Original subtitles

JS[R&B]

[ Women ] ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪

♪ And don't you come back no more ♪

♪ No more, no more, no more ♪

♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪

♪ And don't you come back no more ♪

[ Loud Crashing ]

[ Tires Squealing ]

Hey, it's Monday morning, and I'm Jack Lucas.

[ Man's Voice ] Crunch!

- [ Woman On Phone ] Hi. - Hello.

- This is about my husband. - [ Jack ] Yes?

Well, he drives me crazy.

I'll be talking, and he'll never let me finish a sentence.

- Hmm. - He's always finishing —

He's always finishing your thoughts. That's awful.

- It — It absolutely drives — - It drives you crazy, doesn't it?

He's a scoundrel.

Jack, you've hit the nail —

Hit the nail on the head.

Somebody ought to hit you on the head.

- [ Spring Sound ] - ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪

♪ And don't you come back no more ♪

♪ No more, no more, no more ♪

♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪

♪ And don't you come back no more ♪

[Man] ♪ What you say? ♪

So, uh, tell us, how long have you and Senator Payton...

- been having this, uh — - [ Men Snickering, Laughing ]

- this sleazy affair? - [ Men Laughing ]

Oh, great. This is great, yeah. This is disgusting.

I am so tired of the public thinking...

that they have got a right to invade a person's private life, okay?

Oh, please. Come on. You had sex with a United States senator...

in the parking lot of Sea World.

- You're telling me you're a private person? - [ Imitating Seals Barking ]

- You're our— - Spotlight celebrity!

We want to hear about the back seats of limos, sweetheart.

About the ruined lives of people we want to be.

New and exotic uses for champagne corks.

Listen, I have been humiliated enough already, okay?

Well, no, perhaps not. We need those details.

- You're a pig, Jack. - [Dial Tone]

♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh, woman, oh, woman, don't treat me so mean ♪

♪ You're the meanest old woman that I've ever seen ♪

You're on the air, caller.

Hello, Jack. It's Edwin.

Oh, it's Eawin.

Edwin, we haven't heard from you in, what, a day? I've missed you.

- I've missed you foo, Jack. - So, it's sunrise confession time, Ed.

- What have you got for us? - Um, I went to this bar —

this very, you know, hard-to-get-into place called Babbitt's.

Oh. Yeah, I know the place. It's one of those chic yuppie watering holes.

- Well, I met this beautiful woman. - Oh, come on now.

Ed, if you start telling me you're falling in love again...

I'm gonna have to remind you of that time we made you propose...

to that check-out girl at Thrifty's that you liked so much.

- Do you remember her reaction? - [ Screaming, Retching ]

- She was just a girl. - Uh-huh.

This is a beautiful woman.

Yeah, and Pinocchio is a true story.

Ed, you're never gonna get this tart to your dessert plate.

- No, this is different. She likes — - Edwin. Edwin. Hey!

[ Whistles ] Edwin!

Hey, come on now. I told you about these people.

They only mate with their own kind. It's called yuppie inbreeding.

That's why so many of them are retarded and wear the same clothes.

They're not human. They don't feel love.

They only negotiate love moments. They're evil, Edwin.

They're repulsed by imperfection, horrified by the banal —

everything that America stands for, everything that you and I fight for.

They must be stopped before it's too late.

It's us or them.

- Okay, Jack. - All right.

Well, it's been a thrill, as always.

Have a perfect day.

Everyone here at the Jack Lucas Show says bye.

- [ Woman ] J I've got the power ♪ - This is Jack Lucas.

So long. Arrivederci.

I'll be sending you a thought today...

as I lie in the back of my stretch limo, having sex with the teenager of my choice...

and that thought will be, "Thank God I'm me."

♪ I've got the power ♪

- [ Horns Honking ] - [ Sirens Wailing In Distance ]

[ Laughing ]

Some of this is very funny.

They even secured the rights to the Donna Summer song...

to play over the credits.

Ooh, I have chills.

Are you sure they want me? I'm not gonna read it unless I have an offer.

Jack, of course. Not even a question.

When I talked to them on the phone this morning...

I could smell how much they want you for it.

- I could smell it over the phone. - [ Knocking On Window ]

Ooh. Bums.

I don't have any change. Do you have —

I'm not opening this window.

Couple of quarters isn't gonna make any difference anyway.

I hate my cheeks.

Raoul called before — about dinner.

Oh, God. About dinner as a concept or about dinner with Raoul?

You're so witty.

I've got to get out of here, Jack, and do something.

You know, tomorrow is a very big day for me.

It would be nice if you pretended like you understood.

Fine. I'll say no.

- They're putting me on film tomorrow. - Fine.

First time in my life, I'll be a voice with a body.

You know what that means, what this could lead to?

It's a sitcom, Jack. You're not defining pi.

Oh.

I'll remember that the next time you get excited...

by drawing pubic hair on Raisin Bran.

You want some?

No. I have to work.

How un-"60s of you.

I was nine in the ‘60s.

Oh.

I used to think...

my biography ought to be entitled...

Jack Lucas. The Face Behind the Voice.

But now it can be Jack Lucas. The Face and the Voice.

Or maybe just Jack! Exclamation point.

"Honey, where's my orange cup with the teddy bear?

I'll kill that old bitch. [ Clears Throat ]

I have a fever. I really think I'm dying.

Well, forgive me."

[ Clears Throat ] Hey.

Forgive me.

Forgive me, forgive me.

Hey, forgive me.

Forgive me.

Hey, forgive me.

[ Laughs ] Yeah.

♪ I've got the power ♪

[ Sirens Wailing ]

Forgive me!

♪ I've got the power ♪

Whoa. Whoa. Hey!

Forgive me!

♪ I've got the power ♪

I have this.

I have this. I really have this.

[Man ] J Its gettin', it's gettin' It's gettin' kind of hectic /

♪ It's gettin', it's gettin' It's gettin' kind of hectic ♪

♪ It's gettin', it's gettin' It's gettin' kind of hectic ♪

♪ It's gettin', it's gettin' It's gettin' kind of hectic ♪

♪ It's gettin', it's gettin' It's gettin' kind of hectic ♪

[Jack ] Theyre evil. They're repulsed by imperfection, horrified by the banal —

everything that America stands for, everything that you and I fight for, Edwin.

They must be stopped before it's foo late.

It's us or them!

[Anchorman ] It was Mr. Lucas's offhand remark...

that seemed to have a ratal impact on Mr. Malinick.

Marc Saffron is on the scene.

An after-work hot spot, Babbitt's is popular...

with single, young professionals.

Eawin Malnick arrived at the peak hour of 7:15...

took one long look at the handsome collection...

of the city's best and brightest...

then removed a shotgun from his overcoat and opened fire.

Seven people were killed before Mr. Malinick...

turned the gun on himself and shot a hole through his head.

Representatives of radio cult personality Jack Lucas expressed regret...

however, no formal comment has been made.

Neighbors of Malinick said he was a quiet man who lived alone.

"You scarcely knew he was there"...

said a woman who lived next door to Malinick for 11 years.

But today, few will soon forget this lonely man...

who reached out to a world he knew only through the radio...

looking for friendship and finding only pain and tragedy.

Marc Saffron, Channel 7 News.

[Man] ♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Have you heard ♪

Fuck.

- [ Horn Honking ] - [ Siren Wailing In Distance ]

[ Jack ] Garbage. People are garbage.

Pigs.

[ Chuckles ] Go right ahead and panic.

- [ Woman ] Hey, Mr. Happiness. - [ Grunts ] Yeah?

Are you gonna do a little work today or what?

Hmm? What, out there?

They're not terrorists, Jack.

They're just ordinary people like you and me.

Breakfast of champions, right?

[ Man Chattering ]

That — That one. That'll do. It'll be funny.

And then the scary one.

Yes. That's right. A scary one and a funny one.

Oh. Oh!

Excuse me. Can you help me? I'm at an absolute loss.

I've been looking for over an hour, and I'm losing my mind.

What I'm in the mood for is sort of a Katharine-Hepburny, Cary-Granty kind of thing.

Nothing heavy. I couldn't take heavy.

Something zany. I'm looking for something zany.

Or something modern will be fine too.

Like a Goldie-Hawny, Chevy-Chasey kind of thing.

You know, funny. I want to laugh. I have to laugh tonight, really.

Oh, oh. Do you have anything with that comedian?

He's on that show. It's On the Radio.

You know the guy. He says, "Hey, forgive me!" [ Laughs ]

I get such a kick out of the way he says that.

He's so goddamn adorable. That would be perfect.

Didn't he make a movie?

Ordinary Peepholes.

It's kind of a big-titty, spread-cheeky kind of thing.

Excuse me. I just want to borrow him for a minute.

You're gonna love that.

- That was a frightening woman. - Are you in one of your moods today, baby?

If she didn't get something zany real quick, she was going to pull the pin.

Is this one of the days when you're in your — What do you call that thing?

- Your emotional abyss? - Her handbag could fucking kill us all.

Will you explain this to me, baby? Because I don't understand these moods you get into.

Anne, they're my moods.

You want to understand moods, have one of your own, okay?

- I hate desperate people. - Sweetie, baby, love of my life.

You hate people.

Look, why don't you take the day off, go upstairs, put your feet up.

I'll cook tonight. Okay?

All right. All right.

[Audience Laughing ]

Honey, have you seen my orange cup with the teddy bear?

Grandma used it for her urine specimen.

[ Laughing ]

[Man On TV] Here I am. I'm dying.

...are already dividing up my estate.

I've gotta go hide my trophy cups in case Grandma finds herself...

at a beer hall put.

Well, it's funny. What do you want from me?

- I's not funny. - Then why do we watch it all the time?

