Original subtitles

So what did you decide, Philip?

Are you going to watch the basketball game or are you going to watch that new

movie that'd be ten times better if they had cast me to star in it instead of

that young floozy with an empty hat and full brassiere?

Wow. Well, if I go to the game, then I'll probably see spoilers about the

Then it's ruined. But if I go to the movie, like, what if the game goes into

triple overtime and it's game of the year?

So basically, whatever I decide, I'll regret.

Philip, whatever feelings of regret you have about the choice you make tonight,

trust me, by the time you get my age, it won't even make your list of top 100

regrets.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's your biggest regret?

Oh, that's easy, moving into this dump.

Whoa, shots fired.

I'm kidding, dear.

This place has grown on me, kind of like that itchy bump that Ricardo gave me.

Oh, you know what? That's really my biggest regret.

Sleeping with Ricardo.

Oh, WTMI.

Way too much information.

And now that we're sharing, Philip, what is your biggest regret?

My biggest regret? It's asking what yours was.

You know what?

Scratch all that Ricardo thing.

Lord knows I did a lot.

My biggest regret is actually not getting my college diploma.

Probably too much than flunked out.

No, to the contrary. I made the dean's list all four years.

Now what happened?

Hollywood happened.

I was just two weeks away from finishing my final class, and I got a call from

my agent about this big audition.

So I packed my suitcases, hitchhiked west, and the rest is history.

Well, I wouldn't say that's a regret.

I mean, people go to college to learn how to make money while you are making

more money than all your professors combined.

Perhaps. But my dear mother was so disappointed.

I mean, she had high hopes that I would be the first person in our family to

graduate from college.

And she never forgave me.

I mean, it's not too late to go back.

Oh, darling, I love to, but I'm afraid my time machine is on the fritz.

No, I mean, go to a local community college and transfer the unit.

That's, oh no, it's been too long.

A diploma is a diploma, and nowhere on it does it say how long it took you to

get it.

That's true.

There's already a name for people that take extra time to graduate.

They're called super seniors.

You know what, Philip?

You can call me a super senior citizen because Anastasia

Devereaux is going back to college.

No matter what you do, I love you. No matter where you go, I'm behind you for

sure. Always remember, yeah.

We'll make it if we stay together.

Welcome, everyone, to the first annual Walkathon for Charity Challenge.

I just want to thank you guys for your kindness and generosity and volunteering

your time and efforts on today.

Okay, wait a minute. And look, I want to let y 'all know there's going to be no

half -stepping. Because Pledgeable Years assists a living facility across the

street. They challenge us.

Now, the first facility to walk the most miles?

When? And we got to beat them bums.

And by bums, you mean those people that have a jacuzzi in every bathtub.

If you want bubbles in your water, make your own jacuzzi.

All right, gentlemen, everyone will be wearing these fitness trackers.

These will send every motion that you take and also send every

step that you walk to the Walkathon app. Okay, now, before we get to that, this

is very important.

I'm going to have to teach y 'all how to walk right.

What rubbish?

I've been walking since I was a baby.

And you've been walking wrong.

I'm gonna show y 'all if we gonna learn how to do this you got to learn how to

walk right now watch and learn how to walk walk

See that? Mr. Brown, you look like you want to make pee pee.

I'm not walking like that. Hard pass for me, Mr. Brown.

Hard pass. Y 'all don't worry about Mr. Brown.

You don't have to walk any special way.

Mr. Brown, why don't you say something like that? Look, no pressure, guys.

All you have to do here in this neighborhood, all of this is just for

okay? For charity. And bragging rights.

Because we're going to win these these fellas that got to learn how to walk

fast. Oh, what do you mean these fellas?

What about you?

I ain't walking nowhere. Why not?

Because if I'm walking, who's going to be on the sideline yelling encouraging

words to y 'all? Walk, walk.

No, uh -uh. Who's going to be doing this?

Are y 'all going to yell them to each other? No, because you're going to be

tired. Of course, where's the chair than the umbrella? I got to go get under

this.

Oh, look, look, look at this useless mom.

Ain't nobody useless.

Walk it like I taught you. Walk it.

Walk. I'm out.

I'm out. I'm out.

I'm tightening your butt.

These are my volunteers.

Stop walking so hard. You're going to tear up our floor.

You're messing up everything, Mr. Brown. What were you walking? No, I don't.

You need to walk, too. You need to walk, too.

Curl. What?

I was looking under your bed. What about under my bed? You had snacks.

You need to walk, too. Come on.

Mr. Brown, that is...

Oh, Miss Anastasia, how was your first day of school?

It was absolutely, positively the worst day of my

entire life.

What happened?

I got totally lost on campus, and then I couldn't find my class.

They didn't give you a map?

Not one that I can use.

