Original subtitles

[Gidget narrating] Up to 9:30, it was a normal Saturday night.

Daddy was home working, and I was out playing.

At 9:30 sharp, it became definitely abnormal.

[door opens] I was home.

Thanks for the movie, Tate. That

drive-in has the best hot dogs in town.

I wish we could've stayed for the

second picture. I was still hungry.

Yeah, I know. But if your poor old daddy

was swamped with work over the weekend,

wouldn't you want to come home early and help?

Not me. He's an undertaker.

Oh. Yeah. Well--

Well, if he was just a normal person like my

dad, a college professor, I'm sure you would.

So if you'll excuse me, I'll see you Monday at school.

Be down to watch football practice?

Well, natch.

It's my favorite sport. toodles.

Well, where are those true-false tests?

- Hi, Dad. - Hi, honey.

Hey, I really apprec-- [footsteps on stairs]

[doorbell rings]

Hi.

Hi, Corky. Sorry we had to start out so late,

but my poor old daddy was swamped down with exam papers,

and he really depends on me for help.

- [Corky] Sure. That's okay. - Good-bye, Dad.

I saw you watching basketball practice

yesterday. Natch. It's my favorite sport.

[door closes]

What you get for hiring cheap help.

♪ [jazzy pop]

♪ If you're in doubt about angels ♪

♪ Being real

♪ I can arrange to change

♪ Any doubts you feel

♪ Wait till you see my Gidget ♪

♪ You'll want her for your valentine ♪

♪ You're gonna say she's all that you adore ♪

♪ But stay away Gidget is spoken for ♪

♪ You're gonna find that Gidget is ♪

♪ Mine ♪

♪ [rock]

I don't dig why you dated them both on the same night.

Corky Cook and Tate Cook hate

each other. Didn't you know that?

That's how I got goofed up. I couldn't clear myself.

I dated Corky for the 14th and Tate for Saturday night.

And they turned out to be the same night. Very careless.

What you need is a social secretary.

Somehow I feel it's all Jeff's fault.

Oh, that's logical. Jeff's been away at

Princeton for the last couple of months,

and you haven't even seen him, so it's his fault.

It's just that I love him so much and miss him so much,

that I'm always looking for people that remind me of him.

Those two gorillas? Well, Tate's captain of the football team,

and Corky's captain of the basketball team.

And Jeff was captain of both teams.

Good thing he wasn't interested in baseball,

track and swimming, or you'd really have problems.

Loneliness is a terrible thing. So's bloodshed.

♪ [continues]

Tate! No one ever invites 'em to the same party.

Somebody did.

Oh, no. I thought this bash was exclusive.

Well, how could you think that if you were invited?

Hey, you wanna do something about it? Now, listen, you two.

This is a living room, not a battlefield.

After all, you're-- you're

- cousins. - [Tate] Don't rub it in.

[Corky] Hmm. Duh.

You were supposed to bring a date.

[Tate] Well, she went home to help

her pop. We went to an early movie.

[hostess] Well, okay. But I hope

you're not looking for trouble.

I got all the trouble I can handle under

the hood of that crummy Olds Special.

Is there, uh, somewhere I can wash

up? Sure. Right through that door.

Thanks. ♪ [stops]

What a house.

[knocking on door] Anyone in there?

Uh, uh-- [in high voice] I am.

[screaming]

- Anything wrong in there? - [sputters]

[screaming]

[continues screaming] Gidget!

What are you doing? [footsteps sloshing]

I'm taking a shower! With your clothes on?

Well, we all have our little peculiarities.

Wh-What happened to your father? You

said you had-- Yeah, I know. But--

Things just didn't work out like I planned it.

Well, I'm sorry. I-- I'll make it up to you.

You still wanna take me to the Founders' Day dance?

Oh, well, sure. Didn't I ask you? It's a date.

Gidget! Look at that. [boy] She's all wet.

You have your car? You're all wet.

How can you tell? Wild guess.

Come on! I'm not finished eating yet.

It's an emergency. I'll feed you at my house.

Uh, I had a little accident. I have to go home.

Well, I-I'll take you. Oh, no. That's all right.

Uh, scratch tonight. I'll make it up to you.

How about next Saturday night,

starting early? Saturday-- B-But I--

Is it a date? Yeah, I guess so. I'll bring gardenias.

Fine. What happened? Do you have to leave?

Yeah, and so does your towel. I'll get

it back to you. Thanks for the party.

It was wild. The food too. I hate to leave it.

Gardenias?

The Founders' Day dance. It's in two weeks, isn't it?

Well, if this were last Saturday night, it'd be in two weeks.

