Original subtitles

Gee, oh, Miss Anastasia.

I can always count on you to come with something different.

I like my tea like my men, darling.

Each day I prefer to enjoy a new one.

Ah.

Icaro Anastasia.

You are as beautiful as the new dawn, peeking over the crest of the mighty

Kilimanjaro. You're as lovely as you.

On rose petals.

With it.

Good morning, F .A.

Well, how do I look?

It's normal.

Back to you, Anastasia.

It is a blessing to be in the presence of such a radiant beauty.

Oh, F .A., what is going to do?

I am just expressing stuff from the bottom of my heart.

A heart that only beats for Anastasia.

Allow me.

What in the world has gotten an F .A.? The same thing that gets into all men

when I'm around, darling. What's that?

Cupid's M.

Hey! Where did my love go?

It doesn't matter.

I will follow her perfume.

Oh, my goodness.

Phillip's favorite teacher. So what do I owe the pleasure?

Well, Phillip is one of my best students, so I stopped by to ask if he'd

represent our school in the state's history essay contest.

Oh, my goodness.

That's wonderful. That's such a great idea.

And since I never like to show up empty -handed, I baked you some sugar cookies.

With a heart.

My favorite?

How did you know? Oh, I remember how much you liked them at the open house.

Because you kept eating them and eating them.

And then you ate them so much. Can you hear me? I'm telling you, Lord.

Mr. Leroy Brown.

Miss Kimberly Park.

Nice to meet you.

Oh,

hey. How you doing?

What's your name?

So, Leah.

Yeah? Would you and Jeremy be open to Philip entering the contest? I mean, if

wants to. Yes, yes, yes.

Whatever you want.

Yes, he would like you.

Only if you can come back and help him with the project.

Unless it's an inconvenience, I'd be happy to meet him in the library.

What? You know what?

We got stuff around here. See, we got muffins.

We got tables.

You got fruit.

It's fruit.

You know what?

I think it would be a great idea for Phillip to represent his school.

But I do think we should ask. Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah. You go ahead and ask him.

No, no, no. Walk alone and ask him.

Actually, I think I'm going to text him and tell him to come on down.

Mr. Brown, I am not leaving you alone with this sweet woman.

But you like her.

Are you wrong? I'm afraid I don't like her.

I'm in love with her.

I'm in love with a teacher.

Maybe she can teach me some stuff.

I'm going to tell you.

I'm going to put some salt in my drink.

I'm going to blow our kid.

The Louisiana Purchase.

Oh yeah, I like the Louisiana Purchase myself.

And I wind up going to this place and I out of me, he's like, let me have a

hurricane. And I got the hurricane, I drunk that thing. I said, whoa, this

had me Disney.

I said, y 'all gotta give me a reefer or something.

Mr. Brown, come on now, let them concentrate. Come on down now, come on.

it's fine.

Oh, it's fine. The next step is crafting your thesis statement and writing your

outline. Do you think you can have that done by next Wednesday?

No.

Yeah, that's a secret.

Ain't no need to wait until we easy.

Why do tomorrow or yesterday what you can do right now?

You know what?

Phillip has to rake all the leaves in the backyard, so... No, he don't. Yeah.

I'm going to hire Gardner. You coming back?

Awesome. Well, he got to clean his room, Mr. Brian. That right, Phillip? No, he

don't. Well, I'm going to hire some maid service to come right in there and just

make it right on up.

Nice. Yeah.

I have you to know that the children...

are our future.

And there's nothing more important than the education.

See, I don't believe that kids are our future.

I believe that they are our now.

Oh, I couldn't agree more.

Thank you so much.

Wait, wait, no, wait. Ms. Parks might have some other things to do this

afternoon than come over here. Leah!

Please!

You know there ain't nothing more important than educating the kids.

Actually, my schedule is open. I could come back, say around 4 o 'clock.

Three o 'clock.

Four o 'clock, we're too late.

Three o 'clock it is.

Leah, enjoy the cookies.

Yes, girl. Oh, she's been enjoying them. Whatever you put in them, she like

them.

Leroy, it was a pleasure meeting you.

Phillip, I can't wait to see what brilliant hotline you come up with.

Oh, thank you.

It's good to see you.

Listen here, Ms. Parks is the sweetest woman I know.

Mr. Brown, I'm not going to let you drive her up a wall with your

can't have that on my conscience.

She's so sweet and she's so pretty and stuff.

And ain't nobody ever made me feel the way she made me feel.

Sam, I don't mean Mr. Bronston's here.

You're just saying that because he's paying all them contractors to do your

chores, boy. What?

What? Look at that face.

