Original subtitles

This is Diondra Tundra, live at City Hall,

where we are moments away from finding out

who will serve as interim mayor

while Mayor Peppers undergoes a reverse vasectomy.

While he's getting his junk back,

we're getting a town hall snack.

They're talking about you, babe.

Well, now, let's not jinx it.

While write-in votes are yet to be counted,

according to exit polls,

Councilperson Roy and Council Eagle Toby

are neck and feathered neck with Wolf Tobin,

seen here in his official campaign photo.

Babe, I think you really are going to frang the dang thing.

Well, don't count out those write-in votes just yet.

Lone Moosers love a write-in.

They get their head turned pretty easily.

Indeed. Last time Mayor Peppers was out,

everyone wrote in Mrs. Laramie just because she'd given out

full-sized candy bars for Halloween the previous fall.

Well, now she's been dead for five years.

So I just might frang this.

Mr. and Mrs. Michelle Obama?

Of course, I'd love to start a podcast together

Whoo! I can't wait to give the town of Lone Moose

a full-sized bar called my heart.

So, does Lone Moose always elect a short-term mayor

when the regular mayor takes a sick day?

Only when anesthesia is involved.

Otherwise, Lone Moose officials pride themselves

on unnecessarily powering through illnesses.

Our last mayor passed a kidney stone

while reading to first graders at the library.

If You Give a Moose a Muffin

gets pretty existential when screamed.

Jerry, would you like any more boneless barbecue bacon bites?

No, thanks, I'm full.

Did I tell you they were free?

You did, like a dozen times.

Jerry, these guys are very weird about free stuff.

- They can't resist it. - This is Alaska.

If someone offers you anything for free,

you take it and you run like hell.

- Yeah. Yeah. - That's true.

This is it. They're announcing the final results.

With all the votes counted, Wolf Tobin does have the lead...

Woo-hoo!

Among official candidates.

But the actual winner is a write-in.

Wolf Tobin was hoping to take home a win tonight,

but Honeybee Shaw-Tobin beat him to it.

Wait, I won? Wolf, I'm-I'm...

Yeah...

it's all right, I...

Aw, babe, You know I'd never win against you on purpose.

Unless it was some kind of fun casino scheme

where we split the profits after.

You know, maybe I'll just have

a little drink to, celebrate.

But I should probably open this campaign champagne

outside so I don't risk injuring our new interim mayor.

It's not a big deal that you didn't win, Wolf.

You're better than this.

Having a hot wife that everyone likes much, much more than you

is no reason to be jealous.

Yeah, what's important is that you tried your best

and instead it went someone who didn't try at all.

Why isn't this making me feel better?

Aah! Susan Sarandon's brother Brandon, that hurt.

Okay, I'm gonna go back in there and be supportive.

It's like the Rolling Stones say,

"You can't always get what you want, but your wife can.

And that's okay, too, because maybe she'll have leftovers."

Did somebody say Lone Moose has a sexy new mayor

with a strong, supportive husband?

So, you're not upset about losing?

I was for a second, but now I'm 100% behind you

and ready to hitch my wagon to your caboose.

- Toot-toot! - Well, okay, then.

Because now that it's sunk in, I'm pretty excited.

I've always wanted a chance to have some real responsibility.

At the curtain store, it felt like Dad would never

let me in on the big decisions like which new styles to order.

Or how long to let a customer stay in the bathroom

before giving a concerned knock.

Well, here's your first decision as mayor:

would you like a hooray hug or a congratulations kiss?

Ooh, both.

See, I'm gonna be great at this.

And I'm going to be great at standing right beside you

every step of the way.

It'll almost be like I'm mayor, too.

Yeah, but I'm actually the mayor.

Of course, of course.

Honeybee Shaw-Tobin, with the power vested in me,

I hereby appoint you Interim Mayor.

You're done. I assumed there'd be like a ball,

with like a live orchestra, and maybe Elsa's there

and she freezes the town, and then Hans...

You're in a Frozen spiral, sweetie.

- Right, right. - You do get to wear the sash.

Sorry, there's a little mustard stain on it from the last guy.

I should be fully recovered by 8:00 a.m. tomorrow,

and then I'll be ready...

to be your next American Idol.

