Original subtitles

Hello folks, how do you do? Garfield here to entertain you.

Thank you for that large round of indifference.

Ladies and gentlemen, on the drums tonight, an

old and dear friend of mine, Mr. Skins.

I know you're out there, I can hear your breathing.

Two, three, four.

Uh, impressions. Cat on a hot tin roof.

Thank you, Mom.

Okay, I know a dog who was so ugly, cars chased him.

Okay, no more dog jokes.

This cat is walking down the

street when a big surly dog jumps

out of the alley, grabs the cat, and throws him against the wall.

He picks the cat up and says, your money or your nine lives.

.Your money or your nine lives?

Nice touch.

I can see I got to warm things up here.

All your mothers wear army boots.

More like it, now that I have your attention

I'd like to move right to the big production number.

Mr. Skins, if you please.

I love show business. It's in my blood.

And my ears. Between my toes, up my nose.

Come on boys, the show's about to start.

Gee, isn't it great to be like

a real family to enjoy something together?

Good evening and welcome to Pet Search.

The show that says no matter how insignificant

you are, your pet may be a star.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen.

If your pets have any talent a tall, bring them down

to our studios at WBOR and enter them in Pet Search.

If your pet is determined by our audience to be the most

talented pet of the week, you will win $1000.

$1000?

That's right $1000.

And that's not all, you will also earn the

right to go on to the national finals in Hollywood.

- I don't believe it. - Well, believe it.

But before we start tonight's competition,

let's have a brief look at

last week's winner of Pet Search,

Mountain Man Dan and his dog, Blue.

I have a dog, his name is Blue.

He sings real good, he sings.

- We're better than that. - Gee, $1000.

Ah, I wish you boys had some talent.

We could be on that show.

We're rich. We're famous.

We'll win the contest and take the show on the road.

You guys are fabulous.

I had no idea you could dance.

- Shucks. - That old number.

You should see us on the fence.

We'll need costumes, a routine.

- We'll rehearse day and night. - Yip, yip.

- Day and night? - Forget it.

And we'll need some music.

We're in big trouble, Odie.

Jon's the worst.

We'll be laughed off the air.

The show is called Pet Search, not Dummy Search.

- So this is show business. - Pretty glamorous, huh guys?

How quaint.

A low tech studio in a high tech society.

And those other acts look pretty good, too.

Okay boys, remember what we rehearsed.

Let's get in to our costumes.

Where were you, Garfield?

Eliminating some competition.

Well hurry and get dressed,

the show is about to begin.

Hey, you're on in five minutes.

- Don't be late. - Come on, guys.

Let's break a leg.

- 10 seconds til air. - Nine, Eight.

- Aw, don't. - You stupid dog.

Get out of here.

Oh, if it wasn't, I'd break your arm!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and

welcome to.

- Come on, Garfield. - It's about time to perform.

- I'm not going. - Hey!

We've worked too hard to have you back out now.

Tell you what, you andOdie go on without me.

Do a knife throwing act or something.

Garfield, now.

- This is embarrassing. - Okay.

- Are we going out there tonight? - Maybe.

Are we gonna give the performance of our lives?

Doubt it.

- Are we gonna win? - Not a chance.

- Alright, let's do it! - Let's not and say we did.

Okay, Petey.

Do a back flip. Roll over, Petey.

Sing Ma Laguinia, Petey. Petey?

Is there a doctor in the house?

And that was Grandma Fogerty and the amazing.

Petey.

Ladies and gentlemen, our next act is

called five tap dancing pigeons and Herbie.

Herbie, it can't be easy teaching pigeons to tap dance.

It's taken me 17 years.

It must take a lot of dedication.

These pigeons are my life, you know?

Well best of luck Herbie, the stage is yours.

I think we have it wrapped up, guys.

I haven't seen any competition so far.

And there's only one act after us.

With our luck, it'll probably be a

dog who plays five instruments at the same time.

Our next act is a local group.

Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Bopand the Two Steps.

Johnny Bop and the TwoSteps.

- You guys were great. - You were awful.

Now, one more act to go

and we can collect our thousand dollars.

Our final act this evening is Bob the Wonder Dog.

He will play five, count them, five instruments simultaneously.

Uh-oh.

Bingo.

There seems to be a disqualification.

Well, those are all the acts.

So it's time to let the

studio audience determine this week's winner.

May have I have all the contestants on stage, please.

- This is it! - Good luck, boys!

- Fernando and Flippy! - Boo.

Pierre and his talkingparrot Chatter Box!

Boo.

Grandma Fogerty and the amazing Petey.

Boo.

Five tap dancing pigeons and Herbie.

- Boo. - Johnny Bop and

The Two Steps.

It looks as though we have our winners.

Johnny Bop and The Two Steps.

What a night.

We got a lot of money, we got a lot of money.

We got a lot, a lot of money and we're going to Hollywood.

Money, big deal.

A lot of good money does a cat.

And going to Hollywood sounds like a long car ride to me.

It's not enough that we made

fools of ourselves on a local station.

Now we've won the right to do it in front of the whole country.

Oh, well.

Maybe things will work out, maybe

the Earth will shift and Hollywood

will fall into the ocean.

Hurry up, boys, Hollywoodis calling.

There it is, boys, Hollywood, California.

What do ya think?

Yip, yip.

Boffo, terrif, don't change a thing.

