All language subtitles for We Interrupt This Broadcast s01e05

It's day 22, and we haven't even done
any, like, bug -eating challenges yet,

which is good, because, like, yuck, bugs
are gross. But, I don't know, I just

sort of thought when we came here, we'd
be eating more bugs.

There's bugs around here.

So, anyway, I found this bug on the
ground, but I don't know. I don't know

I... Do you, like, do you dare me to eat
it?

No. If you dare me, I'll do it, but I
don't want to. But if you dare me, I

Will I get, like, immunity if I do?

No.

Oh my god, did you just stare at me?

Should we get a medic?

You got any more bugs?

What are you?

We interrupt this broadcast.

Okay, girls, come on, give me
everything, everything.

Cute. Gorgeous, girls.

It's hot, so hot.

Cute. Okay, I already said that, sorry.

So today, me and my sisters are doing a
photo shoot based around body

positivity. As in, I am positive that my
body will look better than my sister's.

Work, work, work, work, work. Together,
come on. Kimberly, you are blocking

Kendall. Oh, sorry.

Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm sorry, Kendall.

You look too good.

Kim, I really wanted this to be all of
us sisters. They're all in it. She's

taller, so I think it just will be
better if she's back there.

For

cops,

RBTs are a lot like speed dating.

You meet a lot of new people.

There's plenty of alcohol involved and
they often sprint off the moment they

you.

This is a random breath test. When was
the last time you had something to

Oh, I would say 1984.

A while back.

Yep,

keep going.

Okay, there we go. Thank you, stop.

Yeah, mine is 50.

I didn't even know it could go that low.
That's sober. That is the most sober

I've ever seen anyone.

You're free.

I stole this car from Sister Margaret.

She's being a proper bitch.

She deserved it.

Oh, you're up there now.

Come on now, girls. All together, girls.
Good.

Rodrigo is our amazing photographer.

Ow, Kim, ow.

I'm a genius. Come on, it's so good.

But every girl needs a group of little
yucky nerds, a .k .a. the Photoshop

Can you make my elbows smaller?

No, no, like wider but smaller.

Okay, and you can hear my nail beds are
all wrong.

You need to fix my knee. Put, like, Dua
Lipa's knee on me. Okay, wait, why do I

have a shadow?

Mom! Kim has a shadow.

Kim has a shadow.

So we actually realized it's better and
more body positive to just

Photoshop our perfect bodies in later.

Kendall, you're in my life.

as we try to figure out who is mummy!

The Nile is a river.

So is the Murray.

I think it's Andy Murray.

I've already guessed every Australian I
know, so is it one of the guys from the

Geordie Shore?

We're sleeping on some massive clues
here. It is giving major Tina vibes.

Tina Turner.

I'm Tina Arena.

I reckon it's bloody Cleopatra.

Get off one of those cars. I can always
do stuff

on holidays. Walking tours, scuba
diving, cathedrals. I'm on holidays,

Well, here's a travel tip for you. These
foods are great for causing severe food

poisoning in an active and enthusiastic
travel partner.

Poultry can be left out of the fridge.

Blueberries are very prone to
contamination.

Eat up, darling. And don't forget the
miracle product that is...

So there you have it. Put the do stuff
part of your relationship out of action

and actually enjoy your holiday.

Oh, no.

Sounds like the Maritime Museum's off
the cards, babe.

You okay?

You'll be right.

Shake it off.

Ooh, sail.

Your Majesty, you'll be requiring this
today.

What's this infernal conception?

That's a pen, sir.

Ah, like I keep the servants in.

No. Someone in the kingdom has turned
100 years old, and by tradition you must

write them a birthday letter.

Ah.

How about you dictate, and I'll write it
for you.

Dear Horribly Old Woman. Her name is
Doris.

Dear Horribly Old Doris.

Well, I finally did it.

I'm king.

I think that broke up on her milestone,
sir.

Good point.

One hundred years.

Well, I imagine you haven't long left.

What rotten luck, being so baldly
ancient.

Chin -chin, King Charles.