Because it makes me feel good to see how not funny it is...

how America doesn't know the first thing about funny...

which makes it easier not being a famous funny TV celebrity...

because that would just mean I'm not really talented.

You are a sick fuck. You know that?

You know, I don't know why you torture yourself —

- Shh, shh. - Don't you do that! I don't like that.

I'm trying to watch.

You have too many thoughts rolling around up there.

You're very self-absorbed, Jack.

God, divert yourself. My God, read a book.

It's important to think, Anne.

It's what separates us from lentils and people that read books like Love Song.

Great book. Dumb title.

- You know — - [ TV Off ]

you used to say that you liked that about me.

You used to say you liked that we didn't have to think all the time —

that we could just be together and not think.

Well, suicidal paranoiacs will say anything to get laid.

[ TV: Man Chafttering ]

Have another drink, Jack. It's on the house, like everything else.

[ Volume Turns Up ] I hope when you get to be my age...

your children treat you with the same disrespect.

[ Man #2 ] I've got a fever. I'm dying. I'm a dead man.

[ Woman ] You're not dying. You just have a cold.

And besides, you can't die before Sunday...

‘cause we have to go to the Billy Joel concert.

Ah, well...

forgive me!

- [Audience Laughing, Applauding ] - [ Chuckles ]

Madness.

Stop it!

[ Cloth Tearing ]

Shit!

[ Can Rattling ]

[Man On TV] Forgive me!

[ TV: Audience Applauding ]

Fuck.

- [ Horn Honking ] - Hey! Hey, watch it, asshole.

[ Driver ] Well, forgive me, fuckhead!

[ Man ] Hey! Hey! Over here!

Here I am.

Oh, taxi! Hello!

- [ Horn Honks ] - Merry Christmas.

Hey, buddy. Buddy, help a guy out.

Help me out with a quarter. Come on.

Sport, sport.

Hey, I told you! Hey! What's the matter with you?

Get away from me! Get away from me! You're a maniac!

You're crazy!

[ Boy ] Mr. Bum.

Here.

[ Horn Honking ]

Hey.

Anybody here named Jiminy?

[ Man Laughing ]

[ Jack ] You ever read any Nietzsche?

Nietzsche says there are two kinds of people in the world —

people who are destined for greatness...

like Walt Disney and Hitler.

And then there's the rest of us.

He called us "the bungled and the botched."

We get teased.

We sometimes get close to greatness, but...

we never get there.

[ Chuckling ]

We're the expendable masses.

We get pushed in front of trains, take poison aspirin...

get gunned down in Dairy Queens.

[ Chuckles ] You —

You want to hear the new title of my biography...

my little Italian friend?

It Was No Fuckin' Picnic: The Jack Lucas Story.

You like it?

"Il Nova Esta" Fuckin' Picnic-o.

You're a good kid.

You say "no" to drugs.

You ever get the feeling sometimes...

you're being punished for your sins?

[ Men Whooping, Laughing ]

[ Tires Screeching ]

Hey, what's going on?

I said, what's going on?

What are you doing here, man?

[ Grunts ]

You shouldn't hang around this neighborhood!

I was just leaving.

People spend a lot of hard-earned money for this neighborhood.

It's not fair.

Lookin' out their windows and see your ass asleep on the streets!

- Yes, I agree. Yeah. - Good. That's very good.

Do you believe this drunk?

Me neither, man. Do it!

[ Gasping ]

[ Man ] Hold, varlet...

or feel the sting of my shaft!

[ Gasps ]

In the name of Blanche de Fleur, unhand that errant knight!

Do you speak English?

Let the bum go, dipshit!

Mendacity! Why are two attractive city squires like you...

abusing a knight like this?

Are you a faggot too?

Faggot? No, but I do believe in fairies.

- Oh. Not without dinner. - Are you fucking nuts?

Viola! Let's show him what he's won.

- I have to advise you to let us go. - You advise us, huh?

Yes. You're outnumbered, son. [ Laughs ]

Look and see.

[ Man ] Looks like Night of the Living Dead.

Come on! Go for it!

- They can't do nothin'. - "Can't do nothin'!" "Can't do nothin'!"

Nothing?

Gentlemen!

[ Dog Barking ]

♪ I like New York in June ♪

♪ How about you? ♪

♪ I like a Gershwin tune ♪

♪ How about you? ♪

Oh, look, it's showtime.

You know, boys, there's three things in this world that you need.

Respect for all kinds of life...

a nice bowel movement on a regular basis...

and a navy blazer.

Oh! And one more thing —

Never take your eye off the ball!

[ Whimpering, Grunts ]

Of course, the ability to bean a shithead can be a fabulous advantage.

Hey, hey. Hey, hey!

Please... don't hurt me.

Hey. Why? So you can be healthy when you jump? No.

You can't leave me tied up out here alone, you fucking faggot!

Oh, you're not gonna be alone. Huh?

No! Come and get it!

I need a drink.

Hey, I know a fabulous place with great ambience.

[ Groans ]

[ Man Laughing Hysterically ]

Hey, so, what do you think of the death penalty, man?

It's definitely a penalty. It ain't no fuckin' gift.

Life's too goddamn short.

- Great place, huh? - [ Screaming ]

[ All Screaming ]

- How are you tonight? - Not bad, John. And you?

Can't complain.

Can I interest anybody in a fruit pie, huh?

- No, thank you. Too fattening. - Crazy fuckin' —

[ Screaming ]

Give me your hat!

Oh.

- [ Laughing ] - All right.

Have a drink.

- I better be leaving. - Drink, goddamn it!

No.

[ Gagging, Coughing ]

I think they like you.

[ John ] ♪ I like New York in June ♪

♪ How about you? ♪

You were great tonight, Parry.

♪ I like potato chips and moonlight and roses ♪

♪ How about you? 2;

Hi.

Welcome back.

- How you feeling? - Have I died?

Oh, no. [ Laughing ]

Hey. Oh, hey, easy. You want to get up?

There you go. Hey, gravity works. Come on.

Take it real slow. There you go.

Take a few breaths, huh? There you are.

- Where am I? - My domicile.

It's my humble abode.

Mi casa is su casa.

Oh. You want something to eat?

Because your stomach must be a real tabula rasa after last night.

These are raisins or rat shit. You can't tell sometimes.

Oh! Oh, yeah. How about a fruit pie?

[ Gagging ]

You're right about that one. I was off by a couple of months.

Good job.

It's nice to have company. Hi.

- Where are my shoes? - What?

- Where — - What?

- What? - Shh! Shh!

Excuse me.

What is it? I got company.

What?

I knew it. I knew it last night.

I did too. I did.

Don't look at me. Don't —

He's the one.

- Can you keep a secret? - No.

Good, because you know what the little people told me?

- The little people? - Oh. You know.

They said you're the one.

The one what?

Shut up! Get away from him!

Oh, this will get them back.

Wintergreen. Sorry about this.

- [ Coughing ] - There we are.

Yeah. They said you're not ready to know yet.

I'm not.

He is too!

Get out of here. Fuck off! Beat it.

I have Raid. Oh, yeah, fly up there.

Oh, oh, yeah.

Come on. Out of here. Ah! Yah!

Hey! You can't be in there.

You're frightening him.

Do you know who I am?

- I'm drawing a blank. - Well, take a guess.

Let him guess, hmm?

Uh... I don't know.

You seem to be some Kind of vigilante?

Well, that happens along the way, of course, but here's a clue.

A hood ornament.

No.

I'm a knight on a special quest.

And I need help.

Quest.

That's why they sent you.

- The little — - Yes, yes.

You see, they work for... him.

So do I.

Him?

God.

I'm the janitor of God.

I know.

Yeah. Hey, I know how you feel.

They came to me about a year ago.

I was sitting on the john...

having one of those really satisfying bowel movements.

You know those ones that border on mystical?

Where you're like —

[ Grunting ]

Oh!

And there they were.

Hundreds of the cutest little fat people...

floating right in front of me.

It was wonderful, and then...

they spoke...

and they said that I had been chosen...

to get back something very special that he had lost...

and my part would be very dangerous.

And I said, "Whoa! Hold it right there."

I mean, you start seeing floating little fat people...

that tell you that you're on a mission from God...

they'll slap you some heavy Thorazine.

I said, "Give me a sign."

And they said, "Look in Progressive Architecture.

February ‘88. Page 33."

That's pretty specific, huh?

Bingo!

He knows. He knows. He knows.

It's right here. Where is it? A, B, F =F, M!

M! M.

It's under "miscellaneous," not "mythology."

Oh. Look at this. Here it is.

Let's see this.

Look. See it?

Mm-hmm. Langdon Carmichael.

No, no. Right there. See it?

What?

The grail.

The Holy Grail.

It's God's symbol of divine grace.

- The Holy — - Yes.

Some billionaire has got the Holy Grail in his library on Fifth Avenue.

My thoughts exactly. Who'd think you'd find anything divine on the Upper East Side?

I don't mean to be flippant or enrage you or anything...

but you're a psychotic man.

- I know. - A very nice psychotic man.

- Oh. - I appreciate what you did.

- I think it was a brave and noble thing. - Oh, stop. You're embarrassing me.

I'm sure I'm gonna see a lot of you...

on various talk shows when you get the grail.

Please, don't go.

I can't.

I can't get it.

Because he's out there.

He's always out there.

That's why you can get it. That's why you're the one.

I'm not the one.

I'm not anyone.

Forget about the shoes. I'm going to take a cab, uh —

- Parry. - Parry.

- I'm Jack. - I know.

Oh, oh!

Wait. Don't, uh —

They're, uh — Oh, here they are.

Jack, Jack, here you go.

As they were.

