Original subtitles

I'm coming!

Momma Fima.

I'm so happy you agreed to kick him out.

- Other professionals have failed me. - Obviously.

By the way...

This will protect you.

It's a protective charm.

Against hallucinations and delusion.

Do you remember? I don't need him gone forever...

Momma Fima is a professional!

He'll be gone for thirty days exactly.

It's like a train station - everything is on a firm schedule.

Besides, to get rid of him forever,

you'd need "temlekha".

What?

Total destruction.

Death, my dear.

Which is quite another budget!

Astral dimension is not your charity organization.

Give me the stew.

Your grunts are distracting. Put it here!

- Mommy... - Yes?

Let's go back!

Going back brings bad luck.

I don't want this to fall through.

You can get such a chance once in a lifetime!

- Mom! - Hm?

Somebody's hiding in the bushes...

Alina, it's your imagination.

Oh, that's too much! Scram!

Go back!

Shoo! You can't go there! Stop! Stop!

Mom...

All we need now is a woman with empty buckets...

and we are all set, right?

Mommy...

Do we really have to go?

What do you mean? This apartment in perfect.

As for the woman... it was a joke, nothing to fear...

Fear not what you can see, but what you can't sell...

Excuse me, did you say that to us?

I said that to those

who don't know where they are going.

Are you alive?

So that's what he's hiding here!

Oh, you...

The froth has gone green! It's time!

Damn...

Help me!

There...

I shall shut off all your ways,

cover your carpets with blood.

I shall put crosses in all the doorways,

burn all your bridges!

I will be the bane of yours!

This home is not for you!

Remember? I don't need him gone forever!

Ugh! Don't interrupt me!

Don't hold grudges against me!

Go find yourself a new home!

Wow, such a gorgeous house!

- Will we live here? - I hope so!

- Warranty is thirty days. - Do you count weekends and holidays?

Look at her bargaining like she is on the marketplace.

I don't. You get the weekends for free.

- Is it here? - Yes.

The buyers!

How rude! They should have been late!

God! Don't make such a fuss!

Momma Fima is done here and will be gone as fast as the salary.

Hello!

Ella Arkadievna, hello. This is Viktoria.

We are here to see the apartment.

You are exactly on time. I'm buzzing you in.

Ding-ding!

Faster!

Weird...

I'll come back for you.

Yes, who's that?

Ella Arkadievna, it's us again. The door won't open.

Oh dear! I'm letting you in.

Alina, wait.

Cool!

How beautiful!

Now there!

You don't kick an honored astral professional around like this!

Over there! The stairs!

Move it!

I'm sorry, my dear! I didn't mean that.

I'm going to need you.

ENTRANCE NO. 2

Mom, whose kidney is more expensive - yours or mine?

Mine, of course. It's fully-grown, unlike yours...

Wait, why are you asking?

Well, one girl in my class said

that when we'll fail to pay the extortionate credit interest,

one of us will have to sell a kidney.

So, whose kidney are we selling?

- Good evening! - Hello!

- Hello! - Come in!

- Well, who are you? - Alina...

Here comes the new owner.

Oh, sorry.

- You shouldn't push like this. - I didn't.

My God...

What about the thirty days warranty!

This is a wonderful example of Stalinist Empire style.

Come on in! Take a look at the apartment.

Sixty eight square meters.

Two huge rooms!

And you should see the statues on the front of the building!

Wow!

Besides, you get all the furniture for free.

This will be my daughter's room.

You see, we have everything,

even the TV set...

It's gone.

Not anymore.

I'm so clumsy! An elephant in a china shop.

Don't worry, I'll give you mine as a gift!

Anyway, you shouldn't watch too much TV.

Well then.

How's this?

Mom, look at the lamp!

Is everything fine here?

As fine as it gets...

Metro. Three lines cross here.

That's why the apartment is so cheap.

The owners rushed their escape - err - departure to Europe,

so they left everything here.

Furniture and kitchenware.

You won't have to buy anything!

Seventeenth floor, the drafts are horrible.

Real turbulence.

The view is amazing, on the other hand.

Our window looks up there To the Kremlin and Red Square.

Bohemian glass.

Do you know Bohemia is the birthplace of crystal ware?

Ah, bluffing it out?

- Hence the name. - How's this?

You can put flowers here.

Oh, what is that?

Mommy!

To the bathroom! It's very beautiful!

- Open the door! - Please!

Open up! Quick!

Let's go!

Who said you could go?

Don't be afraid! I'll cut you a good deal!

Here...

Check out the view from another room!

The windows look to both sides!

The river is in full view!

Water is babbling...

You are not going to stop, are you?

You say water's babbling.

God!

Water is babbling,

The woman is gargling...

Help..!

Stop!

I told you not to come here!

I'm out of breath!

Here, let's see if you are ticklish! Tickle-tickle!

Let's take a walk.

Stop! Stop!

Help me!

Help!

As you didn't learn from previous times,

I have to take drastic measures.

Hide-and-seek!

One, two, three, four, five, here I come, ready or not.

Don't you dare hurt me!

I'll tell Mother Fima!

She is a magician by birth.

She will cast a deadly spell on you!

Listen.

Let's make a pact.

They buy the apartment, I get my juice, and you drive them out!

I won't bring new tenants for a year!

A year! I swear by momma Fima.