Sorry, the medication might be kicking in a little.

Don't worry, Mayor Peppers, Lone Moose is in great hands.

Here's your coffee, my governmental goddess.

They didn't have any milk,

so I used a little dollop of sour cream.

And I did have to use a stapler as a stir stick

and one staple did get in, but I fished it right out.

You're... staying?

Yeah. I figured, since I did all that research

on Lone Moose for my campaign,

I might as well keep my brain right here for you to pick.

Okay, that's fine.

I bet even Beyoncé brings Jay-Z to work sometimes

in case she needs someone

to get her a new mouse pad or something.

You're going to sit right here?

Right over my shoulder? Okay.

Like a little guardian angel. Or a very erotic parrot.

- Terrific. - Ca-caw, ca-caw!

Polly wants some politics.

Good morning, Interim Mayor Honeybee and regular Wolf.

Good morning, Councilperson Gwen, Stephanie.

Tell me everything I need to know about interim mayoring.

You can use the private bathroom,

you can print anything you want all day,

and some people like to bang the gavel in the meeting room.

You brought your computer.

Yes, but don't mind me,

just taking some notes.

"Honeybee bang gavel, comma, go potty."

Wait, so that's all I do today?

I don't make any decisions?

You can decide where we order lunch from.

But don't leave leftovers in the fridge.

That's my pet peeve.

Ready to go bang the gavel?

- I guess. - Ding ding!

Ding ding!

Why did you take away the counter bell?

Vera's here with her daily complaints.

We took away the bell because she just rings it

and rings it when the mayor won't see her.

Now she just yells till she falls asleep,

and then we put her in her car.

Well, send her in.

Are you sure? She's terrible.

I can handle it. I'm the mayor.

That's what I'm here for.

Ding ding! Ding ding!

Hello, new idiot.

I'd like to move my fence

- five feet back and... - Done!

Wait, really?

Okay, I just need you to sign this.

Actually...

Only five feet, right?

That's like the five-second rule, but with distances.

Just a moment, my nubile notary...

Do I not have the power to do this?

Well, you do, actually.

But there's actually a whole process

for re-fencing in Lone Moose,

and I do recommend we follow it

because just to the northwest...

We can circle back to this riveting geography lesson later.

- It's a yes. - Thanks.

I'm glad I voted for you as a joke.

That was awesome.

I feel so energized and powerful,

like a Lady Cocaine Bear.

So, you don't just want to spend the day

looking for giant scissors and asking if we have nukes?

I definitely will do both of those things,

but I'm here to help, too.

Okay, in that case,

I have a small proposal I'd love to run by you.

There are no small proposals, just small mayors.

Which, to be clear, is different than short kings,

who I love and respect.

See, Lone Moose has had a noise curfew of 8:00 p.m.

since the 1800s, originally put in place

when the home harpsichord was invented,

and it's really a bummer for the karaoke night I host.

Stephanie, no.

If I can't sing the entire soundtrack

to Broadway's Liam Neeson's Taken: The Musical

at my own party, is this even America?

Not to me. Where's that bill?

Now, Honeybee, I don't want to Wolf-splain this to you,

but in a small Alaskan town,

even the tiniest decisions can be a big deal.

You would not believe the brouhaha that erupted

when the city council let two different coffee shops

call themselves Brew-Ha-Ha's.

Well, thank you for your input, constituent Wolf,

but I am capable of making decisions.

I'm sorry, my Sonia Sexy-mayor.

It's just that I did do a lot of preparation for this job.

Right, but now it's my job.

And we're talking about fences and music here,

not world peace.

Bam! Now, Stephanie, send out an email blast

letting people know I'll be holding

mayoral office hours for the rest of the day.

And add the fun GIF where a dog keeps barking

at a poster of Reba.

Now, that's gonna get some heinies in hallways.

Speaking of which, I'm thinking I move this chair back around

and then we'll each put one butt cheek on yours?

Or, if you have other errands

to do or something, I'm good.

Nope, I'm free as a turd.

If it's not too much trouble...

- Well, actually, babe... - Approved.

