Original subtitles

I might be a while if you're waiting for the shaft of light paint.

Oh, that's okay. You take your time.

Gives me pleasure to see you getting pleasure.

Just take it.

Woo hoo!

Woo hoo!

Jay's new TV arrived from Amazon Prime.

Didn't he just order that yesterday?

The modern transport of goods is truly a marvel.

So much efficiency.

So few horse deaths.

Jay, they're here.

You can make your announcement now.

Okay, here's the deal, people.

This is for living's only.

Okay?

I need one TV that isn't dominated by ghosts watching trash reality.

Bodybuilder wives is not trash.

It's a pig behind the curtain of seven brave

women and the muscle-bound man they love.

Are those skank wars?

Sure, that's harder to defend.

Guys, Jay has been putting in long hours planning the restaurant.

He deserves to relax.

Kick back. Watch the next lose in 4k.

Good smack-talk, babe.

Speaking of the restaurant has Jay given any

more thought to my idea about putting in a P7.

Gas or wood fire?

I'm not picky, but probably wood fired.

SaaS is asking again about you buying a pizza oven.

Sorry, SaaS, Serena.

It just doesn't work with the kitchen layout.

First home to never call me that again and then

can be my deep disappointment about the oven.

So what are we thinking, babe?

Hang it on this wall, right?

Oh, I don't know.

I think people usually put them above the fireplace or the focal point.

What?

That's way too high.

You want the TV to be at eye level when you're sitting.

It's called optimal viewing angle.

Oof, that was tripping with condescension.

That's the answer.

They got magenta kicked off a skank wall.

Right, but if we put it there, then we'd have the back of the couch facing the door.

Not a bad thing to wait.

I gotta go with Jay on this one.

You don't want to be craning your neck.

And that's coming from a guy who knows about neck pain.

Agreed.

James Madison's hunting print was hung several feet too high.

We could barely stare at it for the entire burn of a tallow candle.

Oh, you guys did not have a lot to do back then, huh?

Other than invent democracy?

Come on, amongst Europeans.

How are the ghosts like in the marinara? Talk of food.

We might bore flour.

She also ate food when alive many times.

They seem to be enjoying it.

Well, he's so struggling.

I feel for a guy.

But she's not a better place.

Any place would be better than here.

A prisoner in my ancestral home.

My kitchen wreaking of exotic foods.

It's spaghetti.

So many vowels.

I understand Thor's frustration.

After all, flour was his third paramour to be sucked off.

She was?

Oh, that's right.

I keep forgetting none of you around for Luella or flat Maria.

Flat Maria?

Tell you've seen it.

You can't imagine what I heard of cattle can do to the human body.

Jay, this is so sad.

Apparently, Isaac says Thor's had three girlfriends,

and they all got sucked off after dating him.

Oh, poor guy.

Sounds like he's got a good luck chuck situation going on.

Good luck chuck is a movie about a guy named Chuck,

who slept with a lot of women.

Flawless premise.

And every woman that he hooked up with would marry the next man that she met.

So if Jay is correct, and this is indeed a good luck chuck situation,

do we believe that any woman Thor becomes

romantically entangled with man of getting sucked off? Possibly.

Poor Viking bastard.

Interesting.

Jay R. and Dicker at the charity strike game on the

line to win the championship and save the world.

Pizza oven.

What?

Get a pizza oven.

You want a pizza oven.

You can't live without a pizza oven.

Shooting two?

Yes!

Whoa! Hey there Thor.

My interrupting anything.

I thought maybe you could use some cheerring on.

Not interrupting Thor.

I just think about emptiness of universe,

futility of existence,

deliciousness of corn.

Hmm.

Poor Thor.

Been through a lot.

Maybe there's some way I can help you relax.

I was just very kind.

Hmm.

I always forget how pungent that wolf you're in is.

His highest quality is first squeeze of dead wolf bladder.

Most coveted.

It's so interesting.

Yeah.

And it's nice.

Don't be afraid to really get in there.

Believe I'm in this deep person prepared to go.

Question.

What the H.G. double hockey sticks were you

doing in Sam and Jay's bedroom last night?

What are you talking about?

You thought I was sleeping, but I wasn't.

Because of my sleep apnea, which I assumed I'd get

rid of when I died, but I didn't, so I'm always a little tired.

Oh, hey, sweetie.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm just marking off where the TV would go.

If you know, we put it where Reddit and the

Geeks squad and common sense say it should go.

And what are you doing?

I'm following Samantha for the day.

It's Wednesday.

