Original subtitles

I've been travelling through East Africa, visiting countries

with a bad reputation, to see if we should give them another go.

So far, I've seen the delights of Uganda...

..and Rwanda. Oh, my God.

Now, after an exploding volcano and a civil war wrecked my original

plans, I've moved on to Madagascar.

Would I find an island full of talking lions and dancing lemurs?

Find out on this thrilling episode of

The Misadventures Of Romesh Ranganathan.

In a language they couldn't even begin to understand,

I'd bid farewell to the gorillas of Rwanda, boarding

a plane to Madagascar -

a former French colony that constitutes the fourth-largest

island on Earth.

We are in Madagascar.

I'm very, very excited.

I've watched the film. I thought the first two were great.

I thought the third one was slightly lacking,

if I'm being honest with you.

A group of animals leave New York Zoo and they

end up in Madagascar.

And Madagascar literally symbolises the middle of nowhere.

I wasn't expecting this. Would have been a very different film

if you saw the group of them wandering through this town.

Madagascar one, two and three.

Um...

An island.

And Liberator sardines.

I'm just looking forward to finding out what this place is about.

My guide for the week would be Bic, a diving instructor from the south

of the island.

Bic.

- Hey, mate. - How you doing, brother? - Nice to meet you, finally.

How are you? - Nice to meet you, too.

I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. - Yeah. Welcome to Madagascar.

- I can't believe I'm here. I know nothing about Madagascar.

That's the reason I've come... - Yeah. OK.

- ..is to find out all about it.

- Our life here is, we say "mora, mora".

- Mora, mora. - Mora, mora.

It mean everything is like slowly, slowly.

OK? - OK. This is... Now you're talking my language.

OK. - Are you hungry? - Yeah. Always hungry.

- OK, shall we get a taxi?

Let's get this one. We go to Analakely?

OK. - Hello.

- Very cosy.

Our taxis are a bit, you know, small.

So, you near... If he's a tall person.

- So, Bic, is it common for a taxi driver to have to hot-wire

their own car?

- Not really. Depends on how old the car are.

- Ah. - That's right.

- MUSIC: Laisse Passer by Jerry Marcoss

Bic told me we would be spending time seeing the cultural and natural

delights the country has to offer.

Venturing up and down the west coast of the island, experiencing

Madagascar's unique vistas, flora and fauna.

But we would start with a lunchtime trip to the biggest market

on the island, located in the chaotic capital,

Antana-nana-nana-nana-nana-viro.

- Yeah, so we're going to get some fuel.

- They don't fill it straight into the car?

- Well, the taxi are filling on the jerrycan.

- So taxi drivers are driving around with a can full of fuel

at all times? - All the time.

So as soon as they have a client, they get the money, buy the fuel,

and then off they go.

See, now, it's like mostly full...

- We've got two full cans of fuel in the car.

- It's got to be spare one.

- BIC LAUGHS

And he's filling it here? - Yeah.

- So he just puts a straw in the can and then that's it. - That's it.

Yeah. - I can't believe it. - It's simple.

- I hope our driver's a nonsmoker.

BIC LAUGHS

Bic told me that the capital, known locally by the much more manageable

Tana, is home to over three million inhabitants - a unique

melting pot of French-colonial, Indian and African influences.

He took me along to the local market to sample

the delicious local cuisine.

- OK. This is the famous soup.

It's a really good soup. - OK. - But unfortunately, you are vegan,

- So, is this a delicacy, then?

- What do you mean? - As in, like, it's a speciality dish?

- Yes. This one is very special.

- This is amazing. Everybody just stops for a bowl.

- Yeah. - So what is this soup? What is that meat?

- Basically this soup, it's made of, like, you know,

the zebu's penis, you know, the dick.

And it's very famous.

And only here you can, uh...

..you can find that. - It's dick soup?

- Yeah, the dick of the zebu.

- What's a zebu? - Zebu is, uh, it's a cow.

Like a type of cow. - OK.

This is dick soup? - It is.

So they chop like...like that.

- That's a slice of penis? - It is.

- How big is... How big is a zebu's dick?

- It's about, like, 1.5m long.

You know, it's a big animal, you know, it's like 500kg of animal.

- So, that's slightly smaller than an average dude.

Yeah, I get it. - Yeah.

- What's the reason for eating dick?

- Well, basically, the zebu dicks just give you strength.

Yeah.

It's really good. - Is it only zebu dick in this soup?

- And they mix it up with some vegetable.

- This is dick and two veg. - Yes.

- And how does the dick taste?

- It tastes like a very...soft meat.

You know? - This is a weird question, but does it taste dicky?

Are you aware of the dick?

- I think I aware of the dick, yeah.

- So, how often do you have this?

- Um... - Cos I'm going to be honest with you. - Mm-hm.

- Part of me thinks that you've tried this just to try it, but it's not

a regular thing for you. Or do you have this all the time?

No. I didn't think so.

- Not for... - But nice? - Yeah.

- THEY LAUGH

I think... - It's really nice. - I think you're not...

You're not... You're not used to eating dick either, are you?

THEY LAUGH

- OK. Are we good?

