Original subtitles

Hate tests.

Waste of time. I flunked most exams in my former life.

I'm going to ask a series of questions to assess your predatory nature.

How original.

I say you're multiple choice.

You're here at Mansbridge to master your cravings.

So let's see if there's been any change.

If I flunk, do you send me home with a note from my mommy?

Imagine a beautiful night.

You're walking in the woods.

At your side is a woman.

A mortal.

Her features radiant in the moonlight.

Can you sense the experience?

I may be dead, but I'm not made of stone.

What do you feel?

I feel...

Closeness. A sharing.

Good.

Anything else?

I feel a warmth.

Impressive.

Is that all?

An urge to be closer.

Typical human response.

much closer.

Just what I said.

How much closer?

Told you everything.

How much closer?

What do you want from me?

When the great eclipse plunged the world into darkness, the vampire race erupted

in a civil war.

The bloodthirsty fury battled with the enlightened elders for domination of the

undead. In desperation, the elders gathered up those young vampires that

be saved and entrusted them to me.

To humanize them, to tame their instincts, and teach them how to live

mortal.

For a human, love and hate are opposites, capable of lifting or

soul.

For a vampire, love and hate only torment.

For in his world, they are often the same.

Field time.

Pass.

Biddy, nature's blood's perfect food. Sure.

warm and freshly sucked from a living body. Hey, so should we get team jackets

or t -shirts?

What? You and me, we're teammates, buddy.

Give me an F for flunkers.

I'm not on your team.

Hey, look.

Take it easy.

It's hard to change.

I've been a vampire for a year and I couldn't get back.

I've been a vampire for what? A hundred years?

That's no excuse.

Dear Dad, it was great getting your email.

Great. That's a laugh.

Dear Dad, it was nice getting your email.

Nice? There's dull and uninspiring for you.

Dear Dad.

How about, Dear Dad, thanks for the message.

As usual, it sucked, but I'm great.

Mansbridge Prison is wonderful.

Sleeping lot.

dreaming of a way to escape.

Sherry, I've got the most important thing we've got to do right now.

What?

The key to your true self.

A friendship test.

What could be more important than discovering how good a friend you really

We're the best.

Sure, but in a crisis, can we trust each other to be there 100 %?

Okay.

The first test of a true friendship is, one, being honest about her new hair

color, two, not spending more than three minutes on the phone with her

boyfriend, or three, loaning her $20 and never asking for it back.

Mimi, we have to study for our history test.

We need a break.

One, being honest about her new hair color.

Am I a true friend or what?

Come on, let's finish this test.

I could call the line Couture S.

Well, I tried, Van.

I could put it on the net.

Are you crazy?

We're supposed to keep a low profile here?

Oh, please, I'm not really the low profile type.

Plus, I can get you a part of the action.

I don't really have much fashion sense.

True, but you've got potential.

And what are we young ladies doing this evening?

Ah, we're playing dress -up, are we?

Cuddling human hopes and aspirations?

Well, well, well, what side of the coffin did you roll out of?

I am vampire pure and deep. I do not love, I crave, I do not feel, I lust.

What's that supposed to mean? You failed Murdoch's test.

Well, I guess you'll just have to wait till next term to become civilized.

It's only a test.

Well spoken, Merle, and hugely insightful.

Fine. All I'm saying is trust your own instincts.

Bear has instincts.

Wouldn't trust him in the same room with me.

I'm coming, master.

Your wish is my command.

I will do your bidding and destroy them all.

For a minute there, we were hoping the lobotomy worked.

Did he pass the test?

You see before you a kinder, gentler vampire. One who's crossed over from the

dark side to the softer.

Gray shades of evil.

Yes, I passed. With flying colors.

Bravo! I'm sure the test is rigged.

Said the sore loser.

What's with him?

Exam blues.

He flunked the test?

Oh, so sensitive, lovesick Drew turns out to be nothing more than a lecherous

predator of the night.

Number 21.

A true friend knows you're really hurting when...

One, you forgot your mascara.

Two, you forgot your wallet. Or three, she sees four empty cartons of double

chocolate ice cream on the floor.

That's easy.

All three.

Amazing. You're the perfect friend.

For you, I will slay the beast.

Sheesh. You look terrible.

I'm okay.

You're not eating. You haven't touched a drop in 24 hours.

So? So, it's getting dangerous, Drew.