And don't forget to put in my cool S.

I think we could work on tone.

You know what? Forget all this birthday
nonsense. Write me a royal decree.

Anyone who turns 99... Anyone who turns
99... It's beheading for them.

Tonight,

celebrities are pushed to their physical
and psychological limits by a very

shouty Englishman. This is SAS
Australia.

This will be the most extreme SAS
challenges yet.

We will simulate the escape.

In a hostage situation,

you'll pair up.

One leg will be tied to that of your
partner.

In his configuration, walking is
difficult.

But you will have to run.

Sorry, isn't that just a three -legged
race?

Yeah, it is. We used to do that in
primary school.

No, no, it's not a three -legged race.

Okay, okay.

This simulation will be of you
transporting a teammate who have had

blown off by a landmine.

Simply pick up your teammate by the
ankles, the wrists or the feet, and push

them as they walk with their hands
across the finish line.

That's a wheelbarrow race.

It's a simulation.

It looks fun, though. No, it's not funny
games!

It's not funny games!

It's a sim... How's this, then?

We will be simulating the transportation
of a highly unstable explosive.

How's that sound?

Does that sound like a laugh to you?

Now, this egg will simulate a crime's
grenade.

It is to be transported on this...

What? Back at 000 HQ, operator Graham is
calming

a distraught caller.

Okay, that's fine. Can you just stay
calm for me, please?

Yes. Okay, now.

Do you see any kind of display panel?
Anything with numbers on it at all? Yes,

can. Okay, great. You're doing great.

Now... Should I press? No, do not press
anything until I say so, okay?

I pressed it. Now it's just flashing.
It's 12 o 'clock. I think we have to

again. Mum, how do you expect me to help
you program the microwave if you won't

listen to me?

Oh, come on, darling. We almost had it.
No, I've got to go. I've got to get back

to work.

Hello, sorry to keep you holding.

So you were saying you were currently
being murdered, is that right?

And now from the archives, it's Play
School, 1958.

Today, we'll be talking about manners.

Imagine that you are on a train station
and a fella asks you for a light for his

pipe. Excuse me, my fellow gent, might I
trouble you for a light?

Well, that all depends.

Are you a foreigner?

Always ask if they are a foreigner. No,
I am not a foreigner.

Well then, I may avail you of a light
for your pot. Thank you, my good sir.

Do you see, boys and girls, that good
manners and vigilance cost nothing.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Well, tonight on 60 Seconds, Professor
Jackie Lismore has discovered that a

common product found in homes across
Australia is actually killing us. Isn't

that right, Professor?

Just nod your head or shake your head.
Quick, quick, quick. Come on. Well,

one is it?

It's kind of... Forget it. We're out of
time. Can you tell us what room it's in?

Kitchen. Great. That's great. That's
fantastic. Thank you, Professor Jackie.

Thanks for coming in and good night.

It's all killer, all filler on Lip
Island.

Romance is on everyone's lips as the
islanders send each other love letters.

Or at least attempt to.

Welcome

back

to Big Catch Barry.

How's the serenity?

Water at your feet.

Just taking it all in.

A couple of nibbles.

Oh, I got a bite! I got a bite! What is
it? Another trevally? No, a bull shark!

Oh, my God! Help! Help!

Get the food!

Someone wipe it off!

Help!

Here at NotFlix, we've burned through so
many comedians making stand -up

specials, we've outsourced this latest
one.

to Christmas crackers.

Thank you. And Aunty Helen's here to
call them out.

What did the fish say when he swam into
a wall?

Damn! Lock up the rosé and throw away
the key.

How does the moon get a haircut?

Eclipse it!

No, as in, like, lunar eclipse.

Wake up.

Critics are saying it's full of jokes,
so harmless they won't start a fight

your Uncle Gary. So what's white and
goes up?

Hey, keep it clean. A confused
snowflake. Jeez, Aunty Helen. This has

Christmas Crackers, and you guys have
been absolutely wham! It's the Christmas

Cracker Comedy Festival, only on Nodlet.

