Original subtitles

Brian, right?

- Yeah. - Hello. Hi, um, a pleasure!

- Doctor... - Nauberger.

Nauberger.

Hey, come into my office and, uh,

- take a seat. - This... this is your office?

Yeah. It's only for temporary, but, you know.

- Well, I mean it... - Come on, take a seat.

Looked a lot different on the website.

I really wouldn't worry about that, Brian,

because you're here to talk to me

so you just close your eyes.

Take some deep breaths and tell me about it.

Well, I mean, I guess, uh, it all stems from my father.

Uh-huh.

You know what, go ahead and tell me about that.

What... what is that smell?

It's just the dumpster. It's, it's normal.

Go ahead and continue where, um,

you left off. Now close your eyes.

Um, like I said, my, my dad and my sister...

Uh-huh. Tell me about them.

Everyone always listens to them.

And, and for me, it's... nobody,

nobody gives me my chance to speak

and I have so much to say and so much to give, and,

and nobody wants to listen to me. And, Yeah.

And I just need someone to, uh, listen.

- Yeah. - And, uh... Hmm.

And are you, are you listening to me?

Well, of course I'm listening.

Perhaps, um,

perhaps it's your id.

Don't worry about the little flies. It's part of nature.

Do you know what the id is?

The id is a manifestation of your subconscious desire,

so I think that you should listen to the id,

Brian. Okay. You understand?

I, I, what is, what is that sound? Who is that?

Oh, don't worry about him. That's Bobby,

my son. Hi, Bobby!

Hey, dad!

Your son?

Yeah, but we have to keep it quiet here

because he's learning how to skateboard Now?

Well, I want to keep him here, so where I can watch him.

Okay? So please just continue from where you left off.

Yeah, I think our, our time's up, right?

No, no, no, no. We have 30 minutes.

A good 30 minutes left. So you go ahead.

No, you know what, I got, I got somewhere I gotta be.

No, no. Just, just...

So you liked your free trial

and you, I'll see you next week?

Yeah. You know what? I, I gotta be honest.

The dumpster of the Chinese food,

your kid, the, the emails

that you constantly send me, I, I, I can't do it.

I can't...

The, the trash everywhere.

Listen, the Groupon deal was...

Was extremely reasonable, I know, and you're welcome.

Listen, I, I, I think I realized what the problem is.

- I don't stand... - Yeah. Good work.

Don't stand up for myself enough.

Excellent.

Yeah. But stop with the, the texts

and the calls and the emails... You're making progress.

No, I gotta say no.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You need help. Please.

Let me help you. Okay. Okay.

Oh, wait, wait. I have, I have something.

Hold on.

What?

You will soon create a favorable impression on someone.

Hey, that's great news!

No, no.

Hey, this kind of stuff is worth a fortune.

So I'll see you next week, okay, bud?

Hey, that was great success.

Great with the Groupons there, Bobby.

Marketing genius!

- Really? - So, yeah... You make old Pop proud,

but you show the old popster a pop shove-off, man.

Yay! Wow.

You're a natural, dude.

Try again.

Never give up.

Daddy loves you.

Great session.

Sorry to hear your father and sister hate you,

but maybe they will listen if you open your heart.

Dig deep next week

and tag...

and...

post!

Hey, I-I'm looking for a Dr. Nauberger.

I have an appointment.

- If you can help me? - Oh!

Craig, right? Yes?

- Oh. Oh. - Hey!

Dr. Nauberger at your service.

- All right. - The power of now.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah, yeah.

No, h-hey, have a seat.

Lay back. Put your feet up.

Did you find the place okay?

Yeah.

Lay back. Put your feet up.

Yeah.

There you go.

So did you have a hard time finding the place?

No.

Yeah. Where are you coming from?

Oh, I live way, way, way down in the middle of nowhere.

- Really? Where? - In Los Angeles.

Los Angeles, like the city of Los Angeles?

Yeah.

Well, that's uh, it's not that far.

No, I live pretty far.

Took me 15 minutes to get here.

15 minutes. Oh, interesting.

Wh-what... what are you doing?

Oh, no, don't, don't worry about it.

It's just for social. Well, let's get started.

Would you tell me a bit about your practice first?

Practice? I don't need practice. I know what I'm doing.

No, like, would you tell me your methodology?

Like, is it the psychoanalytic approach?

Is it cognitive behavioral therapy,

- or is it... - Oh, that one.

Uh-huh.

And where'd you go to school?

Trident?

Oh, no, no, no, thanks. I don't like gum.

Oh, no, no. Trident University.

It's a school my son Bobby found.

B-Bobby?

Bobby? Yeah. He's my son. You'll meet him. Yeah.

He is at the skate park though.

Right.

Before we start, I just wanted you to know,

due to the new offices, there's gonna be a slight,

very slight upcharge.

Oh, but the Groupon said it was $178 for the session.

Yeah, but, hm... due to the new offices,

it's gonna be additional 100. So 278.

Oh, no.

No, I dunno.

I'm not giving you 2...

Okay. Okay. So we can do the 178.

Yeah, that... that's what I paid.

Or 25% off.

Hey, look, I'm not going any more than 50% off, okay?

Excuse me?

This is a private office.

Uh, well, I mean, the door was open,

so I thought it was a public lob-lobby

for public use, you know.

No, no. I'm sorry. You're gonna have to leave.

Come on, Craig. Let's go.

So you don't have an office?

Not exactly.

And who was that?

I don't know. It doesn't matter.

Hey, have you been a psychiatrist long?

Listen, we're here to talk about you.

