Original subtitles

Hello. Welcome to America.

Hi. Welcome to the United States.

Welcome to the United States of America.

Welcome to California and our

home, and I hope you have a ball.

[clears throat] No?

Well, it's a nice thought, but don't

you think it's a little elaborate?

Gunnar Malstrom has been in business

in San Francisco for nearly two years.

Okay, but, basically, he's from abroad,

and Inge's never been here before, so I--

All right. Have it your own way. [doorbell rings]

Oh, my gosh.

Gunnar. Good to see you. Come in.

My daughter Frances. Gidge, Gunnar Malstrom.

Hi. Welcome to the United States.

I only come down from San Francisco.

But I thank you.

Oh, you're welcome. I mean, uh-- You're welcome!

[clears throat] Where's Inge?

Inge.

Oh.

Inge, Professor. Miss Lawrence.

Inge. I am honored.

And? Gidget. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Is this all you brought for a whole year at college?

Inge has simple tastes.

Good to have you here, Inge. How is your father?

Professor Lindner is in excellent health.

And he wishes to thank you for your hospitality to Inge.

- I also thank you. - Ah, we're delighted.

I'm only sorry it's to be for such a short time.

You are kind. Inge shall be no trouble.

I have provided her with a schedule of studies:

English, basic economics, international

law, United States history.

What'll she do for the rest of the week?

It sounds severe, perhaps, but Inge is in America to work.

Well, she doesn't have to start right now.

Come on in. Have some coffee. Oh, as am I.

So, now back to San Francisco.

The import-export business is very demanding.

But I shall return in a week when Inge enters the university.

You have the schedule and reading list? Ja, Gunnar.

Remember, emphasize economics and international law.

These are basic. Ja, Gunnar.

Good. Inge and I are not yet formally engaged,

but we plan for the future.

I regard these studies as

necessary for my wife. Yes, Gunnar.

Until next week then. Professor. Miss Lawrence.

toodles. Gunnar.

Is not Gunnar admirably efficient?

Admirably. The guest room's upstairs on the left, Inge.

If you'd care to freshen up, we'll have something to eat.

Oh. Well, if you don't mind, I

think I begin my studies at once.

Of course.

Oh, here, let me help you. Oh, no, no.

Gunnar says I must be no trouble at all.

But I want to thank you very much.

I'm-- I'm very happy to be here.

Upstair-- On the left.

I bet you I know what Gunnar exports and imports.

Yeah? What? Slaves.

♪ [jazzy pop]

♪ If you're in doubt about angels ♪

♪ Being real

♪ I can arrange to change

♪ Any doubts you feel

♪ Wait till you see my Gidget ♪

♪ You'll want her for your valentine ♪

♪ You're gonna say she's all that you adore ♪

♪ But stay away Gidget is spoken for ♪

♪ You're gonna find that Gidget is ♪

♪ Mine ♪

No. Absolutely no more.

Are they too heavy? They aren't too heavy. [chuckles]

I consider that innuendo low, sneaky... and all too accurate.

I'll try to walk it off.

Inge, would you take it easy today? Enough is enough.

Well, Gunnar says I must do my part.

Oh, sure. Big Gunnar is watching you.

Gidget, in this house I deliver the lectures.

Just see that Inge enjoys herself, or else.

Oh, I am enjoying myself.

And when I get finished cleaning,

I will begin my studies.

Gidget can explain to me about

United States history. Good idea.

Just remember, Gidge, American

history does not include the Crusades.

Oh, sure, Daddy. Um, I'll start with Abraham Lincoln.

He freed the slaves. Gidget.

Your papa is a lovely man. It's a fact.

My papa's lovely, too, but he's very strict.

"Inge. To be a woman is to be useful--

To cook, to clean, to be a help."

Yeah. "Help" is the word.

Pardon.

I mean, don't you ever wanna have fun--

Go out with boys, go dancing, go surfing?

Sometimes, but... that's all decided.

Well, fight back. U.S. history starts with a revolution.

No taxation without representation.

If this is gonna be a day for speeches, I'm gonna split.

Fine. But before you go, say hi to a visitor from Sweden.

Inge, Mark Manning. Mark, Inge Lindner.

She's staying with us until the dorms at UCLA open next week.