You mean it's-- Next Saturday.

Holy crutch. I did it again.

[sighs] The best you can do is head for the border.

When those two apes compare notes--

They never talk. They just fight.

That's a point in my favor. Not

with you in the middle, it isn't.

Oh, don't say that. I can't stand the

sight of blood, especially my own.

Are you home for good or just taking a breather?

I may never leave this house again. How are the tests coming?

Oh, with your help, just fine. [chuckles]

Well, I've been a little busy this evening. So I gathered.

And that's nothing compared to what she's gonna be.

Well, I don't feel that I should interfere,

but do you think it's smart to date two boys the same night?

I'll level with you, Dad. I did think it was smart.

But then again, I also think I've been

short-changed in the brain department.

If only Jeff was here-- Life would

be so sweet and uncomplicated.

Well, if that's all you need, prepare

for a sweet, uncomplicated life.

This telegram was phoned in an hour ago.

His grandparents' golden anniversary next week--

He's flying in. "Best of all, what we spoke about when I left:

I'll be taking you to the Founders' Day dance."

Forget the border. Just take the pipe.

What's the matter, life not sweet and uncomplicated?

Dad, before this, life was impossible.

- Now it's-- it's-- - Ridiculous.

I already had two dates for that dance.

Such popularity. What's your secret weapon?

Stupidity.

Listen to me. I think Jeff saved your neck.

You can't shake one Cook for the other, but...

here comes Jeff, and that's something else.

Hey, that's good thinking.

And Jeff is their ex-captain-- old teammates, buddy-boys.

Well, they wouldn't mind letting Jeff

take me. It would be a privilege.

Guys just love their old team captain.

Sure, that louse? I owe him a solid belt

in the teeth. Jeff? Your old team captain?

Yeah, my old team captain.

Why, he benched me through half of the big game last year...

on a couple of little penalties for roughness.

Why? Is there somethin' you wanted to know? Yeah.

When's the next moon shot?

And then he didn't want me for captain this year.

Well, that's okay. I don't hold any grudges. Why do you ask?

Well, I-- I think he's coming in for the dance this Saturday.

So... let him come

As long as he stays away from me-- well, you and me, right?

Right. What's the matter, Gidget? You don't look so good.

I don't feel so good. Hey, maybe you're catchin' the flu.

Oh, no. I couldn't be that lucky.

But I'll give it every chance.

[Gidget narrating] When fate is

growling, you can't make a right move.

If you want to be well, you'll be sick.

[whimpering] If you want to be sick, you'll be well.

But I figured that a human body can just take so much,

and there's nothing fate can do about that. [shuddering]

[yelps]

Gidget?

What in heaven's name are you doing? Just cooling myself off.

Your teeth are chattering. Well, I guess I'm getting there.

Have you lost your senses? Turn off that hose and come inside.

Trying to do, catch a cold?

You are trying to catch a cold.

I know what's troubling you, but do you

honestly think this is the solution?

And besides hurting yourself physically,

it's the worse thing you could do to yourself psychologically.

Give me-- [sputtering]

Worse than getting caught in a three-way

cross fire? You haven't been wounded yet.

Why wait till the last minute?

This is not self-destruction week,

so get upstairs and into some warm clothes. [shivering]

Look, put your fears aside and let your

mind go to work. You'll think of something.

Yeah. And it'll probably be the

finish of me. All you can do is try.

[Gidget narrating] Fate. I don't

even feel the beginning of a sneeze.

[shivering] I bet if I didn't want to be sick, I'd catch cold

brushing my teeth.

Fate. You can't beat it. The best

you can hope for is to outrace it.

That's it!

Wow!

Hey, that is really stokey.

But I'll be wearing a party dress.

So? Pull it up.

- Okay. How much? - Oh,11 bucks.

Eleven?

Well, Saturday night is overtime.

If I have to buzz you back home three times from Lincoln Hall,

my whole night is shot.

It's only twice. I come with the first

date and only go back for the second two.

- Same difference. Eleven bucks. - All right, you crook.

If you're gonna charge for the whole night,

you're gonna sit out there the whole night.

I may feel like driving around the

block about midnight. Suits me.

Fine. See you tomorrow night, 8:30 sharp.

Hey. Payment in advance.

I thought your type went out with black mustaches.

And if time and space can be squeezed

a little, I think I can swing it.

It's fabulous. You're practically

in the group with Albert Einstein.

You mean Rube Goldberg.

You know, it seems to me only a

real coward would take this route.

I think I oughta blow this whole jazzy scheme. Why don't you?