No, go back to the other.

This fruit packet is for you. Oh, I'm not hungry.

Oh, no, you don't understand.

This packet represents my productive label.

And... The beginning of our courtship. Where I'm from, courtship officially

starts in El Dorado's back seat.

Well, you don't understand.

Our courtship will be traditional, I assure you.

Oh, Effie, I think you're an amazing person, but I'm really not interested in

some stuffy courtship.

We have gifts.

Not that damn fruit.

No.

Gifts. of extreme value.

Now you're speaking my language.

I love gifts, diamonds especially.

I purchased a big gift for you. So big it could not fit inside here.

Come, let me show you.

Is it a luxury sedare?

With a seat warmer to toast, my boss? Something even more valuable.

Can't wait to see it.

It is milk to drink, and it can feed a family for months.

Kathy, we have grocery stores here.

No, no, you don't understand. I know that we have grocery stores here.

In fact, we have many grocery stores back at home.

But the gift of livestock is a grand gesture to say that I will always

take care of you.

Well, isn't that romantic?

And honestly, I also got it because I wanted to see Mr. Brown's face.

When he steps into cow poopoo.

Efe, don't get me wrong.

I mean, I understand. I'm not surprised at all why you've fallen in love with

me.

Your vision is 2020.

But we've known each other for quite some time, and we've always just been

friends. Why does that change?

Anastasia, we have a saying in my country.

Love.

Like rain.

There's no truth to glass upon which it falls.

Nor when.

We have a saying of ours here, too.

Effie, when you like something, then you should put a ring on it.

I'm so glad you brought that up. Oh, Effie, I was just kidding.

Anastasia Devereaux, will you make me the luckiest man in the world?

Will you marry me?

Anna, Dr. Deborah, will you marry me?

Oh, Effie, I can't.

Am I not handsome?

Oh, of course you're handsome.

Am I not wealthy?

Well, I don't know. I haven't seen your bank statements.

It's none of those things.

What is it?

Effie, I don't believe you love me, do you?

Oh, uh... It's not a hard question. Either you love someone or you don't.

of course.

Then say it. Say what?

That you love me. Oh, you.

Oh, yes.

What was that? A little more clearly.

I love you.

Effie, I have spent most of my life in Hollywood.

I've seen good acting and bad acting. And yours was neither. It was us.

Oh, okay, Anastasia, you're right.

I don't love you like that. But we have a thing in my country that a happy man

marries the woman he loves. But an even happier man loves the woman he marries.

But why do you want to marry me?

I don't want to marry you.

I need to marry you.

Oh, that won't be the first time I've heard that, but I'm usually smoking a

cigarette in bed.

But why do you need to?

I got a call from the INS.

My visa is expiring, and they will deport me back to my country unless I

an American citizen.

Now, say, why didn't you just say so?

I just... I love it here at Pleasant Day, and I just thought you would say

so I...

Maybe I'll sweeten the deal with a little bit of romance.

Well, I'm sorry you wasted your time.

Because of course I'll marry you.

You will?

Weddings are like potato chips. Once you've had a handful, what's one more?

This is fantastic.

But the ceremony has to be tonight. Not my first shotgun wedding either.

Wait, wait, wait.

You can tell them.

But they have to believe that we're in love.

Why? If the INS knows it's a sham wedding, I will still be deported.

But you will spend five years behind bars.

Leah asked me to help you impress Philip's teacher.

Now, I think it best we begin with you speaking the king's English.

Oh, I know the king's English.

I have a dream.

I'm not Martin Luther King, Mr.

Brown.

I mean proper English. That's what I'm here for.

Well, everybody won't talk no proper English. What's the point?

That you just made it. The word you're trying to pronounce is point.

This is about articulation.

Okay, what's the point?

You got a point to point.

Now, I think before we begin, I think it's best that we...

Find a base level of knowledge so that we know how far we need to go.

Now, repeat after me. Okay, let me.

The strawberry across the street was delicious.

The strawberry across the street was delicious.

On Valentine's Day, I specifically drank an espresso

and ate shrimp.

On Valentine's Day, I pacifically drank espresso and ate scrim.

With what do you change the TV channel?

Okay, now I ain't stupid.

Emote control.

Okay, listen, just beyond my health.

Look here, don't nobody need to learn a whole bunch of talking. I've been

talking since I was little.

Let me ask you something.

Ask?

I ain't going to be cussing.

Ask. You want to ask a question? Well, that's what I said. Ask a question.

You think you can help me get Miss Parks to like me?

Well,

maybe you could show an interest in her hobbies.

Demonstrate that you have something in common.

