Original subtitles

I've been travelling through East Africa, visiting countries with a bad

reputation, to see if we should give them another go.

So far, I've seen the delights of Uganda and Rwanda.

Now, after an exploding volcano and a civil war wrecked my original plans,

moved on to Madagascar.

Would I find an island full of talking lions and dancing lemurs?

Find out on this thrilling episode of The Misadventures of Romesh Ranganathan.

In a language they couldn't even begin to understand, I'd bid farewell to the

gorillas of Rwanda.

Boarding a plane to Madagascar, a former French colony that constitutes the

fourth largest island on Earth.

We are in Madagascar. I'm very, very excited.

I've watched the film, thought the first two were great, I thought the third one

was slightly lacking, if I'm being honest with you.

A group of animals leave New York Zoo and they end up in Madagascar.

And Madagascar literally symbolises the middle of nowhere. So I wasn't expecting

this. It would have been a very different film if you saw the group of

wandering through this town.

List five things about Madagascar that you know.

Madagascar 1, 2 and 3.

An island.

And Liberated Sardine.

I'm just looking forward to finding out what this place is about.

My guide for the week would be Bic.

a diving instructor from the south of the island.

Vic.

Hey, mate.

How you doing, brother?

Nice to meet you, finally.

How are you? Nice to meet you, too. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. Yeah, welcome

to Madagascar. I can't believe I'm here. I know nothing about Madagascar. That's

the reason I've come.

Yeah, okay. To find out all about it. Our life here is, we say, Mura Mura.

Mura mura. Mura mura. It means everything is like slowly, slowly.

Okay? Okay.

Now you're talking my language.

Are you hungry?

Yeah, always hungry.

Okay, so we get the taxi.

Let's get this one.

We go to another.

Okay.

Hello.

Very cozy.

Our taxi is a bit, you know.

Big told me we would be spending time seeing the cultural and natural delights

the country has to offer.

Venturing up and down the west coast of the island, experiencing Madagascar's

unique vistas, flora, and fauna.

But we would start with a lunchtime trip to the biggest market on the island,

located in the chaotic capital, Antanananananananaviro.

Yeah, so we're gonna get some puke.

They don't fill it straight into the car.

Well, the taxi are filling on the jerrycan.

So taxi drivers are driving around with a can full of fuel at all times?

All the time. So as soon as they have a client, they get the money, hide the

fuel, and then they all off they go. See now?

Like most of them full.

We've got two full cans of fuel in the car.

It's going to be a spare one.

And he's filling it here?

Yeah. So he just puts a straw in the can and then that's it?

That's it, yeah. I can't believe it.

I hope our driver's a non -smoker.

Vic told me that the capital, known locally by the much more manageable

is home to over three million inhabitants, a unique melting pot of

colonial, Indian and African influences.

He took me along to the local market to sample the delicious local cuisine.

Okay. This is the final soup.

It's a really good soup. Okay. But fortunately, you are vegan, so... So, is

a delicacy, then?

What do you mean?

I think, like, it's a speciality dish.

Yes. This one is very special, yeah. This is amazing. Everybody has stopped

a bowl. Yeah. So, what is this soup? What is that meat?

Basically, the soup, it's made of, like, you know, the... You know, the dish.

And it's very famous, and only here you can... That's... You're going to find

that. Is it dick soup?

Yeah, the dick of the zebu.

What's a zebu?

Zebu is a cow, like a type of cow. Oh, like a cow, okay.

Is it dick soup?

It is.

So they chop like a piece of it like that. That's a slice of penis.

It is. How big is a zebu's dick?

It's about like a meter and a half long.

You know, it's a big animal.

You know, it's like 500 kilograms of animal.

So that's slightly smaller than an average dude. Yeah.

What's the reason for eating dick?

Well, basically the zebu dicks give you strength.

Yeah.

Okay.

Very good.

Is it only zebu dick in this soup?

And I mix it up with some vegetable.

This is dick and two veg? Yes.

And how does the dick taste?

It tastes like a very soft meat, you know? This is a weird question, but does

taste dicky? Are you aware of the dick? I think... I wear off the dick.

How often do you have this?

Because I'm going to be honest with you, part of me thinks that you've tried

this to try it, but it's not a regular thing for you. Do you have this all the

time? No, I don't think so.

But nice?

Yeah.

I think you're not used to eating dick either, are you?

Okay, are we good?

Very good.