Or have you forgotten your basic vampire physiology?

I'll eat when I'm hungry.

That's not how it works. After 36 hours, your brain will start dying, followed

by perceptual distortion, muscular paralysis, and even cumulating into a

that lasts for centuries.

Trying to scare me?

I'm doing my best.

Now get with the program.

And eat.

Dr. Murdock always posts the exam results before he goes to bed at night.

75%. That's one less nasty letter from my dad.

How'd you do? I can't look.

Oh, my God, Mimi, I don't believe it. What?

You're a genius, 92%. The assessments

are, overall, very encouraging.

We are making progress.

I say we celebrate with a party. Even invite the day schoolers. I mean, since

we're learning to behave ourselves.

A little premature, perhaps, but a nice thought.

What makes you think we can change completely?

What if this is as far as we can go?

Has any vampire ever made it?

I believe it's possible.

Based on what?

Some hunch by the elders who haven't made it themselves in 2 ,000 years.

You're the first ones to do the program. You will prove it's possible.

Well. If anybody's going all the way, it's Drew.

I'm betting on it.

What are you doing?

Hanging.

Well, I've come to tell you it's snack time.

Then I've told you I'm not hungry.

Whatever you're doing, stop it now.

Why don't you go back to your fashion designs? I don't need a watchdog, okay?

You're up to something, Drew, something dangerous, and I want to know what it

is.

Now, what's going on?

I'm fasting.

Yeah, no kidding. Why?

It's part of a test.

A test?

To prove I'm not a monster.

That I can be close to Sherry without... Would you let her go? Are you

completely nuts?

Look, I failed once.

To really connect with her.

Because I couldn't control these... Urges.

But I believe it's possible. I know it in my heart.

So where does the fasting part come in?

I need to be there.

Right beside her, completely vulnerable, unfed, unslept.

And no, I won't harm her.

And if you fail?

All right, if you're so dead set on doing this, you'll need a futari mei. A

what? A second.

A disgraced samurai warrior about to commit suicide always had a futari mei

standing behind him to slice off his head at the first sign of cowardice.

So you're saying if I lose control with Sherry... I'll cut off your head.

We're late for class. We gotta talk.

What's up?

Dr. Murdoch's doing an investigation.

On? Cheating on the last history exam.

So? So he's investigating Sandra, Jennifer, and me.

You?

Is that how you got 92 %?

What do you think?

Then you got nothing to worry about.

Right?

Right.

Jeez.

You know how Murdoch said he would hook us up to a sports network for my

exceptional progress? I mean, had I passed.

Well, anyways, I told him he should hook us up anyways because, you know, like

Sunday and pro football and beer and... Well, scratch the beer, but he wouldn't

budge.

Hey, pass the ball, buddy.

I'm not your buddy.

Fine. Keep playing solitaire, Drew.

Sunrise in ten minutes.

Sherry, can we talk?

Mimi, it's five in the morning.

I really need a friend right now.

Ah, the investigation.

Promise you won't get mad at me? Why would I?

See, Sandra, Jennifer, and I were really nervous about this exam.

I'm no history whiz.

Mimi, you didn't.

Let me finish.

So Jennifer had this idea to get some exams from Murdoch's files.

You cheated.

No.

Yes. I mean, I took the tests, but I didn't read them.

92%. Please, Sherry, believe me.

I studied really hard.

Now I know Murdoch will kill me for taking his papers.

And that's fair.

But you've got to tell him I didn't read them.

How do I know if you did or didn't?

You're my friend.

He'll believe you.

I can't.

A friend would stand up for me.

Friend wouldn't ask me to do something like this.

Time to eat!

Kutari May, remember?

Your second?

You seem to forget you had one.

You didn't cut off my head.

I will if you don't eat this time.

How'd you get out?

Dear old Marty.

Kept awake by indigestion.

Poor boy.

Bad case of blood poisoning.

I proved Murdoch wrong.

I passed the real test.

For now.

But two minutes together is not a lifetime.

Vampires are not devoid of free will.

Like mortals, they have choices.

The true test of any vampire or human is, have they made the right choice?

And the state they find themselves in is the ultimate answer.

I'll be with you in a moment.

Mimi, you are my best friend in the entire world, so if there's something

need me to say... No, I was so wrong to ask.

I'm sorry.

He'll believe me or he won't.

Mimi?