Original subtitles

Oh. Anything for me?

All for you. A bill, bill-- Yeah.

Bill-- Yeah.

"Resident." That's for you. Gee, thanks a bunch.

Oh. That's for me! It's from Jeff.

What does he have to say? Please. This is private.

Private, private. Oh, "Private, private."

I'm sorry. I lost my head.

Hmm.

[laughs] Oh, no.

Yeah? Hey.

It's all right with me if you wanna keep

your reactions private, private too.

Oh, Jeff's so wonderful. Most boys

don't even like to write letters.

Poor guy must have writer's cramp.

Why? A whole page and a half.

Page and a half? Where do you get the page and a half?

Oh. Oh, yes, yes.

Huh?

Oh, no.

No. Daddy. Somethin' wrong?

Wait'll you hear this. Oh, I see.

When there's something wrong, it's

not so private, private? Just listen.

"P.S. Mom and Dad are in San Francisco

this week on their way to Hawaii.

"Saturday, they're going to be in L.A.

"I wrote and told them to look you up if they felt like it.

"You could meet them if you want to.

No sweat, Jeff." Daddy.

I fail to see why that strikes terror in your heart.

What could he be thinking of? Meet his parents?

Holy cow, I'm only wearing his ring around my neck.

Sort of halfway going steady is one thing,

but meeting a fella's parents is something else.

Why? What difference does that make?

What difference does that make?

Oh, that's the switch of all time-- I have to remind you.

Remind me of what? I'm only 15 and a half.

So? I'm not ready to get married.

♪ [jazzy pop]

♪ If you're in doubt about angels ♪

♪ Being real

♪ I can arrange to change

♪ Any doubts you feel

♪ Wait till you see my Gidget ♪

♪ You'll want her for your valentine ♪

♪ You're gonna say she's all that you adore ♪

♪ But stay away Gidget is spoken for ♪

♪ You're gonna find that Gidget is ♪

♪ Mine ♪

Dad? Dad, wait.

If I have to meet Jeff's parents alone,

the least you can do is help me decide what to wear.

Gidget, for the last time, will you use your own judgment?

I used my own judgment. I reached

for my white skirt and sweater.

What's the matter with that? White? White?

Oh, then all I need is a veil and

someone to sing "Oh, Promise Me."

Egads. Jeff's even got my

subconscious rushing me into marriage.

If I ever heard a casual suggestion--

"If you want to. If you feel like it." Okay.

That's what he wrote to me. What must

he have written to his parents...

to make 'em rush into town and call the very first thing?

They got here yesterday, and Mrs. Matthews

didn't phone you until 11:30 this morning.

I would hardly call that the very first thing.

Dad, this is no time to split hairs. Fine.

Dad, come on now. Help me. I'm serious. You look it.

Don't you even care what kind of an impression I make?

Suppose they don't approve of me. Suppose

they refuse to come to the wedding.

What wedding?

When you read Jeff's letter, you weren't ready for marriage.

Now you're galloping down the aisle-- alone, I might add.

But someday, I'll be galloping down the aisle with someone.

Oh. Suppose it turns out to be Jeff?

It could, you know, if I don't change my

mind, meet someone new or marry anyone else.

Oh, well, when you put it like that,

it's certainly a definite possibility.

You see, that's why I have to

make exactly the right impression.

Uh, not too old, not too young.

You said the magic word. [together] "Too young."

Right. But only chronologically.

A girl can be a lot older mentally

than she is chronologically.

[horn honking]

Della Mae.

And a girl can be a lot younger

mentally than she is chronologically.

I'm glad we can end this

discussion on a note of agreement.

All we've agreed about is Della Mae.

Don't any of your smart students ever get crushes on you?

It isn't really me they're after. It's a passing grade.

Oh, hi, Professor, Gidget, honey.

Professor, why don't you let me give you a lift?

Then you can concentrate on other things instead of drivin'.

Well, thanks, Della Mae, but I'll need my car later.

Uh, but if you'd really like to give somebody a lift,

Gidget has a luncheon date at the Beverly Terrace Hotel.

Oh, well, I'd be glad to. At your service, honey.