I need this money!

But if your ghostly tricks crumb the deal,

I will bring you boozers every day!

I'll make a brothel out of this place!

It's a deal, then.

I'll call sanitary inspection service!

We'll exterminate you like a pest!

Mom, do you hear this?

It's happiness.

It's the joy of being at home!

It's nice here.

And very cozy.

And you want to live here more than anything.

You are happy.

You are calm.

And you want to go to your balcony.

Wow!

You've never seen a view like this!

Such an apartment for a ridiculous price!

Do you see a plane?

Now who's so impatient?

- Hello! - Mom? I'm not home!

Stas, where is your hospitality? I'm here for a reason.

- A serious business! - You could leave right now. Mom!

Don't moan!

Any business with you ends up too bad for me.

It's a sure shot this time!

Could I share a million-dollar-secret with anyone, but my dear... son...

What?

- Mom... - Mhm...

It's not what you think!

Mom, please!

Well, hello there.

Few surprises there!

- Mom! - Did we meet?

Give me a break!

Of course, we cannot be acquainted.

All the airheads I see with my dear Stas...

It's ok.

I see for the first...

- and the last time. - Mom, leave Angela alone.

- Don't ruin our life! - Really?

Mom has a serious business to do,

and you are having fun here...

All right, then tell me. I don't keep secrets from Angela.

Right, sweetheart?

Sure, darling.

No, I'm not having business with you.

Do you remember, your last venture nearly had me in coma!

- Do I need to show you the scars? - Don't you gabble like a chicken!

- Mom had a vision! - Again?

It was a chest full of gold!

For us both! We are a family, after all!

Now we are?

Besides, someone is head over ears in debt...

If we're a family, why the hell do I pay rent to you?

It's for your sake.

It will help you grow up at last.

I won't work with you.

If you want gold, you can go and take it!

- Or use your witchcraft... - Hush! Shut up!

I am no Dumbledore.

I cannot turn mercury into gold.

- Too bad! - Do as I say...

and you won't have to pay rent anymore!

That's not enough.

All right, the apartment will be yours.

Help me retrieve the chest of gold...

Mom!

Eavesdropping is bad.

Are you crazy? Pulling my hair like this...

Sorry, Angela!

Give it to me!

She's not good enough for you.

Trust a mother's heart.

- Help me! - No!

And I will leave you alone forever, and...

you will have the apartment all to yourself.

Right after we grab the gold.

Vika, I do understand,

the price and location are great.

But the amount of money you want to borrow!

Oleg Evgenyevich!

You come across such offer once in a lifetime!

I will design all the time! I will pay you back!

I will pay back everything. I will be eternally grateful!

Then you'll have to work...

you'll have to do a lot of... work.

I am forever yours, as an architect.

There is no turning back.

You will have to work night and day.

You will work like Cinderella,

and you will bring me golden nuts like a squirrel.

I will be like Cinderella!

I'll be like a squirrel!

Well then, tomorrow you'll get a new project.

We have to win this tender

and secure an order to design this business-center.

- Congratulations on your new apartment! - Thanks!

Well, mom, all is lost!

Workmen moved in and started renovation.

Renovation? What the hell are talking about?!

I brought him back.

He had to drive them out!

I don't know, whatever.

Normally people wait months to renovate, but these...

- As if they've got nowhere to live... - Fine!

We'll bide our time.

So this is what I have in mind.

Great! But let's not forget the time-frames.

Dismissed.

Vika, you are a very good squirrel!

Alinka!

It's our home!

Hooray!

Hooray!

I wouldn't be so happy if I were you.

Kuzenka!

Kuzya, come out!

You bought this place, now it's time to move out.

It's our new home. Come out!

- Get out, why don't you? - Come out!

- What's wrong? - Don't you dare!

- Don't be afraid, come here. - Good boy!

Where are you going?

Kuzenka, good boy.

Kuzya!

Kuzya, where are you going?

Kuzenka, Kuzya!

Mom, look...

What's that?

Mommy!

It's the 222, did I hear it right?

Yes, your ears are all right.

New tenants moved in.

- Calm down, everything is all right! - There!

There!

There, you got a good warming!

You are safe now. Valentin Petrovich! You are a decent man!

Don't make fun out of their misery!

It's for the history. It was always all right...

Not today! Let's go.

First the lamp, then cupboard and glasses... I have a child!

Child is good, a glass is better yet!

Let's have a drink...

What can I say?

The house warming was a success.

From happy cohabitation to divorce...

Eleven minutes!

So you see, the apartment is not ordinary.

It is inhabited by a real house elf.

Wow, a house elf! Do you hear, we're gonna have a house elf!

- Cool! - What's so cool about it?

It's really cool!

The guys at school will be green with envy!

I wouldn't be so happy.

- Look. - Wow, birdies!

Photos of the previous tenants.

It's a present from Valentin Petrovich.

Here.

This one had a heart attack. This one got hurled down stairs.

This one almost hung himself.

This one ended up in a mental hospital.

And this page is reserved for your photo.

So that's why the apartment is so cheap...

To buy this place I had to sell my own,

borrowed money here and there...

Why didn't the real estate agent warn me?

That's her bread and butter.

She sells this apartment from time to time.

No one wants to deal with it but her.

All agencies have it listed as a bad property.

Veronika Arnoldovna stayed there the longest.