Uh, you can keep the doll.

Hey, thanks a mil, huh?

Hey, now that you know where we are, don't be a stranger.

Come back. We'll rummage.

Take care of yourself, Jack. Give my love to the wife, huh?

- I'm not married. - Really? You look married.

Hey, don't be a stranger.

See you.

Hey! Hey, where you coming from?

Uh, the basement, I think.

I tell him no visitors!

- Hey, hold it. Hold it. - Huh?

Listen, are you a friend of Parry's?

- No. - I don't allow no entertainin'.

Look, I let him stay here out of the goodness of my heart because of the tragedy...

but I'm not runnin' a hotel and nobody's taking advantage of me.

Tragedy?

He and his wife were in some bar and some nut comes in with a shotgun...

and blew the place apart...

splattered her brains all over the walls.

She was a beautiful girl.

Never knew what hit her.

You oughta heard about that. Th-That nut who listened to the radio?

[Anne ] You could have been attacked. You could have been raped. God knows what.

- I was up all night long, Jack. - Sorry.

[ Phone Rings ]

- Yeah? - Guy wants to check out the pornos.

So send him back.

What the hell happened?

- I was attacked. - What?

Oh, baby.

Two kids tried to set me on fire.

- Oh, my God. What — - Ow!

What did they do to you, ba —

You almost done?

What are you looking for? You looking for a story? What?

I've seen most of them.

Here. Creamer versus Creamer. Won an award. Go.

Did you call the police? You want me to call up the doctor?

- Tell me what you want me — - No, I'm fine.

Are you sure?

So where did you sleep last night?

I stayed at a friend's, Anne.

Okay, Jack. Jack, I want you to be up front with me now.

If you're seeing somebody else, just tell me.

You don't have to pour gasoline all over yourself and light a match...

just to break up with me here.

Just tell me the truth.

Anne, I was not seeing anyone else. I was — I really was attacked.

Okay.

- I've got a cut here. - Okay. I see it now.

I'm sorry.

I love you. What are you going to do?

You don't have to say it back...

although it wouldn't break your jaw to try.

You know what the Holy Grail is?

Holy Grail? Yeah, I know that one.

That was like, uh, Jesus' juice glass.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I used to be such a Catholic.

- Do you still believe in God? - Yeah.

You gotta believe in God.

But I don't believe that God made men in his image.

Mm-mmm. ‘Cause most of the shit that happens is ‘cause of men.

Nah. I think man was made in the devil's image...

and women were created out of God...

‘cause, after all, women can have babies, which is kind of like creating...

and which also accounts for the fact that women are so attracted to men...

‘cause let's face it — the devil is a hell of a lot more interesting.

I've slept with some saints in my day, and believe me, I know what I'm talking about.

Ew. Boring.

So, the whole point of life — the whole point of life, I think...

is for men and women to get married...

so that God and the devil can get together...

and work it out.

Not that we have to get married or anything.

God forbid.

You have a little... thing right here.

What, a pimple?

Oh, yeah. This stuff is supposed to blend with my skin.

Like it really works, you know?

No. I don't think I'm up for it tonight, honey.

I just had a very traumatic experience.

I know.

I — I'm getting sick.

- Ow, ow, Ow. - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ow.

- Careful, careful, careful now. - Hey.

Anne, I spent the night in a boiler room.

I'm tired. I'm upset. I don't —

I'm — I'm not in the mood, okay?

Okay.

[ Jack ] Mmm.

Okay.

[ Jack ] Parry?

Parry?

- Oh! Gee. - Can I help you?

I was looking for Parry.

He's not here.

The hospital said it would be best if we kept certain things away from him.

There. Now, there's his real name. Henry Sagan.

He was a teacher over at Hunter College.

They kept him in a mental place over on Staten Island.

He did not speak for a year.

Then all of a sudden, he started talking.

Only now he's this Parry guy.

He and his wife used to live upstairs.

When he got released, they sent him here.

I felt bad.

He couldn't work. Nobody wanted him.

So I let him stay in the basement.

He helped out. I'd give him a couple dollars.

People throw things away. He gets them.

She was a beautiful girl.

He was crazy about her.

[ Man On Tape ] I appreciate the way you deal with people.

I really do. I'm a big fan.

[Jack On Tape] Well, good. I enjoy appreciation.

Listen, I especially appreciated the other day...

when you told that homeless schmuck, who do he think he is...

talking about the money that you made?

- Yeah, well, I gotta — - Who was he to ask Jack Lucas anything?

- Asshole. - A scumbag like that?

I liked how you dealt with him. I really did. I did the same thing the other day.

It was perfect Jack Lucas style.

I listen to you every day, and I'm telling you...

you are a consistent, integral man.

I mean it.

What's the matter, baby? Can't sleep?

[ Tape Player Turns Off ]

Yeah. [ Sniffles ]

I'll tell you something, Anne.

I really feel cursed.

Oh, stop it.

Things will change.

I feel like I'm a magnet, but I attract shit.

Out of all the people in the city...

why did I meet a man whose wife I killed?

You didn't kill anybody. Stop it.

I wish there was some way I could...

just... pay the fine and go home.

Hey, I know. I know.

- [ Crying ] - Oh, baby.

- [ Men Chattering ] - [ Dog Barking ]

[ Man Laughing ]

[ Jack ] Have you seen Parry?

[ Car Alarm Blaring ]

[ Muttering ]

Deign, Princess, to remember this, thy faithful slave...

who now endures such misery for love of thee.

- Uh, Parry. - Hi, Jack.

[ Bell Tolling ]

I thought maybe you could use a couple of —

Come on.

- Shh! - What? I —

[ Man ] Oh, I'm sorry.

She'll be back.

[ Tolling Continues ]

- Isn't she a vision? - Yeah. Gorgeous.

- Look, uh, I just wanted to, uh — - Come on.

[ Jack ] I — Oh!

Wait, wait. Look. Look. Hey, look.

I'm leaving. I'm going. I just wanted to give you —

Shit!

[ Parry ] Wait.

Now.

No. Here. Come here.

This way.

Down!

Jack.

She buys a new book every two days.

[ Man ] Hey, sweetheart. What the hell you doing?

- [ Gasps ] - She's into trash.

But what are you gonna do?

Jack.

Jack, come here.

Oh.

Oh, she loves dumplings.

- Yeah. - That's her Wednesday ritual.

Oh, it's so sweet, how she does that every time.

Oh.

We're looking through the window. You got a problem with that, buddy?

- I'm looking through the fuckin' window. - Jack.

- Come on. Let's go. - Okay, okay. Oh.

Sorry. Got it.

If anybody ever told me I'd be in love with a girl who chews jawbreakers...

I'd say they're nuts — but look at that jaw.

Oh.

- I'll go. - There she goes.

Oh. Oh, it's —

- Oh, isn't she — - You follow her every day, huh?

Oh, it's not like that. I'm deeply smitten.

- Who is she? What's her name? - I don't know.

A cooler! Oh.

Oh, that's beautiful. It needs a little work.

- Here. Come here. - What? Jack.

I just would like to help you.

Fifty dollars?

All right. All right. Here, look. Here's another 20.

- Will that do it? - Seventy dollars. That —

How much is this gonna take?

You're so nice, Jack. Oh, Jack.

- No, that's okay. It's okay. - You mensch, you.

That's — Hey, can I take you to lunch, huh?

No, I got to go back to work.

Take care of yourself.

Sell!

Sell!

- Here. - Sell!

Take care.

- Buy! Buy! Buy! - Yes.

- Fuck 'em all! - [ Parry Shouts ]

Hey, what are you doing? Give that back.

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack!

What are you doing? Jack, let go. Let go.

- What are you doing? - What the fuck were you doing?

Jack! Why did you do that?

- I gave that to you! - What am I going to do with it?

I don't know, but I gave it to you to help you, not to help him!

Jack, if you really want to help me —

Okay, you can open your eyes.

Pretty impressive, huh? [ Chuckles ]

But don't let it scare you.

As formidable as it seems, everything has its weakness.

Hey, at least there's no moat.

You can't just break into Langdon Carmichael's house.

- This man's done nothing. - Hey! I'll deal with it.

Jack, let's go through this one more time, okay?

- Look, please, listen to me. - There is the Holy Grail ins —

Don't start drooling or rolling your eyes when I tell you this...

but you shouldn't be doing this.

- There is no Holy Grail. - Oh, Jack, ye of little faith.

Jack, there has to be a grail.

What were the crusades, the pope's publicity stunt?

Oh, you heathen, there's a grail. Come on.

Hey. Look, wait. Wait a minute. Look.

[ Parry ] Hey! [ Laughs ]

You're only partly insane. People like you can lead semi-normal lives.

- You can get a job. - I have a job, Jack.

I have a quest.

I take it back. You're fucking deranged.

You're gonna get yourself killed trying to get in there.

That's so sweet.

Now, I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to protect me, aren't you?

- You think there's danger in there. - No. I think you're a moron.

And I don't want to get in trouble.

You care. First the money, now this.

Oh, that's so sweet. Oh, you fabulous guy!

Don't hug me in public again. Okay?

Oh, men with men. Oh, Jack.

I love this guy!

You hear me? I love this guy!

Oh, you hear me, jaded city?

- Will you shut up! - I love Jack. He cares.

Oh, Jack, in this jaded motherfuckin' city —

Will you — Will you shut up!

You hear me? I'm loopy about this guy.

Oh, Jack! Oh, you're a real human being.

You're a friend, a true friend.

I'm not. Believe me.

- I'm scum. - Come on.

I'm not going to listen. You're an honest-to-goodness good guy.

I'm self-centered. I'm weak.

I don't have the willpower of a fly on shit.

