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1
00:00:04,501 --> 00:00:06,968
Hell, let's go.
2
00:00:06,968 --> 00:00:08,767
Oh, come on!
3
00:00:08,767 --> 00:00:10,634
Why are you yelling
at the toaster?
4
00:00:10,634 --> 00:00:12,033
Because it doesn't work.
5
00:00:12,033 --> 00:00:14,534
I mean the stupid little wires
barely even get red.
6
00:00:14,534 --> 00:00:16,133
Well, I've had it since college.
7
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:18,133
That's where I learned
if you put it on its side
8
00:00:18,133 --> 00:00:20,067
you can make grilled cheese.
9
00:00:20,067 --> 00:00:22,067
Honey, you don't even get toast,
10
00:00:22,067 --> 00:00:23,434
I mean all you get
is warm bread.
11
00:00:23,434 --> 00:00:26,067
This thing is ruining my life.
12
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:29,734
You are the exact right amount
of upset about this.
13
00:00:29,734 --> 00:00:31,367
Well, the blender motor
burned out,
14
00:00:31,367 --> 00:00:33,133
the microwave can't fit a pizza.
15
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,834
I mean, our stuff sucks.
16
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,167
We need new stuff.
17
00:00:36,167 --> 00:00:39,200
Well, new stuff's expensive.
18
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,467
Unless...
19
00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:42,400
Ooh, what? What?
20
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,067
Well, Audrey has been wanting
to throw us an engagement party.
21
00:00:45,067 --> 00:00:47,734
And we get lots of presents.
22
00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:48,968
Honey, we talked about this.
23
00:00:48,968 --> 00:00:51,067
I promised my parents
they could throw us a party
24
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:52,534
when we set a wedding date.
25
00:00:52,534 --> 00:00:53,834
Yeah, I mean,
I want the stuff,
26
00:00:53,834 --> 00:00:55,033
but we can't make our friends
27
00:00:55,033 --> 00:00:56,868
come to two
engagement parties.
28
00:00:56,868 --> 00:00:57,934
Well, that's true.
29
00:00:57,934 --> 00:01:00,467
Unless...
30
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:04,234
No.
Oh, d-don't stop, honey,
31
00:01:04,234 --> 00:01:06,701
you're on a roll.
32
00:01:06,701 --> 00:01:09,334
Well, we could consider
Audrey's party a practice party.
33
00:01:09,334 --> 00:01:11,000
Practice party?
Yeah.
34
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,133
We'd invite only co-workers
and acquaintances,
35
00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:16,267
people we wouldn't even invite
to the wedding.
36
00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:17,767
Yes, just to get
all the free stuff.
37
00:01:17,767 --> 00:01:19,567
Yeah.
Mm.
38
00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:21,934
You sexy little scam artist.
39
00:01:23,701 --> 00:01:25,734
Ah, you know,
that would be wrong.
40
00:01:25,734 --> 00:01:27,601
Ah, well, very wrong.
41
00:01:27,601 --> 00:01:29,634
It's too bad.
42
00:01:29,634 --> 00:01:31,300
Audrey would love to do it.
43
00:01:35,701 --> 00:01:38,033
Let's tell Audrey the good news.
Yeah.
44
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,968
Listen, Barb's gonna
be here any minute.
45
00:02:04,968 --> 00:02:06,167
How do I look?
46
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:09,801
Like the love child
of Siegfried and Roy.
47
00:02:09,801 --> 00:02:12,501
Do you think playing
the friend card
48
00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:14,133
while Barb's marriage
is on the rocks
49
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:16,133
is gonna pay off?
Bigtime.
50
00:02:16,133 --> 00:02:17,567
She's moving to Divorceville,
51
00:02:17,567 --> 00:02:18,901
where I happen to own a motel
52
00:02:18,901 --> 00:02:22,300
on the corner
of Hot and Desperate.
53
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,634
Why has fate created a world
54
00:02:24,634 --> 00:02:26,767
in which you and I
could end up related?
55
00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:28,167
I wouldn't worry about it, dude.
56
00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:30,634
I'm all about hittin' it
and quittin' it.