We can't have any more. Don't make him have any more.

With Bix suitably stuffed, we ease back into the taxi for a drive up to the

rover. The old palace once home to the island's notorious Mad Queen.

Look at this view.

Yeah, it's really high up.

That's the lake.

So this is the wall for the Mad Queen Palace.

Queen Ranavaluna I ruled the kingdom of Madagascar from this palace from 1828 to

1861, a time during which she earned a reputation for unsurpassed cruelty.

Having succeeded her husband Radama, she marked her coronation by bathing in a

vat of bull's blood and quickly set about trying to eliminate all foreign

influence on the island.

Her 33 -year reign saw her slaughter Christians in their thousands and

repel European colonial advances, with enemies infamously taken to this spot

high above the city and thrown from the cliff to their death.

She's quite tough, eh?

She was trying to get rid of all of the outside influences, colonialism, etc.

Exactly. And if you didn't agree, then you go over the top here?

Yeah, over the top here, or burn with the hot oil or hot water. She killed

like, 2 .5 million people.

The most murderous woman in history.

Anyone, like, not following her, she just cut the head and killed it.

Quite for long.

You didn't bring me up here for any other reason. You're not going to throw

off, eh?

Of course not.

That's her, but not me.

You see how beautiful the place is.

36 years after Rana Valluna's death, the French finally established a colony

here and ruled until an independent republic was established in the late

A legacy that can still be felt today throughout the country.

My first thoughts of Hanna are that it's sort of got that kind of Catholic kind

of energy that you sort of both expect and slightly enjoy, I guess. It's like

every crossing of the road is a brush with death.

You're much closer to other people than you feel comfortable with.

Stuff like that. I like it. It's good.

The taxi, to be in such a tiny car with an open can of petrol in it, it's

incredible. I can't believe we got signed off for us to do. What you do is,

get the can, there's a hole in the top, you pop it in like a straw and the car

drinks from it like it's a milkshake.

I don't understand how it's safe.

But you know what? It was an experience and I am high as a kite.

Big plan was for us to travel through the island's western region, venturing

towards the coast to catch up with the Vezu fisherman tribe.

As I would find out, Madagascar is vast and largely impenetrable. I was told the

journey would take a gruelling two days by car on notoriously bad roads, just to

travel roughly the distance from London to Manchester.

So we, um, yeah.

Okay, so we're going to singing.

Where are you going to see the spiky stone? Where are you going to see all of

the lemurs and stuff? So it's more on the west side. So around like where I am

from, by the sea.

You prefer it there?

Oh, yeah, because there is my environment.

There is, you know, my home, actually.

Do you feel the most comfortable in the water?

My tribe are visual.

We live and depending on the sea for entire our life.

I've been living in Italy, in Bologna. Bologna is like in the central, no sea

and stuff.

I don't feel that I belong in there. Not at all. No.

So I decided to go back home. I felt that my ancestors are calling me,

you know, because we are from the sea. Yeah. I belong to the sea.

There I am.

It's amazing.

Sort of how I feel about County Mall in Crawley.

Look at that, man.

Look at this.

This is the singing.

That's the singing?

Yeah, look by your window.

Look at that.

Oh, wow.

It's amazing, isn't it?

I can tell you're excited, aren't you?

Oh, man, I love it.

I'm going back home, baby.

I'm going home.

This is a proper dirt landing strip.

Yeah.

Now I feel like we're on an adventure.

It is an adventure.

Welcome to Stingy, brother.

Thanks, class.

Oh, man.

Woohoo! Thank you so much. So stunning!

Bix said that the west of the country is arguably Madagascar's wildest... and

most fascinating region.

Despite its proximity to the mainland, humans only settled here around 2 ,000

years ago.

Madagascar grew in isolation, an African Galapagos, where 95 % of the species

are endemic.

We'd be spending the afternoon climbing through one of its most spectacular

landscapes, the Grand Thingy, an area of bizarre needle -like rocks formed

millions of years ago.

So they hike well past from here.

How difficult is it?

But like, I don't know, 45 -year -old Asian man with poor coordination, only

functioning eye.

Not really difficult, but we need our attention.

Okay.

All right, buddy?

Me? Yeah. I'm all good.

Good.

It's a lot of up and down, isn't there?

I already absolutely smashed my step camera when we started.

Beautiful bird.

Do you want to know what thingies mean?