'Cause I'm a real coward. But a smart one.

Aw, what's so smart?

I've been waiting for Jeff to come home for ages,

and now look at the pickle I've gotten myself into.

That phone should ring in about 30 seconds.

It should? Mm-hmm. Jeff's plane landed about an hour ago.

Take some time to get from the airport to his house,

a little time with his family and-- [rings]

Hello? Jeff!

I've just been sitting on the phone counting the minutes.

Guess you're better than Einstein.

When can I see you?

I didn't get in till about half an hour ago.

The anniversary dinner's just starting, so

I guess I won't get to see you till tonight.

Jeff, I-I'm so excited that you're here,

I'm practically having a nervous breakdown.

- Still my steady girl? - Steady?

I'm as steady as a battleship,

even if there is a little squall every now and then.

Jeff, I-- I sure wish you were here all the time.

Well, so do I, Gidget-- to be with you anyway.

Well, a little's better than nothing.

Yeah, I'm looking forward anxiously to tonight.

I'm anxious too.

So, till then, Jeff.

Oh, uh, Jeff?

Jeff, um, the dance starts at 8:30,

so be here by 8:15 at the very latest.

Well, it's just that, um,

I don't want to miss one minute of the dance. Not one minute.

Yeah. Catch you later.

[chuckles] So long.

You're a credit to American female ingenuity.

I'm proposing a statue for the girls'

- locker room. - [Russ] Figure somethin' out?

Jeff picks her up at 8:15, Tate picks her up at 8:40,

and Corky picks her up at 9:00.

Between times, she pony expresses

back here on Jimmy Speer's motorcycle.

She's a genius.

Yeah. And at the dance?

I circulate. Why, don't you think it'll work?

If the Lord is on your side, all things are possible.

[sighs] Lately, he seems to be avoiding me.

Yeah. Me too. I got drafted this

morning onto the welcoming committee.

How is that for tragic irony?

She's being brought to the dance three

times, and I'm not even being brought once.

The welcoming committee.

The welcoming committee! Hallelujah!

I'm saved. I'm saved. I'm saved!

You're drafted off the welcoming committee. I'm drafted on.

Nobody has to take me to the dance.

I'm already there-- welcoming.

And when they show up here, Dad gives them the word,

and they all come to the dance nice and separate.

And I'm back in business-- no blood, no sweat, no tears.

Man, oh, man, I'm back on the sunny side!

♪ [rock]

♪ [continues]

[no Audible dialogue Gidget

Narrating] The way I had things timed,

I figured I was out of rough water.

First, Jeff would arrive.

[other girls greeting]

[continues narrating] But if there's anything...

about human beings you can rely on,

it's that you can't rely on them.

Hi, Corky. Thank you. They're beautiful.

How 'bout a dance? I'm busy.

Well, wh-when? Well, keep in touch.

[Gidget narrating] My schedule

said that Tate would arrive next,

which was no time to be dancing with Corky.

So I pushed that problem aside temporarily.

Bye.

Oh, I just love gardenias. [chuckles]

Oh. Hello, Gidget.

Hi, Jeff. Uh, let's go.

♪ [continues]

Excuse me. Pardon me.

[clears throat, chuckles] Away from the crowd.

Gee, Jeff, you look wonderful--

Just like a Princeton man.

Anyone could tell.

And you haven't changed a bit, Gidget.

You're as-- as perky and cute as ever.

Oh, for you. Oh.

Thank you. It's beautiful, Jeff.

I can't tell you how many times I think of you.

Yeah, I, uh, know what you mean.

I have your picture on my dresser.

I could give you a new one. Oh, fine.

I'll put it next to the old one.

That's at the beach with your surfboard.

I know. Well, look, I don't want to keep you from your chore,

but you don't have to do this much longer, do you?

Oh, no. Good, then let's get it over with, huh?

[Gidget narrating] I found out you can't wear three corsages...

separately and at the same time unless you have three chests.

But that was the least of my problems.

The dance was in full bloom.

The welcoming committee was out of business.

[no Audible dialogue] I had to give the first dance to my date.

And he-- I mean they-- I mean all of them--

Were getting impatient.

I had Larue rounding up retreads.

And to paraphrase a great American,

you can welcome some of the people some of the time...

and some of the people all of the time,

but you can't welcome all of the people all of the time.

There aren't any. [sighs] Disaster city.

What happens now? I split like an atom.

Into three parts? What else? [chuckles]

♪ [continues]

[Gidget narrating] How could I keep this up all night?

There was only one possible answer: I couldn't.

Oh, I'm beat. But not beaten. Not

yet. You've earned your stripes.