Well, man, they should fully call this,
like, Deal or No Deal, man, because this

is like...

Sick deal, eh?

Yeah, that's funny, man. Whoa, look.

Today I've got a sack full of car
badges, eh?

Look at these guys. Whoa.

Car badges, man. Full sack of them.
There's like 80s and whatever in there.

Check them out. You got them from the
internet there. Brand new fresh.

Yeah. Value, man.

50 bucks, whole bag.

50 bucks, that's pretty good for a bag,
eh?

Yeah, brother. This is a sick deal.

Remember... Don't tell the cops. Don't
tell the cops.

At

the

000 HQ, Graham is about to get a call
from a distressed commuter.

Hello? Yes, hello. What's your
emergency?

I'm on a train. It's broken down and a
lady's just gone into labour. She's

birth. Oh.

No, you don't want to do that on a
train. You need to go to hospital for

That's like a hospital thing. You can't
get to a hospital. The train is stuck.

Oh, that is wild.

Okay, I see it. I see the head.

Oh, don't describe it. Oh, yuck.

Just put me right off my burrito.

Speak to Mummy. I want a sitrep right
now. What's the status of the target?

Satellite has her locked, Chief. We've
got her in our sights.

Hook, line and sinker.

Eagle One, have you got eyes on the
target?

There's only one target in sight. Over.
Excellent. Eagle One, you are authorised

to move in and explode the target. Use
extreme force. It is authorised. Go, go,

go.

Sorry? I said go, go, go.

Explode the old woman. Eagle One.

Explode. We'll lay that order, Eagle
One.

Just hold on one second. Chief, we
cannot explode the old lady. Oh, no, we

actually have her on our flight, Deputy.

That is absolutely not the point. I
don't know how many times I have to say

this. We can't use lethal force.

This is a civilian who signed up to a
reality show.

Yeah, well, the reality show is called
Hunted, mate, isn't it? It's not called

Give Granny a Kiss on the Lips, is it?
No, that's a different show.

Tom, Sharon, thank you.

Thanks. Now, before we eat, as I always
say...

Bananas, please.

Bananas, please.

No, I can do it. Stop!

Blondes, please.

Crap up a meat.

Bon

appétit.

Bon appétit.

Squash the old lady. Repeat.

Do not squash the old lady. Cheek. We
cannot squash, smush, kablammo, splat,

anything, any of these contestants. This
is a game.

Well, it's a stupid game and I hate it.

No. No.

Can I have a nap or something?

Yes. Is that okay?

It's okay.

You're the one.

Bring, um, like a blankie, maybe?

People of Earth, I am the supervillain,
Dr.

Armageddon.

I will be picking out all the skull
bones of all the people of Earth with my

cranium tongs. It's very advanced tech,
unless my demands are met.

Someone come to my house and sort out my
Tupperware.

Seriously, it's just such a mess.

I don't know how they all fit together.

I'm trying to start doing meal prep, so
I need the Tupperware there, and I have

all the stew, and it's hot and ready to
go, and then I'm like, where's the lid?

Where's the lid?

I don't have a lid for this one. It
can't have just gone missing.

So please come round and Marie Kondo it
or something.

Marie, if you're listening, you could
come round and do it. But also, you

get rid of any of my skulls. They do
spark joy.

So someone sort it out, and I promise I
won't pick out your skull and put it in

a stew. Thank you.

Out on the highway at night, things can
get a little spooky.

Who's that?

I'm scared.

Hold me.

Everything alright there, officer?

Yes, do you know why I invited you here
tonight, sir?

Uh... No, because... Do you know why I
pulled you over tonight, sir?

No. Breathe into this.

That's a heart.

Yes, you positive.

You bring it, tell her the secret.

Tell her the secret and then I can
listen. Tell her the secret.

Tell her the secret.

Hello.

Oh, hello.

It works. Like I said, if I listen, I
can hear the station for where I live.

My flat's come undone. Wow.

Would you like me to give you a ride to
the station?

I've had a bit of a drink.

Yeah, I'll come with you.

