Original subtitles

♪ ♪

START THE CLOCK.

♪ ♪

Bill: THANK YOU FOR PUTTING

ON A BRAVE FACE, YOU KNOW WHAT

DONALD TRUMP-- IT'S ALL OVER.

AND EVEN WORSE, IT'S PRIDE

MONTH!

ARE YOU HAVING A GOOD PRIDE

MONTH, ARE YOU UP THERE PRIDING

IT UP?

THAT'S FANTASTIC, IT'S A LITTLE

LESS PRIDEY THIS YEAR EVER SINCE

TRUMP AND THE ADMINISTRATION HAS

BEEN ON THE WARPATH AGAINST

ANYTHING DEIA.

NOW CORPORATE AMERICA IS A

LITTLE SKITTISH WITH ALL THE

PRIDE STUFF.

A LOT OF THE COMPANIES-- GAP,

NORDSTROM'S, MACY'S THEY'VE

PULLED BACK, NO MORE

OSTENTATIOUS DISPLAYS, AT

HOME DEPOT THEY WON'T EVEN LET

YOU GET WOOD.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

BUT I'M NOT GOING TO PRETEND I

CAN REALLY THINK ABOUT ANYTHING

OTHER THAN TRUMP-- THE RICHEST

MEN OF THE WORLD, THE MOST

POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD IT'S

LIKE GODZILLA VERSUS KING KONG.

IF GODZILLA WAS ON KETAMINE AND

KING KONG HAD A COMB-OVER.

THESE GUYS WERE SO CLOSE IT'S

LIKE ANGELINA-- YOU KNOW THAT.

THEY HAD THEIR OWN COUPLE NAME,

NAME,-- WHAT HAPPENED THIS

WEEK, THIS HAS BEEN BREWING FOR

A WHILE.

OKAY-- THE FIRST SIGN WAS LAST

WEEK AT ELON'S GOING AWAY PARTY,

REMEMBER THAT OF THE OVAL OFFICE

AND THE ELON SHOWED UP WITH A

BLACK EYE, IT'S NOT THAT.

TRUMP SET I OFFERED HIM A LITTLE

MAKEUP, THIS IS SERIOUS.

SET I OFFERED HIM A LITTLE

MAKEUP AND HE TURNED IT DOWN AND

TRUMP SAID "WHICH WAS

INTERESTING."

WEIRD, ELON.

WHAT SORT OF MAN TURNS DOWN

MAKEUP?

WHAT PUT IT OVER THE EDGE WAS

ELON CAME IN THERE TO REDUCE THE

GOVERNMENT BLOAT AND THEN THEY

HAVE THIS BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL

WHICH ELON TWEETED OUT, HE SAID

IT WAS A DISGUSTING ABOMINATION

THEN TRUMP SAID HE HAS A TRUMPET

DERANGEMENT SYNDROME THEN ELON

SAID YOUR TARIFFS ARE GOING TO

CAUSE AN ERECTION-- AN ERECTIO

ERECTION?

A RECESSION IS WHAT I MEANT TO

SAY.

[LAUGHTER]

THEN TRUMP SAID HE IS JUST MAD

AT ME BECAUSE I TOOK AWAY TO

MANDATE FOR HIS ELECTRIC

VEHICLES WHICH NOBODY REALLY

WANTS ANYWAY THEN ELON SAID

WITHOUT ME HE WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN

WON THE ELECTION, THEN THE SHIT

GOT REAL.

TRUMP SAID MARS IS A SHIT WHOLE

PLANET AGO ELON SAID "OH, MY

GOD, YOU'RE NOT THE SAME MAN I

USED TO HEIL."

FOR THOSE KEEPING SCORE AT HOME

AND TO WATCH THE SHOW FOR THE

NEWS, I MADE THE LAST TO GO UP.

BUT IT'S VERY HARD TO TELL WHICH

ONES ARE THE ONES I MADE UP.

THE OTHER ONES ARE REAL, NOW

IT'S GOTTEN NASTIER.

THEY ASK TRUMP YESTERDAY ABOUT

THE FIGHT AND HE SAID I DON'T

THINK ABOUT HIM.

THEN ELON PUT OUT THINK ABOUT

THIS, TRUMP IS IN THE EPSTEIN

FILES, THIS IS A WAR GOING BACK

AND FORTH AND THE STAKES ARE SO

HIGH BECAUSE THE WINNER FACES

BLAKE LIVELY.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THAT'S WHERE WE ARE, THE LATEST

UPDATE IS TOMORROW APPARENTLY

ELON IS GOING TO BE COMING BY

THE WHITE HOUSE TO PICK UP HIS

CDs AND THE MIX TAPE THEY MADE

TOGETHER.

HE SAID FOR THE BOTH OF US,

TRUMP, MAYBE IT'S BETTER IF YOU

ARE THERE.

IT LOOKS LIKE IT MAY GO FROM A

WAR OF WORDS TO OTHER STUFF,

TRUMP IS SAYING HE MIGHT CANCEL

ELON'S SUBSIDIES AND CONTRACTS.

I GUESS IN THE END HE DID SAVE

THE TAXPAYER MONEY.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

HE NOW SAYS HE MIGHT START HIS

OWN POLITICAL PARTY-- WOW.

THAT COULD BE INTERESTING.

I DON'T KNOW IF WE ARE READY FOR

A PARTY FROM A GUY WHO'S ON

MUSHROOMS, ECSTASY, AND

KETAMINE.

ALTHOUGH THE CONVENTION DOES

SOUND LIKE A BLAST.

WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW!

STEPHANIE RUHLE AND JONAH

GOLDBERG ARE HERE, BUT FIRST...

SHE'S A COMEDIAN, WRITER,

PRODUCER, AND HOST OF THE "GOOD

SHE'S CURRENTLY TOURING

NATIONWIDE WITH HER LATEST

STAND-UP SHOW, "BIG BABY":

WHITNEY CUMMINGS.

♪ ♪

WHILE THE NEW DAY.

THERE'S SO MUCH TO BE UPSET

ABOUT.

I'M GOOD TO.

IF YOU GO DOMINIC RAAB IN AN

ALCOHOLIC HOME, THIS IS YOUR

Bill: I SENT OUT THE BAT

SIGNAL FOR YOU, WE'RE GOING TO

TALK ABOUT-- I AM OBSESSED WITH

ROBOTS.

THEY ARE TAKING OVER.

I HAVE A SEX ROBOT, I'LL GIVE

IT TO YOU FOR A STEAL, I WILL

NEGOTIATE WITH YOU $10 FINAL

OFFER.

Bill: I WANT YOU HERE

YOU'RE LESS SPECIAL, ONE OF THE

RECENT ONES IT WAS A LOT ABOUT

ROBOTS.

YOU DID A LOT OF DEEP DIVING

INTO THE SUBJECT AND I THOUGHT I

GOT TO GET HER HERE TO TALK

ABOUT THIS, THE ONLY THING I CAN

THINK ABOUT IT'S HAPPENING AND

CHANGING SO RAPIDLY, I DON'T

THINK PEOPLE ARE ON TO IT.

WHERE ARE YOU WITH WHAT'S GOING

ON WITH ROBOTS?

YOU HAD YOUR OWN ROBOT, YOU HAVE

ROBOT WHITNEY.

THERE'S ROBOT WHITNEY.

[LAUGHTER]

CAN YOU TELL WHICH IS WHICH?

[LAUGHTER]

I HAD A ROBOT MADE IN MY

LIKENESS FOR A STAND UP SPECIAL

WHEN I WAS TALKING ABOUT ROBOTS

AND THE IMPLICATIONS, I HAVE A

SPECIAL CALLED "CAN I TOUCH IT"

IT IS ON NETFLIX NOW AND I DID

LEARN A LOT.

I THOUGHT I WOULD END UP LOOKING

LIKE A CRAPPY SCARECROW I

THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A

I WENT DOWN TO THE TECHNOLOGY

WAS SO GOOD I ENDED UP PUTTING

Bill: WHAT YEAR IS THIS?

MAYBE FIVE YEARS AGO?

A LOT HAS CHANGED, BEFORE

ChatGPT.

I DO STILL HAVE THE ROBOT,

THIS IS WHAT NOBODY WARNS YOU

ABOUT IF YOU GET A ROBOT IN YOUR

LIKENESS WHAT HAPPENS AS YOU AGE

AND THEY DON'T.

SO YOU END UP HAVING, YOU HAVE

THIS BITCH IN YOUR PODCAST

STUDIO THAT'S YOUR FORMER FACE

BEFORE THE LIFE WAS DRAINED OUT

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO

WITH HER NOW-- DO I AGE HER UP?

I'M NOT GETTING BOTOX, I QUIT

GETTING BOTOX.

I FIND IT ODD THAT YOU WANT TO

LOOK AS YOUNG AS POSSIBLE-- WHY

YOU'RE TRYING TO BAIT PEDOPHILES

Bill: YOU LOOK GREAT.