Hi, Inge. It's a plea-- Oh!

I'm so sorry. Excuse me. It's okay.

[chuckles] She's a little shy.

Yeah. Clean though. I like a clean girl.

Which reminds me, the surf's up.

- That's an invitation. - Accepted. I'll go tell Inge.

Why not? It's a big ocean. I guess

there's always room for one more guppy.

Move like the wild wind. I'll be back in half an hour.

Gidget, it's only that I cannot.

But, Inge, it will be fun. And I'll loan you one of my suits.

Oh, thank you. I have my own.

But I have also to finish this studying.

I'll read here in the sunshine.

Inge, tell me truthfully. Are you shy with boys?

Well, ja, a little.

I have known Gunnar almost all of my life.

Well, otherwise-- My father's very strict.

But you've nothing to be shy about.

As a matter of fact-- what with this and that--

You make me feel kinda shy.

You? Oh, no, Gidget.

You are... a constant surprise to me.

You are so self-assured, like with that boy in the kitchen.

Mark? Oh, he's shaping up nicely.

I used to be shy, too, but I outgrew it.

When? On my 11th birthday.

I said to myself, "Gidget, you're going

to be a woman eventually. Why not now?"

And then I went out and found a boy

I had a fight with that morning.

I told him how strong he was.

He just about passed out.

And then he gave me his pet worm.

And from that day on, I never looked back--

Except to make sure that somebody was following.

But somebody is already following me-- Gunnar,

who expects I will be finished with this schedule.

So, no swimming. [sighs]

Doesn't Gunnar even approve of exercise? Oh, ja.

So, swimming and volley ball and surfing--

What do you call them? Fun.

Oh, waste. But he does approve of...

"calisthetics"?

Ja. What you call a, uh, Swedish jerk.

[Gidget narrating] Swedish jerks.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

My work was cut out for me.

Instead of knee bends to Gunnar,

what Inge needed, but fastest, was exercise in swinging.

Being a seasoned practitioner of the

"never take no for an answer" philosophy,

I overwhelmed Inge's reluctance with simple scientific logic.

Everyone knows that reading light is best at sea level.

Oh. Now, you must let me carry my things.

No, no. Uh-uh. Oh, but I insist.

- Inge. [whistles] - What?

- Oh. - Inge, no.

No? No.

Well, I can carry my own books. I am healthy.

Oh, they've noticed that.

Inge, in America, everybody is equal.

But frankly, just to survive,

a girl's gotta be equal to at least three boys.

Three boys? Let's start with basics.

You hungry? Oh, ja.

Okay. I'm a boy. Mm.

[clears throat] Ask me about getting something to eat.

Could you please tell me where I could find something to eat?

Oh, but I brought no money.

No. Look.

Just do this, exactly, and say--

[yawns] I'm starved.

Okay? Ah.

Okay.

Oh. I'm starving.

[Gidget narrating] And that was when

Inge began to learn the difference...

between being a girl and being a woman.

Oh.

As a matter of fact, she learned awfully fast.

As a matter of fact, almost too fast.

As the saying goes-- hands across the sea...

and into my wardrobe.

It's beautiful. I only hope it will fit.

♪ [rock Gidget narrating] It fit. Oh, boy, did it fit.

As a matter of fact, I sort of wished it fit me like that.

You know, Gidget, I think I

learned something about myself...

and something about Gunnar.

What?

[phone rings]

Who could it be at this hour?

Hello?

Inge? I'll see.

It's for you. It's Ben. What is it?

He didn't say, but judging from the

drooling sounds, he wants a date.

What do I say? I don't know.

The important thing is to keep 'im off-balance.

If you don't wanna say yes, say maybe. But never say no.

And tell him you'll meet him on the beach tomorrow... maybe.

Hello? Ben?

Ja? Well, uh, perhaps I see you on the beach tomorrow... maybe.

Well, perhaps today.

Yes, Terry.

Yes, of course. It will be fun.

Well, of course I'm sure.

Ja. Tonight. It will be delightful, Mark.

Mark?

[Gidget narrating] Mark-- as in my boyfriend.

So to speak.

All this for a picnic? We gotta make

sure we have enough for everybody.

For Arthur and Ben and Stanley and Terry.

And don't forget good old Mark.