Jay, that would mean the couch goes there, which is insane.

I don't know.

The couch over there might look nice.

Oh, the ghosts are laughing at you.

I was thinking about switching to Thursdays,

but Wednesday is the day that Samantha flirts with Kevin,

the water delivery man.

I do not.

What? Nothing.

So what is that?

Are you looking up pizza ovens?

That was the strangest thing.

I woke up this morning absolutely certain that

we should get a pizza oven for the restaurant.

I thought you said it wouldn't fit with the kitchen layout.

The man's a lot of change is mine, Sam.

I don't know.

I just woke up convinced.

So I'm going to find a way to make it work.

You're the chef.

Looks like it's your lucky day, sass.

Yeah.

Very lucky.

Well, I have Zoom yoga.

50 bucks says there's not a single Indian person there.

So yesterday, Jay says he doesn't want a pizza oven.

Then you did some weird thing to him while he slept, and he just woke up wanting one?

Pretty cool coincidence, huh?

What's going on, sass? I don't know.

You're talking about, we are roommates.

I tell you all my secrets.

You know about my Lonnie Anderson River-wrapping fantasy.

What's your point, P?

The point is, I tell you everything.

And I know there's something you're not telling me.

And if you're doing something to hurt my Jay,

would you stop keeping avoiding it?

Okay, I'm not hurting Jay.

Just listen.

It's my ghost power.

Okay, I can subtly influence livings by going into their dreams.

Just don't tell anyone.

Jeez, I'm crackers.

That's incredible.

Holy guacamole!

Would you please stop swearing cleanly?

It's very annoying.

It's just, that's one heck of a ghost power.

Okay, Chris.

I mean, dip my chip.

You can jump into other people's dreams.

Yes, okay.

And no one knows other than Thor.

Who I had to tell because we were alone together

for many years and there were a lot of awkward silences.

So you can just make people do whatever you want.

Well, it's not that simple.

I have to gain their trust.

Repeatedly show open their dreams.

And the person has to be susceptible.

Luckily, Jay's mind is, like, taffy.

Wait, so you're, like, always hanging out with Jay, huh? Yeah.

What is he dream about?

Mostly basketball and space travel.

Love that.

And sometimes he has a dream about Sam and that, uh, Princess Leia Bikini.

Of course he does.

Jay's a real wife, God.

But I gotta say, I mean, this doesn't seem ethical.

So, I mean, mind-controlling people.

Don't you dare say anything, Pete.

Okay, we're roommates, right?

We keep each other secrets.

But this affects other people.

I mean, I don't think Sam and Jay would appreciate what you're doing.

Well, I know someone who would appreciate it.

You.

When Jay puts your favorite camping treat,

smores on his restaurant menu,

I can make that happen.

If you play ball,

just think about it.

Grandcracker, chocolate,

and that white stuff that showed up like 100 years ago.

Marshmallow.

Marshmallow.

No, I can't.

Look, the only smore I'm interested in is more integrity around here.

There's so lame, yeah.

That may be true, but at least I can sleep at night.

Well, I mean, if it weren't for the apnea,

which, again, is so weird that that exists in the afterlife.

Mmm.

Hi!

You doing all kinds of rubber?

You look like when Sam and Jay put parental controls on the internet.

I don't think things are working out with me and Heddie.

Didn't you do a breakup? Oh, right.

No.

We just told you all that so we could sneak around, which makes the sex hotter.

Shall you two are exhausting.

I know.

Anyway, I just saw her trying to seduce Thor.

Wait, what?

How with all?

Never learned pronouns, Thor.

Yes.

Although, I know it's not like she's in him for real.

She's just trying to get sucked off.

Oh, backup.

Walk me through this.

Okay.

Isaac told us to flower's actually the third

girlfriend of Thor who's the get sucked off.

Basically, people think he's like a ticket to heaven.

Interesting.

I mean, it's gross, right?

Using him like that, not to mention completely rude to me.

Very interesting.

Peach has told me what you've been up to, Sass.

Are you kidding?

You've been entering my husband's dreams to manipulate his thoughts.

Okay, yes.

But I really wanted a pizza of him.

Wait, where's Isaac?

I thought he was shadowing you today.

Yeah, he fell asleep during child's pose, so I snuck out.

The point is this is a huge breach of trust and privacy.

Not to mention it's creepy.

Just stay out of Jay's head.

I'm sorry, lesson learned.

Thank you.

And you know what?

I'm proud of you, Sam.

What do you mean?