So basically thing is mean like you were walking on your tiptoe. Yeah, I think

walking on tiptoes is fucking impossible to me.

Yeah,

we have to clip on. Clip on?

Yeah. Yes, baby. I was looking forward to the clip on bit.

Yeah, man.

Watch out your head.

Be careful, be careful, be careful.

I'm sleeping here now. Oh, thanks. You're so big. You're so lovely, man.

Thanks, bro.

Don't feel dizzy.

Better be a hell of a fucking view.

How's it going?

Every time you think you've done the worst of it, there's another more shit

scary thing.

The great thing is, they're both naturals.

So, I suspect this is going to end with them carrying my body back down.

I appreciate that some viewers will be interested in how the thingy was formed,

while others couldn't give a shit.

For the latter group, I invite you now to mute this section.

and enjoy the wondrous sight of an overweight man slowly wiping himself

rock face.

For the curious of you still with us, the thingy was formed some 200 million

years ago when layers of calcite accumulated at the bottom of a Jurassic

forming a thick limestone bed.

Later tectonic movement pushed the limestone up, while the sea level fell,

leaving the rocks exposed to the elements, while groundwater carved large

below the surface.

Eventually... Underground cave feelings gave way, forming these razor -sharp

rock towers.

I've realised I've got no real way of inviting the people back who muted that

section, but they're all ignorant pricks, so, you know, who cares?

Oh, shit!

Sorry.

OK,

you're good.

Oh, Vic, you did me before you, man.

We saw you were safe.

Don't look down, look up.

Don't look down, look up. Let the strength save you.

I feel like Indiana Jones.

Indian Jones.

Okay, just hold it there.

Great, let's get you back over the other side.

I'm going to follow that on a box mark and go, fuck yourself, mate.

We scrambled down the thingy as quickly as we could, needing to get back to our

hotel before darkness.

And I'm genuinely not exaggerating here, in order to avoid the bandits on the

road home, who might attack the vehicle.

But despite the unseen dangers, I was starting to love the country.

Um, Bic is a different person in the countryside than he is in the city, OK?

When we were on the plane going over the singies, he started going, yeah, baby,

welcome, singy time.

Like, his energy has changed. He whipped up those rocks.

He's a different dude.

He's very, very enthusiastic about everything, seemingly irrelevant of

it deserves it or not. And on paper, I should hate him, but I've got to be

honest with you, I find it quite endearing.

We are the perfect odd couple, actually.

I think we'd do well in a little sitcom about us having to live together and

just deal with each other's foibles.

I'm trying to think of the backstory.

Bic arrives from Madagascar.

He's looking for somewhere to stay.

I take pity on him, I take him in.

I've got a wife and kids.

Bic's living in the spare room.

I find him really annoying, but my wife and children find him absolutely

adorable. He's like a second parent, a third parent to my kids.

And we get into all sorts of scrapes, and hilarity ensues.

Bic and Rom on BBC One.

The next day, we prepared to travel the short hop down to Belo Serebehina.

The 41 -mile journey along the RN8 National Road would take a mere seven

Along roads apparently so treacherous that we require a specialist driver, KD.

Driving onto this ferry would make me shit my clothes.

It's a very, very basic one.

This one is a piece of cake compared to the second ferry. Compared to the second

one, really?

Oh man.

Great work, man.

Great work.

Really proud of you. Good job.

I've never done anything like this, man.

I mean, I've been on a ferry before, but I've never been on a ferry like that

before.

Oh, whoa.

You can drive through this? Yeah.

The National Road.

Wow.

This is incredible.

Amazing, isn't it?

I cannot believe it.

We're driving through a lake.

Yeah.

I can't believe this drive. I cannot believe it.

Vic told me that outside the capital, the country is incredibly sparse and

extremely poor.

80 % of people here live below the poverty line, a basic existence that has

scarcely changed in thousands of years.

Not helped, of course, by these roads.

Can you explain to me what the road situation is? What's the deal?

The road, they should be maintained by the government, but they are not.

And they are taking one ariari per litre for the road tax, yeah.

Madagascar's corruption problem is well documented and doesn't just extend to

the road.

The battle to control the supply of its famous vanilla, the country's biggest

export, had led to a vanilla war and mass deforestation. Just one example of

what should have been a boon to the country resulting in yet more chaos.

So where is the money going then?

If I knew it, I would already take it.

We don't know where that money is going. Is that a problem all over the country?

Everywhere. Right.

