Original subtitles

- Sit here. - Okay.

I want you to sit up for a second

I'm gonna ask you a few questions, okay?

Right now.

Today is your birthday.

Today's my birthday.

And how old are you?

Two years old.

Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Test...

Testing one, two, three.

- Is today your birthday? - Yeah.

I'm gonna... Oh, just take another question, okay?

No.

What do you wanna do?

Ella, can I ask you a question?

How do you feel about our relationship, you and me?

Just good.

Definitely good.

- It feels good. - Yeah.

Feels good to me, too.

Three.

My favorite food...

is a treat.

And what's your favorite treat?

Lollipops.

What do you wanna do when you grow up?

Do you know?

Put on makeup and eat gum.

Is that all you wanna do?

Is there anything you wanna do when you grow up

in terms of the kind of you do?

I wanna put makeup on.

What are dreams?

Dreams are when you see alligators climbing all over you

and bite them.

What is "power"?

- Do you know what power is? - No.

You have no idea what power...

What does the word "power" mean?

It's for this.

For what?

For vaginas.

That's what power means to you.

- Yeah. - Okay.

Just leave that alone.

You don't have to touch that.

Don't worry about that.

Don't touch it.

Please don't touch it.

No, it's not good. I will have to take it off then.

- Take it off. - Please don't touch it.

Are we done yet?

Let's talk about two other things.

No, I'm too tired.

What would you like to do when you grow up?

But first, I need to have my lollipop.

I wanna be a grown-up when I grow up.

What do you wanna do when you grow up?

Be a mommy.

What are you most afraid of?

Dragons and monsters.

What is "power"?

I don't know.

What do you think it means?

What does "power" mean?

Power means...

I don't know.

- Just feel my muscles. - All right.

See? They're big.

Yeah.

- I have another question for you. - What?

What are dreams?

I know what dreams are.

You sleep and think at the same time.

What are nightmares?

You think something is happening when it's dark

but it's not really happening.

I'm too bored.

Why are you so bored?

Because it's not fun.

What's not fun?

This.

You keep wanting to get older and older.

How come you're in a hurry?

Because I wanna grow up.

Don't you like being four?

No, I like being five.

I used to be four, but now I'm...

five.

This is the last time I will have to say it.

Goodbye, goodbye

My own self, four

Hello, hello

My own self, five

I don't like when I go to bed at nighttime

'cause sometimes I think when you guys leave me alone

it looks like witches, like, are peeking out of the door

like this, you know what I mean?

The side of the door holding the hand on it

and they're looking like that.

That's what I'm afraid of.

What's your favorite thing that you eat?

Sweets.

You eat sweets.

But what sweet is your favorite?

Lollipops.

'Cause then you know I... You can pull.

Sometimes I, like, grab a stick

with the lollipop, with the ball on it.

You know what I mean? And then I... I bite this.

I... I pull it off with my teeth

the ball, and then I chew on it.

That's how it makes it food.

And there's also juice when I chew on it.

How do you feel about me and you?

I like being together.

You do?

- We don't need that. - No, no.

I talk loud!

I talk very, very loud!

Muscles.

Strong.

Power.

How would you use the word in a sentence?

I'm powerful.

What are nightmares?

They're scary dreams.

What are dreams?

Not scary nightmares.

Tell me what you're most afraid of.

You.

Really?

No, seriously.

Are you really most afraid of me?

- Why d'you say that? - I don't know.

- It's okay. Are you... - I don't wanna.

Are you afraid of me at all?

You are?

- Like, how? - I don't know.

You scare me.

When?

I don't wanna answer that.

What is your favorite thing in life?

My birthday.

- Daddy, Daddy. - What?

My eyes, Daddy, my eyes.

On you.

I want to be... singer.

- A singer? - And make sounds.

- Really? - Yes.

Snakes can kill you.

If they bite you, and they can kill you.

Are you afraid of being killed?

- Not exactly. - What do you like most in life?

Friends and family.

And Hannah Montana.

I wanna have a cat.

A kitten.

And more friends.

A cat, a kitten, and more friends.

I wanna be more...

excited about today.

Okay, that's good. So, you're not that excited?

I'm not... I'm not excited

but I wanna be excited, and I'm not.

- Okay. Was there any... - Last year was the best year ever.

It was?

What was your... what was the best thing that happened last year?

I like Hannah Montana, and I got into it.

You got into that, huh?

You like that.

What was one of the things you didn't like about last year?

You didn't let me watch Hannah Montana.

Okay.