This is only gonna work if we're open here.

Okay? So tell me, like, where do you live?

Exactly.

Okay. You know what I'm sensing from you?

I'm sensing that you have some sort of issues

of where you live

and you're gonna have to be open about it.

Okay?

Well, I used to have this nice apartment.

Well, that does sound nice.

I got evicted when they told me I had to pay rent.

Oh.

Yeah. That really blindsided me.

You know, that happened to me too?

Ah, perfect.

Can you, uh, help me with the couch?

Oh, this is nice.

Hmm.

I like what you did with the place.

Uh-huh.

Now, uh, there's a reason why you paid for the Groupon,

and that's because you need help.

All right?

And I'm paying you for this, huh?

Time is money. Money is time.

Okay, here we go.

All right, have a seat. Have a seat. Lie down.

Let's begin.

Okay.

Oh.

So... what's the problem?

Well, I mean, it's... social media.

Mm-hm.

I don't know if my friends are trying to

separate themselves from me.

I get online and I, I comment on their pictures.

I leave stuff on their wall.

I send them messages and they never respond.

Hmm.

I don't, I don't know what to do.

You know, Bobby's a genius at this stuff.

And what he tells me to do is

to direct message them or DM them.

What's that?

Well, that's when you, um, put up a post

or something, and then you send them a message like,

"Hey, did you like my post?

Why aren't you responding 'like'?"

or something like that.

That's the weird thing.

- I'll text them... - Uh-huh.

And they'll say, yeah, sure, let's meet up,

but they never say anything online.

Ah.

I put them in my top eight, man.

- Top eight? - Top eight!

My only friend left is Tom.

It's just me and Tom on there now.

He's the only person online with me.

Sad.

So I might as well delete my MySpace because,

- Well, - well, what's the point?

Maybe MySpace isn't for you.

How many Instagram followers do you have?

What are you talking about?

Instagram? You don't know Instagram?

- What's that? - Oh my goodness.

Instagram is absolutely wonderful! Let me show you.

Okay, here's what I posted yesterday. See this photo?

It's of a session, and I put a little recap of

what we discussed, and then I go ahead

and I share it with everybody,

and it really helps my business.

That doesn't really seem appropriate for a psychiatrist.

Haven't you heard of doctor-client confidentiality?

No. That's only for crime.

There's no crime committed here, so it's fine.

I don't know about that because... Oh.

- Speaking of, um... - Uh-huh.

Oh man,

I didn't think I was gonna talk about this, but...

- I was having... - Go deep go dark.

No, I was having lunch with this young lady...

A virtual lunch, and?

No, no, no, no, no. Just, just a regular lunch.

Oh, oh... lay down.

I was having lunch with this young lady,

and I thought like, oh, she might be nice,

- Mm-hm. - You know?

I'm gonna get somewhere.

She was a standup comic, - and I thought... - Mm-hm.

Hm, hm.

And I thought,

you know, she might be really funny,

and she was! - Mm-hm.

But she was just so into her salad.

I couldn't get a word out of her. You know?

I, I didn't know if it was me, if it was the salad.

Should I wear more green?

What does that have to do with anything?

I know. I'm just saying as far

as like, where my life is going.

What do you think I should do? I mean, you,

your honest opinion doc.

Like, what do I need? Like what should I do?

Well, I, I have some medication that'll

help you in the short term.

Take two of these. No, take three,

because you're a special case

and it'll help you relax for a while.

What is it?

Oh, it doesn't matter. Just take it.

Looks like Advil.

Well, it does, but just take it, chew it up in your mouth,

get it all over your tongue, into the crevices

of your receding gums.

And I'll see you in a week, and you come back

and you tell me all about your experiences.

Oh.

If you need instructions, call me.

Next week.

Ah!

Hi, Craig?

It's you! It's us!

Hi, um... no my name is Greg. Do I know you?

- No, Craig right? - It's Greg with a "G".

But you look so familiar.

We had a therapy session last summer, didn't we?

- I don't remember that. - You know what?

I know what it is! You have that Michael Jackson thing,

you know, where you turn white, right?

I really have to be going. I'm sorry.

- Hey, hey, hey! - I'll see you later.

You in need of psychiatric care?

The power of now. It does work.

Okay. Um, yeah. See you.

- No, no, Craig. - See ya.

Hey, come back, Craig!

- Craig, come back! - Jeez!

Ow!

Well, you got a pretty good arm, there.

Thank you. I'm, I'm sorry about that,

but you don't mind if I can have my yoga brick back?

Those aren't cheap, you know?

Will you do a therapy session with me?

I'm not interested in therapy.

But you'll do a free psych session.

I, maybe, I don't, I don't... - Please?

- Okay. Okay. Okay. - Ah!

Okay!

- All right. - Wow, really?

I don't know. Now I'm not, now I'm not that interested.

But you just said you would.

I, I mean, is it, will it take long? Is it...

You know, maybe a couple months.

It really depends how screwed up you are.

And do you wanna do it now or later, or?

No, don't worry about it. Yeah.

- Later. - Yeah.

- Later is good. Okay, cool. - Hey, hey, hey!

No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait!

I just forgot, I have something on my schedule.

- Yeah. - So go ahead

and put your contact information in here

and, and I'll reach you, man. Okay?

- Okay. - Thanks.

It's locked.

Oh, I, I'm so sorry. Oh, okay.

There you go.

Okay.

- Okay. - I really gotta go. Come on.

I'm sorry. No pressure, but...

- Oh, okay. You can... - Okay, cool. Hey!

Good.