I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHEN

I'M MAD AT THEM.

I THINK IT'S HELPFUL.

I WONDER WITH THE ROBOTS I GUESS

I'M NOT AS SCARED BECAUSE I FEEL

LIKE HUMANS ARE ALREADY TURNING

INTO ROBOTS IN THE WAY.

I THINK WE ARE BEHAVING IN A

ROBOTIC WAY SAYING THINGS

PROGRAMMED TO SAY WITHOUT

HUMANS RIGHT NOW LOOK LIKE

GLITCHING ROBOTS TO ME AND I

WONDER SOMETIMES, HALF THE TIME

I TAKE THAT QUIZ ON THE WEBSITES

TO ASK ME FROM A ROBOT OR NOT

HALF THE TIME I GET THE QUIZ

WRONG.

DOES A SHADOW OF A BIKE COUNT IS

A BIKE?

WHY AM I LOOKING AT A GRAINY

PHOTO OF A CRACK HOUSE, AM A

ROBOT?

ALL THE PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN

ABOUT BEING ONLINE AND TROLLS,

HALF OF ONLINE ACTIVITY NOW IS

TROLLS, WE ARE ENGAGING WITH

THEM AND TALKING WITH THEM

ACTING AS IF THEY ARE HUMAN, WE

ALL KNOW SOMEONE-- ME-- WHO

STROLLS LIKE A ROBOT AND WE ARE

LIKE ALREADY ALREADY THERE WITH

HER OWN FLESH BODIES?

IT'S HARD TO TELL.

Bill: I SEE ARE NOT TAKING

THIS AS SERIOUSLY--

IT'S OKAY.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M REALLY

WORRIED ABOUT, WE WILL

ANTHROPOMORPHIZE THEM AND START

Bill: ALREADY!

PEOPLE HAVE BOYFRIENDS AND

GIRLFRIENDS.

THEY HAVE AI BOYFRIENDS.

TOTALLY, YES.

IT'S FASCINATING BECAUSE I'M ONE

OF THOSE PEOPLE ONE YOU SEE A

ROOM BUT GETS STUCK UNDER THE

COUCH I'M LIKE BUDDY-- I HAVE

THIS ROBOT THAN EVERYONE IS LIKE

WHERE IS SHE, I WOULD LOVE TO

THROW HER AWAY.

EVEN WHEN YOU LEAVE THE ROOM I'M

LIKE DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE THE TV

ON?

I FEEL BAD.

I THINK WE PROJECT.

EYE OF COURSE WORRY ABOUT WITH

THE ROBOTS ARE GOING TO DO BUT I

WORRY ABOUT WHAT HUMANS ARE

GOING TO DO TO EACH OTHER TRYING

TO PROTECT ROBOTS THEY PROJECTED

Bill: I'M AFRAID TO INSULT

I USED TO SWEAR AT MY CAR, I'M

NOT PROUD OF IT--

THE CAR IS A SHE, I THINK

THAT'S WHY GUYS YELL AT THEIR

CAR SO MUCH.

Bill: THE BOYS AS A WOMAN.

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE A

Bill: I DIDN'T MAKE THE

CAR!

I TALK TO IT, AN INANIMATE

OBJECT IN A WAY I DON'T HAVE

REAL LIFE.

NO YOU DUMB BITCH, I DID NOT.

KNOW I'M AFRAID TO DO THAT.

I TREAT MY CAR VERY POLITELY,

THAT'S SICK.

I GET OUT OF THAT CAR I TREAT

THE CAR LIKE I'M ON A DATE AND

THE FATHER HAS MONEY.

IT IS WILD, LOOKING AT THIS

WHOLE THING WITH ELON TAKING

THESE DRUGS I'M LIKE MAYBE THIS

IS GOOD BECAUSE THE ROBOTS ARE

GOING TO BE AS COMPASSIONATE AS

THE PEOPLE MAKING THE ROBOTS.

I'M LIKE TAKE ALL THE MUSHROOMS

YOU NEED TO TAKE.

WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO.

WAITED TO MAKE SURE THE PEOPLE

BUILDING THE ROBOTS AREN'T

Bill: YOU HAD A BABY--

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING DOWN

Bill: YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE

YOU HAD A BABY.

YOU LOOK THINNER THAN EVER.

THANK YOU.

Bill: HOW DOES THE BABY FIT

IN W WITH THE ROBOTS?

MY ROBOT BREASTFED THE BABY,

THERE'S ALREADY MICROPLASTICS IN

OUR BREAST MILK IT MIGHT BE

SAFER.

IT HAS BEEN AN ENLIGHTENING

EXPERIENCE I'M GLAD THAT I DID

IT I DIDN'T HAVE A CHILD UNTIL

WAY LATER IN LIFE, I NEVER

THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD HAPPEN FOR

ME AND I HAD A KID WITH A

STRANGER OUT OF NOWHERE AT 40,

WHITE TRASH UNTIL I DIE.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE THE

WEST VIRGINIA OUT OF THIS ONE.

Bill: YOU'RE RAISING IT

ALONE?

I AM COPARENTING WITH A

COMPLETE STRANGER.

[LAUGHTER]

Bill: THEN THEY'RE NOT A

STRANGER, YOU MUST HAVE TO MAKE

ARRANGEMENTS.

YEAH.

THAT'S WITH A ROBOT COMES IN.

Bill: I DON'T WANT TO PRY.

PLEASE, IT'S BEEN FASCINATING

I'VE BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY

THROUGH MOTHERHOOD WHERE I'VE

ALWAYS BEEN A LIBERAL PERSON,

MAYBE EVEN A LIBTARD, ONCE YOU

HAVE A KID YOU START HAVING

AS SOON AS I HAD A KID I WAS

LIKE I NEED A GUN COME ON NOW.

BECAUSE I HAVE COYOTES IN MY

BEFORE I HAD A KID I WAS LIKE

THEY COEXIST WITH US, THEY WERE

HERE FIRST.

I'M IN THE COYOTES HOME, NO I'M

LIKE LET'S MAKE HATS OUT OF

THEM, LET'S MAKE BOOTS, COYOTE

EARRINGS OUT OF THEIR EYEBALLS.

Bill: DO YOU TAKE THE KID

ON THE ROAD?

SOMETIMES, IT DEPENDS.

Bill: HOW OLD NOW?

A YEAR AND A HALF.

[APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU!

I DON'T KNOW WHY I GET APPLAUSE

IT'S LITERALLY THE LEAST

IMPRESSIVE THING IS EVER DONE,

ALL I DID WAS LIE THERE.

Bill: USUALLY THE AUDIENCE

APPLAUSE ONE YEAR REALLY OLD--

A YEAR AND A HALF?

HE MADE IT TO A YEAR AND A HALF!

I THINK IT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE

OLDER THEY ARE SHOCKED I

SURVIVED CHILDBIRTH OR SOMETHIN

SOMETHING.

Bill: HOW DOES THAT WORK,

HOW CAN YOU HAVE A KID ON THE

ROAD WHO WATCHES THEM WHEN

YOU'RE ON?

HIS BIOLOGICAL MOTHER, MY

NANNY TAKES A VERY GOOD OF HIM.

I HAVE SOMEONE WHO HELPS BUT

IT'S BEEN A WILD WAY TO SEE

THINGS FROM A DIFFERENT

ONCE YOU HAVE A KID YOU START

LOOKING AT EVERYTHING

I USED TO BE OBSESSED WITH

SCIENTIFIC STUDIES THAT'S ONE

WAY PEOPLE LIKE US FEEL LIKE WE

HAVE CONTROL IN THE WORLD TO.

BUT I LOOK AT THINGS SO

DIFFERENTLY NOW.

YOU KNOW THE STUDY GIRLS MATURE

FASTER THAN BOYS?

Bill: WHO NEEDS A STUDY TO

[LAUGHTER]

I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND WHO'S 43

YEARS OLD STILL AT COACHELLA, IT

ENDED TWO MONTHS AGO.

SHE'S LOOKING FOR HER CHARGER--

MAYBE GIRLS MATURE FASTER THAN

BOYS BUT NOW THAT I HAVE A KID

I'M LIKE WHO IS PUTTING BOYS AND

GIRLS IN A CAGE TO STUDY THEM,

LIKE WAS MATURING FASTER?

I DON'T KNOW IF WE NEED THIS--

YOU JUST START SEEING THINGS

SLIGHTLY DIFFERENTLY.

Bill: I KNOW YOU HAVE SAID

I'M TOO LEFT FOR THE RIGHT AND

TO WRITE FOR THE LEFT AND I FEEL

LIKE I'M IN THE SAME PLACE.

WHEN PEOPLE DISAGREE WITH PEOPLE

LIKE US THEY SAY WE ARE

DO YOU GET THAT A LOT?

YOU'VE CHANGED?

I HOPE SO.

