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Morning Odie. Morning Odie.

Here you go, boy.

Ah.

Well, I guess I'll go shower and shave.

Thanks for sharing thatwithme

Yes folks, this is my life.

While it may look vitalandstimul

That's because Jon's a dork.

He really needs to get alife, and

to help him find one. Why?

Because Jon's my friend, andl'dd

anything to help my friend, nomat

Unless of course, there'ssomethin

Ah, time for my favoriteshow, Yuk

This week, Yukon Stinkyinsultsa

Can't miss that. Eh, Jon's life can wait.

Well, Stinky, I guessthiscase

Give em heck, Stinky.

This is WBOR, the all

national anthem, all thetimechan

Next, by popular demand, theCanad

And, if you're notcompletelys

Ajax nose hair tweezers,

we'll refund all yourtweezednose

Take that.

And that.

And that!>> Oh.

And that. If it's not toomuch

And if you don't mind!

That should beenoughstimulati

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,

7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

141, 142, 143, 144.

Garfield, did you knowthebedroom

The living room has 214.

I'm bored.

Why don't you organizeyoursoc

I'd organize my sockdrawer, bu

it last night.>> I'll be thejudg

Whoa, I'm impressed.

All nicely tucked and sorted, byc

These are the winter socks.

The summer ones are in theotherd

Here we have your naturalfiberso

Here's your man made fibersocks.

And of course, here you'vegotyou

You know what, Garfield? You need a life.

I need a life >> Yep.

There's more to life, thansock

There's underwear.>> There'sa

there beyond the sockdrawer, and

Nice touch.

Haven't you got a life yet?

What are you waiting for?

Do I have to doeverythingaround

How to make friends, andfoolt

Obviously, a book on sincerity.

I forgot, I had this book.

Hey, this chapter ongettingdates

Great, read it and give meafu

The sooner you get happywithyour

the sooner I can get backtomine.

Humans, never satisfied.

If only they'd learn to be

content with the simplethingsin

Like lasagna, a good nap,

family, dog breath.

It says here, a singlesclubis

the ticket, for a happening kind of guy like me. Let's get to work.

Whatever.

Hey there, would you liketoda

Sure, why not.

Yes, yes. Did you hear that, Ga

She wants to dance with me.

It's a miracle.

Come my dear, let's cut arug.

Hey jerk, disco is dead.>>Wha

When?

Boy, you learn to dance, then

zango, 14 years, latertheychange

Go figure.

It says here, a laundromatisa

Looks like a great placetotak

Clean chicks. Pardon me, I couldn't

help but notice yourfrillylittle

Are you a ballerina?

Why, yes I am.

And I couldn't help butnotice, yo

Are you a dweeb?

Why, yes he is.

It says, here a video store

is a great place to meet chicks.

Can we get Old Yeller?

I love movies with happy endings.

Interested in checking outali

Will you be rentingthattape,

No, he'll be eating ithere.

Pardon me ladies.

I seem to have lost my

Olympic swimming medalsaroundher

I might have lost themoverthere

I just can't remember.

Oh well, I think I'll dosomepush

Out of my way creep, oops.

Nice going, Jon. Here weare, t

life and all you canthinkabout,

So, as I was saying to myself

when I saw you standingthere, thi

a chick er, lady ofdistinctionan

taste, to be shopping in such an expensive store.

Did I tell you, what lovely eyes you have?

And by the way, I wanna thank you

for listening to me this long, without hitting

me or shoving anything in my mouth.

That means a lot to me, itreally

Hey, I tell you what.

Let's get out of this place, and

grab a cup of coffeesomewhere, ok

This way, my lady.

Oh, let's give him a hand for trying.

Huh, this may come as a surprise to you

Garfield, but I'm just notverygo

No, go on. You're putting me on.

Hello there.

Don't flatter yourself.>>Stri

Maybe, I oughta just

forget about meetinganyone, ever.

Maybe, I'll become a nun.

As long as it gets you out of the house.

Hi there.

Take a hike.

No thanks, I just took one.