Me. Me. The ride's for me. Oh.

If I can get away from my meeting soon

enough, I'll come by and pick you up.

Thanks, Della. Hey!

Aren't you even gonna wish me luck?

Why? You know how to say "Happy to meet

you," "Thank you," "Please pass the peas."

Yeah, but my whole married in-law

life could depend on the way I say it.

Wear the blue. It makes you look days older.

I've already decided on the white. Well, fine.

If Della Mae knows the lyrics to

"Oh, Promise Me," you're all set.

[Gidget narrating] Not only did he leave me with my problem,

he left me with his.

- Jim? Jim? - [man] What?

Look. Look what they've done to my hair.

Who? The beauty salon downstairs.

Looks all right to me. No, it's all wrong.

I said set it back, so they set it forward.

Well, wherever they set it, I like it.

Don't you think it makes me look old? [sighs]

I mean older. Are you on that kick again?

Yes, I am. Do you know there's a

convention of shoe salesmen in this hotel?

There is?

I've been across that lobby at least four times this morning,

and not one salesman-- not one--

Turned round and winked or smiled or anything.

[huffs]

Do you know what that means when a man

at a convention doesn't look at a woman?

Means he's got a pretty big hangover.

Well, that's very gallant, but not necessarily true.

Forty. I don't feel 40.

It's awful to reach an age and not

feel it. That's the way it should be.

Never reach an age until you feel it. Mm.

But kids make you feel it. Like Jeff and this girl.

Oh, she'll make me feel a hundred and three.

How can you be so sure? Talking to her on the telephone.

So sweet and so polite. Wait and see. She'll go the whole route.

Standing up when I come into the room.

Stepping aside to let me out of the elevator.

Calling me "ma'am." The whole humiliating route.

That's not humiliating. It's just showing respect.

That's all right when you're prepared for it--

When you're 60, 70 or 80.

I suppose it is tough.

What do you mean you suppose?

It's so much harder on women.

You age so much faster.

Men grow just more distinguished.

A touch of gray lights 'em up.

On a woman, it means light's going out.

Since when?

Wait'll you start having grandchildren.

That'll make up for it.

Well, I won't exactly be having them alone.

They'll be your grandchildren too, you know.

And aren't you forgetting you're five

years older than I am? [laughs]

[sighs] I know darling, but I don't look it. Hmm.

When I go to the lobby, all the young chicks give me the eye.

Older men appeal to young girls.

You remember. Jim.

This is a bad moment. Mm-hmm.

It's a bad moment in any woman's life--

The first time she feels age creeping up on her. Yeah.

Now, I'll get over it,

but at the moment, I need sympathy.

Oh, darling. How can I sympathize...

when I don't know how it feels?

Ooh! Where are you going?

To the drugstore for a headache powder.

Make you sure you get the kind they make for senior citizens.

[horns honking]

Gee, we're-- We're awfully early.

About 20 minutes is all.

Maybe I could wait in the lobby.

Why don't you come in? I'll buy you a soda.

Honey, don't you be nervous. Just

stop frettin' and go on in there. I--

Twenty? Yeah, that's what you said. Twenty minutes early.

20,000 men? [horns honking continue]

Ooh, I wonder if they're all here...

and if they're as attractive as that one over there?

Huh?

Uh, honey, I think I'd better come in with you.

I'll go park the car. Okay.

I'll be right with you, honey child.

Hurry up.

How did she know my name was

Honeychild? Herbert! Herbert Honeychild!

[people laughing, chattering]

Root beer. Make it a double.

Ah, here's a cute little doll. [chuckles]

Oops. Throw her back. Too young. Oh, fine.

Here, now, here. Now we're cooking.

This is more like it. [laughs]

If there's anything I like, it's a real live redhead.

Especially one with big, Bluey-green eyes.

Hmm?

What would you say if I said,

"Where have you been all my life?"

[register dings] Oh. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Uh, could we buy you a drink?

But I want you to know I appreciate

your asking me very much.

Uh, is that a yes or a no? No. Thank you.

And thank you too. I hope that one day

someone does as much for your wife.