I REALLY HOPE I DON'T HAVE THE

SAME THOUGHTS I HAD WHEN I WAS

20 YEARS OLD.

THAT'S FASCINATING TO ME THAT

PEOPLE COME AT YOU AND SAY

CONSPIRACY THEORISTS.

I HAD THIS JOURNALIST FROM

"NEW YORK MAGAZINE" AND SHE JUST

WANTED TO HATE ME AFTER I DID

THIS THING ON CNN ON

NEW YEAR'S EVE IT WAS LIFE AND

I'VE RATTLED OFF A BUNCH OF

THINGS THAT I THOUGHT THE

ESTABLISHMENT MEDIA WOULD NEVER

MORE FOR COMEDY AND I SAID HOW

COME TWO CHEFS-- TO GO

PRESIDENTIAL CHEFS DROWNED?

SHE CAME OVER AND SHE WAS LIKE

BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT CONSPIRACY

THEORY ABOUT THE CHEFS.

AND I WAS LIKE IS THAT A

CONSPIRACY THEORY?

I RESEARCH OF HARDCORE, I CALLED

JOE ROGAN AND ASKED!

SHE SAID DO YOU WANT SOME TIME

I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT THERE

WAS THE GUY WHO WAS BUSH AND THE

CLINTONS CHEF WHO DROWNED THE

END OF THE OBAMA CHEF WHO

RECENTLY DROWNED AND SHE WAS

LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT,

JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNEW IT

BEFORE YOU DOESN'T MAKE ME A

CONSPIRACY THEORIST.

THERE'S A NEW THING I GUESS IF

WE ARE IN DIFFERENT ALGORITHMS

WE ARE TO THINK DIFFERENT THING

I CALLED A GIRLFRIEND OF MINE--

AVRIL LAVIGNE HAS A NEW SONG OUT

AND I WAS LIKE AVRIL TO MEET HAS

A NEW SONG OUTGOING TO HER SHOW

WAS ONE OF OUR THINGS.

SHE'S LIKE AVRIL LAVIGNE HAS

BEEN DEAD FOR TEN YEARS.

[LAUGHTER]

I FEEL LIKE OUR ALGORITHMS ARE

TEARING US APART.

IT'S FASCINATING BUT AFTER I DID

THAT ON CNN, CONSPIRACY

THEORISTS THINK I'M THEIR

Bill: THIS IS STILL THE WAY

YOU TALK ON THE PHONE?

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S ACTUALLY A BANANA.

Bill: AS LONG AS WE ARE

COMICS WE WILL DO THIS.

YOU HAVE TO.

BUT THE ROBOTS WILL HAVE TAKEN

OVER.

AND WE'LL STILL BE DOING THIS.

I DON'T KNOW, PEOPLE COME UP

TO ME NOW IN AIRPORTS AND THEY

WILL BE LIKE LOVE YOU ON CNN,

PANDAS ARE FAKE.

[LAUGHTER]

PIGEONS ARE DRONES, IT'S A

LITTLE FAR FOR ME.

Bill: THAT ONE IS TRUE.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BABY

PIGEON?

Bill: FUCK.

[LAUGHTER]

THANK YOU FOR COMING BY.

WHITNEY CUMMINGS EVERYBODY!

NEW MOM, ROBOT OWNER.

LET'S MEET OUR PANEL!

♪ ♪

HE'S A CO-FOUNDER OF THE

DISPATCH AND HOST OF "THE

REMNANT" PODCAST: JONAH

GOLDBERG.

SHE'S A SENIOR BUSINESS ANALYST

AND HOST OF MSNBC'S "THE 11TH

HOUR WITH STEPHANIE RUHLE":

STEPHANIE RUHLE.

[APPLAUSE]

WELCOME, LIKE I SAID THERE'S SO

MANY PROBLEMS TO THINK ABOUT,

THE ROBOTS ARE TAKING OVER I'M

GOING TO DWELL ON IT UNTIL WE

REALIZE IT WHICH WILL BE IN

ABOUT FOUR WEEKS WHEN IT

AND WE ARE GOING INTO DEBT AND

OF COURSE MOMMY AND DADDY ARE

FIGHTING.

[LAUGHTER]

I JUST WANT TO SAY AND YOU CAN

COMMENT AS YOU WILL-- I FEEL

LIKE THE UPSHOT OF THE WHOLE

DOGE THING AND THE ELON ERA IS

GOING TO BE ONE OF THE DUST

CLEARS AND ALL THE SILLY

FIGHTING IS OVER, THAT WE DID

GET SOME CLOSURE ABOUT THE

WE SENT IN A GUY WHO WAS AS MEAN

AS HE COULD BE ABOUT IT TO LOOK

FOR ALL THE BLOAT AND I SEE IN

THE PAPER TODAY, THEY ARE

REHIRING PEOPLE.

YOU ARE UNFIRED!

THE MONEY IS WHERE IT HAS ALWAYS

BEEN, NOT WITH THE POST OFFICE,

NOT WITH THE PEOPLE JUST DOING

THEIR REGULAR JOBS, IT'S THE

SOCIAL SECURITY, IT'S THE

MEDICARE, IT'S THE SERVICE ON

THE DEBT, AND IT'S THE PENTAGON.

IT'S WHERE IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN,

IT HASN'T CHANGED AND NOW THAT

TRUMP HAS HIS BIG, BEAUTIFUL

BILL, WE ARE SEEING NO ONE EVER

HAS THE GUTS TO ATTACK WHERE THE

MONEY REALLY IS, AM I WRONG?

THAT'S WHY DOGE WAS A

COLOSSAL WASTED OPPORTUNITY.

BECAUSE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE

WOULD SAY THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T

WORK FOR ME, WE DO WASTE A

TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF MONEY.

THERE WAS A CHANCE TO GO INSIDE

THE GOVERNMENT WITH ACTUAL

EXPERTS.

PEOPLE TO LOOK AGENCY TO AGENCY.

WE KNOW WE HAVE TOO MUCH

REGULATION AND SHOULD WORK ON

IT.

ELON MUSK ROLLS IN AND

ROUGHSHOD, HE HAS TREMENDOUS

BUSINESS EXPERIENCE AND NO

GOVERNMENT EXPERIENCE, HE SAID

HE WAS GOING TO GOT TO GO

TRILLION, THEN WE WERE DOWN TO

150 BILLION AND HE DIDN'T SHOW

THE RECEIPTS.

NOW THEY ARE RUSHING TO HIRE

PEOPLE BACK AND FIRING SCORES OF

PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR THE WEATHER

SERVICE OR SCIENTISTS THAT STUDY

BLACK LUNG IN WEST VIRGINIA WITH

PENNIES.

IT WAS A COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME

AND IF YOU WANTED TO TAKE A

SWING, IT IS AT THE BIG, GIANT

THINGS LIKE MEDICARE, MEDICAID,

AND SOCIAL SECURITY.

ELON MUSK-- I'M NOT SAYING I

WANT TO CUT THOSE THINGS--

ELON MUSK WOULD'VE BEEN HAPPY TO

CUT THOSE THINGS.

HE CONSIDERS SOCIAL SECURITY TO

BE A PONZI SCHEME.

THE PROBLEM IS REPUBLICANS CAN'T

GET ELECTED IF YOU WANT TO CUT

THOSE THINGS AND THAT'S WHERE

THE RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD.

Bill: NO ONE CAN GET

ELECTED IF YOU CUT THEM.

THAT'S A BIG PART OF THE

PROBLEM AND I BASICALLY AGREE

WITH YOU, I THINK PART OF THE

PROBLEM WAS THAT-- I THINK

THERE'S A LOT OF COST SAVINGS TO

BE DONE IN REFORMING AND

STREAMLINING AND MODERNIZING BUT

TAKING THE BUYOUT THING.

AL GORE TRIED THAT IN THE

1990s TOO.

THE PROBLEM IS IT YOU ARE THE

KIND OF PERSON WHO CAN GET A

BETTER JOB ON THE FREE MARKET,

YOU TAKE THE BUYOUTS BECAUSE

YOUR SKILLS ARE COMPETITIVE.

IF YOUR DEAD WEIGHT THAT KNOWS

THE ONLY THING YOU'RE USEFUL FOR

IS THIS JOB, YOU DON'T TAKE IT

YOU END UP FIRING TALENTED

PEOPLE, LOSING TALENTED PEOPLE

AND KEEPING A LOT OF DEADWEIGHT

THE BASIC PROBLEM WHICH I THINK

YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT IS MUSK

DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT

PEOPLE UP AND SAYING THAT WE

NEED TO RUN GOVERNMENT LIKE A

BUSINESS THE PROBLEM IS

GOVERNMENT ISN'T A BUSINESS.

IF YOU COME IN LIKE A

SILICON VALLEY GUY SAYING WE ARE

GOING TO BREAK EVERYTHING AND

REBUILD ALL THAT STUFF IT

DOESN'T WORK FOR LARGE

GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRACIES.

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THE REAL

MONEY IS IN THE BIG ENTITLEMENT

PROGRAMS THAT DO NEED TO BE

Bill: THERE'S GOING TO.