57
00:02:30,634 --> 00:02:33,534
Keep your pants on,
she's coming to see Audrey.
58
00:02:33,534 --> 00:02:36,200
Actually,
she's coming to see me,
59
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:40,000
so I believe the pants
will be ankle-adjacent.
60
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,601
That's my sister-in-law
you're talking about.
61
00:02:42,601 --> 00:02:43,634
Hmm.
62
00:02:43,634 --> 00:02:46,667
You hurt her,
I'll have to hurt you.
63
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,100
Understood.
64
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:51,834
I have it narrowed down
to two ways in which I'd do it.
65
00:02:51,834 --> 00:02:53,901
First--
Don't tell me,
66
00:02:53,901 --> 00:02:55,734
I wanna be surprised.
67
00:02:58,067 --> 00:02:59,701
Hello.
Hey.
68
00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,667
Hey. Hey, Russell.
Hi.
69
00:03:01,667 --> 00:03:03,300
Ooh.
Oh.
70
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,968
He didn't turn into a prince.
71
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:06,934
Anyway, Barb,
72
00:03:06,934 --> 00:03:08,300
what are you up to tonight?
73
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,968
Oh, I am sure Barbara
is too jet-lagged
74
00:03:09,968 --> 00:03:11,033
to go out with you, Russ.
75
00:03:11,033 --> 00:03:12,234
I'm ready to cut loose.
76
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,234
I am single
and ready to mingle.
77
00:03:14,234 --> 00:03:17,734
All right, I see my rhyming
lessons are paying off.
78
00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:21,067
So glad my world is crumbling.
79
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,767
Yeah, I'm gonna change..
80
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,367
Oh, I'll help you.
81
00:03:24,367 --> 00:03:25,701
Okay.
82
00:03:25,701 --> 00:03:27,567
Heh! I was kidding.
83
00:03:27,567 --> 00:03:29,334
You should've seen
the look on your face.
84
00:03:30,334 --> 00:03:31,334
How would you know?
85
00:03:31,334 --> 00:03:32,868
You don't look at my face.
86
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,234
Look, I know, you may
think you know her
87
00:03:36,234 --> 00:03:38,634
because of those flirty emails
you've been exchanging,
88
00:03:38,634 --> 00:03:42,200
but she is actually
in a very delicate state.
89
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,734
Well, I'm ready to hit the town
and throw some cocktails down.
90
00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:47,467
Ooh, my star pupil, excuse me.
91
00:03:57,567 --> 00:04:00,834
You know what would be great
at the engagement party?
92
00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:01,834
Theme drink,
93
00:04:01,834 --> 00:04:04,934
like a--
Like a Jen and Tonic.
94
00:04:04,934 --> 00:04:07,400
Or an Adam-tini.
Yeah.
95
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,868
Wait, could--? Could we not have
"Adam" and "teeny"
96
00:04:09,868 --> 00:04:12,100
in the same sentence?
97
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,667
Hey, you know what'd be
a cute drink?
98
00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:15,767
Beer.
99
00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:18,267
Come on, Jen,
I know a place
100
00:04:18,267 --> 00:04:19,934
where we can rent
a margarita machine.
101
00:04:19,934 --> 00:04:22,367
Oh, I know a bar named
the Margarita Machine.
102
00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:25,767
Ooh, that sounds better.
103
00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:28,100
Hey, so we're throwing you
an engagement party.
104
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:30,434
That's exciting.
Yeah, should be.
105
00:04:30,434 --> 00:04:32,767
Audrey's been offering to
throw you a party for months
106
00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:35,400
and you've always said no.
Why the sudden change of heart?
107
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:39,434
We just wanna celebrate
our love with our best friends.
108
00:04:39,434 --> 00:04:41,968
Best friends?
109
00:04:41,968 --> 00:04:43,367
I saw the guest list.
110
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,601
You invited the rich cat lady
down the hall.
111
00:04:45,601 --> 00:04:48,167
She's a good friend.
112
00:04:48,167 --> 00:04:49,801
What's her name?
113
00:04:49,801 --> 00:04:51,968
Mrs...
114
00:04:51,968 --> 00:04:54,133
Pussy Whiskers.