Well, I just think that another wife, a lesser wife,

might want to use his power to her own benefit.

Like, I don't know, to win an ongoing marital dispute.

Did you guys ever decide where to put the TV, by the way?

What are you saying?

No, I think you know what I'm saying.

And you know what to find me.

Oh, there you are.

Man, I feel refreshed.

Now, down to the desk for the weekly sorting of the mail.

Wednesdays.

What do you talk?

Trevor, is something troubling you?

Yeah, something's troubling me.

We're secretly hooking up, and you're secretly trying to hook up what my roommate.

Oh, you're talking about the fourth thing.

Well, there's nothing secret about it.

I was most overt.

I left the door open.

We literally can't close doors.

OK.

I get why you're upset.

But if you truly cared for me, wouldn't you

want me to get sucked off by being with your roommate? Well.

And away, isn't it you who's being selfish?

The point is, I forgive you.

No, no.

This, you and me, is over.

What you did with Thor was wrong.

And just so you know, Alberta agrees with me.

Alberta knows about Thor's magic hammer? Yeah.

And she found your behavior very interesting.

Is that what she said? Yeah.

Twice.

So, sorry, sister.

But I'm walking through this door, and I'm not coming back.

I gotta go.

Oh, more than sweetie.

How'd you sleep? Incredible.

Do you know where our tools are?

I did not sleep well.

My tongue literally slips into my throat, which is already pretty packed real estate.

Why do you need the tools?

I'm gonna hang the TV.

I woke up thinking about it, and you know what? You're right.

What? Really? Yeah.

I mean, who cares about optimal viewing angle?

You want the TV over the mantle.

No, you don't.

That's what she wants.

I cannot believe you.

Now you're using SAS to get what you want?

Well, Jay, it was such a trivial matter,

and not remotely worth getting worked up about, but I'm glad it's behind us now.

You're a bad lady.

A bad, bad lady.

I mean, walking in and seeing the back of the couch.

I mean, what are we animals?

Right?

Bad lady!

You know, I was thinking about that story you were telling me the other day.

The one about you raiding that village using those big, strong palms of yours.

Not many of those stories, sir.

Can you be more specific?

The one where you ripped a pig apart using your bare hands.

Do you remember what type of pig?

Oh, but just, man, I was looking for.

I'll put a mind if I steal him for a sec.

Actually, we're kind of in the middle of something.

I bet you are.

Unfortunately, I really must speak with Thor alone.

Whenever you need to say the Thor, you can say it for me.

Fuck off!

Oh, no, first, do you owe me?

Your son killed many!

Hit a boss!

That's been stuck here longer than you,

if anyone's getting sucked off, it's going to be me.

What do you mean? Sucked off.

Oh, uh, you.

..

misheard me.

Let's talk about God.

Oh, wonderful fish for the lakey.

Mm-hmm.

Someone tell Thor what's going on here.

Thor.

We have been informed that when you date someone,

they tend to get sucked off.

So you're just using Thor to get to the hole.

Praying on Thor's painful past with power.

Luella.

Fuck, Maria.

My little pancake.

So I need you to use your power to alert Jay.

Right on the mirror, send a text message.

I don't want a micromanage, but he needs to be warned.

Hold up.

This whole time, SaaS has had the ability to manipulate living streams.

And now Sam is getting him to use it for her own evil purposes.

I mean, can you believe that?

So SaaS can use his power to help other people get what they want.

Interesting.

Okay.

I don't think it's a good idea.

I mean, we're kind of pushing our luck here.

Do it all email Jay and blow up your whole game.

You got this.

The floor's axe for tracking us.

I want rear shields to full.

Yes, sir.

Here's your space report space boss.

It's exactly what I feared.

That is a lot of space.

Shall we engage the atomic torpedoes?

Actually, what I think we need is...

What was the thing you wanted?

A gaffe, Ireland, poster.

She was a sports illustrator.

She wouldn't see a model.

The only thing that can save the ship is a Cathy Ireland poster.

What?

According to my database, she's a late to 20th century supermodel.

What are you guys doing?

Are you going to the Jay's dreams again?

People come back to sleep.

Okay.

Just having Trevor, it's not a big deal.

Trevor.

What's going on? Camot.

Dream Jay's suspicious.

Hey.

You're the pizza ref.

He and the old fortune teller who told me to hang the TV over the fireplace.

Chef, the Bozak.

No, now, Flargon.

Are you?

Are you sass?

Now he's asking if I'm sassopis.

I mean... No.

I'm... Not.