Maybe that's why the little people sent you.

They knew that. It's like magic.

I don't believe in little floating people, okay?

There is no magic.

But you're still gonna help me, Jack. That's what matters.

- Parry. Parry, or whatever your name is — - Jack. Jack.

You know none of this is true. The grail, the voices.

- Jack, you can't — - There's a part of you that knows it's not true.

- I think we have to start planning now. - Parry, listen to me.

Jack. Jack. You're acting weird, Jack.

- I know who you are. You're a — - Jack!

- Let go of me, Jack! - You used to teach at Hunter College.

- No! No! - Parry, you're a teacher.

- Parry! - [ Screaming ]

No!

[ Shouts, Whimpers ]

- Parry! Parry! - [ Shrieking ]

What are you looking at?

[ Whimpering ]

- Parry. - No! No!

- What? - Jack. Jack.

He's afraid of you.

We've got him! Come on!

- [ Horn Honks ] - Parry! Parry! Parry!

Holy shit!

Parry!

Parry!

Parry!

Parry!

Hey! Parry!

Parry. Parry!

I got him, Jack!

Ah!

- Parry! - [ Gasps ]

Yes!

Oh!

I got you, you medieval alien!

[ Gasps ]

[ Shouts ]

[ Jack Panting ]

I'm dying.

I can't breathe.

Isn't this a beautiful spot, Jack?

Who — Who have we been chasing?

Can I ask this question now?

He's gone now.

Oh, we had him on the run, didn't we?

Oh, if we had horses, we'd have had his ass. Ooh, boy.

- Who? - What?

Who have we been chasing?

Jack, I thought you saw him.

Saw who?

The Red Knight.

Okay.

I gave you the money. You want to keep it, fine.

You want to give it away, fine.

I just want you to know I did give him the money. Okay?

Are we clear?

[ Sighs ]

Who are you talking to, Jack?

[ Man, High Voice ] Help me, somebody, please!

Heaven be praised in giving so soon an opportunity for me...

to fulfill the duties of my profession.

[ Man ] No! Help me!

These cries doubtless proceed from some miserable male or female...

in need of my immediate aid and protection.

- Jack. I gotta go. - This is too hard.

- Help me! - [ Jack ] Will you stop!

Will you, lady on the horse, please trample me?

- What are you — What are you — - Over here!

[ Horse Whinnies ]

- No! No! Get away from me! - Jack, please.

- Get away, please! - I'm not going to hurt you.

- I'm not going to hurt you! - That's what the other guy said.

- Leave me alone, please! - Please, I want to help you.

No. I want to go! Please, let me go now.

Scarecrow, they knocked the stuffing — Come on. Let me help you up.

No. I want a debutante on a horse to step on me, please.

- Parry. - Leave me alone.

Sorry to tell you this, but the days of debutantes are over.

And isn't it awful?

Poor little Gloria.

Poor Brenda Frazier.

They ruined them. They ate 'em alive.

Yeah, but what about Slim Keith, that little Guggenheim girl?

Impostors! Leave me alone!

- Jack, come on. Lend a hand. - Listen, he just needs to sleep it off.

- Somebody will take care of him. - Who, Mother Teresa? She's retired.

Come on. It's just us. Let's go.

Maybe he wants to stay here. Do you want to stay here?

Oh, yeah, sure. I'll just love bleeding in horseshit.

How very Gandhi-esque of you.

Jack?

Get out of the way.

[ Woman On PA ] Dr. Klein to Physiotherapy.

[ Man ] No, please. Please, I was born in a place like this.

I don't want to be here.

- Please, let me — Please. - Come on.

Jack, take care of him.

No, no, no, no, no! I want to go. Please, let me go.

Where? Where do you want to go?

To a nice place that I know about.

- Well, maybe we can go there later. - We can't go there tonight.

Maybe we can. Where do you want to go?

We can't. No, we can't. [ Sobbing ]

Hey, come on. Maybe we can. Where do you want to go?

Venice.

Like Katharine Hepburn in Summertime.

Why can't I be Katharine Hepburn?

I want to die.

- I just want to die. - Hey.

[ Beat Boxing ] Okay, ready?

♪ I like New York in June ♪

- I'm in the wrong place. - Aren't we all?

♪ I like a Gershwin tune ♪

Don't hold back. Okay!

♪ I like to read good books ♪

I don't know what to do with the children, where we're gonna put ‘em.

Goddamn daughter-in-law comes in the house looking for dust balls.

Get the fuck out of my dining room, you asshole!

That's wonderful feeling, but you're stretching.

Come on, tempo. Allegro, people, allegro.

Okay.

When you, uh —

Did you lose your mind all of a sudden, or was it a slow, gradual process?

Well...

I'm a singer by trade.

Summer stock, nightclub revues. That sort of thing.

And God, I absolutely lived for it.

I can do Gypsy — every part.

I can do it backwards.

But then one night, right in the middle of singing J Funny J...

suddenly it hit me —

What does all this mean?

I mean, that plus the fact that I'd watched all my friends die.

Sound like a veteran, don't I? [ Laughs ]

- Fuck off! - My dad would be so proud of me.

Hey.

- Pizza! - [ Man ] And about time.

- [ Woman ] Thank God. - [ Chattering ]

[ Man On PA, Indistinct ]

Never going to find her in this crowd.

She's like clockwork, Jack.

She comes through here at the same time every day.

She's late.

Thank you.

[ Man ] Parry?

Parry? Did you hear Jimmy Nichols got picked up yesterday?

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

He got caught pissing on a bookstore.

Man's a pig.

No excuse for that. Thank you, babe.

We're headed for social anarchy when people start pissing on bookstores.

Ah.

Asshole. Didn't even look at you.

Well, he's paying so he don't have to look.

Say, guy goes to work every day eight hours a day, seven days a week.

He gets his nuts so tight in a vise...

that he starts questioning the very fabric of his existence.

Then one day, about quitting time, the boss calls him into the office...

and says, "Hey, Bob, why don't you come on in here...

and kiss my ass for me, will you?"

Well, he says, "Hell with it.

I don't care what happens.

I just want to see the expression on his face...

as I jam this pair of scissors into his arm."

[ Sighs ] Then he thinks of me.

He says, "Wait a minute.

I got both my arms, I got both my legs.

At least I'm not begging for a living."

Sure enough, Bob's gonna put those scissors down...

and pucker right up.

You see, I'm what you call kind of a moral traffic light, really.

I'm, like, saying, "Red. Go no further."

[ Beeping ]

[ Gasps ]

♪ [ Orchestra: Wallz ]

[ Bell Chiming ]

[ Chattering ]

I do not need this!

A woman my age?

I'm a person. There's a person here.

This is kids' stuff.

You come, you go. All 1 do is cook like a jerk.

You're a waste of good lasagna.

Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. I don't need this.

Find yourself another dope.

You son of a bitch. [ Crying ]

[ Siren Wailing In Distance ]

God, what a beautiful night, Jack.

Hey, don't you think it's time to go now?

Running around here during the day is one thing...

but at night we could be killed by a wide variety of people.

That's stupid, Jack.

I mean, this park is mine just as much as it is theirs.

Do you think it's fair that they can keep us out...

‘cause they make us think we might get killed or something?

- Yes, I think it's very fair. - Well, I don't.

- What are you doing? - I'm cloud busting, Jack.

You ever done it? You lie on your back and concentrate on the clouds...

and you break ‘em apart with your mind.

- But you have to be nude though, Jack. - You can't do this.

- You can't defuse the psychic energy. - This is New York.

No one's allowed to be naked in a field in New York.

- It's too Midwestern. - Come on, Jack. It's wild.

It's really freeing!

The air on your body, your nipples are hard, the little guy's dangling in the wind.

- Hey, hey. Come on. - Come on, Jack.

You're pissing me off. Hey.

We're bare-ass naked in the middle of it!

I'm not doing this. This is nuts! I'm leaving.

Jack, free yourself. You know why dogs do this? It feels good, Jack!

I'm not doing that.

Yes! Yo!

- I'm leaving. - Come on, Jack.

Get back to your roots. [ Barking ]

The man talks to invisible people, he sees invisible horses...

and he's lying naked in the middle of Central Park.

I should be surprised? I'm not surprised. I'm out of my fucking mind to even be here!

Who are you talking to, Jack?

I'm talking to the little people!

Are they here?

They're saying, "Jack, go to the nearest liquor store...

findeth a Jack of Daniels that ye may be shit-faced!

Dulang, dulang!"

- They said that? - You are out of your fuckin' mind!

Bingo! Yo!

Come on, Jack. Free up the little guy. Let him flap in the breeze!

Yo, yo, pa-pu-na! Oh, oh!

Oh, Jack. [ Howling ]

[ Jack ] Nothing's happening.

[ Parry ] Concentrate.

What if some homophobic jogger runs by and kills us to get back at his father?

"Jack Lucas found dead next to a dead naked man.

The two were dead. His companion was naked."

I hate it when they use the word "companion."

It's so insinuating.

Probably boost the sales of my biography though.

The public has a fascination with celebrity murders that involve nakedness.

Bastards.

Jack, I may be going out on a limb here, but you don't seem like a happy camper.

Did you ever hear the story of the Fisher King?

No.

It begins with the king as a boy...

having to spend the night alone in the forest...

to prove his courage so he can become king.

While he's spending the night alone...

he's visited by a sacred vision.

Out of the fire appears the Holy Grail —

the symbol of God's divine grace.

And a voice said to the boy, "You shall be keeper of the grail...

so that it may heal the hearts of men."

But the boy was blinded by greater visions...

of a life filled with power and glory and beauty.

In this state of radical amazement...

he felt, for a brief moment, not like a boy...

but invincible...

like God.