- Hey, thank you. - Okay.

Namaste!

- Is that what you say? - Yes.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Hey, take care, Greg-Craig.

All right, bye-bye.

Hello?

Hi, Craig.

It's Nauberger, your psycho analyst.

Okay. Can I help you?

Yeah. Are you ready to do the deep dive?

I... the what?

Your free psych session.

Um... Hey, listen, I, uh, I really...

can't, I'm very busy.

This is more important. Clear your schedule.

Uh-huh.

Hey, look, I don't have an office, but you know what?

In your case, maybe this time I'll, I'll do a house call.

Where do you live?

Since, since you put it that way.

Well...

- Yeah, gimme a second here, - NAUBERGER: Mm-hm.

Doctor.

Um... Okay, let, let's, okay. Yeah.

I live on South Fairfax... Street, at Stocker.

What?

Hey, Craig! Hey...

Yeah, it's a, it's a big beautiful day

for therapy, my friend.

Um, I don't see any addresses,

but we're at 5,000 Fairfax,

but hey, uh, I don't know where I am.

I think I'm lost. Call me?

Please?

Okay.

Hey, Craig! Come back!

You forgot your mat, you forgot your yoga blocks.

Thanks.

Are you avoiding me?

You missed your therapy session.

I mean, you left me hangin', dawg.

I forgot. I should really be getting

- back to yoga, though. - No, no. Come on.

You promised.

Come on, sit down on the soft grass.

- Yeah? - Come on, you owe me.

Wait! Wait, wait.

Allow me, okay, lemme get this for you, okay.

- All right. Now, sit down. - All right.

Sit, sit, sit, sit.

Okay.

Okay. Now!

Forget about yoga.

Let us begin. Let me fix you.

Oh, I'm not interested in therapy for myself.

Look, I've helped so many clients,

so many wonderful people, you know, I'd be willing

to drop all of them just to help you full-time.

I don't need that.

I, you know, this isn't really a, a way to practice therapy

at all, or I don't even if, you

know if you are a real therapist.

Well then, why don't we just hang?

You don't, you don't have anybody to talk to, do you?

Hm.

Well, I guess we could all use someone to talk to...

every once in a while.

Well, you can talk to me.

No, but I mean, like a real friend.

Well, I am your real friend.

Ah, but...

someone, someone you could really vibe with, you know?

Well, you know, I'm your friend

who you're vibing with right now.

No, I don't know about that.

I mean, someone who's funny, someone who can make me laugh.

I can make you laugh.

You know, there once was this guy

and he was crossing the road and there was a, a chicken.

And, you know, I'm really bad at this.

If, if Craig was here, he would know something funny to say.

Who is Craig?

Well, Craig was my second patient,

and he was um, he was great.

We all miss him.

Tell me more.

Well, he had so much potential

natural talent, and he was also naturally funny.

And he, he was always joking.

And you never knew what was true and what wasn't.

And that's what made him so fascinating.

Then he started flaking.

He missed a session, and then he stopped returning my

texts and phone calls.

How long has it been since he's stopped

returning your texts and calls?

Well, it's only been a year, so...

Oh, have you considered that

maybe since he doesn't return texts

or calls, maybe he doesn't wanna talk to you?

Oh, I think he's just confused.

Look, there's a, there's a little concept

I wanna tell you about called reciprocity.

- Reciprocity. - Uh-huh.

Now, I don't mean

that every relationship has to be transactional,

but say you invite someone to lunch, but they're busy,

but then they invite you to something else

that's being reciprocal.

- Craig did that. - Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I said, "See you later." And he said, "Okay."

It's not, it's not really... it, you know,

maybe he was just trying to hurt, not hurt your feelings.

Or he, maybe things have changed for Craig since then.

No, I just don't think he's getting my texts.

How does it make you feel when you invite Craig to therapy

and he doesn't respond?

Bad.

Yeah. Maybe you should try for something new.

Do you have any other patients?

Well, I had Brian, but...

he disappeared too.

And then there was Craig,

and I really thought he was the one.

That's putting a lot of emotional pressure on Craig

to be so focused on him.

Yeah. I guess it's...

How do you think it made him feel?

Yeah, too much. Too much. Yeah.

Yeah. Does that make sense?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

You're really good at this.

I think maybe you should be a psychologist.

Yeah...

That's kind of what I do. Or, I go to school for it.

Oh!

You could teach me.

It's not how it works.

I can't, I can't teach you.

But you know what?

I think you're really helping me.

Can we do another session?

I can't, I haven't graduated.

I can refer you to a licensed psychologist who would

love to help you, but I, I can't.

You know, I, I don't have any money.

Please? You help me.

All right.

All right. I'll try to help you.

Just don't tell anyone. Keep it on the down low. Okay?

- All right, all right. - All right.

Okay.

Craig! Dr. Nauberger.

Hey, what do you call a ghost on a haunted ship?

A buoy!

Yeah.

Hey, um, you wanna do another therapy session?

Gimme a call.

Where's Greg?

Am I too fat?

Is it my B.O.?

Hey, Greg!

Hey, hey, hey!

Hi, over here!

- Over here, over here! - Ah!

Hey.

Hey, doc.

Hi.

You know, I've been trying to reach you.

Where have you been?

Oh, I've just been working.

So, hey, how was your week? Any highs? Any lows?

Huh? Well, oh!

Okay.

Well, I'm not interested in therapy for me, remember?

I brought you these box of tissues for you to cry in.

I will consider it a personal failure of mine

if you don't cry by the end of this session.

Do you need one of these?

