Original subtitles

and the mall are gone for a whole weekend. It's time to party!

It is not time to party. If anything, Wilson not being here means we have to

work harder.

Do you have any more party poppers, though?

For later?

You guys don't get it. No bosses means we can do whatever we want.

You always do whatever you want. Okay, forget you two.

Darby, let's go nuts!

I'd love to go nuts, but... Ren's parents have gone away with all the

I'm watching their yoga studio and babysitting their Ren. They gave me a

list of do's and don'ts.

Actually, it's all don'ts.

Don't let Ren wear her roller skates. Don't let Ren get wet. I just saw her

roller skate into the fountain.

I gotta go.

Ren!

Well, I just decided how I'm gonna spend this managerless weekend. I am gonna

make the world's...

Largest albondiga, which is how you say meatball in Spanish.

And no one is going to stop me.

Were you going to stop him? No. Me neither.

You know, it does seem kind of irresponsible of Wilson to take all the

on a whitewater rafting trip at the same time.

I guess this is a good opportunity to show him we can handle running the

Yeah. We should completely redecorate.

Uh, no.

Wilson doesn't want to come back to any surprises.

I really want to do a good job. Me too.

Because I'm in charge.

You're in charge?

No, I'm in charge.

Stop saying what I'm saying.

You stop saying what I'm saying.

Can I talk now? Seriously?

The store is perfectly, evenly divided.

You can manage your half, and I will manage mine.

And when Wilson gets back, he can decide who ran their side better.

Excuse me. Can I pay for this comic?

Uh, sorry.

That's for Milo's half of the store. He's gonna have to help you. Huh?

Sorry. Ruby could help you, but we have different opinions on how the store

should be run, so we split it in half.

See, our owner... Forget it.

I'm just gonna help myself.

Out of the store.

Siri, I should just be running the whole store.

I mean, I've been here longer.

Exactly. You're stuck in the old ways. I have a new, fresh, young perspective.

We're the same age.

And I can come up with good new ideas.

I just fix that comic rack so it rotates.

I need to adjust the speed, but you get

the point.

What did you do? You move some displays around?

I redid our entire snack section.

I got rid of those tuna berry potato chips nobody but Hurley liked, and I

brought in yummy stuff.

Brought in a cotton candy machine.

Exactly. I put myself into the mind of the customer, and I thought, what do

customers like?

A fun sugar confection that resembles cotton and contains small amounts of

flavoring and food coloring.

Hey, what happened to the RoboPig action figure that was on there?

I don't know.

Nobody took it.

You and your fresh young manager perspective moved the display too close

door. And now your cotton candy lured some thief in a steal from us.

So you admit the cotton candy work.

Hey, Harley.

Are you really making the world's largest meatball? It's not a meatball.

albondiga. What's my process, you ask?

I didn't.

I'm using my abuela's recipe and multiplying all the ingredients by 10

Why, you ask? I still haven't asked anything.

So that my name will be written in the Book of World Records for eternity.

That's very cool, Harley.

Yep, very cool.

Can I play a game on my phone?

Sorry, but you maxed out your screen time limit for today.

Can I read my book, then?

Sure. Your parents put it in this mom bag with everything else they thought

might need.

There's a parachute in here?

Why would you need a parachute?

I guess it's better to have a parachute and not need it than to need a parachute

and not have it.

There it is.

You are reading a classic.

These eggs look like golf balls.

Yeah, confirmed. These eggs are golf balls.

That's super weird.

You know what else is weird? When we opened the yoga studio this morning,

exercise balls had been popped and some yoga mats were shredded.

Oh, don't like that.

And Olivia texted me earlier. Apparently when she opened Woogert, a bunch of

toppings were all over the floor and the peanut butter was missing.

I'm pretty confident. I know what's going on here.

The mall has ghosts.

I'm pretty confident. You don't know anything about anything.

Miss Wren?

Why is your classic novel beeping?

Hey! How did my phone get in there?

Cleaning, cleaning.

What am I doing? I'm cleaning.

keep sweeping your dirty junk onto my side?

Stop it.

You're trash.

Tis I, Arnold the Magnificent, and I have a quarrel to pick with thee.

No, with thee.

All right, Milo, hand over my interlocking rings.

