Original subtitles

Would you look at that?

Oh, you like them?

You like it? I just got them, too. Look at that. Bam.

When you do it like that, you can really see them when I'm spinning.

Yeah, I got a bobo deal on them. You buy the shirt and get the pants free, and

they throw in the socks. Look at that.

I'm not talking about that idiot outfit.

I'm talking about my latest commercial.

Oh, is this the one where you've fallen and I can't get up?

Have you ever seen anyone fall so convincingly?

Oh, you really believed it, didn't you?

Yeah, that's because you got acting skills. Guess what you got?

Oh, even so, my agent hasn't offered me one new acting job in weeks.

Well, you should call him, because acting like yours shouldn't go to waste.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Brown. You know, I think I would.

Okay. Ooh, that must hurt when you feel like that.

Hello. This is the Anastasia Devereaux. May I please speak to you?

Oh.

My.

He died?

Oh, my God.

It seems my agent has retired and moved to Tahiti.

What am I going to do now?

Without an agent, I'll never work again.

Okay, Anastasia, calm down.

I'll calm down.

And scene.

Yeah, you're going to be all right. You're going to be okay.

And besides, you got a manager.

Where? Me. I'm your manager.

Give me one day to prove myself.

I got more hustle than Samson got muscle.

I do want to keep acting, and I don't suppose I have another choice.

You guys, don't you even worry.

I'm going to get you more jobs than my shorts got colors. And I'm only going to

take 50%. Oh, fine. We'll see how you... Wait, Mr. Brown, 50 %? No, 5%.

Only 5%. Oh,

Sandra.

Oh, leaving back to college so soon? Yep.

Can't wait to get back on campus.

Oh, it was a great visit.

But she and Jeremy have to get back on the road.

Well, we're so proud of you, dear.

And until next time, remember, boys are just toys.

But knowledge lasts forever.

Focus on the knowledge part.

Text me when you get there, and we'll see you for Thanksgiving, baby.

I don't know. No, Mom. I mean, campus food is pretty amazing.

I'm interested in friends giving up my new college friend.

I'm kidding.

Don't do your mother like that.

Wait, that hug wasn't quite right. A little too much arms.

Straight.

Daddy. Totally nailed it.

All right, we better get on the road if we want to beat traffic. Come on. Wait,

I totally forgot the new jacket Mom got me.

The one you're wearing, baby.

Oh.

No wonder I wasn't cold.

Let me just use the bathroom and then we can hit the road.

Well, you just used the bathroom five minutes ago and you haven't eaten or

drinking since.

I did, didn't I?

Silly me.

Baby girl, why are you stalling?

Define stalling.

Look at the dictionary.

It's in the app.

Hold up.

Tell us what's going on right now.

Okay, fine.

I don't want to go back to college because I hate it there.

Are you happy now?

I found you.

What? Oh, yeah, I'm happy. That tuition was killing me.

Bad timing.

So, Sandra, why are you saying that you hate college when you know that you love

it?

Yeah.

Every time we talk, you describe all your professors as great, and you're

learning all these fascinating things.

Yeah, you go on and on about all the cool people you've met, and then your

makes an excuse for me to get off the phone so y 'all can talk about boys.

Oh, you notice that, aren't you?

Yeah, I ain't stupid.

My doctor told me to remove myself from stressful situations, so, you know, it's

for my heart health.

Okay, so your professors are great. Your friends are wonderful.

Jeremy.

Okay,

baby.

So, I mean, why don't you want to go back to school?

Because my professors are mean and I don't understand the work.

Look, I don't have any friends. I just sit in my room all day, every day being

miserable. What about your roommate?

She's never there.

She's always sleeping over at her boyfriend's.

Things could have been worse.

Sandra, why would you lie to us and tell us that everything is rainbows and

butterflies?

Everybody had all these big expectations for me to go off to college and have

this wonderful experience, but it's not.

It's literally the worst.

Oh, baby.

I just told you guys what you wanted to hear because I didn't want you to be

disappointed in me.

Sandra Washington, we could never be disappointed in you.

Well... Jeremy.