Thank you.

What's going on?

I can't get my practice going.

No clients are interested in therapy.

No office, no money for school.

No Craig.

Well, do you have any family?

Yeah, I mean, I have my son Bobby.

Yeah. He got married, and he knocked up his wife,

- but, you know... - Oh.

Yeah. And then he doesn't have any time

for his old pop's trick tips anymore.

Hm.

Then there's my daughter Allie,

and she won't speak to me, no.

Hm.

Why won't your daughter speak to you?

Ah, nothing. All I did was try

to psychoanalyze her for my book.

Oh.

Then we got in a fight over it

and we haven't talked for years.

Well, maybe since it's been years, maybe it's time

to reach out to her to maybe try to talk to her again.

I don't know how to talk to her.

Well, tell me more about that.

Well, I mean, ever since it happened, I get really nervous

and the thought of talking to her just terrifies me.

You know, I had the same exact issue.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Now, I don't usually speak about myself

when I'm conducting therapy,

but sometimes it can be instructional,

but please don't share this with anyone.

...don't share this with anyone.

...share this with anyone.

So, when I was talking in front of groups,

like therapy group, public speaking, I had the same fear,

but you know what happened? I realized that if I

- imagined the audience naked, - Uh-huh.

Then I could speak perfectly. - Wow.

The whole thing went away.

That's great.

Hold on just a second.

Okay. Big smile.

Heh!

Thank you, man. That's for my social media.

- Oh. - Yeah!

Help me get clients. I'll build up my business.

- No, don't do that. - Oh.

Yeah. Go to school.

- Yeah. - Yeah, school.

- No money, but, yeah... - All right. Yeah.

- All right, well, - Okay, hey!

- Gotta get back. - Hey, thanks man!

- Okay. Thank you. - Okay.

Yep.

I didn't imagine you naked. I wouldn't do that.

- - Oh, - Thanks for the advice. - Thank you.

I feel comfortable with you.

- Yeah. All right. - Thanks a lot, man.

- Yeah. - Appreciate it.

- Bye. - See you soon!

- Yeah. - Have a good jog!

Yup.

Take care!

Miss you!

Hi Allie.

Hi, dad.

Look, I'm really sorry for how I acted.

Okay. Thanks? Look, I gotta go.

No, I... can you forgive me?

It's just pretty messed up what you did.

Yeah, I-I was wrong. I can change.

What do you want?

I just want to be in your life.

Why? Haven't you already done enough?

Because I love you.

But you're just gonna try to psychoanalyze me again

and then put it on Instagram.

- I promise... - You never listen!

I promise not to psychoanalyze you.

I, I, I promise to listen to you. I want to listen to you.

Okay? I can change.

Okay!

Okay.

All right.

You wanna get a coffee sometime?

Yeah. Okay.

When you're not busy, of course. Okay.

Um... Well, kiddo. Great.

Thank...

Oh, dad. Bye dad.

♪ I am the captain ♪ of the Pinafore

♪ and a right good captain too ♪

♪ I'm very, very good and be it understood ♪

♪ I command a right good crew ♪

He's very, very good ♪

♪ And be it understood ♪

♪ He commands a right good crew ♪

Hm hm-hm-hm-hm-hm ♪

♪ Ha ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪

♪ Hm hm hm hm hm hm ♪

Thank you @gregrusso23

for another great session.

Though some may think it weird when you imagine your therapy

group buck-naked on account of being nervous.

I think it is endearing. See you soon.

The power of now. The power of now...

...now, the power of now, the pow...

Hey, Greg. What's up?

Hi, Dr. Nauberger?

Yeah. Hi.

We need to talk.

About what?

Well, I saw your Instagram post about me.

Oh, yeah. No, it was a good one. Huh?

You deliberately did what I told you not to do.

What?

Yeah. You shared that con... story I told you in

- complete confidence. - No, I'm, look...

- And you... - I-I-I'm...

You embarrassed me in front of my therapy

group. I'm totally embarrassed.

I'm so sorry!

- I... I, I'm, - I...

- I can't trust you any more. - Please, no, I,

I'm sorry.

I, hey, hey, hey. It won't happen again.

I, well, we certainly can't continue our sessions.

Well, why not?

- Please? - Well... I don't, I don't think we have

enough in common to be friends.

No, come on. That's not true.

So, I'm sorry. I hope you understand.

No! We both love psychology.

We both love the great outdoors. I mean, Greg...

Greg!

Greg, you came!

Hey. Hey, doc.

Hey. I am really sorry about that post.

I, I deleted it

and uh, you know, I, I just can't get the hang

of all this texting and Instagraming and stuff.

- Yeah. - I got rid of the app.

It's all right. Don't worry about it.

So you forgive me?

Yeah. It's not a big deal.

Why did you decide to talk to me again?

Well, it would've been easier to send you out

to the oil field or um... - What? - You know... What?

You did that on purpose?

Oh, you rascal!

I'm sorry.

- Yeah. - Trickster.

But yeah, no, I wanted to give you this.

I, I got it previously, but, you know... Wow!

It's a bloodstone. It comes from Australia

and it, it helps people who have been bullied

or abandoned to regain a sense of self-worth.

Wow. Thank you.

Yeah. So, so this signifies

that our therapy sessions from me to you,

or both ways, is now complete.

Oh. So, then you're leaving?

There was one other thing. You know, you can call

and text like a lot. A lot, a lot.

Yeah. I'm, I'm sorry. I'll, I'll cut back.

So probably just daytime hours would be a start.

