Original subtitles

I am Austimus!

I am Dezimus!

And I...

Am putting these away-imus.

Before they break-imus.

Because, trust me, you cannot afford-imus.

Wow! You speak really good gladiator.

Guess who got a job at the mall customer service.

Congrats. What do you have to do?

I have to take calls from angry customers complaining about bad service.

Mall customer service.

Oh, I'm sorry

that salespeople always keep you waiting.

Please hold.

Who do they call when they want to complain about you?

Me. That's the beauty of this job.

- How's the new song coming? - It still needs a lot of work.

- We don't have a second... - Great, I booked Austin

on The Wanda Watson Show this week.

That's awesome, Trish!

Wanda Watson's my favorite talk show.

Last week she and Tom Hanks made gift bags out of old socks.

Ewww!

Hey, Trish, jerk alert. Your ex-boyfriend just walked in.

Hey, guys. Hey, Trish.

Trent, for the last time, I'm tired of listening to your apologies.

Well, then you don't have to listen. Just... read.

"I'm

sorry

that... "okay, this is gonna take forever.

Wait, please. Just read it.

"I pretended to be your boyfriend just to become

Austin's backup dancer and I had another girlfriend the entire time..."

This is ridiculous.

Why should Trish accept your t-shirt apology?

Sure, it's clever and adorable

and sweet and kind of romantic.

- Ally. - Yeah.

Look, okay, the point is I'm sorry.

So what do you say?

Will you wear this "apology accepted" hoodie?

Does that answer your question?

Trent, get your t-shirts and your hoodie

and get outta here.

Yeah, get your t-shirts and get out of here.

♪ When the crowd wants more I bring on the thunder ♪

♪ 'Cause you got my back And I'm not going under ♪

♪ You're my point, you're my guard ♪ You're the perfect chord ♪

♪ And I see our names together On every billboard ♪

♪ Headed for the top Got it on lock ♪

♪ We'll make 'em say "Hey!" ♪

♪ And we'll keep rocking ♪

♪ Oh, there's no way I can make it without you ♪

♪ Do it without you Be here without you ♪

♪ It's no fun When you're doing it solo ♪

♪ With you it's like, "Whoa" Yeah, and I know ♪

♪ I own this dream ♪

♪ 'Cause I got you with me ♪

♪ There's no way I can make it without you ♪

♪ Do it without you Be here without you ♪

♪ Whatever it is, I got it ♪

♪ Don't know what to call it ♪

♪ There's no way to hide it Yeah, I got it, too ♪

♪ Whatever it is, I got it ♪

♪ Don't know what to call it ♪

♪ There's no way around it Yeah, I got it, too ♪

♪ Whoa! Yeah, I got it, too ♪

♪ Whoa! ♪

♪ Girl, you got it, too ♪

♪ Whoa! Yeah, I got it, too ♪

♪ Whoa! Girl, you got it, too ♪

♪ Whoa! ♪

Man, another great song, Ally.

You're the best songwriter in the biz.

I wouldn't say I'm the best,

but you can.

I'll say it. That song is great.

How long have you been standing there?

Long enough to know that that is a great song.

Look, I know there are no shortcuts to making it.

So I was hoping Ally would write me a song

to make me an overnight sensation.

Why would I help you? You hurt my best friend.

Yeah, buh-bye.

I said I was sorry.

Don't you believe in second chances?

Of course I do.

Well, I don't.

So again, buh-bye.

Austin, I gave you a second chance

when you kind of stole my song.

Austin stole your song?

She said "kind of." It was an accident.

And I'm glad I forgave you

because look how awesome it turned out.

It turned out awesome because I'm awesome-us.

But he's jerk-imus.

I believe everyone's born with a seed of goodness,

and if you water it with kindness and trust,

it will blossom into something beautiful.

Huh.

I never thought of it like that.

You guys are really inspiring.

In fact, I don't even need your help anymore.

A song just came to me. Thanks.

See what just happened there?

Austin, I think we made a difference today.

- Trish, what are... - Excuse me.

Mall customer service, what's your complaint?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Well, I can assure you,

Trish from the nail salon was fired last week.

So, Trish, as you know, since Austin became famous,

he and I have been working on his line of celebrity products.

Austin cell phone case.

Austin disposable wipes.

Austin toothbrush.

Electric and manual.

But we're still trying to perfect Austin's signature fragrance.

- We call this one "Manly." - Hmm.

It smells like nacho cheese and dirty socks.

Exactly! The two most manly smells we could think of.

Eww. What else you got?

Check out this sweet puppy.

Eww!

It smells like honey and wet dog.

Exactly, that's why we call it "Sweet Puppy."

What up?

Come on, Austin. We have some important business to take care of.

Let me guess. You want me to sing to the girl at zinga juice

so you can get a free smoothie.

No, I want you to sing to the girl at the movie theater

so I can get some free tickets. Let's go.

