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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,840
Oi, you! Don't fucking move!
Oh!
2
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,760
SHE PANTS
3
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,350
Oi, stop!
4
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,750
Fuck!
5
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,910
Very disabled,
6
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,390
move, move!
7
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,830
SHE GRUNTS
8
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,280
Everything all right?
9
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,160
SQUELCH!
10
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,120
Fuck!
11
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,110
The man
came in,
12
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,110
took one look at me,
13
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:48,190
and cut my benefits in half.
14
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,350
You've had ataxic cerebral palsy
since birth? Yep.
15
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,870
Due to a complication -
16
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,150
whoop -
17
00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,550
on the exit slide.
18
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:05,910
I didn't breathe for 17 minutes.
19
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:10,080
I really wouldn't recommend it.
20
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:14,870
How does your cerebral palsy
affect you on a daily basis?
21
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:18,670
My speech... obviously,
22
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:24,070
and when I walk,
I drag one foot behind...
23
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,870
You've ticked...
24
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:30,110
..."walking long distances brings
you considerable pain."
25
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,030
You got here.
26
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,390
You don't seem to be
in considerable pain.
27
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,710
Your words.
28
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,950
Well, no, not today, but...
29
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,790
TYPES KEYS
"Not in pain."
30
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,630
Well, no, don't write that.
31
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:48,840
Moving on.
Do you regularly soil yourself?
32
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,200
Oh, God.
33
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,200
BANGS DOOR
34
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,000
God.
35
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:02,870
Oh, God!
36
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,990
Mam, the lighter.
Pass me the fucking lighter, Mam.
37
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,470
Oh, God!
38
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,110
Sorry!
39
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,480
Hey, hey, hey. You're, um...
40
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,600
Don't I, um...?
41
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,670
Didn't we shag in a Co-op storeroom?
42
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,150
I don't shop in Co-op.
43
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,030
Their sausage rolls
44
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,630
are not big enough.
45
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:34,270
Could've been in Asda.
Hmm, Asda.
46
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:39,470
I think we went to school together.
47
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:43,160
Ewen Sheridan, right?
48
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,430
Fuck!
49
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:51,110
It's fucking you, man.
Hey, fuck, it's Emily Dawkins!
50
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,630
Wait, I thought you'd died.
51
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,990
Oh, no.
52
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,790
That was that other disabled kid.
53
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,230
The other one. Wendy.
54
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,670
Hmm. Pot-ayto, pot-ayto.
55
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,310
I haven't seen you since...
56
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:09,630
The fires.
57
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:13,750
Nobody believed that sweet
little Emily were involved.
58
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,350
I could get away with anything.
59
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,670
What are you here for?
60
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,750
An appeal. Hmm.
61
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,950
But I fucked it.
62
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:28,270
I told them I don't soil myself.
63
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,920
Yeah, you gotta play the system.
Mam...
64
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,150
...do you soil yourself?
65
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,390
Yeah. Can you wipe your own arse?
66
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,150
No. Are you in pain?
67
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,640
SHE WINCES AND GROANS
68
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,910
HE LAUGHS
69
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,630
Just your regular Julie Dench
over 'ere!
70
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,990
She's got that multiple scoliosis
thing, right, but it's not that bad.
71
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,270
Sclerosis, you dumb fuck.
72
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,510
Scleros...
73
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,070
And what's up with you?
74
00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,150
One foot -
75
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,200
half a size bigger
than the other.
76
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,840
Look at 'em.
77
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,910
Bizarre.
78
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:13,280
And I do genuinely
fucking shit myself, but...
79
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,480
...only when I'm completely
fucking battered.
80
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,470
So, what do you do for a job, like?
81
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,990
I work for a charity.
82
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:29,350
We check if workplaces
83
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,910
have accessible loos.
84
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,790
And then we give them
85
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,390
a sticker if they do.
86
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,520
Oh, I love stickers, man.
87
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,590
So, do toilets pay well?
88
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,350
It's voluntary.
89
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:57,430
But Jo, our boss, she's amazing.