THE DEBT IS NOW $29 TRILLION.

THE SERVICE ON THE DEBT IS

EITHER THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING

IN THE BUDGET OR VERY SOON WILL

BE.

JUST SERVICING THE DEBT TO.

GETS YOU NOTHING ACCEPT PAYING

BANKS OFF.

SOCIAL SECURITY IS GOING TO GO

INSOLVENT IN 11 YEARS, IS THAT

RIGHT?

EARLY 30s.

Bill: AND MEDICARE ALSO.

THINK ABOUT THE DIVIDE,

SENIOR CITIZENS ARE SAYING I

WORKED ALL THESE YEARS I PAID IT

OF THE SYSTEM, YOU'RE GOING TO

PAY ME THESE BENEFITS AND YOUNG

PEOPLE ARE SAYING-- AND THOSE

SENIOR CITIZENS ARE SHOWING UP

TO VOTE AND YOUNG PEOPLE ARE

SAYING THIS SYSTEM DOESN'T WORK

FOR ME I'M NEVER GOING TO GET

PAID OUT, I WANT TO BREAK THE

NOW YOU'VE GOT POLITICIANS IN

THE MIDDLE.

THEY CANNOT GET ELECTED UNLESS

THEY ADDRESS THIS SYSTEM AND IF

WE DON'T ADDRESS THE SYSTEM WE

ARE GOING TO HAVE A HUGE PROBLE

Bill: AND THE PEOPLE WHO

VOTE ARE OLDER.

THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO VOTE FOR

THAT.

WHEN SOCIAL SECURITY STARTED,

HOW MANY WORKERS PAID IN 42 NOW

IT'S 2.7?

WE WENT TO 42 PAYING IN THE TO

2.7, AND WE'VE LIVED LONGER.

WHEN NIKKI HALEY RAISED THE

IDEA OF RAISING THE AGE-- I'M

NOT SAYING SHE'S RIGHT OR WRONG

BUT EVEN REPUBLICANS WENT

BALLISTIC ON HER.

HOW DO WE ADDRESS OUR PROBLEMS?

THE ISSUE IS WE DON'T WANT TO.

SO MANY PEOPLE SAID I'M GOING TO

VOTE FOR TRUMP, HE'S GOING TO

BREAK THE SYSTEM, AND ALL THE

THINGS HE'S BROKEN THE ART OF

SOLVING THE MEDICARE OR MEDICAID

OR SOCIAL SECURITY ISSUES.

LOOK AT TARIFFS.

MY BIG PROBLEM WITH DOGE AND

IT PROVED GOVERNMENT LIKE A

BUSINESS IS WHORISH IT.

HORSE SHITS-- THE

IDEA THAT YOU'RE GETTING RID OF

WOKE BASKET WEAVING, BUT THAT'S

FRACTIONS OF A PENNY ON THE

DOLLAR.

AT THE END OF THE DAY THE WAY

YOU'VE GOT TO FIX THIS IS DOING

SOMETHING PAUL RYAN WAS

DEMONIZED FOR.

THEY SHOWED ADS OF HIM PUSHING

OLD LADIES OFF THE CLIFF.

ANYBODY OVER THE AGE OF 50 WILL

GET THE BENEFITS THAT THEY GET,

THE BENEFITS THAT YOU GET ON

SOCIAL SECURITY ARE FAR MORE

THAN YOU PAY INTO IT.

THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS WHY

IT'S GOING BROKE.

ANYBODY BELOW 50 YOU'RE GOING TO

CHANGE THE STRUCTURE OVER THIS

SO WE CAN EXTEND THE LIFE OF

THIS THING AND IT WAS DEMONIZED.

THE PROBLEM NOW IS THE

DEMOCRATIC PARTY WHICH HAS

COMPLETELY BOUGHT INTO THIS

MYTHOLOGY THAT THESE ENTITLEMENT

PROGRAMS CAN GO ON FOREVER AND

THERE'S NO PROBLEM WITH THEM,

THAT'S NOW A BIPARTISAN THING.

DONALD TRUMP DOES NOT GIVE A

RATS ASS ABOUT TRIMMING

Bill: THEY NEVER DID.

AT LEAST THEY LIED ABOUT IT.

Bill: AT LEAST THEY LIED

ABOUT IT, YOU'RE RIGHT.

[APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER]

PAUL RYAN IS A FRIEND OF MINE,

PAUL RYAN REALLY BELIEVED THAT

HE JUST COULDN'T CLOSE THE DEAL

AND NOW NEITHER PARTY IS

ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN FIXING IT

AND THAT'S THE DILEMMA.

WE ARE GOING TO LOOK BACK ON

DOGE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE

TO CUT AND THE ONLY THING IT DID

WAS HURT, IT DIDN'T ANYTHING

WE WERE ALL GOING TO GET $5,000

CHECKS, GIVE ME A BREAK.

IT WAS BILL GATES WHO TOOK A

LOOK AT IT AND HONESTLY SAID THE

RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD IS

KILLING THE POOREST CHILDREN IN

THE WORLD AND WHAT DOES THAT GET

IT ONLY HURTS HUMANITY.

[APPLAUSE]

Bill: I HAVE MORE BAD NEWS,

THERE WILL ALSO BE NO ONE LEFT

WITH A JOB TO PAY TAXES TO HAVE

ANYTHING LEFT IN THE BUDGET TO.

ARE YOU TAKING US TO THE

'S BE WHAT I AM TAKING YOU TO

THE ROBOTS.

THE CEO OF ANTHROPIC, ONE OF THE

MOST POWERFUL CREATORS OF

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE AS THE

GOVERNMENT NEEDS TO STOP

SUGARCOATING THE POSSIBLE MASS

ELIMINATION OF JOBS.

IT'S COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE

TO ME, WE SEE IT ALREADY.

HE SAYS AI COULD WIPE OUT HALF

OF ALL ENTRY-LEVEL WHITE-COLLAR

JOBS.

WE KNOW WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON

WITH BLUE-COLLAR JOBS, I SAW

LAST WEEK SOME TRUCKING COMPANY

I THINK THEY WERE CALLED AURORA

HAVE A TRUCK ALREADY THAT DROVE

1200 MILES-- IT DIDN'T, WAYNE O

IT IS GOING TO BE WAYMO MISERY,

NO ONE IS GOING TO HAVE A JOB

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I AGREE WITH SOMETHING THAT

WHITNEY ALLUDED TO EARLIER THE

THING THAT SCARES ME THE MOST

ABOUT AI STUFF IS THAT IT'S GOOD

TO RUN OUR LIVES IT'S PEOPLE WHO

THINK AI SHOULD RUN OUR LIVES

WILL MAKE THE CASE THAT AI

THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TURN IT

INTO A CULT AND HAND US OVER TO

ROBOTS ARE GOING TO GET TOO MUCH

POWER.

THAT SAID I DON'T TRUST ANYBODY

WHO RUNS AN AI COMPANY WHO SAYS

IT'S GOING TO HAVE THIS RADICAL

EFFECT BECAUSE THAT'S THEM

TALKING ABOUT HOW GREAT THEIR

OWN COMPANY IS.

IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE

ENTIRELY WRONG WITH US A LOT OF

HYPE THAT COMES FROM PEOPLE IN

THE AI BUSINESS ABOUT HOW

TRANSFORMATIVE IT IS THAT WE

HAVEN'T SEEN YET TO.

Bill: IT CAN DO A LOT OF

JOBS.

IT'S GOING TO BE DISRUPTIVE

BUT THE HISTORY OF TECHNOLOGY IS

ALWAYS DISRUPTIVE.

Bill: NOT LIKE THIS.

I THINK IT'S DIFFERENT.

THERE WERE GOING TO BE

BIDEN HAD A PROGRAM CALLED THE

AI SAFETY INSTITUTION.

HOWARD LUTNICK, THE COMMERCE

HE SAYS "WE AREN'T GOING TO

REGULATE IT."

HE CHANGE THE TITLE, NOW IT'S

THE CENTER FOR AI INNOVATION.

THEY ARE JUST GOOD TO WHISTLE

PAST THE GRAVEYARD.

THE SAME THING THE ENVIRONMENT,

THE DEATH, FUCKING ROBOTS, YES.

WE ARE ALL DOING THE SAME THING

IN THE ARGUMENT IS WE CAN'T LET

CHINA WIN.

IS THAT REALLY THE ARGUMENT?

I GET THE RATIONALE FOR THIS.

IT'S AN ARMS RACE OF SORTS.

WHAT IF NOT LETTING CHINA WIND

MAKES US ALL LOSE?

HAVING NO GUARD RAILS SERVES

NO ONE BUT THESE AI INNOVATORS

THAT WANT NO RULES.