- Hello, Dez. - Ooh.

Uh... I don't think I'm supposed to be talking to you.

I just want to say, after Austin, Ally, and Trish,

you are the most important person on team Austin.

Why, thank you.

You're welcome, and I think you're an amazing director.

I love what you did in this video.

♪ They wanna know-know-know Your name-name-name ♪

♪ They want the girl-girl-girl... ♪

Well, I'll let you in on a little secret.

There weren't really five Austins.

No.

So how'd you get the effect?

I'm not just gonna tell you my secret technique.

You never know who might be listening.

I'll whisper it to you.

Hey, Dez, here's those sweaty gym socks you wanted.

Ah.

You making more Cologne for Austin?

Nope, gift bags.

♪ Whatever it is, I got it ♪

♪ Don't know what to call it ♪

♪ Ain't no way to hide it, girl... ♪

Mr. Conley, where did you hear that song?

- It's all over the Internet. - The Internet?

That place where people go on their computers

- to look up stuff and... - I know what the Internet is!

How did our song get online?

It hasn't even been released yet.

It's not Austin's song. It's by this new artist T-Fame.

I'm thinking about doing a cover of it for my reggae band.

You're in a reggae band?

There's a lot of things about me you don't know.

♪ Whatever it is, I got it ♪

♪ Don't know what to call it... ♪

Who's T-Fame and how'd he get our song?

♪ Whatever it is, I got it ♪

♪ Don't know what to call it... ♪

Excuse me. Can I borrow that for a second?

♪ Yeah, I got it, too ♪

♪ Whatever it is, I got it ♪

♪ Don't know what to call it ♪

♪ There's no way to hide it

♪ Yeah, I got it, too ♪

♪ Whatever it is, I got it ♪

♪ Don't know what to call it... ♪

T-Fame is Trent.

He stole our song.

And he totally copied the "Double Take" video.

You know, I'm starting to think we can't trust that guy.

I can't believe that jerk Trent stole my song.

I'm never gonna trust anyone again.

You can always trust me.

Can I, Austin? Can I?

And how did he pull off the video?

It's exactly the same as "Double Take."

Somebody must have told him the secret technique.

We'll probably never know who it was.

Okay, I did it! You broke me. I'm so ashamed.

I was gonna sing that song on The Wanda Watson Show.

I hate that guy.

Forget about Trent, or "T-Lame," or whatever he's calling himself.

He can't write his own songs,

and he's not as talented as Austin.

Trust me. He's a flash in the pan.

T-Fame is no flash in the pan.

His meteoric rise resembles that

of another overnight sensation, Austin Moon.

I sat down with T-Fame to ask him,

"Is there a new pop star rivalry brewing?"

Is there a new pop star rivalry brewing?

Uh... Well...

T-Fame doesn't really like to start any rumors,

but yeah, it's on.

Stay smooth.

Whoa! Did you guys hear the rumor?

Austin and T-Fame have a rivalry.

There is no rivalry. He just made it up.

This is crazy. It's like he's copying my whole life.

Well, I wouldn't go that far.

'Sup, losers?

Meet T-Fame's new best bud Dex.

- What up? - Two fingers.

He's totally copying my life!

You didn't even do the "what up" right, Trent.

Hey, it's T-Fame.

No, it's Trent.

Hey, chill, man.

Stay smooth.

There's two of him?

This is my worst nightmare.

You're not gonna get away with this, Trent.

I already did.

And it's T-Fame now, okay?

Capital "t," capital "f."

It should be capital "t" for thief.

- You stole my song. - Hey, Austin stole your song, too.

- It was an accident. - An accident?

Okay, well, then mine was an accident, too.

I accidentally stole the cd.

I accidentally shot a music video,

and I accidentally... ooh!

Made it a big hit. My bad.

I knew you couldn't be trusted.

I'm not a pushover like... some people.

Or a sucker like

other people.

Or a dimwit like... Dez.

Ha! She called you a sucker.

This ends now, Trent.

I'm gonna go online and tell all my fans what a fake you are.

This feud is officially over.

This feud is officially on.

Austin Moon has accused T-Fame of musical thievery.

Sounds like someone is jealous.

And by someone, I mean Austin Moon.

We have a new "crybaby of the week."

I'm not a crybaby.

I can't believe the post to your fans backfired.

You can clear things up when you go on The Wanda Watson Show.

It'll just be you and her.

Austin, I can't wait

to go on The Wanda Watson Show with you.

What are you talking about?

You didn't know? He didn't know.

I told Wanda we'd go on her show and end our long-standing feud.

Long-standing? You didn't even exist two days ago.

Yeah, you guys are going on between Kristen Stewart,

and... don't freak out...

The bee whisperer!

- Who would freak out about... - The bee whisperer?

I love the bee whisperer!

