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(Транскрибовано за допомогою TurboScribe.ai. Оновити до Необмеженого, щоб прибрати це повідомлення.) Today I want to show
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you how to create a simple, yet
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powerful effect.
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Do not be angry, you are better suited
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to this environment than I am.
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For you see, you are not overheated.
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I'm about to stroke myself with heat.
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Do you mean heat stroke?
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What?
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If you're going to use American expressions to
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be funny, make sure you say them right
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or you're going to get discovered.
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I'm not saying it to be funny.
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I'm just trying to show you that these
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expressions that you know are probably traps by
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the American government to reveal us in their
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population.
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Explain.
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Well, if I wanted to express the negative
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emotion, I would actually give you my sheet
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instead of withholding it.
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Yeah, if you were an enemy of mine
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and you showed me art that you painted,
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if I crapped on it and gave a
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sheet, then I would show that I care.
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But my meaning would be clear.
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Crapping on your painting would be very clear.
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I would crap on the painting.
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But if I did not crap on the
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painting, if I never gave you my sheet,
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you did not know that my sheet is
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directed at your painting, you would not know
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I hate that.
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Yeah, if we ever end up in America,
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do not go on a tirade like this.
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Nobody cares about the history of I don't
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give a shit.
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Oh?
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Well, in America, I would never be discovered
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as a Nazi because I would be a
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philanthropist.
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Why?
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I will donate feces to a charity to
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show that I give a shit!
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guitar plays I
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have found something.
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Stay back.
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I must inspect this corpse.
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I believe it belonged to Hovinka.
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Oh?
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And how would you know it's her torso
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based only on her breasts?
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Why do you have a rabbit inside your
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buttocks?
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You mean a hair up my ass?
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You say tornado, I say tornado.
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Whatever it is, pull it out so we
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could have sex.
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You and I.
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Well, you...
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Trust me, if we had sex, that's exactly
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what I'd say.
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Pull it out.
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Not that I could feel it in there
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anyway.
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Instead of a swastika, you should wear a
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quasi-dicka armband.
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Oh, that shows you how stupid Americans are.
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In that country, they have this creature called
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Bigfoot.
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But we know by experimenting in our experiments
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that you can judge the size of a
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penis by the length of a foot.
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The length of the foot is 12 inches
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or whatever the amount of centimeters are.
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If we switch to the metric system, we
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will no longer have hiccups, I say.
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But the Bigfoot...
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If there really were a creature with an
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enormous foot, his nickname would not be Bigfoot,
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it would be Bigpenis.
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Consider that myth busted, buster!
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Why do you pronounce it penis?
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Oh, because when I contracted the disease on
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my penis, I was prescribed penicillin.
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Oh, and how did you get a venereal
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disease?
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It wasn't in my veins, it was in
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my urethra, alias PPECT.
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I got it from Hovinka.
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But wait, it does not mean that we
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had sexual intercourse or even non-sexual intercourse.
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Oh, really?
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Well, if she satisfies you so much, then
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maybe you two should stick together.
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I'm sure you'll survive longer than you would
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if you stayed with me.
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In fact, I never want to see you
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again.
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Oh, don't let the door hit your asshole
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on the way out!
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I thought I found a reason to live
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just like before.
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I was a child only to find that
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trees made of sand would just fall apart
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and slip through my hands.
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I just feel that all that I have
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is wrong and will
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to carry on.
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I sit here outside
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all night but as long as the veins
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in my arms still stand up.
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I'm so hungry, but I'm not going to
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complain.
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But it is good for me to ponder
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something I've always heard.
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I was told that if you were on
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Desert Island and all you had to eat
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was American breakfast cereal, you would die of
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malnutrition.
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I believe that.
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Only in America are people so stupid that
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they advertise food that only has nutrition if
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you eat other food items with it that
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have the vitamins.
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Part of a balanced breakfast.
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Yeah, why don't I eat everything but the
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cereal and still have vitamins?
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But the other thing that bothers me is
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the misrepresentation of the cuckoo bird, which is
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a proud German species.
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They have this sunny cuckoo bird.
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He goes cuckoo for cuckoo puffs, and people
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think that he goes cuckoo like he goes
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crazy, but no, when the cuckoo bird emits
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a cuckoo, it's you who goes verrucht.
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That's right.
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So if sunny the cuckoo bird went cuckoo
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for cuckoo puffs, you would be crazy and
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you would helplessly surrender your cuckoo puffs to
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sunny the cuckoo bird because the cuckoo bird
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is a bird that when it emits the
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cuckoo, it fools all other species into feeding
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it.
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So it doesn't have to, it has a
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charmed life.
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All it does is cuckoo, and then you
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give it food.
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Much like when I sing, I croon.
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I croon cuckoo, and then you give me
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food because you love the way I give
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you passionate singing love.
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But in the domain of buttocks, maybe the
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commercial has the cuckoo bird going cuckoo because
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it is the top of the hour.
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It does not matter that he is in
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the clock or not in the clock, but
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at the top of the hour, cuckoo, and
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then they videotape it, and then with deceptive
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editing, they make it look like it goes
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cuckoo for cuckoo puffs.
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I'm going to stop this when I go
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to America.
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I'm going to
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stop this
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when I go to America.
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