What? I'm saying, what if she got like a tattoo on her forehead and started

dating a mumble rapper or something?

Well, listen, Sandra, as long as you are trying your best, we will never be

disappointed in you.

Really?

Not even if I dropped out?

Dropped out of school? What are you talking about dropping out? See, Mom,

don't listen to your daddy, okay?

If you really don't want to go back to school, we won't force you to.

Dad?

Yeah, whatever your mother say.

Really?

Thanks, guys.

Well, I guess that's settled, but I'm never going back to college.

Yay!

Mr. Manager, what fabulous acting opportunities have you hucked up for me?

I've been out manager -tizing you.

Yeah, okay.

The first job, you may want to sit down for this. This is going to be good. Just

spit it out. Okay.

Okay, the first job I have for you, you will be doing personalized video

messages for your fans.

Excuse me?

Yeah, yeah. It pays $80, and all you got to work is 20 seconds.

Oh, okay. Okay, fine. So whenever I hit record on the camera, you just start

reading. Just come from your heart.

Make it proof.

Okay, make it proof.

Oh, you may want to get on. This is my good side here, so come around here.

is my good side. Are you sure? Did you look in the mirror?

Well, you know you.

I'm just looking at you.

Okay, you go ahead.

Hello, Jerry Lou.

This is the Anastasia Devereaux, star of Stage and Screams. You know, you might

remember me from my movie, Sister from the Blue Lagoon.

What time on set? I think it was a Thursday. No, it was a Wednesday.

The director, he was... It said 20 seconds. Oh, I digress.

Okay. I just want to wish you a very happy birthday.

We done ran out of time now.

It said 20 seconds.

If you ain't going to stay within the time constraints, then you're going to

lose out on this.

Maybe that may not be for you. I don't think that's going to be for you. I got

something else. Okay.

I got, uh, I opened up your account for Only Stands.

Only Stands? Yes. It's a Stands.

Oh, oh, Only Stands. That's where people go in and they pay a monthly fee to

subscribe and then they get to interact with their favorite celebrities. And

that's you. I'd be so happy to answer fan questions about my career. Okay, let

me log in here.

Your password is Alphabet?

Anastasia Devereaux. That's me. It's you. Who else is going to be?

You are my favorite actress.

Can you please show me your... Oh, what?

A minute.

I want to see this.

Anastasia Devereaux.

Girls, never make an appearance without a five -star dinner first. I definitely

wouldn't want to see them with a ten -star dinner. That's no.

Okay, those jobs may not be for you.

That's not for you. But this next job, this next job I have for you, it's going

to take you back to your roots.

It's going to take you back to the live audience.

Oh, Mr. Brown. Look at the people. Look at all the people.

I have to be a job at the theater.

No, it's not the theater.

You're going to be playing the chicken.

A chicken?

Yeah, Big Bama's Country Chicken and Waffles.

You're going to be twirling the sign like they're just... Mr.

Brown, the only feathers I'd ever be caught dead in are on my bar.

It pays $20.

And besides, you get all the chicken wings you can get.

And I get 5 % of the chicken wings, so I'm going to have to get you, give me

some of them pepper wings, give me some hot sauce wings, give me some with the

hopper.

Mr.

Brown.

You better find me a job suitable for an award -winning actress like me, or

you are fired!

Did you just miss me?

Ain't like you got to remember no lines.

Rise and shine!

Oh, good, it's you.

Since I'm grown now... Dad waking me up must be nothing but a silly little

nightmare.

Get that butt up. Come on, come on. It's 8 a .m. Time to attack today. Let's go.

This is why I scheduled my class for the afternoon.

I need to sleep in order to attack.

Yeah, well, you no longer have classes, but you do have chores.

Chores? Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Yes, you're living in my house rent -free now, so you got chores to do.

Sorry, Dad, but it's been so long since I've had chores, I've forgotten what

they are.

Ah, damn.

That's why.

I made you a list.

Great. My eyes are open, and yet somehow the nightmare continues.

Oh, well, it's not a nightmare for your brother. It's like a dream come true,

because somehow his chores have magically been cut in half.