And your wife too.

Believe me, there'll come a day when she'll be very grateful

to some strange man...

who comes up to her and says what you've been saying to me.

Yeah, well, she'd better not let

me catch her. Yeah. Mine neither.

What was that? I don't know. She looked normal.

Boy, was that neat. What a groovy put-down.

Has it always worked that great?

I don't know. It's the first time I tried it.

Greatest thing I've ever seen. You

acted so nice to them, so sincere.

Well, I was sincere. I needed a few kind words.

Then you hit 'em with the part about

the wife. Oh, that really threw 'em.

I'll have to remember that.

- Must be nice. - What?

To be the kind of a woman that men

just can't help but turn around...

and look at and wanna meet--

And don't decide that she's too

young and you have to throw her back.

Boy, does being too young ever get to be a liability.

Is it now?

I can't wait till I'm your age.

- My age? - Yeah.

The perfect age, where nobody can tell how

old or young you are and could care less.

Like the movie stars,

where-where you reach a certain point

and you just stay there forever.

Instead of, one minute, being told you're a baby,

and then, the next, having somebody

trying to make you old before your time.

Who's trying to make you old before your time?

My boyfriend and his parents. Oh.

A meet like this, you don't expect

to have till you're at least 20.

- A what like what? - A meet...

with prospective in-laws.

Prospective in-laws? For you?

Well, maybe they're not all that prospective right this minute.

But you know something?

I've got a sneaking feeling I am gonna marry Jeff someday.

- Jeff? - That's his name.

So you see, this meeting today with

his parents, it counts-- counts a lot.

First impressions last. Well, um,

occasionally people can change their minds, you know.

Not his parents. They're from the East.

You know how stubborn easterners are.

Oh, yes.

Some of them are still trying to surf the Atlantic.

Are they still?

Yeah. And that's how it'll go with me.

One look at me, and they'll decide I'm a baby.

And that's how they'll think of me forever after.

What kind of a chance will I have in

years to come if we get in a family fight?

I hadn't thought about that.

Yeah. I like to think ahead.

Well, I'm sure that they'll find you absolutely enchanting.

Hmm.

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh! Ah!

Oh, dear. Oh. Oh, swell.

In addition to everything else, I'm gonna look like a slob.

What a shame.

But I promise you that nobody will notice.

How can you be so sure? Well, I have a sneaky feeling of my own.

There.

Well, good-bye and good luck.

I promise you you won't need it though.

Thanks. Oh, and thanks for the great

put-down, you know, with the shoe salesmen.

Oh, yes. [laughs]

toodles. Bye.

[man whistles]

Hey. Well, hello there.

Howdy. Yes, indeedy. [chuckles]

Good day to you, too. Hi.

Well, I do believe you're following me.

Eh-- So I am. Yes, uh, a little bit.

In another minute, I might ask you to have a drink with me.

Oh.

I'll just have to say no until my

little friend meets her friends.

Does that mean later? Well, it

certainly sounds like it, doesn't it?

Later.

Very nice.

I'm gonna have to start buying more shoes.

I thought you were supposed to have such a mad crush on my dad.

Well, I do.

But modern psychologists tell us, in order to

truly love one man, you have to love 'em all.

You know something? I think you're gonna make it.

I just happen to admire good-looking, adorable men.

After all, they are strangers in town,

and you wouldn't want me to be rude or--

Why, honey, whatever did you do?

I, uh-- I got in the way of one of your strangers.

You know, you oughta take a lesson

from this lady I just talked to.

She knew how to put down men

without being the least bit rude.

Now you can't go meeting Jeff's folks looking like that.

What else can I do?

Come on. Where?

To change sweaters. You wear mine. I'll wear yours.

Why, Della Mae, that's downright generous of you.

Oh, that's all right. Nobody's gonna

notice a little old root beer stain on me.

What were you saying about what lady? How wasn't she rude?

Well-- Oh.

Forget it.

Jim, just for once, do as I say and don't ask any questions.

I'm supposed to go down to the lobby and look for a girl...

in a white skirt and sweater with a root beer stain on it?

That's right. Get in a conversation. Put her at ease.