115
00:04:54,133 --> 00:04:57,767
What the hell
are you trying to pull?
116
00:04:57,767 --> 00:04:59,968
Nothing.
Don't play dumb with me.
117
00:04:59,968 --> 00:05:03,434
That's a game you can't win.
118
00:05:03,434 --> 00:05:06,133
All right, all right, we're
just in it for the presents.
119
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:08,234
Okay, we're registering
for a ton of stuff.
120
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:12,133
I want in.
121
00:05:12,133 --> 00:05:13,934
What?
122
00:05:13,934 --> 00:05:16,801
Yeah, let me register
for some stuff that I want.
123
00:05:16,801 --> 00:05:20,100
If you're gonna pull
a scam in my apartment,
124
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,300
the house should get a taste.
125
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:24,868
Gotta kick a little tribute
up to Paulie.
126
00:05:24,868 --> 00:05:27,501
All right, all right, fine,
fine. But no big-ticket items.
127
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:30,234
I don't think you're
in any position to make demands.
128
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,400
Mr. Teeny.
129
00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:40,200
This is so exciting.
130
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,701
My first pretzel
as a single woman.
131
00:05:42,701 --> 00:05:45,501
Guess you're enjoying your first
hangover as a single woman too?
132
00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:48,133
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry I crashed
so early last night.
133
00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:50,033
I haven't partied like that
in a long time.
134
00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:53,033
Did I really flash
the cab driver?
135
00:05:53,033 --> 00:05:55,467
Oh, yeah.
You saved us 20 bucks.
136
00:05:55,467 --> 00:05:58,767
Oh.
That's my girl.
137
00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:01,868
Whoa, look what I did
without even fake yawning first.
138
00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:05,234
Hey, mister, catch.
139
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,634
Oh, ha-ha!
Good throw.
140
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,367
There you go, buddy.
141
00:06:09,367 --> 00:06:11,267
I love kids.
142
00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:12,868
Anyway, I was thinking
maybe later--
143
00:06:12,868 --> 00:06:14,367
Catch.
144
00:06:14,367 --> 00:06:18,534
All right, that was fun.
Good game.
145
00:06:18,534 --> 00:06:20,501
Anyway--
Catch.
146
00:06:20,501 --> 00:06:22,667
Kid, it's over, okay?
Go deep.
147
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,501
Oh.
148
00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:29,434
Hey, um, you know, my whole
divorce thing with Rick
149
00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:30,734
would have been a lot harder
150
00:06:30,734 --> 00:06:34,033
if I didn't have you to
talk to, to make me laugh.
151
00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:37,868
Luckily, a lot of nice things
rhyme with "Rick".
152
00:06:39,167 --> 00:06:41,200
Now, seriously,
you're great.
153
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,200
You deserve to be happy.
154
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,300
Well, you're great too.
155
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,267
You deserve to be taller.
156
00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:50,000
Ha-ha-ha! Really?
157
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,534
That's cute, but guess what?
158
00:06:51,534 --> 00:06:53,667
You're the pretty one,
I'm the funny one.
159
00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:55,234
Got it? Okay.
160
00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:57,467
What's this?
Hm-hm.
161
00:06:57,467 --> 00:06:59,467
You need help
crossing the street?
162
00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:03,801
Oh-ho! Further proof
that I'm the funny one.
163
00:07:03,801 --> 00:07:05,767
Catch. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
164
00:07:05,767 --> 00:07:07,334
What? Come here!
165
00:07:12,467 --> 00:07:14,934
I mean, I can't wait to go to
the store and pick out presents.
166
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,234
It's gonna be like winning
167
00:07:16,234 --> 00:07:18,634
the Showcase Showdown
on The Price is Right.
168
00:07:18,634 --> 00:07:19,734
For me it's gonna be like
169
00:07:19,734 --> 00:07:21,934
stealing stuff
from the guy who won.
170
00:07:24,734 --> 00:07:27,701
You scoot over. Scoot.
171
00:07:27,701 --> 00:07:29,300
Well, I just had a very...
172
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:32,167
interesting day with Barb.
173
00:07:32,167 --> 00:07:35,267
What, she bought you
a Smurf-skinned jacket?