And, and maybe, maybe like once a week,

once every couple of weeks. Yeah, that'd be all right.

So are we friends still?

Well, you know...

now that you put it that way.

Yeah. I mean, call me a week after Friday

or text me or whatever and... Okay.

And um, yeah, we could figure something out.

You know, go on a hike or something.

- Right, I'd like that. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - That'd be cool.

Cool.

My name's Holm, by the way.

Holm.

Yeah.

That's nice.

Thank you.

So you heard about the old one

about the guy who crossed the road

with the chicken or, or the duck?

Oh, you trying to get me with that?

What is the end to that? I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

- I don't think anyone knows. - Okay.

Yeah, it was a, it was um, some animal,

I just can't really remember.

Uh-huh.

- A fowl? Or was a cat? - Yeah.

I dunno. A dog?

♪ Everything ♪

♪ Oh, everything is going my way ♪

♪ And it's all because of me ♪

♪ No worries, so happy ♪

♪ Everything's going my way ♪

♪ It's all because of me ♪

♪ I was lonely, so lonely ♪

♪ But then I found a way ♪

♪ And it's all because of me ♪

Palms on the mat.

Fingers spread wide, heart melting towards the earth.

Raise your right leg high, soaring like an eagle.

And take that leg and step it through.

Runner's lunge.

Bring your back foot in.

Reach your hands above!

Virabhadrasana, Warrior I.

Hey, it's Greg.

Leave a message, and I'll get right back to you.

Namaste.

It's Dr. Nauberger.

Give me a call.

Dr. Nauberger?

Oh, Greg. Hi.

Hey. What's up, doc?

Nothing, just waiting for you to text.

Nothing. I mean, I'm waiting for the bus.

Well, good seeing you.

You might want to, you know, sit on the bench.

It'll be more comfortable, but, uh,

- all right. - No, no, wait, wait, wait!

My car was towed. Take me to the tow place?

Uh... Well, I mean, if it's not too inconvenient.

Well, where is it?

I don't know. I mean, it could be this way.

It could be this way. Could be any which way,

really, when you think about it.

- Okay. Well, see you later. - Wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

It's just down the block. It'll take a second.

Uh, I'm getting in!

Ah!

Yes!

So, uh, where's your car?

You mean my Ferrari?

What? Your Ferrari?

- Just kidding! - What?

I don't have a Ferrari, but wait, wait!

Quick, quick! Pull over, pull over!

What? Why?

Uh, ah!

I, I need to visualize a Ferrari so I can have one.

Okay.

I need to concentrate

because if you visualize that you have a Ferrari already,

then you will have one.

Mm!

Mm-mm-mm.

Hm. I hope that works out for you.

Yeah. Me too.

Uh...

Yeah. Okay, cool. We can go.

Okay.

All right. So, uh, where, which way should I take you?

- Um... - Where's your car?

Uh...

Your car?

You don't, you don't have a car, do you?

Eh...

You know, I used to have a car, but I had an incident.

What happened?

Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.

Okay.

You know, I'm bipolar and maybe a ADHD too.

Oh, huh.

Yeah. That's why I have troubles with, you know,

jobs and stuff.

Oh, right.

Hey, you want to go on a hike?

I can't. I have, uh, class in like 10 minutes.

Oh, come on. You can skip it.

No, I can't.

Come on, live a little. Haven't you ever played hooky?

Actually, never.

Oh, but you've always wanted to, right?

Kind of.

Yeah. Well, you don't wanna be sitting inside.

Yeah.

You know, it's the things that you don't do that you regret.

Yeah! Okay. All right.

Cool.

All right.

Let's do it.

- Greg? - Yeah.

Um, when can you be my real therapist?

Um... I guess, when I graduate. Maybe.

- Oh. - Maybe.

Okay, um, come on! Let's do a session.

Look, there's a nice little log I can lay on.

And there's rock there that you can sit on.

Wait, wait. What's this?

Come on. It'll be just like old times...

Wait, let, look, look!

- What? - There's a bear right there.

- Oh, is it... - Can you see it?

Wait, is it a black bear or brown bear?

I don't think that matters right now.

To me it looks like a black bear.

But you know, it has brown spots,

so it could be a brown bear.

Look, I think we need to slowly back away.

No, should we pet it?

No! I think we should get a rock.

Get two rocks and hit it together. And, and,

- maintain eye contact. - No!

Shh, shh, shh, warrior pose.

Wait, it's not a time for yoga.

Warrior pose!

It'll scare him off!

- Stop! Just... - Yeah.

Oh, hey, hey, hey.

Avert!

Avert your eyes. Don't look at it.

Downward dog!

- No, downward dog! - This is not a time for yoga!

Hey! Get off my friend!

Greg, I am so sorry you got mauled.

It's just a little bear bite.

They're gonna fix it right up.

Hi, Allie, over here!

Hey!

Hi, dad!

Isn't this great?

Hanging with the Al-gal just like old times.

Yeah.

Oh, um, do you want a coffee?

I got it. Don't worry about it.

Um, black okay?

No, I think it was brown, actually.

What?

Oh, right. No, I... black. Black.

I got you a bear claw.

Ew!

Are you okay?

You know, I'm just not hungry I, I, I guess, uh...

Yeah. I, you look great.

Thanks! You, you look...

great!

Where are you staying?

Well, you know, here, there, everywhere.

So, I've thought about it

and you could stay with me if you want.

No, I don't know. I, I don't want to impose.

No, it'd be fine. Really!

I, I have an extra bedroom and we could get you cleaned up.

Maybe help you with the job search.

- Oh, I have a job. - You do?