I don't have those to hand over.

Enough of this charade.

My rings are missing, and I know how you like to pretend they're your, quote,

cosmic power bracelets, end quote.

That was one time, and I don't have them. And I suppose you don't have my

wand, which I am also missing.

You suppose correctly.

We'll see about that.

Kablam!

Ah, that was supposed to cause a cloud of smoke so I could sneak into the back

room undetected.

Look over there!

your cosmic power bracelets.

I mean, uh, interlocking rings.

Then how do you explain... this?

I have no idea how those got there. Or these doggy treats or the boxing glove.

have no idea where any of this stuff came from.

You know where this came from?

Warped! It's our stolen RoboPig! You're stealing from your own store?

The perfect crime.

Milo! As the person currently in charge of the north side of Warped, I have no

choice but to be extremely disappointed that you stole store property.

Ruby, come on. You know I wouldn't do something like this. Just admit it,

You were caught red -handed.

You know, my friend Margo from back home was once caught bread -handed. She

accidentally baked both of her hands into a loaf of marble rye. On the way to

school, two hungry eagles came and snatched her up and carried her to the

a cliff.

Luckily, she had a parachute with her.

She always says it's better to have a parachute and not need it than need a

parachute and not have it.

Olivia! And Carl from the sporting goods store.

Hey, Smilo. Ruby.

Hey, fart breath.

Ruby. So, Smilo, we just got a text from Arnold the Magnificent. That said, you

are a thief.

That boxing glove and the golf balls are from the sporting goods store.

Thief.

the missing jar of peanut butter from Woogert's. And it's empty.

I am not a thief.

And I don't even like peanut butter. There has to be a logical explanation.

Ruby's the thief.

Yeah, it's Ruby.

While that is a logical explanation, I prefer the theory that Milo is a thief.

Ruby. And clearly unfit to run a store.

I knew you were losers, but... Thieves, too?

I know this looks bad, but we didn't take any of the stuff.

Especially me.

I believe you, Smilo. Even if you are lying.

As an expert magician, I can get to the bottom of this by reading your mind.

You are a thief!

He is?

Whoa! How did he read your mind?

He didn't.

It's Darby.

She's watching the store for me, and she says that we need to come quick. It's

an emergency.

I knew she would receive that text.

How does he do it?

What's the emergency?

I got your text. Is it a ghost?

I knew it.

Does that look like a ghost to you?

I think we found our thief.

Little dude's got my missing ski goggles.

I bet it also took my magic wand.

In the tiny, untrained hands of a raccoon, the results could be

Wait, so the mall thief is a raccoon?

That raccoon has probably been crawling in all the vents to get in all the

stores. I think you all owe me and Ruby an apology.

I'm sorry.

That you're a loser.

Wait, that isn't just any raccoon.

are all the old warp snacks I was getting rid of last night.

I named her Bernadette.

Yeah, we assumed she didn't name herself that.

Huh, I was right. You did attract a thief.

I'm invoking my emergency managerial powers and hereby taking control of

Why would you feed a wild animal? It's your fault this sneaky little beady

monster is in our mall.

Easy the magnificent fart bite.

That could... can actually be quite affectionate and snuggly animals.

She's taking my tips.

Don't worry, Olivia.

Smilo's got this.

It's all about making sure you approach it in a calm yet commanding way.

Yes,

she got away.

Hey, Hurley, we're going to need all the pepperoni you... Oh, giant meatball.

Giant albondiga.

Impressive, right?

What do you need my pepperoni for? We're making raccoon traps.

Humane raccoon traps.

We're going to lure that dumpster rabbit into one of the traps by placing food

all over them all.

It was my idea.

Ruby's bad managering got us into this mess, but my good managering is going to

get us out of it. You're such a cute manager, Milo.

Not as cute of a manager as you are.

Okay, I think I speak for everyone when I say barf.

Anyways, once we trap Bernadette, we're going to take her to Raccoon Village.

It's an amazing raccoon sanctuary where she can roam free and be her little

raccoon self.

Now I want to barf.

Anyway, we got toppings from Woogert and cat food from the pet store.

And now we need some pepperoni.

Knock yourself out.

Hey, can I get that back when you're done with it?

But it's going to be all chewed up from the raccoon tea.

