Original subtitles

So, let me get this straight.

So, you saying that the Lord put me on your heart to help me with my campaign?

Honey, yes, I accept.

I'm not turning down no blessings.

Thank you so much. I look forward to it, Mama.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, let's see.

Oh, wow.

What's up with this unspeakable joy?

That was Donna LaRue, my new bestie.

She's new in town and she's new to the church.

She's going to help me with my campaign. She want to help me be president of the

church's board of directors.

Only one person can make me lose control of my body like that.

Willie Jenkins.

He taught a dance class in the back of a chicken joint in the 70s.

Pat me limber like a chicken wing with mild salt.

Oh, my goodness.

Okay,

hold on now. Is this Donna LaRue of the LaRue cookie chain?

Oh, my goodness. The one who makes those, ooh, shortbread, butter pecan,

cheese. Oh, my goodness.

Apple fritter pancake cookies.

Yeah. I think I just gained 10 pounds.

That's my new bestie. That is my new bestie. But the thing is, I love that

a successful woman, and she's willing to elevate another woman.

Isn't that nice? Doesn't hurt that she's rich, too.

Well, I'm not checking it to her, riches or nothing, you know? Oh, let me check

for you, dear. I'll look her up on the old, young, gifted, black and rich

website. Wait a minute now.

It's not even about the money, Miss Anastasia. It's about us as black women

elevating each other and lifting each other up and encouraging each other.

That's what it's all about.

So right, Cora. So right. Now, come on now, Miss Future Madam President.

Wait, now, hold on. I didn't get enough for free cookies.

Now, what's your first order of business?

My first order of business for my upcoming campaign event is to take down

opponent of mine, that lying Louise.

Oh, okay. Well, so much for lifting each other up.

Why is she caught lying Louise?

Her name is Louise, and she's always lying.

Oh, wait a minute now. Is that the one who brought those Maddie Pies to the

church bake sale and tried to pass them off as her own? Mm -hmm.

Oh. Yes, it is. That is her.

How's she going to do Miss Maddie Maybel like that? I don't know. And her Maddie

Pies. Isn't that sad?

Terrible. You know what, ladies, hold on. Speaking of sweets, we need to do

something nice, like a fruit basket or something for the assistant facility

across the street.

They've been having some break -ins.

Yes, I heard about that, and that is terrible. That explains why Mr. Brown

bought the case of pepper spray and a box of tasers and signed us all up for a

self -defense class.

Mm -hmm, because that Louise is going to need some self -defense. Uh -oh. After

I bring her this beat down from this campaign.

Uh -oh.

Yeah.

No matter what you do, I love you. No matter where you go, I'm behind you for

sure. Always remember, yeah.

We'll make it if we sing together.

Oh, there you go.

Curve, did anybody call you from the senior mayor of Quiet?

No, why would they be calling me?

As the new president of the board.

We're going to need you to authorize the funds for us to do our new mixtape.

Don't start that, Mr. Brown.

What? Curl, we need to lay down some new tracks.

Ever since we let Brother Jemison go, we got to lay down a new mixtape because

his oversized dentures used to be whistling on all the other tracks.

He just said, amazing, great.

Mr. Brown, that's all the tracks. This is terrible. Don't do that. And don't

have nobody else calling me, Mr. Brown.

That's not proper protocol.

I haven't even warned me.

What needs to be protected is the democratic process must have her way and

protected from both oppression and subversion by unscrupulous constituents.

Who you calling a constituent? You looking at me calling me a constituent?

I ain't no constituent.

Mr. Brown, don't do that.

No, Mr. Reginald, you know, the thing is, if I win this election, I want to

a difference to my community, to my church.

You know, you've been in a powerful position before. Can you just give me

pointers, give me some tips?

Much of the success of an office rests on the character of the person who holds

it. Now, you just... Choose to do the best for all involved, and you'll do

Thank you, Mr. Reginald. That was sweet. That was nice.

That's why you was in a powerful position.

Kerr, what?

Your phone is blowing up over here. What, it is? You done got a new man or

something? No.

And my phone's blowing up now.

Well, there is a lot of them. What is that? What are you talking about?

Kerr. I miss my campaign event.

Mr. Brant, look.

My campaign.

thing is to not for another two days. See, look at this invitation.

It says the women of distinction brunt will chorus them.

It's the day.

What? What are they talking about?

You a liar. You got a wig. Come on. Wait a minute. Do your makeup.

No matter of fact, don't do your makeup. I do it. Come on.

Oh my God.

What's going on?

Oh yes.

I'm good.

She's not going to be president.

No, my campaign thing is that they said, the people, the invitation said that

they went to the event and they realized that it wasn't the event and everybody

came and left, Mr. Brown. Maybe they impeached you.

No, no, no.

Why did somebody do that?

No.