174
00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:39,267
I spent the day with Barb,
just hanging out,
175
00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:41,300
and there was no sex.
176
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:42,334
Can you believe it?
177
00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:45,334
Well, she is Audrey's sister.
178
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:46,501
This is all new to me.
179
00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:48,167
I didn't hit it,
180
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:51,200
yet I don't wanna quit it.
181
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:55,000
No, no, y-you might
be falling in love.
182
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,300
Oh, gross.
183
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:59,000
Yeah, you know, he may be right.
184
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,567
Isn't being in love where
you're forced to have sex
185
00:08:01,567 --> 00:08:04,367
with the same woman
for the rest of your life?
186
00:08:04,367 --> 00:08:05,801
Yeah.
187
00:08:05,801 --> 00:08:08,067
Sometimes not even her.
188
00:08:09,334 --> 00:08:10,634
Whoa, you just
didn't even see
189
00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:11,868
that hot girl walk by.
190
00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:13,601
What, I didn't?
191
00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:15,434
Holy crap, am I gay?
192
00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:23,734
Would you stop that?
193
00:08:23,734 --> 00:08:25,000
These are for registering.
194
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,734
Yeah, registering whup-ass
all over the bad guys.
195
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,200
You just registered
for a salad shooter.
196
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,467
It was either him or me.
197
00:08:33,467 --> 00:08:35,400
Come on.
198
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,901
Oh, which toaster should we get,
the two- or the four-slice?
199
00:08:37,901 --> 00:08:39,234
What about this six-slice one?
200
00:08:39,234 --> 00:08:41,634
When would we ever
need to make six?
201
00:08:41,634 --> 00:08:44,234
When it's my night
to cook dinner.
202
00:08:44,234 --> 00:08:45,334
Four is fine.
203
00:08:45,334 --> 00:08:47,667
Oh, what about
this bread maker?
204
00:08:47,667 --> 00:08:49,033
We're gonna make
our own bread?
205
00:08:49,033 --> 00:08:50,868
What are we, Amish?
206
00:08:50,868 --> 00:08:53,934
Ooh, but a pasta maker...
207
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:56,000
All right,
208
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,701
nice and easy,
put it back on the shelf.
209
00:08:58,701 --> 00:08:59,734
Why?
210
00:08:59,734 --> 00:09:02,133
No bread maker, no pasta maker.
211
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:03,634
Come on.
212
00:09:03,634 --> 00:09:06,200
Ha! It's ours.
213
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,801
I know what you're asking
yourself, punk.
214
00:09:09,801 --> 00:09:14,400
Did I register six times
or only five?
215
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,067
Say hello to my little friend.
216
00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:21,100
Yeah, I am en fuego
with this baby.
217
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:22,300
That's a sweet blender.
218
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,567
No, no, we wanted that,
you present sponge.
219
00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:26,400
It'll look fishy
if we ask for two.
220
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,534
Well, looks like a duel.
221
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:29,968
Five paces, turn and shoot.
222
00:09:29,968 --> 00:09:31,100
Whoever hits it gets it.
223
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,634
You're on.
224
00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:37,033
One, two, three--
225
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:40,067
Mine.
226
00:09:47,601 --> 00:09:51,701
Oh, these donut holes
are great.
227
00:09:51,701 --> 00:09:53,267
Those are profiteroles,
228
00:09:53,267 --> 00:09:54,934
and they're
for the engagement party.
229
00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:58,434
Were.
230
00:09:58,434 --> 00:09:59,934
Is Barb back yet?
231
00:09:59,934 --> 00:10:01,667
I don't think so.
But on that topic,
232
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,901
um, when a relative of yours
stays with us,
233
00:10:03,901 --> 00:10:07,133
you usually reward me.
234
00:10:07,133 --> 00:10:10,133
In this area.
235
00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:12,601
We already did it this month.
236
00:10:12,601 --> 00:10:14,801
That one began before
midnight on the 31st,
237
00:10:14,801 --> 00:10:17,634
so that sex was charged back
to the previous month.
238
00:10:17,634 --> 00:10:19,467
Goes by when it started,
239
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:21,968
not when it finishes.