I've eaten worse.

I'm not going to high -five that.

He loves these tuna berry potato chips.

Hey, I see what you're doing.

You put the trap on your side of the store so Wilson thinks that you're the

who caught the raccoon.

Fine. We'll move the trap to the middle and we can be co -heroes.

I do like the sound of that.

Hopefully this trap will work.

Oh, it'll work. I can pretty much guarantee we'll catch that hungry little

rascal.

You were right.

Those disgusting chips worked.

Bernadette looks bigger in the net.

Oh, hey -o!

Thanks for putting up this cool tuna berry potato chip hammock.

No, can't seem to get out.

This was supposed to be our raccoon trap.

Oh, sorry.

I was up late guarding my albondigan.

I got hungry, and you know I'm a sucker for free floor food.

We got...

I did it! I caught Bernadette! You did?

That's great.

Bernadette?

Wait a minute. There are two raccoons?

Okay, you can be in charge.

All

the food traps

we laid out worked too well. We didn't just lure Bernadette, we attracted every

raccoon in the entire city.

It's not our fault we're so attractive.

fault too because the traps were his idea.

Isn't that great?

It's not great.

There are trash pandas everywhere.

Who's a good little mammal?

You are.

We have to do something about these raccoons before our bosses come back.

We're outnumbered. Let's just burn this place to the ground.

Technically, this place was built on their land.

We should give them all back to them. Then we can go back to work.

Yeah, I like my job.

The mall isn't going anywhere. We just need to think.

We made this mess.

Actually,

you made this mess.

Your idea made this mess worse.

Whatever. Now, we just need to work together to fix it. This is a huge

And huge problems always need an equally big solution.

Big?

Big? Like, big world record meatball?

for my albóndiga gigante.

Hurley, the only way.

We have to do something drastic to get rid of the raccoons.

Something gigante.

We're gonna put that on a truck, lure the raccoons to it, and then drive them

all to Raccoon Village where they can all roam free and be their little

selves.

This albóndiga's my life's work. You made it yesterday.

It's the right thing to do, Hurley, for the sake of them all.

I mean, what would your abuela say?

I don't know. Let me text her.

A boiler says I should sacrifice the world record and use the albondiga for

good. Yes!

Well, how are we going to get it out of here? It's too big to fit out the door.

But it will fit through the window.

I was going to say we should just cut it into smaller pieces

and take it out the door.

Oh, helpful suggestion now.

Critters will have a chance to keep this piece of history.

There.

We did it.

Now all we have to do is just make sure... Uh -oh.

Everybody run!

Okay.

Now we did it.

So now how are we going to get the raccoons here?

You already came up with the solution.

You remember your idea to lure customers?

Get into the mind of the customer?

That's what we're going to do. Although, instead of getting in the minds of

customers, we're going to get in the minds of wild raccoons.

Does this plan involve a lunch break?

I'm starving.

We just rolled up to the mall and across the parking lot. I really taste the

dirt.

A bunch of raccoons poked holes in all the waterbeds in the mattress store with

their claws.

Now it's like a lazy river up there.

This wasn't what I was thinking when I said get in the mind of the raccoon, but

I like it.

I'm going to talk to the raccoons and tell them to follow me to the truck.

I may have accidentally said something offensive.

because you have half an egg roll stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

Hey, can we just focus on the fact that I did it?

No, up you go.

Go get it!

Come on!

It's back.

Let's see if it still works.

Raccoon him, levitate him.

Oh, the stupid trash panda broke it.

Looks like you managed to save the day, Milo. Or should I say, co -managed.

Barf.

Well, I may not have broken the world record for world's largest albondigap,

this won't get my name in the record books.

I don't see anything.

It's the world's smallest albondigita.

moments like these that make it all worthwhile.

Well, we co -caused this problem, so we should be co -managers and clean up

before we get co -fired.

Maybe we should start by pulling up the tape.

I'm sorry if I got a little carried away with the whole being in charge thing.

Yeah, I may have gone a little overboard, too.

I think you'd be a great manager.

No, you.

something super random so we don't say the same thing pineapple cargo pants

celebrity chef guy uh guys sorry to interrupt but i

seem to be stuck in the net again hurley let's get him down