Now that day just couldn't just magically change on its own.

Okay, all right. I really appreciate it.

Thank you. Just let me know what happened.

Bye -bye.

What did she say?

She said she's going to try to figure out what's happening.

And then she asked me if she could go to the mayor's reception with me. She want

to be my plus one.

She want to do damage control.

Now, something about this don't seem right. I don't have a good feeling.

You're right. It does sound a little strange.

But, you know, that Louise, you know, her a bit was this week also.

And I heard she didn't have that many RCPs. Well, she may have sabotaged my

just so she could bring hers up.

Fine, Louie.

Now that's not usually the reaction I get when I enter a room. Why are you

so chumpy?

You ain't here?

There was another break -in at the assisted living facility across the

Yeah, and it's an old lady that used to be a gangster rapper back in the day.

They ripped her gold -plated dentures right out of her mouth.

Yeah, and this guy got pistol whipped.

and a motorized scooter jacket.

I just spoke to the facility manager across the street. Now, none of that

happened, but the thieves are still at large.

It's enough. We have to deal with sagging skin, cellulite, and join me for

next episode of... Oh, that reminds me.

You're right. We shouldn't have to worry about crime sprees and people sticking

us up for our papers.

What do you mean sticking up for our papers?

You're not supposed to have my back.

It's too dark. He just popped up. What are you guys talking about papers and

sticking up?

And what does that even mean? It means hide your valuables, hide your cash.

your drip, hide your ice. Hide your mama, hide all of your stuff. Oh, you're

talking about the misfortune that happened to the other facility.

My prayers are with them.

But, but, but, there's an African population that says one who causes

person's misfortune also teaches them wisdom.

Because in all things, even the bad, there's always something.

To be learned.

I know he says some profanity, but I didn't get African proverb.

Yeah,

you are very useless.

You did a good job installing the surveillance camera system, man.

You really know what you're doing, huh?

I couldn't even see the wires.

It's a wireless system, Dad.

I knew that. Shut up.

Well, ain't nothing getting past that, baby.

I mean, it's got siren, night vision, facial recognition, and dual audio.

Nice, well, let's give it a test run.

All right, but just be smooth.

What do you mean, be smooth? I'm always smooth. Get out of here.

No, you're not. I mean, you know how you get around electronics and just things

that light up in general.

I mean, just think back to decades and decades and decades ago when you were

young, right?

When you saw a nice -looking lady for the first time. Hey, Liz, are you in

trouble? No, before Mom.

You used to be cool, right?

And less thirsty?

Do that now.

Hey,

cutie.

Nice shoes on.

Like your hair.

Don't be a creep.

Just sign in.

And whatever you do, don't hit the red.

What'd I do? You hit the red button. The button I told you not to hit.

Man, you should have said it faster.

How can we protect ourselves when the security system is making us blonder and

deafer?

I found this on the front yard while I was taking my walk. Somebody's been

posting them all over town.

I'm sorry, Cora.

No. They didn't even spell her name right.

What did it say? What did it say? Cora Brown, that ain't her name.

Somebody want to do that. Why would somebody want to do that?

Man.

Our self -defense class begins. I just wanted to check in with everybody after

crazy week we've had.

Does Cora's campaign opponent still claim she has nothing to do with the

or involvement in the event sabotage? Yeah, that's her story. She's sticking

it. But Phillip and I, we drove around town and grabbed as many signs as we

could. Yeah, and I started hashtag singing diva for president on my ding

account.

Bravo, but I have an Epsom salt bath waiting.

Where's the instructor?

I'm your instructor for today.

Somebody want to be woofed early? I didn't say nothing.

Hey, everybody.

I just want to thank everybody for all your love and support on everything.

Let you know I'm fine.

I'll be fine.

Really.

I'm really fine.

That's a lot of I'm fine.

Like one more I'm fine before she lays hands on somebody.

Good to see you in better spirits.

Oh, thank you so much, Mr.

Reginald.

I didn't want to miss the self -defense class.

So, I will be your instructor for today to teach you self -destruction.

So if you...

And you want to learn my technique.

Come follow me.

You are here today because you can't defend yourself.

I am going to teach you techniques taught to me by Grand Master Kung Fu

I will teach you techniques that if someone step to you and say, give me a

substitute.

You will be able to defend yourself today.

Now, watch and learn.

Someone steps to you.

First thing is you must stomp.

Stomp.

The next taste, slap the taste out of their mouth.

Slap it.

Now, choke it.

Now, put it together.

Stomp. Slap.

Choke.

Stomp. Slap. Choke.

Now we must put a twist on it. When you choke, grind it.

Stop. Slap.

Choke.

Stop. Slap.

Choke. Now I want to show you how to grind on the growing.

Grind the growing.

You must first go to the left.

Go to the left.

Now knee to grow it.