- That's... - Mental hospital. From 1973 to 1979.

She waged a war against him, tried everything.

She'd hang garlic around her neck and walk around with a cross.

But he would just play harmonica louder.

Some cheerful melodies he played. Mostly chastushkas or "Yablochko".

I have music education.

And he plays without a hitch, in minor key, though.

And "Yablochko" goes...

It is supposed to be played in major key.

- Dammit! Stas! - What?

Can you pitch this stupid tent?

Fine, I'll leave everything and get busy with your stupid tent.

If you don't help me, I'll leave you here,

and you will stay here all alone, darling.

Now I'm going to have to get busy with someone...

- Mom! I'm sorry. - Are you nuts?

- Could you not talk to her for now? - It's mom!

Hush.

- Yes, mom. - My dear, you must hurry!

Nobody will be home tonight!

The astral has informed me!

This means he made things rough for them.

- Who? - Bugaboo!

We have to rush to the high-rise to get the chest!

Mom, I can't. I'm out of city, by the river...

- You have to warn beforehand... - I am warning you.

Either we meet in two hours to grab the gold...

- Or? - Or you'll regret it!

Mom, I can't...

Unbelievable!

Do I have to throw my barbecue away?

Why are you so upset?

- You are a grown man. - Yes, I am!

So you can decide for yourself.

We will spend some time here, eat the meat, and then you'll go.

Spend some time?

- Nothing will happen in two hours. - Nothing?

Yes.

My mommy will rip my head right off!

No! I'll save you!

- I will protect you! - Will you?

You know, I'm afraid for you.

Your house elf is a monster.

He's chased out so many tenants...

- Is that him? - For pity's sake!

Upstairs neighbors.

Provincials!

It's only half past twelve, and they pretend they want to sleep.

What do we do now?

Live.

Life is so short...

You had hardly played a scale...

- then - bam! - you are all alone... - I want some grapes.

You are sixty-three.

And you have ulcer...

and a lame canary.

You are in the prime of life.

There is one gentleman, from the apartment 137.

He's a widower, but not bald.

Is he dangerous?

Quite the opposite.

He is a very decent man.

He owns a clinic.

I was asking about the house elf.

Ah! You mean that one.

- Don't be afraid! - No, I'm not afraid, but...

Can we stay here tonight?

All the new tenants spend their first night here.

It's a tradition.

Garlic doesn't scare him.

Garlic is good against vampires, but he's a house elf.

You'll need cunning dirty tricks.

Alina!

We live in the twenty-first century!

Won't I be able to get rid of some silly spirit?

Hello...

Why are you sleeping, son?

Why didn't you do as mom said?

Uh-oh!

The refugees are back.

Did you come to grab your stuff?

- House elf, hi! - Hush!

House elf, let's just be friends!

Look, he packed our things!

For us to leave?

House elf, but why? We just moved in here.

All right.

Keep calm.

We will have peace negotiations.

I need to figure out where he is, and how to talk to him.

You could shout into a saucepan, maybe I 'll hear you better!

There he is! Shoot him!

- Let me go! - Kuzya!

Hey, Leopold, are you a snitch?

- Did you just call me a snitch? - Yes, I did.

House elf!

We're friends!

- You understand the feline language? - No big deal!

A wool sock is talking.

Grab your litter box and your women and get out!

These are my people and my apartment.

- And it's you who's going to leave. - Your apartment?

Kuzya!

House elf, please!

We are nice!

You're gonna pay for that!

And you're nice too.

All house spirits are kind.

Just like Santa Claus!

- Let's be friends! - Don't bow to him!

Jab him with a fork!

You just try that!

Mom...

There he is!

Mister house elf!

Bear in mind, I will not forget this!

Please accept our treat.

You see, now, who's the boss!

What? Are you giving him my milk?

There...

I don't like milk either.

How about some jam?

Blueberry jam. It's sweet. Try it.

Have some.

Help yourself, mister house elf.

And let's live together.

I'm not going to live with this moron!

As a family.

- Mama! - Run!

Got that, furry face?

The winner gets the jam.

Get ready for war!

It's poison...

Pot marigold... and bleach!

And some antidandruff shampoo!

I hope you get flushed.

You want war?

You'll get it...

There.

- Demonologist Kirill? - Exactly.

Hello.

Finally! The demon is in the loo.

The demons are on the loose here.

I can feel all the negative energy.

Did you mix shampoo into jam?

- Yes, we did. - Very well, very well.

They brought in the big guns.

So, puke, are you scared now?

My bet is with the fat one.

He's obviously an experienced exorcist.

This will undermine his morale.

For a while.

This is where it happened.

- Real poltergeist! - Mom, do we have to do this?

Maybe, house elf was just kidding and wanted to cheer us up.

You should stay in another room.

It's going to be rough.

You bet it will.

By the way.

I set Cain's seal on your apartment.

You bald bastard!

Now he won't be able to bewitch you or your daughter, or any of the owners.

And don't invite any guests.

It will not be safe for them.

Well...

The space is stirring.

The evil spirit feels his nearing end?

Cards are drawn,

- the game in on! - Can you feel your demise?

All right. Come out!

There you go!

- What's that? - Nothing, my dear.

We have to fight for our home.

Go away, Satan!

Go away, Satan!

What's up with the dancing?