Instead of a normal map that's printed out on paper that works, they gave me

some stupid digital thing that I had to download or somehow access online.

Hey, so you've never even made it to your class?

Well, actually I did.

Because when this damsel finds himself in a stressful situation, I rely on

something that can get me out of any situation.

Right, your brain power.

No, silly.

My feminine.

Wow.

So, I just hike up my dress and show a little calf

like this.

And then I put my hand to my forehead like this. And I did a little proud face

like this.

And, uh,

and that worked?

It didn't work.

Three Husky sophomores offered to show me to my class in under 10 seconds.

You know, the next time you're in a jam, you have to try it.

Somehow, I don't think that'll work for me.

But once you got to class, everything was good, right?

I was even more lost.

The syllabus, all the assignments, the homework, and even the textbooks are all

online. Oh.

Well, maybe you should go to your professor's office hours. They are all

too. And to speak to her, you have to schedule a video chat.

Wow. Well, do you know how to, like, use the e -mail?

Of course I have e -mail.

I just don't remember my password.

That's not a big problem.

No, it isn't.

Because, you know, I don't need e -mail.

I don't need a digital map. I don't need an online textbook.

I don't need anything related to that class for that matter because I quit.

Wait, wait, wait.

You should have seen me sitting there while all those young whippersnappers

learning and answering the professor's questions, and I sat there completely

lost like Boo Boo the Fool.

But you're not a fool. Far from me. I have a new biggest life to regret now.

that it was a good idea to go back to college. I'm done, Phillip.

I'm so excited.

This is so good.

Oh, my goodness.

This is so good.

I just went to the store and get some waters, you know.

I had to make sure y 'all stay hydrated. It's so important since y 'all doing

all this walking.

Oh, yeah, I'm not thirsty.

But that was very thoughtful of you, Miss Coyle. Well, it's the least. that I

can do. You know, I've been tracking you guys on the Walkathon app, and you guys

have been doing, oh, you're killing it out there.

You know, I'm so proud of y 'all putting in all this effort. It's all good.

Oh,

yes, you know, Outlet Walker, y 'all do.

I don't know what to say.

Well, what are you doing on the inside? You have to use the restroom?

No.

Yes. The restroom.

That's a good idea.

I have to use the restroom. Okay.

Oh, hello, Cora.

Oh.

Hey, Mr.

Reginald. Um,

did you forget about the walk -a -thon outside?

It's going on out there? No, I did not.

So, what are you doing on the couch?

Sitting. Or to try it sometime.

Well, um, you know, I've been tracking you guys on the, uh, the walk -a -thon

app, and, you know,

it's saying... that you are moving, but my eyes clearly see that you're sitting

on the sofa.

Well,

you might want to talk about that with the IT department.

IT department?

Look,

let me show you what I did.

So right here, whenever the fan goes back and forth, it counters a step,

Can you believe that?

Look,

this is the breeze of victory.

No, that's the breeze of cheating.

You know what, Mr. Brent? I cannot believe you.

What are you doing?

I'm stopping this foolishness that you've done, and I'm going on the walk

-thon app. and I'm going to cancel all those ill -gotten miles that y 'all

didn't walk.

Cora, what have I ever done to you?

You raised me right. That's what you've done, Mr. Brown.

I cannot believe you.

How could you cheat on the walk -a -thon charity, Mr. Brown?

And all the people at the church who donated and sponsored us, and you're

to do stuff like this. God don't like ugly.

God don't like ugly. God don't like ugly, Mr. Brown.

Since the living facility always beating the brakes off of us, I've got to win.

Well, if you're going to do something, do it the right way.

Cora, I would do it the right way if my walkers wasn't so lazy.

We didn't get a half block down the street before if he said, it's too hot

hear. I said, why is it too hot? You from Africa.

It don't get no hotter than that.

And then Reggie, he talking about the sweat keep coming down my eyes.

It's getting in my eyes. Wipe your eyes. Wipe your eyes. That's all you got to

do. Mr. Brown, let me... If your front door was squeaking, what would you do?

I'd use the back door, Cora.

Mr. Bray, you would grease the hinges.

Okay, Cora, you talking about grease the hinges. We should be talking about

walking thorns.

Mr. Bray, when you were talking about all the complaining and fussing that

was doing, come up with a remedy.

Come up with a remedy.

You mean to come up with something where they won't complain?

Yeah. Oh, okay, well.

Mr. Brand, look, any true soldier will go into battle with his soldiers.

So you want me to walk?

Yes, that's what I want you to do. That's what you should do.

All right. You shouldn't be doing no walking. Do you know how hot it is out

there?

I can't get no blacker. My next stage is blue, Cora. I can't do that. Mr. Brand,

you can walk with me. I'm sweating in your eyes. What kind of example is that?