90
00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:03,030
She'll start paying us soon.
91
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:07,950
We have an office in the back.
92
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,520
Is that where they keep
the donkeys?
93
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,630
Yeah. It is.
94
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,480
Don't it stink?
95
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,910
Yeah. It does.
96
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,550
Look, it's a bit random,
but if you need 50 squid
97
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,790
you could deliver this tomorrow
at 10:00.
98
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,080
Flat 42, Gurnard House.
I'm too busy to do it meself.
99
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,310
What's in it?
100
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,590
Kinky shit. I sell whips,
101
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,030
plugs, clamps, flashlights.
102
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,790
Are flashlights kinky?
103
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,950
Well, they are
when you stick your cock in one.
104
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,790
Well, it feels a bit dodgy.
105
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,360
Right. Where is it? Suit yourself.
106
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,990
I'm saved under "fit boy
from assessment centre".
107
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,910
Text me when you change your mind.
108
00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,440
I won't.
109
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,230
You fucking will.
110
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,870
I won't!
111
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,670
Will. I won't!
112
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,080
Will!
113
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,920
I won't!
114
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,950
Fucking WILL!
115
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,670
I WON'T!
116
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,600
Will!
117
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,310
Mr Andrew Hadden?
118
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,230
My name's Hope
and I work for a Bracklington-based
119
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,990
disability charity called Wee CU.
120
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,520
Is now a convenient time to speak?
121
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,400
When might be a convenient time
to speak, Mr Andrew Hadden?
122
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,440
"Half past fuck off"?
123
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,270
That's disappointing.
Just hang up.
124
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,110
Hello, Emily Dawkins.
125
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,190
No, I was speaking to Emily Dawkins,
not you, Andrew Hadden.
126
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,870
May I ask you one final question?
127
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,870
Would you prefer disabled people
simply shat in their wheelchairs?
128
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,430
No, genuinely, I'm interested.
129
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,950
I will be reporting
you to the Charity Commission,
130
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,800
I hope you're aware...
THUMPING
131
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,990
Oh.
132
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,750
The phone's broken
133
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,510
so I'm off to lunch.
134
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,630
Meal deal, Harry Clarke?
135
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,230
No!
136
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,030
HE GRUNTS
Hurry up.
137
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,790
Oh, I signed for a parcel for Jo.
138
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:35,310
Oh, thanks.
Um, make any phone calls?
139
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,910
Phone calls? Oh...
140
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,950
Who to?
141
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,750
Don't worry.
142
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,350
Enjoy your meal deal.
143
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,030
Yeah.
144
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,800
Oh, yes.
145
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,000
SHE SNIFFS DEEPLY
146
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,750
Mmmm, Jo.
147
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,550
I got a notification about a parcel.
148
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,520
Hi, Jo!
149
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,390
A parcel?
150
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:09,110
No, nothing's here.
151
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,390
Um, if it comes,
152
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,350
I could come to yours,
153
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,350
drop it off,
154
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,710
cheeky glass of wine...
155
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,430
It's only lingerie. No rush.
156
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:26,070
Oh, cool.
157
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,150
Groovy. Yeah, yeah.
158
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,830
Listen, um...
159
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,470
...Emily.
160
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,110
Do you know why I started
this charity?
161
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:40,030
You want every workplace
162
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,870
to be welcoming
163
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:49,670
and accessible
to all disabled people.
164
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,310
Yeah. But, specifically,
Soho Farmhouse.
165
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,590
Did you know they only have
two disabled parking spaces
166
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,910
and, like, one accessible toilet?
167
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,710
No. We rang up
168
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,510
and, actually, they have, like...
169
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:07,990
Don't.
170
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,070
It's abhorrent, Emily.
171
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,830
Let's talk donations.
172
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,070
Yeah, you first,
173
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,630
and then I'll offer my two pence.
174
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,710
Have we had any donations?
175
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,390
Two pence.
176
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,230
And technically that was
177
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,550
bank interest.
178
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:30,550
Actually, I've been meaning
179
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:34,710
to talk to you about wages.