You been drinking? I have not.

You've got to be drunk to expect

me to walk up to a strange woman--

Child. and talk to her and put her at her ease yet.

Wh-What is she gonna think?

She isn't gonna think anything. She's gonna be too nervous.

But this way you get a chance to

meet her the way I did. No, Laura.

Jim, please? Well, when you put it that way.

No. Oh.

All right, spoilsport.

It's Jeff's girl. What?

Yes. Now, I'm not gonna tell you anything else.

Now will you do it? Well, why didn't you say so?

'Cause it spoils the fun.

Just be perfectly natural with her, and

then when we do introduce ourselves to her,

she won't have to behave any other way. Uh-huh.

And she's darling. She is, huh?

Mm-hmm. And she thinks I'm the perfect age.

How did she put it? An age where no one can figure out...

just how old you are or how young.

And nobody cares. She was drinking too, huh?

Not that one. What?

This one. Why?

It doesn't make you look, uh, quite so, uh--

Quite so what? Um, stodgy, settled.

Uh, what's the word? Um--

Fresh. That's the word. [laughs]

I don't know, Della. I don't seem to take

up as much room in your sweater as you do.

Well, it's better than having it too tight, honey.

Yeah, I know what you mean. But do you?

Oh, where are those house phones?

I can't put off calling the Matthews much longer.

Did you ever notice what beautiful

eyes the short ones all have?

Della, cut that out. Goodness'

sakes. I'm just trying to be nice.

Well, if you have to be nice, can't you

be nice like the lady in the drugstore?

You know-- [sighs]

Um, may I have Mr. and Mrs. Matthews' suite, please?

Oh, this thing. [gasps] Look

at that one. Isn't he attractive?

Oh, I just love 'em when they get that age, like your dad.

Oh, brother. Bye-bye.

Where are you going, Della? Window-shopping.

Can't you wait with me till I meet them? I need a friend.

Well, all right. Mrs. Matthews. Hi.

This is Frances Lawrence. How

have you been? I'll be going now.

You have them on the telephone. I'm here.

Would you like me to come right up? You don't need me.

Shh! Oh, no, no. Not you, Mrs.

Matthews. You don't need me anymore.

Uh. Oh, you want me to wait in the lobby? Yeah.

You're coming right down? Well-- Well, how will I know--

She hung up. Good-bye, honey.

Della, wait with me. They're coming right down. I'm scared.

Well-- Oh, look!

Oh, Della, this sweater just isn't gonna work.

I think I'm better off with the root beer. Come on.

Am I mistaken, or is he finally lookin' over here?

Della, come on, please? Well, honey,

if the man wants to be sociable--

Either come right now, or I'll tell my dad and--

And you'll never pass English.

But he's already comin' over.

Well, then, get rid of him quick,

or it's an unconditional "F."

But I don't know how. Well, like the lady in the drugstore did.

First-- First, thank him and tell him how grateful you are.

That's G-R-A-T-E-F-- as in "flunk"-- U-L.

[whispering] Then hit him with the line about the wife.

Hurry up. I want my sweater. All right.

I wonder if you could be the little girl I'm looking for.

Well, I could've been if you weren't so all-fired slow.

Slow? I don't understand.

Otherwise, a distinguished, good-looking man like you,

I'd been real happy to make your

acquaintance. [whispers] Thank him.

Thank him. Who?

Oh, but I do appreciate your askin'.

Asking? Asking what?

[whispers] Grateful. Grateful.

- Grateful? - I'm so grateful.

His wife. Wife.

I-I hope your wife has as much luck. My-My-- My wife?

Although why a woman married to a handsome man like you...

has to be out looking for compliments from strange men

is more than what I can figure out.

Strange? What are you talking about, young woman?

You can't be the girl I'm-- Is that root beer?

If you're gonna get personal. Now

what did you mean about my wife?

What wife? My wife. Did she put you up to this?

You mean to tell me you have a wife

and you're looking to strike an acquaintance with me?

No wonder your wife is looking for strange men.

She is not looking for strange men.

Furthermore, I wouldn't be the least bit happy...

to make your acquaintance if I had known you were married.