Yeah. I'm a clinical psychiatrist. But, you know that.

You're never going to be a real psychiatrist.

Look, I talk to people. I listen to people.

I prescribe medication.

You don't even have a license.

Psychiatrists need a license to practice.

- Oh, that's dumb. - Is not.

- Is too. - Is not.

Is too, times a million.

- Is not times a billion. - Trillion...

- Gazillion - Infinity.

Infinity plus one.

Ooh!

Well, if I'm not a real psychiatrist,

then I must not have a session

with a very important client in 5, 4,

3...

Wait, I do.

Later.

Hey!

What's up?

Dr. Nauberger.

- Yeah. - Hey.

W-what's up?

Nothing, what's, uh, what's going on?

Just here.

What are you doing?

Um, just taking a jog.

Jogging's bad for your knees. Don't you know that?

- I guess. - Well then why do you do it?

I guess you can once in a while.

Oh!

You want to be my writing partner?

- Uh, no, thanks. - Why not?

Well, I just prefer writing alone.

Hmm. What are you writing about?

It's a case study about two patients.

I don't see how that's gonna make you a hundred million.

I don't think that's really the point.

You wanna know what my book's about?

Uh, what?

Two best friends and mental health issues.

Nice, nice.

You know, I joined Toastmasters Improv Masters.

What's that?

Well, it's a place where you give speeches.

You wanna hear my speech?

- Okay, um, - Um, okay.

- I guess... - Yeah. So... off to your place!

So you gonna offer me any water?

Oh, yeah. Um, is, uh, filtered okay?

Um, tap. And you don't have to use your best cup.

Okay.

So there was this girl, her name was Goldilocks,

and she was out for a walk in the forest.

There were three bowls of porridge...

...and she tried the first one and...

...the second one is like, ouch...

...ooh, that's too soft. She tried the third one...

...really, really mad. And then she woke up...

...and she ran out the door.

The end.

So we gonna watch TV now?

Yeah. I guess I could turn something on.

Okay.

So you single? Married?

Lookin'?

Um... single.

Hm.

You're looking for someone hot, like, uh...

Taylor Swift.

I guess.

Someone young, like 18 or 20?

I don't know. I think probably someone

closer to my own age.

Me, I'm looking for Craig or someone exactly like him.

Hmm.

Well you, uh, done with your water?

Uh... why you want me to leave, or something?

No, no, no.

I just, um, I have some work that I need to do.

Oh, but you know what? I still need mental help.

I mean, you know, these days Craig is so hard to read,

especially when I don't know where he is

or what he's doing.

Well, you know, have you tried meeting new people?

EHarmony is something you could, maybe...

No, I prefer to meet some Craig in person.

Uh-huh.

Well, okay, here is some homework you can try.

Maybe try talking to five new people in real life.

And one non-confrontational way you could meet someone is

just to ask for the time.

Hmm.

Okay.

So you're kicking me out now.

I'm kicking out now.

Okay.

Later.

- All right. - Thanks for the water.

Yeah, no worries.

Mmm.

Unfiltered's the best!

- Hi. - Hi.

Hey, uh, do you know what time it is?

Um...

- 11:35. - Thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry. Do you know what time it is?

Do I look like a clock to you?

Nu-uh.

Hi.

Nope.

Hi! Excuse me. Do you know what time it is?

Do you know what time it is?

Dr. Nauberger.

Hey, what's up? What are you doing?

Nothing. I'm just studying. I have a big test coming up.

Oh. Do you have a girlfriend yet?

No.

So maybe you're the shy guy.

But you know, I have a game for you.

I learned it at Toastmasters Improv Masters.

Your game was way too boring.

It's called Dr. Know-it-all.

Come on, follow me. Come on.

- There? - Yeah.

Hi!

We're Dr. Know-it-all. Ask us any question

and we will give you the answer.

Ask us anything at all.

Like, who will win that important ball game?

Or when will the universe expand?

Uh, improv. I don't have time for this.

Okay... um, any, any question? Come on.

Just a word. We're Dr. Know-it-all.

Okay.

Where is my sanity?

Sanity... okay,

so you say any word, but you just keep it going.

Sanity - bubble is Fi-fishing for the disaster

area of Life.

Yeah. Sorry.

Hi!

We're Dr. Know-it-all, ask us any question

and we will give you the answer.

But - there - is

cheese - in - your - teeth!

Hi, we're Dr. Know-it-all. Ask us any question

and we will give you the answer.

Poof!

Excuse me.

I'm the manager and we've been getting some complaints.

- And your question is, sir? - No question,

but I request that you don't bother our customers.

Please, sirs.

Yeah, we were just on our way out.

No, no, no. You don't understand.

We're Dr. Know-it-all.

Ask us any question!

Will you kindly stop this and leave our customers alone?

We - will - stop - a - MANAGER: Okay, - session...

You! You both are banned. For life.

What?

But I like this place.

Hey, listen up!

If you see these two very bad men here, don't serve them.

They're going up on the wall.

Wait, no, this is my favorite coffee shop.

You go on the wall of shame.

Shame on you, sirs.

Now out.

Out! Get out!

Come on, Greg.

I am so sorry

you got banned from your favorite coffee shop, Greg.

Me, too.

I gotta go.

Oh, okay. Later?

Hello.

Hey, what's up?

Nothing. What's up?

Are you a Christian?

Uh, yeah.

What are you doing Sunday?

You wanna go to church with me?

I'm not that into going to churches right now.

It's a really good one.

Uh... Hey, there's girls there too.