This is a national road actually.

This is a national road.

You have to really want to visit somebody to go on this road.

Yeah.

Our journey finally bottomed out at the town of Belothirabahina, which had the

feel of a gold rush town, without any gold and without anyone in a particular

rush.

Travelling on these roads? Yeah.

I feel like I've got like a core workout.

My spine is basically approaching sort of powder state.

Well, hopefully we can have like a good treat on this restaurant.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

Welcome to Majiboo.

Wow. Yeah.

Very nice, isn't it?

Ooh.

Thank you.

Thank you very much. It's lovely.

It's good.

How's the zebu?

It's more than your mouth, man.

Are you enjoying it? I love it.

I did not expect to be eating a meal like this.

It's a little tucked away.

You wouldn't expect to find a restaurant serving this type of food here, would

you? I know what you mean, yeah.

This is a unique restaurant.

I can't even imagine how this has happened, but I'm glad it did.

According to Bic, and I've got no reason to disbelieve him, Mad Zebu was created

to service those tourists who managed to brave the roads long enough to get

here. A fine dining experience in the middle of nowhere.

Madagascar still has only just over 300 ,000 visitors a year, around a third of

the tourists that say Uganda receives.

The majority of those going to plush international resorts in the north.

I was faintly furious that this option had been withheld from me until now, but

the food was amazing, so I let it go.

Thank you very much. Really good.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Should we have kept the fork and knife?

How

come

you decided to put such a...

a fancy restaurant in this location i

mean

it's amazing to find this restaurant here it's like a little hidden

treasure do you find like people travel from all around to come and eat here

Thank you so much for having us.

How's the flavour? Very nice, yeah.

So the taste of the coconut is heavy or is it... Not heavy, very light.

It dances on the palate.

Nice one.

Are restaurants a big thing here?

No, it's a new thing.

It's not our culture.

So rather just the family cook it and then we enjoy it together.

Okay, that's nice.

Did you ask for the napkin flower?

No.

I know, it's a bit romantic.

It's very romantic.

I feel like...

Either you're going to split up with me or you're going to propose.

I love you so much, Rom.

Oh, I love you too, mate.

We left Mads Ivo and

boarded a ferry.

By this point, we'd been on the road so long I'd given up caring about things

like itineraries, scheduled stop -offs at must -see sites and basic comforts.

How long on the road this morning?

We're on the road for like four hours. We're on the road actually for nearly

six. Oh, okay. We're on the road for six hours.

Okay, listen.

You ask the question. If you know the answer, why are you fucking asking me?

We're on the road for about...

I feel a little bit battered, to be honest with you. But in terms of

this feels like an adventure.

It's a proper adventure.

For example, you may be wondering why this ferry is moving the speed that it

It's because there's a snake in one of the engines. It sounds like a terrible

sequence of a Samuel L. Jackson film.

A snake in one engine of the ferry.

It's a much lower budget.

But I think it's got legs.

It hasn't, actually. It's a snake.

So, yeah, we're running on a single engine because the snake's in the

I'm tired of this snake in this goddamn single engine at this ferry.

I guess the word about the snake in the engine is carried across to the banks.

He wants to dance off.

I think he liked it.

We carried on down what we were still optimistically calling the road.

The idea from here was to see some more of the country's unique endemic

wildlife, taking in the iconic baobab trees, before spending some time with

Bic's own tribe of seafaring Malagasy, the Vezu.

Next up, though, it was at last time for an audience with the island's famous

lemurs. Welcome.

Rom. Nova.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.

Before we go, I go to see the lemurs. Just five minutes, you stay here.

What are you going to do?

I can tell you, it is a secret for me. A secret?

Yeah.

What do you think he's doing?

I don't know. No idea.

We were met by a man called Nobo, who is the lemur whisperer.

And he said, wait here, I'm going to go get them together.

And then just ran around the woods a lot.

And after about five minutes, he said, OK, they're here.

Oh, my God.

Like, he said that he couldn't tell us his secret technique, but I think his

secret technique was to go in there and go, could all the lemurs gather round

over there, please?

Oh, man.

It honestly felt like we were in some sort of Lima court case.

This is amazing.

It is!

I did not anticipate being this close to them.

Oh, man.

I love the way they move.

I thought it was going to be more of a challenge than that.

They were, like, super tame.

It wouldn't surprise me if, like, they were trained or something. They were

so...

Calm around us.

How come their tails are so long?