- Very good!

He can't have any more! Don't make him have any more!

THEY LAUGH

With Bic suitably stuffed, we eased back into the taxi for a drive

up to the Rova,

the old palace once home to the island's notorious mad queen.

Look at this view. - Yeah.

It's really high up.

That's the lake.

So, this is the wall for the, uh, for the mad queen palace.

- Queen Ranavalona I ruled the kingdom of Madagascar

from this palace from 1828 to 1861, a time during which she earned

a reputation for unsurpassed cruelty.

Having succeeded her husband Radama, she marked her coronation by bathing

in a vat of bull's blood,

and quickly set about trying to eliminate

all foreign influence on the island.

Her 33-year reign saw her slaughter Christians in their thousands,

and brutally repel European colonial advances, with enemies infamously

taken to this spot, high above the city, and thrown

from the cliff to their death.

- She's... She's very tough.

- So she was trying to get rid of all of the outside

influences, colonialism, etc. - Exactly.

- And if you didn't agree, then you go over the top here.

- Yeah. Over the top here.

Or burnt with the hot oil or hot water.

She killed over, like, 2.5 million people.

The most murderous woman in history.

Anyone, like, not following her,

she just cut the head and killed it.

- Quite full-on.

You didn't bring me up here for any other reason.

You're not going to throw me off? - Of course not.

- BIC LAUGHS

- That's her, but not... - Not you. - Not me. Yeah.

You see how beautiful... - It's amazing. - ..the place is?

- MUSIC: Malaso - Voleurs de Zebus by Erick Manana

36 years after Ranavalona's death, the French finally established

a colony here, and ruled until an independent republic

was established in the late '50s.

A legacy that can still be felt today throughout the country.

My first thoughts of Tana are that it's sort of got that kind of,

um, chaotic kind of energy that you sort of both expect

and slightly enjoy, I guess.

It's like every crossing of the road is a brush with death.

You're much closer to other people than you feel comfortable with.

Stuff like that. I like it. It's good.

The, um, the taxi...

To be in such a tiny car with an open can of petrol

in it, it's incredible.

I can't believe it got signed off

for us to do. What you do is you get the can,

there's a hole in the top. You pop it in like a straw, and the car,

like, drinks from it, like it's a milkshake.

I don't understand how... how it's safe.

But you know what? It was an experience.

And I am high as a kite.

Bic's plan was for us to travel through the island's western region,

venturing towards the coast to catch up with the Vezo fishermen tribe.

As I would find out, Madagascar is vast and largely impenetrable.

I was told the journey would take a gruelling two days by car

on notoriously bad roads, just to travel roughly the distance

from London to Manchester.

So we, um...

Yeah.

- OK. So, we're going to Tsingy, where you are going to see

spiky stone, where you are going to see all of the lemurs and stuff.

So it's more on the west side.

So around like where I, uh, from.

By the sea. - You prefer it there?

- Oh, yeah. Because there is my environmental.

There is, you know, my home, actually.

- So you... Do you feel at most comfortable in the water?

- My tribe are Vezo.

We live depending on the sea for the entire of our lives.

I've been living in Italy, in Bologna.

Bologna is like in central. No sea and stuff.

I don't feel it that I belong there.

No, not at all. - Really? - No.

So I decided to go back home.

I felt that my ancestors are calling me, you know, which is,

we are from the sea. - Yeah.

- I belong to the sea.

There I am.

- It's amazing.

Sort of how I feel about County Mall in Crawley. - Yeah.

Look at that, man.

Look at this! This is the Tsingy.

- That's the Tsingy? - Yeah. Look. Look by your window.

Look at there. - Oh, wow.

- It's amazing, isn't it?

- I can tell you're excited, aren't you?

- Oh, man, I love it!

I'm going back home, baby!

Woohoo!

I'm going home.

- This is a proper dirt-landing strip.

- Yeah.

- Now I feel like we're on an adventure.

- It is such adventure.

- LOUD BANG

Oh!

- Welcome.

Welcome to Tsingy, brother. - Thanks, man.

Oh, man.

- Woohoo!

Thank you so much. So sunny!

- Bic said that the west of the country is arguably

Madagascar's wildest and most fascinating region.

Despite its proximity to the mainland,

humans only settled here around 2,000 years ago.

Madagascar grew in isolation, an African Galapagos where 95%

of the species are endemic.

We'd be spending the afternoon climbing through one of its most

spectacular landscapes - the Grand Tsingy -

an area of bizarre, needle-like rocks formed millions

of years ago.

- So the hike will start from here.

- How difficult is it for, like, uh, I don't know, 45-year-old Asian man

with poor coordination, only one functioning eye?

- It's not really difficult, but we need our attention.

- OK.

- All right, buddy? - Me? - Yeah.

- Good.

- There's a lot of up and down, isn't there?

Already absolutely smashed my step count.

We haven't even started yet. - Yeah.

- Do you want to know what, uh, Tsingy mean?

So, basically, Tsingy mean like you were walking

on your tiptoe. - Yeah. I think walking on tiptoes at the minute

is fucking impossible, to be honest.

LAUGHTER

- Yeah, we have to clip on. - Clip on?