And there's someone I wanna introduce you to.

All right. I, uh, I guess I could go.

And don't forget your Bible.

Okay.

And you can drive me, right?

So did you bring your Bible?

Oh, I forgot.

What? Well, you can borrow mine.

Thanks.

Those who know me know I love two things.

I love the Dodgers...

All right, now.

And I love our Lord Jesus Christ.

Now yes, I was at the game last night...

and I get hyped up, man!

When Justin Turner hit that home run. Wow! I went crazy.

But that's how we should feel about Jesus

and the Bible, which are 100% true, literally.

All of it. It's God's truth.

Now what does it teach us?

So what'd you think?

Pretty good.

I want you to meet some people.

Follow me.

Hi.

Here's my friend, Greg.

Hi, I'm Greg.

Hi.

This is my friend Greg.

Hey, nice to meet you.

Hi!

Here's my friend, Greg.

Hey, how's it going?

Good.

Hey, you want something from the snack table?

How about a cookie?

Um...

yeah, actually I, um, I'm kind of vegan. I don't really...

You're a vegetable?

No.

Um, it's over here.

Okay.

Uh-hoh!

They don't have any bananas.

- Oh. - Wait right here,

I want to, uh, introduce you to somebody.

Okay.

Greg, this is Lacey.

Hi, I'm Greg.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Um, you've been coming here a long time?

Yeah, about a year.

Okay, nice. Um, first time for me.

So... are you from LA originally?

Uh, from Long Beach originally.

Okay, um, nice. I'm from New Jersey.

- Oh, nice. - Yeah. Um, what do you do?

Well, I work in HR at Logos Logistics.

Uh, one of those companies down there.

- Oh! - Culver City.

Oh, Culver, okay. Yeah. Nice.

What do you do?

Um, I am a student.

Uh, I'm a, I study psychology.

Oh, nice.

Well, uh, it was nice meeting you.

You too.

Did you get her number?

Uh... no.

I don't even know what she looks like.

Yo, I'm tryin' to hook you up, dawg.

Ah, no, I'm not even really looking

for a girlfriend right now.

Oh, okay. Well we can go.

Well... thanks for the invite.

Oh, no problem.

Um, wanna go grab lunch?

I can't, uh, I've a lot of chores to do,

- Oh. - Laundry.

But, uh, I need help.

Maybe we can do a quick session

or I can psychoanalyze you if you want.

Um... how about this? Here's some homework

for you, for next time.

You can choose five people who inspire you

and make a board, like a collage

and just choose five inspiring people from the area of work,

family, creativity, leadership and spirituality.

- Hm. - Yeah?

Cool.

Well, do you live... Are you getting out?

Oh yeah. Right. Yeah.

Okay.

- Okay. - Uh, later.

- Yeah. See you. - Bye, bye.

Hello?

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, not much. What's going on?

Ah, you busy Saturday?

'Cause there's an improv group event in the park. It's free.

You wanna go?

So the first partner

starts the scene with an action

and then the second partner tries to discern what

that action is and then joins with a line.

Okay? So, who's up?

- Oh, me! Me! Pick me! - Anyone at all?

- Come on, Greg. - Ah, okay.

Come on!

Okay, so just, uh, start the scene.

Calm, calm.

Take your fists, squeeze, release.

Curl your toes, and release.

Now you're back in my office...

in the safety of my office.

So you lie down, lie down, lie down, down,

lie down, down, down, down.

Okay. So tell me, how was your week?

Any highs? Any lows?

Great. Uh, I'm gonna stop you right there.

So we really want to try and determine what the action is.

So... what about

what he was doing suggested therapy session?

Well, it's obvious he was having a psychotic episode

'cause when someone does something like this

they're having anxiety and they need help,

so I can help him.

Okay. Yeah. I, I see that.

Why don't we try swapping places?

Okay.

And Holm, you can start the, you start the action this time

- and then Greg, you join in - Uh-huh.

With a line...

Okay. That's... you're not doing an action, Holm.

That's, you're making him lie down. Okay.

I guess we're just gonna do this scene.

Well, that was interesting.

Yeah. I find it a little weird

that they wouldn't let me do the scene that I wanted to do.

Well, you can't really force a scene in improv, you know?

Well, I guess.

You want to try this place?

Oh, no, it looks too crowded.

How about the counter?

No, I just had In-N-Out the other day.

Oh, you know, I'm thinking, I'm probably

gonna move to New Jersey soon.

What? Uh, won't you miss LA?

Maybe a little.

Well then, why would you move?

Uh, just to be closer to family. And,

all my classes are online now, so... yeah.

It's better.

You'll be close to New York.

Pretty close.

I'll visit you, right?

Ah-hm... yeah, you could visit.

You know, 'cause I used to have some friends

and then they weren't. I had a, a friend, he moved

to New York and then I never heard from him again.

- Oh, that sucks. - Yeah.

Yeah. People can be kind of flaky sometimes.

Mm-hm.

Well, do you wanna just walk around

and maybe we'll find a place?

Okay.

Whoa! Stop the car.

The bakery, the bake shop!

I'm not stopping the car.

No, they have really good stuff there.

Woo hoo! Par-tay!

Looks fun, looks like my kind of scene!

All right, well that was fun. Thanks for the invite.

What are you doing tomorrow?

Uh, tomorrow I'm writing...

and, oh, I have a session with my therapist.

Wait, what?

Yeah, my therapist. I, I have a session.

Why?

Well, you know, even therapists have therapists.

Oh... yeah. Later.

You seem uneasy.

Really?

Yes. I'm noticing a tick.