180
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,470
Well, listen, lovely,
181
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:40,030
I can't afford to endlessly pour
money into this little thing.
182
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,030
Bring in those juicy donations, yeah?
183
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,070
Book assessments. And then,
184
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,950
perhaps we can go to Soho Farmhouse
together.
185
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,750
Check out the toilets.
186
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,870
But if nothing improves
by the end of the year,
187
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,830
we'll have to shut down.
188
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,480
Please,
don't make me be that person.
189
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,520
DOMINOES SCATTER
190
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,600
RINGING TONE
191
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,190
MAN MUMBLES
192
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,670
What am I looking for?
193
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,040
What am I? What am I?
194
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,550
What am I? Oh, God!
195
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,470
What was that...
196
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:25,920
...pretty lady?
197
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,070
BUZZER
198
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,960
DISTANT SHOUTING
199
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,150
Ka-ga, ka-ga.
200
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,560
Ka-ga!
201
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,800
The bin.
What?
202
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,990
The bin! The green bin.
203
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,230
What?
204
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,510
Don't keep saying "what".
205
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,350
Have you heard of bins?
The bin. Go to the bin.
206
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,270
Oh, OK!
207
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,640
There we go.
208
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:02,070
Come on.
Yeah, there's a white envelope.
209
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,830
Got it!
210
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,350
Thank you!
211
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,830
All right, all right.
212
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,590
Bye! Don't say bye!
213
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,110
Fuck me...
214
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,600
Rude.
215
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:14,990
Shit!
216
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,480
POLICE RADIO CHATTER
217
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,240
Fucking hell.
218
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,190
Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.
219
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,760
Big boy!
220
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,870
I always wondered.
221
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,710
You'll know this -
you work with donkeys.
222
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,950
What kinda animal
223
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,680
is an uht?
224
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,750
Don't worry.
225
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,840
They're extinct now.
226
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,480
Right.
227
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,510
They're dead.
228
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,590
Never open the serious-looking ones.
Just chuck it.
229
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:17,190
"Dear Miss Dawkins."
230
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,390
Why do they have to rub it in
231
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,470
that I'm single?
232
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,230
And ageing. You're past your prime.
233
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,230
"I'm writing to inform you
234
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,590
"that your appeal was...
235
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,630
"..unsuccessful."
236
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,950
Told you, mate. You shoulda
dribbled. Even I dribble a bit.
237
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:44,670
"All money to be ceased
immediately."
238
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,750
Fuck off and die.
239
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:51,800
Love from the DWP.
240
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:54,790
Did they actually write that?
241
00:12:54,800 --> 00:13:00,150
So I lose the few quid they gave me,
for what?
242
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,710
Cos I can walk to work
243
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,430
and touch the end of my nose
244
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:11,560
with my index finger?
245
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:19,390
That's not lingerie!
246
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:23,470
What do they want me to do?
247
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:27,870
Just stay stuck here
248
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,150
in this house,
249
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:34,470
shitting in an adult nappy
250
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,550
like a big fucking baby...?
251
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,600
What the fuck are you doing?!
252
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,870
Shit!
253
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,750
It was drugs?!
254
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,950
Of course it were drugs, man!
255
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:59,470
You seriously thought I were running
an underground sex toy business?!
256
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:00,710
No.
257
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:04,390
My dad will be home soon.
258
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,430
Go, go!
259
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,390
Outside!
260
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:15,390
I'm a drug user, not a drug dealer.
261
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:21,030
Paracetamol, ibuprofen.
262
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,510
Sometimes both!
263
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:28,230
Listen, right,
seeing you again, right,
264
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,110
has got me thinking.
265
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,590
The ideal drug mule
266
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:36,110
is a good ol' girl
with an obvious disability!
267
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,440
So, vi-o-lah!
268
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,950
"Voila"?
269
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,910
Voi-olah!
270
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,390
Yeah?
271
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,910
You could pass off any powder
as your meds or say,
272
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,270
"A nice man fucking gave 'em me,"
right,
273
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,510
and then start fucking screaming.