- Yes. - Yes, baby.

I was looking forward to the clip-on bit.

- Yeah, man. - Watch your heads.

Be careful, be careful, be careful.

- We clip here now. - Oh, thank you. Bic, you're so lovely, man.

Thanks, bro.

- Don't feel dizzy.

- This better be a hell of a fucking view. - Yeah.

- Every time you think you've done the worst of it, there's another,

more shit-scary thing.

The great thing is, they're both naturals.

So I suspect this is going to end with them

carrying my body back down.

I appreciate that some viewers will be interested in how the Tsingy

were formed, while others couldn't give a shit.

For the latter group,

I invite you now to mute this section and enjoy the wondrous

sight of an overweight man slowly wiping himself across a rock face.

For the curious of you still with us, the Tsingy were formed some

200 million years ago, when layers of calcite accumulated at the bottom

of a Jurassic lagoon, forming a thick limestone bed.

Later tectonic movement pushed the limestone up, while the sea level

fell, leaving the rocks exposed to the elements, while groundwater

carved large caves below the surface.

Eventually, underground cave ceilings gave way, forming

these razor-sharp rock towers.

I've realised I've got no real way of inviting the people back

who muted that section, but they're all ignorant pricks,

so, you know, who cares?

Oh, shit! Sorry.

- OK? - Yeah. - OK, you're good.

- Oh, Bic, you did me before you, man.

LAUGHTER

- Make sure you are safe.

Don't look down. - Shit!

- Don't look down, look up.

That's what Shrek said.

- I feel like Indiana Jones.

Indian Jones.

- OK, just hold it there.

Great. Let's, er, get you back over the other side.

- Erm, I'm going to file that in a box marked "go fuck yourself", mate.

LAUGHTER

We scrambled down the Tsingy as quickly as we could,

needing to get back to our hotel before darkness.

And I'm genuinely not exaggerating here -

in order to avoid the bandits on the road home

who might attack the vehicles.

But, despite the unseen dangers, I was starting to love the country.

Erm, Bic is a different person in the countryside

than he is in the city.

OK? When we were on the plane going over the Tsingys,

he started going, "Yeah, baby! Welcome! Tsingy time!"

Like his energy has changed.

He whipped up those rocks.

He's a different dude.

He's very, very enthusiastic about everything,

seemingly irrelevant of whether it deserves it or not.

And, on paper, I should hate him

but, I've got to be honest with you, I find it quite endearing.

We are the perfect odd couple, actually.

I think we'd do well in a little sitcom about us having to live

together and just deal with each other's foibles.

I'm trying to think of the backstory.

Bic arrives from Madagascar.

He's looking for somewhere to stay.

I take pity on him, I take him in.

I've got a wife and kids. Bic's living in the spare room,

I find him really annoying.

But my wife and children find him absolutely adorable.

He's like a second parent, the third parent to my kids.

And then we get into all sorts of scrapes, and hilarity ensues.

Bic & Rom, on BBC One.

The next day, we prepare to travel the short hop

down to Belo Tsiribihina.

The 41-mile journey along the RN8 national road would take

a mere seven hours, along roads apparently so treacherous

that we require a specialist driver.

Cady.

Driving onto this ferry would make me shit myself.

- It's a very, very basic one.

- CADY LAUGHS

- This one is a piece of cake.

- Is it? - Compared to the second ferry.

- Compared to the second one? Really?

Oh, man.

Great work, man.

Great work.

Really proud of you. - Good job.

- I've never done anything like this, man.

I mean, I've been on a ferry before,

but I've never been on a ferry like that before. - Mm.

- Oh, whoa!

Are you just going to drive through this? - Yeah. It's the national road.

- Wow!

This is incredible.

BIC CHUCKLES

- Amazing, isn't it?

- I cannot believe it.

We're driving through a lake. - Yeah.

- I can't believe this drive. I cannot believe it.

CADY CHUCKLES

Bic told me that, outside the capital,

the country is incredibly sparse and extremely poor.

80% of people here live below the poverty line -

a basic existence that has scarcely changed in thousands of years -

not helped, of course, by these roads.

Can you explain to me what the road situation is?

What's the deal?

- The roads, they should be maintained by the government, but they're not.

And they are taking one ariary per litre for the... - Road tax?

- For the road tax, yeah. To fix it, but...

Nothing. But seems like 100% of the money just disappear.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Madagascar's corruption problem is well documented,

and doesn't just extend to the roads.

The battle to control the supply of its famous vanilla -

the country's biggest export -

had led to a vanilla war and mass deforestation.

Just one example of what should have been a boon to the country

resulting in yet more chaos.

So, where is the money going, then?

- If I knew it, I would already take it.

- THEY LAUGH

- We don't know where that money is going.

- Is that a problem all over the country, that?

- It's everywhere. - Right.

- This is a national road, actually. - This is a national road?

You'd have to really want to visit somebody to go on this road.

- Yeah.

- Our journey finally bottomed out at the town of Belo Tsiribihina,

which had the feel of a Gold Rush town,

without any gold and without anyone in a particular rush.