THIS IS LIKE MY SONS SAYING WE

WANT NO RULES AND WANTED

THEY'RE GOING TO WANT THAT FOR

TWO WEEKS, THEN ALL THE

FURNITURE IS GOING TO BE IN THE

POOL AND THERE'S NO FOOD IN THE

HOUSE BUT BOY TO THOSE BOYS HAVE

A GREAT EXPERIENCE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

ELON MUSK AND OTHERS WERE GET ON

THE ROCKETS AND TO GO.

WHAT WE NEED A SMART REGULATION.

THERE IS THIS IDEA THAT

REGULATION STANDS IN THE WAY OF

PROGRESS.

WE NEED SMART, GOOD REGULATION.

[APPLAUSE]

I'M FINE WITH SOME REGULATION

OF AI, I'M NOT A HUGE AI

BOOSTER.

I THINK YOU SAID BEFORE ABOUT

ITS BEING TOO FAR LEFT FOR THE

RIGHT AND TOO FAR RIGHT FOR THE

LEFT, I'M MUCH MORE SKEPTICAL

WHEN I LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO ARE

HUGE AI BOOSTERS AND I MUCH MORE

SKEPTICAL WHEN PEOPLE TOTALLY

DISMISS AI.

ENTRY LEVEL JOBS, A LOT OF-- IF

YOU'RE A PARALEGAL, DOCUMENT

REVIEW, AI IS COMING FOR YOUR

JOB.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT INCREASE

PRODUCTIVITY DOESN'T TRANSLATE

INTO NEW JOBS AND NEW THINGS

BEING CREATED, IT IS GOING TO BE

REALLY DISRUPTIVE FOR A WHILE.

Bill: LIKE WHAT?

GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF THAT.

AI GO THROUGH IS THIS COMPANY,

TAKES ALL THE PROGRAMMING JOBS

COME ENTRY-LEVEL JOBS,

CONSULTANT-- THAT BULLSHIT JOB

IS DEFINITELY GOING AWAY.

I SEE PEOPLE DO IT ALREADY,

ChatGPT ON THEIR PHONE.

THESE COMPANIES ARE ADOPTING

AI TO PRODUCE SOMETHING.

Bill: FIRE WORKERS, MAKE

MORE MONEY, THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE

THAN THAT MONEY GETS SPENT ON

THINGS.

THE JOBS THAT REQUIRE--

Bill: NO ONE HAS ANY MONEY

TO BUY WITH IT.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE

REPLACED BY AI.

Bill: I'M NOT TYPICAL, THIS

IS NOT A TYPICAL JOB.

YOU'RE RIGHT, I HOPE I WILL NOT

BE REPLACED BY AI.

BUT IT ALREADY CAN WRITE JOKES,

THEY DO START FUCKING GOOD TO.

UNDERWHELMED--

Bill: THIS IS A

CYBERSECURITY PLATFORM--

THE CEO SAID WHEN IT COMES TO

DECISIONS OF HOW WE HAVE TO

IMPLEMENT IT OR SECURE AGAINST

IT, SIX WEEK BASIS.

IN OTHER WORDS WE CAN'T PLAN

ANYTHING MORE THAN SIX WEEKS

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW FAST IT IS

CHANGING, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

WHAT WE NEED IS THE SMARTEST

PEOPLE WORKING ON IT AND I WANT

TO GO BACK TO HOWARD LUTNICK

SAYING WE AREN'T GOING TO

REGULATE IT TO.

IN 2022 HALF OF THE GRADUATES IN

THE UNITED STATES THAT RECEIVED

A DOCTORATE DEGREES IN AN AI

FIELD, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WERE?

WE ARE NOW SAYING WE DON'T WANT

INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS HERE, WE

ARE DEFUNDING UNIVERSITIES, IF

WE WANT TO HAVE THE SMARTEST AND

THE BEST LET'S HAVE THOSE PEOPLE

WORKING ON IT.

HALF THE PEOPLE WHO START AI

COMPANIES ARE IMMIGRANTS.

Bill: TOTALLY AGREE WITH

THAT, GOING TO GET TO THAT ISSUE

IN A MINUTES.

LET'S GET ALL THE BAD NEWS OUT

OF THE WAY NOW, I HAVE ONE MORE

BIT OF TERRIBLE NEWS.

IN TOUCH MAGAZINE--

THIS IS THE LAST ISSUE.

IT'S GOING OUT OF BUSINESS, WE

ALL GREW UP ON IT.

[LAUGHTER]

JUST GO WITH THE PREMISE, WILL

YOU?

THE AGE OF MAGAZINE IS REALLY

DIANE, WE ARE IN THE TIKTOK AGE

AND SOCIAL MEDIA.

TOO BAD, I LOVED IN TOUCH.

VISITED MAGAZINE COMING OUT

CALLED "OUT OF TOUCH."

IT'S LEANING INTO THE FACT THAT

IT'S NOT THE AGE OF MAGAZINES,

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE SOME OF

THE ARTICLES?

IT'S RI RIGHT IN THE COVER!

ELLEN PAGE: FUN, FLIRTY, SHORT

PLANNING YOUR PLANTATION

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THESE PEOPLE ARE OUT OF TOUCH.

3 EASY EGG RECIPES FOR UNDER 5

DOLLARS.

[LAUGHTER]

WIN AN INTERNSHIP WITH P.

DIDDY!

DOES JARED FROM SUBWAY STILL

WANT KIDS?

[LAUGHTER]

SEXIEST MAN ALIVE BRUCE JENNER.

[LAUGHTER]

CAN ANYTHING STOP BETO O'ROURKE?

SOMETHING POLITICAL!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NEW YORK, NEW YORK: PERFECT

DESTINATION FOR HEALTHCARE CEOS!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

GENE HACKMAN: WHERE IS HE NOW?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

EVERYTHING I DO IS TOO SOON,

IT'S THE BRAND HERE.

LET'S GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE

SAYING ABOUT IMMIGRATION I

COULDN'T AGREE MORE, WE ARE

HAVING A BRAIN DRAIN AND IT

COULD WIND UP BEING ONE OF THE

WORST THINGS ABOUT THINGS WE

DON'T LIKE THAT ARE GOING OUT OF

THIS ADMINISTRATION, WE ARE

HAVING A BRAIN DRAIN.

OUR SECRET SAUCE WAS WE STEAL

THE BREAST OF BRAINS FROM AROUND

THE WORLD AND NOW A LOT OF THE

BEST BRAINS ARE BUGGING OUT.

FOR THE DEMOCRATS, THEY REALLY

DID NOT DO THEIR BRAND A FAVOR

BY HAVING OPEN BORDERS BECAUSE

I'M SURE YOU SAW THIS WEEK A GUY

NAMED MOHAMMED SOLIMAN TURNED A

GARDEN HOSE INTO A FLAMETHROWER

AND ATTACKED ELDERLY JEWISH

WHEN THEY DO HEINOUS, THEY

REALLY DO HEINOUS.

THE GLOBAL INTIFADA IS COMING

HERE.

YOU SAY THIS OFTEN ENOUGH AS

THEY HAVE ON CAMPUS, BRING THE

INTIFADA HERE, LET'S HAVE IT ALL

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DO THIS KIND

OF THING.

THAT'S THE REASON WHY THEY LOOK

AT SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND SAY

LET'S GET EVERYBODY OUT OF THE

COUNTRY AND THIS IS WHERE WE AR

I AGREE WITH YOU ENTIRELY,

WHEN PEOPLE SAY GLOBALIZE THE

INTIFADA THAT'S WHAT THEY MEAN I

AGREE ENTIRELY.

WHAT I DISAGREE WITH IS THE

METAPHOR OF BRAIN DRAIN.

BRAIN DRAIN IS SOMETHING YOU TRY

TO FIGHT.

STATES HAVE BRAIN DRAINS, YOUNG

PEOPLE-- THIS IS A BRAIN FLUSH.

THIS IS A DELIBERATE ATTEMPT TO

PUSH OUT FOREIGN STUDENTS,

PROFESSORS, ALL THAT KIND OF

I'M VERY MUCH IN FAVOR OF

FIGHTING ANTI-SEMITISM AT

HARVARD I DON'T GET THE FLEX OF

CANCELING CANCER RESEARCH TO

FIGHT ANTI-SEMITISM.

THIS IS A STEPHEN MILLER THING

WHICH IS THEY BASICALLY TRY TO

CLAIM WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A

CIVILIZATIONAL CRISIS AND

ANYBODY WHO IS AN IMMIGRANT HERE

IS A THREAT TO THE SOCIETY AND I

Bill: THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE

SAYING BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE.

FOR SURE COME OUT WE CAN MAKE

Bill: IS THERE A CASE TO BE

MADE FOR ASKING SOMEONE WHEN

THEY COME IN TO THIS COUNTRY

WHAT ARE YOUR VALUES?

ARE THEY SO FAR AFIELD FROM

WHERE AMERICA IS?

THIS GUY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT

HOW HE DIDN'T THINK-- JIHAD WAS

MORE IMPORTANT TO HIM THAN HIS

WIFE, HIS MOTHER, AND HIS

CHILDREN.

THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN A

RED FLAG TO.

CLEARLY THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN A

RED FLAG.

Bill: YOU'RE SAYING WE CAN

SAY YOU CAN'T COME INTO OUR

IT REMINDS ME OF THE 9/11 GUY

WHO TALKED TO THE PERSON AT THE

AVIATION SCHOOL AND SAID HE

DIDN'T WANT TO LEARN HOW TO LAN

THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN A RED FLAG

TOO.

I THINK YOU CAN DRAW THESE

THE IDEA THAT THE GARDENER DOWN

THE STREET OR THE FRENCH CANCER

RESEARCHER SHOULD GET LUMPED

IN-- IF WE ARE GOING TO HAVE

LARGE GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRACIES

DOING THINGS IT'S TO MAKE

DISTINCTIONS FOR THOSE KINDS OF

THINGS.

THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN ON THAT.

BUT NOW WE HAVE BECOME SO

DIVIDED AND SO ANGRY WE ARE

MEETING HATE WITH HATE AND ONE

COULD REASONABLY ARGUE A GUY

LIKE STEPHEN MILLER SHOULDN'T BE

THE ONE DECIDING WHAT DECENCY

AND WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO COME

TOGETHER AND SAY RATHER THAN

JUST FIGHT MORE HATE, HOW DO WE

GET TO BE PRO-DECENCY?

PRO COMPASSION?

I'D ACTUALLY LOVE?

WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT PATRIOTISM,

PATRIOTISM IS ABOUT LOVE OF

WANT TO HEAR THIS ADMINISTRATION

TALK ABOUT THE THINGS-- IT'S

ALL ABOUT THE GRIEVANCE AND

IF YOU GET US BACK TO A PLACE OF

COMMON DECENCY AND LOVING THY

NEIGHBOR, IT'S NOT ABOUT

ANTI-IMMIGRATION.

Bill: I CAN IMAGINE PEOPLE

OUT THERE HEARING THIS AND

SAYING THE GUY WITH A

FLAMETHROWER, HE WASN'T EXACTLY

FULL OF LOVE.

HE WASN'T FULL OF LOVE FOR

THAT'S SOMEBODY WHO IS ROLLING

THEIR EYES AND DISMISSING THE

IDEA OF LOVE AND THE IDEA OF

LOVE THERE IS NOTHING MORE

POWERFUL.

IT'S WHAT STARTS WARS AND ENDS

Bill: FLAMETHROWERS ARE

VERY POWERFUL.

BUT WE'RE NOT GOING TO SET

GOVERNMENT POLICY BASED ON WHAT

ONE HORRIBLE INDIVIDUAL IN A

TERRIBLE ACT-- WE SHOULD BE

THINKING ABOUT THE VICTIMS AND

WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO TO PROTECT

Bill: IS NOT JUST ONE.

I AGREE WITH THE THRUST OF

WHAT YOU'RE SAYING AT THE SAME

TIME YOU HAVE LOTS OF COLLEGE

CAMPUSES INCLUDING THESE ELITE

SCHOOLS THAT DO NOT TEACH

PATRIOTISM AND LOVE OF COUNTRY.

THE NARRATIVE OF COLONIAL

OPPRESSORS, YOU SAY MEN CAN GET

PREGNANT YOU GET KICKED OUT AND

THROWN INTO REEDUCATION BUT IF

YOU SAY GAS THE JEWS, YET GOT TO

HEAR BOTH SIDES, FREE SPEECH.

THAT STUFF MATTERS TOO.

[APPLAUSE]

Bill: RIGHT AFTER THE

FLAMETHROWER MAN DID WHAT HE DID

COLORADO,-- VERY FAR LEFT CITY,

I'VE BEEN THERE, I LOVED IT, I

DID THAT'S A GREAT PLACE TO PLA

PLAY.

THE POLICE CHIEF SAID "WE ARE

NOT CALLING IN A TERROR ATTACK

AT THIS POINT IT'S WAY TOO EARLY

TO SPECULATE MOTIVE."

SPECULATE EMOTIVE?

HE WAS SCREAMING KILL ZIONIST,

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN.

HE ALSO WROTE DOWN AND

RECORDED VIDEOS CONFESSING WHAT

HE WANTED TO DO.

EMERSON HAS THIS GREAT LINE THAT

SAYS SOME CIRCUMSTANTIAL

EVIDENCE IS VERY PERSUASIVE LIKE

WHEN YOU FIND TROUT IN MILK.

WHEN YOU HAVE A GUY SHOOTING

FLAMETHROWERS AT JEWS SAYING HE

WANTS TO BURN ALL THE

SCIENTISTS, YOU DON'T NEED TO

HAVE A DEBATING SOCIETY ABOUT

WHETHER OR NOT YOU COULD CALL

HIM A TERRORIST.

[APPLAUSE]

WHAT WE SHOULD DO, WE ARE NO

LONGER FUNDING OR STAFFING THE

GROUPS IN OUR GOVERNMENT STUDY

DOMESTIC TERRORISM.

WE JUST GOT OF THE OFFICE OF

CIVIL RIGHTS THAT ACTUALLY

STUDIES AND GOES AFTER

ANTI-SEMITISM.

THE GROUPS THAT WORK ON THIS

LET'S CONTINUE TO WORK ON IT.

Bill: MAYBE NOW ELON IS

GONE THEY WILL.

AS LONG AS WE ARE BACK TO THAT

SUBJECT I HAVE ONE MORE THING TO

SAY ABOUT THE BUDGET THING.

WHEN I SAW THE DRONE STRIKE FROM

UKRAINE LAST WEEK IF YOU MISSED

THIS, THE UKRAINIANS DID

SOMETHING THAT WAS JUST WAY

COOLER THAN THE MISSION

IMPOSSIBLE MOVIE THAT'S OUT NOW.

WHICH IS PRETTY COOL I HEAR.

REMEMBER THE BEEPER ATTACK?

THAT WAS PRETTY COOL ABOUT A

YEAR AGO THEY KILLED ALL THE

TERRORISTS WITH BEEPERS.

THIS UP TO THE GAME.

THEY HID TO ALL DRONES INSIDE OF

TRUCK, HAD A GUY WHO DID NOT

KNOW IT WAS IN HIS TRUCK, DROVE

IT INTO RUSSIA THAN THEY CAME

OUT THE ROOF ALL ON THEIR OWN

AND DESTROYED THE PLANES THAT

RUSSIA WAS USING TO BOMB

UKRAINE-- NOT ALL OF THEM BUT

AND I THOUGHT THIS REALLY PUTS

THE LIE TO THE OTHER BIG PART OF

THE BUDGET, THE PENTAGON WHICH

I'VE BEEN SAYING FOR EVER HERE

AND ELON SAID HE WAS GOING TO GO

AFTER IT WITH-- THAT NEVER GETS

IT JUST PUTS THE LIE THAT WE

NEED ALL THAT DEFENSE

CONTRACTING.

THIS IS WHERE THE GAME'S,

DRONES.

THEY COST LIKE $2,000 APIECE AND

WE ARE SPENDING A TRILLION

DOLLARS ON TANKS AND THE

SUBMARINES AND OTHER THINGS THAT

WE WILL NEVER USE BECAUSE

THEY'RE ALREADY OBSOLETE.

THE GAME IS ALSO ABOUT BEING

AN ALLY AND A TRUSTED ALLY.

THE FACT THAT UKRAINE DIDN'T

TRUST THAT THE UNITED STATES

ENOUGH TO TELL US ABOUT THAT,

WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT OUR

POSITION IN THE WORLD?

Bill: I DON'T THINK ANY

ALLY WITH A SIMPLE THING YOU

TELL OTHER PEOPLE.

THEY DON'T TRUST US AND THEY

SHOULDN'T TRUST US BUT I DON'T

THINK THEY WOULD DO IT UNDER ANY

CIRCUMSTANCES, WHY WOULD YOU?

WHY WOULD YOU HAVE MORE PEOPLE

KNOWING ABOUT IT WERE NOT

INVOLVED, WHY WOULD YOU TAKE

THAT RISK?

MY QUESTION HERE IS DOES THIS

CHANGE THE GAME?

UP UNTIL THIS MOMENT I THINK A

LOT OF PEOPLE WERE COMING OVER

TO THE IDEA-- THE TRUMPET

DOCTRINE.

HIS THING WAS I DON'T LIKE WAR

AND THIS THING IS GOING TO END

UP WITH RUSSIA GETTING ITS PEACE

ANYWAY, WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE

DYING FOR SOMETHING'S GOING TO

BE INEVITABLE?

RUSSIA IS GOING TO GET ITS BITE

OF UKRAINE.

NOW I DON'T KNOW.

THE SO-CALLED FOREIGN POLICY

REALISTS ARE BASICALLY

IDEOLOGUES WHO LOSE AN ARGUMENT

AND THEY SAY THOSE PEOPLE ARE

CRAZY, I'M THE REALIST HERE.