So that's why he was so happy I moved back home.

Yep. So you can start by sweeping the floor, and then you're on dishes duty.

Hey, uh, Courtney texted me about a little get -together tonight.

Nope. I speak teenage girl, and in your language, that translates as a

parentless blowout.

Oh, come on, Dad. It's just going to be a few people.

Translation, a minimum of 200 people, the cops will definitely show up, and

maybe even a helicopter.

Look, okay, it has been so long since I've asked for permission because I've

been living on my own for months. This is kind of a courtesy ask, but can I go?

I mean, I can go, right?

Of course you can go. I want you to see your friends.

Great. Thanks, Dad.

Just be home by 8 o 'clock sharp.

8 o 'clock?

Oh, I'll be home way before then.

Wait, we aren't talking about 8 a .m., right?

I love it.

8 p .m.

You're serious?

Yeah. But I'm in college. I don't even have a curfew.

Correction, you were in college.

Now you live at home with me.

Great. I'll just get started on these fun, amazing chores.

Hello? This is the manager for the Anastasia Devereaux of Stage and Screen.

Yeah, she do movies.

She's in billions of movies.

Like what?

Well, like all the classics. She's in all the classics, yes.

Dracula Goes to Hollywood and Midnight.

Like all the ones with afros and bell bottoms.

What are you going to hang up on me for?

Okay, this is the last number. This is a Hail Mary.

One more number left.

I hope they answer.

Let me get proper.

Hello?

Spike Lee?

Yes.

Larry gave me your phone number down at the barbershop.

He told me to give you a call.

Yes.

Oh, this is not Spike Lee?

I'm about to say do the right thing because she got to have this job.

Oh, this is Mike Lee.

Oh, little Earl Larry must have heard me wrong. I thought, yes.

Yes, Mike.

Yes. Yeah, little Earl Larry is so little.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Thank you.

Oh,

shoot. Man.

Hey, Mr. Brown, what got you so down in the dumps? Cora, I've been trying to

find Anastasia a job everywhere, and I can't find nothing. I even called Vinny

and said, Vinny, you got a hookup? He said, no, I'm up here in Amsterdam in

mountains. And I said, what? Why you can't give me a hookup? He said, I don't

give a Amsterdam.

That sounds right, Mr. Vinny.

Yeah. Cora, I just feel like...

I feel like I've just been striking out. I can't find nothing. Well, don't be so

hard on yourself. I know, Cora. I just, she done put her whole career in my hand

and feel like I'm letting her down. You're not letting her down, Mr. Bram. I

mean, you're trying your best, right?

Yeah. Well, that's all you can do. Cora, I ain't tried this hard to find

something since, since I tried to do the moonwalk. Remember that time you tried?

I forget, yes.

I can just remember all that hard dedication you did and hours and hours

your two socks in your kitchen.

Man, that was awful. And I still couldn't do it. No, you couldn't do it

like an old jalapa stuck in reverse. I mean, I look better than that. I'm a

mess. I got to give you credit. You know, when you was leaning over your

Yeah. You know, I wind up calling. I call the best dancer in our

Uncle Earl. Uncle Earl. He could do the boogaloo. Remember the boogaloo? And he

would do the walk. He was good at the walk.

Oh, the wubby -dubby. Now, he was good at that wubby -dubby. That thing, that

thing. What's the wubby -dubby? Cora, I will show you, but the last time I did

the wubby -dubby, I wound up tearing up all my ligaments in my back.

That's the lesson in it, Mr.

Brown. That's all right. Yeah, that's the lesson.

The lesson is, if you're going to ever learn a new dance move, consult the

physician first. No, when you find yourself in over your head, it's okay to

professional help.

Well, very well, Cora.

I think I forgot. You done done something, Cor. I think I'm going to

make a call. The super manager got to make a call to somebody here. Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Five, five, five, five, five, one, two, one. Who are you calling, Mr. Berkowitz?

That's a lot of numbers. Cor, it's long distance. Okay, but your finger's so

big, how are you hitting the numbers?

Cor, because I got a special phone, and if you went all over my thing, you would

know. Oh.