I'm banishing you!

Alina, come here.

I'll draw something for you.

Get up, you loser!

What?

So, evil spirit...

- Are you scared? - Yes, I am.

- Trying to beat me! - You bald head!

I will banish you with my magic knife!

Show yourself!

Careful with that knife!

You can't evade my hand of vengeance!

I will destroy you!

Come on! Knife him!

Scared, huh? The enemy is fleeing!

I'll kill you, filthy sprite!

Chop him in pieces!

Die!

You cannot hide from me!

How about a feather shield?

Huh, bald head! In your face!

Stop dancing! Get the knife!

He's had enough!

Why does he hurt house elf?

They could just talk...

That's him negotiating...

I will kick you out of here!

You evil sprite!

That's enough dancing! Kill him!

You loser!

You should have seen this fight!

Tyson vs. Muhammad Ali!

It's a classic!

Will he be OK?

- He will... - I'll be super fine!

Calm down, old man!

- I defeated him! - Hush!

- So, furry face... - What do you want?

You lost your bet!

It was only the first round.

You know...

Now that's some bad timing...

Look who's feeling down!

- He will never come back! - Of course, he won't.

- He will never come back! - You can't do this to the house elf!

The backlash...

always the same...

after the power potion...

You mean that yellow drink?

Good-bye!

Alina.

Alina, go to your room,

while I clean up this mess...

House elf,

forgive us please.

We didn't mean it...

You were told to go to your room.

Don't you see, mister is busy.

He is dying!

I can't believe

that it's over, and we won!

- We have to celebrate! - I agree, Raisa Ivanovna!

It was wrong!

We came into his home!

We came into our home!

- And he didn't let us live peacefully. - We had to talk to him.

He was there first!

I have a toast - to the victory!

Definitive and ultimate victory!

- To our victory! - Hooray!

How to conquer the world

without drawing attention.

Let's see...

That's stupid... Nonsense. Rubbish.

What was that?

Whoa!

I thought you died. That's a shame.

Bring me some water, ginger. I don't feel so good...

Huh. Like hell I will.

I read sprites like you are supposed to be kind.

- Didn't you make an oath? - None of your business.

That hurt my feelings.

My word!

What's this?

I repeat for the most retarded

- it's our home. - Is it?

You're so dead!

Oh, mom!

I nearly suffocated, you murderers!

Now our house elf will pack his stuff...

and go...

to another home.

Here you go. I did everything at home.

Vika!

- Can I talk to you? - Yes?

So, you are late again.

Here, look at the drafts...

- Mom! - Yes?

Today we modeled fairy-tale characters.

I made house elf.

I don't think it was a good idea.

You should have made Thumbelina.

Or better yet a Puss in Boots.

Wow! Why am I so ugly?

What's wrong with my eyes?

Or is it your hands?

Don't you get at the child!

She does what she can.

Leave off, you ball of fur.

What did Nadezhda Nikolaevna say about it?

The teacher said that home spirits are always kind,

and that we are a family as we live together.

If a house elf lives in your house,

you are very lucky.

- Now we'll have tea as a family. - It's a kind spirit.

He will look after your house, children and even horses.

But you need to make a bargain with him,

get on his good side.

You can gift him with candies or coins.

Put it in a safe place...

Alina, we don't eat candy before dinner.

I just took the teddy.

Here. This is for you.

Try it. It's my favorite candy.

Please understand.

She is just worried about me.

This is for you too.

Let's be friends.

I can't take this anymore.

- I am so tired. - What happened?

I am so strung up. I am having nightmares every night...

Oleg Evgenievich is going to eat me alive...

I went to a flea market today.

So what?

And found something...

Here.

It's a sure way to force him back into the underworld.

Do it after midnight.

Mom, do you have to?

Infinity...

This is something new.

I hope she won't summon Satan with this "something".

For crying out loud! I'm not a demon.

I am an elf. A house elf!

Go to sleep, and you'll be kind in the morning.

Mom is not happy with you.

Do you want to ruin everything?

Leave off!

What do you look like? Let's be friends!

House elf presented me a bead.

Vika!

Vika.

So you are not handing in the final version?

I'll come early tomorrow and finish everything.

I don't want the kid to stay here all night. We have school tomorrow.

All right. I'm waiting for you at 9 am. And bring the final version.

I promise I won't let you down.

Don't be afraid.

Home spirits are kind.

Only, our house elf lived alone for too long,

and forgot how to make friends.

Even a kid determined your diagnosis.

You're a sociopath.

Listen, furry face!

Don't you get that?

I am the finger of fate, avenging angel.

And it's not my fault that someone has an important meeting,

design review,

but the evil alarm clock failed to go off.

It's her own fault - she never apologized.

You mean bastard!

Are you strangling her?

Thanks, Mom.

We overslept!

Who's that?

Good morning, Vika!

Hello, Oleg Evgenievich...

We need to have a serious talk.

Without the lawyers... for now.

Tone it down, mister!

I think you crossed the line today.

It's not my fault, I swear! He turned off the alarm clock.

- I see you place is cozy and nice. - Yes.

You don't even hear the alarms.

- Do you want coffee? - Black, no sugar.

- Who the hell is that? - Her master.

He gave her the money to buy this place.

When I did you a favor,

- I thought you would cooperate. - I do.

