can move on. Looks
like good cake.
95
00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:36,510
Yeah. Bye now.
96
00:06:37,410 --> 00:06:38,530
Goodbye, Constable.
97
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:41,770
Coming soon.
98
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:47,080
The next electrifying chapter in the
never -ending Underbelly franchise.
99
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:53,600
The shocking true story of Australia's
most notorious bikey gang.
100
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,180
Underbelly Delivery Wars.
101
00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:58,100
Delivered it on time, did you?
102
00:06:58,340 --> 00:07:04,280
Yeah. Well, that is just... In
103
00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:08,780
a world where reputation is key.
104
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,660
I'm the guy with the 4 .8 star rating,
babe.
105
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,160
This is who I am.
106
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,760
Jake. That says Jake.
107
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,100
I don't know how to change it.
108
00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:23,520
A gang who live by a code of conduct.
109
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,700
You pick up the meal, you wait outside
the shop for 10 minutes, then you drive
110
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:30,560
around in circles. You go backwards if
you have to. You go backwards, exactly.
111
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:35,620
Do you understand me? Kurt, I'll go a
weirdly long way. And shut down their
112
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:36,920
rival's customer.
113
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,740
Now repeat after me. I will never order
from Grub Run ever again.
114
00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:41,950
I will never order from Grub Run ever
again.
115
00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:48,170
Five -star drama from the people that
keep on making the same damn song.
116
00:07:48,330 --> 00:07:50,570
Tonight, they'll be eating my bitch.
117
00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:00,070
Underbelly Delivery War.
118
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:04,310
Coming soon, but probably later than
expected.
119
00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:13,920
Tell us, why did you decide to cook this
risotto?
120
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:21,300
This dish was actually a tribute to my
great -aunt Gretchen, who sadly died
121
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,300
year.
122
00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:23,780
Oh.
123
00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:29,360
It's got a woolly mouthfeel.
124
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:34,860
I'm definitely very aware of the width
of my throat right now.
125
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:38,179
It's a tasteful and tasty homage.
126
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,280
Your great aunt would be really proud.
127
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,760
How did she die?
128
00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:46,140
She actually choked on undercooked
asparagus.
129
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:52,260
Sorry,
130
00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,040
that's triggering.
131
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,020
That's what happened.
132
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,320
Congratulations.
133
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:06,240
You're through to the final.
134
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,010
I've got butterflies in my stomach.
135
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:40,370
I'm feeling nervous, but also really
excited to see her.
136
00:09:40,970 --> 00:09:42,010
And then I see her.
137
00:09:42,590 --> 00:09:43,590
My new wife.
138
00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,030
And my current wife.
139
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,310
Not happy, Craig.
140
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:56,890
Can we talk about this at home? No, we
will talk about this now.
141
00:09:57,350 --> 00:10:02,370
Listen to me. I forgave you. The farmer
wants a wife. We are not doing this
142
00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:09,140
again. Come on. And now from the
archives, it's Play School, 1958.
143
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:14,080
Oh, hello children, and welcome to Play
School.
144
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:17,120
Today, we're talking about car safety.
145
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:22,120
When you're an adult, like Bert and I,
you don't need to wear a seatbelt.
146
00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:27,380
They're mainly for beatniks and
foreigners, but children must be
147
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,200
Off you pop, Peggy.
148
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:35,560
Simply ask your mummy and daddy to strap
you to the front bumper.
149
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:43,160
That way, you'll have a better view of
any cows or horses that you might see
150
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:44,160
along the way.
151
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,720
There's one there.
152
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,220
Hi.
153
00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:55,220
Oh dear, the nuclear siren. Children,
when you hear that noise, it means the
154
00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:58,240
Ruskies are attacking and it's time to
duck for cover.
155
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,180
There we go. We're safe from the
hydrogen bomb now.
156
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:05,780
Goodbye, children.
157
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,600
Goodbye.
158
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:16,380
Today, the mysterious art of origami. No
one knows where origami was invented.
159
00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:17,660
Japan. What?
160
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,460
Origami comes from Japan.
161
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,380
That's not a real... That's a made -up
name.
162
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,780
Lord of the Rings book.
163
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:30,640
Oh, I'm a hobbit. I live in Hobbitsville
in Japan.
164
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,460
I used to live there. You used to live
there? Oh, did you find the ring?
165
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:36,720
Don't worry about it.
166
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:44,580
This mysterious art form of unknown
origin involves folding paper into
167
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:48,780
sculpture. So today, I'm going to be
making the Sydney Opera House.
168
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,740
You take a piece of paper here.
169
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,260
You fold this edge here.
170
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,820
You take this coin?
171
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,820
How or how?
172
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,440
If you'd been to Japan, you'd know how
to do it. No, no.
173
00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:22,180
Hey, I brought a little salad.
174
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:23,920
OMG.
175
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,860
Today it is Chloe's birthday.
176
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:30,140
Oh, sorry. Can we bleep that?
177
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:36,700
Good. It is Chloe's 26th birthday, so
the whole family is coming over for
178
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:37,700
dinner.