A good example. I'm the smart one. I don't want to get much to call me.

And it took me a lot of effort to go up in there and get them fans and come back

there and plug all it up. And you're just ungrateful.

Hey, Ms. Anastasia.

I was hoping I could talk to you for a sec.

Phillip, I appreciate your concern.

But I had a wonderful life in Hollywood, and I wouldn't trade it in for

anything, not even a college degree.

So I'm perfectly content with that one.

Oh, no, sorry.

I wasn't coming to try to convince you to go back to school.

I actually want to ask you for a favor.

What is it?

Can you teach me how to use something?

Sure.

I found this in a cupboard upstairs, and it looks pretty cool, but I don't

really know what it is.

Oh, I haven't seen one of these in years.

This is cross -stitch.

I mean, you can make a beautiful embroidery with the needle and thread.

Cross -stitch used to be all the rage.

So you can show me how to use it? Yeah, come. Come sit.

First, you have to thread the needle. Now, that's probably something you've

never done before.

But it gets easy once you get the hang of it.

Do you think I'm dumb because I don't know how to use it?

Evans, no.

You didn't grow up doing this sort of thing, so how could you possibly know

Exactly.

Exactly what?

That's exactly how technology is.

I mean, me and college students today, we grew up with online maps and

everything being online, but you didn't. So you shouldn't feel embarrassed or

dumb or whatever just because you don't know how to do something.

See, I don't know what this is about.

I don't know how to use this, and now I think I need scissors.

You're perfectly fine.

You're quite clever, aren't you?

That's right.

So if I show you how to do this, you'll coach me up on my computer skills.

Actually, I'm not really interested in cross -disciplinary.

What?

So you tricked me into going back to school by Philip.

What?

Oh. Okay, I'm looking.

Oh, my goodness. Come here.

Take a deep breath.

Close one eye.

And then you're going to gently poke it through.

Here, you try.

Okay, fine.

You little trickster, you.

All right, guys, you're looking great. Come on, guys. Come on, me idiot.

It's too hot to be awesome.

It ain't too hot.

That's why we walking inside. Because of you.

Within the air conditioning.

Oh, I got to stop. The sweat is dripping in my eyes.

Sweat dripping in your eyes. That's why I got you the headband. It's soaking it

up like a bitch.

Come on, guys. Come on. Come on.

Move. Move.

Keep it going. Keep it going.

Come on.

Cory, we got it. How we doing? How we doing? Cory, how we doing? Okay.

All right.

According to the walk -a -thon amp, you guys have walked 15 miles.

I'm out.

You can't quit.

I can and I did.

I'm too tired. I'm too old.

And you quitting too?

Mr. Brown, everything has an end.

Except for sausage, which technically has two.

You know what? I can do this myself. I'll finish it myself. Come on, Mr.

Come on, you can do it.

Look at him go. It looks like he's trying to catch something. The only

he's going to catch is a hot attack.

Come on, Mr. Brown.

That's five, four, three, two, one.

Oh, that's a wrap, Mr.

Brown. That's a wrap.

Oh, my God. That is so good.

It's so good. Or did we win?

You used to be proud of yourself.

All right. Look at you.

Yes. I can't feel my land.

Oh, that's all right, Mr. Brown.

It's for a good cause. Did we win?

Yes, y 'all won. Mr. Ray, you won. Hallelujah.

Did we beat them across the street?

That don't matter, Mr. Brown. Yes, it do.

Look, you have raised a whole lot of money for charity.

Oh, this is wonderful.

You know what?

Come on, God. Come on. Come on. I got refreshments for you over here. Come on,

let's celebrate.

All right.

What is it? I can't move.

What? I'm pushing up. You couldn't put a... I'm pushing up. Let me get you a

walk. You didn't even go. You got to hydrate. I think I'm catching a

horse. Okay, hold on. Let me get you some walk. My asthma.

You got it.

What? What?

What? What? What?

What?

So you're going to put me on with that class you know what I'm talking about,

right? Oh, Phillip, you're such a player.

Phillip!

Out of all the red carpet gowns, fantastical movie costumes, and

countless wedding gowns, this is the best

outfit I've ever worn.

Congratulations, Miss Anastasia.

I mean, you finished college and got your degree.

I know my mother is smiling down on me after all this time.

I did it, Mom.

Yeah, I bet she's super proud. I mean, my mom's proud of me when I clean my

rooms.

Thank you for your help and for reminding me of a very valuable lesson.

It's never too late to follow your dreams.

Oh, look who's popular.

Oh, my.

Oh, speaking of which.

I just got a call from some nice college boys that have invited me to a post

-graduation party.

So I am going to be chasing my dreams around.

I'm the college graduate now,

Phyllis. I'm a puppy boy.

You can't bring a plus one?

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