Strike two. What is it Garfield?

Is it my breath, my looks, mypers

Why can't I, yo there.

Buzz off.

Buzz. Strike three.

Yes sirree bob.

It times like this, I sitsbackan

Oh no. And when a man feels this

blue, he's just got to getitout.

He's gonna sing.>> A man'sjus

And I thought thatpeoplewere

And now, this word fromourspo

Friends, are youlonely, bored,

Is your idea of a funSaturdaynig

sitting home, watchingtelevision

Are you so boring, thatyoucould

Are you so out of touch, youthink

Have you ever passed timebycount

Compared to you, does aslugseem

Well friend. If this is you, cheer

There's help for you attheLorenz

for the Personalitylmpaired. That

At Lorenzo School forthePersonal

can show you how to get a life.

We can take, even the most under

interesting and tiresomebore, and

someone vital, energeticandself

We'll show you how tomakefriends

How to make good music, howtomak

first impressions, how todoimpre

And at Lorenzo's School forthePe

we've got a proven track record.

I thought I'd never have

a personality, but after only 14 weeks

at Lorenzo's School forthePerson

I now have a great personality.

Six months ago, I wasaschool

crossing the street was my life.

Now thanks to Lorenzo'sSchoolfor

Personality Impaired, I amabull

And why am I carryingthisstick,

Why, that's to keep thewomenaway

I wonder if they couldhelpme.

Remember, friend, atLorenzo'sSch

for the Personality Impaired

our motto is, if you can getapul

Well, maybe they'll takeyouan

Hello, hello, welcome to

Lorenzo's School for the Personality Impaired.

May I help you?

Uh, yes, I'm here to getalife

I mean, I have a life, butit'sbo

Well it's, it's not thatit'sbori

I just, I just don'thaveanything

interesting going on. Uh, notatt

Not that I couldn't ofcourse, you

I'm kinda in-between.>> Yes, I

Well, we'll just start yourighto

in room 1A, that's how to make

a good first impression.

Down the hall, first dooronyour

Have a nice life.

I'd settle for a nice lunch.

I wonder if this is theplace.

104

25

Yeah. This is the place.

How do you do? My name is Lorenzo.

And what is your name? Jon, Jon Arbuckle.

And this is my, are you

uh, the Lorenzo inthecommercial?

In person.

Gee, on TV you sounded so, so.

So what? So alive.

Oh ha, that was lip syncyoukn

My body, CharlestonHeston'svoice

Its a, its theatricalthing, it's

I see.

Onward and upward, shallwe?

Have a seat Mr., Airbuckle? Goodm

Welcome to the Lorenzo School,

for the Personality Impairedlnc.

Remember our motto is, if youcan

get a pulse, you can get a life.

So the first thing we'regoingto

this morning, is checkourselvesf

If you don't have one, pleaserais

Oh my, I see we have several.

Well uh, keep your hands upinthe

able assistant, Priscilla, willco

and give you a second opinion.

The first step to becomingavital

is to make a good first impression.

Now, how do I do that, youmighta

Well, I'll tell you how Idothat,

You do that by walking rightupto

looking them right in theeye,

giving them a firm handshake, and

saying, hello, my name is soands

Everyone, turn to thepersonnext

you and give it a try, now.

Hello, my name is so and so.

Hello, my name is Jon.>> Hi, I

Hello, my name is Garfield, you probably

noticed I'm quite short andhavee

Was that okay? Was what okay?

My first impression, Ireally

have no idea what I'm doing.

Oh, good.

Huh? Neither do I.

How was mine? Your what?

My first impression.

Oh, fine! I guess.

You guess? I knew it!>> What?

I have something betweenmytee

Oh no, no, your teetharefine!

See?

See what?>> I'm blowing it!

I'm making a lousy first impression.

No, you're not! I guess.

Yeah, what do we know.

The second part oftoday'sless

is learning to dress for success.

Huh, I'm naked.

In all modesty, Imustconfess,

in some circles I amconsidereda

if you will.