179
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:38,900
I'm dying.
180
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,180
Hey, you guys.
181
00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:48,440
I just brought a little salad, too. I'm
literally dying.
182
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,560
Hey, you guys.
183
00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:54,180
Northy wanted to bring a little salad.
184
00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:55,740
Isn't that cute?
185
00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:57,260
Oh, cute.
186
00:12:58,660 --> 00:12:59,660
I'm dead.
187
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:04,580
Flo, you spilled your salad.
188
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:06,040
Thank you.
189
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:07,880
Flo.
190
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,780
Flo. Marco.
191
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,260
Flo. Coco.
192
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,840
At least she died doing what she loved.
Totally.
193
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,440
Choking on salad.
194
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,060
Do you know you lose weight when you
die?
195
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:27,820
Some say it's a fault.
196
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,660
It's so simple, anyone can do it.
197
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:39,480
You take a piece of paper, and you make
one simple fault, and you make a second
198
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,280
simple fault.
199
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:46,260
Then... If you'd been to Japan, you'd...
Shut up! All right.
200
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:49,180
Yeah!
201
00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:55,650
And there you have it.
202
00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:59,330
A simple origami Sydney Harbour Bridge.
203
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,710
We could do a recycling one as well.
204
00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:19,290
Well, block it.
205
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:25,840
Our Fresco week has been and gone. You
had $10 ,000 to create an outdoor
206
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:32,840
wonderland. So, let's start with... Babe
and babe, how did you spend
207
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:33,619
your day?
208
00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:39,660
Oh, we were like, actually, we're just
going to go to the Goldie. Yeah, it's
209
00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:41,640
sick, hey, it's so sick, yeah.
210
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,300
Three Park Superpass, brother.
211
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:47,620
Marilyn Monroe was there, she's like
there, she's like in the museum, like
212
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,440
whack. She's dead, man, but waxed.
213
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,840
Sorry, how's Marilyn there? No, because
she died in Pompeii and got frozen in
214
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,880
the wax, man. I don't believe that's 100
% accurate.
215
00:14:57,100 --> 00:15:01,320
It's so sick that you can shoot a gun in
a shopping centre. There's actually a
216
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,980
full -on shopping centre where there's
guns. Honestly, it's so sick.
217
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:10,100
And this place where you can go, it's
like a room, man, and when you're in it,
218
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,480
it's like you're inside the mind of God.
It's called Scooby -Doo Ride.
219
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:20,740
You can't ask that. Where viewers ask
provocative questions to Australians
220
00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:23,960
underrepresented groups, but all the
good ones have been done.
221
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,300
Stage mothers and daughters.
222
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,340
Come on through into the space and take
a seat.
223
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,380
You can just head on in normally, it's
fine. That is normal.
224
00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:37,580
It's normal for us.
225
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,960
Step it up, darling. Don't be nervous.
226
00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:41,180
Thank you. You're a professional.
227
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:45,660
Hello, my name is Kiki. I'm a dancer,
singer, and actor, a .k .a. a triple
228
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:51,580
threat. And my name is Amber Rose, and
I'm Kiki's mother, and I also am an
229
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:54,340
actress, dancer, and candle maker.
230
00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:56,420
So here comes our first question.
231
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,120
Thank you. There'll be some fan
questions in here, I'm sure.
232
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:00,719
Okay. Okay.
233
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:01,720
Oh, okay.
234
00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:06,560
It says, are you two sisters?
235
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,720
Everyone always says, are you sisters?
236
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,040
Are you sisters?
237
00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,940
And I say, no, that's my daughter.
238
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,300
I'm not sure that was the question.
239
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:20,080
Right. That's written. You sort of do
the question. Oh, yeah. It says, why are
240
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,080
you two dressed the same?
241
00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:23,020
Right. Well,
242
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:27,140
I think, Kiki, that's a question that
can only be answered through hip -hop.
243
00:16:49,579 --> 00:16:55,000
Out here in the leafy suburb of Plummers
Crack, Officer Brady has pulled over a
244
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,580
motorist who is on his last warning.
245
00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:00,400
All right, sir, how are we doing
tonight?
246
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:01,639
Yep.
247
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,420
Fantastic. Would you mind blowing into
this?
248
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:19,700
What's that?
249
00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:22,780
High score.
250
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:23,960
High score.
251
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:26,440
Yeah, that's high score.
252
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,760
Yeah, but unfortunately, on this
occasion, mate, a high score is not
253
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,759
good at all.
254
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,400
Think of drink driving more like golf.
255
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,300
Oh, golf.
256
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:37,620
Low score.
257
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:39,980
High score. Yeah.
258
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:48,840
Okay, class.
259
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,140
Hello, everyone. My name is Mr.
260
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,500
Normie. Whatever.
261
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:53,839
Hi, Mr.
262
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,080
Bormie. I'm Lena.
263
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:56,280
Sir, I'm Lana.
264
00:17:56,540 --> 00:17:57,800
Hello, Lena and Lana.