240
00:10:21,968 --> 00:10:23,934
Hmm, good thing it doesn't
go by when I finish.
241
00:10:23,934 --> 00:10:26,400
Don't be a sore loser.
242
00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:30,501
Shall we?
243
00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:33,701
God, you...
244
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:37,167
Make it quick.
245
00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:39,601
As opposed to?
246
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,300
What was that?
247
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,601
Is that Barb? Is she home?
248
00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:47,234
Sounds like she's not alone.
249
00:10:47,234 --> 00:10:49,968
Oh, God, Russell?
250
00:10:49,968 --> 00:10:51,200
Why would he come here?
251
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,901
Why couldn't he just
go back to his place
252
00:10:52,901 --> 00:10:54,367
to have sex with my sister?
253
00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:56,367
What did I just say?
254
00:10:57,868 --> 00:10:59,701
Just block it out.
255
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,300
Unless it makes you hot.
256
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:04,701
Oh, it doesn't.
257
00:11:04,701 --> 00:11:05,701
Just close the door,
258
00:11:05,701 --> 00:11:07,200
close it.
259
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,501
Hey, dude.
260
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,734
I'm totally getting it on
with your roommate.
261
00:11:17,767 --> 00:11:20,167
Well, I have good news
and bad news.
262
00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:21,834
What's the good news?
263
00:11:21,834 --> 00:11:24,300
It's all bad news.
264
00:11:30,901 --> 00:11:32,934
I can't believe my sister
265
00:11:32,934 --> 00:11:34,868
brought home a strange guy
last night.
266
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:37,701
Yeah, he did look
a little skeevy.
267
00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:40,534
I'm checking to make sure
nothing's missing.
268
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,701
Is he still here?
269
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:46,467
I don't know. But my
Mr. Met bobblehead still is.
270
00:11:46,467 --> 00:11:48,868
Yeah, 'cause that's what
he would have stolen.
271
00:11:48,868 --> 00:11:50,834
You okay, little guy?
272
00:11:54,033 --> 00:11:55,968
Oh, morning.
273
00:11:55,968 --> 00:11:57,367
Good morning.
Good morning.
274
00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:59,100
Is, uh--?
Oh, no, no.
275
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,200
He left.
276
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,968
With anything?
277
00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:06,234
Just a big old smile
on his face.
278
00:12:06,234 --> 00:12:07,801
I'm out.
279
00:12:07,801 --> 00:12:10,234
Going down to the diner,
280
00:12:10,234 --> 00:12:12,434
and, uh, not be here anymore.
281
00:12:15,334 --> 00:12:17,234
Really, Barb
had a one-night stand?
282
00:12:17,234 --> 00:12:18,234
Yeah.
283
00:12:18,234 --> 00:12:21,434
Yeah, he looked like
that guy, um...
284
00:12:21,434 --> 00:12:24,234
Tommy Lee.
285
00:12:24,234 --> 00:12:28,067
Wow, I mean, and Russell doesn't
know, so, what are you gonna do?
286
00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:30,934
I think I'm going
fish and chips.
287
00:12:30,934 --> 00:12:33,000
No, no, I meant are you gonna
tell Russell,
288
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,400
or are you just gonna let him
get crushed by Barb?
289
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,434
I hadn't considered it.
290
00:12:37,434 --> 00:12:39,934
You know, sometimes it's good
to go over the pros and cons.
291
00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:41,300
Okay.
Okay.
292
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,200
Pro: If you tell him,
293
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,601
it can save him some pain
and disappointment.
294
00:12:45,601 --> 00:12:49,133
Con: If I tell him,
it'll be kind of awkward for me.
295
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:50,868
Pro: If you tell him,
296
00:12:50,868 --> 00:12:53,567
it could save Barb from
that uncomfortable conversation.
297
00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:55,601
Con: If I tell him
and he gets upset,
298
00:12:55,601 --> 00:12:58,267
that'll be
really awkward for me.
299
00:12:58,267 --> 00:13:00,834
Pro: If you tell him,
Audrey would appreciate
300
00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:04,234
that you saved her sister
from another emotional upheaval.
301
00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:05,667
Con: I don't wanna tell him.