Perhaps you could brush up on your knowledge of history.

Oh, that's good.

You think if I do that, she's going to like me? Oh.

Yeah, I think I had a chance. Oh, I definitely think you have a chance, Mr.

Brown. Let me ask you something.

When's the last time you had something?

Uh -oh.

In a long time.

Mr. Manon, I want you to see.

Reggie, can you follow me into the living room?

Anastasia and I have an announcement we'd like to make. Really?

You are marrying?

this man?

She most certainly is.

Why, you and Effie go together like peanut butter and mayonnaise.

Have you ever eaten peanut butter and mayonnaise since the quiet days?

What about our plan to visit the Roman Colosseum one day?

I, too, I'm taking her to Rome. Tomorrow.

Oh, yes, Rome, Georgia. I have a cousin, and he's there.

Very nice. Thanks, please.

Rachel, stop this.

I know an attack is a prize.

But, as they say in my country... What

about our tea dates, our walks around the

grounds,

the time you... Forced me to watch your entire catalog of movies in one

excruciating sitting.

Does that mean nothing now?

Reginald, it means something. It meant something better.

It meant that it pushed me closer to my one true love, Effie. No!

I refuse to believe that you two are in love. Effie!

What is her favorite color?

Look at you. Simple question.

Anastasia's favorite color is... Efe, have you seen Mr. Brown?

I'm looking for brown.

He's outside cleaning the cow poopoo from his shoes.

Her favorite color is red.

See, this man knows nothing about you.

You should be marrying me.

You wear black... socks with your thunder.

Is that not correct?

That's correct. Take that back. You also wear dress socks. Gentlemen, gentlemen,

don't argue over little old me. Yes, because your hand has already been

Because tonight, maybe Anastasia Devereaux will become Mrs.

Anastasia.

Kimberly, that's for you.

Why, thank you, Leroy. Yeah.

I hope I'm not interrupting that.

Y 'all talking about history?

Yeah. Oh, I have you to know I'm quite the history bluff.

You don't mean the history bluff.

I like history.

I'm really, I'm kind of somewhat mediocre in history. I like it. I'm

at it. You like history? Since when?

I know history.

I'll tell you what.

Ask me anything about history. Just give me a little history quiz.

I know history.

I done lived it.

You sure you want to do that? Yeah, I got your history book and I'll study it.

All right, I'm a person. Okay, go ahead.

Okay, Leroy. Mm -hmm. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

Easy. That's easy.

At the bottom.

Oh.

What do Attila the Hun and Alexander the Great have in common? They both have

the same little name.

Duh.

What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?

Because she can't sit.

That's what I should stand for.

There's something else, Mr. Brown. Well, thank you. Thank you.

Just give me my A and just let's... What grade did I get? How many did I get,

right? Oh.

Is that 100?

Leroy,

I'm afraid none of your answers were correct.

None of them?

None. All this time I'm trying to impress you because I really like you

trying to make like we got something in common and we don't.

You just smart and I'm just a big old dummy.

Leroy, wait.

Don't say that.

You are very, very smart.

Yes, I am.

Yes.

There is more than one kind of intelligence.

And I believe Leroy may be a genius.

See? She said I'm a genius.

He displayed such a quick and clever mind with his answers.

I did?

He did?

And you made me laugh and laugh.

I hear you laughing.

Oh, believe me, I was in stitches on the inside.

I held in my laughter because I would never want to hurt your feelings.

Oh, you ain't got the hole in your laugh. I like to make people laugh.

See, so there is something that we have in common, because I love to laugh.

And I like to make people laugh.

So you may have failed your history quiz, but you got an A -plus in my

gradebook.

Hey, hey, hey. Ask her out. Ask her out. Right now?

Yes. I'm nervous.

Will you go out?

We could go for a walk around the grounds. I mean, if you're not busy.

Shut up.

That's a yes.

Nobody else.

Together. Shut up.

No, don't say nothing else. I don't want you to change your mind.

It's a date.

I'm going to get ready.

I think I'm going to jump on the couch.

Shut up.

Don't say nothing else.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to talk about this crazy thing

life.

That's the word.

Ashes to ashes, dust. No, that's the funeral.

If there's anybody here to see why this couple besides me shouldn't be joined in

holy mattress morning, let him speak now or forever.

Go to pieces.

Sit down.

Anastasia Devereaux of stage and film.

Do you take the... Hold on, hold on. What? That can't wait?

You can't do that after your... Hello?

Yes?

Your TV.

Okay, thank you, thank you.

That was the INS.

There was a paperwork error.

My visa's not expiring.

The wedding is off.

Listen up.

She's all yours.

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