265
00:17:58,020 --> 00:17:59,620
It's a pleasure to meet you.
266
00:17:59,940 --> 00:18:01,520
Do you know what happened to our last
teacher, sir?
267
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,340
Mr. Riley was low -key cancelled.
268
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:04,640
Cancelled AF.
269
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:05,840
Someone found his old tweet.
270
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,140
They went nuts there.
271
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:11,160
Okay, well, I'm sure that he didn't
mean... Are you defending him, sir? Way
272
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,160
not say esche.
273
00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,040
You could be cancelled by association.
274
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,080
No, no, I didn't mean this. You should
apologise.
275
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,180
I'm sorry. Fake apology, mate. If you
don't film your apology in portrait mode
276
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,140
and live stream it immediately, it
didn't even happen.
277
00:18:24,380 --> 00:18:26,080
There was no receipts, literally.
278
00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:27,420
Okay.
279
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,980
Let's just take out our books.
280
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:31,780
Books? Cringe.
281
00:18:32,140 --> 00:18:33,140
Yikes.
282
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,400
Maybe you should resign before you get
cancelled.
283
00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:39,980
I'm not going to resign. I just
literally started today.
284
00:18:40,639 --> 00:18:41,639
Yes, question.
285
00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:42,740
What's your favourite minion?
286
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:45,340
I don't have a favourite minion. They
all look the same.
287
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:46,540
Oh, they all look the same?
288
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,240
Oh, they all look the same to you?
289
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,320
And finally, tonight on 60 Seconds, we
cross to our war correspondent.
290
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,180
Angelique, what's it like on the front
line?
291
00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:56,380
Well, it's not bad.
292
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,440
Really? Yes. Final thoughts?
293
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,320
Big yikes. That's a detailed breakdown
from Angelique. That's all the time we
294
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,400
have for you tonight. Good night.
295
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:17,860
Coming soon, the unstoppable excitement
of Underbelly Delivery Wars continues as
296
00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:24,220
we go inside to find a feed delivery
crew and their terrifying
297
00:19:24,220 --> 00:19:25,240
tag deck.
298
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,559
Oh, tell me.
299
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:27,560
There he is.
300
00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:29,780
What have you got there, mate? Burrito.
301
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,460
How much do you make a day? What, four
or five bucks?
302
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:36,699
If I'm lucky.
303
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,840
So how do you afford that?
304
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,660
Is your name Carol now, mate? Should I
call you Carol?
305
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:47,300
What is the number one rule about being
a delivery driver?
306
00:19:47,540 --> 00:19:49,480
It's don't get high on your own supply.
307
00:19:49,820 --> 00:19:53,480
It's just a burrito, man, I like. We're
pulling you from the Mexican joints.
308
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,760
It's your car.
309
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:58,380
It's for your own good. Tommy's days are
numbered.
310
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,380
Street justice will be served.
311
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,000
Underbelly Delivery Wars.
312
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,860
It's just what you ordered. I can quit
it!
313
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:53,760
Your squid.
314
00:20:56,580 --> 00:20:57,580
Sorry,
315
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,480
I thought the prize was the millions of
dollars you've been collecting in the
316
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,680
giant globe in the ceiling.
317
00:21:02,980 --> 00:21:07,660
Ah, I see what you've done there. No,
the money is the metaphor for the real
318
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:10,600
prize. Which is this squid.
319
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:13,480
I love the squid.
320
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,560
I also would have loved a million
dollars.
321
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:21,480
Just because I did. Oh, I betrayed so
many people. Two of them.
322
00:21:26,830 --> 00:21:27,830
She likes it.
323
00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:32,570
Stage mothers and daughters.
324
00:21:34,570 --> 00:21:36,970
Would you like a monologue? I could cry
on command.
325
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,650
I just bring up her dad and she'll just
start crying.
326
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:41,630
What's wrong with her dad? No need to
cry.
327
00:21:41,850 --> 00:21:43,650
Listen, he's not gone.
328
00:21:44,350 --> 00:21:47,310
He's just, you know, usually just like
in the lounge. He's not really into
329
00:21:47,310 --> 00:21:50,350
dancing. You mentioned before you were
raising your daughter as a feminist.
330
00:21:50,590 --> 00:21:55,050
I am. I'm raising young Kiki as a
feminist. A beautiful feminist. I mean,
331
00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:57,400
get me wrong. We're shaving her
underarms. A hot feminist.
332
00:21:57,740 --> 00:21:58,740
Actually,
333
00:21:59,180 --> 00:22:02,340
all the suffragettes were hot. That's
why the vote was a thing. The
334
00:22:02,340 --> 00:22:04,260
were hot. We've got to dance about the
suffragettes. We do.
335
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:05,500
Vote for women.
336
00:22:05,540 --> 00:22:06,540
Vote for women.
337
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,680
I want them to come and give me a vote,
please.
338
00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:11,300
Oh, give me a vote, sir.
339
00:22:11,660 --> 00:22:15,760
Oh, sir, why don't you let me have a
little say in what's going on in the
340
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,780
government, sir? This isn't working out.