- Now, hon, if it were me... - I'm gonna say yes, Dorothy.

You make a girl want to start paying her taxes again.

Well,

if it isn't Lone Moose's first family.

Congratulations on being related to the interim mayor.

Thank you. It's an honor

to have someone in the family

be recognized by the town.

Mom got recognized a lot,

but mostly for pretending to be a mermaid

off the docks when she drank too much Zima.

You know, I'd love to get a picture

of Mayor Honeybee up on the wall today.

- What's in it for us? - Well...

I didn't think I'd be hungry,

but special treatment really works up an appetite.

I'll admit getting free pies from Maude's

was an unexpected and appreciated indulgence.

But let's not let this go to our heads.

Hey, Tobins. Got some new samples in.

Don't suppose you'd like to take them for a spin?

Maybe Honeybee sees something she likes

and pops down for a picture I can throw on our website?

Well, it'd be rude not to at least look.

Wow, it's only 2:00, and I've already made

more decisions in one day than I made

in all the time I worked at the curtain shop.

Is there a level above girlboss?

You know, maybe this afternoon you and I sit here

and carefully go over every decision you've made thus far.

See if there's any you want to un-decide.

Actually, Wolf, you know, I was thinking

maybe you could work at home for the rest of the day.

'Cause I've been noodling

on a very special project for you.

Lone Moose has a lot of small town charm,

but are we maximizing it?

- Great question. - I want you to take this phone book...

Someone just got a PhB.

And call everyone in town

and ask them if they have any quirky skills

that we can put on the Lone Moose tourism website.

This idea absolutely cranks.

Great. And I'll stay here and, you know, be the mayor.

Which I was elected to be. While you're more

behind the scenes. At home.

Hell yes.

You'll be like Kamala Harris and I'm...

I want to say Gary?

- Doug. - And I'll be Doug.

Well, we're just hours into the Honeybee administration,

and the town is positively buzzing.

She's talking directly to the people

and she's saying yes to easing their distress.

Just ask Dorothy Tuntley.

Honeybee rescinded the skinny-dipping ban.

Now if I want to hit the lake on my property

in what God granted,

it's between me and the super hot owl in my pine tree.

There you have it.

If you've got a worry, come see the mayor in a hurry.

Fresh air, the night sky.

And getting absolutely hammered.

I'm talking permitted outdoor alcohol consumption.

I don't know. Moose-hunting within town limits

seems kind of dangerous.

Moose are the dangerous ones.

I found one in my den going through my DVDs.

It ate my copy of Michael Douglas's The Game.

That bastard.

Approved.

Go for Mayor Honeybee.

This is the First Husband.

What you doing?

I'm at work, which you know

because it's where you called me.

So true.

Thought you might want to hear how the project is going.

I finished. Ha! Got a lot of good quirks.

For instance, did you know that Daniel Strunk

has a beaver cemetery in his backyard?

He's laid hundreds of our flat-tailed friends to rest.

Amazing. Just, email it all over.

Actually, if I leave now,

I can head on in and get caught up

on everything that's happened since I left.

Hold on, someone's talking to me.

What's that? Mayor-mergency?

Sorry, babe, got to go.

Ha.

That's a busy little Honeybee.

But this Wolfy worker bee is just as busy.

I know.

Busy making a romantic as all heck dinner,

to celebrate the end of Honeybee's mayoral term.

Now, where are the pizza rolls?

I can't believe I've wasted my life

wearing wool socks when I could be wearing the full sheep.

My feet are sweating,

which normally would make them cold,

but then these boots just warm them up again.

This confusing sensation is certainly worth

a few moments of Honeybee's time.

Yoo-hoo, Tobins.

Y'all look so important.

Well, we're having a special on free makeovers

for people who are on their way to see Mayor Honeybee.

Well, gals, I guess that's all she wrote, literally.

Okay, let me just get Wolf's leftovers for you

since he forgot them here, which is weird...

since there's a sign on the fridge

and I did issue a verbal warning...

Did you guys get me a singing congrats-o-gram?

Hear ye, hear ye.

I, Jeremy Reuben, the duly elected town crier

of Whippleton hereby notify you that Whippleton

formally declares war against Lone Moose.