Now go to the right.

Go to the right.

Now knee to grow it. Knee.

Knee. Go left.

Go left.

Go left.

Wait,

Carter, you can carry it away. You mad or something?

Mm -hmm.

Okay,

okay, champ.

Hey, you might want to channel some of that energy into giving Lyon and Louisa.

Those are her own medicine.

You know, I got some dudes from the low end that'll come up here, go to her

event, turn them mother out.

Hard pass.

Hard pass, y 'all.

Because right now, I don't know what to do.

Just going to have to let the Lord just guide me.

Yeah.

When they go low, you don't go lower.

The best revenge is to keep your self -respect and dignity.

Because you know, in all things.

Yes, in all things, even bad.

There's a lesson to learn.

Exactly. That sounds good right now. That sounds real good.

Yes. Do you always got to use these Africanisms?

My friend, don't hate it.

Come. I'll teach you some Africanism.

I'll make you African.

I don't want to learn this.

Who lived here?

It's hard.

It's hard. I know, Cora.

I'm so sorry.

Hello?

Yes. Yeah, I understand.

I don't.

I do.

But I don't think that's what's best.

I'll tell you what.

I'll let you know what I decide, okay?

All right.

I'll call you back.

Thanks. Bye.

Let me get your campaign members.

Yep.

She thinks I should just.

Bow out.

Wait. What?

Maybe she's right.

Okay, what else do we know?

Lying Louise drives a Mercedes Benz, wears designer clothes and shoes, but

everything is old and ready.

The woman hasn't been shopping since the 80s.

And one of my honeys, who works at the bank,

said that she saw Louise arguing with a teller about her overdraft account.

So, Lyon Louise is having money problems.

What else do we have?

Well, when I went to get an oil change, I saw that old Mercedes up there. And

she had the letters LL engraved in the seat.

Lyon Louise.

Lyon Louise isn't her real name, so why would she have that engraved in her

seat? That's just what some of the ladies at the church call her.

Small homemade batches with natural ingredients like butter, brown sugar,

and vanilla.

I will investigate for that.

Little cookies, huh?

Enjoy them while you can.

The company's gone belly up.

Bankrupt. Assets frozen and seized.

Officers and board members being investigated for fraud, corruption, tax

evasion, you name it.

Someone give me Lyon Louise's real name.

Hold up.

What kind of investigation are we doing when we don't even know the name of the

person we investigated?

We are not investigators. We are fixers.

We fix things.

We fix ourselves and we fix other people.

That's what we do.

That's who we are.

Guys,

guys, guess what?

What is it, Phillip? Are y 'all supposed to be gladiators?

What is it, Phillip? We're in the middle of a meeting, a really important

meeting. Okay.

Well, look, I had a substitute teacher today, and guess what she brought to

class as a treat?

Tell me that.

I guess pizza.

Wings of a chicken.

Guys, guys, guys, stop guessing.

It was a rhetorical question.

She brought a box of LaRue cookies.

So her name was Miss Louise, but guess what her real name was?

Louise LaRue.

I knew it.

The Demon Lion.

Okay, but look, check this out.

Even though the surveillance system went crazy the other day, cameras were still

recording. And guess what the front camera caught?

Oh, wow.

Let me guess.

Donna and that lying Louise LaRue.

Yeah, they put those nasty campaign signs out.

So you knew?

Yes, I knew.

The Lord put it on my heart to give Donna a call, you know, and show us some

compassion, and I did.

And she just started telling me everything.

Her and her evil sister went cahoots the whole time.

Yeah.

Donna figured if Louise won the election, she could control the finances

meet the right people and get back on her feet again.

Well, thankfully, Cora, the day has been saved and handled.

So, does this mean you're the new president of the board?

Well, I guess so, by default.

No, no, no, Cora, you took the high road.

So God blessed you with that. It's not by default.

It's my God's design.

I guess you're right, F .A.

You know what? Hey, y 'all, let me, let's celebrate, y 'all.

Hey, y 'all, I got to tell y 'all something.

This has been on my, oh, y 'all already done set up a board.

I'm going to tell you this, Cora, because I love you, and I done figured

out for you. I done figured out who's been sabotaging and slaying your name,

Cora. Sabotage. Whatever it is.

Look out here. Y 'all already got it up.

Okay, this right here is Louise Jefferson.

Louise Jefferson is really Louise LaRue.

Jefferson was her ex -husband's last name. He gone on to be with Dolores.

Oh, Dolores?

I don't know if he was Christian or whatever, so I'll just say Dolores in

he was going down to... That's right.

So she is really Donna's sister.

Really? Yeah.

You know what we call you in Africa?

What? JJC. Johnny just come.

Yes, we already know.

You know what we call you in America?

What? Shut up.

No, no, no.

You want this?

Me again.

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