341
00:22:18,260 --> 00:22:20,480
Wow, a man stopping the suffrage
movement.
342
00:22:39,220 --> 00:22:41,160
G'day, bargain hunters. Bevan here.
343
00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:47,840
Check this out. It might not look like
much, but this is a vase from the Ming
344
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:48,840
Dynasty.
345
00:22:49,460 --> 00:22:53,060
Now, the joker inside gave it to me for
$200.
346
00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:54,960
I've died and gone to...
347
00:22:57,390 --> 00:22:58,410
Come on. Here we go.
348
00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:09,270
Hot deals.
349
00:23:09,610 --> 00:23:10,690
Welcome to Hot Deals.
350
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:14,370
Today, consider us your technology super
center.
351
00:23:14,570 --> 00:23:17,210
We have got a very sick deal for you
today.
352
00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:18,689
Yeah, man.
353
00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:19,890
We're selling an iPhone.
354
00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:25,330
Cracked. Don't even worry about it,
brother. It's cracked, but it still
355
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:26,570
No, no.
356
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,580
You pick us up second -hand for a deal
and we're passing the bargains on to
357
00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:31,499
the customer.
358
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:35,600
Yeah, it's locked, Bart. Yeah, but the
code has four numbers long, so you play
359
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,140
the game of crack the code.
360
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,380
One in four chance to get it right.
361
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:40,640
It's only 50 bucks.
362
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:47,260
You unlock it, you can call anyone you
want. Call up, like, old mate or just a
363
00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:50,020
rando. Yeah, what time is it?
364
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:51,700
You do your prank calls, funny.
365
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,200
Prank calls, man. Remember prank calls?
366
00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:56,680
Suffice to say, this is...
367
00:23:56,910 --> 00:24:00,830
A lifetime of entertainment that fits in
your pocket. It's 50 bucks.
368
00:24:01,230 --> 00:24:05,450
Yeah, 50 bucks. And as we always say,
don't turn the clock.
369
00:24:07,410 --> 00:24:08,410
It's...
370
00:24:24,670 --> 00:24:29,950
8am at triple zero HQ and operator Phil
is quick on the phones.
371
00:24:30,270 --> 00:24:31,310
I wake up with today.
372
00:24:33,110 --> 00:24:35,470
Sorry, I'm waiting for another call.
373
00:24:37,390 --> 00:24:38,690
I wake up with today.
374
00:24:39,390 --> 00:24:45,970
I wake up with today.
375
00:24:50,290 --> 00:24:51,570
Can't pin this on me.
376
00:24:52,010 --> 00:24:53,270
I didn't do anything.
377
00:24:53,470 --> 00:24:54,429
Oh, really?
378
00:24:54,430 --> 00:24:57,730
Detective Gunn here can place you at the
crime scene minutes before it happens.
379
00:24:57,910 --> 00:24:59,050
It's a stitch -up.
380
00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:00,910
You've had it in for me for years.
381
00:25:01,170 --> 00:25:02,170
How do you explain this?
382
00:25:03,470 --> 00:25:05,050
Lots of people carry knives.
383
00:25:05,250 --> 00:25:06,250
Oh, really?
384
00:25:06,330 --> 00:25:07,370
Knives that look like this?
385
00:25:08,270 --> 00:25:09,270
Could be anything.
386
00:25:09,470 --> 00:25:12,590
It's going to be a lot easier for you,
mate, in the long run, if you just come
387
00:25:12,590 --> 00:25:13,590
clean.
388
00:25:14,990 --> 00:25:15,990
Right.
389
00:25:16,190 --> 00:25:18,190
I ate your stupid lasagna.
390
00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:19,590
You satisfied?
391
00:25:20,690 --> 00:25:22,030
There's a reason, Detective.
392
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:27,020
then we put our names on the food in the
staff fridge. I was really looking
393
00:25:27,020 --> 00:25:28,320
forward to that, Martin.
394
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,680
I was really looking forward to it. I've
even made a little side salad, Martin.
395
00:25:32,820 --> 00:25:34,920
What am I going to have a little side
salad with now?
396
00:25:35,180 --> 00:25:37,320
Well, a side salad can be a meal in and
of itself.
397
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,880
You just add some croutons.
398
00:25:41,700 --> 00:25:42,700
He's not wrong.
399
00:25:43,780 --> 00:25:46,480
Well, get me some croutons, Martin. I'll
go to the shop and get you some
400
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,480
croutons. Do you want anything?
401
00:25:47,660 --> 00:25:48,379
Fizzy drink.
402
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,380
Fizzy drink.
403
00:26:04,010 --> 00:26:05,010
G'day, bargain hunters.
404
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:08,430
Bevan here. What time is it? It's
bargain o 'clock.
405
00:26:08,630 --> 00:26:10,630
Check out this beautiful piece.
406
00:26:10,930 --> 00:26:17,570
It's an exquisite clock made by
artisanal clockmaker Franz Bachmann
407
00:26:17,570 --> 00:26:20,030
years ago. That's why we're wearing the
gloves.