The tail is the balance for jumping. Yeah, feels like an obvious question in

hindsight.

Do they have any predators?

Yeah, fusa.

Fusa? Yeah.

Do you have any fusas around here?

The fusas are around in the forest. Really? Yeah.

Do people ever come and take them or anything like that?

To eat.

To eat? Yeah.

People eat them. Do you?

But that's illegal, right?

Yeah.

Are they protected?

Yeah. They're protected, but people still eat them? Yeah.

The thing is, when he said, some people eat them, in my head, I just straight

away imagined somebody removing a cloche and it's just lying there with one of

those berries in its mouth.

That's all I could think about.

Have you watched the film Madagascar?

No. In...

the film madagascar the lemurs are a big part of that film and then they all

dance to this song and everybody well everybody over the world has gone crazy

for that it's a big film not no he never heard it i was amazed that somebody

from madagascar who looks after lemurs hasn't seen the film madagascar that

heavily features lemurs have you seen the film madagascar no do you know that

lemurs feature heavily no he's got no idea imagine that just want to get a

through this lemur

It looks like I've just photoshopped my head in the corner of a lemur.

I love lemurs.

I'm not ashamed to say that.

I'm like Dr. Dolittle.

I just think there's something about them, the way they move. They're

I mean, they're up there with my favourite animals, I think.

They're so cute.

King Julian.

Walk over there and back here like a lemur does.

Oh yeah, I'm literally a dancing monkey, am I?

We reluctantly bade farewell to the lovely lemurs and headed off into the

seemingly endless Madagascan abyss.

Bit tell me that locals in these rural areas are incredibly superstitious.

A belief system built on a strict observance of taboos, known locally as

You know you're telling me about these taboos.

Do you have a lot of them in Malagasy culture?

It's everywhere in Madagascar.

Really? Is it called taboo?

Yeah, Fadi.

That's what you call it. Yeah, Fadi.

Where does it originate from?

Our ancestors, since the beginning.

Yeah. Yeah.

So what are the examples of Fadi then?

Like some sacred...

Place. Yeah.

You cannot point a finger. You have to do this. Or you put your finger like

this. That way.

Go ahead.

That way you can do.

We also have like bad party.

Like on the southeast, for example.

Yeah. There's a tribe.

It's funny to have twins.

It's funny to have twins.

Yeah.

So if you get twins.

You have to bring the babies in front of the ranch where you keep the Cebu. You

open the door, you let out the Cebu.

Then the Cebu will step on the one who should not leave.

If both die, it means that both should not leave.

That's what they do there.

What? Yeah.

Does that still happen today?

Yeah, it's still happening, but now there's an NGO who is trying to fight

against that.

So they are like trying to get the second children that the parents do not

Yeah.

Although there are attempts to eradicate some aspects of Sadi, others remain

strong.

Bic explained that according to local police, the souls of the dead are housed

within sacred baobab trees.

Traditionally, holy people are able to speak with these ancestors, and Bic

offered to take me to a ceremony.

where the village shaman would attempt to make contact.

What's the bag for?

What exactly is going to happen now?

What is happening now is that they are going to ask for attendance for the

spirit. He will become something else.

Like someone else speak.

So is he going to take the spirit in him now?

In his body.

So we don't know what spirit is going to arrive?

We don't know. We have to wait who is coming. But they will tell who is here.

What is the knife for?

This knife is protecting him.

Because sometimes some other ancestors are evil to come.

Oh, I see. So in case a bad ancestor comes.

I said to Bic, what's the knife for? And he said it's just to protect him from

an evil spirit.

But as far as I can tell, the spirit is inside you. So what do you do?

I think I'm going to dance. Maybe they will come.

You're going to dance? I'm going to dance.

Bic, for some reason, decided that the spirit might come out more easily if he

got up and started dancing.

I don't know why he thought it was going to work.

It sort of worked a little bit by the tree.

What I didn't expect to see or hear was the

sound of a Bluetooth speaker connecting.

So they're going to play some music? They're going to play some music.

Are they trying to find the right song now?

It turns out the clapping didn't work, and so we had to find... Well, they went

through a load of different Malagasy tunes to try and see what song would

out the spirit.

How do they know which one to choose?

It's quite a difficult job, that, because you don't know which spirit's

And even if you did know which spirit was coming, you don't know what music

like. So they were kind of skipping through trying to find the type of music

that the spirit might enjoy.