Let me share a few of myfashions

Rule number one, notice how I've

coordinated my pocketprotectorwi

Well, my left one, at any rate.

When it comes to color, Ithinksa

Your ensemble should behavevirtu

for the eyes.

Notice how I've accented

my green tweet slacks with this

plaid jacket and this stringtie.

Why do I have thissuddenurge,

Nothing impressespeoplemore,

when you speak in aforeignlangua

Say for instance, Canadian.

Now, this is an easy languagetol

You just talk like younormallywo

except occasionally, youthrowin

Example, I'm going to town, eh.

I am going to town, eh.

Great, let's all go totown, eh

Maybe we can have some lunch, eh?

I was so shy in gym class,

I had my sister take myshowersfo

I was so shy, Ialmoststarved

because Ididn't tell my dad Iwas

You're not shy.

Oh yes I am.>> No, you'renot.

You're like that guy onthebeach

Uh, what guy? Oh, just some guy.

He was walking aroundflexinghis

looking for his Olympicswimmingm

You don't really havetolearn

language, if you can soundlikeyo

People are really impressedifyou

or if you can sound like, youspea

Example.

Oh. Very impressive, no?

You know, I've had just

about enough sophisticationforon

How about you?

Hey you, Monsieur dumbguy, rem

What am I, chopped liver? Duckpat

Foie gras?

Why am I getting so hungry?

That's a funny story.

Oh, it's been awonderfulday,

Class was great and dinnerwasfun

But most of all, Ireallyenjoyed

Until I met you, I thought Iwast

in the world, to get mytonguecau

And we didn't even havetospea

What? Think about it.

We had a wonderfuleveningwithout

rely on anything, we learnedincl

You mean, we can be ourselves

and still have a good time?

Mm-hm. It's a theoryworthpurs

What a concept.

I know, I've been workingsoha

to be what I thoughtotherpeople

I almost forgot, who I was.

Well, I'm glad I met theyou, y

Huh, I was fresh out ofotherm

Do you know, I've neverbeenable

to anyone like thisbefore, other

Other than my cat, thatis.

My cat.

Yesterday, I had aname. Yesterday

buddy, his confidant, todayl'mhi

I can't believe it.

Jon's actually met someonewholik

him, and it's not evenhismother.

What's this world coming to?

Who would have guessed?

Oh no. Poor Jon!

He doesn't know, whathe'sgetting

I must stop him, beforehemultipl

Then in my senior year, Iwasv

most likely, to sit aroundthehou

And then, Garfield, what areyoud

Let go of her, Jon.

Who knows where that handhasbeen

What a sweet cat!

Don't listen to herJon, she's

to get to you, through me

Would you like me toscratchbe

Oh that's good, she'sverysmar

Once she has me in herclutchessh

just a little bit behindthisear.

Jon listen carefully, it's alla.

Just a little lower, this isalla

get you to oh, yes there ah,

oh, yeah, yeah.

Excuse me.

You okay?

Oh, I'm fine really it's, it's

just that I'm, I'm allergictocat

Oh. For a minute there, Ithoug

you said you were allergictocats

I am. I. Oh no.

Aw, too bad. What a shame.

She was so cute, and such agoode

Well, come along, Jon, saygoodbye

It's time to fix dinner. This is terrible!

I, I'm sorry, Jon.

Can't you take shots foryoura

They don't do me any good.

What can I do?

You can chuck her onthechin,

been nice knowing you, kid, andse

What if I shaved my cat?

Hey, ho, hi, time out! Jon, wha

Oh, Mona, you are so sweet.

We could really havebeensomethin

There's something to besaid, f

Can we still see each other sometime, Jon?

I'd like that. Good.

Not without a chaperon, youwon

Jon's more than just a friendtom

Come on. I'll take you home.

Hang on.

Wait for me. You're notleavingme

There's more than one waytoskin

So to speak.

I saw this on a freeway once.

I'm sorry I'm allergictoyour

I'm sorry for us. I like you Mona.

I like myself, when I'mwithyo

What? Mercy

No. That's Merci Bocu, >>Merci

No, Jon.