408
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:24,150
Still tells beautiful time, though. I
mean, check out my watch.
409
00:26:34,220 --> 00:26:37,920
Thank you, Kiki. And what have you
cooked for us today?
410
00:26:38,820 --> 00:26:43,020
I have cooked shepherd's pie.
411
00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:51,680
It's a pie that shepherds eat, because
even shepherds...
412
00:27:01,700 --> 00:27:04,700
Okay, can you tell us a little bit about
what you've prepared? Smile, sweetie.
413
00:27:05,340 --> 00:27:06,440
Chest and chompers out.
414
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,840
Chest to the chompers. It's all about
chest and chompers.
415
00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:12,260
This is quite a sloppy job.
416
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,800
Just tell us how you used your eight
hours of preparation time, please.
417
00:27:16,540 --> 00:27:19,900
Well, I did 40 minutes of stretching and
in pro to loosen up, I did a vocal
418
00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:22,600
intensive warm -up. Well, I don't think
you used your time very effectively. I'm
419
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,180
sorry, what did you just say to my
daughter?
420
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,680
At the end of the day, she's made a mess
of this, which is why...
421
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,080
Kiki, I'm sorry, but it's time to go
home.
422
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:39,300
Sad, sad. Wait in the car, sweetie. Wait
in the car. That's sad. That is sad.
423
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,060
It's my time to shine.
424
00:27:42,740 --> 00:27:48,140
Who wants to see a shoulder from mommy?
It's for free. Who wants a little treat
425
00:27:48,140 --> 00:27:51,260
from me? I can make you something sweet.
426
00:28:04,110 --> 00:28:05,110
Seal of Urgot.
427
00:28:05,530 --> 00:28:07,010
Oh, ancient stone.
428
00:28:08,570 --> 00:28:09,850
Reveal your message.
429
00:28:14,910 --> 00:28:16,650
D -17.
430
00:28:17,410 --> 00:28:18,610
What does that mean?
431
00:28:18,850 --> 00:28:22,590
D -17, D -17, that's my apple ticket.
That's my apple one.
432
00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:27,250
Are you saying that parchment has the
power to bestow its owner with a tray of
433
00:28:27,250 --> 00:28:28,610
delicacies? Yes.
434
00:28:28,850 --> 00:28:30,810
Where can I procure such a parchment?
435
00:28:31,010 --> 00:28:32,310
Ah, well, just ask Barry.
436
00:28:32,630 --> 00:28:34,110
Ten dollars. or three for five?
437
00:28:34,430 --> 00:28:37,790
Money goes towards fixing the club,
doesn't it? I don't have my wallet. Will
438
00:28:37,790 --> 00:28:41,990
take this hammer? It's magic. The club
could do with another tool around here.
439
00:28:42,070 --> 00:28:43,070
All right.
440
00:28:43,630 --> 00:28:45,370
Here you go. Time for another spin.
441
00:28:45,590 --> 00:28:46,590
All right.
442
00:28:47,270 --> 00:28:48,270
Don't hurt your back, Barry.
443
00:28:48,370 --> 00:28:50,970
Thank you, young man.
444
00:28:53,590 --> 00:28:55,490
F44. Ah, damn it!
445
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:04,380
Can I have, like, one of the chops?
446
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:06,880
You can have a chop. Come on, Paul.
447
00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:08,620
Thank you. I'll give you a chop.
448
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:11,720
People of Earth.
449
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,960
I am the supervillain, Dr.
450
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:17,480
Armageddon.
451
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,200
If you are not afraid, I suggest you...
452
00:29:38,030 --> 00:29:42,590
from the f***ing carousel when you're
waiting for your bag.
453
00:29:42,830 --> 00:29:47,310
It won't make your bag come out any
faster. It'll just stop everyone else
454
00:29:47,310 --> 00:29:52,630
spotting theirs because you're in the
way like some sort of meat barricade.
455
00:29:52,630 --> 00:29:57,670
next time I see someone do this, I will
destroy the entire country of Belgium.
456
00:30:12,170 --> 00:30:13,430
look like a doggy or something.
457
00:30:15,470 --> 00:30:16,470
That's cool.
458
00:30:32,670 --> 00:30:38,930
At triple zero HQ, operator Phil is the
first port of call for emergency.
459
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:41,620
I'm at the services, Phil speaking.
460
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:46,480
Hello. Hello, I don't have a lot of
time. Hi. I'm on a bus and... What?
461
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:52,220
Yeah, can you speak up? I can't speak
up. I'm on a bus and someone has
462
00:30:52,220 --> 00:30:53,280
it. Oh, my God.
463
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:57,460
Yes. They've hijacked the bus and
they're... You're in speed.
464
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,860
Have you seen speed? Because you are in
a speed right now.
465
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,560
I guess it is just a bit like speed.
Yeah.
466
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:06,740
You're in a speed, dude.
467
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,279
That's awesome.
468
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:09,920
Hey, can you say yippee -ki -yay?
469
00:31:11,590 --> 00:31:12,670
That's from Die Hard.