Meanwhile, the shaman who was going to be chanting the spirit just sort of

sparked up a cigarette.

It sounded like the Bluetooth disconnected.

Disconnected too.

What can you do? Sometimes spirits turn up, sometimes they don't. Thank you so

much. I think the fact that a spirit didn't enter that shaman gives it more

credibility. Because to my mind, think about any kind of medium in the UK. If

you tell them the BBC are coming to do a documentary, bells and whistles.

Do you know what I mean?

Really,

if this was fake...

He'd be suddenly making all these noises, dancing, and we'd be like, oh,

this is like the maddest spirit we've ever seen in our lives. We've never had

spirit like this one. Get your camera on this. And then we'd leave just feeling

like we really got a show.

But, turns out, the spirit didn't feel like it.

Just wasn't going to happen today.

Thank you.

It's not his fault.

He was sat there. Everyone was gathered round.

He had a crowd.

The spirit didn't turn up. Everyone fired out. He's on his own. That's show

business.

The ancestors were not coming, so instead we headed off to a nearby beauty

Madagascar's most iconic vista.

Oh wow, it's beautiful, eh?

Is this created or did this just happen? It's happened.

It's already... This just happened like this?

No one planted those. They were already there.

Oh, really? Yeah.

The Avenue of the Bay of Buds is a group of endemic trees, many of which are

well over 2 ,500 years old.

Although they now tower over the surrounding scrub, the trees would have

stood amid a thick forest.

Gradually, as humans cleared the area for agriculture, the trees became

isolated, the last remnants of an ancient, eradicated landscape.

So how old do you reckon these are? This is definitely like a thousand years.

This one?

Yes. How do you know?

Because they grow like very slow.

What is this one here?

That's a tiny one. That's a baby.

All right, let me have a guess. I reckon that one, two years.

No.

What? This is not two years. I would say 50.

50 years?

Yeah. This one?

I'm not sure. This one here. It takes 50 years. That's older than me.

Okay, let me guess. This one, 150 years.

This one is like getting a much... That's what I think.

No, I'm agreeing with you. I know.

Yeah, so how old do you think?

150?

Yeah, I'll say that.

Yeah.

They grow so slow.

This is going to be my new show, Bayababager.

When you look like this, it looks incredible.

I just can't get used to how mad these trees look.

Now they're looking dead, but they are not. They are alive.

You love these trees, don't you?

I love them.

It's good, man.

Are you 100?

Yeah.

You got it, bro.

You got it.

Although the Madagascar beliefs remain rooted in the past, BIC told me that its

people are facing unprecedented challenges.

In 2021, the southern agricultural region of Madagascar was devastated by

worst drought in 40 years.

Crops failed and more than a million people were forced into food hardship.

The effects of what has been called the world's first climate -induced famine

are still being felt today.

We pulled over in what would have been until recently a thriving, dense forest.

Now a scorched, barren patch of scrubland.

How bad was the famine? Were there people that lost their lives as a

Yeah, it's quite bad when it happened.

So was the country in basically a state of emergency at that stage?

Yes. More than half of the people immigrated.

From where?

From south to go to the north.

Right. Because on the north side, it's more green.

Do they believe that what they're experiencing is a result of climate

a result of what's happened to the environment?

Yeah, the people believe in that because it's really obvious there's not much

rain. Yeah.

Yeah, and in the olden days, like when I was a kid, we still have lots of rain,

right? And then during the rain season, like where I am from, we can plant

during the rain season. And the dry season, we can go for fishing.

So that means all year round we can eat or we can have food.

Everybody moves to these different areas during the famine.

Yeah. What happens to those areas?

The Chinese buy, you know, the peanuts.

Yeah. Really valuable things to grow in the peanuts. You have to clear the area.

The Baobab is a very old tree.

The bulb has been sacrificed. You have to cut it to clear those forests.

And then the people can plant.

It's only a couple of years, one to two to three years, you can grow on that

land you've been clearing.

So that means we have to clear more to plant more.

So it's not a situation where you just clear some land and then that's where

grow peanuts forever?

No.

Not forever.

Did people begin to move back south or did they stay where they are?

They don't come back. They don't come back? There's no point to go back and

stuff. If they come back and what they do, there's no rain.

So it's been a permanent change?

It's not returned to normal?

It's getting worse, actually.

As a proud Malagasy, what do you feel about the future of the country?

I mean, how worried are you?