Travelling on these roads... - Yeah.

- ..I feel like I've got like a core workout or something.

My spine is basically approaching sort of powder state.

- Well, hopefully we can have, like, a good treat on this restaurant.

- Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. - Welcome to Mad Zebu.

- Wow. - Yeah.

- It's very nice, isn't it?

- Ooh!

Thank you.

- Yeah.

Merci.

This is lovely.

- Tuck in.

Mm, mm, mm, mm! - It's good.

How's the zebu? - It's melt-in-your-mouth, man.

- Are you not enjoying it? - I love it. - Mm.

I did not expect to be eating a meal like this.

Mm-hm? This little, tucked-away...

You just wouldn't expect to find a restaurant serving

this type of food here, would you? - I know what you mean. Yeah.

This is a unique restaurant.

- I can't even imagine how this has happened, but I'm glad it did.

According to Bic -

and I've got no reason to disbelieve him -

Mad Zebu was created to service those tourists who manage to brave

the roads long enough to get here -

a fine-dining experience in the middle of nowhere.

Madagascar still has only just over 300,000 visitors a year -

around a third of the tourists that, say, Uganda receives -

the majority of those going to plush international resorts in the north.

I was faintly furious that this option had been withheld from me

until now, but the food was amazing, so I let it go.

Thank you very much. - It's really good.

Thank you so much. - Thank you.

Should we have kept the fork and knife?

- Oh...

- How come you decided to put such a fancy restaurant in this location?

- Mm-hm. - I mean, it's amazing to find this restaurant here.

It's like a little hidden treasure.

Do you find people travel from all around to come and eat here?

Thank you so much for having us.

- How's the flavour?

- Very nice. Yeah.

- So the taste of a coconut is heavy, or is...

- Not heavy. Very light.

Dances on the palate.

- Nice one.

- Are restaurants a big thing here?

- No, it's a new thing for sure. It's not our culture.

So rather just the family, cook it, and then we enjoy it together.

- OK. That's nice.

Did you ask for the napkin flowers?

- No!

I know, it's a bit romantic.

- Very romantic.

I feel like either you're going to split up with me

or you're going to propose.

- I love you so much, Rom.

- Oh, I love you, too! - But...

- BIC CHUCKLES

We left Mad Zebu and boarded a ferry.

By this point, we'd been on the road so long

I'd given up caring about things like itineraries,

scheduled stop-offs at must-see sights, and basic comforts.

We were on the road for, like, four hours.

Oh, OK. We were on the road for six hours.

OK, I... Listen, you asked the question.

If you know the answer, why are you fucking asking me?

Er, we were on the road for about...

LAUGHTER

I feel a little bit battered, to be honest with you.

But, in terms of mentally, this feels like...

It feels like an adventure.

You know, it's a proper adventure. I mean, for example,

you may be wondering why this ferry is moving the speed that it is.

It's because there's a snake in one of the engines,

which sounds like a terrible sequel to a Samuel L Jackson film.

Snake In One Engine Of The Ferry.

It's much lower budget...

..but I think it's got legs.

It hasn't, actually. It's a snake.

So, erm, yeah, we're running on a single engine because there's snakes

in the engine.

"I'm tired of this snake

"in this goddamn single engine of this ferry!"

Guess the word about the snake in the engine

has carried across to the banks.

I think he wants a dance-off.

I think he likes it.

- # I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it

# Ya like to move it

# I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it

# Woman, ya cute, and you don't need no make-up

# Original cute body, you a mek man mud up

# Woman, ya cute, and you don't need no make-up

# Original cute body, you a mek man mud up

# Woman, physically fit, physically fit

# Physically, physically, physically

# Woman, physically fit, physically fit

# Physically, physically, physically... #

- We carried on down

what we were still optimistically calling the road.

The idea from here was to see some more of the country's unique

endemic wildlife, taking in the iconic baobab trees

before spending some time with Bic's own tribe

of seafaring Malagasy, the Vezo.

Next up, though, it was at last time for an audience

with the island's famous lemurs.

- Welcome. - Thank you.

Rom. - Novo.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too.

Before we go, I go to see the lemurs.

That's our five minutes.

You stay here. - What are you going to do?

- I can't tell you. It is a secret.

- It's secret? - Yeah.

- What do you think he's doing?

- I don't know. No idea. We see.

- We were met by a man called Novo who is the lemur whisperer.

And he said, "Wait here. I'm going to go get them together."

And then just ran around the woods a lot,

and then after about five minutes, he said...

- OK, they're here.

- ROMESH GASPS

Oh, my God.

Like, he said that he couldn't tell us his secret technique,

but I think his secret technique was to go in there and go,

"Can all the lemurs gather round over there, please?"

Oh, man!

It honestly felt like we were in some sort of lemur court case.

This is amazing! - It is!

- I did not anticipate being this close to them.

Oh, man!

I love the way they move.

I thought it was going to be more of a challenge than that.

They were, like, super tame.

It wouldn't surprise me if, like, they were trained or something.

They were so...calm around us.

How come their tails are so long?

- The tail is for balance for jumping.

- Yeah. It feels like an obvious question, in hindsight.