470
00:31:14,050 --> 00:31:18,690
No, Greg Speed says it to the bad guy
before he kicks him off the bus in
471
00:31:18,790 --> 00:31:23,910
Whatever. Listen, there are two...
Sorry, do you think the main character
472
00:31:23,910 --> 00:31:25,930
Speed is called Greg Speed?
473
00:31:26,670 --> 00:31:28,550
Yeah, that's why it's called Speed.
474
00:31:28,790 --> 00:31:29,790
Hello?
475
00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:45,270
It is from Die Hard.
476
00:31:47,330 --> 00:31:52,130
And that is how one plucky murderer
thung his way out of jail.
477
00:31:52,430 --> 00:31:57,030
Amazing. Next, we're crossing live to
Town Hall where Adam Spinks is about to
478
00:31:57,030 --> 00:31:58,730
address the media. Let's hear from Adam.
479
00:32:01,150 --> 00:32:04,730
OK, we might get started. I'm going to
read a brief statement before opening up
480
00:32:04,730 --> 00:32:05,730
for questions.
481
00:32:06,700 --> 00:32:10,480
I wanted to address the rumour that has
been circulating since Jack's sleepover
482
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:14,500
party last weekend that I allegedly said
that my dad could beat up Tristan's
483
00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,740
dad. This has been wildly manipulated.
484
00:32:17,620 --> 00:32:21,760
I may have told Tristan that my dad was
stronger than his dad, but at no time
485
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:25,580
did I say that he could or would beat
him up. Is it true your dad is going to
486
00:32:25,580 --> 00:32:26,720
fight Tristan's dad?
487
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,600
There's nothing to suggest that this
time, no.
488
00:32:29,940 --> 00:32:32,700
Do you believe your dad could beat up
Tristan's dad?
489
00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:38,060
Definitely stronger than his.
490
00:32:38,260 --> 00:32:40,540
Would Jack agree with any of Jack's
birthdays?
491
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,080
I'll let you decide that one.
492
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:47,540
Is it true that you also said your
uncle, quote, works at Nintendo and is
493
00:32:47,540 --> 00:32:49,380
you a special Nintendo... OK.
494
00:32:50,100 --> 00:32:55,040
So, we've addressed this false remark
multiple times. If you can't respect
495
00:32:55,180 --> 00:32:56,099
then we're done.
496
00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:57,100
Yeah, one more question.
497
00:32:57,540 --> 00:32:58,780
What's the strongest dinosaur?
498
00:33:06,889 --> 00:33:08,810
This is murder on the border.
499
00:33:10,970 --> 00:33:13,190
Detective, they found him an hour ago.
500
00:33:14,770 --> 00:33:16,290
Do we have a time of death?
501
00:33:16,730 --> 00:33:19,230
Judging by the smell, he's been here at
least a week.
502
00:33:19,870 --> 00:33:20,890
God, the puncher.
503
00:33:21,390 --> 00:33:23,630
Sorry, detective, it's just my sister, I
mean.
504
00:33:23,910 --> 00:33:25,130
Fermented fish delicacy.
505
00:33:25,530 --> 00:33:29,570
It smells like trash, it's true, but
there was no time for a proper
506
00:33:29,570 --> 00:33:31,910
dinner on account of the Christian
-Scandinavian murder.
507
00:33:32,630 --> 00:33:33,970
It's a nod from the killer.
508
00:33:34,250 --> 00:33:35,250
Is that sister, I mean?
509
00:33:35,660 --> 00:33:37,500
I will swap you some of my blitzkale.
510
00:33:37,820 --> 00:33:43,520
It is a lamb's head that has been left
to fester in a cup of toilet for ten
511
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:44,820
weeks, as we all know.
512
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:50,720
Starving? Yes, as well. I bought this
tendon urgent that gives us a
513
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:51,800
rancid decision.
514
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:58,160
Please, officers, these delicious
Scandinavian treats are getting in the
515
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,600
solving this grim slaying. How are we
supposed to solve this murder with you
516
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:05,100
flashing these delicious Scandinavian
delicacies in our face? Okay.
517
00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:06,500
Who wants a cheap sandwich?
518
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,860
Get this freak away from my crime scene.
519
00:34:14,679 --> 00:34:20,659
Of course, fire with my little eye.
520
00:34:20,980 --> 00:34:22,820
A great Aussie bargain.
521
00:34:23,420 --> 00:34:28,199
G'day, Bevan here. Check this out,
hunters. Pick this little regal teapot
522
00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:31,199
50 bucks. I reckon I can flip it for
300.
523
00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:32,639
Now that...
524
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,280
is a success story.
525
00:34:34,659 --> 00:34:38,000
And... Check this out.
526
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:43,400
Marbles. Oldest trick in the book, but
it's going to take a little bit more
527
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,600
that to get old Bevan down.
528
00:34:46,420 --> 00:34:49,820
Now, I'll be laughing all the way to the
bank.
529
00:35:05,230 --> 00:35:08,630
This is old Prime Minister's home for
four -year -olds.