Really worried.

Those things I've seen now, maybe my grandchildren won't see it no more.

We're talking about, you know, the Baobab has been a captain. And, you

day my grandchildren may be seen only one or two species remain.

Or the lemur is gone.

Because we have the pressure for the nature.

We're relying on the nature to survive, to live.

My epic odyssey across Africa was almost at an end. I'd been on the road for

three weeks.

Three weeks living alongside a film crew had begun to feel like family. Although

the sort of family who are really annoying and you just want to get away

Exactly like my real family.

We arrived at the remote fishing village of Belosur Mare to spend some time on

the ocean.

Beaches really are Madagascar's drawcard. There are 3 ,000 miles of

perfect beaches here.

And Bik wanted to take me to see how his own people live off them.

Nice to be back in the sea.

It gives me, like, energy.

This is some of the reef fish that you get here.

Sardines.

All of the people here are migrating from my place down south.

So basically, they just make a house like this.

So all of these people have moved here, have they? Yeah.

Because... It's easy to fish here?

Yes.

So straight away, do you feel like mentally you're calmer when you're by

water, yeah?

That's how I am. If there's something that stresses me, as soon as my head is

under water, I'm so calm. And when I come up, I forget those things. I seem

fresh again here, is that?

Really? Yeah. When my wife is stressed, she likes to dunk my head under water.

It calms her down.

Where I am from, it's a village called Lambuara. And then we have this special

bay called Bay of the Assassins. And when I was born, my parents took the

belly button.

The cord? Yes, take that.

And then we put inside the belly button here. And then we have to take where we

are from.

And then my belly button is thrown there.

My brother's belly button is throwing there. My mom's belly button is throwing

there. Where are my aclanis?

So they're just loads and loads of belly buttons out in the water in the sea?

Yes. This is how we learn to sail a pirogue. Oh, with the little toy ones,

Yeah, we make it.

They don't know how to make a PlayStation.

Oh, man.

Vic wanted to take me out on the sea in a pirogue for the afternoon to show me

how the Veslu tribe have sailed here for hundreds of years.

migrating up and down the coast, often living on the water for months at a

Little bit this side. Okay.

Following this?

It's incredibly complicated.

Yeah, I'm following, I'm following. It's very complicated.

My biggest fear currently is if he says, no, you set up that pirogue over there.

Woo -hoo!

How are you?

Woo -hoo!

You love this pic, don't you? Oh, yeah.

I love it.

How

do

you feel?

It's great.

Love it.

So these perogues. Yes.

Is it just generation after generation passed down how to make these, right?

Yeah. This is a culture.

Yeah, because it looks so like, obviously it's homemade.

Yeah. Then the idea that you're going to do a homemade boat seems so crazy, but

it's like, it works beautifully.

I know.

So far, I mean, we haven't got back to shore yet.

You want to go a little bit faster?

Yeah, go for it. All right.

How's that?

That's so good, man.

Do you know what's fun, Vic? It's seeing how much you love it, man.

Thank you, man.

How about yourself?

Oh, it's good. It's so good.

So what age were you when you started being in boats like this?

I grew up with my grandfather every holiday.

Well,

you hold each other's head?

Yeah. So how long do you think you can hold your breath underwater for?

Two to three minutes?

Yeah. There you go.

I can do that.

Well, I've got to then prove it.

So, what's going on so far then?

Well, Bic's kind of in his element when it comes to this kind of thing. And he's

been showing me how to sail the Faroe. At one point he said to me, do you want

to help?

And I said, yeah. And I thought, okay, cool. He's trusting me. So, can you move

up the other end? Because there's too much weight down this side.

So, basically, what I've done is I've been ballast.

One minute?

That was one minute?

Yep.

So, like...

Yeah, it's been fun.

It's been like a good time.

At what point do we go down and like check that he's okay?

I think he's been such a great guide and like showing me around the country and

everything. Oh, he's up.

Yes.

That is big, isn't it? Yes.

How long was that?

One minute.

58. One minute 58.

Two minutes. We'll round it up. Congratulations, brother.

Great stuff.

You want to try?

No. I want to see how you do it.

All right. I'm just going to do one minute 59 and come back up.

We've got to get back to shore.

How long have you been down there?

Me? How long have you been down? Oh, fuck it up.

I panicked and I hit my head on the bottom of the boat!

Are you okay?

I'm fine, I'm fine.

That was horrible.