I'm going to tell you this only so you're aware of it.

You're scratching the back of your head.

Oh, well maybe it's because you were late.

I do apologize for that.

Perhaps one of our calming techniques can

put you more at ease.

Okay. Um, yeah... How about the, the list...

maybe the listing of the five senses?

Okay. If that's what you choose to do.

Okay.

Okay.

Things I can smell...

Um... the musty smell of the old room. Uh...

dust, maybe.

Uh...

things I can see...

a chair,

a plant, Dr. Nauberger?

What's up?

W-what are you doing here?

Well, I just wanted

to see a therapy session. A real one.

Hi, I'm Dr. Nauberger, at your service.

Dr. Nauberger?

This is the guy I was telling you about.

Oh.

Dr. Nauberger at your service.

Dr. Nauberger, this is a confidential therapy session.

Oh, but it's only for educational purposes,

so it is okay.

If you would please leave us now,

so Greg and I can resume.

But I'm Greg's therapy patient,

and therefore we have doctor client privileges

and it's okay.

I'm very confused.

Yeah, me too. Why you being mean?

Look, that was weird, Holm.

You can't just follow people around

and spy on them like that.

Yeah, but I just didn't want to feel left out.

No spying!

Okay. You wanna go to lunch?

No. I, I gotta go.

See ya.

Brian?

Doctor...

Dr. Nauberger?

Yeah.

Dr. Nauberger!

I've been looking for you.

I've been to every dumpster.

I found my id.

I found my id!

Look at me, Dr. Nauberger!

Look what you've done!

The Groupon!

Look where it's gotten me!

Hey, it's Greg. Leave a message,

and I'll get right back to you.

Hi Greg, i-it's Holm. Call me.

We're sorry. You have reached a number

that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.

Gah!

Ah!

Come on!

Were's my tent?

God, can Greg be my friend?

Please?

Please, let Greg be my friend.

Please.

- Dad? - Hi Allie.

What's up?

Well, I kind of moved out of my place

and I was wondering if I could take you up on your offer.

I, I kind of need a place to stay.

I have a job lined up.

I can do psychiatry on the side

and I'm gonna go to school for it.

But I thought you said having a license was dumb.

Well it is kind of dumb, but I'll put up with it.

Let me show you your room.

What a beautiful place you have here.

Here it is.

Wow.

You're probably gonna need another pillow.

Maybe an extra blanket. Hold on.

Hello?

What's up?

Hey, not much.

Just um, reading the paper. Eating breakfast.

You changed your number.

Yeah, I've, uh, kind of been getting a lot of

spam calls recently.

Where are you?

I'm in New Jersey.

Who's your governor?

I don't know, uh, Murphy, something.

Governor Eddie Murphy?

No.

You know I'm joking, right?

Yeah.

Guess where I am?

I don't know, where?

Come on, guess!

You're at the... park?

Can you hear that? I... see... animals, and...

Uh, you're at the zoo!

No. I see, ah, big animals with whiskers.

They're big and fat and wet and they're by the water.

- Oh, the beach? - Yes!

Ah, yeah, I think I know where that beach is.

Hm. So when are you gonna move back to LA?

Um...

I don't know. I, I don't think anytime soon or anything.

Oh.

Tell me a joke.

It's a little early in the morning for me to think of one.

Okay, I'll tell you one.

There was this guy and this chicken and a duck

or maybe it was a fowl, and, um...

Oh yeah, right, the foul.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So there was a fowl and a guy and everybody

and they wanted to cross the road, but why?

Well, to go into the bar.

So they go into the bar

and of course there was a priest there

and the bartender says to the horse, why the long face?

You get it?

- Nice. Yeah. - But did you get it?

Uh, yeah. Yeah. That's pretty funny actually.

Alright. 'Kay.

So is there anything you want to say to me

before we say goodbye?

No, I think that's it.

Okay.

Well, you're a good guy, Greg.

Thanks. You too.

Listen, if you ever get bored, call me.

Okay.

Later.

Later.

Greg! What are you doing down there?

Dr. Nauberger?

What's up!

Wha-what is this? Rolls-Royce?

Yeah! Well, what were you expecting? A Ferrari?

And how?

Oh, it doesn't matter.

But... uh... Let's just call it the power of now.

Come on, get in!

Ah, come on, you trickster!

♪ Feeling ♪

♪ it's never going up again ♪

♪ Like piloting ♪

♪ without a wing ♪

♪ I twist this up inside my head ♪

♪ I turn it off won't let you in ♪

♪ So let's pretend ♪

♪ we know the end ♪

♪ Then you ♪

♪ pull me through ♪

♪ And it feels new ♪

♪ To be with you ♪

♪ To be with you ♪

♪ To be with you ♪

♪ I can't ♪

♪ let it all break down again ♪

♪ Fast-forward it ♪

♪ to see the end ♪

♪ Trying hard to let you in ♪

♪ And replay everything you said ♪

♪ Can we pretend ♪

♪ we're over this ♪

♪ Then you ♪

♪ pull me through ♪

♪ And it feels new ♪

♪ I'll stay ♪

♪ and throw away ♪

♪ Everything I knew ♪

♪ To be with you ♪

♪ To be with you ♪

♪ To be with you ♪

♪ To be with you ♪

♪ To be with you ♪

♪ To be with you ♪

♪ To be with you ♪

♪ Then you ♪

♪ pull me through ♪

♪ And it feels new ♪

♪ I'll stay ♪

♪ and throw away ♪

♪ Everything I knew ♪

♪ To be with you ♪