Do they have any predators?

- Yeah. Fossa.

- Fossa? - Yeah.

- Do you have any fossas around here?

- The fossas will be around here in the forest.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Do people ever come and take them or anything like that? - To eat.

- To eat?! - Yeah.

- People eat them?! - Yeah.

- But that's illegal, right? - Yeah.

- Are they protected? - Yeah.

- They're protected, but people still eat them? - Yeah.

- The thing is, when he said some people eat them, in my head,

I just straight away imagined somebody removing a cloche,

and it's just lying there with one of those berries in its mouth.

That's all I could think about.

Have you watched the film Madagascar?

- No. - In the film Madagascar, the lemurs are a big part of that film,

and then they all dance to this song, and everybody...

Well, everybody over the world has gone crazy for that.

It was a big film. - Not... No.

- He never heard it. He never seen it. - Wow.

I was amazed that somebody from Madagascar who looks after lemurs

hasn't seen the film Madagascar that heavily features lemurs.

"Have you seen the film Madagascar?" "No."

"Do you know that lemurs feature heavily?" "No."

He's got no idea. Imagine that!

Just trying to get a selfie with this lemur.

HE CLICKS HIS TONGUE

Yes!

Looks like I'm just photoshopped my head in the corner

of a photo of a lemur.

I love lemurs. I'm not ashamed to say that.

I'm like Dr Dolittle.

I just think there's something about them, the way they move.

They're adorable. I mean, they're up there with my favourite animals,

I think.

They're so cute.

King Julien.

I'm literally a dancing monkey, am I?

We reluctantly bade farewell to the lovely lemurs

and headed off into the seemingly endless Madagascan abyss.

MUSIC: Hizotra by ALALA

Bic told me that locals in these rural areas

are incredibly superstitious -

a belief system built on a strict observance of taboos

known locally as fady.

You know you were telling me about these taboos? - Mm-hm.

- Do you have a lot of them in Malagasy culture?

- It's everywhere in Madagascar.

- Really?

Is it called taboo? - Yeah. Fady.

- Fady? - That's what they call it - yeah, fady.

- Where does it originate from?

- Our ancestors since the beginning.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- So what are the examples of fady, then?

- Like a sacred place... - Yeah. - ..you cannot point a finger.

So you have to do this, or you put your finger like this down that way.

- OK. Got you. - That's what you've got to do.

- We also have, like, bad fady,

like in the south-east, for example,

there's a tribe, it's fady to have twins.

Babies. - It's fady to have twins?

- Yeah. - Mm-hm.

- So if you get twins, you have to bring the babies in front of

the ranch where you keep the zebu, you open the door,

you let out the zebu.

Then the zebu will step on the one who should not live.

If both die, means that both should not live.

It's fady to them.

- What?! - Yeah.

- That still happens today? - Yeah.

- It's still happening,

but now there's an NGO trying to... - Stop that? - ..fight against that.

Yeah.

So they are, like, trying to get

the second children that the parents do not want. - Yeah.

Although there are attempts to eradicate some aspects of fady,

others remain strong.

Bic explained that, according to local beliefs,

the souls of the dead are housed within sacred baobab trees.

Traditionally, holy people are able to speak with these ancestors,

and Bic offered to take me to a ceremony where the village shaman

would attempt to make contact.

What's the bag for?

- Fizzy drink and sweets and rum.

- Rum, fizzy drink, and sweets? - Yeah.

This is for the, er, for the ancestors.

It's a gift.

- THEY GREET EACH OTHER

- OK, we can sit here. - OK.

What exactly is going to happen now?

- What happening now is that they're going to ask for ascendants

for the spirits. - OK. - Yeah?

He will become something else, like someone else, speak.

- So is he going to take the spirit in him now? - In his body.

- So we don't know what spirit is going to arrive?

- We don't know. We have to wait who is come,

but they will tell who is here.

- CLAPPING AND CHANTING

What is the knife for?

- Oh!

This knife is protecting him

because sometimes some other ancestors are evil to come.

- Oh, I see. So in case a bad ancestor comes, OK.

I said to Bic, "What's the knife for?"

And he said it's just to protect him from an evil spirit.

But as far as I can tell, the spirit is inside you,

so what do you do?

- I think I'm going to dance. Maybe they will come.

- You're going to dance? - I going to dance. - OK, go.

Bic, er, for some reason, decided that the spirit might come out

more easily if he got up and started dancing, which...

HE LAUGHS

..I don't know why he thought that was going to work.

He sort of twerked a little bit by the tree.

- Ah!

- What I didn't expect to see or hear

was the sound of a Bluetooth speaker connecting.

BLUETOOTH SPEAKER CONNECTING

So they're going to play some music now?

- They're going to play some music.

- MUSIC PLAYS

So they're trying to find the right song now? - Mm.

- It turns out the clapping didn't work,

and so we had to find...

Well, basically they went through a load of different Malagasy tunes

to try and see what song would bring out the spirit.

MUSIC PLAYS, TRACKS SKIP

- They're trying to find out the best one that they like.

- How do they know which one to choose?

- Because it's a certain music the ancestor liked.