I spare a few drives. Do you want to try
one of the passenger side doors?

Just get in because then we can go to my
house.

If you'd like to come round to the other
side, that'd be great.

Toot toot!

This is the hardest day of my life. I am
so sorry, Lucy.

I just... But, Lucy, you didn't get a
rose. You're out of

here. It's been an absolute honour to
have you in the mansion.

Give it up for Lucy!

What the hell?

Yeah, just hold that.

Alright, who left the Oshbot on my
finger?

and receive a rose.

Please, take your time. Just say
goodbye.

When you're on holidays there's nothing
better than laying out your towel by the

pool with a good book no matter how
trashy.

But wouldn't it be even more enjoyable
if your fellow guests couldn't judge you

for your reading choices?

That's why I always bring a spare cover
of a more impressive book.

Simply slip it over the books you
actually want to read and then relax,

people think you just find Russian
literature quite titillating.

Ooh, it was frostbitten.

Dear, oh dear.

How very Russian.

Your bank has flagged your account as
engaging in unusual and highly

transactions.

July 3rd, Michael Peters received $26.

The transaction description reads, for
your bum surgery.

Care to elaborate on the meaning behind
that transaction description?

Well, really, Mike had bought lunch and
I was transferring him my share of the

lunch and I just thought it would be
funny to write that in the description.

So am I to understand that none of the
funds transferred under that description

were in fact for the surgery of Mr.
Peter's bum?

No, it was just like a joke, you know, a
joke.

You laughing, detective?

No.

Well, I... July 23rd, transferred to
Jacinta Reid, $11 for

fart removal.

Ha, ha, ha!

That was for an Uber.

August 2nd, you sent $300 to Andrew
Costa for Class A drugs.

Another one of your little jokes, eh? Do
you know what the penalty is for lying

in your transaction descriptions?

Is it less than the penalty for
purchasing Class A drugs?

Considerably.

Then, yeah.

That was one of my goofs. That was just
a silly little joke.

Tonight... What's the deal with bugs?

Comedian Terry Seinfeld pushes the other
campers to breaking point with his

observations about Camp Live.

What's the deal with Strange Camp
Monster?

If I wanted to be woken up with blood
-curdling screams, I would have stayed

Manhattan.

It's a comedy about nothing in the
middle of nowhere.

What's with germs?

Everybody's got them, but you get too
many, and you got diarrhea.

Oh, no.

You stink, you stink, you stink, I
stink.

That's tonight in the jungle with I'm a
celebrity. I'm Jerry Sanford. This is

how I talk.

Tough crowd.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Go, let's go for it.

Situation report now.

We just bit the sandcastle. And look.

Bugger. It's coming in, troll. Okay.

to the main castle. Let's go, go, go.
What about me?

Pray for us.

Pray for us all.

Come on.

Oh,

sorry. Sorry.

Sorry, guys.

No, the tide's, um, yeah, tide's gone
out.

Good work, A -Trop.

Well done.

Good on you, mate.

Yeah, we made a difference today.

See, I thought perhaps today we might
practice opening things.

As the new king, you'll be required to
open galleries, schools, museums.

Can't we just give the servants the
keys?

Not literally open, declare them open.

It's very simple. Just follow the
instructions.

First, you must cut the ribbon.

Ah.

Henry V's sword. No, no, no.

Richard the Lionheart's battle axe. Sir,
no, these will do just fine.

What are these?

Scissors, sir.

Edward I's scissors.

Yes, the Edward I's scissors. Johnny
will.

I, Charles III, declare this horrid
little non -palace open.

Edward I's pictures are blunt.

I suppose they are 700 years old.

Here, let me see them.

No, you can't do that. I do that.

It's treason. God, God. No, sir, allow
me to retouch it for you.

Ah, William the Conqueror's stapler.

And I think it's the same for women all
across this media landscape. So I

conducted what I like to consider a
little experiment about gender

So I was in the same suit every day for
a year.

And do you know what?

Not a single person noticed.

Everybody noticed.