So he reached in the fire to take the grail...

and the grail vanished...

leaving him with his hand in the fire to be terribly wounded.

Now, as this boy grew older...

his wound grew deeper...

until one day...

life for him lost its reason.

He had no faith in any man, not even himself.

He couldn't love...

or feel loved.

He was sick with experience.

He began to die.

One day, a fool wandered into the castle...

and found the king alone.

Now, being a fool, he was simpleminded.

He didn't see a king.

He only saw a man alone and in pain.

And he asked the king, "What ails you, friend?"

The king replied, "I'm thirsty.

I need some water to cool my throat."

So the fool took a cup from beside his bed, filled it with water...

and handed it to the king.

And as the king began to drink...

he realized his wound was healed.

He looked in his hands, and there was the Holy Grail —

that which he sought all of his life.

He turned to the fool and said with amazement...

"How could you find that which my brightest and bravest could not?"

The fool replied, "I don't know.

I only knew that you were thirsty."

It's very beautiful, isn't it?

I think I heard that at a lecture once.

I don't know.

It was, um...

a professor.

It's — At Hunter.

Parry?

Hun —

Parry.

Parry.

- Hey. Parry. - [ Gasps ]

- Jack. - Hey.

How come you never asked that girl for a date, huh?

I can't ask her. I have to earn her, Jack.

Oh, come on now. This is the 20th century. You don't have to earn a woman.

Well, maybe after we get the grail.

No, but, see, she could help you get the grail.

You know, I mean, women are great.

They make homes and they kill the livestock...

so the knights can go out there and get grails...

and slaughter villages with a clear head, huh?

Where would King Arthur be without Guinevere, huh?

Happily married, probably.

Well, that's a bad — That's a bad example.

But trust me on this. A woman who loves you...

keeps you going, gives you strength...

makes you feel like you can do anything.

Is that what your girlfriend does for you?

Sure. Yeah.

Mmm.

[ Groans ]

Mmm!

- Oof! - Oh, excuse me.

- Get out of the fuckin' way! - [ Woman Grunts ]

Yes. Two Hearts Publishing?

May I speak to Lydia, please?

Lydia? Who is Lydia?

No, I don't know her last name. I'll be off in a second.

You are calling Lydia from my apartment?

You must think I am some kind of dope.

- You son of a bitch. - I want to speak —

- Her name is Lydia. Lydia. - You stay out all night long.

You stroll in here at noon. I got two people out sick.

- Hey. Lydia! - You think I need this?

- No, no, no, no. - Shit!

I was not out with a woman last night. I was out with Parry!

- The moron? - He's not a moron.

Who's Lydia?

Lydia is the girl that Parry likes.

I thought —

- What? What did you think? - You wouldn't understand.

Don't talk to me like I'm stupid. That pisses me off.

Okay, okay. All right. I'm sorry.

- I feel indebted to the guy, okay? - What does that mean?

- There, you see? - Well, what does it mean?

I thought that if I could help him in some way —

get him this girl that he loves —

that maybe, you know...

things would change for me.

[ Sighs ]

Forget it. It's a dumb fucking idea.

You big galoot. You are such a mess.

- [ Sighs ] - Oh, listen.

[ Gasps ]

Stranger things...

have been known...

to happen.

- [Line Ringing ] - [ Woman ] Good morning.

Two Hearts Publishing.

Two Hearts Publishing.

[ Phone Rings ]

[ Woman ] ♪ I've got the power ♪

- Hello? Hello. - ♪ I've got the power ♪

- Who is this? - Hello, Lydia.

Lydia, this is Jack Lucas. I'm calling from Video Spot video rentals.

And, Lydia, you are a major credit card holder, are you not?

Well, Lydia — Lydia, I've got some good news for you.

Out of several thousand credit card holders...

in conjunction with several major credit card companies —

Which ones? Which ones? Which ones?

All of them. Which means...

that you have just won a free membership at our store.

♪ [ Band: Upbeat ]

How did this happen?

My name is — What was — How —

Was — Is my name on a list?

- Or did you pick it out of a hat? - That's right. It was a list.

Were there a lot of people in the room, or just you?

There were, uh — There were —

- What's the difference? - Because I don't —

This phone — I've never won anything in my life.

And I don't even have a VCR.

You're gonna get a free VCR with the membership, Lydia...

for a short period of time until you get one of your own.

Listen, I tell you, why don't you come down to the store...

check it out, see If you're interested.

No. Did Phyllis tell you to call me and —

Did — Did — Did Phyllis in Accounting do that?

No. No, I told you, you won a contest.

You have just —

This is gonna be rough.

It's gonna be rough.

♪ [ Vocalizing ]

- Shh. Shh. Shh. - I need to warm up.

I'm Anne Morrow Lindbergh. I can't find my baby!

[ Jack Mutters ]

I knew I could make you smile. [ Giggles ]

All right, come on. Look, one chorus and then you're out of there.

Jack, I'm a man with a mission.

I can't believe I'm on a first-name basis with these people.

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

Can I help you?

Is there a mousy little woman named Lydia who works here?

Yes. If you'll wait here, I'll get her on the phone.

Oh, no, it's a personalized message. I have to give it to her in person.

You can't go back there. You're really not allowed to go —

[ People Murmuring ]

Lydia Sinclair?

[ Stapling ]

[ Clears Throat ]

Wha —

You must be she.

♪ I had a dream ♪

♪ A dream for — Guess who Lydia ♪

♪ It wasn't for her, Lydia ♪

♪ It's only for you ♪

♪ Yes, Lydia ♪

♪ Some people can get their kicks ♪

♪ Watching Koppel and late-night flicks ♪

♪ That's okay for some people ♪

♪ Who don't own VCRs ♪

♪ But, Lydia ♪

♪ You've won our grand prize ♪

♪ Just think of it

♪ All the movies you'll watch for free now ♪

♪ Dramas, Westerns, comedies, wow ♪

♪ Video Spot has the best selection ♪

♪ If you like porno ♪

♪ We're your connection ♪

♪ And everything's coming up videos ♪

♪ Everything's coming up videos ♪

♪ But this time for free ♪

♪ For you, Lydia ♪

♪ Ford

♪ Free ♪

[ Screams ] Oh!

[ Phones Ringing ]

Our card.

28 [ Whistling ]

It'll be like you work here.

What am I qualified to do?

- Sort. You know. This a little tight? - Tight, yeah.

- [ Anne Groans ] - Yeah.

You're looking good.

Sir. Sir.

Mmm. Mmm.

Yeah, this'll be good. This will make you smell like a forest.

- [ Door Bell Jingling ] - [ Exhales ]

[ Parry Clears Throat ]

Hello. My name is Lydia Sinclair.

Oh, hi! How you doing?

Congratulations. Jack Lucas. Nice to finally meet you.

This is Anne Napolitano, the Video Spot owner.

Hello. Congratulations.

And this is our coworker...

Parry — Parry —

[ Lydia ] Parry Parry?

No, just Parry.

Oh. Like Moses.

[ Laughs Loudly ]

So how do we do this?

Well, first we'll have you sign out an official membership card there.

Sign that if you would. We'll have that laminated for you right here.

[ Jack Tapping On Counter ]

Parry, would you like to laminate Miss Sinclair's card?

[ Parry ] Oh, yeah.

This will last you for a year...

after which you have the option to renew, if you wish, at a membership discount.

Yeah, but not for free, right?

- [ Anne ] Yeah. - [ Jack ] Yeah, you get 10 videos.

- Free? - Free.

Yeah, only the first 10. After that, they're 2.99 a rental.

[ Parry ] Jack? Jack.

All right, go on. Go on.

- Can I help you? - No. No. I can look myself.

Okay.

Hell Merchants. Good choice.

I don't like horror movies.

Oh.

How about, uh...

[ Stammers ] The Purple Bread?

It's a Zbigniew Speizak film.

Let's see.

It's set against a sweeping background of a "polish" bakery.

Polish b — Polish bak — That's Polish bakery.

That's why it's in subtitles.

Don't like love — Polish love stories.

- I like musicals. - Music — Musicals. Musicals.

Over here. [ Chuckling ]

Here's our entertainment center. We have, uh —

Oh, here's, uh, Fred Astaire. That's — That's good.

Um, yeah, Jolson! ♪ Mammy J And, uh, Judy Gar —

- You got any Ethel Merman? - Ethel Merman. Oh, she's —

[ Muttering ]

- We're all out of Ethel Merman. - Oh!

- What a gyp! - That sucks.

[ Jack Clears Throat ]

I think I actually ordered some just the other day.

Well, did you or didn't you?

Yeah. They'll be in soon.

- Well — - [ Parry Clears Throat ]

I'll come back then.

Uh, Miss Sinclair.

Your card. Don't forget it.

I like your nails. Where did you get 'em done?

Uh, actually, I — I do them myself.

I used to work in a beauty parlor.

I like the stars.

[ Jack ] You know, uh, Anne does other people...

sort of as a sideline.

She could do your nails.

- How much? - Well, you're a member.

- We could probably work something out — - Forty dollars.

- [ Groans ] - Forty dollars?

Forty —

Forty — For— Um -F —

[ Muttering ] Okay.

- When will you do 'em? - I don't know. Next — Next, uh —

Tonight?

Tonight.

Tonight.

Tonight.

Thank you.

You know, Jack, getting your nails done is one thing.

But going out to dinner with a bunch of strangers, and that one —

- We're gonna make it very casual. - She didn't even look at him.

- It won't be like a date. - You got any more starchy food?

I mean, this — this is good.

- [ Fork Drops On Floor ] - Oh. Clumsy moi.

Thank you!