I started shitting myself as soon as I went under the water. That is horrific.

And then I thought, I'm never going to get back up again.

And then I hit my head just under there.

How long did I do?

Ten seconds.

Good, then.

Good, then.

Although many of the people that were staying in Bello Sommel were nomadic

there is a permanent community here.

Families of boat builders who still construct schooner ships in the way the

French taught their ancestors 200 years before.

As luck would have it, They were launching a vessel that afternoon and

Bic and me along to help. I'd say as luck would have it, we'd actually beg

to hold off until the afternoon so we could film it for our finale.

But everything else is real.

What is this? We're going thinner?

This is like launching the boat in the water. So it's a big ceremony for the

vessel. So every time they build a boat, there's a party?

Yes.

They're going to launch the boat. I mean, we have to help too.

We have to?

We have been invited.

Okay. So what do we do? Do we push?

We push or pull.

And then it's long rope over there. Okay. Whatever you prefer. No, you tell

I think we prefer to be on the front. Okay. So we can pull it and it's more

space. Okay. Let's go a little bit further so not close to the boat.

Because it's your first time.

Oh, yeah. Because some people fell down and they get an injury from it. Are you

serious? Yeah, I'm really serious.

Right here. Okay, this is go. Oh my god.

Stop, stop.

Stop, stop.

Now we stop.

So Rob, what's going on? Well, we pulled it and we pulled it the wrong way. We

got straight in it.

I say we, I'm doing very little.

Now we go back this way.

It's gone out of control.

It's out of control.

We're done, we're done, we're done.

I'm officially announcing my retirement from the boat pulling industry.

What happened then? Because one second you're like just pulling, it's like

really hard. Everybody goes pull and then it just starts moving so quick.

I'm just going to get crushed between these two boats. So that was fun, I

survived. I really hope they get it launched.

But I'm declaring my involvement over. So all good.

The entire week, Bic has been absolutely incredible.

He is such a staunch advocate of Madagascar as a place and of the people.

Today, to be honest with you, I've really seen what Bic is about. You know,

tribe are all about the water.

But he is properly of the sea. I mean, it genuinely feels like you're knocking

about with Aquaman.

It honestly does.

Coming to Madagascar has been a proper misadventure in every sense of the word.

It's a country that I didn't know anything about, I had no preconceptions

apart from the animated films, two of which weren't set in Madagascar at all.

But it has been a proper adventure.

I mean, you really do feel like you are in a country that is just its own kind

of ecosystem in every single way. It's got natural wildlife that only exists on

this island. It's got cultural...

that only exist on this island. It's an amazing place.

If you're looking for something that really feels like you are going on an

adventure, Madagascar has got it.

When we finished the Rwanda trip, I said that that was kind of like entry -level

Africa. If you were nervous about or unsure about going to a place like that,

Rwanda was the place to go.

Madagascar is the place to come when you've really got a taste for it.

The more kind of hardened traveller, I think.

It's like Rwanda's the gateway.

Madagascar's like when you say, I fancy something a bit stronger.

The roads are difficult. You'll see a lot of poverty. People are struggling

here.

You'll be asked for money a lot.

But I think it's as remarkable as Rwanda and Uganda for completely different

reasons. It's an incredible place.

We've been on the road doing three countries in succession.

And to be honest with you, it felt like a once -in -a -lifetime trip.

I feel like being out here for the amount of time that we have done has

feel properly immersive.

Every single day has been an amazing experience.

I've seen elephants, seen lions, gone whitewater rafting, hung out with

gorillas, saw some incredible waterfalls, been on rock formations

that don't exist anywhere else in the world.

I mean, it has genuinely been.

day after day, a series of unbelievable experiences, and I feel very lucky to

have taken part in it.

You know, some people get the travel bug when they go travelling in a gap year.

Some people go to a country they weren't expecting to go to just for a roll of

the dice, and they get the travel bug that way. I got the travel bug by doing

series of travel shows on the BBC.

And, you know, we all have our roots, and this has been mine.

So where are you going next year?

Disney World.

Oh, I've got kids, haven't I?

You can watch all of his misadventures on BBC iPlayer.

While telling the story of America's so -called miracle painkiller, Michael

Keaton stars in Dope Sick, press red for iPlayer.

Next year, I know what you're thinking. What's going to happen in the final

episode of Inside Number Nine? Well, I would tell you, but I've signed this.

Bye now.