My name is Ella, and I'm turning eight today.

To be smart.

Okay.

- Do you feel you are? - Yeah.

So you have what you want.

But I wanna be smarter.

I wanna be...

on TV.

- You do? - Yes, I do.

- Doing what? - Singing.

- You wanna sing on TV? - Yes.

Well, I don't have to be on television

but, yeah, I wanna be a singer.

You wanna be a singer, and why?

I love to sing.

She said whoever could memorize...

do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do forwards and backwards

would get a treat, and I could... I can do it.

And she gave me a treat.

- Do you wanna do it? - Okay.

Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do Do-ti-la-so-fa-me-re-do

That's smart.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes

How do you measure...

Measure a year?

How would you describe yourself?

Fun.

Funny.

Jokeful, loving.

Peaceful sometimes.

Hyper.

Cool.

And...

kind.

Sometimes.

Most of the time, a lot.

What's the most important thing to you?

My family.

Does my dog count as my family and my friends?

- Sure. - Okay.

I'm afraid of being different.

Not fitting in and being made fun of.

Are you a popular kid?

Ish.

I wanna use the time that I have

doing things that matter to me.

I think power can also have...

not have something to do with, like, physical

like, how strong you are, but also...

how brave you are

if you're willing to stand up for someone.

What do you wanna say to your older self?

So, imagine yourself, like, 21 or 25. What would you like...

What would the nine-year-old Ella like to say to her older self?

Well, you'll be alive when I'm... by the time I look at this, right?

- I hope so. - If my dad's alive

I hope by the time you see this, that you'll film.

You'll still be filming...

me on my birth...

you'll still be filming yourself, which is me on...

on my...

- I'm talking to myself, right? - Right.

- On my birthday. - Are you talking to me?

Here's my dad.

Okay.

All the single ladies

All single ladies

All the single ladies

All the single ladies

Now, put your hands up

Up in the club, just broke up

Doing my own little thing

Be an artist or...

be a comedian.

To be a good person.

And learn.

But not be perfect.

Let's talk about you and me for a second.

Any feelings, thoughts about our relationship?

Nope

It's time to try defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity

And you won't bring me down

- Who's this? - This is my dog.

- Bye. Happy birthday to me. - Bye, see you next year.

What are you most afraid of?

Life.

I'm afraid of living.

Because there's twists and turns

that you don't expect, and it can be rough.

And I don't wanna go through that.

I couldn't tell you for sure

but if I had to think off the spot, I would probably...

animal rights activist.

Power...

is being able to stand up for what you believe in.

Power...

is being yourself.

That takes a lot of power.

Our relationship has been tough this past year.

I think it's gotten worse

the past few months but...

Well, actually not worse.

Just a little more difficult 'cause we've been fighting a lot.

And...

I... I don't know. I...

But we always make up and forgive each other in the end.

So, I feel...

pretty good about it.

What does your 11-year-old...

self wanna say to your 25-year-old self?

Hi, you probably sound like a real dork right now

'cause you're gonna think I'm much cooler than I am right now.

And I hope that...

you still like you

or I still like me

or whatever you'd say.

Hi, how are you?

My name is E-L-L-A.

I love sign language

but I'm not...

deaf.

I'm a crazy...

funny, weird...

12-year-old girl who just...

is experiencing life.

I think I want...

That's so hard.

If what I like to do now is what I like to do when I grow up

then I want to either work with animals, sing, or do art.

We fight a lot, but that's just because...

that's what people do.

They fight.

I... I don't know what to say.

I need...

people to love me, and I need to love them back.

And I need...

support and...

I... I don't know.

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

But standing in front of me

Every breath...

Oh, never mind.

Can you talk about this past year, some of the highlights?

I became a vegan.

I...

That's like the biggest thing

and I had my bat mitzvah last week.

Just a good life.

What does "good life" mean to you?

To be loved and happy.

And live. Like, actually live.

What would that mean to "actually live"?

Like, just don't...

I don't know, take risks and be yourself.

Why do you think we fight so much?

'Cause we disagree.

'Cause like...

I don't know, okay? I don't know.

Just like the same reason anybody fights.

Let's say you... your 25-year-old self

if you're watching this in...

12 years, what would you like to say?

Like, "Why would you wanna watch this?" I guess.

Like, I don't... This is...

I don't see why I'd wanna watch this, so...

Can you tell me...

what do you like most in life?

Sleeping.

Can you tell me some other things that you like?

You said "most"? Which means one thing.