I mean, I've gone out with some bums in my day, but they were beautiful.

That is the only reason to go out with a bum.

This food is delicious, Anne. Really.

You're a wonderful cook, and you have a great set of... dishes.

Jack. He's trying to start a conversation.

Well, talk to him. He's not going to bite you.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

You know, you are a beautiful woman.

You've got your own business.

I am surprised some guy doesn't just snatch you up all for his own.

Oh, you're surprised?

Guess I just never met the right guy. What are you gonna do?

You know, I'm shocked.

I mean, a childbearing body like yours.

Well, I mean, a guy would have to be out of his mind.

Most guys are.

- No. - Hmph.

You, this incredible woman, going to waste before my very eyes?

No! This is outrageous!

I will not hear this. No! No! Come on!

- Jack, get over here. - I am your man then.

Let's do it right here!

- Let's go to that place of splendor in the grass! - Okay, calm down. Jack. Jack!

- Behold my magic wand. - Jack.

- And free your golden orbs right now. - Jack, get over here.

- You know what I'm saying. Yes. - What are you?

- § Holding my penis ♪ - Out of your mind?

- & What a wonderful way - Close that — Jack!

- & Of saying how much you like — ♪ - Jack!

- Parry, close your pants. - Took you long enough.

- What are you? About a 40 in a jacket? - Yeah, that's it.

This is gonna work.

You let me know, ‘cause you're too good a woman to go to waste.

Oh.

[ Bell Rings ]

[ Buzzer Sounds ]

Oh. Welcome.

Come in.

I've never been in an apartment above a store before.

You always walk past them on the streets when you walk by...

but you never really think anyone really lives in them.

Can I get you something? A little coffee?

- A little tea? - No.

- A little tequila? - Nope.

Will it h-hurt?

That all depends on you.

You sure you don't want a drink?

- Yes. Just enjoy this. That-a-boy. - [ Chuckling ]

- This is mud. - We just washed that off.

- This is gonna make you look great. - Mm-hmm.

It's good mud.

- Shh. - Shh! Shh.

- Close — - Mm-hmm.

- lips. - Mmm.

[ Chuckles ] Ner —

- Close. - What are you doing?

Hmm?

There we go.

Now, you just relax.

[ Chuckles ]

So, anybody special in your life?

Does it look like there's anybody special in my life?

Well, you don't have to say it like that.

It's not so, you know, crazy an idea. You're a healthy woman.

You have a steady job. You're not cross-eyed or anything.

Nope, there is nobody special.

Okay. Fine.

I mean, it's — it's not easy in this day and age.

What's not easy?

- Meeting people. - Oh, God. Tell me about it.

I've been dating longer than I've been driving.

I can't believe that.

I have never been through a dating period.

It's a disgusting process.

You haven't missed a thing.

- Hold still. - I'm so excited.

I mean, did you feel like this when you first met Anne? Huh?

Because she's a wonderful woman. She loves you too much, Jack.

Ah, but you love her too. Don't you?

You know you do. It's just that you're a little bit of an asshole sometimes.

Sorry.

Thanks.

[ Jack Grunts ]

My mother calls me once a week like an ongoing nightmare.

"So, have you met anyone?" "No, Mom."

"So, what's going to happen?" "I don't know, Mom."

Thank God I moved out of that house.

I cannot believe that you lived with her as long as you did.

If I had to live with my mother, I would stab myself six times.

I think some people are meant to be alone.

This is my idea, that I — I was born a man in a former life...

and I used women for pleasure...

SO NOW...

I'm paying for it.

I wouldn't mind so much if I could just remember the pleasure parts.

I think you're getting a little too complicated.

What, in your opinion, is the actual problem?

I don't make an impression on people.

At office parties, I rearrange the hors d'oeuvres...

while people are eating them...

so that the platters will remain full.

I never start any of the conversations because I just don't know —

[ Sighs ] I don't know where to make it end, to go —

Listen, listen, listen.

You gotta be a little easier on yourself, doll.

A conversation has a life of its own. You know?

You have to have some faith in that fact.

I mean, look at us.

We're having...

a very lovely conversation.

I'm paying you.

Oh, look, will you stop it? I'm not like that. I don't do people favors.

If I talk to you, it's because I want to talk to you.

All right, you're not a supermodel. We can't all be Jerry Hall.

What a boring world it would be if we were all Jerry Hall.

You do the best you can with what you got.

You're not so invisible.

Hey, you want a personality?

Try this on for size.

You can be a real bitch.

- Really? - Yeah.

Really? [ Laughing ]

[ Both Laughing ]

I'm going to give you my wallet so you can pay for dinner. Okay?

You're a nice man, Jack, doing all this for me.

Come on. HMM?

- I'm scared. - No, no, no, no.

I mean, I feel so much for her.

I feel like something awful's gonna happen.

- Nothing awful is gonna happen. - No?

No, no, no. Anne is gonna be there.

I'm gonna be there. Nothing awful's gonna happen.

- Okay? - I'm still scared.

- I know. It's gonna be fine. - Okay.

- Okay. - All right.

- You're looking good. - You too. [ Chuckles ]

Just remember to breathe.

- Okay, I gotta breathe. - Big breath.

[ Both Laughing, Cackling ]

[ Jack ] Anne? Anne.

Anne!

- Oh! Oh! - [ Lydia Gasps ]

- Please. No, stay. - [ Jack ] Look! Lydia. How you doing?

Look, Parry. It's Lydia Sinclair, our membership winner.

- I know. - [ Lydia Chuckles ]

- So, what have you fellas been up to? - Well, everything's locked up downstairs.

- We thought we'd get some dinner. - Oh.

♪ — Ow! Jack! [ Groaning ]

Say, anybody up for Chinese?

- Ooh! Ooh! - Have you eaten? Would you like to join us?

- Uh, no, thank you. - Watch your nails!

- I'd rather go home. - Me too.

No, Parry. Parry, Parry, Parry, come on.

- Come on. You still have to eat. - No, I'd like to go now.

- Don't blow this. - Jack, please.

Hey.

- I'd rather go home. - What did I tell you? It's only dinner.

Okay? Come on. You're gonna do this.

You'll have something to tell your mother the next time she calls.

- I don't give a flying — - You are coming!

[ All ] Fine.

[ Parry ] What do you do?

[ Lydia ] Well, I get to read the books sometimes.

- But mostly I calculate production costs — - Parry.

- [ Bottle Clatters ] - from —

Calculation costs from...

first-edition hardcover to —

- Sorry. Softcover. - Oh.

And after softcover, it's basically somebody else's problem then.

Boy, that sounds real exciting.

Why does it sound exciting? It's not exciting at all.

Why not? [ Stammers ]

I mean, y-y-your calculations determine whether a book is published or not.

It, um, you know —

Maybe it's a book that changes the way people think or, you know, act.

Yeah, but what we publish is mostly trashy romance novels.

Don't say that.

There's nothing trashy about romance.

In romance, there's passion...

there's imagination...

there's beauty.

Besides, you —

you find some pretty wonderful things in the trash.

[ Anne ] Ooh, dumplings.

I could eat all of these.

[ Jack ] Lydia, would you like a dumpling?

- Some tea? - Yes, please.

There you go.

Parry?

- [ Chuckles ] - Oh!

Oh — Oh, boy.

[ Chuckling ] Sorry.

Oh. Hey!

[ Chuckles ]

Oh!

- [ Glass Shatters ] - [ Man ] Hello.

[ Parry ] Sorry.

- [ Coughs, Sniffs ] - [ Sniffs ]

- It's hot. - Whew!

Uh —

H-Help her with that.

Need some help?

[ Slurps ]

- &&' [ Humming ] - Thanks.

[ Lydia Burping ]

- [ Lydia Groaning, Muttering ] - [ Burping Continues ]

[ Parry ] Oh! Excuse me!

Contagious, huh?

What do you think?

- [ Lydia Laughs ] - [ Parry 1 Good stuff, huh?

I think that they were made for each other.

[ Lydia Continues Muttering ]

It's scary, but true.

- [ Parry ] You're better off than me. - [ Lydia ] No. No.

- [ Parry ] You got it? You got it? - [ Dishes Clattering ]

I got it. You got it.

There it is. Okay.

[ Anne Laughing ]

- [ Lydia Laughing ] - Yay!

[ All Laughing ]

- [ Lydia Snorts ] - [ Laughing Continues ]

♪ Oh, Lydia, oh, Lydia Say, have you met Lydia? ♪

♪ Lydia the tattooed lady ♪

♪ She has eyes that men adore so ♪

♪ And a torso even more so ♪

♪ Oh, Lydia, oh, Lydia Say, have you met Lydia? ♪

♪ Lydia the queen of tattoos ♪

♪ On her back is the battle of Waterloo ♪

♪ The sight of the wreck of the Hesperus too ♪

♪ And proudly above waves the red, white and blue

♪ You can learn a lot from Lydia ♪

♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ When her robe is unfurled, she will show you the world ♪

♪ If you step up and tell her where ♪

♪ For a dime, you can see Kankakee or Paris ♪

♪ Or Washington crossing the Delaware ♪

♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ Oh, Lydia, oh, Lydia Say, have you met Lydia? ♪

♪ Lydia the tattooed lady ♪

♪ When her muscles start relaxing ♪

♪ Up the hill comes Michael Jackson ♪

- ♪ Oh, Lydia, oh, Lydia ♪ - [ Anne Laughing ]

- [ Jack ] Oh! - ♪ [Fades ]

- No, come on! Come on! - Oh!

Did you see her with the noodles?

She had a noodle hanging down her head.

[ Both Laughing ]

I couldn't believe it.

Come on.

And then they started in on the dumplings.