No, you don't.

You are going down the drain.

I thought you had a bright future.

- Best architect of the year... - Yes.

- Promising professional... - Yes, right.

Your behavior is unacceptable.

The project I gave you, hoping for your hard work,

is about to fail.

The review is today and we have nothing!

No, everything's ready.

I want you to jump like a squirrel and bring me golden nuts.

I will jump.

I'll bring you everything.

Have a sit.

Thank you.

- It's funny! - I'm so sorry!

You've got sense of humor.

Don't touch me.

It wasn't me.

It's the house elf!

Vika, I have a question. Do you have a...

drinking problem?

Are you kidding?

Is alcohol the reason of our troubles?

Oleg Evgenievich, I am a mother.

I have a young child.

Mom, can I have some vodka.

Viktoria, you'll go to jail.

Just kidding. I want water!

Alina, I told you many times,

Don't barge in when I'm talking to grown-ups about work!

She is a boozer for sure!

Look at her scolding the child!

I'd fire her right now.

Oleg Evgenievich, here. The project is ready.

Take a look.

It's all done.

Here.

Vika, what's this?!

- It's on fire! - Vika, what the hell!

Blown on it! Throw it away!

Throw it!

I'm burning!

Vika, put it out!

Put it out!

The final chord!

Sorry...

Oleg Evgenievich!

Oleg Evgenievich, my dear, don't worry!

- Back off! - I will restore everything!

You won't regret it!

- You can't restore everything... - I'm going too.

It's not your taxi!

Hold on! Oleg Evgenievich!

Everything will be fine!

- Get out of the way! - Let me in!

I must go with him!

I must see him on his way...

- Relative? - Almost!

- She doesn't even work for me! - What?

- You heard me! - Then good-bye.

Oleg Evgenievich, dear,

take this, everything is in there. It's done!

- Check it! - You no longer work on it!

You are not an architect!

You are the devil incarnate!

You'll pay back everything, including forfeit.

Burn in hell!

- You are fired! - Close the door.

Raisa Ivanovna, please, stay with Alina.

- Sure. - I have things to do.

Of course.

Angela, get out, I can't carry everything.

I'm coming.

Yes, Mom.

Listen, we are going to take the gold today.

According to astral, midnight is a favorable time.

Couldn't you warn beforehand? I can't do it today!

- I... - It'll be a bad idea to fail me.

My patience has a limit.

All right. I got it.

Why do you act up?

She said - here - it's a favorable time.

So, we'll do as we arranged. We take the gold and leave.

Right. You want to rip mom off. Are you out of your mind?

Do you know what she'll do to us?

- Listen, don't be a coward! - What?

You said it's worth millions.

We'll sell it and go somewhere...

Where will you hide from Mom?

- In Kuala Lumpur, for instance. - Where?

She won't be able to find us there, even with the astral dimension.

Hello!

- Viktoria Smirnova? - Yes.

- Please, sign this. - Yes. Thank you.

- Listen, Tigger! - That's rude.

Start packing your stuff, you are leaving!

Right, we are already on our...

- Knock-knock! - ...way.

Who lives in this little house?

This is going to be interesting!

- Hey, you! - Why so rude?

Whatever you are.

- There he is! - Are you still here?

Kill him now!

You should have been born a songbird.

You keep snitching.

It's not my fault, it's life.

You want to celebrate your departure?

That's right.

One should leave with a bang.

We'll celebrate with festive fireworks... Ouch!

Don't you like it?

I took the effort of going to church...

and had the crackers blessed.

Dang!

I'm gonna be sick again.

What took you so long?

Where were you?

- Timing! - I prepared stuff for you. Here.

- What? - Chloroform, gauze.

You'll put her to sleep.

Mom said the time is favorable.

Just in case. What if she's wrong?

She is never wrong.

Why the flowers?

Are you retarded?

All women love flowers.

While she's staring at them, you'll send her to sleep with chloroform.

There.

This is our trump card.

Wow, Angela!

Holy crap!

Look, this stuff sticks to him!

Aim to the right!

Look at him fly!

Aim for the head!

Stop!

No, don't stop!

It's my home, got it?

Do you like it?

I do.

I'm going to sprinkle you with holy water.

I want you to burn in hell!

I hate you!

You ruined my life!

I'm gonna ruin something else now...

What about ultrasound, against rats and the likes of you?

Turn it off! I hear that too!

Here.

Good luck!

All right.

Let's dance!

You like music, don't you?

You are a jolly fellow, right!

I hate you.

I hope you die!

Good boy...

Wait! Please, hold the door!

- Where are you going? - Me?

Ah, flower delivery.

Where are you?

Fine.

Get out!

That's it!

No more kidding around.

I said get out!

It's Alina's house!

You're so done, bastard!

Flower delivery...

Who's there?!

Much better! I thought I'd pop off.

What are you doing, psycho?

You'll kill her!

That's the point, you animal.

- Are you nuts? - Shut up, or you'll be next.

Flower delivery.

Flower delivery...

Oh, God!

Oh, God...

Mommy!

What a crazy place! It's the third call.

Satanists!

- Where am I? - Almost in the hospital.

I can't go to hospital, I need to move out right now.

We'll do some tests, check you for traumas, and you are free to move out.

It's good you were there.

You must be an angel.

- I'm going with mommy! - Alina, wait!