- It's quite a difficult job, that,

because you don't know which spirit is coming.

And even if you did know which spirit's coming,

you don't know what music they like.

So they were kind of skipping through, trying to find...

..the type of music that the spirit might enjoy.

Er, meanwhile, the shaman, who was going to be channelling

the spirit, just sort of sparked up a cigarette.

BLUETOOTH SPEAKER DISCONNECTING

It sounded like the Bluetooth disconnecting. - Disconnected.

- What can you do?

Sometimes the spirits turn up, sometimes they don't.

Thank you so much.

I think the fact that a spirit didn't enter that shaman

gives it more credibility.

Because to my mind, you think about any kind of medium in the UK,

if you tell them the BBC are coming to do a documentary -

bells and whistles.

Do you know what I mean? You know, really, if this was fake,

he'd be like, suddenly like making all these noises, dancing,

and they'd be like, "Oh, my God, this is, like,

"the maddest spirit we've ever seen in our lives!

"We've never had a spirit like this one! Get your camera on this!"

And then we'd leave just feeling like we'd really got a show.

But...turns out, spirit didn't feel like it.

Just wasn't going to happen today.

Thank you.

It's not his fault.

He was sat there. Everyone was gathered round.

He had a crowd.

The spirit didn't turn up.

Everyone fired out, he's on his own.

That's showbusiness.

The ancestors were not coming, so instead we headed off to

a nearby beauty spot - Madagascar's most iconic vista.

MUSIC: Tsodrano by ALALA

Oh, wow.

- It's beautiful, eh?

- Is this created or did this just happen?

- It's happened. It's already...

- This just happened like this?

- No-one planted those.

They were already there.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

- The Avenue of the Baobabs is a group of endemic trees,

many of which are well over 2,500 years old.

MUSIC: Tsodrano by ALALA

Although they now tower over the surrounding scrub,

the trees would have once stood amid a thick forest.

Gradually, as humans cleared the area for agriculture,

the trees became isolated -

the last remnants of an ancient eradicated landscape.

So how old do you reckon these are?

- This is definitely, like, 1,000 years.

- This one? - Yes!

- How do you know? - Because they grow, like, very slow.

- What is this one here?

- That's tiny one. That's a baby.

- All right, let me have a guess.

I reckon that one...two years.

- No! - What?

- This is not two years.

I would say 50.

- 50 years?!

- Yeah. - This one?!

I'm not pointing at this one here.

It takes 50 years..? - That's older than me.

- OK, let me guess. This one... 150 years.

- This one is, like, getting, like, much... - That's what I was thinking.

No, I'm agreeing with you. - Oh, I know!

- Yeah. So how old do you think?

One-fiddy?

- Yeah, I'll say that.

Yeah.

- BIC CHUCKLES

- They grow so slow.

- This is going to be my new show - Baobab Ager.

When you look like this, it looks incredible.

I just can't get used to how mad these trees look.

- Mm-hm. Now they're looking dead, but they are not.

- Yeah. - They are alive.

- You love these trees, don't you?

- I love it.

- It's good, man. - Yeah.

- 800.

- Yeah! - Yeah?

- You got it, bro! You got it!

Ah, Rom!

- BIC CHUCKLES

Although the Malagasy beliefs remain rooted in the past,

Bic told me that its people are facing unprecedented challenges.

In 2021, the southern agricultural region of Madagascar

was devastated by the worst drought in 40 years.

Crops failed, and more than a million people were forced

into food hardship.

The effects of what's been called the world's first climate-induced

famine are still being felt today.

We pulled over in what would have been, until recently,

a thriving dense forest,

now a scorched, barren patch of scrubland.

How bad was the famine?

Were there people that lost their lives as a result?

- Yeah. It's quite bad when it was happening.

- So was the country in basically a state of emergency at that stage?

- Yes. More than half of the people is migrate.

- From where? - From south to go to the north.

- Right. - Because on the north side, it's more green.

- Do they believe that what they're experiencing is a result of

climate change and the result of what's happened to the environment?

- Yeah, the people believe in that because it's really obvious

there's not much rain. - Yeah.

- Yeah. And in the olden days, like when I was kids,

and we still have, like, lots of rain, right?

And then during the rainy season, like where I am from,

we can plant during the rainy season.

In the dry season, we can go for fishing.

So that means, all year around,

we can eat or we can have food.

- Everybody moves to these different areas during the famine? - Yes.

- What happens to those areas?

- The Chinese buy, er, you know the peanuts?

- Yeah. - Yeah. Really valuable things.

So to grow the peanuts, you have to clear the area.

The baobab is a very old tree.

The baobab being sacrificed,

you have to cut it to clear those forests,

and then the people can plant.

It's only a couple years - one, two, three years -

you can grow on that land you've been clearing.

So that means we have to clear more to plant more.

- So it's not a situation where you just clear some land,

and then that's where you grow peanuts forever?

- No. Not forever.

- Did people begin to move back south, or did they stay where they are?

- They no come back.

- They've not come back? - It's no point to go back and stuff.

If they come back, and then what do they do?

It's no rain.

- So it's been a permanent change, it's not returned to normal?