They were playing hockey with the dumpling on the table.

- It was broccoli. Broccoli! - No, it was a dumpling.

[ Jack Cackles ]

They were batting it around with a chopstick.

- Oh, God. Stop, or I'm gonna lose it right here. - No, wait, the burping.

[ Biker ] Yo, Lydia!

Watch out! Hey!

Tell me more about yourself. I'd like to know everything.

Well, th-there's nothing more to tell.

Oh, don't say that.

- No, that's it. - It's enough for me.

- I really think she went for him. - Oh, I know.

- She went for him. - I can't believe I did it.

Amor vincit omnia.

What?

It's Latin.

It means "Love conquers all."

I don't mean us. I don't mean us.

I mean everybody else.

Mmm. God, you think it'll work out?

Who knows? Who knows?

Two people could be at a party together...

sitting right across from each other, and never find each other.

Another two people could be on opposite sides of the world...

and nothing could keep them apart.

Who knows?

The thing is, if a thing is meant to happen-

- What? - Nothing.

- Come on. - Wait a minute.

You must be very proud of yourself.

You did a great thing for somebody tonight.

I was very proud to be with you tonight.

You were great.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Steamed dumplings!

- [ Laughing ] - Moo shu pork!

- [ Grunting ] - [ Laughing Continues ]

You don't have to say that.

I never say anything I have to.

No, I mean, you don't have to say nice things to me.

It's a little old-fashioned, considering what we're about to do.

What are we about to do?

- You're walking me home. - Mm-hmm.

- I think you're a little attracted to me. - [ Man Shouts, Faint ]

- Yeah. - And —

[ Sighs ] You'll probably want to come upstairs for some coffee.

I don't drink coffee.

And we'll probably have a drink and talk...

and get to know each other a little bit better.

Get comfortable.

And then you'll —

you'll sleep over.

And in the morning, you'll awake...

and you'll be distant.

And you won't be able to stay for breakfast.

Maybe just a cup of coffee.

I don't drink coffee.

And then we'll exchange phone numbers...

and you'll leave...

and never call.

And I'll go to work and I'll feel so good...

for the first hour...

and then...

ever so slowly, I'll turn into a piece of dirt.

I don't know why I'm putting myself through this.

It was really nice to meet you.

Night.

[ Parry ] Night.

[ Stammers ] Excuse me!

Wait. Just — Hey!

Sorry. Wait one minute. Hey. Excuse me.

Please wait. Wait.

- No, listen. I'm not feeling very well. - No wonder.

We just met, made love and broke up, all in the space of 30 seconds.

And I don't remember having the first kiss, which I think is the best part.

- Listen, it was so very special to meet you — - It was for me too.

- I had such a wonderful evening — - But I think it's time you should shut up now.

Shut up. Please?

I'm not coming up to your apartment.

That was never my intention.

Oh. God. You don't want to.

Oh, no, I want to!

I have a hard-on for you the size of Florida.

But I don't want just one night.

I have a confession I have to make to you.

- You're married? - No.

- You're divorced? - No.

- Do you have a disease? - No. Please stop.

I'm in love with you.

Shh-shh-shh.

Not just from tonight.

I've known you for a long time.

I know that you come out from work at noon every day.

You fight your way out that door, then you get pushed back in...

and three seconds later you come back out again.

And I walk with you to lunch, and I know if it's a good day...

if you stop and get that romance novel at that bookstore.

I know what you order, and I know on Wednesdays you go to that dim sum parlor.

And I know that you get a jawbreaker before you go back in to work.

And I know you hate your job and you don't have many friends.

And I know sometimes you feel a little uncoordinated...

and you don't feel as wonderful as everybody else...

feeling as alone and separate as you feel you are.

I love you.

I love you. [ Chuckles ]

And I think you're the greatest thing since spice racks.

And I'd be knocked out several times if I could just have that first kiss.

And I won't — I won't be distant.

I'll come back in the morning, and I'll call you, if you let me.

But I still don't drink coffee.

[ Laughs ]

- You're real. - [ Chuckles ]

Aren't you?

Good night.

It's the wrong door.

You can call me.

[ Snickering ] She didn't give me the number.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Woman Screaming ]

[ Gasping ]

No — No! No!

Please let me have this.

- [ Voices Chattering, Overlapping ] - Let me h — Let me have this!

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

[ Shrieking ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

[ Sirens Wailing ]

[ Horns Honking ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Shouting ] Where are you?

[ Shrieking ] Where are you?

[ Sobbing ]

- [ Tires Screeching ] - [ Door Opens ]

[ Parry Groaning ]

We're tired of looking at you people!

[ Train Passing ]

Thank you.

[ Groaning ]

[ Laughs ] Yeah, well, I'm feeling good.

I don't know how else to put it, Lou.

Yeah, well, I — [ Clears Throat ] I had those personal problems to work out.

And, uh, I have, and now I want to get back to work.

You think that's possible?

Yeah, I understand.

I am. Yeah.

I won't.

I will.

Great. When?

Tuesday is fine.

Tuesday is great, Lou. All right. I'll see you then.

Thanks a lot. Okay. Bye.

Who — Who's Lou?

- Lou is my agent. - You're kidding.

- I called my agent. - What did he say?

He says that if I want to get back to work, no problem...

that I just come in and, uh...

we talk and that's it.

Oh, baby!

That's terrific! Mmm!

I gotta get these tapes organized. You seen my jacket?

- It's in the bathroom. - In the bathroom.

I got the coffee here if you want it.

You made coffee?

You're going back to work, and you made coffee?

I'm loving this.

Mmm! [ Laughing ]

- Oh! You know what would be neat? - Mmm?

Now that there's going to be another income coming in...

I would love to look for a bigger place.

I mean, I don't want to rush anything...

but I'd like to start looking anyway.

You know? Maybe a two-bedroom?

Or maybe even the top floor of a house?

Say, in Brooklyn... Heights?

[ Laughing ]

What?

You don't want to commute, right?

- That's all right. We could — - Come here.

You are an incredible woman.

- I'm an incredible woman? - Yeah.

- What's this, a death sentence? - No, no. I want to talk about this.

So much has happened...

that I think it would be a good thing for both of us...

if we...

slowed down a little.

Slowed down? Where have I been? Have we been going fast here?

Come on, Anne, now, look, this has been...

a real, real difficult time for me this past year or so.

Yeah?

And, uh, you know, I feel like I'm above water for the first time.

I feel I know a lot more now, and I don't want to make any more mistakes.

- So? - I think I need time to...

make the right choices, to, uh —

W-Wait, wait, wait. I'm lost here.

- What are you saying? - I think maybe I should be alone for a while.

You know, now that I know more, you know...

I-I feel that, uh...

I should focus on my career now that I can, now that everything's taken care of.

- You know, Parry's, uh — - All right, first of all —

Let me just say one thing, okay?

You don't know shit. Okay?

Secondly, as far as we go...

what have we been doing here except time?

Have I — Have I ever pressured you? Once? Ever?

- No. - No.

So what time do you need, baby?

I love you. You love me.

You want to get your career going? I think that's the greatest thing in the world.

I want to be there when — I'm sorry. I want to be there when it happens.

So wh-what do you need time to figure out? Huh?

All right, I-let me — let me just ask you one thing.

Do you love me?

I don't know.

You can't even give me that, can you?

Jesus, Jack! What were you planning on doing here?

Were you planning on just packing up your things, walking out the door...

and dropping me a note when you meet somebody new?

I had no idea what I was planning to do. I just said I need time.

Bullshit!

If you're gonna hurt me, hurt me now...

not some long, drawn-out hurt that takes months of my life...

because you don't have the balls!

Okay. I'll pack my stuff tonight.

Um, what have you been doing here? Could you just tell me that?

What have you been doing here?

- We both got something out of this — - What did I get?

What did I get?

What did I get I couldn't have gotten from anybody with no name...

any night of the week?

Do you think your company is such a treat?

Your moods, your pain, your problems? Do you think this has been entertaining for me?

Then what do you want to stay with me for?

Because I love you.

You stupid fucking —

- Hey. - fucking — [ Sobbing ]

Anne. Shh, shh, shh.

- Anne. Hey. Shh. - [ Sobbing Continues ]

Come here.

Shh.

No, no, stop it. Stop it. Don't. Don't. No.

You don't get to be nice!

I'm not going to play some stupid game with you...

where we act we're like friends...

so you get to walk out that door feeling good about yourself.

I'm not a modern woman.

If this is over, let's just — let's just call it over.

[ Phone Ringing ]

Yeah? Yeah.

M-My wallet? What do you mean?

Parry.

Parry.

Parry?

He can't hear you.

I'm Dr. Manderville. I was on duty when they brought him in.

I've been going over his record. He was brought in once before, I understand.

Catatonic stupor. Condition rendered him nonverbal.

Yeah, yeah. So the guy, he's been beat up. He's got a concussion, right? He's —

Right? He's gonna snap out of it.

I'm afraid not.

See, the beating's bad, but it's not the problem.

He seems to be reexperiencing the catatonia.

So like before, he could snap out of it in an hour...

or 13 months, or 13 years.

There's no way to be sure.

A person could actually reexperience the full effect of a tragedy...

long after the event took place.

I was reading how he lost his wife.

Are you relatives?

Well, it doesn't matter. We'll take care of him.

He'll have to be sent back to the same institution.

What if I was a relative?

Well, you'd have the option to care for him at home.

But my advice is, I wouldn't recommend it.

It wouldn't be good for him. He needs hospital care.

I just thought you could sign the release forms, but the city can do that.

I'm sorry.

[ Door Closes ]

Poor Lydia.

She finally finds her prince, and he falls into a coma.

Some women just have no luck, huh?