Then how did you know he's full name?

Okay, Sam, let me do it.

Okay, Sam, let me do it.

And I'd like the TV where you wanted them.

You are so busted.

You made your bed, Sam.

And now you got a lie in it.

Get it?

Because she's sleeping.

And also I'm guilty of a deceitful act.

Hey, sweetheart.

Good morning.

I made you your favorite for Tada.

That's so sweet of you.

There's nothing there.

Because I didn't make you a for Tada.

I lied.

Sucks when you can't trust your partner, right? Jay knows.

He knows everything.

Yeah, I got that sass.

Oh, interesting.

Is your invisible creepy dream creeper here?

Tell him I tried to warn him.

I'm sorry.

Can someone catch me up?

Sass has been controlling Jay by entering his dreams.

It's his ghost power.

Seriously.

And I get the fart thing.

Okay, Jay, I'm sorry.

It was very dumb with me.

I only found out about Sass's ghost power two days ago.

I should have told you right away.

But no.

You wanted to win a stupid argument.

And I don't even care about the TV.

I care that you violated my trust.

Oh, but it's not just you, I'm mad at.

He's not mad at me, is he?

I had his back all along.

I got this badge for loyalty.

Oh, no, wait, that's Apple picking.

I do so much stuff for the ghosts.

Unlike you, I don't even get to see them.

And now I learn all this time one ghost had

the power to actually sort of be my friend.

And he took that power and used it to get me to do even more stuff.

Sam, just please tell Jay I'm sorry.

Sass says he's sorry.

It's cool.

I guess I just know where I stand.

Oh! I'm relieved.

Who are?

Where are you in apology?

It was very wrong of us to try to seduce you for our own benefit.

The thing is, we will just gel us a flower.

Heather and I have both had some very big suck-off worthy moments.

There's no excuse into the sea's sacred act between two people who love each other.

All between dozens of strangers that need fueled orgy.

You're right.

We're very sorry that we try to take advantage of you at this difficult time.

Thank you.

It is difficult.

Flower, not just most adventurous lover.

She also only goes to her, really take time to listen to thought.

You know, Thor, I'd like to hear the rest of that splitting the pig in half story.

I also want to hear about splitting the pig.

You're just saying that.

Damn right, we are.

Now you tell us, and we're going to listen to every gory detail.

Kay, well, what a lot of people don't know is it pig has weak spotted spine.

And once you locate spots, you can just rip it in half just like goat.

Oh, he's a guy.

Oh, sorry.

Actually, hoping to catch you alone.

He's wise to the whole good luck chuck thing, Nancy.

What could luck chuck thing?

I was just waiting a respectful amount of time post flower,

but a card's on the table.

I want to climb that tree.

Huh.

To the top.

I'll rendaker with the free throw line again,

but this time he's just sitting sadly on the floor.

What a turn of events.

Hey, Jay.

Let me guess.

He wants to mount a ghost cocaine.

I mean, if that's something you could arrange,

I'm sure she wouldn't turn it down, but that's not why I'm here.

And now the referee is sitting down with our rendaker.

This is unprecedented.

I want to tell you myself, I'm really sorry, Jay.

I'm never going to trick you again.

Partly because now that you know what I look like it won't work,

but mostly because you don't do that to a friend.

You want to be friends? Yeah.

We had a lot of fun fighting those blurs X.

And if it's not too boring, maybe we could hang out once in a while.

Not like that.

Bring it in.

He's hugging it out with the ref.

Jay's opponents are stunned.

One of whom appears to be his high school calculus teacher.

Where's your homework, Jay?

Everything OK?

Yeah, but it just having a good dream.

And that was good luck, Chuck.

I hope you all enjoyed.

If any of you are actually in here.

Chuck very lucky for him the end.

Chuck, find love.

But to last, for the orphan, there will be no happy ending.

What's going on?

Why isn't Jay watching the new TV in the dead?

They gave up on that too much argument.

They decided it was better that no one would be happy.

Marriage, am I right?

Hey, please don't say that.

I6 engaged.

Marriage is great, I6.

Your wife was sleeping with your best friend.

But I didn't know that.

You're right.

Good point, Pete.

Hey, Jay.

What do you say we put these decorations up?

Halloween is just around the corner.

Sounds good, babe.

Wait a minute.

Halloween.

Remember last year we brought that super hot maid back from heaven with the saions?

Are you saying we should bring flour back from heaven this Halloween?

Can we please have one normal year?

Yes.

This Halloween.

We bring back my girlfriend from heaven.