Wait, Whippleton is declaring war? Gwen, Stephanie?

Can they do that? Like, actual war?

With fighting and cargo pants and stuff?

Whereby Lone Moose did encroach upon Whippleton

by a distance of five feet upon our border,

which is, according to the Treaty of 1989,

considered to be an act of war,

war is therefore duly declared.

Thank you for listening.

I'll see you on the battlefield.

May I use your restroom?

I had two grape Fantas on the drive over.

You're home, finally.

The pizza rolls are cold,

but we could, reheat them if you know what I mean?

I'm kind of in the middle of some important city business.

I thought you were handing

the reins back to Mayor Peppers.

W-What's so important that it can't wait

until after this elegant retirement feast,

my Delicious-Beth Warren?

Lone Moose is at war.

Wait, like Lone Moose Lone Moose?

Yes, and I'm just about to head to the front.

Where's our emergency stash of peppermint bark?

I need a peace offering.

This is about Vera's fence?

Wait, how did you...

The 1989 land treaty.

I tried to tell you this morning.

You tried to tell me?

You did not say anything about a war.

I mean, I was going to, but...

Look, I'll just head out there with you

and fix this problem...

No, I don't need my husband rushing in to save me.

I'm not saving, I'm helping.

I've been trying to help all day.

I finished the special assignment.

I just gave you that assignment

to get you off my junk.

- Wait, really? - Yes.

I didn't ask you to come to the office with me.

And I also didn't ask you to correct

every decision I made like a big jerk.

Well, maybe if you'd listened to me

questioning all your decisions like a big jerk,

we wouldn't be at war.

Please, you were just mad

that people like me better than you.

What? No.

F-Fine. You know what?

All offers to help are hereby rescinded.

Let's face it. I'm an Elsa and you're an Olaf at best.

No, wait, everyone loves Olaf.

You're one of the carrots they feed the reindeer.

Damn it, I'm in a Frozen spiral again.

By God, I'm glistening.

Dare I say this is the best free makeover I've ever had.

You dare, and I dare.

You were right, Yolanda.

Contouring is exactly like frosting a cake.

If you mess up, you just add another layer.

We'd better get over to town hall

to get Honeybee to stop by for her pictures.

She's not responding to my texts.

Also I cannot see my phone.

All right, y'all, when you bring her,

I'll set y'all up with some gorgeous acrylic nails.

I don't know what those are,

and I cannot wait to have them.

Okay, everyone, hi, hi, nice to meet you.

I'm Honeybee, Interim Mayor of Lone Moose.

Ooh, peppermint bark. Can someone hold my retainer?

I stand before you as Mayoress Shanice Parker-Butts.

You have encroached on our land with much boldness, sir.

- 'Tis war. - Okay, yes,

first of all, love the outfits.

Listen, we are just talking about five feet,

and I'm sure Vera wasn't aware

- of the trouble she was causing when she... - I knew.

Who do you think called and told them?

- Vera. - Deal with it.

Chaos keeps me young.

She called, but you signed

the authorization for her to move the fence,

Mrs. Interim Mayor.

Mayor Honeybee, we have a situation.

Which I am dealing with.

Um, yes, hello, everyone.

Mayor Shanice.

But I'm actually not talking about the war.

Things have gotten a little... out of control in town.

Okay, guys, I'll be right back.

- Vera, get them some coffee, okay? - Never.

Okay, I am realizing

that getting rid of the noise curfew

and allowing hunting in town

may not have been one of my finest moments.

I guess, tell the crowd to disperse, Edna.

I'd love to, but no one is breaking the law.

Even the public drinking is legal now.

Boy, I really screwed the moose.

But I can handle this. This town still loves me.

Let me make an announcement

that if everyone goes home right now,

I will write on their Facebook wall

when it's their birthday. Aah!

Sorry. I was aiming for that moose.

Mrs. Tuntley!

Yoo-hoo, Mr. Owl!

I have eight more songs, then it's your turn.

Bottomless moonshine, get your bottomless moonshine.

What have I done?

- No. - Atten-hut.

Acting Mayor Honeybee Shaw-Tobin?

Unfortunately, yes.