Did you see the episode where he got 1,000 bees

to rescue that kitten trapped in a well?

Yes! He can train the bees to do anything.

I can't believe this.

First you steal my song, then my video,

and now you're stealing my TV appearances?

Aw, don't get upset, crybaby.

Yeah, stay smooth.

Dex, that's my thing.

Stay smooth.

I am not a big fan of T-Fame,

but I gotta say, I really like that Dex guy.

There's just something about him.

I hereby call this team Austin meeting to order.

First up, getting back at T-fake.

Dez isn't here yet.

Revenge waits for no one.

I want Trent to pay for what he did.

We gotta come up with something really good.

Austin, we shouldn't rush into anything.

I know, Ally.

You're gonna say we should sit down and reason with him.

Water the plant, people, and goodness will grow.

Blah, blah, blah.

No, I was gonna say we shouldn't rush our revenge.

I wanna get this guy.

We need to be ruthless, plan every detail,

make no mistakes. I don't wanna go back to jail!

I saw that in a movie once.

I like this new Ally.

We're gonna have a lot of fun together. So whatcha got?

This might be going too far,

but before Trent goes on "Wanda Watson,"

we put a "kick me" sign on his back.

And old Ally's back.

Hey, guys, check out my super cool Austin suit.

Dez, we don't have time for new Austin Moon merchandise right now.

No, this is how we'll get revenge on Trent.

We know he steals everything from Austin.

We'll leave this suit out before The Wanda Watson Show

and he won't be able to resist taking it.

And then we stick the "kick me" sign on the back.

Sweetie, the adults are talking.

So where does the revenge come in?

This is a sticky suit. When he stands up, this'll happen.

- Awesome! - What a great idea.

Of course, he'll be even more embarrassed

because he won't be wearing extra pants underneath like I am.

Dez, you're not wearing extra pants.

What?

The hilarious Kristen Stewart.

We'll be right back with Austin Moon and T-Fame.

The trap's been set. Trent was totally checking out my suit.

We left it hanging up in the dressing room.

Now we just gotta sit back and wait for him to steal it.

Trent's gonna be so embarrassed

when his pants fall off on national TV.

I almost feel bad that I'm gonna enjoy this so much.

I'm gonna go look out for Trent.

It's the bee whisperer. I'm gonna go get his autograph.

- Hey, bee whisperer. - Shh!

Whisper. There are bees present.

Now listen up, bees. When you go out onstage remember,

no stinging.

This is so cool.

This is so stupid.

Here he comes, but he's not wearing the suit.

See you out there, Austin.

I can't wait to promote my new product line.

- That's Austin's Cologne. - Oh.

Not anymore.

It's mine now.

Later, losers.

Bye, Dez.

What up?

Your "what up's" getting worse. It's not that hard.

Great, now our plan isn't working.

I can't believe Trent's gonna win again.

Guys, don't give up yet.

We still have this.

Can we give up now?

And we're back

with Austin Moon and T-Fame.

So, guys. Let's keep this real.

Tell me all about your rivalry.

We don't have a rivalry.

In fact, I'd like to hear about T-Fame's next song,

since he writes his own songs.

Whatcha working on, T?

You know, lots of stuff,

but right now I am really pumped about my new Cologne.

It's called "Stay Smooth."

Ooh.

Oh! Smells like honey and

wet dog.

That's... probably what it is.

- 18,782. - No.

- 18,783. - No.

- 18,784. - For the last time,

I don't know how many bees I have here!

Leave me alone!

What are you doing?

I'm trying to count the bees.

You're letting them out.

Now don't freak out, T-Fame,

but a bee has just landed on you.

Oh, it's just one little bee. No biggie.

And there's another bee.

And another one and another.

A few bees have never bothered T-Fame.

How about 5,000 bees?

No! Get off!

The bees are totally going after Trent.

Calm down. My bees don't sting.

Nobody panic. Nobody panic.

What did he just say?

It was "something panic, something panic."

Aggh! Please, get 'em off me!

No, please!

Help! Help!

Please, it's tickling me.

Get 'em off, please.

Hey, Trent, stay smooth.

Everyone's still buzzing about T-Fame and Austin Moon's appearance

on The Wanda Watson Show.

T-Fame is now accusing Austin of... get this...

Causing the bee attack. T-Fame or T-Blame?

Looks like we have a new "crybaby of the week."

I can't believe Trent didn't get stung once.

Stupid bee whisperer.

It's gonna take him a long time to live this down.

I know. When I destroyed the "Helen" set,

it took people a year to stop talking about me.

According to viewers,

T-Fame has the second most embarrassing

TV disaster ever.

Still at number one,

Ally Dawson on The Helen Show.

Ow!

- Classic. - Never gets old.

She had a drum on her head.

Laugh all you want,

someday I'll get my revenge.

Sure you will.

Hey! Why'd you kick me?

Told ya.