THE J.D. VANCE CROWD HAVE BEEN

SAYING UKRAINE CANNOT WIN AND

IT'S NOT IN OUR INTEREST AND WE

SHOULDN'T PUT BOOTS ON THE

GROUND WHEN NOT A SOUL WAS EVER

SAYING AMERICAN TROOPS SHOULD

EVER BE ON THE GROUND IN UKRAIN

RUSSIA JUST HIT THE MARK OF A

MILLION CASUALTIES.

THE IDEA THAT-- I THINK IT'S IN

OUR INTEREST FOR IDEALISTIC

REASONS.

I'M FOR THE UNDERDOG WANTING TO

BE AN INDEPENDENT DEMOCRACY AND

ALL THAT STUFF BUT AS A MATTER

OF COLD REALISM, HAVING

UKRAINIANS DEGRADE AND DESTROY

THE RUSSIAN MILITARY FOR A

DECADE TO?

THAT IS THE REAL REALIST

THEY ARE WILLING TO FIGHT FOR

THEIR OWN COUNTRY AND ALL THEY

ARE ASKING FROM US IS A LITTLE

HELP TO DO IT.

IT IS SETTING US PENNIES ON THE

DOLLAR AND THE ONLY REASON WHY I

THINK THESE GUYS ARE AGAINST

IT-- TRUMP HAS ALWAYS HAD THIS

MAN CRUSH ON BRUTON, HE LOVES

HIS MUSK--

THAT'S PUTTING IT LIGHTLY.

THEY GOT IT IN THEIR HEAD

UKRAINE WAS ON THE WRONG SIDE OF

THE FIRST IMPEACHMENT.

THEREFORE VOLODYMYR ZELENSKYY

DIDN'T PLAY BALL AND RUSSIA

RUSSIA RUSSIA AND PUTIN IS MY

GUIDE-- THEY HAVE LET TRUMP'S

PERSONALITY DRIVE FOREIGN

WHY DO YOU THINK THEY GOT IT

IN THEIR HEAD TO?

BECAUSE VLADIMIR PUTIN SAID THIS

IS WHAT I'D LIKE AND

DONALD TRUMP SETTLED YES, SIR,

THANK YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

Bill: BUT LAST WEEK ON LIKE

THIS WEEK WHICH IS ALL ABOUT

TRUMPS FEUD WITH ELON MUSK, LAST

WEEK IT WAS ALL ABOUT PUTIN--

HE WAS FEUDING--

WAS HE THOUGH?

'S BE WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW A

GUY THEN HE TURNS OUT TO BE A

VICIOUS DICTATOR!

TELL ME ONE SANCTION HE'S PUT

IN PLACE HE'S TARIFF TO THE

ENTIRE WORLD EXCEPT GUESS WHERE?

I WOULD LOVE TO SAY YES, I THINK

BRUTON IS BEING CRAZY BUT SHOW

ME ONE THING HE'S ACTUALLY DONE

TO HURT VLADIMIR PUTIN AND I

WILL THROW A PARTY.

[APPLAUSE]

I THINK THE REASON WHY TRUMP

WAS LEGITIMATELY ANGRY AND

PISSED OFF AT BOUDIN.

HE LIVES IN THIS WORLD WHERE

HE'S SURROUNDED BY THESE

SYCOPHANTS AND YES-MEN, THESE

HEAD PAST THE SPHINCTER ASS

KISSERS WHO TELL HIM HE'S THE

GREATEST SMARTEST GUY IN THE

WORLD AND HE HAS THIS

TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH

THEM IT'S LIKE THAT DICTATOR

PHRASE FOR MY FRIENDS ANYTHING,

FOR MY ENEMIES, THE LAW.

HE'S BEING RETRIBUTION NEST WITH

THE LAW AND GOING AFTER HIS

ENEMIES.

THEY CAME INTO OFFICE AND MADE

CONCESSION AFTER CONCESSION

AFTER CONCESSION WITHOUT ASKING

FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN.

THEN WHAT HAPPENED WAS TRUMP

DISCOVERED THAT PUTIN WAS NOT

ACTUALLY TRUMPS BITCH.

Bill: HE STOLE A SUPER BOWL

RING OFF A GUYS FINGER.

HE WAS LIKE I THOUGHT HE WAS

MY GUY, I THOUGHT WE WERE IN

THIS WORKING TOGETHER AND HE'S

LIKE I WANT TO RECONSTITUTE THE

RUSSIAN EMPIRE.

NOW HE'S LIKE I DON'T WANT

ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS BECAUSE

I WANT TO GET MY

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.

HE ONLY HAS A PAIR OF DEUCES

IN HIS HAND AND HE HAS NO OTHER

TRICKS THE PLAY.

WHAT YOU WANT TO COME I'M

NEGOTIATING WITH STEVE WITKOFF

WAS ZERO EXPERIENCE IN FOREIGN

POLICY OR GOVERNMENT BUT HE'S A

GREAT REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER.

Bill: I GOT TO STOP THERE,

TIME FOR NEW RULES!

NEW RULE: STOP TRYING TO HELP ME

UNDERSTAND HOW KIM KARDASHIAN

BOTH IS AND ISN'T A LAWYER.

IT'S LIKE HOW LIGHT IS A

PARTICLE AND A WAVE, OR HOW

JESUS IS HIS OWN DAD.

YOU WIN; I GIVE UP.

LAST MONTH KIM HAD A ONE-STUDENT

GRADUATION CEREMONY FOR HER HOME

SCHOOL LAW DEGREE, BUT SHE STILL

HASN'T PASSED THE BAR, SO SHE

STILL CAN'T PRACTICE LAW, OR

WHAT'S LEFT OF IT UNDER TRUMP.

AND YET SOMEHOW SHE'S NOW THE

HEAD OF THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT.

[LAUGHTER]

NEW RULE: NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S MORE

DEPRESSING: THE FACT THERE'S AN

INSTAGRAM PAGE DEDICATED TO

REVIEWING STICKS - OR THE FACT

IT HAS - - 3.2 MILLION

FOLLOWERS.

WHO MAKE COMMENTS LIKE - - "NICE

STICK BRO."

AND - "THAT'S A GOOOOOOD STICK."

AND - "BEST STICK I'VE SEEN IN

THE LAST MONTH."

CONGRATULATIONS, OFFICIAL STICK

SOMEHOW YOU MADE SOCIAL MEDIA AN

EVEN BIGGER WASTE OF TIME.

NEW RULE: THE MAKERS OF SKINNY

CONFIDENTIAL BAMBOO TOILET PAPER

WHO BOAST THAT IT'S "CHLORINE

AND FORMALDEHYDE-FREE," "BPA,

PFA, AND PLASTIC-FREE,"

"NON-TOXIC," "100% SUSTAINABLE,"

WITH "NO INKS OR DYES" CAN'T

STOP THERE.

I NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S CARBON

NEUTRAL, NON-GMO, LOW SALT,

FREE-RANGE, CRUELTY-FREE, NOT

MANUFACTURED IN A PLANT THAT

ALSO PROCESSES PEANUTS AND

KOSHER.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

I CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.

THIS IS THE PAPER I'M GOING TO

USE TO PICK UP A DEAD JUNE BUG.

NEW RULE: SOMEONE HAS TO TELL

LORDE, WHO JUST TOLD ROLLING

STONE THAT SHE RECEIVES

PSYCHEDELIC DRUG THERAPY, HAS AN

EATING DISORDER, AND IS GENDER

FLUID - WE GET IT, YOU HAVE A

NEW ALBUM COMING OUT.

[APPLAUSE]

IT'S OKAY!

SPILLING TEA IS HOW PEOPLE

PROMOTE NEW PROJECTS.

SO GOOD LUCK, BUT YOU'RE NEVER

GOING TO BEAT "I'M A NAZI AND I

SUCKED MY COUSIN'S DICK."

[LAUGHTER]

NEW RULE: CELEBRITIES HAVE TO

STOP WRITING CHILDREN'S BOOKS.

LOOK, WE GET IT.

YOU NEED TO FEEL LIKE A GOOD

PARENT BECAUSE YOU'RE NEVER

AROUND AND YOUR KID HAS STARTED

CALLING THE NANNY "MAMA."

BUT LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE: IF

YOUR NANNY IS DEPORTED, YOUR KID

MIGHT FINALLY GET THE LOVE OF

THE PERSON WHO'S FORCED TO TAKE

OVER THE PARENTING: YOUR

ASSISTANT, ENRIQUE.

[LAUGHTER]

AND FINALLY, NEW RULE...

IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY TO

STRATEGIZE.

DEMOCRATS HAVE BEEN HAVING A LOT

OF DONOR RETREATS LATELY, WHERE

LIBERAL STRATEGISTS HOLD

"IDEA-A-THONS" WHERE THEY TRY TO

FIGURE OUT WHY THEY KEEP LOSING

ELECTIONS.