530
00:35:11,010 --> 00:35:15,470
Our former PMs are painting self
-portraits with the children.
531
00:35:15,870 --> 00:35:18,010
All right, let's check out everybody's
portraits.
532
00:35:19,130 --> 00:35:23,050
Ah, beautiful, Skylar. And I love that
you've included the yellow sun.
533
00:35:23,710 --> 00:35:26,170
That is really good, Kevin.
534
00:35:26,850 --> 00:35:30,250
Here I am as a typical Aussie bloke.
535
00:35:30,530 --> 00:35:33,590
Kevin suffers from delusions of
grandeur.
536
00:35:36,140 --> 00:35:40,360
Tony, you know they're supposed to be
self -portraits. I must have forgotten.
537
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,460
This isn't a painting of me.
538
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:47,620
Obviously, I am a human man.
539
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,660
And Malcolm hasn't even started.
540
00:35:53,020 --> 00:35:57,400
I was just about to commence my tasteful
self -representation when I got
541
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,540
involved in a fascinating conversation
with this fine fellow in the window.
542
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:03,440
You're quite right.
543
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,440
If only we could have another
Renaissance.
544
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:07,280
Wouldn't it be wonderful for humanity?
545
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,020
Oh, Scott, that is not a painting of
you.
546
00:36:10,540 --> 00:36:12,360
Yes, it is. I did that.
547
00:36:12,580 --> 00:36:14,520
No, you just stole Scarlet's portrait.
548
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:19,980
Well, I'm only just finding out about
this now. And when I find out who's
549
00:36:19,980 --> 00:36:23,360
responsible, rest assured, Jenny and the
girls will issue a full apology.
550
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:39,920
The beach attracts all comers.
551
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,340
Not all of them are prepared for the
conditions.
552
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,220
Look there, Santa Claus, British
backpacker.
553
00:36:48,300 --> 00:36:50,420
He's walking on the sand in socks and
shoes.
554
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:51,840
It gets worse.
555
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,340
Rolled up chinos and a leather belt.
That's inhuman.
556
00:36:56,940 --> 00:37:00,020
Hang about, he's going to take off his
shirt. Hey, hey, don't look, don't...
557
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:24,340
Welcome to Millionaire Hot Feet. I'm
Eddie McGuire and let's meet our
558
00:37:24,340 --> 00:37:28,820
contestants. Competing for a million
dollars, we have Gary Barwell from
559
00:37:28,820 --> 00:37:33,940
Victoria. Gary is an engineer hoping to
reinvent himself during this television
560
00:37:33,940 --> 00:37:36,300
appearance by wearing a fedora.
561
00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:43,260
We're also joined by Lisa Lisa Pumpkin
Eater. Just kidding. Lisa hates pumpkin
562
00:37:43,260 --> 00:37:46,260
and specifically asked us not to bring
it up.
563
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:54,210
Alex Rawlings. is completing a PhD on
sarcasm, which we all think sounds
564
00:37:54,210 --> 00:37:55,210
amazing.
565
00:37:57,970 --> 00:38:03,250
Jim Kilroy is from Darwin and was told
repeatedly to wee before the show
566
00:38:03,250 --> 00:38:04,250
started.
567
00:38:05,470 --> 00:38:08,050
Didn't I say, go before we start?
568
00:38:08,270 --> 00:38:14,530
And finally, Leon Rice is a CSIRO
researcher who invented a cloak of
569
00:38:14,530 --> 00:38:16,750
invisibility. Give us a wave, Leon.
570
00:38:17,590 --> 00:38:18,710
It works.
571
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,160
There we go.
572
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,920
Okay, guys, the monster's nearly here.
How are we going to defeat it? I think
573
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:35,920
home alone him.
574
00:38:36,380 --> 00:38:40,980
Yeah, I'm talking paint tins and
thumbtacks on the stairs, the whole
575
00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:42,600
What if we goonies him?
576
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:47,280
Distract him with a series of gadgets
before we let greed be his undoing.
577
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:51,760
What about a combo? We hit him with the
Home Alone, and then a double Goonies,
578
00:38:51,860 --> 00:38:56,200
and then Ghostbusters with a twist,
followed by a reverse Karate Kid.
579
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,080
I think we back to the future him.
580
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:03,000
Back to future one, where we make out
with our moms and our dad comes and
581
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,780
punches him. Or back to future three,
where we punch him into manure and make
582
00:39:07,780 --> 00:39:10,800
out with our moms. I don't know any of
these references.
583
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:13,640
Ghost Dad!
584
00:39:19,790 --> 00:39:24,470
And now for the weather with our new
weatherman, Jeremy, who is already on
585
00:39:24,470 --> 00:39:25,448
last warning.
586
00:39:25,450 --> 00:39:26,450
Come on, Jez.
587
00:39:26,770 --> 00:39:27,770
Thanks, guys.
588
00:39:27,890 --> 00:39:31,950
Jeremy McGulligan here, and we are at
the Carnival of Flowers. And let me tell
589
00:39:31,950 --> 00:39:33,190
you, it's exciting times.