274
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,870
Play up your cerebral whatsit, right?
275
00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:00,440
We can make shitloads
of fuckin' money!
276
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,840
Here, smell it.
277
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,600
Smell it.
278
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:12,030
Yeah. Give it a good smell.
279
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,470
SHE RETCHES
280
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,790
You all right?
281
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,990
Onions?
282
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,230
Emily, love? Are you home?
283
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,440
Um... Oh, my God. Oh...!
284
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,320
VACUUM WHIRS
285
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,510
What's this, then?
286
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,470
I dropped a bag of...
287
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,390
Sugar. ..flour.
288
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,230
Flour? Yeah, I was baking
289
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,350
flap... A big cake. ..jacks.
290
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,510
Flapjacks don't use flour, man.
291
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:46,750
A lovely big flapjacky cake.
292
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,510
Oh, right. Yeah.
293
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,790
When's it ready?
294
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,550
We ate it. Yeah.
295
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,470
Before you cleaned up?
296
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,230
Oh, we were well 'ungry.
297
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,430
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
298
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:02,990
What?
299
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,630
Um, all right. Bye-bye, Mr Hawkins.
300
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,670
Yeah, see you later.
301
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,430
Bye, helpful boy!
302
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,310
No problem!
303
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,270
You should go, OK?
304
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,430
Listen, hold coin for a bit, yeah?
305
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,150
Yeah?
306
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:22,750
Think about it.
307
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,950
All right? OK.
308
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,550
Bye-bye!
309
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,510
Bye-bye.
310
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,270
I bet you'll keep that money.
311
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,630
I won't. You will. Won't.
312
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,350
Good day, Dad?
313
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,550
The best.
I've got me front page for October.
314
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:43,030
A guy on the estate
is stealing lead.
315
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,440
It's a lead about lead!
316
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,040
That joke will work written down.
317
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,640
OK...
318
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,830
Oh, hi!
319
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,510
Hiya. Hello!
320
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,550
Hello. Remember me?
321
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,630
It's parcel lady.
322
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,150
Yeah. No pressure,
323
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:22,150
but can we swap back our parcels?
324
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,990
It'd be great for my conscience...
325
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,510
Yeah. ..if we could.
326
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:33,110
Right. You want your packet back,
yeah? Yes, please. Yeah?!
327
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,390
Yeah, you want me to sell it to ya?
Yeah.
328
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,950
Yeah, will that be good? Yeah.
329
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,670
Are you fucking filming me
or summat?
330
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,030
Are you fucking filming with
your little camera? Excuse me.
331
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:42,990
With your little fucking camera?
When's the last train to Ganstead?
332
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,510
What?!
When's the last train to Ganstead?
333
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,590
I'm not a fucking timetable. When's
the last train to fucking Ganstead?!
334
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,790
I'll fucking bounce you up and down.
Move.
335
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,630
Give me that money. Give me this.
Give me this...
336
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,230
Oh! Oh!
337
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,670
Crips help crips.
338
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,310
Hold me beer.
339
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,390
Oh, fucking... Oh! Jesus!
340
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,470
There.
There's your fucking timetable...
341
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,270
DOG BARKS
Hey! You lot!
342
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,030
You're fucked! Stay right there!
343
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,990
Well, it's not
as if we're Usain Bolt
344
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,790
and fucking Paula Radcliffe, is it?
345
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,910
Don't touch that dog.
DOG BARKS
346
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,430
Is that what you teach dogs to do
now, is it, maul disabled people?
347
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,430
What are ya, Humberside Police
or the fucking SS?
348
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,070
Just stay there, sir.
I need to talk to...
349
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,950
We're a couple of poor cripples
who get mugged in broad daylight
350
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,670
and now you're setting vicious dogs
on us!
351
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,270
I want to speak to the young lady
now, sir.
352
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,790
So SHUT UP!
353
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,080
Are you all right?
354
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,510
Can you tell me
what's wrong?
355
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:36,950
I...
356
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,360
I can't help it.