Tell her to get well!

- Mommy! - Let me in!

Madhouse!

Look at this superhero!

He killed a single mother!

Who's gonna buy me food now - the girl? Or you?

You can move to the circus. Or a dumpster.

You deserve living in a dumpster for ruining lives!

The girl will be sent to orphanage now.

Don't you understand - it's a family!

If you hurt somebody - everybody else will suffer.

Hey?

What's that?

Anybody home?

Who's that?

- Yet another exorcist? - No idea...

He was there when the ambulance arrived.

What does this towhead want here?

How would I know?

- So? Where are you? - Mom, stop controlling me!

Besides, I can take care of the gold without you and your astral forces!

That's it!

I don't get it!

I don't get it. Is there gold in here?

How did he get to know about it?

I lead him to my hidden treasure,

but he decided to rip off his own mother!

He wants to rob me blind!

From the look of it, it must be here somewhere.

Please tell me, do you have a hidden treasure?

It's none of your damn business if I have.

Why? They are my people,

and everything that belongs to them, belongs to me too.

What is that - a gold detector?

So where is it?

What did the astral say?

Well...

Wow!

It's working!

It's working!

Damn gold-digger!

What?

Now kick him in the head so he kisses the floor!

Why?

There are more humane ways.

Are you OK?

I found the gold! We can go to Kuala Lumpur!

Why are you naked?

Where are you going, children?

With my gold to boot?

Mommy...

Did you want to rip me off?

No, you get it wrong...

I found it.

Mommy!

Don't whine!

Now we have to say good-bye to you, darling.

Your hair.

Don't spit!

Mom, you killed Angela!

She'll sleep it off and forget everything.

- You must remember who your mother is. - I do.

I felt I couldn't trust you.

Fine. An evil elf lives in the house.

You won't do it without me.

- Any more questions? - No...

Are all house elves this greedy?

Stashing gold and then standing guard like dogs?

Malicious dogs.

We are not. Elves are kind. We protect houses.

Yeah, right. So you say.

I lived in perfect harmony with my first family.

There was always coziness, kindness and tidiness.

I helped them.

Sweetheart, hurry up, please.

Pasha, have you seen my watch?

There they are.

What makes us happy?

A peaceful and loving family.

So what went wrong?

They moved out, but I stayed.

Why didn't you follow?

Did you act up?

They didn't invite me.

Elves can only follow when we are invited.

- That's the way it goes. - It's different for us, cats.

I hoped they would come back and...

But they never did.

They just left me, betrayed me.

Then other people came...

And then another family.

I hoped I could make friends with them and live...

as a family, but...

But it was impossible.

People...

People got worse.

And the house got worse too.

We are connected.

If the house is full of rage and hatred,

It grows moldy.

The mold is invisible but it covers the walls.

Daddy, please, don't leave!

If only people paused to think,

they would realize they are the root of all trouble.

I couldn't let my house get sick.

I wanted it to be warm and happy.

I hoped I'd make things right.

So I protected the house.

But when I saw Alina's tears today...

Why did you do this? Why are you so mean?

I thought you were good...

But you...

I realized I started killing the house.

This is why we are not staying here any longer!

It's very dangerous!

But why?

Raisa Ivanovna, please, say something.

You are right.

Good evening.

So you've been released?

Yes, Valentin Petrovich.

We are back home. And nobody was sick.

And asking such questions is quite impolite.

Fine, I'm leaving.

Let's go, Tuzik.

We have to take a photo of this lady.

A photo of her moving out!

- Let's go! - Mom...

Why are you crying?

Everything is fine.

I am so worried about you.

Raisa Ivanovna, can we stay with you tonight?

And we'll pack our things in the morning...

Don't you worry!

The last mournful night at mine is also a tradition.

Sonny, the elf did everything for us!

We have to act quickly.

We'll start in the morning.

What if they are home?

Check it first!

How?

Ring the doorbell.

If she's there, tell her you wanted to ask about her health.

Treat her to a cake.

Make sure everyone's eaten at least one piece.

Two is better. But don't eat it yourself.

The amount of sedatives could bring down an elephant.

But why? You said time's favorable...

Astral helps those who help themselves.

Wait till they fall asleep,

and start looking for gold.

What about the demon?

He's quite aggressive.

Don't be afraid of the elf.

I'll give you herbs and a charm. He won't touch you.

I hope so...

Because if anything goes wrong...

we'll go to jail together, Mom.

No, my dear. I won't go to jail.

It's wonderful I found you all together...

Thank you, Stanislav...

Mom will be so glad you liked her cake.

I have eaten my piece.

Stanislav...

I thought...

- Maybe it's not a coincidence... - Maybe.

Maybe...

Vika could live at your place for now.

- What? - What?

Where did you get the gold?

I had one crook living here.

He used to buy stolen things,

hid them beneath the floor.

I hid them in another place.

He almost had a heart attack when he didn't find them.

Listen...

What if I shouldn't have hidden the gold?

Could it ruin my karma?

Sure!

Now to fix everything, you have to give it to me.

You are at it again.

Why do you want it, you furry beast?

- What will you do? - And you?

Nobody sees you except me.

You are flawed.

Flawed...

Listen, we are the best thing that happened to you.

You must make things right.

Think about it.

When we leave, another family will come.

Another war, and there we go again.