Absolutely everyone noticed it was
disgusting. I think it really highlights

double standards that are right. We had
seven crew members quit because of the

smell. Seven. Well, I think some of them
were sick, but this will give those

tabloid scribblers some pause for
thought.

You deserve some applause for just being
such an ally to women. What an ally.

Give it up, ladies.

Give it up for Trent.

I would like to order the, um, goodness,
it's too dark to read, uh, the fish.

Excellent. Now, I'm going to make a show
of not writing that down in my notepad.

I want you to spend the entire night
worrying whether I remember your order.

want to make our instant restaurant as
authentic as possible. But I do have a

question. I'm sorry, there's been a mix
-up with bookings. Now, we can sit you

at the bar, which has punishingly
uncomfortable stools, or at the communal

table, which is like a pig pen. I just
wanted a drink.

Well, that'll be $5 corkage.

We'll just have the water.

Still or sparkling. And don't forget,
whatever you say, I'll judge you either

way. Very authentic.

Still.

Cheap escape.

Well, I'm hungry and I want to leave,
which I think means you've absolutely

nailed the experience.

Très magnifique.

A truly authentic dining experience.

Now, I'm sorry to interrupt, but there
is another sitting, so we'll have to ask

you to leave.

Oh, and we don't accept good bills?
What?

We do accept it.

Bravo. Bravo.

Seriously,

you guys do need to leave. We've got
some people coming in right now.

It's all killer, all filler on Lip Oil.

It's bar day in the villa and Tiffany
gets ready to paint the town red and her

lips glossy.

And some girls can be tight -lipped
about their beauty secrets, but not

lovely lads.

And now it's time for What's in Your
Mouth?

Hello and welcome back to everybody's
favourite game show, What's in Your

Where we try to work out the question
that's on everybody's lips.

or possibly tucked away in their cheek
somewhere.

Our very first contestant is Tabitha.

Tabitha comes from Ballarat. She loves
unicorns, and her cheeks are not

that puffed out. Are they, Tabitha? So
for ten points, Tabitha, let's all

the question, what's in your mouth?

Nothing.

Incorrect, I'm afraid.

Dylan,

you also have something in your mouth.
I'm not sure what it is, but did

give it to you?

Can you tell me what's in your mouth?

Please, darling.

Oh, fine.

We're going to be like that, are we? No.
Oh, it's funny, isn't it? So funny.

You're all having a funny game.

Millie, what's in your mouth?

OK, well, this has been a delight. But
unfortunately, we are out of time. So if

you would like to know the answer to
tonight's show, please join me next week

we sift through the contents of a potty
for upwards of three hours.

Thank you so much, everybody. Good
night.

Blessings from the light of the seven.

And what shall you name the babe in your
belly? I shall name him after my

ancestor, Aegon the Conqueror. He shall
be Aegon, second of his name, ruler of

the seven kingdoms. I'm sorry, third of
his name.

My son is also named Aegon.

Well, fourth of his name, actually.

Your son is named Aemon, Rhaena. I'm
Rhaenys. I thought you were Daenerys. I

Daenerys. Daenerys Stormborn.

Mother of dragon. My God, we get it. We
know.

Just chill out. I don't know why you're
here, but just chill out. Who invited

you? I was invited.

Anyway, I'm just saying, couldn't you
name your baby anything else? How about

Brooklyn? Lovely.

Dallas? Or Felix? Or something cute like
that. Well, it's already his name,

isn't it? We've already named him,
haven't we? Okay, we've already got his

on a little blanket.

That says Algie. You say Algie,
Daenerys. I'm Rhaenys.

I am Daenerys, Breaker of Pain.

Lady who walked in fire that time. Shut
up!

Last week, we brought you the story of a
man accused of kidnapping an entire

Queensland family. We dubbed him Brian
Kidnapper of an entire Queensland family

crystal. We ran out of time before we
could tell you if the accusations were

faithless. This week, we've invited
Brian to clear his name. Well... That's

simply too many things. Well, that's all
the time we have for you. And I've got

to say, Brian, your silence speaks
absolute volumes, and not in a good way.

night from me and from Brian Kidnapper
of an entire Queensland family crystal.