302
00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:07,334
Um...
303
00:13:07,334 --> 00:13:09,400
I'm glad we worked that out.
304
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:13,133
Scoot over.
305
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:17,000
So as much as I didn't wanna
believe it,
306
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,968
I think you guys are right
about my feelings for Barb.
307
00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,334
Get this.
308
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:25,968
Today I held her hand without
guiding it towards anything.
309
00:13:25,968 --> 00:13:27,234
Hey,
310
00:13:27,234 --> 00:13:28,300
was she in a good mood
311
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,601
when she got home
from our date last night?
312
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,434
You have no idea.
313
00:13:33,901 --> 00:13:36,133
Come on,
I was having fun.
314
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:39,434
I mean, back in school
I was Miss Goody Two-Shoes.
315
00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:40,501
And you were--
316
00:13:40,501 --> 00:13:42,267
I, Miss Two-Shoes-
On-The-Dashboard-
317
00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:43,868
Of-My-Boyfriend's-Car, yeah.
318
00:13:43,868 --> 00:13:46,834
So you kind
of understand, right?
319
00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:49,167
Ha-ha! Yes.
320
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:52,200
Don't worry, last night
was only a one-time thing...
321
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,000
that I did three times.
322
00:13:56,267 --> 00:13:59,300
I hate to even ask, but if you
just wanted a one-night thing,
323
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:00,667
why not Russell?
324
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:03,100
Russell and I are
just good friends.
325
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:05,367
Oh, come on, that's the reason?
326
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:08,667
Not the wardrobe,
the smarminess,
327
00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:11,234
the man necklace?
328
00:14:11,234 --> 00:14:13,200
He actually
is a really sweet guy.
329
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,167
Maybe.
330
00:14:15,167 --> 00:14:18,067
But there's also
the snide laugh, the goatee,
331
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:20,734
the open shirt, the girl hair?
332
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,100
Oh, you know what? I--
I've got a list on my computer.
333
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,968
I'll just go print it out
for you.
334
00:14:30,234 --> 00:14:32,300
Look at this crowd.
We are gonna score every gift
335
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:33,801
we registered for.
336
00:14:33,801 --> 00:14:35,234
I know.
337
00:14:35,234 --> 00:14:38,033
But I don't recognize
a lot of these people.
338
00:14:38,033 --> 00:14:40,133
Neither do I.
339
00:14:40,133 --> 00:14:42,033
You know, I-- I sent
invitations to everyone
340
00:14:42,033 --> 00:14:43,801
on the office blood drive list.
341
00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:44,868
They're proven givers.
342
00:14:44,868 --> 00:14:46,901
Nice.
343
00:14:46,901 --> 00:14:48,133
I'm gonna go get a drink.
344
00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:49,367
Okay.
345
00:14:49,367 --> 00:14:50,667
Hey, buddy.
346
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:53,133
What's up, chief?
347
00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:54,701
What's up, Snoop?
348
00:14:58,367 --> 00:15:01,901
Ladies, may I offer you
something from the bar?
349
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,701
Thank you, Russell.
Oh, yeah, thanks.
350
00:15:03,701 --> 00:15:04,868
So is it just us,
351
00:15:04,868 --> 00:15:06,934
or are you trying to get
all the woman here drunk?
352
00:15:06,934 --> 00:15:09,901
Ha-ha-ha!
Oh, Audrey, you are a pip.
353
00:15:09,901 --> 00:15:12,067
Excuse me, Russell,
I am going to get a bite.
354
00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:14,100
Oh, how about
I give you a bite? Ar!
355
00:15:16,968 --> 00:15:20,801
I know,
aren't we an adorable couple?
356
00:15:20,801 --> 00:15:22,400
You know, I was thinking
of getting us
357
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,601
matching highlights.
358
00:15:28,367 --> 00:15:31,601
You're right, that's a bad idea,
it's stupid.
359
00:15:31,601 --> 00:15:33,601
Hey,
360
00:15:33,601 --> 00:15:35,968
why does Russell think that
he and Barbara are a couple?
361
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:39,033
Oh, turns out he has
serious feelings for her.
362
00:15:39,033 --> 00:15:41,000
He does?