Anne.

Anne!

Anne!

I'll call you, okay?

The answer: two dwarves and a melon.

Well, I'm out of here. Have a perfect weekend.

And remember, on Monday's show we have as our special studio guest, Ben Starr...

star of the recently defunct hit TV show On the Radlo.

So, from one of the botched to all of you bungled cats out there...

I love you, and right back at you.

[ Women ] ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪

♪ And don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more ♪

- [ Rings ] - ♪ [ Continues ]

Yeah?

Yeah, Lou, look, I said I want an offer or they can forget it.

Uh-huh. You tell them I'm talking to the cable people about a talk show.

What?

Beth's father set it up.

No, he owns it.

[ Woman ] ♪ I've got the power ♪

[Man] ♪ Don't think this, don't think that ♪

[ Woman ] ♪ I've got the power ♪

♪ I've got the power ♪

- You gotta get outta here. - I'm not bothering any —

- Come on. You gotta move it. - Jack?

Come on. Let's go. Come on.

- Jack! - Hey, stop it.

- No! Jack, it's me! - Come on.

Stop it! I know that guy!

- Jack! - [ Officer ] Just get outta here.

Jack, do you remember me? "Venice!" You know me, Jack. Jack!

Jack, please, can I — Jack, can I talk to you, please?

Jack, I need to talk. Jack! We spent time together!

- That's enough. - Jack, please!

- Please let me talk to him! - Do you know this guy?

Please talk to me! Why won't you talk to me?

- Leave me alone! - [ Officer ] Come on!

- [ Officer Grunting ] - Why? [ Sobbing ]

♪ I've got the power ♪

It's a weekly comedy about the homeless, but it's not depressing in any way.

We want to find a funny, upbeat way...

of bringing the issue of homelessness to television.

So we've got three wacky homeless characters.

But they're wise. They're wacky and they're wise.

And the hook is, they love being homeless.

They love the freedom, they love the adventure.

It's all about the joy of living, not the bullshit that we have to deal with —

the money, the politics.

And the best part is, it's called Home Free.

[ Lou ] Ooh. I'm getting a rush.

- [ Woman ] Oh! Really! - What is this?

Another disappearing act with this guy?

No. I-It's, uh, not a problem. It's a bathroom break.

Took a bathr — I'll check.

Shit.

- Parry. - [Parry ] There.

[Jack] What?

[Parry] It's a grail!

The Holy Grall.

[Jack] The Holy —

Some billionaire has got the Holy Grail in his library on Fifth Avenue?

[ Parry Chuckiing ] My thoughts exactly.

Who'd think you'd find anything divine on the Upper East Side?

[ Parry Laughing ]

They said you're the one.

[ Jack ] Henry Sagan?

[ Muttering ]

- [ Tapping ] - Oh, pardon me.

Uh, not long ago, I left some new sheets for Parry.

They were lime-colored, very much like this color here, with watermelons.

Oh, yes, yes.

I'm sorry. They're being cleaned.

The doctor had a little accident with a hypo.

Well, that's all right. Just make sure that he does get them when they are cleaned.

Thank you.

[ Muttering Continues ]

[ Man ] All right, settle down.

[ Patients Muttering ]

Hi. It's Jack.

[ Clears Throat ] How you doing? You're looking good.

You do.

Hey.

You gonna wake up for me? Hmm?

[ Scoffs ]

This isn't over, is it?

You think you're gonna make me do this, don't you?

Well, forget it. No fuckin' way.

I don't feel responsible for you or for anybody.

Everybody's got bad things that happen to them.

I'm not God!

I don't decide —

People survive.

Say something!

Everything's been going great.

Great. [ Clears Throat ]

I'm gonna have my own cable talk show.

Uh-huh.

With an incredible equity, I might add.

I've got an incredible —

incredibly fucking gorgeous girlfriend.

I'm living an incredible fucking life.

So don't lay there in your comfortable little coma...

and think I'm going to risk all that because I feel responsible for you.

I'm not responsible!

And I don't feel guilty. You've got it easy.

I'm out there every day, every fucking day...

trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing...

why no matter what I have, it feels like I have nothing.

So I don't feel sorry for you. It's easy being nuts.

Try being me!

So I won't doit.

I don't believe in this shit.

Don't give me that stuff about me being the one.

There's nothing —

nothing special about me.

I control my own destiny, not some...

floating, overweight fairies.

I decide what I'm gonna do, and I'm not gonna risk my life...

to get some fucking cup...

for some fucking vegetable!

You motherfucker!

What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do?

[ Whimpering ] What am I supposed to do?

Cup.

Okay. All right. For sake of argument, let's say I do do this.

Okay?

If I do this...

I want you to know it wouldn't be because I felt I had to...

or because I felt cursed or guilty or responsible or anything.

If I do this —

[ Gasps ] Shit.

[ Sobbing ]

If I do this —

and I mean /f—

it's because I want to do this for you.

That's all.

For you.

Don't go anywhere.

Shit!

[ Grunting ]

[ Clattering ]

[ Horse Whinnying ]

Great.

- [ Sirens Wailing ] - [ Horns Honking ]

I'm hearing horses now.

Parry will be so pleased.

Radio personality turns screwball on mission from God.

I just hope when they put me away, they find me a place right next to his.

Okay.

[ Groaning ]

Fuck!

[ Shouting ]

Fuck.

Thank God nobody looks up in this town.

[ Panting ]

Shit.

Shit.

[ Grunts ]

[ Panting Continues ]

"Lannie Carmichael."

[ Scoffs ]

"Christmas, 1932."

[ Scoffs ]

- [ Glass Clatters ] - [ Gasps ]

[ Wheezing ]

[ Faint Groaning ]

Shit.

Hey.

- [ Groaning ] - Hey, come on. Wake up!

Christ.

[ Alarm Bell Ringing ]

- [ Chuckles ] - [ Alarm Horn Blaring ]

- [ Alarms Continue ] - [ Sirens Wailing, Distant ]

All right, I did my side of the bargain.

Here's your cup.

You gonna wake up now?

[ Scoffs ]

[ Sighs ]

Mmm. You want to think about it a little more.

[ Exhales ] Okay.

Take your time.

I had this dream, Jack.

I was married.

I was married to this beautiful woman.

And you were there too.

I really miss her, Jack.

Is that okay?

Can I miss her now?

Thank you.

[ Muttering ]

23 [ Humming ]

[ Parry ] Tempo, okay? Allegro. Here we go.

[ Men ] ♪ I like New York in June ♪

♪ How about you? ♪

♪ I like a Gershwin tune ♪

♪ How about you? ♪

♪ I like a fireside ♪

- ♪ When a storm is due ♪ - ♪ [ Vocalizing ]

♪ I like potato chips and moonlight and motor trips ♪

♪ How about you? ♪

♪ I'm mad about good books ♪

Jo [ Continues, Faint ]

Hi, sweetheart! Where you been?

Hey.

What's this face all about? Why are you crying?

Are you my girl?

Huh?

Are you my girl?

- Yes. - [ Laughs ]

[ Lydia Whimpering ]

- Hey. - [ Laughing ] Oh!

Baby.

♪ [ Singing Continues ]

♪ Holding hands in the movie show ♪

♪ When all the lights are low

♪ May not be new ♪

♪ But l like it ♪

♪ How about you? 2;

[ Man Cackles ]

Well?

What do you expect me to do?

Applaud?

What? What?

What'd you come here for?

Did you come to get the rest of your stuff? There's no more stuff, Jack.

It all got burned. Accidentally.

Jack, don't do this. Whatever the hell it is you're doing, don't do it. Okay?

You don't just show up here out of nowhere and then stand there like a statue...

and make me do all the work.

[ Shaky Breath ] What did you come here for?

Mmm.

[, uh...

love you, uh —

What?

I didn't get that.

Would you run it by me again?

Mmm, I think, um —

Yes?

I realize...

I love you.

You love me, huh?

[ Laughing ]

You son of a bitch.

[ Parry ] God, what a beautiful night, huh?

- Hey, look. - What?

They're moving.

Am I doing that?

[ Parry ] You crazy? It's the wind.

[ Jack Laughs ]

[ Parry ] ♪ I like New York in June ♪

♪ How about you? ♪

[ Together ] ♪ I like a Gershwin tune ♪

♪ How about you? 2;

[ Both Laughing ]

[ Jack ] Oh, Christ!

[ Both Howling ]

[ Laughing Continues ]

[ Parry ] Good night, Manhattan!

- Say "good night," Jack. - Good night, Jack!

[ Parry Laughing ]

[Man] ♪ I ike New York in June ♪

♪ How ‘bout you? ♪

♪ I like a Gershwin tune ♪

♪ How about you? ♪

♪ I love a fireside ♪

♪ When a storm is due ♪

♪ I like potato chips ♪

♪ Moonlight and motor trips ♪

♪ How about you? ♪

♪ I'm mad about good books ♪

♪ Can't get my fill ♪

♪ And Franklin Roosevelt's looks ♪

♪ Give me a thrill ♪

♪ Holding hands in the movie show ♪

♪ When all the lights are low ♪

♪ May not be new ♪

♪ But ♪

Slike it,

♪ How about you? ♪

♪ [ Whistling Melody ]

♪ I'm mad about good books ♪

♪ Can't get my fill ♪

♪ And Franklin Roosevelt's looks ♪

♪ Give me a thrill ♪

♪ Holding hands in the movie show ♪

♪ When all the lights are low ♪

♪ May not be new ♪

♪ But ♪

Slike it,

♪ How about ♪

Slike it,

♪ How about ♪

Slike it,

♪ How about ♪

♪ You? JJ,

J) [ Orchestra Continues ]