Retiree's insurance.

Retiree's insurance or retiree's
insurance?

Ha! I'm Malcolm Turnbull. If you're over
55 and looking for insurance, retiree's

insurance is here to help.

Well, firstly, why haven't you got a
broker to take care of that kind of

so you can relax in the sunroom with
some foie gras, a glass of Sangiovese,

listen to Handel's Massage?

All right, I'll stick to the script.

If you are over 55 and on a pension,
retirees' insurance has competitive

Over 55 and on the pension, I was 61
when I became Prime Minister. I hadn't

given up.

Aren't pensioners people on Zimmer
frames who have gone gaga?

And if you have just turned 55, you'll
be working for the next 20 years. Mark

words.

Retirees insurance.

Check them out.

Good on you. Bye now.

Jesus.

Retirees. Yuck.

At this point in our journal, there are
just three masks remaining.

I can't hear a word you're saying. I'm
so sorry. We have to say goodbye.

Toilet, toilet.

I should turn around.

Stuck in bloody bachelor mode again.

It's F -A -N, Australia.

Today's task will teach you all about
resilience.

I was really excited about this
challenge.

And then I found out what it was.

One by one, you will be lowered into a
pit of lava that is molten rock at

1 ,200 degrees Celsius.

This will cause you to die.

No. I've always prided myself on being
really resilient, but when Ant said we

were going to be lowered into a pool of
lava until we were dead, I just really

hope I can hack that.

Are you ready for this?

I'm sure to do my kids proud.

Go die in some lava, number three.

There, you see all the skin?

Coming right off.

That's resilience, eh?

Resilience! Come on!

G'day, Bevan here.

And take a look at what I found.

It's a sovereign from the old days of
the... It's worth an absolute mint if

real. There's only one way to find that
out.

The old back molar trick.

I swallowed

that.

But I'm pretty sure it was real gold,
so...

We'll just wait six to eight hours for a
bank withdrawal and then we'll be ready

to cash in.

Let's go find some prune juice.

Come on.

Welcome to Fridgerton.

Isn't this lovely? The scent of the
lilac, the call of the thrush.

The butler has yoghurt in his dairy
compartment if you need it.

Bad, Mama.

Oh, right. How silly of me.

Now go and speak to your new suitor.

He's European.

More cake, Prince Mille.

And then perhaps we could take a turn
about the garden.

Planned obsolescence, you say?

How dreadful.

So, Lieselot, what are you doing here?

No, stop!

Hot deal.

Welcome back to Hot Deal Day.

You looking to get kicked this summer?
Yeah, you're looking for that beach pod,

you fat pig.

Don't call me fat pigs, man. Everyone's
just trying their best, eh? Sorry,

everybody. Sorry to you as well at home.
We've got an exercise bike for you.

Yeah, we've got a full exercise bike.
It's got, like, everything, like

handlebar, pedals.

It's got pedals. It's got yellow
colouring for maximum sight ability

night hours.

This has got 100 % resistance training.
You can't push the pedals.

But that's the point. It's hard. That's
the point. You can't push the pedals. It

makes you fit.

It's like a hundred bucks or whatever.

But this is training.

Call now and we'll send you this
complimentary mystery packet.

What's inside? It's a mystery.

No, that's going to change the mystery,
but it's ferret.

It's ferret's name.

Hot deer.

Call now. Hot deer.

People of Earth.

I am the supervillain, Dr.

Armageddon. I will destroy all life on
this pathetic

planet unless my demand is met.

My demand is, can someone please explain
to me how to fold a fitted sheet?

I've been at this for like two hours.
Each time it just looks worse than

It's just so grumpily.

You know what? I have no demands.

I was so mad that I've already melted
what remains of your polar ice caps.

Sorry. I'm just, I'm having a moment.

And now

it's time to make another Australian's
day a little brighter with an instant

$500 cash giveaway with Cassie the Cash
Kookaburra. Cha -ching. Here she is.