590
00:39:33,470 --> 00:39:35,990
It's absolutely crazy down here.
591
00:39:37,550 --> 00:39:41,330
Admittedly, there's not a whole Carnival
of Flowers. It's more of a small
592
00:39:41,330 --> 00:39:42,490
sprinkling of flowers.
593
00:39:43,530 --> 00:39:49,010
Okay, well, we do have it here that the
Carnival of Flowers was last week.
594
00:39:49,580 --> 00:39:54,060
That explains why there was no sort of
gates or official signage or hardly any
595
00:39:54,060 --> 00:39:55,360
punters or hardly any flowers.
596
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,120
Why don't we just read the weather?
597
00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:59,500
I've lost the piece of paper that it was
on.
598
00:40:02,700 --> 00:40:08,600
All right. And coming up next, should
four -year -olds be allowed to carry
599
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:09,660
hunting knives?
600
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:13,020
We're going to speak to one expert who
thinks they shouldn't.
601
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:28,000
Well, the thing is, Miss Mabel, this is
one case we really think we need your
602
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,000
assistance with.
603
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:30,080
Oh?
604
00:40:30,420 --> 00:40:32,860
Miss Mabel, I'm afraid there's been a
murder.
605
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:34,460
Good heavens, a murder?
606
00:40:34,700 --> 00:40:36,680
That's right, Miss Mabel, a murder.
607
00:40:37,300 --> 00:40:42,360
Here in sleepy old Stabbington. I can
scarcely believe it. I grew up my whole
608
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:43,138
life here.
609
00:40:43,140 --> 00:40:45,400
Lived right around the corner on
Homicide Lane.
610
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:46,760
Never had a murder.
611
00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:49,920
Oh, indeed. I don't think there's ever
been a murder here before.
612
00:40:50,670 --> 00:40:54,110
Except for just after the war, when poor
old Father Croke was thrown from the
613
00:40:54,110 --> 00:40:55,990
roof of the church by his identical
twin.
614
00:40:56,290 --> 00:40:57,970
Well, except for that murder, yes.
615
00:40:58,170 --> 00:41:01,930
Or last summer, when poor Mr Kickbucket
was decapitated by this pudding bandit.
616
00:41:02,010 --> 00:41:06,290
Terrible business that, yeah, no good.
But apart from that, it's hard to
617
00:41:06,290 --> 00:41:10,030
we'd have a murder here in Stabbington.
Except for Butcher Johnson.
618
00:41:10,290 --> 00:41:12,370
Except for Butcher Johnson, obviously.
619
00:41:12,850 --> 00:41:16,850
I mean, he killed an entire rugby team
with nothing but a branch. Really good
620
00:41:16,850 --> 00:41:21,180
murdering, he was. But listen, here in
Stabbington, though. A murder, you know
621
00:41:21,180 --> 00:41:25,440
what I mean. Can you help us, Miss
Mabel? Well, there's another murder
622
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,280
for half three, but I suppose I can
squeeze you in.
623
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:29,620
Thank you, Miss Mabel.
624
00:41:30,700 --> 00:41:31,700
Shivvy Pete.
625
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:33,740
Forgot about Shivvy Pete.
626
00:41:34,020 --> 00:41:35,020
Oh, yeah, we need Shivvy.
627
00:41:52,230 --> 00:41:55,410
Obviously very old. A little bit old.
Not much use for these sort of things
628
00:41:55,410 --> 00:41:56,348
nowadays.
629
00:41:56,350 --> 00:41:59,350
I couldn't see you getting more than
$100.
630
00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:00,788
Oh, well.
631
00:42:00,790 --> 00:42:04,490
A little disappointing, but much in line
with what I was expecting.
632
00:42:05,090 --> 00:42:06,370
Now, shall we look at the bar?
633
00:42:06,810 --> 00:42:07,810
Yes.
634
00:42:08,450 --> 00:42:15,150
I think you'll be very... Yes, you will
be. People of Earth!
635
00:42:17,170 --> 00:42:19,430
I am the supervillain, Dr.
636
00:42:19,850 --> 00:42:20,850
Armageddon!
637
00:42:24,230 --> 00:42:31,050
I demand that the thing, that thing with
the bread type, what's it, Carol?
638
00:42:32,070 --> 00:42:33,750
What's that bread thing called?
639
00:42:34,030 --> 00:42:38,870
Nobody knows what it's called. But we
need to get rid of it. It's too flimsy.
640
00:42:38,870 --> 00:42:42,850
don't want people just holding the bag
over and then thinking that's fine. It's
641
00:42:42,850 --> 00:42:43,669
not fine.
642
00:42:43,670 --> 00:42:45,210
You have until midnight tonight.
643
00:42:45,530 --> 00:42:47,050
And I mean business, people.
644
00:42:48,790 --> 00:42:50,870
Did I just say people or people?
645
00:42:52,590 --> 00:42:53,950
We'll do one more.
646
00:42:54,670 --> 00:42:55,990
Now, this is live.
49380
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.