363
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,467
Does he know about
her one-night stand?
364
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:44,934
No.
365
00:15:44,934 --> 00:15:48,601
Do these sound like
long-range walkie-talkies?
366
00:15:48,601 --> 00:15:51,067
How long have you known
that he felt like this?
367
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:52,267
A few days.
368
00:15:52,267 --> 00:15:53,968
Why didn't you
tell me right away?
369
00:15:53,968 --> 00:15:58,801
Well, I would've, but we didn't
have long-range walkie-talkies.
370
00:16:00,734 --> 00:16:03,234
Hey, we agreed we'd
open those together. No peeking.
371
00:16:03,234 --> 00:16:05,834
You got the back massager.
Awesome, what else?
372
00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:09,801
A toaster.
373
00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:11,100
Let's just say
we're no longer
374
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,901
gonna be placing
salad in a bowl,
375
00:16:12,901 --> 00:16:14,334
we're gonna be shooting it.
376
00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:17,067
We've executed
the perfect crime.
377
00:16:18,701 --> 00:16:21,234
We have to leave, but we wanted
to thank you for including us
378
00:16:21,234 --> 00:16:22,934
in your special day.
No, no,
379
00:16:22,934 --> 00:16:26,868
thank you for gracing us
with your presence.
380
00:16:26,868 --> 00:16:29,834
Well, Mike and I
are renewing our vows next week,
381
00:16:29,834 --> 00:16:31,267
and you'll be getting an invite.
382
00:16:31,267 --> 00:16:33,701
Oh, sure.
383
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,334
We're registered at Tiffany's.
384
00:16:38,334 --> 00:16:40,000
Renewing their vows?
385
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,367
What a lame excuse
for a party.
386
00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:44,267
They're scamming us right back.
387
00:16:44,267 --> 00:16:45,667
Now we have to get them
a gift.
388
00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:49,033
No, it's okay, we'll just...
389
00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:51,000
We'll give them
this talking scale.
390
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000
Um, no, I wouldn't--
Take it easy,
391
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,701
pretty boy, I'll tell you
if you're getting fat.
392
00:16:55,701 --> 00:16:57,167
Part of me wants to warn Russell
393
00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:58,868
and save him
the heartbreak,
394
00:16:58,868 --> 00:17:01,200
but part of me doesn't.
395
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,634
That's the old duality of man.
396
00:17:03,634 --> 00:17:05,667
Thank you, college.
397
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:08,167
Maybe this is just fate's way
of paying Russell back
398
00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:09,434
for the way
he treats women.
399
00:17:11,934 --> 00:17:14,834
I have no idea
why I'm doing this.
400
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:18,400
And you know, really,
who am I to argue with fate?
401
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,667
Maybe it's time Russell
got some of his own medicine.
402
00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:23,033
I should just sit back
and enjoy the show.
403
00:17:23,033 --> 00:17:25,200
I'm gonna go out here
and enjoy a beer.
404
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:28,133
See you
at my housewarming party.
405
00:17:28,133 --> 00:17:29,901
Wouldn't miss it
for the world,
406
00:17:29,901 --> 00:17:31,000
champ.
407
00:17:33,534 --> 00:17:35,501
That's like the third gift
we have to give now.
408
00:17:35,501 --> 00:17:37,067
Eighth, we got
a bunch more invites,
409
00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:38,434
including one for Rachel's dog.
410
00:17:38,434 --> 00:17:40,834
She's throwing him
a bark-mitzvah.
411
00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:41,934
Who's Rachel?
412
00:17:41,934 --> 00:17:43,133
I don't know.
413
00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:45,200
But her dog's getting
a shower massage.
414
00:17:47,701 --> 00:17:48,901
Hey, there you are.
415
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,667
Hm. What's up?
416
00:17:50,667 --> 00:17:53,200
Listen, uh,
417
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,634
I know
you're not my biggest fan.
418
00:17:55,634 --> 00:17:58,100
I just wanted to tell you that
my feelings for Barb are real.
419
00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,801
And I would never do anything
to hurt her.
420
00:18:00,734 --> 00:18:02,200
Oh, okay.