Can you tell me a few things you like about life?

Netflix, my phone.

Laughing.

And sleeping.

The most important thing is to be happy.

Are you happy?

Not really.

But I'm working on it.

All righty.

- Yeah, if you like, start already. - I am starting.

- I'm gonna get the questions out. - Did you add any stupid ones?

There's no, like, one thing.

I just enjoy activities that make me or the people around me happy.

And I think that's nice.

And I like anything, like, involving animals

and I like hanging out with my family sometimes.

Well, it's not really like a highlight or a low point

but it's just like a new experience was like going into high school

and the work was definitely like a challenge.

But I met like so many great people

who now I, like, consider my best friends

and who, like, are, like, really big parts of my life.

And it's just weird that...

I've only known them for, like, what? Like, five months

'cause it feels like it's been a lot longer

and just, like, changed who I am.

Like, having these people, like, with me, it's like...

been good.

I'm afraid that, like...

somebody, like, really important to me is gonna die.

Not, like, anyone specific, but, like, that would just be, like...

really bad.

And I don't, like, want to deal with that.

- Any feelings about turning 16? - No.

I don't know why everyone thinks...

I don't... I think it's really arbitrary.

I get 18 or 21 and there's, like, things that come with it

but I don't really understand.

Can we just go a little faster after this?

- We'll try. - Okay.

The things I like most in life are my friends, family, and TV.

- In that order? - No.

What order?

Family, friends, TV.

Okay, I'm glad TV wasn't first.

Depends on the day.

I need to be happy.

- Are you? - Or... or just, like...

Not that I'm not, but I...

Or I need to, even when I'm sad.

Like, see the benefit in it.

Like, I want all my emotions to make sense.

Thank you for doing this each year.

I know... I know it's a bit of a drag at times.

No, it's not. It's more just 'cause

I'm just stressed out about the program.

- Yeah, I know - I have to do this.

- I have to go... - but each year there's something

and I understand that it's...

- Was there? - They're just... you know.

I'm sorry, but I don't want you to think it's a burden

- 'cause I'm really grateful - No, no

- I understand. I... - that we do this.

I'm just so happy that you agreed to do it.

And like I said, I think, well...

my feeling is

- it will probably go till you're 18. - Yeah.

I really feel sick. I don't think that caffeine agrees with me.

My head hurts.

- I'm sorry that... - It's okay. Can we start?

- Yeah, we're gonna start. - Okay, let's start.

God, I'm gonna look so bad.

- Okay, it's all timed in. - Why you so obsessed with me?

Boy, I wanna know

You should have done it every year where you also had me stand

so you could just see what I looked like as a whole person

instead of just my face.

Sometimes just in my life, being my age and...

you know, what I'm doing, where I am.

I feel like I don't have power.

And...

but I do feel like in other ways, I do.

I feel like I have friends and family who listen to me and respect me

and that's a form of power or, like, agency in some way.

And I feel like my education and my knowledge

gives me power and opportunity.

No, say that again, I can't...

Every year, me and Dad

- Yeah. - film together.

- Oh, yes, for your birthday? - Yeah

- so that's what we're just doing. - So that's what you were doing?

Yeah.

That's nice. That's really nice.

- Beautiful, beautiful. - Yeah.

And it's breakin' my heart You're leavin'

Now that I've lost everything to you

So, what do you think of this birthday ritual

that we've done for the past 17 years?

- Ever since you were two years old. - I love it.

I love rituals, like, in general.

I love... I love traditions.

Like, just for myself.

And this one's really nice.

What do you love about it?

Just, like, I love seeing how thing...

when you'd mark something annually

you can see the way it stays the same or changes

and I like that.

But yeah, I mean, it's sad.

It shows... It's like, in addition to me moving out

in addition to me going to college

it's another reminder that things are changing

that this tradition's ending.

You don't like how it is?

No, I like that... I love that we do this. I love it.

But I think I'm... not putting this on you.

I'm putting this on me. I think my questions are really...

not great.

So I just thought maybe this last one

before we talk about something a little more...

deeper, intimate.

I just love you a lot.

And I'll miss you

when I go to college.

I'm really glad you do these kinds of things.

These traditions, it makes me really happy and...

just reminds me how much you love me.

But I don't really need a reminder because you show it a lot

in everything that you do for me.

- I'm not leaving yet. - I know.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes

How do you measure...

Measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets

In midnight, in cups of coffee

In inches, in miles

And laughter and strife

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Six hundred minutes

How do you measure...

Measure a year?