357
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,080
Am I in trouble?
358
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,990
Of course not. Um...
359
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,670
Oh! Er...
360
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:52,990
Gotta go.
361
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,550
Um, did you want to file a report?
362
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:56,790
No.
363
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:01,680
Thank you, Mrs Policeman.
364
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,120
Did you really piss yourself?
365
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,550
Ta-da!
366
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,430
Waste of good beer, that.
367
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:20,990
SHE CHUCKLES
368
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:26,190
Thank you
for beating the living shit
369
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,750
out of that man.
370
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:33,280
How can I ever repay ya?
371
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,030
Blowie?
372
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,830
Yeah, I probably
373
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,470
won't give you a blowie.
374
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,120
Worth a try.
375
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,950
How about a pint?
376
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,550
And that's why I had to have iodine
377
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,870
injected into my urethra.
378
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,560
I wouldn't recommend Belgium.
379
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,190
What's YOUR back story?
380
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:07,950
Oh, I used to tell people at school
381
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:14,630
that I was like this cos my dad was
382
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,630
Stephen Hawking.
383
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:19,150
Fancy a cocktail?
384
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,550
Do they do 'em in 'ere?
385
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,110
No, I'm fucking joking.
386
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:25,590
We're having a lager.
387
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,040
Two more, please, Dave.
388
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:33,510
Well, look who it is. Emily Dawkins.
389
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,510
About your money...
390
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,790
Did you bring a heavy?
391
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,070
Shush. He's on paleo.
392
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,270
He's trying.
393
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:50,550
Ewen, I lost the money you left me.
394
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:54,230
But I got some of the...
395
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,960
..drugs back.
396
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,630
No worries. You're not angry?
397
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:05,950
Nah, I'm happy.
398
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,030
Happy Ewen,
that's what Nan calls me.
399
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:13,030
So he's not here to break my legs?
400
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,790
What would be the point?
401
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,550
Nah, this is Minibus Masir.
402
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,070
All right? I'm Masir.
403
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,430
He has a minibus.
404
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:20,790
Nice one.
405
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,390
When's the last train to Ganstead?
406
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,950
Oh, heel!
407
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,240
We're old friends.
408
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,390
Right, OK.
409
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,080
Well, if you need me, I'll be...
410
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,640
...shootin' pool.
411
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,400
Oh, for fuck's sake.
412
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,910
You, you brought a heavy?!
413
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,350
I did. One word,
414
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:52,880
and he'll tear your face
right off.
415
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,680
POOL BALLS RATTLE
416
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,390
So, we do have a good laugh,
don't we?
417
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,550
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We have a good laugh, don't we?
418
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,230
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. So, did ya
think about what I said, yeah?
419
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,790
Yes. Yeah. It's a no.
420
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,150
Oh, come on, Em, right.
You're perfect.
421
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,190
You're a lonely, boring,
422
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,350
single woman rapidly hurtling
towards middle age.
423
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,310
Am I right, Masir? 100%.
424
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,800
You're invisible. You're nuffink!
425
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:25,430
You have a lovely way with words.
426
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,990
You're gonna come work with me,
aren't ya?
427
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,710
Let me think about this properly.
428
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,790
The charity doesn't pay me.
429
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,350
Shit career prospects, tick.
430
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:43,910
And I'm stuck living with my dad.
431
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,590
No life, tick.
432
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,630
Er, sad dad, tick.
433
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,470
He looked quite well, by the way,
434
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,760
old Steve Hawkings.
Yeah, talking normal again.
435
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:57,470
What would happen if I get caught?
436
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,310
If yous was caught,
they'd just, like,
437
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,960
well, look at you,
and they'd be, like...
438
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,750
Fuck it. Fine.
439
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:12,230
But just until I clear my debts.
440
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,680
Here's some more cocaine for you
to deal.
441
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,030
Are you dealing cocaine on a
Wednesday lunchtime, Emily Dawkins?
442
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,350
No.
443
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:23,440
Why would you think that?
444
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,840
Not again!
445
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,440
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