I love it just the way it is. Let's do lunch.

Well, I hope Hollywood is ready for

us, if you know what I mean.

I'm afraid I do.

I had no idea.

This town has my name written all over it.

This is Shangri-la.

I'll be famous, a household word.

I could get used to this.

Have the bags sent to my suite, Jon, and tip

the bellman well, you know what a heavy tipper I am.

This is more like it.

This makes Jon's home look like a fleabag.

No squeaky floors, no peeling wallpaper, just

class as far as the eye can see.

I think I could get used to this.

What more could a cat want? A cat could want this.

I'm so happy, I could just cry.

Check that.

I'm so happy, I could just sleep and dream.

This is the life, isn't it boys?

Better enjoy it while you can.

We'll have to go back to reality pretty soon.

- Reality? - Where's that?

Well, while I take a shower,

why don't you boys do some rehearsing.

- Mm-hm. - Rehearsing?

A lot a good rehearsing that stupid act is gonna do.

Well, Jon and Odie can go back to

reality if they want to, but I'mnot.

I'm staying.

I'm going to win that talent competition,

become a star, and live out my days in

the manner to which I'm going to be accustomed.

Odie, come here!

Odie, we're pretty talented, right?

- Right. - We're good dancers, right?

Right.

We went to Pet Search and won, right?

Right.

And we're gonna win in Hollywood, right?

You're right, we're not gonna win, right?

- Right. - Cuz our act stinks, right?

- Right. - And whose fault is that?

Right, it's Jon's fault.

Odie the time has come to cut

some of the deadwood out of our act.

And there's only one way to do it.

Not a pretty job, Odie, but somebody has to do it.

Here give me a hand.

Good work.

- Ready boys? - I better tune up the

- old guitar. - Good luck.

What's the matter, Jon?

You look as tough you've lost your only friend.

My guitar is crushed.

It's gone, caput.

On to that big tuning forkin the sky, huh?

You boys wouldn't happen to

know anything about this, would ya?

Alright you guys.

Come back here.

What are we gonna do?

The finals are coming up soon, and we don't have a routine.

Don't worry your pretty head about a thing.

Leave everything to us.

Wow just look at all this.

Our own private dressing room, fresh flowers.

So this is what stardom is like.

Hey, they're rehearsing, let's check out the competition.

It looks as though the competition's

a little stiffer than back home.

You know, could it be life in Hollywood might change us?

I hope so.

Could it be life in the fast lane might make us hard?

I could live with that.

Could it be we'll forget who we really are?

Only if we're lucky.

That we'll hurt the little people?

Hey, I don't care who I step on

on the way up, cuz I ain't coming back down.

Come on, Odie.

- It's show time! - Could it

be you'll forget about me?

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and

welcome to the national finals of Pet Search.

Yes, the winners of tonight's competition

are not only going to become

famous, but they're going to receive a lot of prizes as well.

What do we have for them, Bob?

Well, Burt, tonight's winners will receive a

one year contract with a big Hollywood movie studio.

But before they go to work they'll spend six weeks on a world cruise.

And that's not all, waiting for them when they get home will be

matching his and hers limousinesparked by

the pool of their brand new home.

But what good is a home without

a little spending money to furnish it.

- Right, Burt? - Right, Bob.

Tonight's winners will also walk away with a check

for one million dollars!

Tell us Bob, what are

the second place contestants going to receive?

- A boat! - A boat?

A boat. Thank you very much, Bob!

Now let's get on with PetSearch!

Here from Chicago, Illinois, theLemon Sisters!

Those chickens were pretty good.

Yes they are.

We must have them for dinner some time.

Here from New York City, The Garbonzo Brothers.

I didn't know dogs couldtumble.

Yeah, but are they housebroken?

From New Orleans, Louisiana,

here's Miles, the Jazz Canary.

Winning all those prizeswould be great, guys.

But getting back to our real

home will be even greater, right?

You've got to be kidding.

Our next act features a rather unique cat and dog duo.

From Muncie, Indiana, welcome the dancing Armandos.

This'll be a piece of cake.

We were fantastic! We can't lose.

We're number one!

Next, from Los Gatos,

California, Desiree the classical cat!

Ladies and gentlemen, our judges have reached a decision.

Fifth place goes to the Lemonsisters.

Fourth place goes to Miles, the Jazz Canary.

Third place goes to the TumblingGarbanzo Brothers.

Well we are down to our two finalist.

May I have the envelope please?

- Whoops. - Come on will ya.

Come on.

Second place goes to TheDancing Armandos.

The winner is Desiree TheClassical Cat.

We've been robbed.

I demand a recount, the judges were paid off, rip off.

We been robbed, call RalphNader.

We've lost everything.

We really haven't lost anything Garfield, we're

still a family, we still have each other.

Big fat hairy deal.

You know, boys, maybe it's best we didn't win Pet Search.

I don't know if we were cut out for that kind of life.

Speak for yourself, Jon.

Some of us were born to be great.

Nevertheless, we did get a boat out of it.

There's something to be said for the yachting life.

I could grow accustomed to this.

Where do we sail to next, gentlemen?

The south of France?

Hm, I hear the Fiji islands

are particularly nice this time of year.

Yes, maybe we could do some

surfing off the Gold Coast of Australia.

Maybe we should just settle for

a simple spin around the Caribbean islands.

- Yes. - What think you, Odie?