I draw the line at married men.

[chattering, arguing] Now, now,

just a minute! Just a minute!

Why, you oughta be ashamed of yourself. I--

And you old enough to be my

grandfather. All I was trying to--

Grand-- Grandfather? [all] Yeah! That's right!

[Gidget narrating] I needed this

like I needed a hole in the head.

Under the circumstances, there

was only one thing for me to do--

What any other normal, red-blooded

American teenager would do--

Run.

[elevator bell dings] [people shouting]

Hey, just a minute. Take it easy. You got troubles, honey?

- Who are you? - Oh, am I glad to see you.

I tell you. This lobby just isn't

safe for a young girl like myself.

All those married men running around, preying on young girls,

neglecting their wives.

I'll bet you don't even sell shoes.

I certainly do not!

And what's wrong with selling shoes? [chattering, arguing]

Hold it! Will you please stay out of this?

Why don't you run along, Dad? Who are you calling Dad?

[chattering, arguing continue]

Oh. Oh, ma'am, am I ever glad to see you.

You see, my friend, she's in big

trouble. This man tried to pick her up.

Then I tried to tell her like you did, and it didn't work.

What? [chattering, arguing continues]

Easy, Pop. I don't wanna have to slug you.

All I know is...

if that's root beer, I'm entitled to an explanation.

Oh, he's asking for it!

You're asking for it. Oh, if they

ever hear about this in Tennessee--

Oh! [shouting]

Oh. Where's your sweater?

To be honest, ma'am, I couldn't care less about my sweater.

What'll I do about my friend?

What am I gonna do about my husband? Husband?

Jim, you've got the wrong girl!

Jim! Jim! Jim! You've got the wrong girl!

Jim, this is Gidget. [gasps] You're Jeff's parents.

What's going on? Some old goat is

trying to pick up a young girl.

Huh?

I've been looking all over for you.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about that. You're--

- Gidget! - [Jim] Gidget!

Gidget! Oh! Daddy!

[stammers] Oh!

My, this was just such a lovely afternoon.

And, Professor, the way you came charging through that crowd.

I had no idea you were in such good condition. I wasn't.

Sorry about that, old man.

Yeah, I'm sorry about that, old man.

You know, I still can't believe you, Mrs. Matthews.

You really have a 19-year-old son? Yes, I do.

Well, he's my son too. You I can believe.

I've had all I can take from you. I wanna tell you something.

I've-I've-- Jim, stop it. It's over. Forget it.

It wouldn't have started if you hadn't

sent me-- I was minding my own business.

I'm certain you were.

Heaven knows I had nothing to do with it.

- If you ask me-- - Gidget.

Oh, certainly. Stop it.

What I was going to say is, all's well that ends well.

Do you call this ending well? Very nice. [muttering]

Well, what I meant is, this started out to be...

a dull, formal luncheon for three, didn't it?

Yeah. Yeah.

And look how it ended up-- just one great big happy war.

Well, she-- she certainly has something there.

Oh, Gidge, for heaven's sake, there's no-- But, Dad.

- There's no point. - Do you wanna stand

in front of your classes tomorrow like that?

With your eye all black and blue? No.

Then sit down and let me fix it for you.

Aren't Jeff's parents wonderful? Yeah, they were nice. Oh.

Shows you, doesn't it? Prospective

in-laws can be fantastic.

The whole trick is to catch them unaware.

Meet them before they're prospective

in-laws so they're still human beings.

- Is that what I mean? - I don't know what you mean.

But what are you doing?

Well, I'm looking for the first aid booklet.

I know it's hot or cold applications when it happens...

and the exact opposite afterwards,

but which?

But have no fear. If we can't find the booklet,

we'll play it safe and do both.

- Oh, fine. Hey, Gidge. - What?

Forget it. My eye's not gonna be black and blue.

It's not? Nope. It's gonna be green and purple.

Oh, Dad. Ooh.

[Gidget narrating] Isn't he the greatest? Hey.

I just happened to think: Any guy

who marries me is gonna end up with

Dad as a father-in-law.

How's that for hitting the jackpot?