- It's getting worse, actually.

- As a proud Malagasy, what do you feel about the future

of the country? I mean, how worried are you?

- Really worried.

Those things, I seen it now,

maybe my grandchildren won't see it no more.

We're talking about, you know, the baobab is being cut,

and then, you know, one day, my grandchildren maybe seen

only one or two species remain, or the lemur is gone. - Mm.

- Because we have the pressure for the nature, lots,

we relying on the nature to survive, to live.

- My epic odyssey across Africa was almost at an end.

I'd been on the road for three weeks,

three weeks living alongside a film crew

who had begun to feel like family,

although the sort of family who are really annoying

and you just want to get away from.

Exactly like my real family.

We arrived at the remote fishing village of Belo sur Mer

to spend some time on the ocean.

Beaches really are Madagascar's drawcard.

There are 3,000 miles of pristine, perfect beaches here,

and Bic wanted to take me to see how his own people live off them.

- Nice to be back in the sea.

It gives me, like, energy.

- BIC CHUCKLES

- This is some of the reef fish that you get here.

Sardines.

All of the people here are migrate from places down south,

so basically they just make a house like this.

- So, hold on, all of these people have moved here, have they? - Yeah.

- Because it's easier to fish here? - Yes.

- So straight away, do you feel like, mentally, you're calmer

when you're by the water, yeah?

- That's how I am.

If there's something, like, stress me,

as soon as my head is underwater, I'm so calm.

And then I come up, I forgot those things.

It seems like fresh again here, is it? - Really? - Yeah.

- When my wife is stressed, she likes to dunk MY head under water.

It calms her down.

- Where I am from, it's a village called Lamboara.

- Yeah. - And then we have this special bay called Baie des Assassins,

and when I born, my parents take the belly button, you know,

when are you born... - The cord? - Yes.

and then we put the inside

the belly button here,

and then we have to take

where we are from.

And my belly button is thrown there.

My brother's belly button is thrown there.

My mum's belly button is thrown there,

where my clan is.

- So there are just loads and loads of belly buttons out in the water,

in the sea? - Yes.

This is how we learn to sail a pirogue, with kids.

- Oh, with the little toy ones, yeah.

- Yeah! We make it.

- They don't know how to make a PlayStation. - Yeah!

Oh, man.

- Bic wanted to take me out on the sea in a pirogue for the afternoon

to show me how the Vezo tribe have sailed here

for hundreds of years, migrating up and down the coast,

often living on the water for months at a time.

- OK, so here we are.

I'm going to set the pirogue for you.

So this will go on the first mast. This one.

- OK. - I think it's better, Rom, if you're going to stand there,

you go outer on the pirogue. - Out of the...? Yeah. Sure.

- Yeah. So now the wind are from here.

- Yeah. - OK? So we're going that way.

So you put this balance a little bit this side. - OK.

It's incredibly complicated.

- You follow? - Yeah. I'm following, I'm following.

It's very complicated.

My biggest fear currently is if he says,

"Now you set up that pirogue over there."

- Woohoo!

Oh, yeah! Ha-ha!

Woohoo!

Great, huh?

- You love this, Bic, don't you?

- Oh, yeah!

I love it!

Woo!

How do you feel?

- It's great. - Love it?

- So these pirogues... - Yes?

- ..is it just, generation after generation,

passed down how to make these, right? - Yeah.

This is a culture. - Yeah.

Because it looks so like... Obviously it's home-made... - Yeah.

- ..then the idea that you're going to do a home-made boat

seems so crazy, but it's like, it works beautifully.

- I know.

- So far - I mean, we haven't got back to shore yet.

- Want to go a little bit faster?

- Yeah, go for it. - All right! Ha-ha!

Woohoo!

Permission to go faster!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

- BIC CHUCKLES

- How's that?

- That's so good.

Do you know what's fun, Bic?

Is seeing how much you love it, man.

- Oh, thank you, man.

How about yourself? - Oh, it's good. - You enjoy it?

So what age were you when you started being in boats like this?

- I grew up with my grandfather every, like, holiday.

He's a sailor, you know?

I help him a lot on the pirogue, fishing, go travelling somewhere.

Think I was eight, you know?

When we kids, we playing a lot in the water.

Keep a hold of each other's head.

Who is the longest to kind of hold their breath like this...

- What, you hold each other's head?

- Yeah!

- So how long do you think you can hold your breath underwater for?

- I can hold my breath for, like, uh, two to three minutes.

- Two to three minutes? - Yeah.

- No, you can't. - I can do that.

- Well, go on, then. Prove it.

Well, Bic's kind of in his element when it comes to this kind of thing,

and he's been showing me how to sail the pirogue.

At one point he said to me, "Romesh, you want to help?"

And I said, "Yeah." And I thought, "OK, cool, he's trusting me."

Said, "Can you move up the other end? Because there's too much weight

"down this side."

So basically what I've done is I've been ballast.

That was one minute?

So, like, yeah, it's been fun.

Um, it's been, like, good times...

At what point do we go down and, like, check that he's OK?

Erm, I think he's been such a great guide and, like,

showing me around the country and everything.