Endless rage and mold, right?

Indeed!

If I keep them...

The girl is quite nice, and...

the woman doesn't drink...

Dude, we are the best you can get.

- If I keep them, then... - Then?

- The house will get better. - That's right!

I can make things right.

I can make things right.

Of course, you can!

Come on, open it up!

That's enough cake. We gotta go...

pack up our stuff...

Vika!

Stanislav...

- Mom said... - According to samurai code...

If you saved a life of a female person...

What?

You are obliged to marry...

Holy crap!

Right on time.

I almost got married.

- How do you like it? - I'll be darn!

I'm gonna faint with happiness!

I mean, the woman will faint.

Finally! But don't give them everything.

Half is mine.

And you won this lottery!

Ta-dah!

It's him again!

Why did you have to take the gold out now?

Who wants to be a millionaire. Last round.

That's it, blondie! You'll walk out of here without pants.

And we'll take a picture and post it on Instagram.

Are you still here, ginger?

Did your pipes break?

It's the gold!

Stop! Don't!

Wait!

You evil sprite!

Eat dust, bastard!

You want a fight?

Fine, you'll have it!

I'll show you!

You'll walk with a bare behind all over Chertanovo.

You'll see...

Why don't you sleep, loser?

Have you lost your hearing?

He lost his shame!

See, the protection charm.

Son of a witch!

What are these herbs?

Toad ivy, I think.

Ew! Poison gas attack!

He's getting rid of me.

Throw it away.

How are you feeling?

It's getting tough, huh?

Breathe deeper, we are passing Sochi.

I forgot something.

Hey, it's no time to relax!

Momma Fima has prepared a mantra for you.

Check it out.

So...

Willow weed, willow weed, it's time to wake from a bad dream!

You cried a little...

Wow! I gotta memorize that - willow weed...

You just try, you furry face!

...twining with vines...

Ginger, turn her off!

What will I get?

I'll let you live in this apartment...

Let my will be harder than

a burning mythical stone.

So is it a deal?

-It's time to wake up... - Yes!

You cried a little,

you showed us the way and wrapped up darkness...

You got tired, twining with vines...

drowning in tears...

Come on, do it!

Let my will be...

Willow weed... willow... willow...

You ginger bastard!

Get out of here!

If you come back I'll throw you off the balcony!

No way, mister!

Let's move on to plan B.

She's sound asleep.

Mom!

Damn! The disk jammed!

For Christ's sake!

He's going to replace the disk.

I'm well prepared.

Hey, there! How are you feeling?

Do you want some more?

Sure! That's why you're here.

You're at it again, huh? Stand back!

Bingo!

Where are you going, towhead?

Kill him!

No way! Drag him back!

Mom, wake up.

I told you to get out!

And take your stuff, towhead!

That was neat! Get out right now!

Mom, let's go.

Kuzya! How did you get out?

Kuzenka!

Uncle Stas?

What are you doing?

Alina!

He caught it...

The demon...

Wow! That was impressive!

How you threw him...

Don't touch me!

- Or I will... you get it! - Do whatever you want, I don't care.

- Are you insane? Don't you care? - Of course, I do. It's a bluff.

Are you nuts?

Mommy!

Please, don't yell!

Let her go!

Give me the gold

or I will hurt the girl!

- So? Give me the gold! - Hey!

What are doing with my girl?

- Back off! - Let her go!

- Kick him! - Anybody!

- Hush! - Let her...

Zanzibar herbs.

- They are quite efficient. - Mom.

Calm the kid down...

Let me go! Mommy!

- Don't bite! - Help!

- Let her go! - Let go!

Stay here, eat candy, watch cartoons...

Help me! He's beating me!

Who's beating you? Did they teach you how to lie at school?

Be quiet.

Mommy!

Mommy!

- Mommy! - That kid...

If you keep yelling, we'll hurt your mom. You get it?

Do you want to hurt her?

Then stay quiet.

Stas, set out the table for me.

We'll perform a deadly ritual.

Total destruction.

That's enough rolling around!

You are the demon of this home!

You are to protect us!

Take the chest from the closet.

I don't have hands!

Momma Fima is very annoyed

when somebody stands in her way to gold.

Get the carpet away!

I am locking your powers inside this circle.

I'll take clay out of an old grave...

I'll burn your veins in flame.

I'll cement your power with cinders...

What!

Stop staring and get to work.

Find the gold!

Let the earth wrap around him...

cover him with an immovable stone...

tie him hand and foot...

interrupt his flight.

So, I got you!

I can feel the dough rising,

filling with your vital force.

Now we'll have another conversation.

No more games.

My dear elf,

please, I know you are good.

Please, help!

I'll bring you candy every day.

Or if you'd like, I could give you my pocket money.

Please, protect mommy and me.

Wait a minute...

How do I open this stupid chest?

Holy crap!

So you see, my friend,

the key to this ritual is frying the veins.

Here.

Let's check how you will sing.

No, I can only play harmonica...

What's taking you so long?

I'm dying to see the glimmer of gold!

You will! Mom, get busy with the ritual.

There!

It hurts! Ah, stop!

Help! Help!

Somebody, help!

They're killing my friend!

Dear house elf!

Please help...

We need you so much!

Ginger, come back here!

You nasty sprite!

He's growing furious!

Ginger, the key!