Inge, I'd like to talk to you, woman-to-woman. Mm?

I've been noticing, the last couple of days,

you haven't gotten much studying done. None.

Gunnar will be mad. Absolutely. He will "flap."

"Flip"? Flip.

He's not the only one.

As a matter of fact, I've been noticing you and Mark lately.

Well, in honest truth, Gidget, I do not know what I must do.

Mark is very attractive, but, truly, he is yours.

[sighs] Well, I don't have a lock on him.

Mm. He is attentive and polite.

But I do not know what I must do if he throws himself toward me.

Wh-- Oh, Gidget, you are so generous.

I am? Ja. And so understanding.

Will you watch this for a minute? Where you going?

I'm going to change. Change?

Hi, Gidge.

Uh, "Hi, Gidge" what?

Where's everybody else? Uh, waiting out front.

Dressed like that? Well, not exactly.

Why do I have the feeling there's

something about this picnic I don't know?

Actually, Gidget, it will be a very nice picnic.

But you will be surprised to know that I have

never been to an American amusement park.

Surprised? I'm flabbergasted.

But I'm beginning to get the point of the message.

So, you will go on to the picnic with the others,

and Mark will do this nice thing for me.

He's such a gentleman.

Like you said, Gidge, she is a visitor from Sweden.

You know, we do want to make her feel at home.

Right? Have fun.

[Gidget narrating] "Welcome to America."

Some dope probably said that to the Japanese beetle.

[Gidget narrating] The articles

of the Geneva Convention...

suggest arbitration to avoid hostilities.

And I was feeling pretty hostile.

Inge was invading my territory,

using weapons supplied my me.

It was definitely time to seek

mature advice, counsel and... help.

Gidge, you're exaggerating.

But leave it to me. I'll have a little talk with Inge.

It is so nice of you to speak with me...

when I know you are busy with many important things.

Well-- [chuckles]

Oh, no. Please, let me.

You know, it is so surprising.

You are such an important man-- a professor--

And still so very... young, and yet--

Oh, how do you say? A-- A swinger.

[coughs] Yes, well--

Well, I, uh-- I hear you're enjoying yourself.

Oh, yes. Everyone has been absolutely wonderful.

And Gidget is a darling.

She even lets her boyfriend take me out.

She is a true friend.

Her boyfriend, Mark Manning? Ja.

Mark is very sweet. Perhaps a little young.

I wish he were a little bit more mature.

I have a weakness for mature men.

But, again, I must not keep you.

I thank you, Professor. [mouthing words]

Uh-huh. Don't tell me.

She just floated by on a cloud of Powers of Persuasion No. 9.

[chuckling] Who could have imagined?

[scoffs] She's probably just having a fling.

It won't last long, I hope.

It doesn't have to.

An atom bomb blows up in one-millionth of a second.

I figure old Gunnar will break that record.

He's coming back tomorrow. I'd forgotten.

Poor Gunnar... and poor Inge.

Hey. If anybody needs an antipoverty program, it's me.

"Poor Inge." [exclaims]

Well, Herr Doktor,

you're the one who instigated this

noble experiment in emancipation.

And it just backfired.

I am afraid that the new Inge is

on a collision course with Gunnar.

I can sympathize with your problem.

But remember, Gunnar left a quiet,

studious girl here last week.

Now-- You're about to say something?

No. I--

I mean, do I have an idea.

Gidget? Oh, nothing violent.

Just a nice, quiet evening at home...

with Gunnar and Inge and Mark and me.

Why, Mr. Malstrom. Right on time.

I believe in punctuality, Miss Lawrence.

Where is Inge? She's upstairs getting all dressed up for you.

You know, she's told me so much about you.

I feel as if I really know you, Gunnar.

Really? She has?

Oh, yes. And I think it's just

wonderful the way you came to America.

And your business.

I didn't know Inge was interested.

Well, actually, I'm the one who's interested.

Business is such a man's world.

I don't understand it, but I think your work is fascinating.

Why, I thank you.

And I'd just love to hear all about it.

Vad ar det, Inge?

- Do you like it, Gunnar? - No. What is this?

It's just me having fun.

Fun?

[doorbell rings]

Oh, hi, Mark. Come on in. Hi.

Uh, Mark, I'd like you to meet Gunnar Malstrom.