Oh, he's up!

- Yes.

- That is Bic, isn't it?

Yes.

Er...how long was that?

One minute 58!

Two minutes. We'll round it up. Congratulations, brother.

Great stuff. - You want to try?

- No. - I want to see how you do it!

- All right. I'm just going to do one minute 59

and come back up just to get it,

because we've got to get back to shore.

- Bic, how long's he been down there?

- Me? - No, how long's he been down?

- Oh, fucking hell!

Oh, God! - He's already up.

- Oh, God!

I panicked, and then I hit my head on the bottom of the boat.

- Ohh!

- Oh, God.

- You OK?

- I'm fine, I'm fine.

HE GRUNTS WITH EFFORT

That was horrible.

Oh, God!

I started shitting myself as soon as I went under the water.

It was horrific.

And then I thought, "I'm never going to get back up again,"

and then I hit my head just under there.

How long did I do?

- 10 seconds.

- Fuck!

- It's good, though.

A good one.

- Although many of the people that were staying in Belo sur Mer

were nomadic Vezo, there is a permanent community here -

families of boat-builders who still construct schooner ships

in the way the French taught their ancestors 200 years before.

As luck would have it, they were launching a vessel that afternoon,

and invited Bic and me along to help.

I say "as luck would have it" -

we'd actually begged them to hold off until the afternoon

so we could film it for our finale.

But everything else is real.

What is this we're going to now?

- This is, like, a launching the boat in the water.

So it's a big ceremony for the Vezo.

- So every time they build a boat, there's a party? - Yes.

They're going to launch the boat. I mean, we have to help it.

- WE have to? - We have been invited.

- OK, so what do we do? Do we push? - We push or pull.

And then it's long rope over there.

- OK. - Whatever you prefer.

- No, you tell me.

- I think we prefer to be on the front.

- OK. - So we can pull it, and it's more space.

- OK. - Let's go a little bit further so not close to the boat,

because it's your first time. - Oh, yeah.

- Because some people fell down and then they get an injury from it.

- Are you serious? - Yeah, I'm really serious.

Right here. OK, this is go.

- Oh, my God.

- Yo!

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

Now we stop.

- Well, we pulled it, and we pulled it the wrong way,

so we've got to straighten it.

I say "we" - I'm doing very little.

- Now we got back this way.

- Well, it's gone out of control.

It's out of control.

- Whoa! Whoa!

- Oh!

- Come, come.

Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop.

- I'm officially announcing my retirement

from the boat-pulling industry.

- What happened then?

- Because one second, you're, like, just pulling.

It's, like, really hard. Everybody goes, "Pull,"

and then it just starts moving so quick.

It's like, "I'm just going to get crushed between these two boats."

So that was fun, I survived, I really hope they get it launched,

but I'm declaring my involvement over, so all good.

- We out.

- The entire week, Bic has been absolutely incredible.

He is such a staunch advocate of Madagascar as a place

and of the people.

Today, to be honest with you, I've really seen what Bic is about.

You know, his tribe are all about the water,

but he is properly of the sea.

I mean, it genuinely feels like you're knocking about with Aquaman.

It honestly does.

Coming to Madagascar has been a proper misadventure

in every sense of the word.

It's a country that I didn't know anything about,

had no preconceptions about, apart from the animated films -

two of which weren't set in Madagascar at all.

But it has been a proper adventure.

I mean, you really do feel like you are...

..in a country that is just its own kind of ecosystem

in every single way.

It's got nature and wildlife that only exists on this island.

It's got cultural elements that only exist on this island.

It's an amazing place.

If you're looking for something that really feels like

you are going on an adventure, Madagascar has got it.

When we finished the Rwanda trip,

I said that that was kind of like entry-level Africa.

If you were nervous about or unsure about going to a place like that,

Rwanda was the place to go.

Madagascar...

..is the place to come when you've really got a taste for it.

The more kind of hardened traveller, I think.

It's like Rwanda's the gateway.

Madagascar is like when you say, "I fancy something a bit stronger."

The roads are difficult. You'll see a lot of poverty.

People are struggling here.

You'll be asked for money a lot.

But I think it's as remarkable as Rwanda and Uganda

for completely different reasons. It's an incredible place.

We've been on the road doing three countries in succession

and...

..to be honest with you, it's felt like a once-in-a-lifetime trip.

I feel like being out here for the amount of time that we have done

has made it feel properly immersive.

Every single day has been an amazing experience.

I've seen elephants, I've seen lions, gone white-water rafting,

hung out with gorillas, saw some incredible waterfalls...

..been on rock formations that don't exist anywhere else in the world.

I mean, it has genuinely been, day after day, a series of unbelievable

experiences, and I feel very lucky to have taken part in it.

You know, some people get the travel bug when they go travelling

in a gap year.

Some people go to a country they weren't expecting to go to

just for a roll of the dice, and they get the travel bug that way.

I got the travel bug by doing a series of travel shows on the BBC.

And, you know, we all have our routes, and this has been mine.

- So where are you going next year?

- Disney World.

I've got kids, haven't I?

MUSIC: Lahy'ty Raho by ALALA

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0