YOU KNOW, APART FROM USING WORDS

LIKE "IDEA-A-THON."

ONE IDEA THAT'S GETTING A LOT OF

ATTENTION IS: THE DEMS NEED TO

FIND THEIR JOE ROGAN, A LIBERAL

JOE ROGAN!

BECAUSE THAT'S WHY KAMALA LOST,

REPUBLICANS HAVE A PODCAST!

OK MAYBE - OR, YOU COULD

CONSIDER THIS: INSTEAD OF

CONJURING UP A NEW JOE ROGAN,

ASK YOURSELF WHY YOU LOST THE

OLD ONE.

BECAUSE HE UD TO BE ON YOUR

SIDE.

HE SMOKES POT ON THE AIR - I

DON'T THINK HE'S THAT MUCH OF A

FAR-RIGHT IDEOLOGUE.

I DON'T THINK HIS MIND IS

COMPLETELY INFLEXIBLE.

HIS NECK, YES, BUT NOT HIS MIND.

AND HE'S EXPRESSED UNEASE WITH

SOME THINGS TRUMP IS DOING, AS

HAS A CERTAIN DISGRUNTLED FORMER

EMPLOYEE NAMED ELON MUSK.

WHO, LIKE JOE, IS ANOTHER GUY

WHO FIVE YEARS AGO WAS THOUGHT

OF AS A LIBERAL, BUT GOT DRIVEN

INTO THE OTHER CAMP BY BAD

ATTITUDES AND BAD IDEAS, A

REVERSAL I COMPLETELY

UNDERSTAND, ALTHOUGH I WOULD NOT

EMULATE.

I ALSO SEE THE WOKE MIND VIRUS -

I JUST DON'T JUMP FROM FRYING

PANS INTO FIRES.

I WATCHED THE EVOLUTION OF BOTH

THESE MEN - THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN

OVERNIGHT.

IN 2022, BEFORE HE OWNED

TWITTER, ELON TWEETED THIS CHART

DEPICTING HOW HE FELT ABOUT THE

LIBERAL SIDE HAVING SHIFTED SO

MUCH THAT IT LEFT A BASICALLY

LIBERAL CENTRIST LIKE HIM NOW

LABELED A CONSERVATIVE.

I RELATED.

I RELATED TO THE KIND OF MEAN

GIRL SHIT YOU GET FROM THE COOL

KIDS IN WOKEVILLE WHEN YOU'RE

PERCEIVED THIS WAY.

THEY TRIED REAL HARD TO CANCEL

ROGAN A FEW YEARS AGO, AND WHEN

ELON HOSTED SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

IN 2021, WELL BEFORE HE WAS A

TRUMPER, SOME OF THE CAST

MEMBERS GAVE HIM THE COLD

SHOULDER FOR THE SIN OF BEING

RICH.

YOU THINK PEOPLE DON'T REMEMBER

WHEN YOU DO THIS SHIT TO THEM?

THAT IT'S NOT GOING TO HAVE

BLOWBACK?

NOW ME, AGAIN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO

WIN BACK BECAUSE I NEVER LEFT.

BUT ALL THE GUYS IN AMERICA LIKE

JOE AND ELON?

YEAH, YOU DO HAVE TO WIN THEM

BACK - THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU CAN.

ELON HAS GONE FROM SAYING "I

LOVE DONALD TRUMP AS MUCH AS A

STRAIGHT MAN CAN LOVE ANOTHER

MAN"

TO LAST WEEK,• "I'M A LITTLE

STUCK IN A BIND WHERE...

I DON'T WANT TO SPEAK UP AGAINST

THE ADMINISTRATION BUT I ALSO

DON'T WANT TO TAKE

RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVERYTHING

THE ADMINISTRATION'S DOING."

AND NOW: THAT'S CALLED A

I HAVE PROOF HE IS EPSTEIN FILE

FILES!

I THINK WE CALL THAT A

GETTABLE VOTER WHO'S ON THE

MAYBE THIS WILL PUT QUIETUS TO

THE NONSENSE THAT ELON, AND

ROGAN TOO, "WENT TO THE DARK

SIDE."

I HEAR THAT ALL THE TIME.

LIKE THEY GOT THAT "THE LAST OF

US" FUNGAL INFECTION AND BECAME

ZOMBIES.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NO, THEY JUST GOT DRIVEN AWAY,

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW POLITICS

WORKS THESE DAYS: ONE SIDE GETS

ELECTED PRECISELY BECAUSE THE

OTHER SIDE WAS JUST IN POWER AND

PUSHED THEIR AGENDA WAY TOO FAR,

AND DROVE PEOPLE IN THE OPPOSITE

DIRECTION.

THE PENDULUM SWINGS BACK AND

FORTH, WITH PEOPLE NOT VOTING

FOR ANYTHING, BUT JUST TO GET

RID OF THE LATEST EXTREMIST

ASSHOLES WHO TRIED TO REMAKE

AMERICA IN THEIR IMAGE INSTEAD

OF JUST GOVERNING.

RIGHT NOW, IT'S THE REPUBLICANS

WHO ARE THE VERY DEFINITION OF

DRUNK WITH POWER.

AND ALSO SOMETIMES JUST DRUNK.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT THE "DRUNK WITH POWER" PART

- THAT'S WHAT DEMOCRATS SHOULD

PAY ATTENTION TO.

BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHO'S EASY TO

BEAT IN A FIGHT?

A DRUNK.

REALLY.

I'VE DONE IT.

NOW, I WAS ALSO DRUNK, SO IT WAS

A DRAW - BUT THE POINT IS, TRUM

OWNS THE LOWEST 100-DAY

JOB-APPROVAL RATING OF ANY

PRESIDENT - ONLY 39% APPROVE OF

HIS HANDLING OF THE ECONOMY,

WHICH HAD ALWAYS BEEN HIS FORTE.

IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE WAS ASKING

FOR TARIFFS.

DO YOU THINK THE BROS AND THE

BRAHS WANT TO PAY 150 DOLLARS

MORE FOR A PLAYSTATION?

DO YOU THINK THEY WANT THE

GOVERNMENT TO BAN ABORTION AND

BAN PORNOGRAPHY, AND DO LOTS OF

OTHER FAR RIGHT STUFF THAT'S IN

THE PROJECT 2025 BLUEPRINT?

PLEASE, THEIR PROJECT FOR 2025

IS TRYING TO GET LAID.

YEAH, IT'S NOT JUST DEMOCRATS

WHO AREN'T REALLY DIGGING TRUMP

ADDING TRILLIONS MORE DEBT IS

NOT SITTING WELL, AND EVEN THE

LIKES OF TUCKER CARLSON AND BEN

SHAPIRO HAVE CALLED OUT THE

CORRUPTION.

EVEN THE DEPORTING OF ILLEGALS,

WHICH AMERICA GENERALLY

SUPPORTS, IS PISSING PEOPLE OFF

NOW.

I READ A STORY LAST WEEK ABOUT

THE TOWN OF KENNETT, MISSOURI

WHERE JUST ABOUT EVERYONE VOTED

FOR TRUMP, BUT NOW IS PISSED

BECAUSE ICE REMOVED THEIR

FAVORITE WAITRESS, A BELOVED

LOCAL MOTHER OF THREE NAMED

CAROL HUI, CURRENTLY FACING

DEPORTATION BACK TO HONG KONG.

ONE LOCAL WOMAN SAID, "...NO ONE

VOTED TO DEPORT MOMS.

WE WERE ALL UNDER THE IMPRESSION

WE WERE JUST GETTING RID OF THE

GANGS• THIS IS CAROL."

YEAH, WELL, WHEN YOU ELECT A

BULL TO RUN THROUGH THE CHINA

SHOP, SOMETIMES THE CHINA THAT

GETS BROKEN IS YOU.

[APPLAUSE]

REPUBLICANS HAVE TAKEN FULL

ADVANTAGE OF HOW SNOBBY AND OUT

OF TOUCH THE DEMOCRATS HAVE

BECOME TO CLAIM THE TITLE OF

PARTY OF THE WORKING CLASS, BUT

TRUMP'S BIG BEAUTIFUL BUDGET

BILL CUTS MEDICAID BY $723

BILLION.

STEVE BANNON SAYS "A LOT OF MAGA

IS ON MEDICAID."

YEAH IT IS - 42% OF MAGA VOTERS

SAY MEDICAID IS IMPORTANT TO

THEM.

LET'S SEE IF THEY MISS IT.

OK THAT'S OUR SHOW.

I WANNA THANK MY GUESTS JONAH

GOLDBERG, STEPHANIE RUHLE AND

WHITNEY CUMMINGS.

CLUB RANDOM DROPS EVERY SUNDAY

ON YOUTUBE, OR LISTEN WHEREVER

YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS.

NOW GO WATCH "OVERTIME" ON

YOUTUBE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, LADIES AND

GENTLEMEN, YOU WERE TERRIFIC!

♪ ♪

THANK YOU GUYS!

♪ ♪