Gunnar, Mark Manning. I'm glad to meet you.

You two should have a lot in common.

Mark is going to study business administration.

Oh, please, let's not talk about business.

Such a boring thing to talk about.

Oh, I think it's fascinating.

Besides, what's more important than

a man's lifework? Yeah. That's right.

Why don't you all get acquainted? I'll get dinner.

It was a delicious meal.

Yeah, Gidge. I didn't know you knew.

Well, I think a woman should really know how to be a woman.

But anyway, tell me more about

the international trade festival.

- You are really interested? - Oh, yes.

International trade is the businessman's

approach to international unity,

and its strengths derive from its basic economic vector.

- Right? - Right.

You know, we discussed that in the course last week.

Cannot we talk about something else?

Business bores me so.

Inge, it is my future-- our future.

I am interested in what is happening

right now, which is not much.

Why don't we go somewhere?

Oh, no. Let's just stay home.

Dad won't be back till after the meeting.

Let's play some records and dance or something. Fine.

Gunnar, I have learned how to do all the new dances.

♪ [orchestra: slow] What is that?

Well, I thought we could try something

different, something quieter.

- A waltz? - Why not?

- Gunnar, do you mind? - Not at all.

♪ [stops] I hate waltzes.

Oh. Well, let's make a deal.

You play a record. Then I'll pick

one. We'll sort of take turns.

♪ [rock] Gunnar, will you dance with me?

To that?

Uh, go on, Mark. Mark's a fantastic dancer.

Um, I'll just clear the things.

I can manage by myself.

Mm! That's okay, Inge. Don't move a muscle.

I can manage. You dance.

[sighs]

♪ [continues]

♪ [stops] That was good. Crazy.

♪ [waltz]

A waltz? Oh, I--

May I cut in?

Will you dance with me, Inge? No. I do not like this music.

Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I've got some dishes to do anyway.

You all enjoy yourselves.

[Mark]... Come on! [Gunnar] Oh! Gidget!

[shouting, laughing Gidget] How do you like that?

[laughing] Stop that soap!

You want to help, Inge?

No. I want to talk to you.

As soon as we finish. Just wait.

Wait? I am not something that you own--

To wait for you humbly until you have time for me.

She's right, Gunnar. Go ahead. I can finish.

Absolutely not.

You stay out of this, Gidget. I'm sorry.

Inge, apologize.

To her? I shall not.

That's okay. I understand. You do not understand.

I will apologize to her if I want to, but I do not want to.

Mark, I would like to go out now.

[scoffs] You go right ahead, Inge.

What? Inge.

You are acting like child.

I apologize for Inge.

[loud crash] [shouts]

Please.

Let me talk to her. Alone.

Inge.

I wish to say one thing only. I am ashamed of you.

[crying] And I have one thing to say to you, Gunnar Malstrom.

I will not marry you.

Inge. When I first saw you, you were...

the most beautiful thing on earth... to me.

- But you were a child. - Just like Papa.

"Inge. Study, work, learn." [sniffles]

Well, I want to have a little fun.

Of course. But is that all?

Inge, I want a woman for a wife,

not a child who wants only to have fun.

Look at Gidget.

She's quiet, pleasant, thoughtful.

- And I am not? - Exactly.

You are not.

You are a spoiled child. No more. Gunnar!

[spanking] [crying, screaming] Gunnar!

Relax. It's therapy time.

Now you will be reasonable? No!

Ow! Gunnar!

All right. Now we will talk.

Ja, Gunnar. [sniffling]

And you will listen... quietly.

Ja, Gunnar.

I think we'd better leave for a while.

Yes, Mark. Yeah.

Look at that.

No pride.

What, Inge?

Well, I think she's right, and I like it.

You somethin', Gidge? The other

night, I sort of saw you differently.

You were quieter, you know? More feminine.

And I liked that too. Oh, yeah?

I mean, you used to come on full of plans--

The "take charge" girl-- but no more.

I mean, a guy likes to feel that he's out with a girl,

not-- not a platoon sergeant.

Whatever you say, Mark. Yeah.

A man has to be boss.

[grunting] Yeah. You're right.

You're the boss, mark.

[Gidget narrating] And that was when I realized

I'd set back women's rights a hundred years--

Exactly where they belonged.