Okay, so we are calling Todd from Victor
Harbour. Ah, Victor Harbour, beautiful

part of South Australia there, close to
Goolwa.

Hello to all our friends down there. So
let's get Toddy on the old dog and bone.

All he has to do is answer before the
fifth ring.

Good luck, Tod.

Oh, that's one ring.

That's another ring.

Oh, no.

What's the phrase?

I'm all clammy for Cassie the cash
cooker bar's cash.

There's no phrase, and even if we had
one, it wouldn't be that.

OK, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie,
cookie, burra.

Let's all do the kookaburra dance.

Kookaburra!

Yep, that was it. Sure, you got it.

Who's this?

Well, we've lost him there, but not to
worry.

No, coming up next, the good, the bad
and the ugly as we tiptoe through my

on Tinder.

of two millionaire hot seat.

Competing for a million bucks tonight is
Dennis Jellicoe. Dennis is from Perth

and says he enjoys gaslighting people.

Molly Dodd has no sense of direction and
thought she was waiting in line for a

booth juice.

Marjorie Denham is a hypocrite who
promised she would never go on a quiz

Trevor Tucker owes me 100 bucks tonight,
and live on air, I'm going to punch him

in the stomach.

And Fred Tusk is a cobbler who suffers
from appalsophobia.

Give him a round of applause.

Well, it's time for the 60 seconds
mailbag. If you want to get in touch,

address is on the screen, and please
keep things concise.

Okay, what have we got? That's a long
time. Your unnecessary context.

Next!

Let's see what's here. Come on, come on,
come on.

Salutations? Just say hi.

You're not impressing anyone. Next.

Your show is guilty of defamation? Yeah,
well, you're guilty of being a

criminal. Come on, here we go. We are
running out of time. This is the last

and it just says jerks. Well, I cannot
put you on your brevity. Good night.

It's all killer, all filler on Left
Island.

It's Destiny with... For E's birthday.

And it's time to blow out some candles
on a cake nobody will eat.

it's near impossible getting that fishy
smell off your hands. But I have a

formula. What do you want?

Some ammonia, amyl nitrate, sodium
potassium bentoate, and a couple of

dollops of bleach.

Mix it all together and scrub your hands
vigorously for 15 minutes.

There you go.

If it stings a bit, you know it's
working.

And there you have it. No more fishy
smell.

Hey, you guys.

Hey.

Chloe, you don't have one.

A boyfriend?

No, I do.

No, an iced coffee. Why didn't you bring
it?

Oh.

So, I am seeing a new guy.

And he's sort of like a bad boy.

And today I'm so nervous because he's
finally going to meet my sisters.

And my mom, who thinks she's one of my
sisters.

It is true. I have chemically bonded
with your sister.

Cute. It is not cute. With this
coupling, I may further my influence

feeble -minded human race.

No, I meant your goggles are cute. Are
they McQueen? Oh, thank you.

I got them from Bailey Nelson.

Um, so, like, what's your name?

My name is Dr.

Armageddon. I am a living god, and my
wrath shall be the flame.

which burns humanity to cinders. You a
doctor?

You guys would have cute kids.

Only when the earth is destroyed and
become a barren wasteland shall my

material repopulate it.

Ooh, someone's clucky.

I don't want to ruin this for you, Coco,
but I have to protect my sisters.

I just feel like, why don't... You have
an iced coffee.

I do.

My iced coffee is the largest of them
all. It contains plutonium, the brain

serum extracted from a howler monkey,
and a few squirts of caramel syrup.

He's perfect.

Then I'll see you when you want.

And my current wife.

I forgave you for Farmer Wants a Wife.
We are not doing this again.

The show that'll have you choking with
laughter.

This dish was actually a tribute to my
great -aunt Gretchen. So, how did you

die? She choked on undercooked
asparagus.

The big new comedy where no show is
safe. You have 20 minutes to assemble

modular Swedish furniture.

Why won't it fit? Who took my allen key?
We need this done before my wife gets

home. What?

We interrupt this broadcast.

Tomorrow on 7 and 7 Plus.