I hereby notify you that as an ally

of the noble land of Whippleton,

the town of Ted's Folly

formally also declares war on Lone Moose.

Terrific.

What in the world?

Honeybee, we need to take you

to get your nails done.

Lady Birds Johnson.

I'm so upset I'm even wasting perfectly good pizza rolls.

Babe, no, what is it?

The peppermint bark didn't work.

I know you're mad at me, but-but-but...

Whatever it is, it's gonna be okay.

Let me get some pizza rolls out of the trash for you.

Well, I'm the worst mayor Lone Moose has ever had.

That's my final declaration as mayor.

That I'm the worst.

Sweetie, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself.

We've had some pretty bad mayors.

Mayor Hornby ate three of his constituents.

Now, what's going on?

If I tell you, can you promise

not to say "I told you so"?

Can I silently mouth it?

Wait, no, no, no, no, go ahead.

Well, you know how Whippleton declared war?

- Yep. - Well, apparently the treaty says

that if they declare war, Ted's Folly has to, too.

And I accidentally sort of on purpose

made public drinking and public nudity

and public singing and hunting moose in town legal,

and I didn't know people would, you know...

Take advantage of it?

I've always been good at being popular,

but I guess that's different than being powerful.

I just was having fun

being in charge and making decisions.

'Cause my dad never let me.

So then, when I was correcting you, it just...

Reminded me of that. And made me...

Mad. Aw, Honeybee,

I'm so sorry for being such a bossy bag of butts today.

Honestly, I was just jealous that you were mayor.

But you know what? I don't care if you're the town's favorite

as long as I'm still your favorite.

Of course you are. And I'm sorry, too.

Some of your ideas were really great,

even if how you said them sucked pinecones.

So, are we back to good?

Of course. I mean, I'm a little annoyed

about the peppermint bark supply,

which you know is impossible to get April through August,

even on the dark web.

I know. I guess I'll head back

to town hall and undo all my doings.

I will no longer be popular,

- but it's the right thing. - No way.

I know someone who's already not popular

and pretty ready to make everybody mad.

- Dane Cook? - Well, yes, probably him too,

but I'm talking about me.

I hereby use my authority as interim mayor

to name Wolf Tobin

as Lone Moose's "temporary" interim mayor.

There's a new, newer mayor in town

and he's about to flex his "no" muscle.

I may not be as popular as my beloved wife,

and no, I was not elected,

nor do I have your confidence...

- I like you! - Thanks, Dad.

- You look amazing. - I know.

But I am here to fix stuff.

So, listen up, Lone Moose.

Here in my hand I hold all of the bills

that your favorite mayor, Honeybee Shaw, signed today.

I am now revoking all statutes passed today by executive order.

So, holster your arrows, pack up your bar,

cover your butt cheeks, and disconnect your karaoke machine.

What about your sandwich you left in the fridge?

Care to revoke that, too? It's starting to stink.

Gwen, please, first, I need to put an end

to this senseless bloodshed.

Ted's Folly's army, you're with us.

I'm glad we're all friends again.

Ew. Why is your hand so wet?

I wish I knew, Shanice. I wish I knew.

- Group hug? - Touch me

and I'll have you arrested for war crimes.

One respectful nod it is.

Thank you for your loyal service,

Temporary Interim Mayor Wolf.

It was my honor, Your Honor.

Lone Moose may not like me right now,

but I know one person here who loves me.

Look, I know you don't need me to save you,

but I sure like helping you from time to time.

Well, there's no one I'd rather have save me than you.

Unless it's a drowning situation,

in which case I'm going Aquaman,

then The Rock, then that whale

- that played Willy, if he's free. - He is now.

All right, let's head home.

The peppermint bark may be gone,

but I think we still have some

potato-shaped holiday novelty chocolates

from St. Patrick's Day to dig into.

How about you dig into this soggy hoagie?

Since you can't remember to take it home,

you can wear it home, Wolf.

- Honeybee, you saved me. - Did I?

God, there's sauce everywhere!

Shh. Just rest now.

You two are so flipping weird.

I'm going towards the light.

Don't you die on me!

I'm leaving. Lock up when you go.

You got it, Gwen.

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