Vital force is leaking drop by drop...

Heart is covered with dust...

Come on! Find my gold!

He's growing in strength!

I'll save you. Here!

Thank you, elf.

Quiet!

Keep quiet! The neighbors will call emergency.

I don't care!

This gold is enough to get me a new face.

I summon the forces of earth, fire,

water and wind!

Are you asleep! Call the police!

I will enchain you. Magic stone...

The girl! Go get her!

Damn! You nasty girl!

Help! Aunt Raisa! Somebody!

Such a bothersome kid. Stop!

I'll box your ears!

Open up right now! Fine.

Where are you going?

Help! Help us!

Bandits are here!

Stop there!

Wait!

- Wait! - She's gonna fall!

Please, come back!

Stas! Stop her!

Give me your hand!

Come back here!

Come back!

We have an emergency here.

I don't know what to do...

Don't touch her!

Help!

Alina!

Alina!

Mommy!

She is falling...

- Mommy! - Alina!

Go save her!

She is gonna fall!

Mommy!

Are you alive?

Congratulations on your safe landing.

I have things to do.

Hey! How did you get here?

- Let's get out of here! - Like hell I will!

What the heck are you doing?

Grab the mom!

Mom...

- You bitch! - Go get her!

She's gonna alert everyone!

- Peekaboo. - What?

I am back, and someone is in for a whopping.

That's it! He'll take revenge now.

Kill him! You are a professional...

No way.

Momma Fima has to go home.

Somebody!

Kick him in the face!

Get outta here!

Ah! Fight, my son!

Are you scared, towhead?

- Mommy! - Alina!

Mom, the elf saved me!

It was him! It's so cool!

I was like - aaah - and then he saved me!

Isn't it great? And he was there.

I was there.

Breathe with your nose, Stas!

And now the staple of the show!

You won't cross my circle!

So much for your circle!

What is that?

Ah, you damn beast! Get out!

She killed me...

Are you nuts, old hag?

We are leaving! Let's go...

And take your damn book!

Amateur!

Get outta here!

Right now!

Mom...

I am sorry.

Sonny.

So, did we win?

- Ginger, are you OK? - I have only eight lives left.

I'm gonna teach you good manners, towhead!

Yes, indeed, teach him!

Wait! Not that again! Pull yourself together!

You have to teach him.

No, no, no, no!

You can't give up like this, you wimp!

Hey, get up right now!

Please talk to me...

I wouldn't like to live there.

I wanna make a statement.

This place is pure evil.

I could see this is a dangerous man.

The look he gave me...

Please call paranormal department.

Call agent Scully and the X-department.

Calm down.

- You've got to have such a department! - Sure.

And call Mulder! Mulder...

Kuzya, did we win?

Furry face, where are you?

What's that?

Elf, hello!

Are you there?

I want to talk to you.

Do you know what's the problem with the grown-ups?

We stopped believing in miracles.

As a kid, we keep looking for mermaids,

Harry Potters, Peter Pans...

We dream of having a magic wand,

meet a real water sprite,

forest spirit or a house elf.

But then we grow up,

and forget our childhood dreams.

When you appeared, I...

I was so scared.

I was simply very afraid.

First for Alina, then for myself.

I was no better, angry with the whole world.

But when you...

saved her...

I suddenly felt that you're on our side.

And I felt so ashamed.

Really ashamed.

And I forgave you everything.

Please, forgive me too.

Forgive me for all this mess.

We both goofed up big time.

I promise you

I won't try to drive you out.

On the contrary,

I want you to stay with us.

I want us to live together as a family.

By the way, I know what you look like.

Valentin Petrovich took a photo.

Vika, let's go! Andrei is leaving.

We have to stop him.

He's single!

I'm coming, Raisa Ivanovna.

You won't have a saucer on the floor any more.

- You are not a cat. - Excuse me?

You are now a member of our family.

Wait, I don't get it!

Isn't saucer on the floor an indicator of a supreme race?

Did they trick me?

More cake?

Mom! Hurry up!

It's so beautiful.

Viktoria, you look gorgeous!

A very nice young man,

thirty-seven years old and single. A perfect match!

If I knew there was a hidden treasure, I'd move to your apartment!

House elves are not stupid and give their gold to good people only.

And you've been acting really weird lately!

By no means! Who made the photo?

Sorry. Yes!

- Hello, Vika! - Ah, it's you.

Yes, this is Ella Arkadievna.

How's it going. Is everything all right?

Yes, everything is fine.

First we had some problems with supernatural, so to speak,

but I established a contact.

What do you mean?

Did you drink to the brotherhood?

...I think they should share the treasure...

To our treasure!

You could say so.

So we are staying here for a long time.

I hope, forever.

- A shame... - Pardon?

I mean I am happy for you!

Have a nice day, Vika!

CALL BACK IN A YEAR

Roman, I'm going on pilgrimage to Uganda.

Experience exchange.

If somebody asks for me, you don't know me,

I died five years ago.

- What about our sessions? - Which sessions?!

I'm buried in China, in Tibet.

No, in Mexico, better yet. It's farther.

Hey, furry face!

Our folks are walking right in the rain.

Why don't you do a job in their slippers?

Back to old tricks.

Relax, they would like it, it's a joke.

I'm not falling for that!

I'm going to be sick with all this sweetness.