421
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,601
Okay, well, that took a lot
for me to say.
422
00:18:05,601 --> 00:18:07,667
I had to slam down
like five Jen and Tonics
423
00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:09,434
just to get that out.
424
00:18:09,434 --> 00:18:10,501
But I do care about her.
425
00:18:10,501 --> 00:18:13,234
And that's not just
the Jen talking.
426
00:18:13,234 --> 00:18:14,767
Uh-huh.
427
00:18:14,767 --> 00:18:16,300
Why are you looking me
in the eyes?
428
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,400
My boobs are down here.
429
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,434
Maybe Barb changed me.
430
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,000
Anyway, I'm gonna go tell her
what I just told you.
431
00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:27,701
Uh, Russell.
432
00:18:27,701 --> 00:18:29,834
Ah...Russell.
433
00:18:30,968 --> 00:18:33,801
Umm, I-I don't think
434
00:18:33,801 --> 00:18:35,868
you should tell Barb
how you feel.
435
00:18:35,868 --> 00:18:38,834
Oh, I know, it's lame, right?
But I gotta take a shot.
436
00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:41,667
N-no, um-- No, I don't think
you should tell her
437
00:18:41,667 --> 00:18:43,367
because she doesn't feel
the same way.
438
00:18:46,133 --> 00:18:47,567
How do you know that?
439
00:18:47,567 --> 00:18:50,467
Well, last night after your date
she brought home...
440
00:18:52,467 --> 00:18:53,534
a pint of ice cream.
441
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,300
And?
And--
442
00:18:57,300 --> 00:19:00,100
And, you know, she told me
443
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:03,267
that she would never ruin
her special friendship with you
444
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,133
by taking it any further.
445
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:11,000
You okay?
446
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,734
Oh, yeah. No, I just--
I wasn't listening.
447
00:19:13,734 --> 00:19:16,734
I was too busy checking out
the Twin-denburgs there.
448
00:19:16,734 --> 00:19:18,133
Oh, the humanity.
449
00:19:18,133 --> 00:19:21,100
Look, Russell,
I know how you feel.
450
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:24,701
Well, I wouldn't mind
knowing how those feel.
451
00:19:24,701 --> 00:19:26,868
I know you're covering,
but you crossed the line.
452
00:19:26,868 --> 00:19:29,300
Oh, hey, I'm getting a text.
453
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,100
It's this chick Tina.
454
00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:32,634
She's got a pottery wheel,
455
00:19:32,634 --> 00:19:35,667
wants to do
a little Ghost action.
456
00:19:35,667 --> 00:19:38,801
So...I'm gonna cruise.
457
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,501
And for the Robinson's
housewarming,
458
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,734
give them the Crock-Pot.
459
00:19:47,734 --> 00:19:50,767
I'm not waiting eight hours
to eat anything.
460
00:19:52,534 --> 00:19:54,300
All right,
this isn't too bad.
461
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,667
We've assigned gifts to people
462
00:19:55,667 --> 00:19:57,067
who invited us
to their parties.
463
00:19:57,067 --> 00:19:59,000
Yeah, we still have all those
leftover for us.
464
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,200
Mm.
465
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:05,667
Mine.
466
00:20:06,868 --> 00:20:08,334
Mine.
467
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:11,367
Also mine.
468
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:16,167
Well, at least we still have
the six-slice toaster.
469
00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:17,534
Six-slice?
470
00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:20,634
It's mine.
471
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,467
I don't know.
472
00:20:30,467 --> 00:20:32,534
Maybe it was love,
473
00:20:32,534 --> 00:20:35,234
maybe it wasn't.
474
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,133
Do I have regrets?
475
00:20:37,133 --> 00:20:38,801
A few,
476
00:20:38,801 --> 00:20:42,968
but all in all it's better
to have loved and lost.
477
00:20:42,968 --> 00:20:44,067
Am I right?
478
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,634
Catch.
479
00:20:46,634 --> 00:20:48,234
Catch.
480
00:20:48,234 --> 00:20:51,033
It's like a one-track mind
with you.
481
00:20:51,033 --> 00:20:54,200
I don't know why I'm talking
to you about this anyway.
33587
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