Now, Berkowitz, that's why people get private shields.

Okay.

I'm your daughter. You can share them with me. No, I can't.

You'd be the nose one. This would be the one to find out all your stuff and

steal your credit card.

Hello?

First, Dad wakes me up. It's a crackdown for labor.

Then Philip thinks of my brand new jacket. Tonight I have to leave the

before anyone even gets there.

It's so annoying. I can't.

for the day?

Um,

so, oh, do you always, like, lay on the sofa with your shoes on it like that?

Oh, sorry, I just, I'm not like that at the top on the dorm. I just picked up a

bad habit, I guess.

Oh, it's okay. I understand. I get it.

You know, so what we got planned for the day, you know, and, oh, why is the

broom here in the living room? Is this where it goes? Like,

in the middle of the floor for somebody to trip over it.

Okay. Actually, I was just sweeping and wanted to take a little break.

Oh, okay.

Well, good. You know what? I'm so sorry because I've really been trying, you

know,

since I've been a teacher for so long, try not to go back into my teacher's

mode. You know, sometimes being that rule enforcer.

Really? Yeah. That's really hard.

I don't know this.

You know, I realize that I'm not in the classroom and Thunder is not.

In the third grade.

Totally fine.

Oh, I'm headed to the cafeteria.

Would you like a juice box? A PBJ?

I can cut the edges off for you. Fruit cup?

I'm all right, Cora. Thanks.

Okay. Food yourself.

Hi, Sandra.

I see your parents have turned you into a regular Cinderella, haven't they?

Say that again.

Have I ever told you about the time I played Cinderella off -Broadway?

Oh, only once or twice or 50 times.

Oh, you've been off to college for so long, you've probably forgotten a lot of

the details. I'll tell you again.

No, no, no, it's all right. Back in the 70s, I used to have a thing for men in

disco boots and that gloriously thick chest hair.

A woman used her wedding ring. Mom! I'm just ready to go back to college.

Instinct.

What did you say?

You're ready to go back to school.

Yes, I'm more than sure.

I mean, being back here has taught me that as much as I love this place, I'm

ready to go back to college and be on my own.

Far away.

Well,

it's normal for freshmen to take a while to find their footing, baby.

Right? You just might have to put a little work into it. More work?

Okay, for instance, your professors might not be mean.

They may just have tons of students, right?

And not able to provide the, I don't know, one -on -one instruction that

used to.

I guess that makes sense.

Yeah, and look, if you don't understand something, go knock on their door for

those office hours, girl. Show up.

And friends aren't going to come to you.

You have to get out, get involved. It's clubs, you know? Clubs? Okay.

Not those kind of clubs.

Okay, I'm talking about campus clubs.

Based off your interests, baby.

Yeah. I mean, and, you know, I need you to stay your butt out of those other

kind of clubs.

I'm not playing with you, okay?

Okay. I can definitely work on getting more involved.

All right.

And your father and I are always here to support you, baby.

Anytime. Anything you need.

Thanks, Mom.

Mm -hmm.

I'll go pack.

All right.

Ridgewell, fill it up.

No additions today? I'm afraid not.

Mr. Brown was a sub -part manager and was unable to find me one single measly

acting job.

Oh.

Hello.

Yes, this is Anastasia Devereaux, star of stage and screen. How may I help you?

Oh.

My.

Oh, yes.

Yes, I'd be delighted.

Oh, thank you.

Yes. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Who was that?

Who? Anything.

That was my own agency.

Things my manager called them and delivered such a passionate pitch about

an amazing actress I am that a new agent there is.

on my behalf. My new agent already has two new auditions for me next week.

you deserve it. You deserve it. Oh, and it's all because of my super manager.

It is.

It is because of me.

We are going to do big things together, right?

Nuh -uh.

What happened to your suit? And why aren't you carrying your briefcase?

Because I'm retired.

No, this show business stuff is too hard for me. That's why I'm glad I kept the

receipt on that briefcase so I can return that sucker.

She's following me around. I had a girl following me around from the store

talking about getting me in a movie.

She's trying to show me something.

Where you going, manager?

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