Why don't you say you're not feeling

well, ask them to take you home?

Yeah. I thought of that, too, but

I'll have to go home three times.

Oh, that's right.

I've still got Jimmy Speer and his cycle. He's waiting outside.

Tell him to go to my house and wait for me

in, a dark place. How can you get out of here?

Well, I sent Tate to the gym, and Corky

should be waiting out in front of the library.

What about Jeff? [sighs] Jeff's still here.

He'll be the last one. I've just gotta spend some time with Jeff.

[out of breath] Well, Gung ho.

[Gidget narrating] I felt phony as a drugstore diamond,

and, for a moment, my pride pushed me to tell all.

Fortunately, the moment passed.

[engine rumbling, sputtering, stops]

[motorcycle approaching]

[no Audible dialogue]

Hey!

[tires screech]

You are the weirdest thing the Cooks ever produced,

and that includes plenty of weirdos.

Never mind that jazz. What were you doing with Gidget?

Bringing her home. What's it to

you? My date you're bringing home?

Oh, man, you get weirder and weirder. How

could she be your date if she was my date?

There's more than one kooky Cook in this family.

How could she be your-- [motorcycle approaching]

That was Gidget. Heading back toward Lincoln Hall.

How do you know? Well, I-I think it's some kind of plot.

She's emptying out the joint one guy at a time.

♪ [slow]

Why does Princeton have to be in New Jersey?

Well, maybe it's a good thing. Distance lends enchantment.

Oh, no. When you're here, life is

a bowl of cream. [both chuckle]

♪ [ends] [applause]

[man] And now the traditional Founders' Day waltz.

Find your own escorts, please. [Jeff] What do you guys want?

[Tate] Well, this is the Founders' Day waltz, isn't it?

Yeah, that's right. So find your dates.

We found her. You found who?

Our date.

[stammering]

Do you want me to wait here, or go on

back to Lincoln Hall? Well, go home.

Hey, I'm also available weekdays.

I'll make you a better deal.

[groans]

[engine revs]

[Gidget narrating] I was through, washed up, finished.

That look on Jeff's face--

What's worse than a two-timer, except a three-timer.

I'd never see him again-- never see anyone again.

I'd move to a different town, leave my reputation behind.

Maybe I'd become a social worker, caring

for women who'd fallen by the wayside.

Somehow I fail to detect the sweet smell of success.

Oh, it can't be all that bad.

I was dancing with Jeff, and then--

And then suddenly total disaster,

public exposure, disgrace.

That's too bad, but you must've

been prepared for that possibility.

I had everything under control.

I just can't figure out what happened.

What happened was simple.

You tried to walk a crooked mile,

and you didn't make the distance.

Yeah. Few people do.

I think it's better in the long run you didn't get away with it.

How can you say that? Now I've lost Jeff forever.

He thinks I'm the biggest liar and cheat of the year. [sighs]

But what else could I do? I was

stuck before I even got his wire.

How could I ever tell him? Oh, easy. Just tell me.

Look, I don't dig it, Gidget.

You think I expected you to resign from

the human race when I left for school?

Look, we had an understanding.

I-- I figured you'd be going to parties and dating and dances.

What's the problem?

Well, I was thinking about you so much, Jeff, all the time.

I wanted you to know it. Now how could

you know it if I said, "I'm sorry, Jeff.

I can't go to the dance with you. I already have two dates"?

But I would've known. Wh-Why did I follow you home? I do know.

Oh, Jeff, all I wanted tonight was for us to be alone.

But fate was against me, and you can't

beat fate. No, the lucky ones can.

You did. Me? I'm fate's football.

Look what happened, when all I wanted was for us to be--

Alone. I know.

[chuckles] Sometime my brain goes

AWOL. Ah, Just a big dope, huh?

But I don't mind, long as I stay lucky.

[Gidget narrating] Well, Jeff flew

back to school and life went on,

but not as usual.

Something radical had happened.

Something inside had clicked over.

Boys no longer interested me. Books were all I cared about.

Jeff was the man-- the only man.

All others were mere faces in the crowd--

Units, digits, indistinguishable blobs.

Ooh! I'm sorry.

Please. That's okay. Thanks.

Aren't you in my biology lab? I really don't know.

I don't pay much attention to the

other students, especially the males.

Uh, what's your name? Frances Lawrence.

Sure. That's right. They call you Gidget.

Gidget, have you got a telephone at home? Naturally.

Uh, why don't you give me your number?

Maybe we can fix up a date sometime.

There's really no point. In the first place,

I don't date. And in the second place--

The number's in the book.